Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Sex doesn’t begin in the bedroom. It starts long before. That’s what you’ll tell girls in the Diachronic Sex Gambit — and get them imagining themselves in bed with you soon after.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I have been sharing some gambits about the concept of listing. It is a powerful tool for setting and controlling the frame of a conversation. When talking to a woman, you can use listing by providing several reasons for a particular point, which can help her accept the frame. This technique is straightforward. Advertisements frequently employ listing techniques both online and in television commercials.

The examples I provided in my two latest posts demonstrate how listing works in the field, and I hope the examples in this post will do the same.

Even though listing is intuitive, the hard part is to pull it off correctly, ensuring that each dimension you list seems persuasive and desirable to her.

It’s not really about convincing and being correct, as in political debate. It is about making the girl think, “Damn, he gets it; I like this.” If you use a defensive tone and get into an argumentative state, you have lost the seduction, and the conversation will turn into a debate. If you ever get there, pace and lead her elsewhere and change the subject by fractionating out.

Today, we will go through a gambit using the same template. It has a similar theme to last week, but instead of focusing on sexual comfort, we will focus on arousal and sexual prizing by conveying that you are a good lover with great skills, experience, and knowledge.

Cold approach is a numbers game. But rejection is exhausting. How do you put the approach numbers in WITHOUT burning out? These 3 steps are the way.

Commenting on my article about dating for autistic men (where I remarked how autistic guys often become ‘approach machines’ who chew through hundreds/thousands of approaches with little to show for it), Sub-Zero asks

I’m just wondering if it takes hundreds to thousands of approaches to get a lay or a few, how are guys still going after getting rejected so much?

If I approached 20 women during day game and couldn’t get a lay, I’d be discouraged. If I did get a lay, but I had to approach 20 more to get another, I’d probably get lazy and take what I can get. So, how are guys getting a lot of lays with all these approaches it seems like you have to focus a lot on doing this, when are you free to do other things?

I think I’ve been misunderstanding cold approaching numbers.

All right, so first off, most men are not autistic. Most guys are not going to need to do hundreds (or God forbid thousands) of approaches to get a single lay off of cold approach.

That said, cold approach is not social circle game. It is going up to talk to strangers to find out who’s available, attracted, and receptive to your game. Many girls you approach won’t be any of those, or maybe some but not all of those.

For this reason, it is and always will be a numbers game.

Like anything that is a numbers game, most guys will try it out, try grinding for a bit, not get much back for their results, and burn out on it.

Getting good at cold approach requires a man to make it past that initial ‘heavy grinding burnout phase’ that serves as a major filter to cold approach success.

Let’s talk about how to do that and avoid taking a walk down cold approach’s ‘wash out lane’.