About 3 weeks ago on the post announcing the site's new forum, a reader named "D"
asked about escalating things with women, being seductive, and cool –
essentially, how to be smooth.
Here's the gist of D's comment:
“Brother, I can initiate with no problems and create that instant attraction. But I seem to hit a wall at some point shortly after. I tend to have difficulty escalating to physicality. Granted I'm not very experienced in my endeavors but have been reading, studying, and trying to better myself; both in my body language and self image.
I need to know how to ignite the spark that I create and squirt a little gas on it.
I can create an opener from nothing and sometimes get 1 or 2 dates. Then something goes south. I try to be funny and witty, which works with openers, but I need to flip the switch to escalation and being SMOOTH to seal the deal! I feel like I have read almost everything out there so please my brother, let me know if you have any advice. I appreciate all that you've done and anything you can do to help me. Thank you!”
And just a week ago, another commenter, xChaser, this time on the post about anxiety in men, asked about something very similar, saying:
I again want to let you know you blog is impacting lot of guys lives. I have improved a lot from implementing what's discussed here. I have one request on a topic that pretty much helps the new guys not end up wasting lot of time.
Basically what I noticed is as we gain in knowledge, we get more succesful at dealing with girls, but after moving quite forward in the interaction sometimes [after] a small mistake the girl drops you like a ball, never to recover.
Could you cover a topic around this major critical point where you up the ante and at least during initial days avoid those traps rather getting dropped flat after spending so much time on the girl.
I guess you got my point.
Thanks in advance,
Both commenters are asking about something I call "transition points" – those moments in an interaction with a woman where it's time for you to take things to the next level... if you can only figure out how.
Most guys can't, and drop the ball, as xChaser put it.
But what if you didn't drop the ball?
What if you could handle transition points like a pro every time?
What I'm asking is... what if you knew how to be smooth?
Because that's what I'm going to teach you to be today.
When I was first learning how to pick up girls, most of the guys around me didn't really have a whole lot I could learn from. Even after I moved to Washington, D.C. in mid-2006, and I started hanging out with other aspiring seducers, all of them were as choppy with women as I was then – or worse.
Some of them much worse.
But even those guys were better than what I'd see out of your average run-of-the-mill Joe on the street or in the bar – all those guys knew how to do was get drunk, mumble or shout things at girls, try and grope them, fail, and end up in a fist fight with some other drunk guy who'd equally failed in his mumblings, shoutings, and gropings after all the girls got fed up for the night and went home to sleep.
And then I moved out to Southern California, and right away met a guy far better with women than anyone I'd known in a long time.
He'd talk to them, joke around with them, and move them around effortlessly.
He was charming.
He was attractive.
He was smooth.
And suddenly, in an instant, I realized in an instant how un-smooth I was.
I did not have this guy's ease with the opposite sex. Every girl I'd landed before I'd basically had to steam roll through... or, occasionally, I'd pulled off a smooth seduction through sheer luck or accident.
But this guy was pulling things off smoothly all the time.
Soon I made another friend who was as smooth as the first. Then another.
Between these three friends, I quickly got an education on what it meant to be smooth... and I knew if I wanted to make meeting and picking up and seducing and dating women as easy and straightforward and intuitive as these friends of mine had, I was going to need a complete "smooth" overhaul.
Being Smooth: An Outsider's Perspective
When you're sitting on the outside, looking in at a guy who's smooth, it looks to you essentially like this:
- Nothing fazes him
- Everything is natural
- Everything is effortless
- He's always in control of things
- He's never stiff or uncomfortable
- Even setbacks are handled with ease and adroitness, as if he's
seen it all and done it all a million times before already
Some of that may sound familiar to you if you've been reading this site for a time - you'll recognize the "effortless" and "natural" elements of smooth as outcroppings of what we talked about in these articles:
If you haven't read those articles yet, or it's been a while and you've forgotten what they were all about, I recommend you go check them out first to get a handle on the tremendous IMPACT that effort has on your social power and your ability to present yourself as attractive and dominant.
