3 Techniques for Changing Your Vibe with Women


I’ve been getting fairly a large number of PMs of late over on the forum side of things here on GC asking about vibe, so here I am in this article to (properly) tackle the beast!

So what is vibe, anyway?

vibe

Chase and the amazing writers of Girls Chase have a number of fantastic articles on vibe already, and I recommend you check these out before giving this piece a read:

The difference between those pieces and this piece is that the articles above are zeroed in on specific vibes, rather than how to learn and develop a vibe overall in the very first place... and if they don’t answer questions you have about getting vibe down, then keep reading, as I shed some light on the matter of building your vibe.


What is Vibe?

Vibe is that strange energy that every person gives off. This energy changes from situation to situation.

Take, for example, four different situations:

  • You hanging out with family on a lazy Saturday afternoon, joking around with everyone, briskly discussing recent news articles and whatnot.

  • You hanging out with the guys on poker night, laughing, talking about women, your recent sexual escapades, and the fact that your boss at work is a jerk!

  • You approaching that sexy dame you’ve got your sights on for the first time, you’re stumbling, running over your words, and sweating bullets.

  • You approaching that sexy dame you’ve got your sights on and you’re smooth, charismatic, unimpressed by her high-octane life, she’s just another person for you.

In each of the four situations, think about how your vibe changes with the people you interact with. Are you a stud with your family, are you a charming seducer with your friends, are you brisk and chill with women? Chances are, probably not.

But that’s essentially what your vibe is. It’s the energy emanating from you at any given time, and it’s picked up by others. For our purposes, and the purpose of this article, those other people are women... sexy women!

And the biggest, and most exciting factor there is about vibe? You can change your vibe to your liking!


How Do You Change Your Vibe?

First things first, you’ll want to get a bead on what your current vibe is. Because vibe changes with different people, you may already have a vibe that’s attractive. So, ask your family and friends to tell you what vibe you give off: what aura or energy do they see you emanating?

If you have a vibe that you want to change, tweak, or construct from scratch though, you can use the following three techniques:

  1. Modeling after someone
  2. Internalizing a mindset
  3. Tweaking your physical gestures

Let’s take a closer gander at each of the three.


Modeling After Someone

I was first introduced to this idea a ways back, and it proved to be quite helpful for me in building a social circle, as well as creating a new vibe.

When you model yourself after someone, you pick out somebody who has walked the path you are walking now. Could be somebody famous; could be someone in your everyday life; could be somebody dead; it really doesn’t matter who, so long as it’s someone you imagine you’d like to be more like.

All you have to do: take that person’s qualities and apply them to yourself.

  • How does/did that person walk, talk, carry himself?

  • How does/did that person breathe?

  • What about his physiology?

  • His beliefs?

  • What did he do to get where he is?

Now copy him.

vibeWhat happens is the vibe he creates then becomes a part of your own vibe. Obviously, if he’s famous, he’s probably confident, and thus, as you imagine yourself becoming him and begin to take on his traits, that confidence he inhabits becomes yours as well.

But, the newfound vibe you acquire doesn’t take away from your natural, or even your current vibe; instead it amplifies it for the better!

You ideally pick someone who is similar to yourself, and, ordinarily, the vibe he gives off is one that is hidden inside you yourself as well, merely waiting to come out.

So, bring it out.


Internalizing a Mindset

Another one that I have had work well for me in the past.

With this idea, you pick out any mindset - and Girls Chase offers many of them: abundance mentality; “I am the prize”; Peter’s recent article on crucial mindsets... take your pick.

Or, you can create your own, tailor-made specifically for you. This could be something like:

  • “I’m a sexy man. And women find me attractive.”

  • “Women are just silly and cute. No need to fret about them.”

  • “I can do anything, so long as I push myself.”

Whatever goal you have with women and vibe, think up a phrase, or motivational mindset that relates, and repeat it to yourself, or write it down.

The idea here is to internalize it, meaning you’ll want to become so familiar with your idea that you believe it - and you should believe it!

Socially-speaking, your belief system and your actions correlate with one another... they influence each other.

