How to Be Smooth with Girls Every Time | Girls Chase

How to Be Smooth with Girls Every Time

About 3 weeks ago on the post announcing the site's new forum, a reader named "D" asked about escalating things with women, being seductive, and cool – essentially, how to be smooth.

how to be smooth

Here's the gist of D's comment:

Brother, I can initiate with no problems and create that instant attraction. But I seem to hit a wall at some point shortly after. I tend to have difficulty escalating to physicality. Granted I'm not very experienced in my endeavors but have been reading, studying, and trying to better myself; both in my body language and self image.

I need to know how to ignite the spark that I create and squirt a little gas on it.

I can create an opener from nothing and sometimes get 1 or 2 dates. Then something goes south. I try to be funny and witty, which works with openers, but I need to flip the switch to escalation and being SMOOTH to seal the deal! I feel like I have read almost everything out there so please my brother, let me know if you have any advice. I appreciate all that you've done and anything you can do to help me. Thank you!

And just a week ago, another commenter, xChaser, this time on the post about anxiety in men, asked about something very similar, saying:

Hi Chase,

I again want to let you know you blog is impacting lot of guys lives. I have improved a lot from implementing what's discussed here. I have one request on a topic that pretty much helps the new guys not end up wasting lot of time.

Basically what I noticed is as we gain in knowledge, we get more succesful at dealing with girls, but after moving quite forward in the interaction sometimes [after] a small mistake the girl drops you like a ball, never to recover.

Could you cover a topic around this major critical point where you up the ante and at least during initial days avoid those traps rather getting dropped flat after spending so much time on the girl.

I guess you got my point.

Thanks in advance,
xChaser

Both commenters are asking about something I call "transition points" – those moments in an interaction with a woman where it's time for you to take things to the next level... if you can only figure out how.

Most guys can't, and drop the ball, as xChaser put it.

But what if you didn't drop the ball?

What if you could handle transition points like a pro every time?

What I'm asking is... what if you knew how to be smooth?

Because that's what I'm going to teach you to be today.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Zac's picture

I actually read an article before, about the success, and somewhat i believe it is something that relating to it's core.

A man who is confident can be unconfindent.
A man who is not confident can be confident.

A man who is rich can be poor.
A man who is poor can be rich.

It's deep. It is something that is relating to how your mind thinks. and as you mention here, steadiness.

Great Article. :)

Zac

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Zac,

Glad the article resonated.

Although, I won't try to pretend I understand what the quote means... I'm afraid, at least in this instance, you've managed to find something that's simply beyond me... sort of like the sound of one hand clapping.

Perhaps though, you simply need to go mediate on it to see what it's getting at.

Cheers,
Chase

Zac's picture

Chase,

Going through a lot of epiphany recently. I thought i might bump into this. Apologies, Everyone goes a stage where they finally reach things they are able to grasp, and getting good at. I have been reading a lot and research and trying out, practicing. Somehow My life tends to come together, :) I would say i am working on relating what i have learn from your work and share some insights on the forum too. The idea of you relating information to guys out here is beyond measurable. Really appreciate you have taken time to reply, here. Something i think every guy who is not denial, will.

Zac

Balla's picture

You're da man chase real talk, I have some questions Though. I thought you said looking down was a sign of weakness so why does Val Kilmer get a pass? Do you know any smooth black men from movies to emulate? And how can I fix this problem I'm having, it's 1. I smile and laugh all the time, it can be goofy at times. It's been like that since I was a child I can't control that emotion and I went threw and still go threw things because I smile and laugh all the time. How can I control this?

Problem 2 is how can I be warm and not soft and not have people try to take advantage of me? I read from you that you should smile and be warm and such but from where I'm from you can't go around smiling and being kind or you'll end up with someone trying to mess with you and thinking your easy pickings(which refers to question 1).
How can I be a warm person without being a pushover or easy or people taking advantage of me? How can I get the respect without being too much of serious intimadating person?
Thanks chase I agree with everything you write and it's hard for me to agree with EVERYTHING.

