Articles by Peter Fontes | Girls Chase

Articles by Peter Fontes

Brain Hacks: Meditation for the Stressed and Busy

Meditation: you’ve probably heard a bit about it.

It’s a mind-bendingly powerful activity, with benefits of stress reduction, clarity of vision and focus, and even increased (sometimes dramatically so) levels of happiness. It’s key to successful visualization, and once you’re good at it you gain a degree of conscious control over your thoughts and feelings that all but eradicates things like depression and anxiety.

But if you’re anything like me before I learned something of meditation, the wall of information greeting you at your first foray into the topic is a major obstacle to getting started.

meditation

I would ask myself, “What should I learn about? What meditations are best? What do I gain by the different types?” And so on and so forth... and, unable to accurately answer these questions buffeted about as I was by tidal waves of information in the meditation how-to sea, I’d end up not really getting much of anywhere with it.

It wasn’t till I met a man who simplified the process, directed me towards some Western literature on the topic and taught me of the most important facet of meditation, that I felt I knew where to go with my own meditation.

I’m going to pass that direction onto you today.

Now, what this article won’t do is lead you to nirvana-like enlightenment. It won’t lead you to an understanding of the different schools of meditation, their history and chief aims. Those are things you can explore yourself if interested as you get deeper in.

Rather, this article will equip you with enough knowledge to stimulate that most important facet of meditation, the “relaxation response”, which you can access immediately upon meditating.

Understanding how to elicit the “relaxation response” in yourself has all kind of benefits, from better health to a better ability able to get yourself prepped emotionally in ways that’ll help you get women... and we’ll go into all of these below.

How to Answer “What Do You Do?”, No Matter What You Do

what do you do‘What do you do?’

Think about how many times you’ve been asked this question in one form or another...

It’s a whole lot, isn’t it?

Behind being asked your name, this is probably the most common question you hear.

Despite its frequency though, a great many people still don’t deal with this question well.

In fact, I commonly see people stumble and answer awkwardly or give such a rote/boring answer that it gives the other conversation participant nothing to move forward with.

... though, how you address this one little question can have large implications for the way people perceive you, positively or negatively, particularly in the early stages of an interaction.

What we’ll discuss here today is how to use ‘What do you do?’ to your advantage, so that you can leverage your answer to this question as a positive source of interest, intrigue, and conversation... in any interaction.

4 Crucial Mindsets for Your Relationships

In my recent article 'Scare Tactics and the Illusion of Control', reader Yink wanted to know how he could reconcile not using 'scare tactics' and still have his girl believe that he has options and that he can and will leave her if she doesn't act right:

Because Chase once wrote that you need to make her feel that you have other options and can leave at anytime if she is not treating you well. So should we use the scare tactic when we feel like she is slipping away in order to make her buckle up? Thanks.

The solution lies in having the right overall mental attitude instead of relying on individual techniques, thus the title of the article - mindsets vs. techniques.

mindsets vs. techniques

First off, let's have a look at the definitions of each, as a lot can be gleaned from them (definitions here from TheFreeDictionary.com):

  • Mindset: a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations

  • Technique: a practical method or art applied to some particular task

One has far-reaching implications for many behaviours and situations, and the other is simply one solitary method to carry out a single function.

So pitting mindset vs. techniques may look as if it's a battle between an over-arching concept of behaviour and single instances of behaviour, but in fact, it's actually a battle between two meta-mindsets: the mentality-seeking mindset and the technique-using mindset.

Turn Your Bachelor Pad into a Seduction Spot

Setting up your bedroom to facilitate great sexual experiences isn't the most important thing you can work on for your ability to seduce women... but it's one of those little things that can make all the other things involved in taking a woman from stranger to lover a whole lot easier.

If your go-to sex logistics spot is a bachelor pad with a single, uncomfortable bed under stark lighting and subject to distracting noises, you're not really giving yourself the best chance to excel at said pursuit.

Alternatively, if you set things up right, you can have hours-long foreplay tangled in pillows, blankets, each other, nakedness, soft light and seductive music. That's what I call "the bubble" - note that this is different from the bubble you can have in conversation... which is where you and a girl are in such rapt communication together that it feels like it's just you and her together inside this bubble, and the whole outside world does not matter - similar feeling here, except it's in your place.

bachelor pad

With this article I'll be showing you how to create a bubble experience in your bedroom... and explain too just why you'll want to.

Scare Tactics and the Illusion of Control in Life and Relationships

scare tacticsIn "The Purpose of Life from a Practical Point of View", Zac wanted to know why 'scare tactics' within relationships don't work:

It will be cool to have an article on "Scare tactics", and why it doesn't work when there is no genuine honest and open communication.

The question was posed in the context of styles of leadership and how to stop playing games in a relationship – which are actually two topics with a whole lot in common.

