Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tactics Tuesdays: The Perpetual Lover Frame

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

the perpetual loverBeing the lover does not end when you seduce a woman into bed with you. Throughout your time with her, you continue to be her lover – the Perpetual Lover.

Recently, a seasoned forum member of ours (and our upcoming Skilled Seducer of the Month) Devilicious suffered a painful breakup with an “absolute 10” for him he’d been seeing.

At one point, as she slept naked face down on their bed, Dev decided to “snap a few pictures of her beautiful body.”

A short while later, peering at his phone, she discovered the pictures, and it triggered complete emotional dissociation in her. She balked; he apologized; deleted the pictures for her; then, she asked him to leave and dumped him.

The girl herself was a codependent. Codependents have triggers that cause them to overreact to romantic situations, both blowing up excessively and disposing of relationships (as this girl did) as well as dropping all their requirements and chasing to get their lover back (as this girl would have, had Dev used the kind of manipulation tactics/gaslighting that works on codependents… fortunately, he’s too healthy to get sucked into that nonsense).

So, while I don’t recommend snapping photos of a sleeping naked chick (really, I recommend you keep as few pictures of women as possible. None, if you can do it. Just see your girls in real life, and if it ends, say farewell and replace them!), this girl’s overreaction was excessive/unhealthy.

Dev’s biggest screwup was not the picture-taking, however. It was that, when challenged on the pictures he took of her, he did not hold frame.

In particular, he should have held the frame he had originally when he took those photos – that of the lover.

Dating for Autistic Men: The Ultimate Guide

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating and relationships as an autistic manDating is rough for autistic men. Yet, approaching it methodically, focusing on building the right habits, their romantic challenges can be whittled down.

As the founder of the highest traffic men’s dating advice website in history, I’ve fielded comments, questions, and laments from men on the autism spectrum for decades.

I’ve seen many success stories among students of the game who are also on the spectrum. I also have a pretty firm grasp at this point of what the limitations are for such men.

If you’re new to Girls Chase and don’t know who I am, I am a ‘neurotypical’ dating & relationship expert whose stock in trade is breaking down complex social and romantic concepts into their essences. My approach is relentless practicality and understandability in what I teach; to take concepts I and other Don Juans understand at an intuitive level, and break them down them in simple terms accessible to beginners. Due to the nature of my insights and analyses, this site has proven popular with men on the autism spectrum over time.

That said, I realize there are a lot of trained specialists out there who work dedicatedly with men on the autistic spectrum.

I am not an ‘autism specialist’. If part of your requirement for accepting advice is that the advice giver come through an institutional credentialing program, close this page now and contact your nearest autism specialist for a consultation instead.

If, however, you’d like a pathway forward for you in dating, despite the struggles that come from being on the autism spectrum, read on.

Verbal Seduction Gambits: "Who Likes Sex More, Men or Women?"

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sex talk gambits: who likes sex more, men or women?Rope women in with two very different seduction gambits that ask “who likes sex more, men or women?” One of these is bold… but the other is light as air.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Now that we are discussing sex talk, I’d like to share two fun gambits that are both stimulating and light.

These are simple to pull off and have the same theme: Who likes sex more, men or women? However, both gambits are very different. This shows how we can use one theme to set different frames.

Both gambits can set a sexual frame and get the conversation going about sex. Both gambits are easy and fun to use and are good tools for stimulating her mentally and sexually. Despite talking about the same theme, they both serve different purposes. The first gambit is light and not too explicit, so it’s ideal for early game but is still beneficial later. This one can pace her reality and show that you understand her world when it comes to sex. It also frames yourself as nonjudgmental and, more importantly, sets sex-positive frames, which can help you dodge potential resistance later.

The other version is more about sexual prizing. This gambit conveys a great understanding of sex and female sexuality and shows girls that you are sexually experienced and a good lover. It is more explicit, so it may sexually stimulate her. It’s ideal for mid-to-late game, but you may use it earlier if the situation allows and you know what you are doing.

These are not complex gambits. They are simplified to work on most women, whether highly educated or less mature.

I will share two variations; one focuses on the socio-sexual aspects, which is lighter, and the other focuses on female understanding and is more explicit, discussing sex and orgasms.

Showing Interest Without Chasing: Use High Points!

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

don't chase! Showing interest on high pointsMen often make chase by showing interest women have not ‘earned’. If you do not want to chase, tie your interest-showing to her giving HIGH POINTS!

What do all these questions, asked of a woman you’ve recently met, have in common?

  • “Are you single?”

  • “How old are you?”

  • “Do you have a boyfriend?”

  • “Would you like to hang out?”

The answer is all these questions show interest in the girl.

Depending on how far along you are with her, and what type of game you’re running, you may even be showing more interest than she is ready for yet.

That’s because when you show too much interest in a girl unearned, it gives her the feeling that you are much more interested in her than she is in you – and it (very often) brings your seduction of her to a close.

