Dating Rules

In the comments section of "Dating Without Sex: Why It Usually Doesn’t Work," Maxz had a comment about how to get first date sex:

“Totally right on Chase.

All the girls I have lost are girls I moved slow with, and did not give them what they wanted meaning sex. After I discovered this site, I learnt my lesson in the move fast department. Every girl I meet these days I'm trying to move fast with. From getting them out on a date and so on.

But a question I had for you Chase is I'm still having trouble in the sexual escalation part. How do you get intimate with a girl on date number one and not prolonging dates to two or three before you bed a girl?”

In case you're new here and unfamiliar with the mantra of this site, it's "move fast, skip steps where you can, and take women to bed as soon as possible if you want to stand the greatest chance of keeping them around." The rationale, of course, is that it's easier to keep dating a girl you're already lovers with... than one you aren't.

But what about getting to intimacy on the first date? Can you really get first date sex with girls with any degree of consistency?

Or is it just a myth?

On Ricardus's post "How to Make Her Want You: Lessons from Marketing," a commenter named Garrett reports being conflicted over a few aspects of what's taught here. In particular, he asks why physical intimacy is needed with romantic partners, and if dating without sex isn't also just as possible.

Here's the part of his comment dealing with this topic:

“Out of curiosity, I've spent a lot of time researching this topic, and there are a few things I fail to understand. Firstly, to get a girlfriend, why must you sleep with them? If you can prove me wrong then I'd be interested to know, but I feel indifferent about this. I feel that everything in life requires balance and in order to get a girl to like you, you should be yourself, be mindful of ways to improve yourself, and strike a balance between acting like a jerk and on the contrary, a 'wet noodle' who is no challenge whatsoever.”

Garrett also goes on to say that he feels like other aspects of what's discussed on Girls Chase feel to him like "manipulation," though this is a topic already addressed in depth in " Is Seduction Wrong?," the basic premise of which is that people who lack the drive to improve themselves fear others who do who become conscious of their own actions and strive to perfect them, typically working to censor them and stop them to prevent competition and declining options for themselves (e.g., you will rarely have a successful career woman who's had to tooth and claw her way to success and improve herself dramatically stand and accuse you of being manipulative for learning seduction, though you will often have a girl who dropped out of high school and works at the local taco shop fly into a frenzy over how "manipulative" men like you are, presuming of course that she doesn't actually know you and is instead setting you up in her mind as some diabolical "other").

I won't cover whether seduction is manipulation and whether I ought to censor myself here or not again, although I will note that it does partly come down to where you draw the line - there are certain "dark arts" of seduction, like October Man and like Sexual Power Reversal, that I simply don't teach because it's too easy to do harm to women by wielding these clumsily. So, I do have an "ethical limit;" if I really honestly think it's something that can lead to the average man doing more harm than good, I don't teach it.

What I will talk about here today is if it's really necessary for you to have sex with a woman you want to pursue a romantic relationship with. Can you skip this step and get by with just waiting for marriage?

It's a question I've been asked a number of times on the site, and haven't addressed yet... at least on here.

But, as it turns out, this is actually one of the very first questions I had to discuss - and debate - on a public scale that has to do with sex.

So come with me, and let's have a look at what happens when you do not have sex.

Welcome once again, to this, the 12th Edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice. Featuring articles on pickup, seduction, relationships, self-improvement, and more, we seek to bring you some of the best of the Internet every two weeks, and this week is no exception.

This week's articles include two on break ups and exes, two on managing your internals, and one on falling in love - essentially covering the entire range of relationships, from approaching to getting into a relationship to getting out of it and staying out of it. This week's carnival might almost be considered a short-and-sweet Relationship 101 (with a little self-improvement thrown in for flavor).

And with that said, on with the carnival...

Welcome, friends, to the 11th edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice, with a great sampling of articles from across the blogosphere on relationships, dating, pickup, and more.

The pickings aren't as thick this week as the past several - I had to turn away some not particularly fitting applicants at the door (including an article on gay bars, one on how fornication is against the Word of God, and one on how sexual predators troll online for kids... it's always interesting). But we've still got four solid articles here from three of our regular submitters, and one new one; check them out below.

On with the carnival...

One question that confuses the hell out of a lot of guys (and also confused the hell out of me when I first learned all this sexual Jedi mind power stuff) is how long to wait before calling (or texting) a girl… and how to move things forward towards a date and beyond once you do call her.

You may have heard that you should not be too eager, and you may even have heard about the three day rule… get in touch with her after three days.

Then again, that one is so common now that a text or call after three days doesn’t really surprise anyone anymore…

What’s a man to do?

And what about dates… how can you really sweep a woman off her feet anymore, or should you even be concerned with that question?

What if you don’t want to drink alcohol… and even if you do, can’t “drinks” be too stiff or formal?

What’s the right way to go?

It's time for the 10th edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice! Bringing you a selection of the best articles on dating, relationships, sex, psychology, and more from across the web.

We've got eight articles for you in total this week, with an unusual number of pieces offering more or less profound looks into human psychology. In addition to these, we have for your sampling some hard hitting advice against blaming others, some unconventional advice on how long to wait before you start dating again after a breakup, some unexpected advice on the most powerful tool in the bedroom, and a couple of tips for women on knowing if that shy guy friend is into them and a rather humorous way to go about knowing if that man they're seeing is "The One."

On with the carnival...

Welcome once again to the 9th edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice! Per usual, we are bringing to you the best of the web in pickup, seduction, and relationship advice, for your viewing pleasure.

This week's carnival features a couple of posts on getting dumped, a pair on both getting and giving more in your relationship, and one on recognizing if you're in a relationship that's placing unnecessary demands on you (or your partner). And to top it all off, we've got another great "woman's perspective" post that will help you up your empathy and understanding for the fairer sex (and force you to overcome a few of your biases).

On with the carnival...