Articles by Varoon Rajah | Girls Chase

Articles by Varoon Rajah

Book Review: The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida

enlightened sex manual
Ejaculation needn’t be the end of sex. It’s possible to control your ejaculation, to make sex far more pleasurable… For you AND her.

Human sexuality can be as simple or as complex as we desire. In our media and popular culture the parameters of sexuality are often dumbed down. One night stands are promoted as we grow up in the “get drunk, party, fuck” environment portrayed throughout media, artificial pleasures like porn and toys endure, and the purpose of sex becomes either short-lived hedonistic gratification or family rearing procreation.

Lost is a spiritual element informing how our sexual organs are wired straight to our brain and how our whole body is linked sexually... how our mental state can be affected through sexuality... and how our sexuality can be influenced by our mind.

Cultures of long ago had stumbled upon this knowledge, creating foundations for healthy human sexuality – the Kama Sutra, Tantra, Karezza to name a few – but all are commonly misunderstood in today’s society (e.g., the Kama Sutra is not just a book of sex positions). Today we settle for short, five-minute shags where the man ejaculates hard and fast, and the girl doesn’t cum HARD in a way that opens her psyche – it’s over, and we move on.

By connecting the realm of the brain – spirituality and emotions – with those of our physiology and sexuality – our genitals and how we use them with a partner – we can create a new level of awareness that ties pleasure with raising our level of awareness and purpose. We can create and deliver earth-shattering orgasms that transform our psyche and leave us with replenishing instead of wasted energy.

Today’s book review of The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida begins with this powerful statement:

Good artists are skilled, but great artists convey an immense depth of feeling through their expertise. The same goes for the art of sex. A good lover knows how to make the body sing, But a great lover, a superior lover, evokes a vast choir of bliss…The Enlightened Sex Manual shows how to transform the often willy-nilly flow of stimulated genital energy into a profound depth of feeling, openness, and embodied ecstasy.

p. 1

Night Game Process: Podcast with Alek Rolstad

Hey there! Varoon Rajah here. Welcome to the Girls Chase Dating Mechanics Podcast, my show on the Girls Chase channel. For today’s podcast, we have longtime Girls Chase contributor Alek Rolstad.

Alek’s back for a rip-roaring look at picking up girls at nighttime. Included in this interview is an example pickup of Alek’s, and a few of Alek’s incredible sexual game techniques.

How to Beat Your Girlfriend’s Double Binds

double bind
Girls use double binds on their mates more often than you might realize. But it isn’t always easy to defeat these – and lots of guys try and fail.

It was a wild night. A girlfriend of mine came over after work and we had incredible sex – multiple hard sessions, one over 60 minutes – until early in the weekday morning. “That was sooooo amazing, I loved it!” she said as she fell asleep on me, spent and exhausted. The lights were on, and we didn’t even get up to brush our teeth.

The next morning, we went at it again, and after some cuddling I woke up and began to meditate as usual – my morning routine. My girl got up to shower and get ready as I did this. She had to leave for work before me, so I carried on with my meditation, taking time to achieve the right mind state, beginning what would later be an awesome, productive day.

As I was on the ground, my eyes closed, delving into the depths of my breathing and vision, I heard her come out rustling her clothes and jacket on. I could tell she was about to leave, but I wasn’t done meditating. She circled around me but I paid no attention. After a few minutes, she walked toward the door.

“I’m leaving! Kiss me!” She said aloud hoping to get my attention. She was already by the door. But I was still on the ground meditating.

I wasn’t done, and she was interrupting me.

“I hate you!” she said aloud, noticing that I didn’t acknowledge her.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

She said it again. “I HATE YOU!” She said this with a stern face as I looked at her still sitting on the ground.

I was coming out of my meditative state, and I gave her a blank look, holding eye contact. She frowned a little bit more and looked at me sternly, disappointingly, waiting for me to get up and see her out the door. I held my eye contact, and then turned my blank face into a devilish smile.

She abruptly broke her stern frame, transforming into a most subtle smile, then yelled out again, “I hate you…” more gently and calmly.

We paused, still holding eye contact. Then I blew her a kiss, smiling. She blew me a kiss, her face transformed into a huge smile. She grabbed the door handle, opened it, and left.

I was still sitting on the ground. I closed my eyes again and went right back to my meditation.

She texted me later in the day: “Sorry that I kind of messed up your meditation this morning,” followed by “Although I had a great night last night!”

I passed another Double Bind. One of many I’ve seen with this girl... and with others.

Book Review: The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi

the rational male
A review of The Rational Male, a book focused at upending fem-centric thinking in men and teaching them to think like men again.

Rollo Tomassi’s book, The Rational Male, is an amalgamation of essays from content on his own website, The Rational Male, and other dating advice forums where he frequently contributes. I came across this book by chance on Amazon and found the content interesting enough to warrant a look.

