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Articles by Chase Amante

Always Make Sure You Know How Much Time She Has

find out how much time she has
One of the first things to do in any date you go on or on any approach that might have a time constraint: ask the girl what else she has planned, and when.

Ever meet a girl on a bus or a train, and you start talking, and it seems to go great... and then all of a sudden she's telling you "That's my stop, I have to go!"... and the next thing you know, she's gone, and you hadn't even grabbed her contact details?

Ever take a girl on a date, and just when it starts to get good she tells you "Hey, I'm sorry, but I have to leave now, I have an appointment in 30 minutes and I have to get going."

That's always super awkward, isn't it?

What if you didn't have to run into these scenarios ever again?

What if you always made sure you had girls' contact info far in advance of them leaving, and you knew exactly when a date had to end, so you could be sure to end it on your terms?

Well, you can.

It's very simple.

All you need to do is, very quickly into any conversation or date where there's any possibility of a time constraint, make sure you know how much time she has.

"Pickup Artist Advice Doesn't Work!"

pick up artist advice
Have you tried out some advice from a pick up artist and it didn't work? Was it some pretty extreme bad advice, like "always do this super intense thing"?

I've interacted with lots and lots of students over the years.

You see all types, in terms of depths of study and levels of results:

  • There are the guys who study seduction for a bit and use it to get some lays and find a girlfriend

  • Then there are the guys who study seduction in-depth and go on to get respectably good with girls -- they rack up respectable notch counts, get some beautiful girls, and build a mini harem or settle down with a top notch long-term partner or wife

  • There are the guys who poke around with it a bit, read some, watch some, experiment a little, but never really commit to learning it, and drift off, eventually meeting whatever women come into their lives in more conventional ways (e.g., dating a friend's ex... hooking up with a girl from work... meeting some chick off a dating app, etc.)

  • Then you get guys who get into seduction for a while, do well with girls, but drift off to something else before they can really cement their results, presumably because woman success doesn't really do a lot for them and something else is more engaging to them

  • And, finally, in the 'most likely to leave irate and disappointed' category, you get the guys who get into it, became obsessive about it, but focus on the wrong things, and proceed to struggle for a while (sometimes for years), until they eventually flame out, sometimes angrily so

Among the guys who've actually studied seduction, except for those guys who flame out, there are generally positive feelings. It's pretty hard to argue that things like "keep your posture tall and erect" and "lead your conversations where you want them to go" is bad or harmful advice. Even if a guy doesn't stick with it long enough to get many immediate results, he will generally appreciate whatever he did learn.

However, there is a class of student that's mystified me for a long time.

This class of student will show up later on, typically after he's become disillusioned with a branch (or all branches) of seduction for this or that reason, and either accuse you (the teacher), or other teachers in the space, of giving shoddy advice that doesn't work.

Then you will ask him what this advice is that is not working for him, and he will tell you things that no seduction teacher has ever told a student to do, and that violate what you yourself personally tell people to do.

And you will wonder how did this chap get it in his head that this horrible advice he has seemingly pulled out of thin air is in fact what seduction teachers want people to do?

When I figured out what caused this, it also led me to a thinking mistake many students of just about any field (including seduction) appear to be prone to make.

That problem is the problem of thinking in extremes.

If Your Friends Are Needy About Women, Don't Talk About Women to Them

needy friends women
Friends who are needy with women become bad friends to you when women get involved. Best solution? Keep them away from woman stuff.

A couple months back, a member of our forums named Fluxcapacitor shared this tale:

Dudes! I went out with a couple of mates this week an I noticed this girl that I was interested in, my mate apparently seen her a week or so before. He went on to tell me he talked to her (which was surprising because he doesn't approach) and he got her number. She ignored 2 text messages, then he found her on social media (stalker alert...) an she didn't accept the "friend" or respond to his message. I don't think this is going anywhere fast for him.....

I felt like I couldn't approach this girl while he was about (he doesn't have abundance mentality an I wouldn't be surprised if he's already name their future children already :') ) an that it would look like I was stepping on his toes. I also thought to myself she'd have seen me with him so would possibly turn me down or ghost me to so it wasn't awkward but maybe she isn't that considerate......

I decided not to approach due to him cause I felt it would have looked like a dick move, but I don't think he's getting anywhere with it an so there's no harm in it.

Any thoughts dudes?

My response was this:

10 Glaring Signs When You've Blown It on a Date

blown it on a date
If you can't tell when you've blown it, it's very hard to fix mistakes. Look for these 10 signs to always be able to tell when you've lost a girl (and why).

