Sexy Body Language for Men (Learned from Hot Girls) | Girls Chase

Sexy Body Language for Men (Learned from Hot Girls)

I thought this would be a fun article to write.

If you haven't spent much time learning body language and expressions from the very sexy and attractive women you meet, you've been missing out on a valuable source of highly applicable lessons in being sexy, seductive, and downright charming. Pretty women might seem like an odd place to learn about men's body language, but they are, in fact, one of your most invaluable sources of preciously good information.

body language for men

In "How Much Do Looks Matter for Romantic Success?" I mentioned learning how to do well with girls mostly from guys who were seemingly naturally good with women. One of the biggest differences between these guys and other guys, I feel like, is that these guys usually have game that mimics that of women.

They get good by essentially taking what women do with them, and doing it right back toward women.

Many of the things on this site that constitute some of my bigger contributions to "game tech" (e.g., deep diving, pre-opening, Law of Least Effort, etc.) are partly or wholly drawn from adapting things I've watched women do with me and others.

I won't review the larger items here I've already covered in detail in other articles on the site - instead, this article will be focused on small little things you can do, that you might not have been aware of, that women do to you all the time and that are just as effective when you do them back. I've broken them down here into two classes: the physical, and facial expressions.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

GET CHASE’S MASTERY PACKAGE

Get Your FREE eBook on Texting Girls

how to text girls pdf

Sign up for our email insights series and get a copy of our popular ebook "How to Text Girls" FREE. Learn more ...

Related Articles from GirlsChase.com

Comments

Knight's picture

You're beasting out the articles Chase!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Thanks Knight ;)

Al's picture

Two questions chase. As quite an anxious person I carry a lot of tension in my face and look scared/aggressive all to often any tips on how to correct this? Secondly I recall in an article on voice you said you got your voice to a "should be on the radio standard". How specifically did you do this? Voice is the main fundemental I struggle with, did you follow a programme?

Best wishes, Al

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Al-

Tense facial muscles / a scary appearance is definitely one to handle, and the only way to do it is forcing yourself to pay attention to your body language and train it over a period of time. Start by forcing your eyebrows to be raised higher and your mouth to be in a more relaxed slight smile. You'll have to monitor your face and keep fixing your expressions for the first month or so, and it'll even feel like you're doing work to keep your face that way. Eventually, your muscles become accustomed to holding your face in that position, and going back to the old scary / tense positions feels like work. You'll spend 4 to 8 weeks vigilantly monitoring yourself and correcting it though, so do be prepared for that and don't get discouraged when your face keeps tensing up again after the first week.

On voice, I go into it in some detail here: Book Excerpts: Get a Sexy Voice, and a bit more in the book. Mainly, the way I did it (and the way most people do it, I reckon) is just starting to talk like someone you want to sound like, and doing that until that becomes your default way of talking. It'll feel odd at first, but, just like the facial muscles, you'll get used to it. You can also seek out voice coaches, who can help; although you'll need to do some research, as most voice coaches are focused on training you how to sing well, rather than speak well. Another option is recording yourself and listening to your voice and refining - I spent a fair amount of time recording Hip-Hop music in university, and it forced me to become very articulate in order to have a crisp-sounding voice over the music.

Chase

AJ's picture

Hi Chase, good job on the article I think this is a very important aspect of game that is commonly overlooked. I have seen great results from even minor changes in body language though I think newer guys may find it hard to read a woman's subtle reactions to their body language. Anyways, I have a situation I'm in at the moment and am hoping you could clue me in on what to do. I have phrased it as if you were in the situation:

If you were to meet 3 highly attractive women (who are sisters) who work in a restaurant that you started frequenting and below is how they usually react to you, who would you escalate on?

Girl A: Always chatty, gives you light kino and is always smiling, you very often catch her looking at you. Hinted that Girl B has a thing for you.

Girl B: Not as chatty but always smiling and you ALWAYS catch her staring at you when she doesn't think you can see her, so much so that a friend you go with has noticed and pointed it out more than once. Girl B had a regrettable look on her face when she told you she has a man (because you saw a ring on her finger and questioned if she was married)

Girl C: Quiet but constantly looks your way.

here's the questions:

1) Do they just see you as a customer and are trying to string you along in hopes that you will keep frequenting their joint? (bear in mind that after having compared the way they treat their other horde of male clientelle, you notice they are much warmer and receptive to you and also more flirty)

2) You currently flirt with all of them lightly, though you need to escalate on one. Problem is if you escalate on the wrong one who is not keen on cheating on her bf with you, you lose the rest of them as they will not want to be seen as the second choice especially to their own sister. Personally, all these women meet your criteria on what you want in a lady and not just in the physical sense. So who do you ask out on a date?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

AJ-

I almost feel like I should answer this one in a parable. I don't know why.