Rather than ‘jump the gun’ by asking these questions too soon, we’re going to do something else: we’re going to save these questions for high points.

Dealing with Social Friction, Part 3: Adjusting for Friction

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

friction adjustmentsSocial friction is everywhere in your conversations and seductions. But how do you adapt when you encounter it? That depends on the level of friction – plus where it comes from.

In almost every social or romantic interaction you’ll have, you will encounter social friction. Social friction is our catch-all concept for anything and everything that rises up to impede your social objectives. All these count as ‘friction’:

In Part 1 of my series on social friction, we fleshed out exactly what social friction is and how it affects your socializing and seduction.

In Part 2, we discussed reevaluating your situation with the help of the 3 Rs: Recognize, Remove, and Reassess. Rather than get trapped in a deteriorating situation, with the 3 Rs you can evaluate in real time whether to stick with the plan or make a change of plans.

Today, we’ll discuss how to adjust in the face of social friction. We’ll cover everything from minor adjustments to your plan, to the necessity of having a bailout plan – no matter what you’re doing.

Best Way to Improve with Girls TODAY: Write Field Reports!

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

improve with girls faster by writing field reportsIf you want to get better at picking up girls, dating girls, and sleeping with girls, there is NO BETTER TOOL at your disposal than writing field reports.

This post by Hector Castillo originally appeared on our forum here.

It's been officially 6 years since I've joined this forum. I recently re-reposted my first ever LR (and post on the forum).

What I remembered from reading this report and a few others on the boards right now, is that there is almost NOTHING that makes you better with women quicker than field reports.

It's almost as good as coaching... almost 😀

On the "Women Insult & Shame Men Who Approach Them" Mass Hysteria

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

anti-approaching mass hysteriaMany men in the 2020s are terrified to approach women. They’re paralyzed with fear a girl might shame or insult them. These fears are a male mass hysteria.

Mass hysteria has gripped the minds of millions of Western men as of the mid-2020s. These men are not just hesitant to approach women – they’re terrified of it.

And while approach anxiety has always had at its root overblown fears and paranoia, the latest variant is so wildly inflamed it can’t be called anything other than a mass hysteria.

This modern anti-approaching hysteria goes something like this:

“You’d have to be a fool to approach a woman in the modern age! Women have become so hostile to men approaching them that it’s not worth the risk of being shamed online or charged with harassment. Anyone trying to get men to approach women in this environment is an enemy of men.”

Like other moral panics, those caught up in the hysteria live in self-reinforcing bubbles. Inside these bubbles they repeat their claims and egg on one another’s panic. They seize upon the slimmest proof to reinforce their hysterias, and dismiss all evidence to the contrary.

Feeling threatened and cornered, a purity spiral has taken hold of these men. Anyone who argues against their belief in the vast, lurking, insidious dangers of approaching a woman is cast out as “not with us but against us”, an agent of evil who seeks only to do harm to these pathetic hysterics.

Interacting with them online, I’ve found myself a frequent target of their hostility. It’s obvious they live in a different reality. I and all the other playboys I know, as well as all the beginner playboys in our community and our forum, can walk outside right now and approach as many women as we want without encountering a shred of the hostility or shaming the hysterical men claim lurks just behind every deceptively cute girl.

Average, ordinary, non-super-good-looking-or-rich-or-high-status men all across the United States, Europe, and the rest of the world are approaching multiples of women every day and do not run into any of this behavior the hysterics claim ubiquitous.

What’s caused this hysteria to grip the minds of so many millions of self-isolating modern men?

Why, despite the free online availability of materials on how to approach girls, have men become ever more inward-looking, more fearful of an approach than ever?

And might there be something to these men’s beliefs?

RELATED: Why Are 21st Century Men So Apathetic and Unmotivated?

why are men so apatheticTurn off the screens, shut out the Matrix, and recall the blood of pioneers, conquerors, nobles, and kings that flows through you.

Using Negativity When Sex Talking to Girls (Can It Work?)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

negativity that attractsNegativity done right can make for engaging conversation – but it’s also potentially loaded and risks putting women off. Here’s how to use it right.

Hey guys. In the upcoming weeks, I will focus on sex talk. This is my signature technique, which many of our advanced readers appreciate. I will share updated insights along with the latest techniques and tools for calibration.

A poster on the Skilled Seducer Forum mentioned some time ago that he struggles with using sex talk. He seems relatively new to it, and it is not a beginner-friendly technique. There are several interesting factors to consider regarding his question.

Here’s what he says.

None of the Sexual Gambits Work

Whenever I use sex talk, it seems to make girls angry and defensive rather than aroused. This is what I usually do. I need to transition into sex talk somehow, so I use anger:

"You know what REALLY frustrated me a while back? I was arguing with a friend about who has it easier, men or women. And he made me mad because he said women!"

