Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Using Sex Talk to Set a Sexual Frame with Women: Basics

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

using sex talk to set sexual framesSex talk has become a popular way to sexualize conversations with girls. But arousal is only a bonus: the real purpose of sex talk is to CONTROL the FRAME!

Hi guys. I hope you are doing well.

Today, I would like to revisit the basics. I have noticed a surge in the popularity of my signature technique, sex talk. While I’ve experienced much success, I’ve realized that some intermediate practitioners have gaps in their theoretical understanding of how it works.

Often, they come across certain gambits and repeat them verbatim. Since these are field-tested often, they are known to yield good results, especially when delivered well and supported by strong fundamentals.

However, we all know that things do not always go as planned. Sometimes, we encounter resistance. Some guys may not fully understand how to handle this. They face tests and may be unsure how to respond. The woman might steer the interaction her way, taking control and leaving the seducer outframed. When this happens, the interaction can quickly fall apart.

I will address these issues in the coming weeks, providing details on how to tackle them. All these issues relate to a single aspect: frame setting and frame control.

It boggles my mind. Historically, this community recognized frame control as essential for every seducer to understand. Everyone discussed its importance. These days, however, I seldom see any discussions about this. Most agree that setting and controlling the frame is crucial. Frame control means establishing rules for the interaction, ultimately allowing one to take charge.

Today, we will discuss how sex talk relates to frame control. Once you understand this, you will not only grasp how sex talk works and why it works, but you will also be better equipped to troubleshoot potential roadblocks and, more importantly, know how to overcome them.

So, let’s dive in. This information may be basic for some and new for others. I recommend that both beginners and experienced seducers read on. Naturally, newer practitioners benefit more, but experienced guys can also gain valuable insights. It is easy to forget that sex talk is a framing technique, and a review of how it works can be helpful. Even veterans like me benefit from occasional refreshers.

I covered this subject in my early days at Girls Chase, How to Use Sex Talk to Set a Sexual Tone and Mood, but this post shows a different angle. Read both if you’d like the best possible understanding.

Why Tourists, Freshman, FOBs, and New-in-Town Girls Are So Easy to Pick Up

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how come some girls are so much easier to pick up?Some girls are easier to pick up than others. But why is this so? Why are the high status local girls always harder? There are 4 reasons why.

Commenting on the Skilled Seducer Forum, forum member RisingCane observes:

So many of the guys I have met over the years in the Game community seem to go with women who are rather easy or from a demographic that is easy. Like more than half my wings get with fresh off the boat Asian girls and fresh out the boat Latinas who have lower standards and requirements for men. Put them in an environment full of higher value women who are more popular, prettier, and come from a better background and these guys sink.

A lot of dudes I have met in the PUA and Game community seem to struggle with some of the more popular and prettier girls. I have met some exceptions here and there but by and large, they were rare. A lot of times, it is like the same dude who banged an Asian FOB he matched with off of Tinder cannot get some of the local women with good looks and status to save his life.

This is all true – at least, it is true as RisingCane’s written for the United States.

There are different demographics fitted into similar dynamics in other locales.

But also, in the U.S. and across the world it’s not just fresh-off-the-boat chicks who are easier. It is also:

  • Tourists

  • Vacationers

  • University freshman

  • Girls who are new in town

Hang around seducers enough and you’ll discover many have a seduction diet that heavily includes such girls. When they game local girls, many of them end up picking up lower status girls, too, rather than very high status ones. Why?

It’s due to game requirements needed to get together off of cold approach with women occupying different positions within their communities.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Perpetual Lover Frame

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

the perpetual loverBeing the lover does not end when you seduce a woman into bed with you. Throughout your time with her, you continue to be her lover – the Perpetual Lover.

Recently, a seasoned forum member of ours (and our upcoming Skilled Seducer of the Month) Devilicious suffered a painful breakup with an “absolute 10” for him he’d been seeing.

At one point, as she slept naked face down on their bed, Dev decided to “snap a few pictures of her beautiful body.”

A short while later, peering at his phone, she discovered the pictures, and it triggered complete emotional dissociation in her. She balked; he apologized; deleted the pictures for her; then, she asked him to leave and dumped him.

The girl herself was a codependent. Codependents have triggers that cause them to overreact to romantic situations, both blowing up excessively and disposing of relationships (as this girl did) as well as dropping all their requirements and chasing to get their lover back (as this girl would have, had Dev used the kind of manipulation tactics/gaslighting that works on codependents… fortunately, he’s too healthy to get sucked into that nonsense).

So, while I don’t recommend snapping photos of a sleeping naked chick (really, I recommend you keep as few pictures of women as possible. None, if you can do it. Just see your girls in real life, and if it ends, say farewell and replace them!), this girl’s overreaction was excessive/unhealthy.

Dev’s biggest screwup was not the picture-taking, however. It was that, when challenged on the pictures he took of her, he did not hold frame.