But here's the long and short on effort: women and men alike find the individuals with the highest level of return on their actions and the lowest level of apparent visible effort exerted to achieve results to be the most attractive.
If you want a cookie, and I want a cookie, and I've got to get up to go get it, but you can snap your fingers and have someone bring it to you, or push a button and the cookie is delivered down a conveyor belt to you, you look cooler, stronger, and more powerful and attractive than me.
Effort - and the minimization thereof - is undoubtedly a part of being smooth.
But it isn't the whole picture.
So what is? How do you get those other parts - how do you stop being fazed, always be in control, kill stiffness and discomfort, and handle every setback encountered like you've seen it a hundred times before, even if you've never even seen it once?
I could get cliché on you here and just say, "Well, confidence, of course! Duh!"
But that's the easy answer (and not a very helpful one, at that). Instead, today's article is going to take a far more nuanced look at how to be smooth, in order that you might make attraction and transition handling far more snap... than snafu.
When a lot of people think of "smooth," the image they get in their
heads is of a used car salesman with the perfect pitch who, try as he
might, can't help but rub you a little bit the wrong way... maybe it's
because he just won't shut up, or maybe it's how every word out of his
mouth seems to be something he's practiced a hundred times before.
But that's not smooth; that's slick.
A guy who really knows how to be smooth isn't just good; he's natural. Have a look at this clip from The Saint with Val Kilmer and Elizabeth Shue:
Kilmer has a good "feel" about him, right? But he isn't slick... he's smooth.
Take a glance through some of the nuances of the clip, in case you missed them:
Kilmer looks down initially when Shue looks over, but not immediately; he holds eye contact for a split second, just long enough for him to tell her he's interested, but he's not going to chase after her. When you've locked onto someone's eyes before they've locked onto yours, you normally need to break eye contact first to not feel like a threat (to give them a chance to assess you without being watched).
He gives her a chance to check him out without checking out back, then speaks to her just as she quickens her pace as she's leaving - just as awkwardness begins to set in, he breaks it and opens her.
He keeps his eye contact broken until she gives him a reason to reestablish it strongly, putting his gaze on her to communicate, "I'm listening."
He deep dives very quickly, going from a simple question into finding out something she loves, and putting the burden of the interaction on her to define to him something that's in her head but she hasn't taken time to examine much before.
He doesn't give feedback after her answer, only goes back to his drawing, as if he didn't have a care in the world. But he knows she has to ask him something now... it's far too awkward for her to simply leave after just having told him something intimate about herself, so he's able to be both extremely intriguing and to get her pursuing him and interested right away.
After she asks him about himself, he's both humble and intriguing, and then he follows the cardinal rule of conversation management and he turns it back to her, asking her what she searches for... another deep and intimate question.
He then asks a question that seems to break the flow of the conversation, which confuses her ("Why's he asking this?") and intrigues and excites her further. The question is made both dream-like ("Perhaps I'll take you to my home, in Africa") and relevant to the conversation ("... you should experience the energy of where all life began"), which ups his impression as a powerful man and a mysterious one.
He moves very quickly, and acts as if he's about to kiss her... and she appears both excited and willing for it. Then he breaks that and moves off, saying he's not good with people, which makes him more vulnerable and relatable after he's just built himself up as this powerful, intriguing, mysterious man capable of drawing intimate details out of her with ease.
There is a lot of detail packed into that short scene, and it's the reason why The Saint, although its seductions are only a small part of the movie, was one of the biggest things I modeled myself after early on in my seduction career.
Because while you might picture James Bond in a tuxedo with a hint of a smirk on his face when you think of smooth, you don't have to dress like a penguin just to be smooth.
Smooth isn't about your clothes, you see (as evidenced by the clip above).
And it isn't about being snarky or witty, although a little
well-placed humor doesn't hurt (if you watch the rest of The Saint, you'll see Kilmer use
humor as that character later on too). Nor is it about talking a
mile-a-minute and never letting the other person get a word in
edgewise, per the used car salesman example.
