Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Dealing with Social Friction, Part 3: Adjusting for Friction

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

friction adjustmentsSocial friction is everywhere in your conversations and seductions. But how do you adapt when you encounter it? That depends on the level of friction – plus where it comes from.

In almost every social or romantic interaction you’ll have, you will encounter social friction. Social friction is our catch-all concept for anything and everything that rises up to impede your social objectives. All these count as ‘friction’:

In Part 1 of my series on social friction, we fleshed out exactly what social friction is and how it affects your socializing and seduction.

In Part 2, we discussed reevaluating your situation with the help of the 3 Rs: Recognize, Remove, and Reassess. Rather than get trapped in a deteriorating situation, with the 3 Rs you can evaluate in real time whether to stick with the plan or make a change of plans.

Today, we’ll discuss how to adjust in the face of social friction. We’ll cover everything from minor adjustments to your plan, to the necessity of having a bailout plan – no matter what you’re doing.

Best Way to Improve with Girls TODAY: Write Field Reports!

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

improve with girls faster by writing field reportsIf you want to get better at picking up girls, dating girls, and sleeping with girls, there is NO BETTER TOOL at your disposal than writing field reports.

This post by Hector Castillo originally appeared on our forum here.

It's been officially 6 years since I've joined this forum. I recently re-reposted my first ever LR (and post on the forum).

What I remembered from reading this report and a few others on the boards right now, is that there is almost NOTHING that makes you better with women quicker than field reports.

It's almost as good as coaching... almost 😀

On the "Women Insult & Shame Men Who Approach Them" Mass Hysteria

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

anti-approaching mass hysteriaMany men in the 2020s are terrified to approach women. They’re paralyzed with fear a girl might shame or insult them. These fears are a male mass hysteria.

Mass hysteria has gripped the minds of millions of Western men as of the mid-2020s. These men are not just hesitant to approach women – they’re terrified of it.

And while approach anxiety has always had at its root overblown fears and paranoia, the latest variant is so wildly inflamed it can’t be called anything other than a mass hysteria.

This modern anti-approaching hysteria goes something like this:

“You’d have to be a fool to approach a woman in the modern age! Women have become so hostile to men approaching them that it’s not worth the risk of being shamed online or charged with harassment. Anyone trying to get men to approach women in this environment is an enemy of men.”

Like other moral panics, those caught up in the hysteria live in self-reinforcing bubbles. Inside these bubbles they repeat their claims and egg on one another’s panic. They seize upon the slimmest proof to reinforce their hysterias, and dismiss all evidence to the contrary.

Feeling threatened and cornered, a purity spiral has taken hold of these men. Anyone who argues against their belief in the vast, lurking, insidious dangers of approaching a woman is cast out as “not with us but against us”, an agent of evil who seeks only to do harm to these pathetic hysterics.

Interacting with them online, I’ve found myself a frequent target of their hostility. It’s obvious they live in a different reality. I and all the other playboys I know, as well as all the beginner playboys in our community and our forum, can walk outside right now and approach as many women as we want without encountering a shred of the hostility or shaming the hysterical men claim lurks just behind every deceptively cute girl.

Average, ordinary, non-super-good-looking-or-rich-or-high-status men all across the United States, Europe, and the rest of the world are approaching multiples of women every day and do not run into any of this behavior the hysterics claim ubiquitous.

What’s caused this hysteria to grip the minds of so many millions of self-isolating modern men?

Why, despite the free online availability of materials on how to approach girls, have men become ever more inward-looking, more fearful of an approach than ever?

And might there be something to these men’s beliefs?

RELATED: Why Are 21st Century Men So Apathetic and Unmotivated?

why are men so apatheticTurn off the screens, shut out the Matrix, and recall the blood of pioneers, conquerors, nobles, and kings that flows through you.

Using Negativity When Sex Talking to Girls (Can It Work?)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

negativity that attractsNegativity done right can make for engaging conversation – but it’s also potentially loaded and risks putting women off. Here’s how to use it right.

Hey guys. In the upcoming weeks, I will focus on sex talk. This is my signature technique, which many of our advanced readers appreciate. I will share updated insights along with the latest techniques and tools for calibration.

A poster on the Skilled Seducer Forum mentioned some time ago that he struggles with using sex talk. He seems relatively new to it, and it is not a beginner-friendly technique. There are several interesting factors to consider regarding his question.

Here’s what he says.

None of the Sexual Gambits Work

Whenever I use sex talk, it seems to make girls angry and defensive rather than aroused. This is what I usually do. I need to transition into sex talk somehow, so I use anger:

"You know what REALLY frustrated me a while back? I was arguing with a friend about who has it easier, men or women. And he made me mad because he said women!"

Then I show my prizable traits with more frustrated talk:

"…Women have it way harder! To find a guy who can stimulate you both physically and mentally, who can make you feel safe yet desired...that's difficult! Ugh, I really do hate this!"