What you want to do in an ideal world is get into another situation where chatty Girl A is talking about how Girl B likes you again, and then you want to ask the following questions:

  • She has a fiancé, doesn't she?

  • Do you think I should go for her anyway?

  • [if yes] How should I go about getting things going with her?

  • You won't tell her any of this now, will you? I don't want her feeling like there's a lot of pressure or anything.

If you can ask those questions, you get the intel you need: whether Girl B is really serious about the fiancé, whether she'll be open to your advances regardless of the fiancé if you make any (or whether she's too committed to him and is considering this more a harmless flirtation), and whether it's going to cause a lot of hoopla.

Remember, you're not saying, "Can I go for her?" you're saying, "Do you think I should go for her?" You're getting Girl A to give you her opinion on what she thinks you should do.

When Girl A told you Girl B liked you, she was probably trying to push you to do something. She's behaving like the Mother Hen who's decided you aren't quite exciting or dominant enough for her, but might be just right for her friend / sister (and that's no judgment on you; you can come off very different ways in different circumstances with different people).

If Girl A ends up telling you not to go for Girl B, that's the green light you need to angle for Girl C instead.

If you're not sure how to resume the conversation with Girl A about Girl B, you can ask Girl A, "Hey Girl A, is Girl B still crushing on me? I'm still catching the odd flirty glance here and there. Or do I just think too highly of myself?"

Chase

AJ's picture

That's a brilliant reply Chase, thank you. I'll try that out when I next see them, keep up the great work!

Anonymous's picture

Great article Chase.

There’s particular people you mention recurrently on this site for having great body language/vibe; George Clooney, Brad Pitt, James Bond (Sean Connery, but also Pierce Brosnan), and Val Kilmer.

I want to model myself on one of these, so that I act the way they do, move the way they do etc, and I can then project my own personality onto the solid fundamentals I have taken from them.

Who do you consider to have the best body language/vibe, out of all of these?

Thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

For this one, it really comes down to your own personal choice. Throw George, Brad, Sean, Pierce, and Val onto a dating show and ask a girl to choose, and who's she going to go for? I think the pick at that point is going to depend very much on the girl's individual preferences.

I couldn't do Brad Pitt, for instance, because he's got this kind of "sad guy" feel to him that's just a little too down for me. A Sean Connery or a Val Kilmer is closer to my preferred style - smooth, but with a hint of playfulness and this rebellious streak. George Clooney is a bit too mainstream for me - he's edgy, but in a "your cool older brother who's good with a screwdriver" kind of edgy rather than a "travels the world seducing women and getting himself into and out of trouble" kind of edgy.

However, if you have more of the sad, mysterious vibe going on, Brad Pitt's a better fit for you. Or if you're more of an everyman type of guy, George Clooney fits better. If you're a bit of a jokester, a Pierce Brosnan or a Ryan Reynolds, both of whom like to ham it up, will work well.

You'll almost certainly have a natural inclination toward some of these actors when you watch them - it's the guy you watch and you say to yourself, "That guy is just COOL. That's what I want to be like when I've got my stuff all bolted down tight." Whereas other guys, you'll watch and say, "Yeah, he's chill, but not really my style."

If you're not sure what "type" appeals to you most, spend some time watching different actors, and pay close attention to your own emotional reactions to them. When you find an actor that gives you that feeling - like, "That's basically a cooler version of me doing all the stuff I want to do," you know you've found someone you can model yourself after.

Chase

Zac's picture

Omg Chase.

My secret. The pivot turn. Gah!!! Mind u, not exactly pivot turn but i do it like that much in slow motion and ppl notice it. :)

Zac

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Zac-

It's times like this you wish you could patent body movements, isn't it?