Franco's picture

...This, is the ultimate example of "smooth." Will Smith executes every example of smoothness in this clip... he knows he controls the interaction, he builds intrigue, and he is "refreshingly original," as Eva Mendes states it herself.

Check it out. ;)

Pop Up Pickup

Regards,
Franco

Author
Chase Amante's picture

That's a great find, Franco.

There aren't a whole lot of smooth black men in the movies, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. A lot of the smoothest guys I've known have been black, but they're underrepresented in Hollywood. I think the reason why is that Hollywood seems to get a lot of its black actors from either music or stand-up comedy, so you're getting either a singer or a rapper or a comedian, and not a guy who's trained as an actor. I don't know if that's because not enough black men take acting courses or...?

Even Will Smith though can be a little on the goofy / family-friendly side of things at times, but then again, come to think of it, my smooth black friends have had a bit of this too. It might take the edge off a bit for white people... could just be that a smooth and serious black man is too much for anyone who isn't black to handle. The edge is off, and then once the girl is disarmed somewhat, now she's open to the smoothness he has going on and she's receptive to the other things about him that are attractive.

Chase

Alex an Artist's picture

Hey Balla let me lend you some of my thoughts.

For the eye contact, since Val Kilmer did it with control, he "looks over, but not immediately; he holds eye contact for a split second, just long enough for him to tell her he's interested, but he's not going to chase after her." So it didn't come off as submissive, more like curious sexy shy. And he had the right intentions of getting her attention. "When you've locked onto someone's eyes before they've locked onto yours, you normally need to break eye contact first to not feel like a threat (to give them a chance to assess you without being watched)." If he hadn't established some sort contact beforehand, she be more inclined to walk off. So in that split second he put himself on her radar.

And brings me the realization, that a lot of success from what you do and don't do. Comes from intentions. Chase has said that in the past that as you get better, some of the rules go out the window. But I feel as though intentions will stay as a foundation of the way you interact.

You said you smile and laugh a lot and you want to be warm and caring, without coming off as weak. Those tie into your intentions, why you are, the way you are.

So if you're being warm and nice as way to get acceptance, attention and approval from people. Or laughing or smiling out of a nervousness or because you feel pressured. That won't translate well into courting or seducing women. It goes against being in control, being smooth. Those above are all amazing! Qualities! to have, it just the intentions and context of why these emotions are coming out, affect the way they come across.

So better intentions or reasons would be I'm going to be warm and caring because that's the way I want people to treat me. Or smiling because you genuinely find something amusing. You can see all those reasons are tied to you and aren't as much affected by the people around you. It feels more controlled.

Those are just examples; you can have other intentions or reasons. It just has to be more about you, sounds a little selfish, but it comes with the territory. Have more to say on this, but this just some of what I felt. You see, after working my sales jobs in the mall, seducing some of the women I sell to and reading these articles. You get into theorizing a little yourself.

And on a final note, you just have not let people vibes or views affect you as much, there will be times when people will try to mess with you or take advantage, but as you get more controlled, confident and aware. It'll at times seem non-existing. And you're probably more concerned about now. But you're reading Chase's material, so you're well on your way.

Hoped my thoughts sparked some sort of resolution or idea.

Truly,
Alex

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Balla,

Alex is hitting on the key points here.

On the eye contact thing, if the rest of you seems solidly attractive enough, you can pull of "sexy shy" to very good effect with women. A big part of that is breaking eye contact down. If I'm just talking about it quick, I'll say, "Don't do that," because anyone from beginner to intermediate who breaks eye contact down usually does it in a way that comes across as submissive and he's lost. But once a guy's got everything more-or-less solid, this is a way of taking a man who might otherwise be overwhelming and out of a girl's league and making him more vulnerable and attainable.

On warmth, like Alex is talking about - it's got to be about what you want. Think, "Warm but firm." Be considerate, but not to the point that you're over-investing, or letting people off the hook, or making a girl feel good in a situation where you should not.

