We’re starting a new series of articles intending to highlight some little-known or under-discussed topics in the world of dating and seduction, called Secrets to Getting Girls. This first edition is focused on how fast you move through an interaction with a girl you like, from the time you first meet her until the moment you’re sleeping with her. Hope you enjoy.
Ever have an interaction going really well, with a girl really into you, but then it starts fading, dying away, and eventually she excuses herself and leaves?
You need to move faster.
Ever have a girl chasing you hard, calling you and texting you often, but then after a while the attention dies down, her attraction for you seems to wan, and she even stops responding to your calls and texts?
You need to move faster.
Ever have a girl at your place, into you, maybe even saying sexual stuff or doing sexy things, and you want to make sure the timing’s right so you wait for the right moment, and wait, and when you finally go for it she pushes you away, acts uncomfortable, and eventually leaves?
You need to move FASTER!
Why do girls act into guys, then leave them hanging? Why was she leading you on? Why did she act attracted, put sex on the table, then take it away? It’s because with every woman, there is only a limited window of opportunity to take things and run with them. When she’s still feeling you out, she’ll be tentative and experimental, putting her feelers out there. The men who take action and make things happen are the ones who find success with women.
Look at these famous, well-known sayings:
Fortune favors the bold.
He who hesitates is lost.
Strike while the iron is hot.
I’m sure you can think of a couple more. Think about them as they apply to meeting girls. Who do you think gets more girls -- the guy who hems and haws when a girl shows him attraction? Or the guy who recognizes it when he sees it, and immediately starts moving things forward with his girl?
There is no place in seduction for a man to be tentative or slow.
At best, the slow, tentative man gets slotted firmly into boyfriend / husband territory. That means the girl in question will hold out longer, resist more, and demand more work and investment from him before she even thinks about putting out. She realizes he’s not a play-hard-or-go-home kind of guy, but if she still likes him anyway, she might just give him a shot at providing for her.
At worst, the slow, tentative man gets nothing. His girl loses interest and moves on, in search of a man who goes for what he wants.
We hear this often enough: women want STRONG men. Men who LEAD. Who TAKE ACTION and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. But what we don’t hear so much is that you only have so long to SHOW her you’re that strong man who leads. You only have as long as her window is open.
SO, what can you do? How do you get yourself moving faster?
Here are a few ways to light that fire in your belly, and get yourself moving faster than ever:
• Any time you feel like it’s dragging on and not moving forward, realize that she’s probably feeling the EXACT SAME WAY, and do something about it. Move your interaction to the next level!
• Any time you want to take action, but feel that twang of doubt suggesting that maybe she’s not ready, or maybe she won’t react the way you want, stop, and remind yourself that if you don’t take action, now, when you have the chance to do so, you may very well never get another opportunity from her. Windows only stay open so long, so move, and move faster!
• Move her soon after meeting her. Met her on the street? In a bookstore? In a coffee shop? At a party? At a bar or a nightclub? Move her within ten minutes after meeting her. