Most experienced guys will agree that relationship sex is better than casual hookups. But that’s not to say you should limit yourself to one or the other.
I’ve read and heard many, many, many times that sex in a relationship is better than casual sex.
You’ll see it said in most media – be it television, movies, books, or on social feeds – that being a player and having lots of casual sex is empty and unfulfilling.
While there is some truth to this sentiment, I want to dispel some of the negative connotations surrounding casual sex.
Firstly, realize some possible motivations behind the negativity.
If a man says that casual sex is empty and relationship sex is fulfilling, he will usually fall under one of a few categories.
He is most likely a guy who doesn’t get laid a lot, is envious of those who do, and tries to shame them. To dissuade other men from banging lots of girls, he will advise against casual sex. He will poison the lifestyle with claims that it robs you of meaningful connections and is a waste of time. He’ll say that you shouldn’t disrespect women by seeing them as sex objects.
This guy is wrong for reasons you already are aware of – the pursuit of women is a worthy one. There are higher goals than chasing pussy, but it’s something almost every man needs to learn, at least to a degree.
There are also women who aren’t that competitive in the dating market, so they look to undermine men – either consciously or unconsciously – from pursuing other women during their sexual adventures. Ironically, this crusade against casual sex rarely stops the protesting women themselves from engaging in it.
Occasionally, you’ll hear this from a conservative, high-value girl, but it’s usually her reacting to a specific conversation rather than going out of her way to denounce casual sex. And don’t forget about the girl who just got pumped and screwed by some guy – she’s going to cry about casual sex being lame, but the real issue is she’s mad that the guy she gave it up for didn’t want more.
Men who are experienced but not expressing themselves clearly or are currently in a down state might also criticize the player lifestyle. It generally doesn’t come from a bad place and is usually the most informative of the “casual sex is inferior to relationship sex” arguments, but one should take pause when reading or listening to such criticism.
There is an important nuance when considering whether casual hookups are inferior to relationship sex.