The warmer you are, the faster you need to be moving and the more investment from women you need to be getting - on the plus side, the warmer you are, the easier it generally is to get those things.

Couple warmth with moving fast and investment, and going solidly for what you want and not sidetracking that for anyone, and you've got a winning combination.

Chase

Enochian's picture

Hey Chase,

Another powerful post man, I was just thinking, Why don't you post some compilation of these smooth videos for us to watch on and get something. You know man, some links, or whatever. I've read almost everything from your sight, but I guess, I wasn't really expose to some live on the field seductions, due to some reasons and not some "Cause I need to trick my mind." reasons. HAHA. I just guess it might be helpful.

Thanks man,

Enochian

The real truth is to be the truth that you yourself have journeyed to discover.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Enochian,

Good suggestion - the main hurdle to it is simply the availability of good clips online for this kind of thing.

I went looking for a few scenes I liked from a few different movies, but a lot of them simply aren't available - probably the movie companies DMCA'ing clips that are getting posted, which is well within their rights to do. Of course, that limits the ability of someone to post up links.

We do have a few articles up on movie seductions though, if you're up for actually going and grabbing a copy of the film - Ricardus has a 3-part series on 4 different movies starting here:

"Epic Movie Seductions: Part I"

Cheers,
Chase

Anonymous's picture

Chase,

In terms of movies, I would highly recommend Wong Kar Wai's 2046; not only is it a wonderful film, but the protagonist's smoothness and confidence is pretty incredible. It would also be a helpful example for Asian guys out there.

A.J.'s picture

Hey Chase I wanted to know if you could point me to some articles that give steps to eliminate jester behaviors or if you could give some steps to help me eliminate Jester behaviors. I know the last thing you want to be seen as is the "funny guy" jester. Any help is appreciated. Thanks.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hi A.J.,

Got you covered - have a look through these articles; each of them addresses being too funny or clever in one way or another:

Best,
Chase

A.J.'s picture

Thanks Chase. I think this is probably one of those things a lot of guys struggle with for different reasons.

Lupo's picture

Chase, you are a true champ. All your material has really helped with confidence. I have started reading "How to Make a Girl Chase" and plan to start doing the homework assignments once the semester ends ;)

I would be extremely interested in seeing a post about moving abroad, going on that next adventure, getting out of your comfort zone, and "making it all up as you go."

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lupo,

Great to hear on the homework. Going out and doing assignments like this makes some pretty solid impact - you won't even realize the effect it'll have until you go and start doing it and see for yourself.

On moving abroad - sure. I have a post up on it here already:

Meet Women More Easily: Location

... although that ones more on the reasons WHY you might want to change locations, and not so much about the dynamics of actually doing so. I'll see what I can do on that latter one.

Cheers,
Chase

Anonymous's picture

guys, you really make men`s life better with the job you are doing. yes, im not good looking, in fact slightly below average but with what im learning here im at least getting somewhere. without this site i would have long given up though im going out only for a month. i`ve invested so much emotionally in getting my private life on track i wont give up. no way.

but it`s just shocking how much people doing very well in other areas of life can suck BIG TIME with women - including me. how the hell did we end up here?

even if a girl is CLEARLY interested in you and is so obvious you cant even miss we can be completely unable to lead a simple conversation. and not because she doesnt like you but for whatever reason and you just want to get the hell outta there asap. or you score a last 5% fail which i find funny rather than annoying.

i just find almost impossible to find common ground. it is the most difficult thing in life i`ve ever seen and trust me, i`ve been through a lot.

Eric Reeves's picture

I've been here. Really. If you've read my article on weight loss you'll know, I was at the bottom when it comes to looks / social life.

I fixed it, and I escaped, and it makes me so entirely happy when I see others attempting the same.

You may not be in the same situation, or hole I was in. You may have to climb quite a bit higher (and others less), and maybe your world has a sky that's not quite as high.. but the feeling is the same.

