Articles by Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Chase Amante

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Deal with "You Need To..."

deal with you need to
You meet a girl, and she tells you "You need to dress better when you go out" or "You shouldn't talk to girls that way." Can this be salvaged – or is your goose cooked?

Sometimes you meet a girl who hits you with a demand, a critique, or an instruction.

Sometimes it's in a flirtatious way. Others it's with attitude (whether annoyed, or of the schoolmarm variety). Either way, the words of the thing will look like these:

  • "You need to start dressing better and not wear t-shirts so much."

  • "You shouldn't walk up to girls and make fun of them before you know them."

  • "You have to do something about the way you talk to people. It's too assertive."

  • "You should be more respectful about how you talk to women."

  • "You need to trim your beard. It's too long."

  • "You should stop wearing torn jeans. It's not fashionable anymore."

... and any of a variety of similar instructions or critiques.

Again, the tone can vary: sometimes she's flirty; sometimes she acts like an adult lecturing a clueless kid.

There are a variety of ways to respond to these critiques. Most of these ways aren't that great.

However, there are a few excellent ways to respond to these, that are pretty much always what you want to go for.

Tactics Tuesdays: The 3 Second Rule (Approach Her in 3 Seconds!)

3 second rule
The 3 second rule says you must approach a girl within three (3) seconds of realizing you want to talk to her. When do you follow this rule – and when not?

For today's Tactics Tuesday, I've dug up an old pickup rule some of you well know, and others may not have heard of.

The 3 second rule stems from the early online seduction community. It's a "Mystery" tactic (one of the early 2000s seduction pros). And while you don't want to be rigid about it, it for sure can be a handy little thing.

The 3 second rule works like so: from the instant you spot a girl you'd like to approach, you have three (3) seconds to approach her.

The purpose of the rule is to avoid all the downsides that accompany waiting too long to approach: the buildup of nervousness, worrying thoughts that lead to psyching yourself out, and the closing of the approach escalation window.

The rule itself is straightforward. Today we'll talk about a couple reasons it's useful... plus when it's better to ignore this rule.

Feeling Doubtful? Well, Have You Taken Action Lately?

doubt and action
At times you will go out to meet girls and not meet any, or encounter other similar situations. And doubt takes you. How do you deal with this kind of doubt?

Several times throughout my seduction career, I've found myself in a curious place. I'd have had a little time off, where I'd focused on work or girlfriends and not approached new women. But then came the time to go chat up new girls again.

I'd go out, go somewhere social like a bar or a networking event, approach anxiety would hit, and I wouldn't talk to anyone. At the end of it, I'd head back home.

And then, I'd wrestle with doubt. Do I really want to do this? I'd ask myself. Go out and talk to strangers and try to find women to bed? Isn't it kind of embarrassing, just putting yourself out there to get shot down? Isn't it sometimes so much grinding?

And for a while the self-doubt would be strong. I'd think about all the other things I could be doing other than approach girls. I already have a beautiful girlfriend, I'd tell myself. She'd love to be shagging my brains out right now. Instead I am standing around not talking to anyone trying to get myself meeting chicks again? Or I might think I could've been at the putting on muscle or getting into work early and staying late to get ahead. Instead I just went out and failed to talk to women.

This crushing sense of am I really doing the right thing with my life? would soak through my bones.

Then, all at once, I'd realize something: "This is the gayest thought process ever. I didn't even talk to any women and got zero new information about anything. Why the heck am I suddenly trying to make a major life decision based on zero new information?"

After I experienced the 'self-doubt, then realization' process enough times, I've become almost immune to doubt... once I realized that, at least for me, almost all the doubt I experience comes as a result of inaction, rather than action.

Tactics Tuesdays: Talk Simply and Clearly

talk clear and simple
Do you talk in clear, simple ways? The most effective communicators all do. Use these tips and make your language a breeze to understand.

Early in my teenage years, I began to learn humor. Mostly I watched late night talk shows and crafted one-liners. I tried longer funny jokes too, but they usually fell flat. The lesson I learned - without realizing at the time - was simple one-line quips usually worked best.

Another early humor realization: obscure humor leaves most people confused. For maximum laughs, choose easy-to-understand humor almost anyone can relate to.

After high school I became a tire salesman. At the start, I'd give lengthy sales pitches with all the features a tire had. I'd ask customers questions like "What are you looking for in a tire?" (since most people don't know much about tires, that question usually got blank stares). My boss noticed this and told me to forget about features and focus on the benefits. The customer doesn't care the tire was laser-etched. He does want to know it grips the road when the streets are wet, or provides a smoother, more comfortable ride. So I switched to my boss's clear, concrete examples, and I sold more.

Next my boss told me to ask how the customer's current tires did for him. And he told me to ask if there was anything the customer wished his tires did better. So I did that, and instead of blank stares I'd get direct answers: "It'd be nice if they'd lasted a little longer." Or "I have trouble with them when it rains." Now that I knew what each customer wanted, it became easier to sell, and I sold more still.

When I began to write sales copy, a friend told me to throw my copy into Hemingway Editor. The editor rates a piece's reading grade level: does it read at a first grade level? A fifth grade level? A tenth grade level?