Rather, being smooth is about being both confidently strong and purposeful and completely non-needy in the face of whatever you encounter.
And in case you think that's too vague, let's get a little more specific.
Can a college student be smooth? How about a software engineer? A construction worker? An office manager?
Yes, yes, yes... and yes.
Smooth doesn't have anything to do with your profession.
Nor does it have anything to do with your physical characteristics - those smooth friends of mine I told you about in Southern California made up a full spectrum of ethnicities: one of them was Korean American, one of them was white, and one of them was black. Two were in great shape, but one was stick thin. One was an inch over 6 feet tall, one was three inches below that, and another was another three inches below him. And those famously picky, beautiful California girls loved all of them.
And the first "smooth" guy I ever knew was a 5'3" Puerto Rican
salesman with a beer gut who only slept with attractive women who had
at least 4 inches on him... and he slept with a lot of attractive women who had at
least 4 inches on him.
Smooth doesn't even have to do with energy levels; I've seen guys who were bouncing off the walls but still oozing smooth, and I've seen guys who hardly ever lifted a finger dripping with smooth.
Smooth is not about your look, or your characteristics, or your background or profession. Those things might matter somewhat for other aspects of attraction, but they don't play a part in smooth.
What smooth IS, ultimately, is all about THIS:
Being clearly and comfortably in control.
Sort of like the used car salesman example, when a lot of people think of a man being "in control," they get the wrong idea. Usually they think of:
A big muscular alpha male jock barking orders and intimidating everyone around him
An angry, unevenly tempered man snapping at the slightest straying from his orders by his submissive and retreating girlfriend
A guy sitting at the top of his social circle, in his preferred environment, who's used to having things go his way and giving commands and having his friends or toadies fulfill them
But none of those are truly in control. The first two examples are men who are maintaining control by a hair; they only remain in control so long as they can continue intimidating those they control. The instant those being controlled wise up to their act, or no longer need them, their illusion of control vanishes, and their subjects simply walk away.
And the third example, of the guy in his social circle, his control doesn't last, because it doesn't translate. At some point, his friends move to other cities, or get married, or get a job that takes up their time and they stop being able to hang out. If his power is at work, his employees leave, he changes jobs or gets promoted or changes departments, and suddenly his powerbase is gone. It's a very fleeting form of control... and it doesn't to anything for his success with women outside of the one environment where he pulls his strings at.
Those normal examples people think of when they think of someone in control are wrong, because they imagine a man who is seemingly in control, while in fact is on the very precipice of losing control.
Real control though, you do not lose, even when things don't go your way.
Now let's have a look at how you can get it, and at how to be smooth... and, by extension, at how to get girls by the boatload.
Why do women find a man comfortably and stably in control so attractive?
We could go deep into evolutionary psychology on this one... but rather than do that, allow to give you a few examples of different men:
- A weak, emotionally needy man who is not in control at all
- A man who is in control, but hanging on by a thread and using fear/intimidation
- A man who is easily and effortlessly in control, comfortable, and smooth
Which man would you want to have around you in any capacity? Which man strikes you as the most stable and trustworthy as the bunch? Which man would you want to have as a friend, a business partner, a brother-in-arms in a time of war?
And which one do you think a woman would want to invest her time, her energy, and her body into?
It's pretty obvious when you put it that way, isn't it: the third one. Hands down.
Everybody wants to be around a man who's smooth. The man who knows how to be smooth knows how to command the attention, attraction, and desire of the masses.
But, knowing what it is is one thing... actually being it, well - that's something else altogether. You may have watched that video clip of Kilmer above... but can you do that? And even if you pull it off at the start... can you maintain that?