Liberate yourself,
Eric

Anonymous.'s picture

People who really like each other get nervous. Talking about anything shows that you like her and as 2 adults you should be able to talk about something. Create a new set of common ground this way and both get more comfortable.

student of the game's picture

hi chase i am considring reading the books "think like a man" and "40 shades of gray" but i am not sure what its effect will be on me .what do you think?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Student,

I honestly don't know, haven't read either one. If you're curious though, I don't see why not to have a look; although, you may want to read some reviews on Amazon first and see what men have to say about these. If you detect any anger / bitterness / resentment / vitriol, it might be something that's not written to appeal to men and may be better just to stay away from for your own sake. But if there isn't anything like that... march on, I suppose?

Also, reading popular romance novels can give you a fuller picture of the kinds of things women fantasize about and find appealing. If you can, do some reading on Byronic characters, too - women tend to be most drawn toward the "bad guy in need of saving" Byron uses.

Cheers,
Chase

Kb's picture

Thanks for another great article Chase.

Was wondering if you'll ever get around to making an article dedicated to club game in particular?

This seems to be my issue right now. I've improved leaps and bounds, but club game still presents a bunch of problems to me.

First, unlike day game or more passive night game(lounges and stuff), girls have been opened countlessly and are much less responsive.

Secondly, groups. In day game, it is a lot easier to find single targets. Not so in clubs, which is why I still stick to opinion openers on groups. It works fairly well, but I have trouble isolating after opening a group. A lot of time, my friends would tell me the next day that so and so girl was looking for me after I left, and I feel I'm missing out on a lot of opportunities.

Third, sprezzatura. It is hard to give that appearance when you are dancing, so I've stopped dancing in clubs. It makes it a bit harder to meet girls.

Fourth, loud music. It is hard, almost impossible to deep dive or even conversate properly when surrounded by such an ADHD environment, but it is also hard to get a girl to come home when you two don't know each other that well.

Sooo, I was wondering if you had any advice for proper club gaming?

Franco's picture

Hey Kb,

Club game is actually where I meet most of the women that I pick up as I am heavily into electronic music and frequent night clubs with popular DJs.

Generally, you want to hang around the bar area if you can. Find a place to post up where you have a good view of who is around you and where everyone around you has a good view of you. Girls often break off from their groups to order drinks at the bar, which is the perfect opportunity to open on them. Also, you can pinpoint which girls (that happen to be standing in groups) are seemingly disinterested with the conversation their friends are having and are somewhat "looking" to be approached. Sometimes they could be playing with their phones, and other times they could be looking around at "cute guys." This is a good opportunity to make strong eye contact.

On a last note, I use the loud music heavily to my advantage. When I first speak to a girl, I'll wait for the response. When she gives it (regardless of whether I actually hear her or not), I'll turn my head and use my hand to signal her to come closer, implying that I can't hear her -- Boom. Easy beginning compliance. You can also use this opportunity to put your hand on her back as she speaks into your ear to break the touch barrier, but this is optional.

These are just some of the ways to approach club game, but there are definitely others. Most will agree though, including Chase, that dance floor game is not the way to go.

Hope this helps!

- Franco

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey KB,

Sure, I can do a post on that sometime. I'm a nightclub guy by origin - most of my game was learned in nightclubs. I didn't migrate out to street and day game until much later (when I realized that yes, you really do meet higher quality women there than you do in nightclubs), although I dabbled plenty before.

Until that post goes up, just bear in mind that a lot of things on the site - like the article on "Breaking Circle," or the one on "Locking In," or "5 Essential Insights on How to Meet Girls in Groups," and a bunch more - are primarily stemming from things I developed from club game (though I've typically fleshed most of them out to be more applicable to other styles of game as well).

And, Franco's got an awesome post above - lots to go on there for now!

But I'll have a post up specifically on clubs at some point in the not too distant future.

