Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Sex Talk Calibration, Pt. 1: Context for Sex Talk

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sex talk contextSex talk’s a mighty tool for arousing girls in-field. Nevertheless, get the context wrong and it flops. The context MUST be right for sex talk’s success.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today and next week, we will discuss transitioning into sex talk. As you know, sex talk helps with many areas:

  • Stimulates her
  • Sets a sexual frame
  • Conveys attractive personality traits like sexual knowledge and experience (sexual prizing)
  • Diffuses resistance with your set
  • Generates sexual comfort
  • Escalates the vibe

The way we talk about sex is to discuss a sexual subject, whether it is a sociological, philosophical, or social-psychological subject linked to sex. It’s not “I want to do this and that to you,” as this would ruin your frame and trigger premature resistance (if not rejections), but instead, we talk about sex as any other interesting subject: you debate and discuss it and share knowledge.

The frame is “this is what I believe, what I know, this is my experience, and it is fascinating. I enjoy discussing this amazing subject with cool people.”

Thus, the overall frame is, “I could make you experience all these things if you are the right girl for me, but I am not saying I necessarily will.” Notice the modality difference between “will/want to do” vs. “may/could do.” For more details, read this post: Sleazy Sex Talk vs. Sexy Sex Talk: What’s the Difference?.

You may also check out this post: Showing Intent Without Showing Your Intentions.

What’s the most challenging aspect with talking about sex? According to my students and me, it is not talking about the topic but getting to where it is comfortable enough to bring up the subject: transitioning into it.

Women find sex topics interesting and stimulating, but it can be tricky to steer the conversation in this direction. Women find discussing sex one of the most intriguing subjects out there.

The problem is that sex talk, even when done correctly, can potentially trigger resistance.

We will discuss resistance to sex talk and how to avoid it through calibration. We’ll cover sex talk calibration, emphasizing transitioning, usually the shakiest phase to maneuver. Once you get comfortable talking about sex, things get much easier, although you may still need some additional focus on calibration.

For those wondering how you transition into sex talk, do not worry. I will share a few words about it and link to posts covering different techniques at the end of this article.

How to Get Girls You're Sleeping with to Want You as a Boyfriend

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to get a girl to want you as a boyfriendSometimes girls sleep with guys they don’t want to date. Here’s how to get a girl to want you as a boyfriend even if she doesn’t think she does (at first).

Most guys struggle to get together with the girls they really want.

Girls slow game them, won’t put out, or turn flakey or start ghosting. They evade the guy’s attempts to take things intimate, and may never go to bed with him.

However, for these guys struggling to bed girls, there’s generally one upside: the girls they do bed tend to be “theirs to lose” when it comes to a relationship. Once she goes to bed with them, she sticks around, tries to make it work, and does her best to push for something serious.

But there’s another class of men where things are the complete opposite.

For these men, getting women into bed is no issue; keeping them around, however, surely is.

Girls might stick around for a bit in short-term relationships. Yet they never stay for something serious.

How do you get girls you’re sleeping with to want you as a boyfriend if you’re this type of guy?

Well, there’re two different reasons this happens to men – once you identify which of the two is causing girls to not want you as a boyfriend, you’ll be well on your way to changing their minds about you.

Playing Dumb When Girls Act Superior (Flip the Script!)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

playing dumbSometimes girls will give strong opinions or try to lecture you. Rather than get annoyed, you can troll them on this… and seize control of the dynamic.

Yesterday, in a forum post about how to respond to far-left girls engaging in political lectures/rants, Ricardus (remember him?), who is easing back into the game after some time away from it, asked for ways to respond to this type of behavior.

I responded with my stock answer to this type of behavior… haughty, superior, lecture-type or rant-behavior, where people attempt to ‘educate’ you:

Playing dumb and asking questions that completely troll the high-and-mighty lecturer!

This is a somewhat advanced humor-based strategy but it’s hilarious to use and it totally wrecks the high-and-mighty frame of anyone trying to act like he or she knows more than you do – you’ll definitely want to keep it in your back pocket.

You can also use it to troll girls just in general, if you want to flip the script on them and really get them chasing after your validation.

[VIDEOS] Teeth, Skin, & Weight: More on Looking GOOD

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

A well-maintained appearance is a crucial part of a man’s attractiveness.

