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Articles about sex.

The "It's Cruel When Men Don't Stick Around After Sex" Argument

Chase Amante's picture

stick around after sex
Men don’t always stick around for a relationship after sex. Is this wrong and is there anything bad about it – or not?

On my Friday/Saturday night date post, a female commenter took issue with my advice to a male commenter that he take advantage of rebound sex to get over a harsh relationship he just came out of.

To her point, I was perhaps a little indelicate in how I suggested he do this (it was guy-to-guy talk; this is a men’s site, after all). However, she took the occasion to launch into a moral argument that casual sex hurts women, takes advantage of them, and uses and discards them like unwanted objects. Her comment arguing this is a bit long to quote (you can read her full comment here), so I’ll just quote what is the most important part to me:

I have had conversations with girlfriends who have told me that a guy won’t go out with them if they don’t sleep with them. Women have been conditioned to feel they have to have sex, much much sooner than they would feel comfortable. We know from studies that men don’t develop the feeling of love until at least 3-6 months into the relationship, even while sleeping with a woman. What they develop are lust emotions.

Most women have given up on the idea of a man protecting them and *actually* loving them. Valor and honor and real love for another is almost absent in most dating. What you describe in your post is not love at all. It is using people for sex, using people for the thrill of feeling desires, of entertainment, but it is not love. You are incredibly insightful with how to manipulate women to get to your ultimate goal. What I am saying is that this is the opposite of what a man of valor would do. He would protect his woman from physical exploitation, not be the one to exploit her. And he is exploiting her, even if it’s with her permission, when he is trying to extract sex from her when he doesn’t even genuinely love her--- care for her best good.

It doesn’t much matter if rebound sex helps a person feel better. That doesn’t make it right. Maybe we can just numb our conscience to the point that it is dead so that we can pursue feelings of lust and pleasure without caring what is actually loving to others?

First off, her science is wrong. Men are more romantic than women are, heal less completely from breakups than women do, experience love at first sight at nearly double the rate of women... and that immediate in-love love-at-first-sight feeling men get is not infatuation – relationships that spring from immediate in-love feelings are every bit as stable and likely to last as those that develop from slow build-ups.

But that’s beside the point.

Our commenter’s argument is that to sleep with her, then not see her again, or not engage in or want to engage in a long-term committed relationship with her is damaging to her. You hurt her, you injure her, and you just generally make her feel bad.

So is she right? Does sex minus commitment lead to a trail of broken hearts and cynical women?

The answer I’ll give you is “yes, but.” And the ‘but’ is quite important.

But we’re not ready for the ‘but’ yet. Let’s talk about the ‘yes’ first.

Sexual Authenticity Podcast with Daka Guy

Varoon Rajah's picture

It’s been a few months, but we’re back again with a new podcast, this time with the insightful and harmonic Daka Guy, of New York City. Daka Guy is a tantra instructor – which is another way to say women pay him to teach them sex. He’s one of the most spiritually and sexually balanced individuals I know, and I have personally attended his classes and been transformed by them.

The Lifestyle, Part 1: How to Get Into Sex Parties, Swinging, and Polyamory

Colt Williams's picture
lifestyle sex party
An introduction to “The Lifestyle”: sex parties, swinging, orgies, polyamory, and bringing new people into an existing relationship.

I was on the East Coast visiting a female friend a while back. As a night of delicious food and good conversation settled into our hearts and minds, she said, “Let’s go to a party.”

I acquiesced. Even though I don’t go to many parties these days, she is a classy lady and I knew that it would definitely be an interesting affair if she was involved.

And an interesting affair it certainly was.

It wasn’t like any party I had been to up to that point. We drove miles and miles until we arrived at a beautiful mansion outside the city we were in. We walked up the beautiful marble stairs that led up to a massive arched door.

The first thing I saw caught me off guard. After walking through the front door, I beheld a large, circular birdcage, inside of which was a woman who was completely naked with nipple clamps and a small chain hanging from her breasts.

As we continued to enter the foyer, there were several people in various animal costumes and masks who were barely clothed. After a few seconds of looking around, the maître d’ came out from behind the counter wearing one of those old French maid outfits.

“Welcome. What room would we like to go to this evening?” she asked.

My friend, without a second of hesitation, named one of the particular rooms.

“Good choice,” the maître d’ replied.

My friend handed her a credit card and looked back at me. “Let’s go.”

How to Have Sex with Girls in Bathrooms, Rooftops, and Fitting Rooms

Davi Diluna's picture

bathroom sex
Want to bang her in the bathroom, fitting room, or on the roof? There are tricks to each of these places – but they’re all fun to do.

When I’m asked about the benefits of learning seduction, one of the most important answers, at least to me, is taking part in all the amazing adventures that happen as a result. Learning about women and seduction puts one in a position to live a pretty unique and exciting life – that is, if you’re doing it right.