Cheers,
Chase

Balla's picture

Thanks guys for your replies, so if you don't know any black actors chase, do you know any smooth black guys at all like athletes, guys in the entertainment industry or even the president? A few people that I think act
cool Idk about if their smooth, are Michael Jordan, diddy, and the president. What are your thoughts?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Balla,

Obama's definitely got "smooth" on lock. Ever see the clip of him smacking a fly with his bare hands on TV? Smooth.

Diddy, I don't know. He may have changed since I was last paying attention - haven't been plugged into mainstream pop culture since about 2002 or so - but he always seemed a little too tryhard to me. He seems to think if he can just surround himself with enough cool people, and enough cool toys, and enough cool places, THEN he'll be cool. And I heard he was pretty messed up when J-Lo left him (and that he spent a lot of time trying to get her back), which does not suggest he has his stuff together. As his late friend Biggie put it, "I don't chase 'em, I replace 'em." Diddy must've missed that lesson from Big.

Michael Jordan I haven't seen much of, but everything I have he seems like a smooth guy, yes. He knows he's on the top of the pile, and he isn't playing it down, or acting like he's a god because of it, or scrambling to hold onto his power, however long it lasts. He's just enjoying it, and being real about it. And he's got a very authentic, in-control, "nothing much fazes me" vibe, for sure.

I'd say Obama, definitely (when he's well-rested and not worn out from 36 hours straight of dealmaking or crisis handling, that is), and Michael Jordan, most probably. P. Diddy... probably not though.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

An Asian girl friend has told me that Chad Ochocinco is very charming. You can get a lot of clips of him from dancing with the stars.

Vaughn 's picture

Hey chase how long does it take for each stage? Like from beginner to intermediate to adavanced? What's the time frame to reach each stage? And how can I talk louder without yelling? I always hear that I talk low and mumble, even though I feel like I talk very loud. How can I find the right volume to talk and how can I stop mumbling? And should i always try to act smooth even when im not around girls? Thank you!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Howdy Vaughn-

Lot of questions there.

How long someone spends on learning depends primarily on how much experience he has coming in, and how much experience he's getting in the meantime - e.g., are you going out twice a week and approaching four new girls each time, or four times a week and approaching fifteen new girls each time? You'll have dramatically different learning curves depending on which one you are.

For me, I spent maybe a year and a half or two years in the beginner stage. Probably two years in intermediate. I'd say I wasn't really advanced smooth until late 2009 or early 2010... that was when things started really going smoothly and naturally the vast majority of the time for me.

Voice: focus on articulation (draw out your vowels, hit your consonants hard) and target your words at your listener's ears. You'll find you can amplify it that way.

And yes, anything you're working on, you should work on all the time; it gets you into a habit and rewrites your defaults.

-Chase

Walls's picture

I truly appreciate all the work you do breaking this down, Chase. It would be so easy to just own this info you learned from years of trial and error and just monopolize it. I was thinking about smoothness in conflict due to this life-changing post and it got me thinking: when do you let comments/threats/faux paus/annoyances roll down your back, and when do you actually put opposers in their place? And what is the best way to ignore when people make fauxpas, such as the ones in your article "Faux Pas of the Social Neveaux." (maybe more faux pas listed too?)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hi Walls,

That's an interesting question. I've seen some research on combativeness in people, and I have a personal theory that interpersonal combativeness is rooted in a mental calculation of the possible gains vs. the potential losses. For instance, depressed, low-self esteem men are often very combative, probably because they have low downside by comparison (little to lose) but high upside (defeat the right opponent, and your star potentially rises, e.g., as in politics). And as you begin becoming more successful, you attract more and more people who want to make a name for themselves by fighting you, but the potential gains to you from engaging these challengers often become smaller and smaller, and the risks (lost time, wasted effort, etc.) begin to really add up, disincentivizing you from engaging with them.

Anyway, it's quite an interesting topic - I'll get a post up on it (maybe today / tomorrow).

