Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Approaching Lots of Girls WITHOUT Burning Out

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

cold approach burnoutCold approach is a numbers game. But rejection is exhausting. How do you put the approach numbers in WITHOUT burning out? These 3 steps are the way.

Commenting on my article about dating for autistic men (where I remarked how autistic guys often become ‘approach machines’ who chew through hundreds/thousands of approaches with little to show for it), Sub-Zero asks

I’m just wondering if it takes hundreds to thousands of approaches to get a lay or a few, how are guys still going after getting rejected so much?

If I approached 20 women during day game and couldn’t get a lay, I’d be discouraged. If I did get a lay, but I had to approach 20 more to get another, I’d probably get lazy and take what I can get. So, how are guys getting a lot of lays with all these approaches it seems like you have to focus a lot on doing this, when are you free to do other things?

I think I’ve been misunderstanding cold approaching numbers.

All right, so first off, most men are not autistic. Most guys are not going to need to do hundreds (or God forbid thousands) of approaches to get a single lay off of cold approach.

That said, cold approach is not social circle game. It is going up to talk to strangers to find out who’s available, attracted, and receptive to your game. Many girls you approach won’t be any of those, or maybe some but not all of those.

For this reason, it is and always will be a numbers game.

Like anything that is a numbers game, most guys will try it out, try grinding for a bit, not get much back for their results, and burn out on it.

Getting good at cold approach requires a man to make it past that initial ‘heavy grinding burnout phase’ that serves as a major filter to cold approach success.

Let’s talk about how to do that and avoid taking a walk down cold approach’s ‘wash out lane’.

Defusing Vibe Bombs: When Girls React Poorly to Your Approach

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

defusing vibe bombsSometimes when you approach women, they react poorly. These are VIBE BOMBS – bombs that decrease the vibe. Defuse these bombs, and you can get the girl.

This post by Cody Lyans originally appeared on our forum here.

Totally random title but it is the way I pre-approach girls if I intend to go in HOT.

So what is a vibe bomb?

Sexual Trust and Comfort Gambit: Diachronic Comfort

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

diachronic comfort: a sexual comfort gambitYou need trust to get new women into bed. Many men try to build trust once, quickly, and move on. With this gambit, you’ll build deeper trust – over time.

Hey guys. Welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.

Today, I want to share a comfort gambit that utilizes listing, a technique we discussed over the past two weeks (see the rest of my series on using listing during sex talk). We talked about how to use listing as a tool for frame control and addressing potential tests you may receive from women when discussing sex. Last week, I provided examples of how to use this technique to build comfort.

I will continue with what we did last week. I will use listing as the main concept to set the frames of trust and comfort throughout the gambit.

This gambit is called the diachronic sex gambit. Do not be intimidated by the word diachronic. It simply means “through time,” and knowledge of the word is not necessary for using it.

It is an easy gambit to understand and use.

I have many versions, but today, we will focus on one that focuses on building sexual trust and comfort.

Before delving into the gambit, I’d like to expand on the analysis from last week regarding the importance of sexual trust and comfort.

I try to create hybrid gambit posts by covering theory while sharing techniques. This provides a “two in one package” so that you have both theory and tools. However, sex talk is the verbalization of a theory about male-to-female interactions, sexology, and sexual sociology. Thus, my theoretical analysis is not unwarranted. It is essential to understand what goes on behind the technique.

Love Like It's Temporary (Because It Might Be)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

love like it's temporaryRelationships sometimes end, sometimes don’t. But if you want the best odds for yours, learn to love like it’s temporary – because it just might be.

Every single day, 6,600 people around the world divorce.

Tens of thousands more unmarried couples break up.

Many of those split-apart people never planned to end their relationships. Some thought they’d never leave their partners. But things ended, and they did.

When things end, people turn bitter – and spread that bitterness around.

Online, red pill men burned by breakup and divorce claim “marriage is a game rigged against men.” They call marriage a way to “lose half your money, your kids, and your freedom.” They console each other that “she was never yours; it was just your turn.”

Meanwhile, female dating strategy women burned by breakup and divorce claim “marriage is a financial risk for women.” They say “divorce rape is a myth – women usually end up poorer.” They console each other that “men use women until something better comes along.”

The shock, pain, and disruption of the end of an in-love relationship is enough to turn many people from hopeful naïfs to hardened curmudgeons.

Yet once someone grows bitter, life takes a sharp southward turn.

READ MORE: Most Important Thing to Becoming a Lover of Women? Don't Be Bitter.

TEXTDon’t let bitterness blacken your heart.

How do you manage to love, bond, and have relationships in the full knowledge that things might well end? Is it possible for a realist to avoid the bitter cynicism of the burned?

How do you hold two equally opposite ideas in mind: “I love someone very much” and “Someday this might end”?

The only way to mix reality with trust and hope is through enlightened romantic philosophy. Such a philosophy removes the stress and suspicion the jaded feel, without putting on the blinders the naïve wear. That philosophy is this:

Love like it’s temporary – because it just might be.

Tactics Tuesdays: Ignore, Exhibit, Re-Attract

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

ignore, exhibit, re-attractA girl gets the wrong impression about you, and her mood toward you changes. How do you fix it? Simple enough: with Ignore, Exhibit, Re-Attract.

Imagine you’re in this scenario:

You’re being your regular cool self, but for whatever reason you slip up and say something rude.

You thought you were being funny but you ended up telling a girl she looks like a dork in that getup she has on, and she takes it personally and auto-rejects you, turning cold and offended.

You could try to use the auto-rejection turnaround technique, and that might work. But maybe she’s so offended she won’t even give you the chance to.