In particular, he should have held the frame he had originally when he took those photos – that of the lover.

Dating for Autistic Men: The Ultimate Guide

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating and relationships as an autistic manDating is rough for autistic men. Yet, approaching it methodically, focusing on building the right habits, their romantic challenges can be whittled down.

As the founder of the highest traffic men’s dating advice website in history, I’ve fielded comments, questions, and laments from men on the autism spectrum for decades.

I’ve seen many success stories among students of the game who are also on the spectrum. I also have a pretty firm grasp at this point of what the limitations are for such men.

If you’re new to Girls Chase and don’t know who I am, I am a ‘neurotypical’ dating & relationship expert whose stock in trade is breaking down complex social and romantic concepts into their essences. My approach is relentless practicality and understandability in what I teach; to take concepts I and other Don Juans understand at an intuitive level, and break them down them in simple terms accessible to beginners. Due to the nature of my insights and analyses, this site has proven popular with men on the autism spectrum over time.

That said, I realize there are a lot of trained specialists out there who work dedicatedly with men on the autistic spectrum.

I am not an ‘autism specialist’. If part of your requirement for accepting advice is that the advice giver come through an institutional credentialing program, close this page now and contact your nearest autism specialist for a consultation instead.

If, however, you’d like a pathway forward for you in dating, despite the struggles that come from being on the autism spectrum, read on.

Verbal Seduction Gambits: "Who Likes Sex More, Men or Women?"

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sex talk gambits: who likes sex more, men or women?Rope women in with two very different seduction gambits that ask “who likes sex more, men or women?” One of these is bold… but the other is light as air.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Now that we are discussing sex talk, I’d like to share two fun gambits that are both stimulating and light.

These are simple to pull off and have the same theme: Who likes sex more, men or women? However, both gambits are very different. This shows how we can use one theme to set different frames.

Both gambits can set a sexual frame and get the conversation going about sex. Both gambits are easy and fun to use and are good tools for stimulating her mentally and sexually. Despite talking about the same theme, they both serve different purposes. The first gambit is light and not too explicit, so it’s ideal for early game but is still beneficial later. This one can pace her reality and show that you understand her world when it comes to sex. It also frames yourself as nonjudgmental and, more importantly, sets sex-positive frames, which can help you dodge potential resistance later.

The other version is more about sexual prizing. This gambit conveys a great understanding of sex and female sexuality and shows girls that you are sexually experienced and a good lover. It is more explicit, so it may sexually stimulate her. It’s ideal for mid-to-late game, but you may use it earlier if the situation allows and you know what you are doing.

These are not complex gambits. They are simplified to work on most women, whether highly educated or less mature.

I will share two variations; one focuses on the socio-sexual aspects, which is lighter, and the other focuses on female understanding and is more explicit, discussing sex and orgasms.

Showing Interest Without Chasing: Use High Points!

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

don't chase! Showing interest on high pointsMen often make chase by showing interest women have not ‘earned’. If you do not want to chase, tie your interest-showing to her giving HIGH POINTS!

What do all these questions, asked of a woman you’ve recently met, have in common?

  • “Are you single?”

  • “How old are you?”

  • “Do you have a boyfriend?”

  • “Would you like to hang out?”

The answer is all these questions show interest in the girl.

Depending on how far along you are with her, and what type of game you’re running, you may even be showing more interest than she is ready for yet.

That’s because when you show too much interest in a girl unearned, it gives her the feeling that you are much more interested in her than she is in you – and it (very often) brings your seduction of her to a close.

Rather than ‘jump the gun’ by asking these questions too soon, we’re going to do something else: we’re going to save these questions for high points.

Dealing with Social Friction, Part 3: Adjusting for Friction

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

friction adjustmentsSocial friction is everywhere in your conversations and seductions. But how do you adapt when you encounter it? That depends on the level of friction – plus where it comes from.

In almost every social or romantic interaction you’ll have, you will encounter social friction. Social friction is our catch-all concept for anything and everything that rises up to impede your social objectives. All these count as ‘friction’:

In Part 1 of my series on social friction, we fleshed out exactly what social friction is and how it affects your socializing and seduction.

In Part 2, we discussed reevaluating your situation with the help of the 3 Rs: Recognize, Remove, and Reassess. Rather than get trapped in a deteriorating situation, with the 3 Rs you can evaluate in real time whether to stick with the plan or make a change of plans.

Today, we’ll discuss how to adjust in the face of social friction. We’ll cover everything from minor adjustments to your plan, to the necessity of having a bailout plan – no matter what you’re doing.

Best Way to Improve with Girls TODAY: Write Field Reports!

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

improve with girls faster by writing field reportsIf you want to get better at picking up girls, dating girls, and sleeping with girls, there is NO BETTER TOOL at your disposal than writing field reports.

This post by Hector Castillo originally appeared on our forum here.

It's been officially 6 years since I've joined this forum. I recently re-reposted my first ever LR (and post on the forum).