As for faux pas, it's generally better just to pretend these didn't happen, unless they're bothering everyone. If it's small, you can pretend you didn't notice. If someone's doing something repeatedly and being annoying or intrusive however, you can either excuse yourself (and take the girl you're talking to along with you), or ask the offender if they'd mind toning it down a bit.

Cheers,
Chase

M's picture

Hi Chase - wonderful post as always. I noticed that I automatically get physically nervous before many social interactions (I realize a girl is about to look at me, I'm about to go into a room of people), i.e. my heart starts beating faster, and I start sweating a bit. I've gotten much better at relaxing my body and face in general (thanks to voice work), but do you know a good way to get past this?

If you don't mind, I have two quick questions about fashion: Where do you recommend buying clothes on a budget? I feel uncomfortable spending $40 on a shirt, especially as I am a student. And what do you do with all of your old clothes as you improve your wardrobe? Thanks a bunch.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hi M,

On the physical nervousness - partly just going through enough social interactions of the sort that make you nervous will rid you of this - eventually your reptile brain learns you're not going to catch a mastodon tusk to the gut or a spear to the kidney for talking to people, and it eases up on pressing the "Red Alert!" button every time you ready yourself to engage with someone new.

Another thing you can do in the meantime is mindfulness and a little meditation, however. Train yourself to focus on your breathing, and to shut out thoughts of the past or imaginings of the future. Force yourself to be totally present, and these fears remain impossible to hold onto, because they don't exist in the present - only in some imagined future (that probably never happens) in your mind.

On budget clothes: second-hand stores can be a good bet, as can outlets and sometimes vintage clothes stores for some interesting items (sometimes inexpensive, sometimes not). The Internet's also a great place for bargains - eBay, Amazon, Overstock, etc. - you just have to look around a bit.

Old clothes you can either discard or, if you have a lot of them, donate somewhere like the Salvation Army (or, if you need the cash, sell to a second-hand store that will purchase your clothes and resell them).

Cheers,
Chase

XChaser's picture

Hi Chase,
Thank you very much for a nice detail construct to be smooth. U r really God send for men to deal with Modern Woman with all the dynamics changing 2 there advantage.
I was suprised that you honered my request , did'nt even thought you would read all comments.
Thank you again.
U blogs are a must for any young guy.

thanks
XChaser

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Don't mention it, xChaser - glad you felt the post answered your question.

I've been trying to keep on top of comments lately, although yeah - there are a lot to keep up with!

Anyway, yeah, lots of newer dynamics - but a lot of its tied to the same core underlying principles (things like effort and investment and momentum, etc.) - you get those things going right and everything else snaps into place.

Best,
Chase

JFav's picture

Hey Chase,

I've been reading a book called "Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life" and it's a book about honesty and truly living an authentic life. It's so far been great because it talks about a lot of the things you spoke about in posts on depression and anxiety.

Things like accepting your fear and acknowledging it come up a lot. So far, it's been an interesting read and a lot of the techniques and skills the author lists out are things I want to do on a regular basis. Because I think that getting better with women in general will be easier if I'm able to be more authentic about who I am.

Anyways, enough "intro" and background on what brought me to this thought. I was recently thinking of asking you of what you think of me going out and doing the "wrong" things when it comes to picking up women. Like for instance I know from reading that saying something like "Hey I'm really nervous right now but I really thought you were cute and I thought 'hey I'd rather be nervous then pass up the opportunity to get to know you' so... Hi, my name is Jon." might not be the greatest opener.

I'm sure trimming off "I'm nervous.." and the whole explanation of what's going inside my mind is probably unnecessary to the girl. But, my thought was that maybe for me this might be a good option.

Not so much for the girl's sake but more for me you know? It allows me to say exactly what my "truth" is and expose my banana so to speak. Lay myself out there for all to see and I think just feeling that and going through that experience would be helpful in and of itself.

Because then if it fails or if I notices it's not working on the girls I want then can see the failure for what it is and say "okay what can I do to improve." Then that's when I'm in a space to be more open to receiving your material.