Over the years of coaching men to do well with women, I've spotted many key differences between the men who learn fast and the men who flounder.

One of those differences -- the one we'll talk about today -- is the ability to spot the moment in an interaction with a woman where things go from 'filled with potential' to 'crashed and burned'.

No one has a perfect pickup streak for too long. Everyone loses girls, botches courtships, and slips up:

  • You approach a girl a wrong way

  • You say something to her that offends her and turns her off

  • You miss an escalation window she had wide open for you

  • You propose the wrong thing and she declines

  • You're too aggressive, or not aggressive enough, and she leaves in disappointment

Everybody does these things at least sometimes.

However, what I have realized over time -- and it surprised me at first when it really clicked that it was this way for some guys, and that this was the source of many of their struggles -- was that some guys have no idea where they blown it with a girl.

For many guys (myself included), the moment you get too far off track with a girl you get that gut feeling of 'whoops, that might've done it' and you say to yourself, "Oh drat, missed a move / did that wrong. She might be lost."

This is vital to the improvement process, because when you know where you messed up, it is easy to fix the next go-round. You might be able to fix it during this or on your next interaction with the same girl. More likely, if you really have lost her, that girl is lost, but you can do things better next time with an entirely new girl you do not make that mistake with.

For some guys though, these signs things have gone awry are invisible. Every failed date or approach or seduction is a guessing game for such a man: what could have gone wrong? Why didn't it work? He has no idea. He just knows the date didn't work... but somewhere in there, in that two hours he spent with her, she went from 'interested in him' to 'no longer interested in him'. He just doesn't know where or why.

If you want to improve with girls at any rate faster than a sloth crawl, you need to spot the moment you lost a girl. This is sign what tells you where there's something to fix.

Tactics Tuesdays: Attraction Stories

attraction story
Need to show off a few attractive qualities to a girl who's curious but not hooked? The attraction story is your great and useful friend for this.

An attraction story is a story you tell that makes women listening feel more interested in, excited about, and comfortable toward you.

It does so by showing a girl attractive qualities about the ways you think, act, and live your life, via the story you tell. These same qualities that entrance women also make other men view you as cooler, higher status, and more dominant... so attraction stories really work to make everyone like you more. In the old seduction community they used to be known as a 'display of higher value' (DHV).

Here's an example of a quick attraction story:

So a few weeks ago I was at this bar in another country I was in for a marketing conference. And you know when I go to these things I always go to the lectures to hear what people are doing right now in marketing. I never go to the networking part. I used to do it but I never got anything worthwhile out of it, just got a bunch of business cards I'll never use.

So I went out to a bar on my own and honestly it's a lot more fun than hanging out with a bunch of business people trying to trade business cards who are either bored to meet you or treat you like a piece of meat, depending on what they think they can get from you.

You go to the bar with the locals and you get to have cool conversations with local guys and get random local girls grinding up on you. You have to go by yourself if you do this though because if you go with friends people you intimidate people and they'll stay away. Go solo and it's 10x easier to meet people; you're just some random friendly person anyone can meet.

There's a bunch going on in that story (which I'll break down for you later), but the net effect is you probably end up feeling like the storyteller is a pretty cool, authoritative, knowledgeable guy. If that's congruent with his appearance and behavior with this gal, she is going to feel more intrigued and excited about him when he tells her this tale.

You'll use attraction stories most during the most pivotal times of a seduction:

  • When you've first met this girl, and she's open to learning more about you, but not quite hooked

  • When you've just transitioned somewhere else with a girl (like to a seated position, or to another venue), and you need to get the conversation going again and want to make her feel like she made the right choice in going along with you

  • When you have a little dead time while you're waiting for something else, like for her or your friends to return, or for a bus or taxi to arrive

Used at the right time, the vibe gets more intimate, and you spike a woman's interest in you. She will cozy up more to you, get more comfortable, and open herself up more.

Of course, there's a wrong time to use these too, so let's look at timing first.

Want to Get Good? Make Predictions in Your Head

pickup predictions
You can learn to read women's signals far more reliably, and shorten your seduction learning curve, if you first learn a simple little trick: how to predict with accuracy.

At the carnival, there is often a man (called, like all carnival workers, a 'carny') who will offer to guess your weight or age.

birth month guess trickSometimes carnies use trickery. For example, one might offer to guess your birth month, then write down something like the scribble on the right. That, of course, could be said to say January... or June... or July. If you say your birth month is any month other than October, the carny will have 'guessed' within two months of your actual birth month, and keeps your $2.

However, not all carnival guessing games use tricks. Some actually do rely on skill.

What is the skill involved in guessing someone's age or weight?