How to Be Smooth with Women (and
There are three stages of becoming smooth that you will go into (assuming you're just an ordinary, average guy who isn't already in the process of being smooth). These are:
- Understanding what "smooth" is and trying to be it... somewhat awkwardly
- Becoming more smooth and having "lucky breaks" where you seem very smooth
- Reaching the point where you are now naturally smooth almost always
I'm going to take you through each of these, and give you plenty of examples of how they play out and what they look like, both in normal conversation, and during the transition points (moving things forward with women), where smoothness is at its most essential.
As a beginner at learning how to be smooth, you'll be focused on a handful of things:
Tamp down your enthusiasm. A smooth man is never amazed, or awed, or overly impressed by anything. He will show flashes of excitement and animation... but he never goes crazy. Nothing is truly "new" for him... he's seen it all before.
What this means for you as a beginner is you will have to tamp down your reactions and keep them controlled. A clown on stilts walks by? You don't say, "Wow, oh my God, look at that! It's so cool!" Instead, you casually glance at it, then turn back to whomever you're speaking with and say, "That's neat. So anyway..." A girl tells you she's been selected to go on some TV show? You don't say, "No way! That's amazing!" Rather, you say, in a neutral, almost bored tone, "Oh no way... that's really cool. How'd you pull that off?" as if you're mildly disinterested but making polite conversation.
If this seems "unnatural" to you, that's fine. You don't have to do it. You can simply wait until you're 50 or 60 years old, and you really HAVE seen it all and heard it all before, and be smooth then.
But if you'd rather not wait 20 or 30 or 40 or however many years you have to get there, start tamping down your enthusiasm now.
Tamp down your other reactions, too. A smooth man does not take what other people say seriously, because a smooth man understands that if someone is REALLY serious, that person will not spend time talking about it, or threatening it... he will simply go do it.
What that means is, when you have a girl fuming and saying she's going to leave, or a guy standing in your face filled with rage telling you he's going to pound you into the dirt... neither of them is ready to do it yet. Otherwise, they'd be doing it.
So, you force yourself to remain calm - don't react, don't backtrack, don't apologize - and simply handle the situation.
You tell the girl, "No, stay; I like talking to you. If you really want to go, you can go in five minutes." You hold out your hand and say, "I'm Jake," and maintain eye contact with a smile on your face until he shakes it. Afterward, you say, "I figure if we're going to fight each other, we might as well get properly introduced first."
And, suddenly, they're disarmed by your smoothness. That's because the escalation process is one of escalating confidence; someone who is emotionally escalating is also checking you for reactiveness to confirm that he or she is making the right decisions. If a woman doesn't see you desperate or upset to see her leave, but rather calmly telling her to stay, she becomes confused and realizes her emotions aren't appropriate for the situation; if a petulant man doesn't see you fearful or apologetic or confrontational in the face of his belligerence, but rather calmly introducing yourself and opening up a dialogue, unaffected by the situation, he becomes confused and realizes his emotions aren't appropriate either.
Work on your steadiness. Being emotionally calm and not overly reactive is a part of it, but being steady is another big part. Most people, in emotional situations, are jittery, nervous, and unsure. Their emotions are flooding their neural circuits, and there's simply too much going on; their voices tremble, their eye contact falters, and their forced smiles look too fake. Work on this.
Why's it so important to work on your steadiness? Because the fact is, lack of steadiness can give you away in emotionally heightened situations (such as pulling women home, or addressing tough questions or objections) that you aren't experienced in.
Oh, sure - you'll get natural steadiness once you've already been there and done that a hundred times or more. But if you don't want to be reliant on having to acquire massive amounts of experience in any particular situation before being able to handle it well, work on getting steadiness down first.
Work on being relaxed. The flip side of learning to tamp down your emotions and make yourself appear more steady is that most learners end up going overboard and become stiff. But when you're stiff, it's a dead giveaway you aren't actually comfortable OR in control.
What you communicate through stiffness is that you are trying to control yourself, which means you aren't actually smooth - it's a front you're putting on. The subconscious minds of others around you read that, and are emboldened by it; "Aha!" they think. "See that! He's uncomfortable! That mean's we're right!"