If you believe something, you’re more likely to behave in a way that is in-sync with that belief. Thus, if you internalize a belief or a mindset, you’re much more likely to behave the way that mindset naturally dictates you behave.

So, if you believe you’re a sexy man, you’re more likely to give off a sexy vibe and come off as a charismatic lover to women. If you believe women are silly and cute, then you’re more likely to approach a woman comfortably with ease and give off that vibe of comfort and ease.


Tweaking Your Physical Gestures

This technique takes a bit longer and is a prime example of something to utilize Chase’s 100 hour rule to get yourself executing on.

With this approach, you’ll be changing your physiology into body mechanics that have been proven to work at effecting behavioral change.

Take another two scenarios:

  • One guy walks slowly down the street with his back straight. Not fazed by anything around him, you see some focus in his eyes, and you see him smile occasionally at the beautiful women passing by.

  • Another guy walks fast with his head down, slouching a bit. He picks his head up once in a while, notices a beautiful woman and immediately pushes his head down. (Side note: don’t ever look down!)

If you saw each of these two men walk down the street and observed this behavior from each, how would you describe their vibes? The first guy is pretty sexy and dominant, isn’t he? The latter is more submissive, and isn’t sexy.

Your body language and physical movement gives people an idea of who you are... or, rather, the type of person you are.

In the beginning of the article, there were a few links to articles on specific vibes that this site talks about. Pay attention to these, and above all, find out how certain types of men move and interact and do what they do.

As a universal rule, you’ll want to walk slowly, speak slowly, keep your head parallel to the ground, smile at people, and breathe regularly. These are the basic body movements of a powerful man.

However, if you’re looking to give off a specific vibe to pick up a certain type of woman, you’ll need to adjust your body language and gestures accordingly with what that kind of vibe entails.


Physical Gestures, Part II

vibeWhen I started learning how to pick up girls and dealt with approach anxiety, I was introduced to the idea of using physiology to affect mental conditions by another one of our forum members.

Believe it or not, your body language and positioning affects your mental processes - and the effect is actually quite pronounced.

Try these out:

  • Clench your fist, tighten your muscles. Clench your teeth together, and pull your eyebrows down (effectively an angry face). How do you feel? Angry!

  • Puff your chest out, pull your shoulders back. Raise your head up parallel to the ground, and breathe. How do you feel? Confident!

That’s your mind-body feedback loop at work.

Your body’s present state influences your mood and your attitudes.

So, when you walk more slowly, speak more slowly, pull your shoulders back, keep your head parallel to the ground, and smile, you feel more confident and more dominant yourself, and can then act more natural with women, and are flatly perceived as confident, too.

Changing your physical gestures to show confidence then serves a dual purpose - and both of these purposes noticeably boost your success rates socially and with women.

As another side note, you can change your posture and body language to combat approach anxiety - in fact, if you aren’t doing so already when you go out, I strongly suggest you start.


Tying It All Together

By far the best way to construct or change your vibe is to combine a pair or all of these techniques.

Try changing your body language, posture, and position to one of confidence while internalizing a mindset of confidence and you’ll be amazed at how fast the change is.

You’ll also be amazed at how fast women will start to notice you differently... and the differences will be amazing.

Try it out, and watch your world change.

Cheers,
Richard

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Comments

mr.rob's picture

Video


Nice article Richard, probably my favorite one by you so far.

Anyway I have an Idea that I think would be extremely beneficial to the blog readers (myself included) having to do with this article. You mention basing your vibe off a role model. Well what if you are our role model. I think you, or any of the authors on this site really, but you in particular, since I've studied your FR's and like your style, should make a couple videos of live, non staged interactions approaching and closing (or getting rejected) women. There are so many PUA vids on youtube and most of the guys are barely decent and scrape through interactions to get a # (there are some good ones though). If you or another GC author we're to make a couple video field reports, lets call them, and then break down the interaction in writing you would have a killer article. It would in my opinion bring GC to a whole new level of utility. You would be exceeding customer expectations and needs thus providing more value. Maybe if it got popular you could sell the video w/ written break down for like a dollar or two a piece. (Yeah I know getting all businesey here just got done studying management)

Maybe it's a far fetched idea of mine but honestly I think it would pump up the value of this site from awesomely badass to legendary. Curious to everyone's input.