I say that non-sarcastically, of course. My thought process: It seems like I’m venting, but, in fact, I’m showing prizable traits.

"And how difficult it is to find a guy who can show desire but also control himself. That is what's terrible about being a woman! You can’t find really good men easily, and I HATE that. I feel sorry for all the women out there.

Some women don’t know what they like or what they want. As you know, to arouse a guy, you touch him in that one place, but to arouse a woman, you touch her everywhere else but there. And women need an experienced guy to show them this. It must be terrible looking for such a guy and always being disappointed, ugh."

So, I vent away, expecting heaps of attraction and arousal. However, women usually respond poorly. They argue with anything I say. Or they say they don’t have an opinion and change the topic.

They seem irritated instead of aroused. Am I doing something wrong, or are all the gambits just bad?

(See None of the Sexual Gambits Work)

Before you jump to the conclusion that the person asking this is a noob or frustrated, which may or may not be true, the fact remains that many of my gambits do play around with some negative emotions, such as:

  • Objectification (discussing sexual objectification of women, then presenting a theory of sexual subjectification)

And these are just a few. They all have a negative underlying connotation. After all, frustration is undesirable, and so is objectification.

The question is straightforward: Does using negativity or referring to negative experiences or states, such as frustration, truly work to transition into sex talk? More specifically, is the OP’s approach successful in practice? And if it is, how do you transition from there?

Different Girls' Different Reactions to Being Cold Approached

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

why women respond how they do to cold approachDifferent women respond differently to cold approach. Some are nice, some are haughty – and the reasons for the differences vary from girl to girl.

Different Girls' Different Reactions to Being Cold Approached

Different women respond differently to cold approach. Some are nice, some are haughty – and the reasons for the differences vary from girl to girl.

I shared a video on X the other day of a girl talking about how grateful she is to guys who still cold approach, plus how surprised she was at a woman she complimented being closed and aloof to her.

It raises an interesting point we don’t talk about quite enough in my opinion: why are women’s reactions to cold approach so vastly different?

Any guy who’s in the field knows how variable cold approach reactions can be.

Unless you’re doing something very wrong (or very right), most women won’t be openly hostile or wildly exuberant. But within that range in the middle between the poles, there’s a great deal of variation.

You’re the same guy, approaching the same way… but some girls just react very differently to you than others do. Wherefore should this be so?

9 Signs a Girl Is a Boy Crazy Trollop

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

signs she's a boy-crazy girlWhen a girl is boy crazy, she can’t get her mind off men. She needs a man – & almost any man might do! Here’s how to spot these girls easily (+ what to do).

How do you tell if a girl you’re talking to is just a regular chick trying to get by in the world… or a love-drunk, boy-crazy trollop? How do you know if she’s with you because you’re great, or because she’s got a hole in her life (or her cooch) to fill and you seem like you could be a fit?

Boy crazy girls are a mixed bag for relationships; they’re also a mixed bag for seduction. At least in terms of pickups and quick flings, these gals can have their pluses; though they also come with downsides. These girls are worth understanding, however, because you will meet a lot of them.

I came across a wonderful article written by a woman who’s had enough with these types of women as friends – these strumpets perpetually in pursuit of men. I’ll quote a few choice bits:

One of my biggest peeves about female friendships are women whose entire lives are centered around men, relationships, crazy situationships, Tinder, and their never ending thirst for low quality males who mistreat, reject, ghost and emotionally abandon them.

There is nothing more unattractive than women whose entire existence revolves around chasing men. Every conversation, every night out, every interaction involves exhausting scenarios of who she is talking to now, what he said to her, who ghosted her, how many males she is seeing this week, and all the emotional disappointments that come with texting with 50 different candidates a month. It is absolutely exhausting to have to listen to women who only have one subject to talk about, men. And then, there are women who disappear the moment they get into a relationship. She takes this male so seriously, that she practically disappears to concentrate on her connection to him. She prioritizes some goon who offered her a getaway, and she acts like she’s already in a serious relationship, when he just needs someone to screw for the weekend. When he stops answering her texts, she’s back acting like my best friend needing some advice, for the 101st time.

Men ghost them, therefore the man is bad. A girlfriend no longer picks up the phone, therefore the friendship was bad. They extract every ounce of a friend’s energy, and they keep coming back expecting me to listen to the latest dating drama, as if this one is different from the last. Nothing ever changes for man crazy women. When they should be getting professional help, they spend that money on a new hairstyle- maybe that will make her more attractive for the next guy.

The full blog article is worth reading (the writer is a very self-aware woman with some delightful perspectives), but these bits give you some idea about what we’ll discuss here.

How do you tell whether the girl you’re chatting up is boy crazy… versus just a regular girl?

And if she is boy crazy, is she worth seducing or dating – or not?

