Articles by Author | Girls Chase

Articles by Alek Rolstad

Why "The Lover" Always Wins the Dating Game

lover vs provider
Should you come across as a lover or a provider? Let’s examine why the lover’s frame is always best, no matter the type of relationship you want with a girl.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

In this post, I’ll discuss two aspects of seduction men need to consider to achieve great success with women.

There have been many theories that split concepts into categories, phases, or into different aspects, like “the five pillars of seduction,” etc. Today I want to break it down to its core.

The framework I’ll present will be very intuitive and broad, yet I’ll give examples as we proceed.

You may have certain frameworks you already use to make sense of the world of seduction and women. There is nothing wrong with that if it is helpful. However, you may encounter a competing framework that you happen to find equally interesting. Yet, it is not coherent with your usual framework. This will not be the case here.

The framework I’ll discuss is so basic that any other framework you may have will be compatible. If it is not, then your initial framework needs reworking.

Touch During Seduction: How Much Is Too Much?

sex talk and touching
Touch is vital to seduction, but too much can trigger resistance. At what point can touching backfire, particularly when you’re talking about sex?

Hey guys! Today I will delve into typical issues related to calibration. For example, how much should you escalate while delivering “impactful” verbal game like sex talk or hypnotic patterns meant to sexualize conversation and stimulate her?

I get this question a lot. How much should you touch a girl when you talk about sex? I realize I have not publicly given a good answer to this question, and that’s why I would like to cover it here.

There are no crystal-clear answers. Some prefer to touch more than others. Both strategies have pros and cons. Like many techniques in the field of pickup and seduction, it comes down to which advantages you favor for the price of associated disadvantages.

Let’s begin by stating some universal facts.

Who Should Do the Most Talking During Sex Talk Seduction?

sex talk seduction
Sex talk is a powerful seduction tool. But when the conversation gets juicy, should you do all the talking or let her chime in? Here are the factors to consider.

The other day I had a very interesting group conversation with Dan, Pablo, and Velasco about investment when delivering sex talk. They all had different perspectives based on their style (remember, they are all part of the “sexual game school”), and all were correct based on the way they do things. From their observations, we agreed that all our pointers had pros and cons.

The discussion was about whether you should do most of the talking when delivering sex talk, or get her to invest back.

My conclusion: it’s dependent on the girl and the circumstances, and also where you are in the seduction (which phase).

So, this is what I will discuss here.

First let’s briefly cover the arguments of the pros and cons of having her invest and participate rather than doing all the talking yourself.

This post is ideal for advanced players who want to add additional calibration to their verbal game. Beginners should do 60–65% of the talking, and let her do 35–40% (approximations, not rules set in stone).

We will focus mostly on sex talk, but I strongly believe it applies to any verbal game. The tips below will help create a verbal game that:

A powerful verbal game sets a sexual frame, a high social value, or can be very hypnotic. Weaker (or fluffy) verbal game is different because it is far less powerful, so it is better to have her invest more in that case, because if you are doing all the talking, it will not be as powerful. So you may as well make her invest.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: The Secret House

pickup seduction gambit: the secret house
This seduction gambit is designed to make your girl visualize a liminal space (or bubble) in her mind, causing her to feel sexually liberated and horny.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I will share another gambit that uses the concept of liminoid space that we've discussed for the last few weeks.

A liminoid space is an area within the bigger whole (culture, society, etc.) where the rules are blurred, usually leading to liberation and freethinking.

Here are the relevant articles if you want more info or a recap:

The idea with this gambit is to make her visualize such a space, adding liberated aspects to it. From there, you’ll free her sexually.

To start this off, I’ll give you an idea for a transition. Also, remember these posts illustrate how I do these gambits (my recommended version). Feel free to modify them to fit your own style and personality.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: Sexual Tension and Liminality

pickup and seduction gambit sexual tension
This seduction gambit uses the concepts of liminality and sexual tension bubbles. In fact, its objective is to create sexual tension by talking about sexual tension.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I will share a gambit that builds upon the concept of liminality, which I've covered in recent posts. Liminality is a concept taken from anthropology to describe the transitional phase in a society that is "betwixt and between." It's the time period in which “what is” has been broken down, and “what is to become” is yet unknown.

We also discussed how liminality could help us understand certain aspects of seduction, and seduction as a whole.

We saw how liminality could help us make sense of sexual tension, a powerful yet rather vague tool. Most good seducers are aware of the power of sexual tension. There is no doubt that it is one of the most powerful tools in a seducer's arsenal.