While they aren’t as fun or exciting as walk, posture, eye contact, or some of the other fundamentals we’ve discussed in the past, these more passive appearance-based fundamentals are nevertheless EXTREMELY important:

  • Teeth and smile

  • Skin (suppleness & health)

  • Body weight

How much can you really do with these though?

Well, the answer is A LOT… and I lay it all out in the three videos below.

When She Tells You "You're Not My Type"

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

TEXTIf a girl tells you you’re not her type, then what? Is it a rejection, or is there still hope? Well… it depends on the context – as well as on what you do next.

Hey guys. Today is the final installment of my series on handling tests and frame control. But this does not mean it will be the last time I write about these topics.

Hey guys. Today is the final installment of my series on handling tests and frame control. But this does not mean it will be the last time I write about these topics.

Remember, frame control is the tool we use to handle a girl’s tests when she tests your frame or attempts to grab it.

Initially, I did not intend to write this post, but a comment from a reader made me reflect on social frames.

Carlosirama wrote:

“[…] Also, maybe a stand-alone post with the most common sh** tests and how to respond, along with an explanation. Things like “I have a boyfriend,” “I don't do [BLANK] guys” (whether that’s short or people from a certain race or a younger/older race), "I don't usually do [BLANK], etc.”

These tests are linked to social frames.

Why Don't Women Cheat on Men Constantly?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

woman considering cheating with menWomen like sex, and sex is freely available to women. So, why aren’t women indulging in it constantly, cheating on guys right, left, and center?

I have seen this question posed several times in the comment section over the past year:

With sex with men so readily available to women, why don’t women cheat on men constantly?

The question seems to be, “What is holding them back?”

After all, sex feels good!

It takes a while for women to really get in the swing of things. Most girls like sex when they first start having it, but haven’t learned to really have the time of their lives with it yet.

As women age, their reservations about sex drop, they get more in touch with their bodies, and they have a lover or two who trains them how to really enjoy having sex, they begin to really love it. For some girls this happens sooner than others – you’ll meet some girls who are total sex addicts in their teenage years, and others who at 30 are only just starting to understand their bodies.

But, generally speaking, by the time a girl’s around her mid-to-late 20s, assuming she hasn’t led a totally sheltered life (or an extremely strict serially monogamous one where her only two boyfriends weren’t especially remarkable in bed), she’s really learned to love having sex.

Even if she’s younger than that though, she still LIKES sex a whole lot (and MIGHT love it!) and it still feels good… not to mention that sex is extremely validating (“Wow, I CAN get this guy!”).

So why aren’t girls just out there all the time, getting run through by a new guy every night?

Tactics Tuesdays: Pre-Approach Screening

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pre-approach screeningWhich girls to approach? Before you walk up, screen the girl & situation. You can learn a lot in advance… including whether she’s worth going up to or not.

One of the reasons guys psyche themselves out so much with approaching is trying to figure out in advance how an approach is going to go.

Well, you’re not going to know in advance how an approach is going to go. But you can try to form a rough general idea about what you’re signing up for before you approach a girl, to ready your game (and perhaps steel your resolve).

This is the ‘pre-approach screening’ you do: before you even walk up to a girl, you try to form a measure of who she is, what she’s about, what she’s likely to respond to, and what kind of reaction you can expect to your approach.

Every guy does this automatically to some extent. However, less experienced men are a lot vaguer in their pre-approach screening and are much less adept at reading women accurately.

So let’s arm you with a few simple tools you can use to get a measure of a girl before you make the approach. This will help you decide how to approach her… and even if she’s someone worth approaching in the first place.

Is She Testing You or Resisting You? Telltale Signs

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

testing or resistingSometimes girls’ tests can look like resistance. Sometimes their resistance can look like tests. How do you tell the difference? With a few telltale signs.

Hey guys and welcome back.

In this post, I resume my series about women’s testing of men they are or could be interested in. If you read all these posts, you will be prepared to handle most women’s tests in most situations. Of course, some tests are so unique that they require an odd solution, but usually, those tests are rare. The knowledge you gain from this series will help you find a solution to the strangest of tests.

Many men tend to confuse when a woman is testing and when she is resisting. Today I will clarify the differences between the two. The quick response to this concern is that it is a non-concern. It doesn’t matter what her motive is. What matters is what she expresses and how you respond. What she is doing or why she is doing it is irrelevant. If she is afraid of the slut label, tackle the issue head-on. If she is concerned about going home with strangers, address that issue. It does not matter if her resistance truly is resistance or a test—your response matters.