While there's no skill I know of to accurately guess someone's birth month, you can get scarily good at guessing weight very quickly... and guessing birth year (not month) is not nearly as hard as you'd think.

In fact, over the years I've developed the ability to guess women's ages with startling (even to me) precision. I am good enough at it that about 3 out of 4 times I guess the exact to-the-year age of whatever girl I am talking to, or am within a year of her calendar age, so long as she is somewhere between 18 and 36.

How do you develop this ability to accurately guess age or weight?

You do so by making predictions, and discovering if you are right.

You can make predictions about a whole lot more than just age and weight, too.

And the better you get at making various kinds of predictions, the more easily you will tend to discover things about whatever it is you've learned to predict.

Does the Perfect Partner or Relationship Exist?

perfect partnerI suspect this is more an American problem... in part because I haven't seen it so much outside of America, and in part because America is a nation with people uniquely fixated on "I should get what I want -- all of what I want."

However, there is a certain expectation that a perfect partner and/or relationship should be achievable.

To put that into specific terms:

  • It should be possible to find a partner who shares all the same interests as you

  • It should be possible to find a partner who wants time together when you want it, and to be alone when you want to be alone

  • It should be possible to find a partner with the same love language as you, so you are always happy with her ways of showing affection and she is always happy with yours

  • It should be possible to find a partner who always communicates in exactly the way that works best with you, so you always know what the issue is and never encounter drama

  • It should be possible to find a partner whose sex drive exactly matches yours, so the sex is never too little, and never too much

  • It should be possible to find a partner who's fine to do all the chores that you don't want to do

  • It should be possible to find a partner who has all your other requirements, wrapped up into one: your looks requirements, physique requirements, height requirements, intellect requirements, personality requirements, social life requirements. All wrapped up in one

  • It should be possible to find a partner who wants exactly what you want from the relationship (more closeness or just a little closeness; one child or two children or ten children or no children; to live a lavish lifestyle, or to live a minimalist one). And that, should you change your preferences at some point, she will change her preferences at the same time, or nearly so, and the two of you won't grow apart

  • It should be possible to find a partner who is always pleasing and rarely irritating, and never, ever, ever causes a fuss

The perfect partner, and the perfect relationship.

It should be possible... should it?

Because many relationships end due to what we could ultimately boil down to this one consideration: "She just wasn't perfect enough."

In an Age of Connectivity, Maintain Your Privacy

just you and her
In the Internet age, everyone's cavalier about privacy. But now that people are routinely smeared, fired, and jailed for what they share online, should you still be so cavalier?

Right now, everyone's aware of how little privacy everybody else has in the Internet age.

We're all aware of it, but few of us care. Most people are actually pretty cavalier about their privacy.

Most people are on social media. A lot of people want to be big on social media. Pictures of their lives, videos, and so on. They want to blow up and get all those sweet, transitory thumbs up from random people.

Trading privacy for social approval is an attractive prospect when you are younger. I did it; a lot of people do it.

There is an important thing to understand about privacy though, and it is that the stuff you put out there to help you (by making you look cool, giving you a stage to stand on, and the like) can also come back to bite you.

It is important, especially while you're in your more self-focused, self-aggrandizing period of life (typically your teens and early-to-mid-twenties) to do everything with privacy in mind.

During the Pickup, Do You Make Her Feel Like It's Just You and Her?

just you and her
An intimate feeling during a seduction is crucial to moving forward. Without it, you may never get far with women, no matter how many approaches you make.

Sometimes guys go out to meet girls and girls can tell the guy isn't fully into them.

This may be due to the guy not wanting to throw all his chips in on a girl, to avoid the sting if she rejects him.

Or it might be a consequence of him going around in social butterfly mode, and not being able to commit to an interaction with any one girl.

Regardless, the girl can tell the guy has only one foot in the seduction... and the other foot out of it.

And since he hasn't committed to their interaction, neither too does she.

Thus starts a vicious circle for "one-foot-in" seducers, as they bounce from girl to girl, never committed to their interactions, finding the women they meet do not commit to things either, so that they themselves continue to not commit to their conversations, whether to protect themselves or to keep themselves moving, and on the cycle goes.

Many guys who burn out of nightlife cold approach or day game cold approach are guys who do this... guys who never (or rarely ever) commit to an interaction with a woman.

Women follow your lead (if they like you and accept you as a leader).

If you do not commit to a courtship, women will not commit to it.

Sure, you will occasionally get girls to chase you despite your non-committal nature.

However, the vast majority of the time, with the vast majority of the girls, if you want to get anywhere, you have to go both feet in.