This series of writings tunes men in to the dynamics of the human sexual marketplace through an exploration of human behavioral and evolutionary psychology, and demonstrates how such concepts show up culturally and politically. Tomassi’s intent is to educate the average man about his sexual potential, options, leverage, and strategies in his general relationship with women while exploring women’s sexual strategies, relationship strategies, and social conventions that we see commonplace today. Rollo summarizes this himself near the end of his book:

My intent with all this is to illustrate how the reality in which we find things ‘normal’ is rendered by fem-centric influence. Across ethnicities, and encompassing all manner of social diversity, this influence is so insaturated into our culture, laws, media, entertainment, from our collective social consciousness to our individual psyches that we simply take it for granted as the operative framework in which we live. I realize this is a tough pill to swallow, because male imperative does in fact intersect with female imperative depending on mutual goals. However, the point is that of operative framework, the reality we function in, is primarily defined by the feminine.

– p. 266

The now well-known men’s self improvement community, which includes the “manosphere,” consists of many trains of thought and communities devoted to understanding the masculine-feminine dynamic. Rollo’s background consists of what he terms a “rock-star” 20s that led to pursuing a university degree in behaviorism psychology at age 32. This, coupled with his intense life experience and his near decade use of forums as a testing ground for ideas on sexual dynamics and attracting women, led him to be a critical author in the manosphere and men’s rights community.

This book is based on many psychological concepts, and also ventures deep into the darker elements of the masculine-feminine dynamic and human sexuality. I caution readers toward its content and suggest reading with a curious mind. I consider Rollo’s book more appropriate for intermediates looking to advance their skill set to the next level in their relationship with women, as it is critical to develop healthy mindsets about women and sexuality in order to use that power responsibility.

Power is power, and we have a responsibility as men to use it ethically – as seen in the core philosophies of Girls Chase, we always practice from a mindset of love and adventure, never from one of hate, revenge, or negativity. However, for many men who find this community on their own, they see a world that bitterly challenges deeply rooted beliefs. From the book:

Game was a wondrous tool set of skills, but without the insight or foresight to deal with what these tools could build, it was potentially like giving children dynamite.

– p. 113

With that in mind, let’s explore.

Book Review: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

Way of the Superior Man
David Deida’s Way of the Superior Man helps men make their peace with the feminine – and truly understand how men and women fit together.

I finished David Deida’s book, The Way of the Superior Man, in about two hours on a United States flight from the east coast to Seattle. It’s a very fast, easy read. And it’s one of the most powerful and influential books I’ve read recently on how to tap into masculine energy and become a penetrative force in our world today.

David has committed his life to teaching and revolutionizing the way men and women grow sexually and spiritually. He teaches unique multi-day workshops on spiritual growth and sacred intimacy. He is known worldwide for his many writings, videos, and audios on a fully-integrated approach to spirituality. His works and workshops are committed to raising an understanding of our human condition through transformative practices and ideas. David addresses spiritual awakening of mind, body, and heart.

Below, I delve into some takeaways from David’s book that I found useful. There are a total of 51 chapters across eight parts – most as short as two pages. Each of these covers an area of the masculine – as opposed to feminine – that can help us grow as men.

Book Review: Why Him? Why Her? by Helen Fisher

Note from Chase: this is the first article by Varoon Rajah, who runs our podcast series. Varoon’s launching this book review series, where he aims to review a new book each month related to dating, attraction, relationships, or psychology. Here’s Varoon...


Why Him? Why Her? is a book by Helen Fisher which ultimately suggests who you fall in love with (for GC readers – who men and women are attracted to) is powerfully influenced by who you are. Or, in other words, your personality is influenced from a very young age by your inherent temperament in addition to developed character traits. While it is commonly thought that your experiences in life shape who you are, what is not as clear to many is how a person’s inherent biology ultimately shapes them, as well as guides their choices and decisions well through their life – including the domain of relationships, love, and romance.

why him why her

Helen briefly discusses this distinction – personality based on experiences and character versus personality based on biology and temperament – early on in her book:

Your character traits stem from you experiences. Your childhood games; your parents’ interests and values; how people in your community express love and hate; what relatives and friends regard as polite, dangerous or exciting; how they worship; what they sing; when they laugh; what they do to make a living and relax – these and innumerable other cultural forces combine to build your unique set of character traits.

The balance of your personality is your temperament, all of the biological based tendencies you have inherited, traits that emerge early childhood to produce your consistent patterns of feeling, thinking and behaving… Temperament is the “I am,” the foundation of who you are. Curiosity; creativity; novelty seeking; compassion; cautiousness; competitiveness: to some degree, you inherit these and many other aspects of your disposition.

Fisher, Helen. (2009). Why Him? Why Her?: finding real love by understanding your personality type (pp. 3-4). New York, NY: Henry Holt and Company, LLC.

And thus, we all have an inherent disposition and behavior that shows up to others. You might imagine where and how this is useful with your woman life – knowing the nature of that cute girl you’re about to approach or just approached, that cute girl you just met at 2 AM in a nightclub, that cute girl you’re about to go on a date with, and maybe even that cute girl you’re already dating or in a long term relationship with – has absolutely massive implications as to how you show up to her, how she shows up to you, and how elements that you present to each other serve or don’t serve to bring you two into getting together.

And knowing this – knowing your target and who she is – can enable the seeking of girls most suitable to partner with you, as well as cater your own experience with her to manage her needs, attractions, and repulsions.

And with that, we dive into this exploration of where experience meets biology.