Although less likely, tests are camouflaged as resistance. If she is challenging your congruency because she is resisting, tackle it head-on as a test of congruency—even if she is doing so to resist.

For those more advanced who want to delve deeper into the subject, read on.

First, a quick reminder:

  1. Testing is a way for a woman to test or steal your frame. By stealing your frame, she is indirectly testing it. If she grabs your frame, it means your frame is weak.

  1. Resistance expresses a concern. She is worried about certain acts potentially leading to feeling negative emotions, pregnancy, risk of violence, or social shaming. Her concern remains valid until that concern is gone—your job is to handle her fears so they vanish, eliminating her resistance.

Theoretically, this distinction seems clear-cut. But practically, it’s a bit blurry.

Let’s go over why this confusion exists by explaining how resistance can sometimes be a test and vice versa before we learn what you can do about it.

Keeping Those Energy Levels Up: Working Hard + an Active Social Life

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

energy levelsFinding the energy to work AND maintain an active social life is hard. Here are my best strategies to keep those energy levels up… and avoid the slumps.

A reader writes in, asking about keeping up energy levels:

Hi Chase,

Re your Mental Models (I know how analytical and pragmatic you are)

So I was wondering how you have mastered your ENERGY levels, which I think will make a good article for your readers.

How do you get more / manage your ENERGY (mental and physical) to run your businesses and have a life too.

I am not asking about time management but more about ENERGY. For example I work 5-6 days a week (full time) I start at 6am and get home around 3pm (as a electrical third year apprentice).

During the free week nights I have, I always plan to get this and that done on my To Do list. But often I struggle even get one or two done as I just feel like I don't have much energy both physical and mental (to think clearly enough). I do of course get the dishes done, cook dinner etc. like living things done (mindless).

I do know I only sleep about 6 hours a night or a bit less (which I am working on). Any other tips and techniques you do from your experience? Maybe I should have a meal after I finish work for more energy before dinner? And no to cold showers! A hot shower to me a night is my wind down, relaxing time.

I am the type that like to get into the zone to get something done (but it is not always possible due to lack of time or mainly lack of energy) hence why I haven't really done much on my art /creative endeavours. I am 32 years old.
Please share some of your tips or link me the article if you think it makes a good one!

Thanks!
Reuben

Well, there are probably 20 million articles about productivity, energy levels, and so on on the web, and I am not 100% sure the Internet needs another one.

HOWEVER! I have definitely spent plenty of time editing and rearranging my life to enable me to do all the things I want to do, including work 9-10 hour days then still socialize after.

I will give a caveat that while some of the stuff I do comes from productivity experts, some of the other things I do probably run counter to typical productivity and energy advice. Unlike dating, this is not something I coach other guys on, or participate in communities on, or anything – so I have no idea how much of it is applicable to others vs. how much is unique to me.

Nevertheless, I have a system I have built over the years that works pretty well for me at keeping the sluggish periods to a minimum and the active, productive, energetic ones to a maximum. I’ll share what I’ve found and what works for me here.

Before we talk solutions though, first we need to talk about the major hurdles to this kind of “energy at your fingertips, to employ however you want” condition.

How to Get Same-Day Lays: Tips, Tricks, & Advice

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to get a same-day laySame-day lays are exciting, fun, and enviable. It may not always seem simple to get them though. With these eight tactics, they come much more in-reach.

It’s something of a Holy Grail for day gamers: bedding a girl the same day you meet. (this is a bit more common in night game! Actually it’s a lot… at least for most guys)

There are a lot of girls out there who are open to this though.

It’s not a majority of them, or a plurality of them. But in any city at any given time there is a not-insignificant number of women who for any of a number of reasons would really just like to meet a sexy male charmer who sweeps them off their feet and gives them the experience they need to fall into bed for a satisfying end to a satisfying day.

Of course, that doesn’t mean they will necessarily make it easy for you. They want it to be a good experience for them, too… which means you need to make the right moves to get there.

In this article, we’re going to talk about how to get a same-day lay. I lay out some of the same-day lay tricks, tactics, strategies, and advice I’ve accumulated over the years.