When you can be both emotionally unreactive to extreme emotions, and relaxed in the face of them, you become extremely naturally smooth. Getting there, however, is the beginner's challenge.
Work on being effortless. The great thing about working on being relaxed and working on being effortless is that the two go hand in hand. When you slow down your movements, take more time to respond to questions, take time to look someone in the eyes and smile first before answering, and throw a lot of pregnant pauses into your communication, you give yourself time to think, slow down the interaction, and cut into anyone else's ability to take control of the conversation and start driving it down a path that's bad for you (it's hard to really grill someone when he keeps taking his time, pausing a lot, and using good conversation guidelines and turning the topic right back to you after he answers).
Let's give you some practical examples of all this. Here's how a
conversation between a normal girl and a normal guy will look:
Girl: So, do you have a girlfriend?
Guy: Um... [knows this is an important question; gets uncomfortable] ... no.
By reacting uncomfortably here, the guy communicates that:
- He isn't in control
- He's not used to being asked this
Further, through his response ("Umm... no"), he communicates that:
- He isn't all that desirable (otherwise, he'd have a girlfriend)
- He isn't lover material (otherwise, he'd have a far smoother answer than "yes" or "no")
Now let's say the guy's a beginner learner at how to be smooth, and he gets asked the same question. Instead of the above dialogue, he has the following one:
Girl: So, do you have a girlfriend?
Guy: [slow smile spreads across his face as he's looking away; slowly he turns to look at her, making eye contact half a second after his face has risen to meet hers] Why do you ask?
Girl: I'm just curious.
Guy: [smiles again, as if he knows EXACTLY why she asked and he's just playing along] Oh. Well, no, I don't have a girlfriend. [leans in to look at her] Do you have a boyfriend?
That's probably a bit stronger than most beginners will pull off, but later on in the beginner phase you'll put together responses that look a lot like that.
While the guy here is still giving the girl a definite answer, he's making her work for that answer, and he's using nonverbal communication to imply here that he knows exactly why she's asking.
Here's another example, this one of a pull where a man's inviting a woman home with him, and the woman is demurring. A normal man's attempt:
Guy: How about we get out of here?
Girl: And go where?
Guy: [knows he shouldn't be this direct, but feels like he has no choice] I thought we could go back to my place.
Girl: I'm kind of tired. Maybe we can go to your place next time.
Guy: [knows he's being turned down, but figures, "Well, there's always next time!"] Okay.
This is a pretty awfully constructed pull, but you'd be amazed how many men try to get women home with them with a pull like this.
It's little wonder so many guys call it "getting lucky." It's like playing tennis with a blindfold on. It's a miracle if you manage to hit a ball back over the net.
Here's how a beginner at smooth who's been doing his homework is going to look:
Guy: Let's go somewhere a little more chill and less crowded.
Guy: [slow smile] It's a surprise. But it's better than here. Come on.
Girl: I'm kind of tired. Maybe we can go to there next time.
Guy: [ignores this and acts like it's a ridiculous suggestion] You can rest in the cab on the way over. We're going. [takes her hand and leads]
This pull works far better, because this guy doesn't make it a big deal. This is where steadiness and effortlessness comes into play - whereas for most guys, this is a HUGE deal ("I'm inviting her home! Sex! Oh man... is she going to say yes? I don't know!"), and women pick up on that and it freaks them out, for the guy who's learning how to be smooth, he keeps himself calm and steady and unenthusiastic and emotionally unreactive.
He stays smooth.
And when he does this properly - when he stays steady, keeps his enthusiasm and fear and nervousness tamped down, and remains calm and unemotional - the girl doesn't pick up on anything that would communicate that this is a big deal.
And since HE'S acting like it's not a big deal - SHE'S inclined to think it isn't, TOO.
One of the miracles of smoothness... even if you're only a beginner, and you're having to pretend to be calm and steady and effortless, if you do a good enough job at it, you will actually make HER feel calm, and she'll be orders of magnitude more likely to go with you than an ordinary, average, nervous guy who's making this simple act of going back to his place to do something that humans do every day a GIGANTIC DEAL.