This has been my experience because sometimes I need to fail "my way" in order to open up to another way of doing things. So, I'm asking you is this a productive way for to me to handle things if I've come to realize I work like that? Or, would it be more efficient to just do what you say no questions asked? haha

I ask you because I'm sure you've been in this situation or can relate to it at least. I'm slowly learning myself through your site and all the other knowledge I'm accumulating from my other readings too. And, I feel like "hey why pass up an opportunity to ask an expert like Chase" because if there's anyone I should ask I think it should be you. Especially when it comes to this field for sure.

I guess this is like an extension of my comment on "failures and opportunities" but with the contrarian coming out lol

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey J,

By all means, you SHOULD try out whatever you feel like trying out! That's the only way you get any kind of certainty in your head that, "Okay, I should DEFINITELY do this and definitely NOT do this!"

I think you'll find that telling girls you're nervous when you are nervous is going to take much of what edge or sex appeal you might have and throw it in the gutter... but it will get seemingly better reactions from women, much of the time. The only thing I'd advise you to be wary of in that case is not confusing seemingly "good" reactions like a girl treating you like you're "cute" and "nice" with things that actually translate into results with women, like getting a girl investing or coming along with you.

So, try out whatever you want, but make sure you're escalating investment from girls as you do, as that's your only real indicator that something is working. Otherwise, it's easy to get fooled into thinking you've found something more effective because it seems to get you better receptions, only to spend a lot of time on it and end up frustrated that none of these girls convert.

Keep focusing on getting ever-increasing amounts of investment (until the two of you are lovers), and this won't be an issue you'll struggle with, because you'll know right away, "Okay, when I don't tell girls I'm nervous, they usually move with me when I tell them to, but when I do say I'm nervous most of the time they hem and haw and give me some kind of excuse, even though they sure act a lot nicer."

Chase

Pete's picture

Hi Chase,

Thanks for putting this article up! I've always struggled with my height and it has significantly impacted my confidence levels in all aspects of life no matter how hard I try to fight it. I know this shouldn't be an excuse though.

If you are of average height to above average, there are definitely more examples in society (media, film) to model yourself than of below average height. I think we can agree on that.

You mentioned being acquainted with a 5'3 salesman who was the first 'smooth guy' you met and a 5'6 friend in California. What were some traits they embodied that allowed them to compensate, or even synergize, their lack of height? What would be your advice for short people (I'm 5'5) in their journey to find true confidence and zest?

I know you're a pretty tall guy (6ft?) but I'm confident in your insight and non-judgmental spirit to relate to this.

Thanks

Pete

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Pete,

5'10"'s the average in U.S., and I'm right smack at 6'00", so normally consider that average. But I realize if you're at 5'6" that can seem tall by comparison (at least, according to a 5'6" buddy of mine, who keeps telling me he's going to get his shins sawn - obviously, not the same as the guy in California who does more than all right with girls!).

Every short guy I've known who was good with women had these things in common:

  • Very "socially agreeable" - e.g., quick, easy laugh, a lot of backslaps, and big grins
  • Frequent "ball busting" - charismatic short guys have been some of the best guys I've known at busting other people's stones, slapping them on the back and laughing it off, and then the bustee not even realizing until later that he totally had his stones busted and the buster made himself look like a champ calling the shots socially in the process
  • Strong leadership qualities - more assertive leadership, and more, "Let's do it," "Let's go!" emphatic, taking-charge type declarations

One good shorter role model is Tom Cruise, at 5'7.75". He has a lot of the same traits as my shorter friends, although he doesn't laugh or ball-bust quite as much (though this may be because he's a bit taller than them).

My guess is the reason shorter guys can get away with more ball-busting and back-slapping is that if a big guy's doing it, it's intimidating; but if a shorter guy's doing it, it's just intimidating enough for him to close the gap between his height and a taller guy who isn't doing those things. Actually, when a shorter guy is good at these things, it can be harder for a taller guy to compete, because taller guys who try to outlay as much energy as shorter guys can end up looking outlandish and silly.