Chase

Zac's picture

Chase,

Never really a fan of patent, Maybe i don't know business that much, but Remember the time where the internet shuts down a few days because of SOPA? and people gather people to stop piracy act? Something related, here, i thought of guys in general like us, and every man in the world, and why a lot of men try to do all the "stops" to other guys stealing their girlfriends, or girls whom are not theirs, yet. One can only do so much to prevent, (anything, from a girl talking to other girls about you being their boyfriend, to getting other guys trying to cockblock and people taking value from you. )

Given an example like Samsung, where it's colour in its phones that are so hard to imitate, because it's so vivid and clear. Even the China brands find it hard. (Not to discredit China, but Samsung done a good job, ) and for Girlschase, you done something like this as well.

Also, I'm quite astonished, Chase. Your ability to redirect energy is brilliant. It's like knowing when to be evasive, when to draw line, when to redirect negativity.

Abit off topic, Back to top, We discredit ourselves too much, and we often forget that no matter how much game we all have, if we don't really believe we have something to offer, and in Girlschase terminology, If you don't believe what you learn here, and you don't blend it with who you are and what you do, you can never really have the "BE" effect. It applies to other field as well. (and now i speak like a Professor! who has a Master Degree.)

As to your question, Sheesh... i be having numbers all over my body. Ahaks.

Zac

Funman's picture

Hey chase, once again a very informative article.

My questions are

1) Is there any particular movie character whose presence would be similar to your style of Game/ Vibe?

I can't imagine Van Wilder coz he is not mysterious nor James Bond because I have not seen Bond approaching women by giving them compliments......

I am assuming Oliver Martinez in Unfaithful. Check out the trailer if you haven't watched the movie. This movie shows the guy in the "lover" category as you write in your articles...........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ugMFufTB8c

2) I do not believe in the rating scale either regarding 9s and 10s etc.
But for the sake of my question how often do attractive girls get approached in your opinion? attractive meaning (girls who are considered 6-10)

I do know that girls who are attractive are constantly given compliments and favors from guys in their social circle. ( specially on facebook, if she posts a new picture, so many guy friends would say , you are gorgeous etc)
Guys are always helping attractive girls by carrying their bags in the grocery store/ laundromat etc......

But my question how often do they actually get approached? (cold approach) . From my observation , I am assuming hardly ever....

I have even asked this question from girls they say , they don't get approached...... (unless its some drunk dude at the bar saying "hey gorgeous, or guys approaching them at the dance floor).

3) In the previous article you talked about guys who are "naturals". From my observation the style of game of a "natural" may vary from which part of the world he comes from.

From my observation someone from Europe usually is giving compliments to the girls like the guy from the movie Unfaithful.

However, naturals which I have seen in the US , these are guys who are Van Wilder type of guys, social animals, life of the party i've not seen them giving compliments to girls or at least open with compliments.

There is such such a big difference among the kind of guys who do well with women.

On one hand there is Mr mysterious seducer constantly giving compliments showing overt interest on the other hand guys (these are guys in the US) who are social animals who never show overt interest, carefree social guys. Mr social just out there to have a good time and in the process meets a girl , one thing leads to the other she is joining him for an after party etc.....

What are your thoughts for a guy who is a student of dating whom shall he emulate?

4) My understanding is being socially charming is different than being seductively charming.
What are the characteristics of a charming guy when it comes to seducing women specifically ?

Thanks so much for such an amazing website.

Sincerely,

Funman

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Funman-

You're right - those are some good questions... made me think a bit, too!

I'm closer to a Sean Connery / Val Kilmer style. There's a combination of the sexual vibe and good conversation with a mix of sexual teasing and jokey flirting, and I'm acting faux surprised / faux hurt a lot, but in a calm voice that makes it clear she hasn't actually affected me emotionally. It's about showing her that I'm calmly enjoying myself, while toying with her, while not being affected by the things that send most men running for the hills.

As for whom YOU ought to emulate, well, that very much depends on your own default style. I have friends who are bursting with energy, and one of those guys trying to emulate Sean Connery is going to make a mess of it. However, him doing Van Wilder may fit just right. As with the comment a few above yours, my recommendation is that you watch different film actors, and wait to find one that you're able to say, "Yeah, that's me, in a few years with better fundamentals and a more excellent lifestyle."

How often girls actually get approached depends on what kinds of environments they're in. If they're party girls and regularly go to bars, nightclubs, and parties, they get hit on pretty often, although the caliber of man is generally not that high. If they NEVER go to parties or events, on the other hand, they may only get approached a few times a week in most cities, even if they're very attractive. In fact, in my experience, the most beautiful girls get approached less than the ones who are just cute, supposedly because most normal men are too intimidated by them to approach.