Anyway great article, cheers
Rob

Richard Weddel's picture

Rob

Author

Hey Mr. Rob,

First and foremost, I appreciate the feedback and the compliment =P

If I'm your role model, then well, you need to get your eyes checked. Haha. Seriously though, if I'm your role model, feel free to hit me up on the forum side of the site, I'd be happy to give you whatever information you need.

Funny thing is, I started to model myself after someone on the site as well, on the forum side of thins. I first joined the site, had my troubles, and one guy in particular gave me the advice I was most in-sync with, and I mimicked what he did for a while, and now I am where I am today.

I've also thought about the PUA in-field vids from Youtube, seen a couple of them myself, but none of them ever had what I was looking for. So, it's an idea I'll toy around with, and see what I can do.

-Richard

Damian's picture

Very nice article, I'd like


Very nice article,
I'd like to add that this attitude change has a very good "snow ball effect". Last night I had a few lucky things happen (some women suddenly decided to dance with me, other thought I was somebody they knew, etc.
This made me feel confident, gave me a nice vibe, I suddenly felt girls really as "silly and cute" and felt myself attractive, so when I talked to other girls I totally felt how THEIR attitude changed. All this looped nicely.
And that way of seeing girls felt like a switch, now I see them like that all the time, which changed my vibe for the better.

Anonymous's picture

The core problem I keep


The core problem I keep encountering is the belief system. I am very honest person. There are things I dont tell people when I see it can harm them or me in their eyes, yet I never try to lie. So... as in the article: ".... and can then act more natural with women, and are flatly perceived as confident, too." ... but until something unexpected happens, you dont know what to do and your model is shattered into pieces.

I was on a social event yesterday. Friends were quite kind, wanted to see me but when I started talking to them I could see how their interest vanishes up from their eyes. I could see how my presentation, my mask was torn and I felt like a fake person. And when I hit something like this my honest thinking kicks in and goes back to realizing who I really am. And what I am doing. I am deceiving these people in order to look better which I am not. I am better at sports, I got better at drawing, yet my social skills are all the same maybe worse and I sit there and sip the drink so my body gets filled with alcohol in order to hide all this ugly truth.

I have trouble only with people I know. I dont know how to keep in touch with them. People come into my life and go, only to be seen once a year when it feels weird. I like meeting new people because I have trouble keeping people in my lifes. It feels more like a report of my achievements and successes or failures every time I meet with them. And at the end of the night I feel like I have lost. Lost them.

Richard Weddel's picture

Core Problem

Author

Hey Anon,

You're an honest person, but that doesn't mean you're lying to yourself should you decide to change your vibe. Chase, and everyone on GirlsChase advocates for honesty early on and you still see people change themselves for the better.

The problem you're having is you haven't internalized a mindset. When you're in a pressure situation you lose control of your composure so you're mindset changes, and you lose whatever vibe you were giving off, and become "awkward."

You're not deceiving anybody by changing your vibe, because you've got many vibes in you and they all show up in different scenarios, what you'd be doing is taking a single one and using that as your basic vibe, the one you give off all the time. When you look at your artwork, you probably feel confident, and happy about it, so why would it be deception if you felt like that naturally around friends?

-Richard

Anonymous's picture

Facebook profile


Yo, Chase.

I read your article about facebook & picking-up and I agree with everything on it. I check facebook now and there to see if some of my old friends, who forgotten me years ago, wrote me something.

But because I'm perfectionist, I want everything in my life to be the best way I can do it. Same goes for facebook page.

I think you can relate, because in that article you said you spent hours to build a 'killer facebook page' for yourself. And I would like to see an article about setting up killer page, if you don't mind sharing your tips of course.

Thank you very much!

Brian1115's picture

Richard, I love how you guys


Richard,

I love how you guys think on this website. You guys are so against the grain and contradict mainstream. This kind of thinking has already helped me an unprecedented amount and I only started looking at your site a couple months ago.

Thanks for the abundance of advice!

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