Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Absent Motive: The Hidden Reason Why Approaches on Girls Flop

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

approach on girl flopsAn all-too-common mistake men make that causes approaches on girls to flop. Even good conversationalists make this mistake… yet it’s simple to correct.

I want to tell you about a common, though obscure, reason why many men’s approaches on women don’t go anywhere.

When I make this reason clear to you, it’s going to be REALLY clear – and if you’re like many guys you may never have realized it before.

This phenomenon (it’s really a mistake) occurs in a great deal of approaches. When it’s there, you will be able to feel something missing in the approach, even if you’re not sure what.

Many things that actually aren’t to blame get fingers pointed at them over go-nowhere approaches. Yet the real reason approaches often flop is far simpler than the tangled accounts men often concoct to explain unsuccessful approaches on girls.

Tactics Tuesdays: Orgasm Stacking

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

orgasm stackingStack a girl’s orgasms together to enable more sexual fun. Use this tactic to help her cum in positions she often can’t… or to ratchet up sexy thrills.

Want to get a girl cumming in a certain position, but you’re struggling to bring her to orgasm in that position? There’s a simple solution to it: orgasm stacking!

Orgasm stacking is when you bring a girl to climax, then stack more climaxes on top of it. In general, you will find once a woman starts cumming, it is easy to make her keep cumming – including in different positions; including in positions she might otherwise have difficulty cumming in much of the time.

There’s a Chinese saying when it comes to sex that “The ox gets tired but the field does not.” This is meant to say that women are virtually inexhaustible once you get them going in sex; the only real limit to a sex session is the energy of the man. In my experience it’s very true. You can use this to your advantage in sex to stack orgasms, then transfer those orgasms to different positions and experiences with her.

Once you start stacking orgasms, you can get girls cumming in all kinds of different positions.

I should note before we dive in: this article assumes you are already adept at making women orgasm one way or another. If you’re unable to make girls cum in general, see our other articles on sex and start there. If you have a girl who’s resistant to orgasming, see this article on training girls to cum. If you can make girls cum but have trouble with endurance, see the articles on lasting longer and avoiding premature ejaculation. Once you’ve got those mastered, you can circle back to this fancy bedroom tactic.

Creep/Trust Spectrum and the NUT Model

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

creep/trust and the NUT modelWhy do girls trust some men yet feel uncomfortable with others? The answer lies in NUT: a way of comprehending how creepy or trustworthy someone will be.

Recently, I’ve done a lot of study of people’s experiences with stalkers, murderers, rapists (real rapists… you know, the gunpoint / knifepoint / beat-you-up / drug-you-up / tie-you-up kind), as well as just general creeps people meet in the streets, in the wilderness, and all kinds of places. Many of the people sharing these experiences are women, but there are plenty of men sharing them too. The vast majority of these I found on Reddit’s /r/LetsNotMeet (the best) and /r/CreepyEncounters (second best) boards.

Much of the time, before something bad happens, or even before the storyteller is aware of a threatening presence, he or she senses danger: adrenaline starts pumping, fear kicks in, and the person becomes instantly and suddenly AWARE. At other times, a stranger approaches, without causing any sense of fear or creepiness at all… but then, at some point, something changes (often something subtle) that makes the formerly unthreatening stranger grow frightening.

In some stories, the person under threat manages to encounter another random person or group of people to join forces with so the creep will leave him or her alone. Often the teller has a rapid sense that “this person is safe” and will make a trustworthy ally.

In a few stories, the creepy person turns out to have not been a threat at all, but instead someone with some developmental problem, or someone who mistakenly walked into the wrong house or room, or someone whose intentions just got misread. Much of the time, the creeps being talked about seem to genuinely be creeps.

Part of what I was looking for as I read all these tales was, “What is it that causes some people to set off creep alarms, while other people seem so non-threatening – even downright trustworthy?”

Because what we’re really talking about is “How do you put strangers at ease when you approach them, rather than totally unsettle them?” Very useful if you’re doing cold approach, or pretty much anything where you need to interact with strangers – or even people who aren’t strangers; social circle acquaintances, too.

This led me to what I’ll call the NUT model: three factors that determine how creepy or trustworthy another person seems to be – even if that person is a complete and total stranger.