The issue of sexual tension is twofold:

  • How do we explain what it is? It is such an odd experience that one may have difficulty describing it.

  • How do we generate it? Most experienced seducers have witnessed the power of sexual tension, but few have a good method for generating it at will. We’ve tried to not only understand sexual tension but also to figure out how to generate and maintain it.

If you’d like to read my series on sexual tension, including how to generate and maintain it, you are welcome to do so. I also have a cool “sexual tension” report.

Today, I will share a verbal gambit that can help you generate sexual tension. Yes, we are talking about inducing sexual tension with a conversation.

Before I get into the gambit, note that some nonverbal elements play a significant role in whether this gambit will help you generate sexual tension and how much you will be able to generate.

These nonverbal elements include:

  • Eye contact

  • Gestures and body language (recommended: relaxed and slow)

  • Tonality and pace of voice (recommended: a slower, darker voice with pauses; if you know how to use a hypnotic voice, use it here)

If you are a beginner or intermediate, or perhaps an advanced guy who does not have a strong verbal game, you may not achieve the full effect.

However, even if you do not manage to generate sexual tension, or do so weakly, I still would not consider it a failure. There are MANY other great benefits this gambit can provide! I will discuss those further after sharing the gambit itself.

This gambit is recommended after an initial hook, preferably in an isolated setting with lots of compliance. The vibe between both must be quite sexual. The purpose of this gambit is to escalate things further.

The Seduction Liminoid: How to Create a Sexual Tension Bubble

liminoid bubble of sexual tension
How do you build a sexual tension bubble with a girl, where you can make your own rules and foster sexual freedom? By harnessing the seductive power of the liminoid.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week we discussed the concept of liminality and how it applies to pickup and seduction.

In broad terms, the concept of liminality describes the transitional phase within a society. It's when the status quo is deconstructed, and the new has not yet been institutionalized. This is the phase betwixt and between in the lifespan of society and culture. But this concept can also be applied to humans. We can see liminality as a rite of passage, for instance, during the time from childhood to adulthood.

But the theory doesn't stop there. We've discussed how liminality could apply to seduction, and more interestingly, how it could help us make better sense of certain seduction concepts, namely:

We looked at how seduction is about leaving a girl in a liminal phase (state of limbo) when she is curious about you and your interest level or intentions. Since liminality is the phase betwixt and between, leaving her in a phase when something is happening — but not certain or well-defined — keeps the intrigue and mystery going.

We also saw how seduction ends when this phase ends, as you move away from the liminal phase. We also discussed how keeping her in a liminal phase can keep your relationship going in the long-term.

Another key aspect relates to how a liminal phase is liberating. Since it is betwixt and between, social rules are somewhat broken. Something may be real, while at the same time not “official,” or unknown to the social world.

According to the great anthropologist Victor Turner:

They are dead to the social world, but alive to the asocial world. Many societies make a dichotomy, explicit or implicit, between sacred and profane, cosmos and chaos, order and disorder. In liminality, profane social relations may be discontinued, former rights and obligations are suspended, the social order may seem to have been turned upside down. (Turner, V., Liminal to Liminoid, p. 59)

Today we will discuss the other part of his essay, the liminoid, and how that applies to pickup and seduction.

Liminality and Seduction: Inside the Bubble of Sexual Tension

liminality bubble of seduction
Have you ever been in a sexual bubble with someone, seemingly separated from the outside world and free to make your own rules? Liminal space is the seducer’s Shangri-La.

Today I will share a bit of an abstract concept. It’s inspired me often in my analysis and overall understanding of pickup and seduction. Hopefully the reason why will become clear by the second half of this post, where I’ll show an applied example.

This concept is called “liminality” and comes from social theory, or more precisely from anthropology. It’s also used in psychology and sociology, as well as social philosophy.

Anthropologist Arnold van Gennep coined liminality, but anthropologist Victor Turner perfected it. Turner has written multiple texts on the subject, but I would consider his "Liminal to Liminoid, in Play, Flow, and Ritual: An Essay in Comparative Symbology" to be the flagship study.

I will not go into great detail about the theory for the sake of keeping this article concise and on point, but in my academic career, I‘ve been often inspired by Turner's concept of liminoid spaces (see my post on the secret society).

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: The Period Paradox

pickup seduction gambit
This pickup gambit is designed to help you transition into sex talk. It gets her intrigued, sets a sexual frame, and conveys your understanding of female sexuality.