Shorter guys can run laps around taller guys, be more energetic, and make more demands on women more quickly all while looking totally natural, while the taller guy needs to be calmer or else it seems like there's something "off" about him. If I had to pinpoint the greatest advantage of being short, that'd be it.

Chase

BananaManCanDance's picture

Hi Chase,

One of my friends is an innately super-excited, contagiously "over-the-top" guy. It is impossible not to smile when he is around. However, this personality of his goes directly against the principles of being smooth that you've outlined above, e.g. tamping down on enthusiasm / reactions and having minimal effort. I tend to agree with this advice - but does that mean this friend of mine is innately unable to be smooth, or is there a specific demeanor with which he can make it work? Thoughts?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Banana Man,

That is quite possibly the most interesting username anyone has ever used to comment on this website.

I've seen a few over the top guys who managed to come off smooth. This needs to be modulated with a mixing in of much lower key, intense bursts of seductive smoothness, which can be sandwiched in between bouts of dynamism... see just about any Chris Tucker performance for an example of this (e.g., the ridiculous Ruby Rod in The Fifth Element). Tucker does a great job of every now and then dialing his boundless enthusiasm down into some smoldering sensuality, and then suddenly exploding again into hilarious energetic fervor. He's probably the best I've seen at combining smoothness and enthusiasm, although it isn't always a perfect mix. But it's about as close as you can get with that much energy.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

How exactly is steadiness practiced? I don't get to know ahead of time when I'll be in an emotional situation, or when my neural circuits will be flooded. Nor do I know how to stop them from being flooded, or how to not be nervous, jittery, and unsure. How specifically does one practice this without experience in the situations, as you state?

Mr. David's picture

Hi chase,
Great article here...I was wondering, can acting like James Bond get you more attraction with women? or is that all just tv/movie fantasy stuff? If so, which actor from the James Bond series do you think is best? Thank you again for all your articles.

TheHood's picture

All the info is great and really helpful...

jb007's picture

Mr.Chase, I had gone through several of your articles and just don't know why I scratched my head thinking if your these nuances work only on western girls or Indian girls too. That might be a silly one but I had some personal issues reg. the same and realized to share with u.

Jeddy's picture

Hey bro, appreciate your work,......(before I get back to being smooth Lol man you are the best you deserve an award for how you are helping ignorant men to be better not just with women but in life, man you're the best)......you're doing a great job.

Jason Alexander's picture

Hey Chase,

I was wondering where you get your photos from in this site. I;m be interested in booking.

zejie's picture

i really dislike websites like this. i am a very highly desirable man that has women constantly throwing themselves at me all day. people call me "smooth" but i dont think im doing anything really.

the reason i dislike articles like this because youre pretty much telling them to be the branches, rather than the tree.

smoothness comes from a life philosophy that one lives from. the traits that youre telling men to reproduce here simply arise from the philosophy that the man lives from.

the man with the right life philosophy oozes smooth because he is smooth. what youre trying to do here is teach men how to be smooth by giving them the end product of something rather than building the tree first...

Franco's picture

zejie,

It sounds like you're jumping to conclusions, here. There are many articles on this website that teach you how to "build the tree" (so to speak) so that you can start from the beginning.

This would be like going to up a successful investor who is giving a seminar for the best way to invest your millions of dollars and saying, "you aren't instructing people how to make the first million dollars, which is more important" but in reality, this investor knows very well how to make the first million. However, his seminar isn't for that. If you want to learn how to make the first million, you'll need to look elsewhere or go to another one of his seminars where he specifically talks about making the first million dollars.

Same thing here. I would look around the website first and things related to socializing and fundamentals, and you'll see that the "trunk" of the tree is clearly discussed from the bottom up. In other words, this article is best suited for guys who are already intermediate with women.

- Franco

Ray's picture

As I read this article Mufasa comes to mind.

He's cool calm and collected, while everyone else around him overreacts (ie Zazu)

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