Why Do White Knights Think Girls Don't Want Sex?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

white knights girls don't want sexAn irate reader accuses me of being a bad man leading conservative girls astray. I ask why white knights like this think girls don’t want sex?

I wrote an article on picking up shy, conservative girls who don’t go out, after guys have been requesting I write this for some time now. As I expected, it triggered some angry white knighting. A reader commenting on the article called me (in essence) a bad man and implied that I am using treachery to beguile poor, unsuspecting damsels into the sack, where I rob them of their innocence (and, presumably?, ruin them for their actual good conservative husbands who will come after me).

I’ll post his comment in full:

Considering that most girls sleep with two or less men in their lives, and conservative girls are in that subset, picking them up is usually unethical.
These women are looking to be with a single man, and being inexperienced they aren't terribly resistant to someone attractive who knows what they're doing.

"First, if you are a conservative man who thinks conservative girls are angels and no man should ever talk of picking them up and despoiling them, cool your heels. The guys I’ve had requesting this article are all guys who want to date these girls as girlfriends, ***or even*** take them as wives."

This last sentence comes from your worldview when it comes to commitment. Wanting to date these girls as girlfriends, where you interact with them for a few years then dump them, is atrocious. These are people who want to find someone to settle down with forever, often also wanting that person to be their only partner, and here you seem to think that 'giving' them a few years of 'commitment' - where there is no intention of marriage from the beginning! - is ... honorable or something.
"Or even wives!" Is worse, as though that's some extreme scenario. That's the baseline expectation for these women when getting into these relationships, and only an apparently extreme subset of the readership looking to sleep with them have the same expectations.

Men looking to marry conservative women might need help, but you're the wrong person to do it.
Men looking to use a conservative girl for months or years and then dump her, are not good people and should not be helped.

(Morally, men who are dealing with virgin conservative women should generally not sleep with them unless they want to marry them. It is hurting them and betraying their expectations. )

Aside from jumping to a bunch of wild conclusions that require some pretty egregious leaps of faith (that: conservative girls universally want to settle down ASAP with the first guy they get with; that conservative girls ‘only ever want one partner’; that I consider marriage an ‘extreme scenario’ [lol?]; that men who want to date conservative girls are “looking to use them for months or years then dump them”; that we said anything at all about sleeping with virgins), the comment itself regards women as these helpless waifs; regards charming men as predators; and regards men like this commenter the poor waifs’ gallant protectors.

I’ll discuss most of these points briefly, but only briefly, as they’re all points I have covered before already.

Beyond that, though, I want to answer a question that arises from this reader’s screed: is it possible to trick women into sex who absolutely DO NOT WANT to have sex with you at all?

Picking Up Girls from Bars that Close Late: Additional Considerations

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

late closing nightclubsMore considerations to help you pull off your late-closing nightclub pulls. How do you maintain state? How crucial is endurance game? Can you use public transport? And more…

Hey guys and welcome back.

Two weeks ago, I discussed how to deal with early closing hours (venues closing at around 3 a.m. or earlier), and last week, I covered late closing hours (venues closing at 5 a.m. or later). The dynamics in both settings differ, and so do your strategic options. You have less time to strategize in venues that close early and must be bolder to screen out unreceptive girls quickly.

In late closing venues, you have plenty of time to deal with those, and you can run efficient strategies that require more time, like extended verbal game or social proof game.

I also reviewed differences in venue dynamics:

  • With earlier closing times, the venue dynamic works for you by providing a peak hour that usually affects people’s state positively. However, these venues offer more wildcards, which are typically negative. A defined closing time gives you plausible deniability to extract the girl from the venue.

  • With later closing hours, you have a calmer and more settled vibe, and your results depend more on your work. You will be more in control but will get less for free.

Below, I will discuss the remaining logistical factors to consider with state control, sealing the deal, and providing pointers regarding your strategic choices in venues with later closing hours.

This post continues my post on late closing hours, although those who want to know more about early closing hours may still find some valuable details here. If the venues close late where you live, then this expansion post is for you.

Answering Some High-Level Questions About "The Game"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

high-level questions about the gameDo you still get those same ‘connected’ feelings when you use game? What if you want them? Is ‘game’ overcomplicated? Plus more questions on the meta.