Make it not a big deal, be smooth, and be natural, and suddenly women are just coming along with you like it's the most natural thing in the world... because for them, from the way you communicated it to them, it is.
Intermediate smooth is about working on the same bullet points we discussed under beginner:
- Tamping down enthusiasm
- Tamping down other reactions too
- Working on being steady
- Working on being relaxed
- Working on being effortless
Intermediate smooth is characterized by a more intrinsic origin for these much more of the time (i.e., a man is more naturally less enthusiastic, more naturally relaxed, more naturally efficient, etc., rather than having to pretend to be), as well as the realization and adoption of a few more principles:
He builds intrigue more and better. If you go back to that clip of Kilmer from The Saint, he plays a very intriguing character, and much of his power comes from that. Right away, Shue is wondering who this guy is, where he comes from, what his story is, and all kinds of things. He's snapped her out of autopilot, and he's all done it without anything contrived liked asking her for a female opinion or telling her some long story.
He's more comfortable with intensity. Beginners struggle to be intense without losing some degree of control of their emotions. External intensity = internal intensity. But once a man becomes more in control of his emotions and more and more naturally smooth, he becomes better able to channel his intensity without it feeding back and affecting him too (unless he wants to). This includes through things like intense eye contact, putting social pressure on people (say, if they're doing something silly or wrong), and forcing decisions ("Are you coming or not?"). A guy who's intermediate is better able to do these things both calmly and intensely.
He's less reactive when hit with a "surprise." Everyone has unexpected things happen to them and around them. An ordinary guy gets flustered; a beginner at smooth tries to control his reactions. A man who's intermediate-level smooth, though, seems almost comfortable, and doesn't take long to know the right way to react.
These aspects of intermediate smooth come more from experience applying and using the techniques discussed under beginner than from any concerted effort on the part of the intermediate learner. Smooth is becoming natural to him at this stage, through repeated use and focus on it.
At this point, he starts catching lucky breaks, and pulling off things that he thought were impossible, implausible, or highly unlikely. He invites two girls home with him, for instance, and both say "yes;" or he tells a girl who's about to go back to her friends to change her mind and say, and she does, despite him thinking she'll leave. He begins to surprise himself here, and starts finding he can do more than he thought he could.
The man who knows how to be smooth through and through, skin to bone, is what you could consider completely "natural," or completely smooth. He doesn't think about trying to control himself that much... he simply doesn't react strongly to emotionally heightened situations, and he remains calm, steady, effortless, and in control.
A man who's become proficient at being smooth has a number of advantages over lesser men when it comes to social interactions:
He's able to keep his focus on forward progress, not on putting out fires in his interaction (e.g., a normal man thinks, "Oh no, she's asking me a tough question - what do I say?" while a man proficiently smooth doesn't even think about this, he just addresses it, and continues direction the interaction the way he wants it to go)
He's able to get outside the interaction and see the big picture - instead of being engrossed with the minutiae, he's able to run his interactions on autopilot and instead look at the whole scene, noting, for instance, that her one friend doesn't seem to like him and might be a problem later when he tries to pull, and realizing that he should get the girl to deal with her friend directly rather than him try to manage things; and noting that the girl is friends with the bartender, so he'll want to make sure he has her out of there before closing time, otherwise they won't be able to slip off anonymously and she might even feel pressured to go with the bartender if the bartender tries to get her out of there too
He isn't wasting time wondering if he's doing things right or whether he'll fail or succeed - he knows how it's likely going to go, and what he'll do if it doesn't go the way he wants it to. He has his process, his backup process, and he's also confident than even setbacks or defeats aren't necessarily permanent.
The lack of fear of setback is probably the biggest advantage of the man who's proficiently smooth, and this one simply comes from going through enough situations smoothly that he knows that so long as he remains steady, unreactive, and in control, he'll almost always be able to handle whatever setback occurs.