Having crazy sex in unconventional places is one of those spices of life to which I’m referring. It’s something you can draw upon at any moment to remind yourself that “Yes, I DO live life to the fullest.”

This past year, I became single again with zero logistics (I couldn’t conveniently bring girls back to my place for sex), so this subject has been on my mind. In this post, I’ll be sharing everything I learned. Even though I currently focus more on girls who have logistics themselves, having a little spicy walk outside from time to time feels great (just had some more rooftop sex last week! More on that later. ;) ).

Chase and Colt already covered the psychological aspects and a bit about logistics in their articles:

... so I’ll focus about specific places, and go deeper into the practical aspects; plus, give you my own feedback about various locations.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Give Her Orgasmic Phone Sex (10 Steps)

Davi Diluna's picture

By: Davi Diluna

phone sex
Phone sex isn’t just a great deal of fun, it makes getting actual sex with her easier, too. These 10 steps let you give her the best phone sex of her life.

Do you ever use phone sex?

Don’t laugh if it sounds cheesy at first. “It’s not real sex”, I know.

But here’s the thing: phone sex has a lot of uses. And one of them is to make dates fly by with girls you haven’t had sex with yet, and make that actual penis-in-vagina sex happen a whole lot faster with far fewer roadblocks.

In this article, I’m going to tell you exactly how to pull phone sex off. And I’ll tell you the many uses of it, too.

Aside from that though, I’m also going to give you some real cautionary notes… Because just as phone sex can speed up her path into your bed, it can speed up her path into ANOTHER man’s bed instead, if you use it in the wrong way and at the wrong time.

Due to some of the trickiness of the technique, I recommend this one only for intermediates on up.

Preface aside, let’s dive into phone sex, see how to use it, what it’s used for, and some of the things you can do with it.

Book Review: The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida

Varoon Rajah's picture

enlightened sex manual
Ejaculation needn’t be the end of sex. It’s possible to control your ejaculation, to make sex far more pleasurable… For you AND her.

Human sexuality can be as simple or as complex as we desire. In our media and popular culture the parameters of sexuality are often dumbed down. One night stands are promoted as we grow up in the “get drunk, party, fuck” environment portrayed throughout media, artificial pleasures like porn and toys endure, and the purpose of sex becomes either short-lived hedonistic gratification or family rearing procreation.

Lost is a spiritual element informing how our sexual organs are wired straight to our brain and how our whole body is linked sexually... how our mental state can be affected through sexuality... and how our sexuality can be influenced by our mind.

Cultures of long ago had stumbled upon this knowledge, creating foundations for healthy human sexuality – the Kama Sutra, Tantra, Karezza to name a few – but all are commonly misunderstood in today’s society (e.g., the Kama Sutra is not just a book of sex positions). Today we settle for short, five-minute shags where the man ejaculates hard and fast, and the girl doesn’t cum HARD in a way that opens her psyche – it’s over, and we move on.

By connecting the realm of the brain – spirituality and emotions – with those of our physiology and sexuality – our genitals and how we use them with a partner – we can create a new level of awareness that ties pleasure with raising our level of awareness and purpose. We can create and deliver earth-shattering orgasms that transform our psyche and leave us with replenishing instead of wasted energy.

Today’s book review of The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida begins with this powerful statement:

Good artists are skilled, but great artists convey an immense depth of feeling through their expertise. The same goes for the art of sex. A good lover knows how to make the body sing, But a great lover, a superior lover, evokes a vast choir of bliss…The Enlightened Sex Manual shows how to transform the often willy-nilly flow of stimulated genital energy into a profound depth of feeling, openness, and embodied ecstasy.

p. 1

5 Stiff-Dick Tips that'll Let You Last All Night in Bed

Chase Amante's picture

how to last longer in bedYou've finally gotten that beautiful girl you'd been dreaming about being with in bed. Her clothes are off; she's wet, and she's ready. You drop your jeans, lower yourself over her, and go in.

You begin to thrust - in and out, out and in. She feels great; and she moans - you know it feels good for her too.

Then, the unspeakable happens: you'd been hoping to give her an incredible performance...

But instead, your body doesn't listen, and you ejaculate into her inside of minutes... maybe sometimes even seconds.

She's obviously disappointed; you're obviously humiliated. Why does this happen to you? Why can't you just make it stop... and be like one of those stallion-like men in the movies who go for hours and hours?

You know she's rethinking her decision to go to bed with you; even as she tells you it's okay, it's fine, not to worry about it, you know what she's really thinking: He didn't seem like the kind of guy who was going to have this problem... what a let down.

Why does early ejaculation happen - and what can you do to stop it, and how do you learn how to last longer in bed?