I'd seen Hemingway before and run my writing through it. Sometimes it came back as "Post-Grad." How intellectual of me! I thought at the time. My friend pointed out this actually meant the writing was hard to read. The higher the grade level, the more challenging the read. Even for the well-read, lower reading level writing is easier to process. My friend mentioned he'd whittled sales copy of his for a finance product down from Grade 8 to Grade 4, and his sales doubled. "If I can explain a complicated finance product in fourth grade language, you can do it for anything," he told me. I became a devotee of the app. I didn't just use it for sales copy; I ran all sorts of writing through it, and used it to make all my writing simpler.

Next I reread Stephen King's On Writing. Suddenly all King's talk of removing adverbs, gerunds, and the word 'that', plus using simple words instead of complex ones stood out. I made all those changes to how I wrote and spoke.

Each step of the way, in every new language-based endeavor I took on, I learned the same lessons. Language works best when it is simple and clear.

Happy 10th Birthday to GirlsChase.com!

girls chase 10 year birthday
Girls Chase launched in September 2008 to little fanfare. Now, 10 years after its inception, we look back on the last 10 years.

Saturday, September 8th, was Girls Chase's 10th birthday.

GC came online 10 years ago with the brief post "Welcome to GirlsChase.com!", which stated:

"Welcome to the new GirlsChase.com! My name's Chase Amante and it's my pleasure to launch this site as a resource for men out there looking to take their dating lives to the next level. I'll be providing content on a weekly basis, delving into how you can better meet, attract, and date the women you want -- and how to keep them coming back for more. I'm excited to finally launch this site... it's been a long time coming, I know! So, gentlemen, buckle up, ready your engines, and here we go..."

That was on September 8th, 2008. We had 58 unique visitors that month.

Last month, we had 964,000 unique visitors. Around 1.1 million total visits.

To commemorate our 10th anniversary, let me give you a guided tour of some GC history...

How to Be the Coolest Guy in the Room

coolest guy in the room
The coolest guy in the room… every guy wants to be him. Yet you can't "try hard" to get there. The secret to his cool is what he does do – and what he doesn't.

When you go out to socialize, you quickly discover image is a big part of things. People make quick evaluations of you drawn from your clothes, how you carry yourself, your company and how those around you interact with you, and other signals. Those evaluations - often, snap judgments - affect how people treat you unless and until you give them reason to change their minds.

If they think you look cool, they may stare at you, try to get close to you, bump into you, or talk to you. Women may hover near you and send you approach invitations (or, sometimes, approach you themselves). Men may strike up a conversation or try to include you in what they are doing.

If they think you look lame, they may laugh at you with their friends or try to distance themselves from you. Women who think you look lame may roll their eyes at you or close their body language up to discourage you making an approach. Men who think you look lame may try to tool you to improve their position and ladder climb up over you.

And in any large group, most of the people there won't even be of much interest to most of the other people. These people - those neither at the top of the coolness hierarchy or at the bottom of it - are in the 'fuzzy middle'. They mostly just end up ignored, mentally classed as 'background noise' by other people making their evaluations.

Your mission is often going to be to not be the lame guy at the bottom, or one of the invisible guys in the middle.

Rather (often), you are going to want to make yourself the coolest guy in the room.

Great Man Theory Is Undeniably Real

great man theory
Great Man Theory states that men with outsize power can have outsize impacts on society and history. Does this theory have legs – or is it all illusion?

Early this year, Science Daily (a website I like) claimed a new study on spiders 'debunked' the "19th-century notion that highly influential individuals use their power" to shape history. This theory these spiders had debunked was Great Man Theory.

I'd heard of Great Man Theory a few times over the years. I never gave it much thought. However the Science Daily article piqued my interest. If there is one thing the media has taught me (and the media has taught me many things), it is that the word 'debunked' usually signals something is, by contrast, actually worth looking into.

If you want a common man to dismiss something as obviously wrong, just tell him it's been debunked. Then he will know - devote thought to this, and your membership in the world of good thinkers is gravely imperiled. Abandon these lines of inquiry now... lest you be tossed into the 'gullible idiots box' and excluded forever from the society of the educated and informed.

Of course, if you are a contrarian - as I am - these veiled warnings that a thing is intellectually off limits only interest you in it more. They make you want to investigate a thing. To learn all about it, as well as its counterclaims.

This new interest in Great Man Theory led me down a rabbit hole that, in only a short time, changed my thinking on a profound, important topic that affects the way a man views his place in the world.

Tactics Tuesdays: Kick Her Out or Leave (at Least Once)

kick her out
When you kick a girl out (or leave her place yourself), you set excellent precedent – for the long-term of that relationship.

There's one very special thing you should do with every girlfriend you plan to be with longer than a month or two.

It's a thing she will always remember - one of those memories that sticks in the brain.

She may not necessarily cherish it... but then again, she may.

That thing is to kick her out.

You can also leave. Though leaving is less powerful than giving a girl the boot.

You don't want to do this capriciously. You should only do this if a girl truly gives you a good reason to.

Fortunately, women being the boundary-testers they are, sooner or later every girl will give you a good reason.

And when you give her the boot - or take your stuff and go - you set a precedent for the entire rest of the relationship that makes everything else you do easier... because it's backed up with teeth.