As far as social vs. seductive - that's one that deserves an article in its own right. Great distinction to make. I'll see about getting one up. But I can tell you right now, the main difference is that a man who's socially charming is all about upping the fun and building connections with as many people as possible, while the man who's seductively charming is zeroed in on just one person - and she feels pretty special because of it.

Chase

smooth's picture

Great article chase.I will soon be visiting a country in eastern europe and am going to try to implement your advice from your foreign women article,im a little confused though,in that article you say that it actually hurts you to learn the language of the country your visiting,and then you say that you need to lead women even more so because of language barrier.But in the leading women article most of the tips are about leading verbally?,conversationally and so on..Can you give me some specifc examples of leading a women non verbally in a place like a bar or club,or even the street in a foregn country?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Smooth-

Excellent to hear! I have a few friends in Eastern Europe right now, and they're having blasts over there. Plenty of beautiful women in many parts of EE. Depending on which country and which city, there are varying levels of English in Eastern Europe, the capital cities necessarily having more English speakers.

On leading sans words, see this article, of which about the second half or so is devoted primarily to leading women who don't speak your language:

Nonverbal Attraction and Getting Girls Without Words

Chase

lucifer7's picture

"Foreign girls" for you would be all the world minus USA, a bit of a broad pool for tailoring behaviour, and that even allowing you need to tailor behaviour depending on each specific Country.. :).

Anyway, definitely no shortage of pretty girls around EE.

Write back if you'd like to catch up :).

Balla's picture

Hey Chase, I have a few questions. How does a Guy get verbal tight game and what is verbal type game? is it deep diving, complimenting, or something else? To me it sounds like having a gift a gab. so how do you have verbal tight game and what is it?
I have a low voice and I can't stand it! I talk slow and I talk from my chest, but my voice is very low as in hard of hearing. how can I talk louder without yelling?

Last question is this. I work a lot so I'm mostly at my job, which is at a supermarket. I see some attractive girls but don't know how to approach them. How can I use these girls as practice for my pick up skills without getting in trouble. I really need to do this because I need the experience points and since I'm working all the time I might as well work on it there since I'm there everyday and it'll make it easier for when I'm not at work. I did read your store pick up article, but I don't feel comfortable doing it since everyone pretty much knows me because of my name tag and the fact that I work there. Thanks Chase.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Balla-

Verbal game in my opinion is part witty quips, part insightful pearls of wisdom, and part asking piercing, probing questions (deep diving, conversationalist, eliciting values) and getting others to open up about themselves and show you who they are. I'm planning what will most likely be a monster-sized "how to be funny" article that will talk about being witty in a genuinely socially attractive (i.e., non-try hard / dancing monkey) way. No promises on when that goes up though, as I'll really need a big block of uninterrupted time to write it.

On voice, I have a suspicion you may be depressing your hyoid (a bone in the throat that makes your voice huskier and quieter when depressed by the back of your tongue). I discussed the process voice coaches will take you through to correct this in "Book Excerpts: Get a Sexy Voice" - you can also usually correct it with just one lesson with a voice / singing coach if you tell them what you think the problem is so they can target it in the session.

On grocery stores - I answered your original comment on this here in November; you'll use the same material you'll find in this article: How to Pick Up Girls Shopping for Gifts or Groceries, just modify it a bit for the environment - e.g., be a bit more conservative about whom you approach, and only approach with indirect/humorous and after you've received a signal from a girl that she's interested, so you aren't risking your job.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

If I were to choose a character to model It would be Hank Moody from Californication.

But before I go off and start adapting some of his style into my own I'd appreciate a little feedback on what exactly makes him so appealing to women

You have a knack for deconstructing things, so I'd appreciate some advice on this

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Well, this one came out a little too late for me (I quit TV in 2002), but I used to watch David Duchovny on The X-Files back in the 1990s and I remember he was making quite a stir sleeping his way through Hollywood. He has a very disarming way about him - that same devil may care attitude mentioned in the more recent article - and you'll notice he's always using that same sexy cute look mentioned in the article. In addition to this, he has a very sexy voice with a low rumble / purr to it that women tend to find quite alluring.

I'm sure there's more he's doing in the television show - he wasn't doing a whole lot of seducing in X-Files - but I won't speculate since I haven't seen it. If I ever get to check out a few episodes, though, I'll post an update.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Chase, you've made post on how to pick up girls in many places. So I'd be interested in how to successfully picking up girls at Theme Parks.