In this article, you're going to learn what a scare tactic is, why people use them, why they're ineffective in the long term and what techniques you can use to avoid them to have longer, more fruitful relationships, romantically and platonically.

First though, let's get an understanding of scare tactics.

Leaving Madonna/Whore Behind: A Deprogramming

In my article on sexual awakenings, Wallflower left a comment wanting to know how she could help a guy to drop his Madonna/whore complex:

Just a question for the ladies ;) How would you get a guy to drop his M/W complex? Is it possible? What would be the strategy here?

madonna whore

While I touched on the M/W complex briefly, I think the beliefs that frame the current Western feeling on sexual expression, particularly where women are involved, is something that is worth further examination.

To help rid yourself of your sexually limiting beliefs and any vestige of Madonna/Whore complex, a perusal of sexual lore through particular historical examples can be massively beneficial.

Learning about it will bolster your skills with women by helping you to set liberal sexual frames with genuine conviction and an understanding of why they work.

Additionally, gaining a more objective understanding of sexuality can also be of great benefit to any relationships you find yourself in, monogamous or polygamous.

And as stated in my previous article, a relaxed attitude to women's sexuality is something that is crucial to help any girl to a sexual awakening... so that the both of you can have mind-blowing sex.

How to Lift Someone's Spirits

lift spiritsIf you're a naturally empathetic person, you probably find yourself in-tune with the emotions of others. Perhaps more often than you'd like.

Even if you aren't, you'll have found yourself in a situation where you would have liked to improve somebody's mood, but may not have known how to.

A reader, Knight, commented in the article on emotional contagion about how a long-time mentor/motivator had seemed down on a recent occasion:

A great female friend of mine who is usually a great motivator for me was down today - something I haven't seen since we were in year 9 - and it really threw me off.

He wanted to know how he could shift her emotions:

I still felt the need to try and cheer her up somewhat... could you perhaps show us all how to shift emotions?I do my best to stay away from downers these days but I realise that some important people in my life are going to feel a bit down some times. It would be great to get them up on par with our happiness again!

This is a common sentiment when met with the advice that you should associate less with people who are negative or who suck energy from you, a la the psychic vampire; that you have important people in your life that you want to be there for.

Sexual Awakening: How to Have Her Doing Almost Anything in Bed

sexual awakeningPeaceInHeart, a reader of GC, writes in with a question about a girl he is sleeping with who is fairly restricted in her sexual expression:

I want to know is there any way to open up her nasty side or change her attitude?

How can I help her to open up?

It's a pretty common problem to have when you start a sexual relationship with a girl; you're not sure how to push things in the direction of the sexual behaviours that you prefer.

Whether your preference is for missionary only, outdoor-sex or bondage, getting a girl on the same page as you sexually is something that many guys find confounding, yet mighty rewarding to pull off.

The benefits of a healthy sexual relationship can reach far further than sexual satisfaction itself. Being in a solid sexual relationship tends to permeate the whole relationship and tincture it with a positive and understanding energy.

It's not without it's downsides (depending on what you want) - a sexually awakened girl is also a sexually curious girl, and that can sometimes mean curious about things outside your relationship, too.

However, if you're doing things right, and your girl isn't a completely sex crazy maniac with a through-the-roof libido, a sexual awakening is very worth achieving, and a very good thing for both of you.

Assuming you're here because you want to learn how to kick off your girl's awakening, follow the tips in this article and you'll be on your way to one sexually fulfilling relationship.

Dance Floor Seduction

dance floor seductionWe've all seen him. The sweaty, leering dance floor guy who circles, stares and ultimately ends up herding girls towards guys who have the deftness to come in and 'save' them.

Unfortunately this is how a lot of guys end up being perceived on the dance floor despite their best intentions otherwise. They think it's a good idea to try and get on the dance floor to meet girls, yet they wind up feeling like just another dude in the crowd.

But we're going to learn how to avoid being that guy.

I'm going to take a slightly different tack in this article than Chase took in his piece on dance floor game; while his focus there was mostly on why to get girls off the dance floor, I'll talk a bit more here about what you can do on it.

If you learn how to approach on the dance floor it can be one of the more fun and sexually charged places to meet women, which can often lead to some very steamy interactions.

There is a relatively large barrier to entry though... so let's cover that first.

Sex with Friends: 3 Kinds of Girl You'll Get

sex with friendsSex with friends.

It's something that we've all thought about and that can be relatively easy if one manages it correctly.

It does come with it's own little challenges though.

Today I'm going to introduce you to three (3) of the main flavours of girl you'll run into when you're hooking up with friends, and give you some insights into how to spot them and how to deal with them post hook-up, or beforehand if you are thinking about a hook-up.

It's important to view the demarcations between the archetypes as blurred lines rather than concrete ones. Girls aren't static in terms of their archetype and they can move from one to the other depending on circumstance.