Stranger Sex vs. Relationship Sex: A Sex Talk Gambit

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

intimacy or impulse?Sex with strangers is different from sex within relationships. The distinction isn’t just academic – it’s useful fuel for a seduction, too.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, I want to share my perspective on a gambit that has brought me much success.

In mid-2023, veteran poster Tominho on skilledseducer.com shared a sex talk gambit called “Strangers versus Lovers.” This concept highlights the differences between sexual experiences in a relationship and those with a stranger. His take differs from mine, so if you like what you read below, check out his version as well.

I like this gambit because it accomplishes many things, ranging from the obvious: setting a sexual frame.

This gambit also accomplishes these:

  • Connects with her pacing – You show that you understand her point of view regarding sex. (Most women share the point of view presented in this gambit.)

  • Creates comfort – As you discuss comfort, her comfort increases. (I think my version emphasizes comfort more than Tominho’s, which focuses more on arousal by emphasizing the magic of having sex with a mysterious stranger.)

  • Stimulates her – Tominho’s version emphasizes arousal more, but one can spice up the version I present here, and I do that often, too.

More importantly:

  • Sexual prizing occurs – As you share knowledge about sexual subjects (linked to pacing).

  • You increase frame control – This gambit is great at flipping the script and reframing objections women have about casual sex and why they tend to prefer sex in relationships.

Next, I’ll run through the gambit. This gambit is safe to use and suitable for the early game (but also works great in mid-to-late-game). I will also discuss Tominho’s version, which works better as a mid-to-late-game gambit.

Deleting Girls' Numbers Because They Don't Text Back Is Bad Game

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

should you delete girls' numbers?Guys will tell you “if she flakes or doesn’t reply, delete her number.” Yet girls’ availability always shifts; the veteran playboy knows not to delete her.

A lot of guys, for their own peace of mind, and to head off any needy-chasing behavior in themselves, delete girls’ numbers if they judge a girl too flakey, unresponsive, or rude.

I did it myself as a dating newbie. It can give you a jolt of pride, as if you ‘rejected’ this girl who wasn’t showing sufficient interest in you. It can also stop you wasting time obsessing over girls you’re unlikely to convert.

There is merit to it, to a degree. It does have its place.

Nevertheless, there is no denying that experienced playboys who get laid a lot don’t do this, and that, in the grand scheme of things, it is the result of bad game.

Women's Pre-Sex Approval Is Irrelevant to Getting Sex

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

her approval means nothing for getting her into bedWomen will say they approve of all kinds of things. But if you twist yourself to what women ‘approve’ of, you will never get the girl!

Women approve of a great many things:

  • They approve of nice, kind, self-sacrificial ‘doormat’ men

  • They applaud empowered, career-focused, celibate women

  • They celebrate loose, promiscuous women who leave their families behind

  • They praise obese, ostentatious, fabulously unhealthy women

  • They champion impoverished, uneducated third world migrants

  • They laud men who continue to parent a child they discover is not their own

  • They commend men who accept open relationships at the woman’s behest

The credulous man takes this approval of women’s at face value. He assumes women approve of the things they do because they, themselves, want those kinds of men and experiences in their own lives.

But when the credulous man accepts all these things women show their approval of at face value, and works to bring himself in line with the things women claim to approve of, he discovers something else:

Despite bending to women’s whims, women just do not want him!

There’s another kind of man out there, however; different from the credulous man.

This man never takes the things women say at face value.

This man considers women’s approval irrelevant; he laughs at women’s disapproval; and in the end, he gets the girl, again and again and again.

Classic Sex Talk Gambit: Sex Is Natural

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

talk past her defensesThis basic sex talk gambit is easy to use – and can melt women’s resistance to sex. The way it works: framing sex as something NATURAL.

Hey, guys.

One of my signature techniques is sex talk. I will discuss this topic extensively in the coming weeks, considering its recent rise in popularity on the skilled seducer’s forum.

Sex talk has long been a recognized technique. I have established a reputation in the seduction community thanks to my experience using it.

Since then, I have written numerous posts on the subject, which I’ve compiled in this thread.

STICKIED: Sex Talk Gambits Compilation (And more)

This thread is, in a way, an homage to the sex talk legacy. I realized that one of the initial sex talk gambits did not show up on this list! Some classics, such as the eight types of orgasms (one of my first) as well the gambits in these articles, 3 Sex Talk Gambits So Bold & Explicit They Arouse Girls Instantly and 3 Sex Gambits: Good/Bad Sex, Sex is Unfair, and the Dark Side (especially the sex is unfair gambit) are there, but one classic that has been well-utilized is missing.

It’s time to remedy that. This gambit can remove resistance. It is from 2009, and I was not a master then, but this basic gambit is easy to pull off, safe, and is still efficient.

For the gambit, you may skip ahead to the section “Sex is Natural Gambit.” However, I recommend not doing so as I will share some interesting ideas and history that I think you will enjoy.