Tactics Tuesdays: Approaching & Opening Groups of People

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

approach and open groups of peopleApproaching & opening a group of people may seem intimidating. Who do you focus on? How do you handle the others? These 2 strategies get you in the door.

You’re at the bar, or the mall, or the beach, and see a group of people.

You decide you want to talk to them. Maybe they look cool; maybe there’s a cute girl in the group.

Either way, you need to start a conversation… somehow.

How do you open when it’s a group of people?

There are two (2) ways: one bolder, and one more discreet.

Picking Up Girls from Bars that Close Late

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

picking up girls from late-closing barsClubs that close late can seem like great spots to pick up girls. But there’s a catch – take too long & you’ll find they empty out far before closing time. You need sound strategy to succeed!

Hey guys, welcome back.

Last week, we discussed strategic choices where clubs and the general nightlife close early, around 3 a.m.

To recap:

  • You must be bolder (more sexual and explicit, escalate the vibe faster, and screen out unreceptive girls). How much you screen depends on your skill level and how close it is to closing time.

  • Long-winded verbal and social proof game that take time are not ideal strategies.

  • You rely on the dynamics during prime time (1 to 1.5 hours before closing) to amp up things when girls tend to be more receptive. Use the plausible deniability from the club closing to leave the club with her (and her friends) to pull back to your place (or hers) or go to an after-party.

I won’t review further details from the last post since if you are reading this one and haven’t seen last week’s, it may mean that where you live, venues close late, and you are looking for ways to deal with later closing hours.

FYI, when I talk about late talking hours, I mean venues with closing hours starting at 5 a.m. to venues that never close.

  • Warm-up venues that close earlier than the main venues do not count, although you can meet girls and seal the deal there earlier.

  • Some cities where clubs close at 6 a.m. have after-hours venues that close at 9 a.m. or later (or don’t close). As you can imagine, the crowd is very niche with true party people. I enjoy those venues, but most people will be home before the regular clubs close. When most venues close and people stop partying there, that defines the “closing hour” where you are.

“Late” closing time is typically after 3 or 4 a.m. Most southern, eastern, and central European clubs close around 5 to 7 a.m. But some clubs in Germany open Friday and close on Sunday afternoon. As you can imagine, these are in Berlin, where there’s a niche market.

So, what is the dynamic of such venues?

How to Pick Up Shy, Conservative Girls Who Don't Go Out

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

picking up shy, conservative girlsIt’s not hard to find girls who date around. But how do you find the girls who don’t – and how do you pick up such shy, conservative girls?

The online world is filled with men declaring that all women are out there hooking up constantly, leaping from one man to the next, and that conservative women are unicorns.

The reality however is that the median American woman sleeps with a mere three men in her entire life. 42% of American women sleep with two or fewer men. 21% sleep with just one man all their lives. 6% die virgins, never having been with a man. Why then does it seem like there’s a non-stop sex party going on?

It’s because all these women who aren’t out there dating, partying, and sleeping around are invisible. They’re not on the scene. They don’t actively date much. Most of them have very quiet social lives, or barely even any social life. Most men who are actively dating women – using avenues like dating apps or nightlife – very rarely run into girls like this. Because, again, these women aren’t active in the scene. The smaller number of prolific dating women, on the other hand, are VERY active… and it is easy to run into them a LOT.

I wrote this article to answer a question guys have been asking me lately: namely, where do you have to go and what do you need to do to pick up shy, conservative girls?

Tactics Tuesdays: Romantic Disclaimers

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

romantic disclaimersYou’re chatting with a girl, and she hasn’t rejected you, but you’re not certain she’s entirely down with you, either. How do you propose moves safely? With romantic disclaimers.

Let’s say you follow my advice and do your best to move faster with girls.

Just because you’re moving fast is no excuse to not mind social rules. You still must come across socially adroit even as you break society’s usual rules.

One simple way to do this as you ask things, invite girls to things, and make your proposals is with romantic disclaimers.

A romantic disclaimer is any bit of language you use to take the edge off anything you say that might otherwise be a bit improper. For girls who dig you but weren’t expecting you to move that fast, it can make all the difference.