-Thanks man

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Honestly, I've never been to a theme park when I wasn't with family or with a girlfriend - I've never tried to meet girls at one of these! I can't imagine there'd be a lot of single / unattached women at them, either - although maybe you're hip to something I don't know.

If anyone else has experience here, feel free to weigh in - you've got me stumped, Anon!

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Another excellent read. Good stuff, man.

I was wondering if you could put out any content on how to deal with with narcissistic, overly selfish women. They're tougher to deal with on some levels and I'd love to see what kind of content you have for how to deal with that type of woman.

Thanks!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Sure - that'd make for a good one. I'll add it to the upcoming articles list.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

hi chase how can a teenager begin to have sex .I am a senior but I don't know where to start? Do I just try and get the hand of it or what?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Check out the discussion boards, particularly the Sex Board - we have a couple of good posts there by guys for beginners.

A few that should help:

First Sex

Sex Tips for Beginners

Chase

Anonymous's picture

I am a high schooler and im wondering how you can make yourself seem sexier and more manly if you still seem young. Are there any younger actors with top-notch nonverbals and fundamentals? It would be nice to have role models at least fifteen years within my own age. And can you elaborate more on the different kinds of sexy vibe? Is there that big of a difference? You mentioned in one of the comments above that some like Ryan Reynolds and Pierce Brosnan are a sort of funny sexy, while Brad Pitt is a sad sexy, and Sean Connery is a smooth sexy. What are some other styles of vibe?
I'm sorry there are a lot of topics I've discussed. But what are your thoughts on these ideas?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Ian Somerhalder is one I'd probably recommend. There was a discussion about him on the boards with a number of examples / videos of him here. You might be surprised at his actual age (he's a fair bit older than he looks), but he normally plays pretty young characters - e.g., in Lost, the Vampire Diaries, etc. He plays a "sad sexy," brooding kind of character... a lost, tormented soul in need of saving. I feel like this is often the best fit with the teenage years - you're too socially unrefined to pull off too much smoothness yet (although you can be playful sexy), and you don't yet have the nuance for properly combining sexiness and too much humor.

On the different kinds of sexy vibe - off the top of my head, it'd be sad/brooding, smooth/playful, funny/smarmy. There might be others, I'd need to sit and give it some thought / page through some examples. Let me add it to the article queue, and I'll see what I can do.

Chase

tayoisrich's picture

I tend to model behavior after Frank Lucas (played by Denzel Washinghton) in the movie American Gangster (Cuba Goodings played Nicky Barnes)... but sometimes I come off as being to "hard"...

I hear voices in my head...

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Tayo-

Denzel is an intense dude - going for his vibe is like grabbing hold of an ICBM. Wildly good results if you point it in the right place, but a lot of collateral damage if your aim is off the mark.

That's the blessing and the curse that is intensity - too much of it focused on not quite the right area, and you're "too hard." Get it right and you end up on the sexiest people in Hollywood list like Denzel is.

That doesn't mean shy away from it though - rather, what you want to do is probably pay more attention to when and how he defuses tension - e.g., one of the things Denzel is great at is controlling the building and release of tension... he'll be staring intense and focused, and the other person will be wondering what he's going to do, and it just hangs in the air... and hangs in the air... and the expectation builds... and then he bursts into a broad, toothy smile and warmly reassures the other person it's fine. I had a schoolmate in college who I'm sure was modeling himself after Denzel, and he'd always do this (build tension, then release it with a huge toothy smile and a friendly demeanor), and he always seemed powerful and charismatic (and he seemed to have no shortage of pretty girls wanting to spend time with him).

Chase

Josh's picture

You didn't mention (although its possible you may have mentioned it on other posts) about a particular eye contact right before closing.

I find that once a girl becomes comfortable with you and decides she likes you, she gives what is almost a direct stare directly into your eyes with a smile. I have found that YOU HAVE TO COPY HER and sustain it confidently. It usually leads to making out and going home with her etc.
Although I found if you don't give her back the same stare, as I did in earlier days (more out of nervousness than anything) than that's an escalation window missed.

Thanks!

Josh

lucifer's picture

Hey Chase, I was just thinking about this popular PUA move of the triangular gazing.

It gives me the feeling it's a bit weak to be used as a "technique" before kissing because it implies you need a technique or a "warm up" before actually going for what you feel like doing -provided the timing is not too wrong of course-.

Add new comment

The Latest from GirlsChase.com