Then I show my prizable traits with more frustrated talk:

"…Women have it way harder! To find a guy who can stimulate you both physically and mentally, who can make you feel safe yet desired...that's difficult! Ugh, I really do hate this!"

I say that non-sarcastically, of course. My thought process: It seems like I’m venting, but, in fact, I’m showing prizable traits.

"And how difficult it is to find a guy who can show desire but also control himself. That is what's terrible about being a woman! You can’t find really good men easily, and I HATE that. I feel sorry for all the women out there.

Some women don’t know what they like or what they want. As you know, to arouse a guy, you touch him in that one place, but to arouse a woman, you touch her everywhere else but there. And women need an experienced guy to show them this. It must be terrible looking for such a guy and always being disappointed, ugh."

So, I vent away, expecting heaps of attraction and arousal. However, women usually respond poorly. They argue with anything I say. Or they say they don’t have an opinion and change the topic.

They seem irritated instead of aroused. Am I doing something wrong, or are all the gambits just bad?

(See None of the Sexual Gambits Work)

Before you jump to the conclusion that the person asking this is a noob or frustrated, which may or may not be true, the fact remains that many of my gambits do play around with some negative emotions, such as:

  • Objectification (discussing sexual objectification of women, then presenting a theory of sexual subjectification)

And these are just a few. They all have a negative underlying connotation. After all, frustration is undesirable, and so is objectification.

The question is straightforward: Does using negativity or referring to negative experiences or states, such as frustration, truly work to transition into sex talk? More specifically, is the OP’s approach successful in practice? And if it is, how do you transition from there?

Different Girls' Different Reactions to Being Cold Approached

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

why women respond how they do to cold approachDifferent women respond differently to cold approach. Some are nice, some are haughty – and the reasons for the differences vary from girl to girl.

Different Girls' Different Reactions to Being Cold Approached

Different women respond differently to cold approach. Some are nice, some are haughty – and the reasons for the differences vary from girl to girl.

I shared a video on X the other day of a girl talking about how grateful she is to guys who still cold approach, plus how surprised she was at a woman she complimented being closed and aloof to her.

It raises an interesting point we don’t talk about quite enough in my opinion: why are women’s reactions to cold approach so vastly different?

Any guy who’s in the field knows how variable cold approach reactions can be.

Unless you’re doing something very wrong (or very right), most women won’t be openly hostile or wildly exuberant. But within that range in the middle between the poles, there’s a great deal of variation.

You’re the same guy, approaching the same way… but some girls just react very differently to you than others do. Wherefore should this be so?

9 Signs a Girl Is a Boy Crazy Trollop

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

signs she's a boy-crazy girlWhen a girl is boy crazy, she can’t get her mind off men. She needs a man – & almost any man might do! Here’s how to spot these girls easily (+ what to do).

How do you tell if a girl you’re talking to is just a regular chick trying to get by in the world… or a love-drunk, boy-crazy trollop? How do you know if she’s with you because you’re great, or because she’s got a hole in her life (or her cooch) to fill and you seem like you could be a fit?

Boy crazy girls are a mixed bag for relationships; they’re also a mixed bag for seduction. At least in terms of pickups and quick flings, these gals can have their pluses; though they also come with downsides. These girls are worth understanding, however, because you will meet a lot of them.

I came across a wonderful article written by a woman who’s had enough with these types of women as friends – these strumpets perpetually in pursuit of men. I’ll quote a few choice bits:

One of my biggest peeves about female friendships are women whose entire lives are centered around men, relationships, crazy situationships, Tinder, and their never ending thirst for low quality males who mistreat, reject, ghost and emotionally abandon them.

There is nothing more unattractive than women whose entire existence revolves around chasing men. Every conversation, every night out, every interaction involves exhausting scenarios of who she is talking to now, what he said to her, who ghosted her, how many males she is seeing this week, and all the emotional disappointments that come with texting with 50 different candidates a month. It is absolutely exhausting to have to listen to women who only have one subject to talk about, men. And then, there are women who disappear the moment they get into a relationship. She takes this male so seriously, that she practically disappears to concentrate on her connection to him. She prioritizes some goon who offered her a getaway, and she acts like she’s already in a serious relationship, when he just needs someone to screw for the weekend. When he stops answering her texts, she’s back acting like my best friend needing some advice, for the 101st time.

Men ghost them, therefore the man is bad. A girlfriend no longer picks up the phone, therefore the friendship was bad. They extract every ounce of a friend’s energy, and they keep coming back expecting me to listen to the latest dating drama, as if this one is different from the last. Nothing ever changes for man crazy women. When they should be getting professional help, they spend that money on a new hairstyle- maybe that will make her more attractive for the next guy.

The full blog article is worth reading (the writer is a very self-aware woman with some delightful perspectives), but these bits give you some idea about what we’ll discuss here.

How do you tell whether the girl you’re chatting up is boy crazy… versus just a regular girl?

And if she is boy crazy, is she worth seducing or dating – or not?