What I remembered from reading this report and a few others on the boards right now, is that there is almost NOTHING that makes you better with women quicker than field reports.

It's almost as good as coaching... almost 😀

On the "Women Insult & Shame Men Who Approach Them" Mass Hysteria

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

anti-approaching mass hysteriaMany men in the 2020s are terrified to approach women. They’re paralyzed with fear a girl might shame or insult them. These fears are a male mass hysteria.

Mass hysteria has gripped the minds of millions of Western men as of the mid-2020s. These men are not just hesitant to approach women – they’re terrified of it.

And while approach anxiety has always had at its root overblown fears and paranoia, the latest variant is so wildly inflamed it can’t be called anything other than a mass hysteria.

This modern anti-approaching hysteria goes something like this:

“You’d have to be a fool to approach a woman in the modern age! Women have become so hostile to men approaching them that it’s not worth the risk of being shamed online or charged with harassment. Anyone trying to get men to approach women in this environment is an enemy of men.”

Like other moral panics, those caught up in the hysteria live in self-reinforcing bubbles. Inside these bubbles they repeat their claims and egg on one another’s panic. They seize upon the slimmest proof to reinforce their hysterias, and dismiss all evidence to the contrary.

Feeling threatened and cornered, a purity spiral has taken hold of these men. Anyone who argues against their belief in the vast, lurking, insidious dangers of approaching a woman is cast out as “not with us but against us”, an agent of evil who seeks only to do harm to these pathetic hysterics.

Interacting with them online, I’ve found myself a frequent target of their hostility. It’s obvious they live in a different reality. I and all the other playboys I know, as well as all the beginner playboys in our community and our forum, can walk outside right now and approach as many women as we want without encountering a shred of the hostility or shaming the hysterical men claim lurks just behind every deceptively cute girl.

Average, ordinary, non-super-good-looking-or-rich-or-high-status men all across the United States, Europe, and the rest of the world are approaching multiples of women every day and do not run into any of this behavior the hysterics claim ubiquitous.

What’s caused this hysteria to grip the minds of so many millions of self-isolating modern men?

Why, despite the free online availability of materials on how to approach girls, have men become ever more inward-looking, more fearful of an approach than ever?

And might there be something to these men’s beliefs?

RELATED: Why Are 21st Century Men So Apathetic and Unmotivated?

why are men so apatheticTurn off the screens, shut out the Matrix, and recall the blood of pioneers, conquerors, nobles, and kings that flows through you.

Using Negativity When Sex Talking to Girls (Can It Work?)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

negativity that attractsNegativity done right can make for engaging conversation – but it’s also potentially loaded and risks putting women off. Here’s how to use it right.

Hey guys. In the upcoming weeks, I will focus on sex talk. This is my signature technique, which many of our advanced readers appreciate. I will share updated insights along with the latest techniques and tools for calibration.

A poster on the Skilled Seducer Forum mentioned some time ago that he struggles with using sex talk. He seems relatively new to it, and it is not a beginner-friendly technique. There are several interesting factors to consider regarding his question.

Here’s what he says.

None of the Sexual Gambits Work

Whenever I use sex talk, it seems to make girls angry and defensive rather than aroused. This is what I usually do. I need to transition into sex talk somehow, so I use anger:

"You know what REALLY frustrated me a while back? I was arguing with a friend about who has it easier, men or women. And he made me mad because he said women!"

Then I show my prizable traits with more frustrated talk:

"…Women have it way harder! To find a guy who can stimulate you both physically and mentally, who can make you feel safe yet desired...that's difficult! Ugh, I really do hate this!"

I say that non-sarcastically, of course. My thought process: It seems like I’m venting, but, in fact, I’m showing prizable traits.

"And how difficult it is to find a guy who can show desire but also control himself. That is what's terrible about being a woman! You can’t find really good men easily, and I HATE that. I feel sorry for all the women out there.

Some women don’t know what they like or what they want. As you know, to arouse a guy, you touch him in that one place, but to arouse a woman, you touch her everywhere else but there. And women need an experienced guy to show them this. It must be terrible looking for such a guy and always being disappointed, ugh."

So, I vent away, expecting heaps of attraction and arousal. However, women usually respond poorly. They argue with anything I say. Or they say they don’t have an opinion and change the topic.

They seem irritated instead of aroused. Am I doing something wrong, or are all the gambits just bad?

(See None of the Sexual Gambits Work)

Before you jump to the conclusion that the person asking this is a noob or frustrated, which may or may not be true, the fact remains that many of my gambits do play around with some negative emotions, such as:

  • Objectification (discussing sexual objectification of women, then presenting a theory of sexual subjectification)

And these are just a few. They all have a negative underlying connotation. After all, frustration is undesirable, and so is objectification.

The question is straightforward: Does using negativity or referring to negative experiences or states, such as frustration, truly work to transition into sex talk? More specifically, is the OP’s approach successful in practice? And if it is, how do you transition from there?