There’s another approach you can take. It’s more indirect, and it requires a consistent social environment (so it’s not usually going to work in, say, daytime cold approach, or nighttime street game) – but if you pull it off, it can bring back girls who’d decided they didn’t want anything to do with you at all.

Note: this is a firefighting tactic that is mostly only practical for intermediate seducers and higher. Due to the nature of the tactic, the higher your seduction skill level, the more effective this tactic will be; the less skilled you are, the less likely it is to succeed. We’ll look at why toward the end of the article, but for now, let’s talk tactics.

7 Messages to Send Every Girl You Match With

Guest Contributor's picture

By: Guest Contributor

7 messages to send girls you match withWhat should you send a girl you match with online? These 7 key messages make all the difference — turning matches into dates & lovers.

Just like cold approach, texting is a skill you can refine over time. With practice, you can become so proficient that you won’t even need to go on dates—girls will come straight to your place for sex. (If you want more details on that, check out this example of how an average guy got laid.)

Similar to cold approach, I’m not a fan of being overly scripted. That’s why, despite receiving numerous requests, I never put together a rigid texting sequence. That said, I’ve found a few messages that work really well. Use these in your texting game, and you’ll be way ahead of the competition.

Sexual Comfort Gambit: Listing

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sexual comfort is the moveWomen today aren’t worried about being “sluts” — they’re worried about being COMFORTABLE. So how do you get girls sexually comfortable with you? One way is via LISTING.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week, I discussed the concept of frame control and how to use listing as a strategy to tackle tests that may arise when discussing sexual topics. Common questions include: “Why are you telling me this?”, “Why are you talking about sex?” or “Do you always talk about sex?” I explained that providing a list of reasons for why you are saying or doing something can be very effective. Outlining the benefits and explaining why it is generally well-received can help make your perspective (and frame) one she should agree with. This technique is a classic form of persuasion commonly used in sales.

Today, I will expand on this, demonstrating how to apply it in sexual comfort gambits. For an example, see the narrative gambit at Pickup and Seduction Gambit: Narratives and to some extent, the diachronic sex gambit that I will share next week.

Because this concept is intuitive, easy to execute, and, most importantly, highly efficient, I took time to reflect on it and developed some new gambits. These will help better illustrate this technique.

The primary purpose of a gambit has always been to provide an example of how to apply specific techniques via a theme to set frames and elicit emotions. This gambit is no different: you can phrase it however you like, tweak it, and experiment to make it your own.

7 Ways to Make Sure She Shows Up for Her Date with You

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

raising girls' show-up rates on datesGirls don’t show up to dates they don’t feel motivated enough to show up for. Use these 7 ways to raise women’s desire to show up for their dates with you.

You meet a girl, have a nice conversation, and ask her out.

She says “yes!” Fantastic!

But just because you’ve got her contact and an appointment to meet doesn’t mean she’ll show up. What can you do to make sure she shows up for her date with you?

In this guide, I’ll lay out five (5) recommended steps for ensuring girls show up to their dates with you – plus two more optional steps you can take.

Follow the guide, and your “date show-up rate” will go higher than that of anyone else you know.

Tactics Tuesdays: Calibrating the Opener to Your State

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

calibrating opener to stateDifferent openers get (very) different receptions from girls depending on YOUR internal state. Calibrate the opener you choose to your state & open better.

There’s an important factor in the way that you open conversations with new women that few men seem to consider:

Namely, the way your state affects the delivery – and thus reception – of your opener.

Imagine two otherwise identical men:

MAN A: approaches a beautiful girl in a red dress, and somewhat timidly tells her, “Hi… I just have to say you look really beautiful.” It’s clear from his behavior that he is waiting and hoping for a good reception from her. She is going to feel like he is kissing up to her, paying her a compliment in the hopes of her throwing a bone to him.

MAN B: approaches a beautiful girl in a yellow dress, and confidently/authoritatively tells her, “Hey. That dress looks amazing on you. Good choice.” It’s clear from his vibe that he is simply commenting on something he likes, and doesn’t really care how she will react. She is going to feel like he is passing manly judgment on her, and is going to feel a need to reciprocate or find another way to gracefully share power with him because he just positioned himself as the approver over her.

While these two men might look the same, and the women they approach look similar, and their openers have very similar words, the change in the delivery of the opener creates a completely different frame at the open.

It is very hard to consciously switch from a timid, approach anxious state (like Man A’s) to a confident, authoritative state (like Man B’s). Few men are capable of doing it on command. I can do it; but I’ve also spent years meditating and consciously state changing, and have enough reference points dealing with women authoritatively that I know exactly what it feels like and how to make myself switch to that from a different state.

For practical purposes, I am going to assume that (like most guys) this is not something you can simply do.

So what CAN you do?

Simple: rather than try to force openers that are not going to work in your current state, you are going to choose openers based upon the state you’re in right now.

Opening Nurses: A Gambit for Approaching Women Wearing Scrubs

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

how to open nursesNurses are some of the most fun, sexually open-minded girls you’ll find. StrayDog shares the opener he uses to strike up seductive conversations with them.

This post by StrayDog originally appeared on our forum here.

Alright guys, we're back with another field tested opener that has consistent results. This time it's a little more niche. Nurses!

It is quite common that you will see a fine-looking nurse doing a bit of pre/post work shopping, wearing her scrubs. Sometimes it’s just the shirt or just the pants, so be on the lookout ‘cause the opportunity is still there.

Now, if any of you have spent time with a nurse when she's off the clock, you know that these ladies are a joy to be around. Might as well approach her and see what you two can get into.