What's the difference between a man experienced with women who's smooth, and a guy who's had a lot of girlfriends and lovers (e.g., a muscular jock, or a guy at the top of his social circle for the moment) who isn't smooth?
The guy who isn't smooth, even if he's very experienced, still overreacts to setbacks, demonstrating to women who are paying attention that his control isn't inherent - it's environmentally-based only. So he overreacts, a girl leaves, and she doesn't come back - or if she does, it's on her terms, and she's calling the shots.
The guy who is smooth, and experienced, doesn't overreact to setbacks, demonstrating to women who are paying attention that his control is inherent to him - a very rare and very attractive trait. It's at the very core of that ephemeral term "confidence" - here is a man who does not fear setbacks, because he does not see them as setbacks.
- Girl's asking tough questions? She'll settle down.
- Girl's acting dramatic? It'll pass.
- Girl's threatening to leave? She's not going to leave.
- Girl's saying she isn't sure? Yes she is - she just doesn't know it yet.
This is how the man advanced at smooth thinks, because by being smooth, he's seen how women actually react when they don't feel pressured.
Smoothness is ultimately a means of alleviating the pressure a girl feels of having to decide if a guy is attractive enough, or if she's going to be judged by him, or face a harsh rejection from him, or have to friend zone him or treat him like a boyfriend candidate. Because he's in control, and she accepts his control, she can simply let go, and let him determine how things will play out.
All she's got to do is decide if she can say "yes" and go along with what he's asking or not... and the smoother he is, the easier it is for her to say "yes" (because things aren't a big deal), and the quicker she is to trust his leadership.
Men who aren't smooth never experience this. They live life in a world of absolutes. A girl says she's leaving? She does. A girl says she isn't sure? She means "no." These men never realize that they create the world they experience... by being awkward, uncertain, and unsmooth in the face of a woman's uncertainty or pressure, they tell her which way to go - away.
The smooth man, though... he places no expectations on her. He gives her no nervousness, uncertainty, hesitation, or uncomfortable emotions in reaction to hers. Instead, he just sits there... and smiles warmly... and continues to act as if he knows she will stay and go along with what he wants. And because he acts this way, she feels reassured - and she does.
And it makes the whole process feel so natural that there's never even a hint of the "big deal feel" that ordinary men wrap these transitions up in, tearing apart their chances.
The smooth man just does,
naturally, effortlessly, steadily. And women do, right along with him.
Now that you've read this article, and you've got a handle on what being smooth is all about - not making everything "not a big deal," and tamping down and eventually ending the indications on your part that most men have that communicate to women, nonverbally that things are a big deal - does that mean you have now become a smooth operator by default?
Not quite. Not yet.
Because now, you've got to go out, meet women, and do these things.
If you haven't focused much on getting down the nuances of how to be smooth before, you'll have your work cut out for you. You'll start to find it annoying how hard it is to not have an awkward smile on your face in some situations... to not have your voice tremble... to not be hesitant, or say the wrong thing, or fail to move fast when you should or persist when you should.
But keep working on it. Learn to control your reactions so that they aren't wild or extreme. You never see Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or Val Kilmer, or James Bond bug their eyes out and say, "Wow! That's amazing!"
Women do that. Those guys just smile slowly, and say, "Yeah. It's cool, isn't it?"
Because they're smooth.
You don't see those guys drop their heads and say, "Okay, maybe next time," when a woman refuses their invitation. Instead, you see them chuckle a bit, and either say, "Come on," or simply smile and stare at her as if she's said something ridiculous... until she recants.
That's your objective with smooth. That's where you're working to get to, and where your ultimate goal lies.
Because once you are smooth with women... everything just happens a lot more easily.
And instead of worrying about how you're going to answer this tough question you're being grilled with... you're wondering how soon you can pull her: 5 minutes from now, or 10 minutes from now?
And you'll smile to yourself, and realize you'll just have to play it by ear.