Hey guys, welcome back. Today I will share a very easy sex talk gambit. It is not a nuclear bomb of sexual frames. However, it is a fun and captivating transition.

Guys always ask me for transitions. It is the sex talk related subject most men struggle with. I sympathize because I’ll admit it is the most complicated part of sex talk. Once you get the ball rolling after setting the initial sexual frame (and she accepts it), escalating further and talking more about sex becomes a piece of cake.

The struggle is to get that ball rolling.

There are multiple ways to do it, like using proxies or bridging subjects. The beauty of these techniques is that they are universal tools. Sometimes, situational events like what a girl says can be used to lead into sexual talk.

In my opinion, the easiest, most powerful way to transition to sex talk is to have a premade gambit that you can either use as-is or modify depending on the circumstances.

Here are some premade gambits for you:

Not only can you re-use what’s worked in the past, but they are also tailored to work as best as possible. And through repeated use, they can be enhanced and changed for maximum success. (You can trust my gambits; they work for me and others. Considering I am a risk-averse seducer, they are pretty much rejection free.)

This gambit (The Period Paradox) can provide other goodies to assist your interaction:

So, with that said, I will share a little gambit that is fun and easy to pull off any time in the interaction. This is for night game. The vibe is loaded, sexual, and delivering it is no-risk. You do not need to have the girl very hooked to pull it off (I think one may even use this fun gambit as an opener, although don’t take my word for it as I have not tried that yet).

In day game, one has to watch out a bit more, so I suggest delivering it only when she is truly hooked, or after you have managed to get her seated with you in the case of an instant date, or a first date.

Besides these consideration, I believe that lower intermediates can pull this off without issues. I also think beginners may give it a try.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: Sexual Frustration

pickup seduction gambit
This seduction gambit is good for introducing sex talk and setting a sexual frame very quickly. It utilizes contrasting and conveys to her that you are a sexual prize.

Hey guys. I hope you are all doing great. Today I want to share another cool gambit that can help you hook girls in and immerse them further into the interaction, but more importantly, introduce sex and a sexual frame.

This gambit, like every gambit, should serve these purposes:

  • To inspire you

  • To use as is (or reword the gambit and add your own touch)

  • To use as a template to create your own gambits

Most importantly, you’ll see how to use seduction concepts as I teach with examples. You’ll learn how different concepts are mashed together and how they are applied in seduction. I will share the gambit first, then talk about some ways to transition from there.

This gambit is perfectly fit for early in the interaction, post-hook, or even right after the opening! Yes! You may use this gambit as a hook gambit.

What do I mean by this?

Most interactions start with the opening phase: you initiate contact. (I know, some may say the interaction starts before that phase, when you catch her eye and make visual contact. You are right, but let’s leave the semantics out for now.) After an opening, you may realize the vibe is a bit “meh.” She did not outright reject you, but you don’t feel like the conversation is flowing yet. So, you need to hook her in, getting her immersed into the conversation. We call this the hook phase.

This gambit can help you get her hooked.

Let’s cover the gambit and look at the mechanisms at play, then find out how you can use this to get further into sex talk.

How to Make Rejections from Girls Work in Your Favor

rejection from girls
Is there a way to make rejections and bad reactions from girls work in your favor? Yes! In fact, it’s super easy with this “walk away and rebound” strategy.

Hey guys. Today I will discuss a subject that may seem a bit odd. Can you actually benefit from a rejection? Can you turn a rejection around into something useful?

And no, I will not attempt any silly reframes claiming that rejections harden you up as a man, or that they serve as great learning lessons (even though they do).

What I’ll discuss is how you can use a rejection and turn it into something beneficial right then and there, at that moment.

I see a couple benefits in having this mindset and skill:

  • Approaching becomes less scary since rejections can be turned into something useful

  • Rejections can actually increase your chances of getting girls

To me, that is a win-win.

But this is just in theory. How it works in practice depends on the circumstances and your ability to calibrate and react accordingly.

Ultimately, it is about how well you perform in the face of rejection. And this is what I will help you with today.

As I cover this technique, I’ll try to be detailed as possible on the nuances. It may be easy to grasp theoretically, but it’s a bit harder to pull off in real life. It requires you to observe small nuances and act on them.

It may be hard for the beginner, due to lack of experience. But the cure is gaining more field experience through trial and failures.

This post is best suited for night game.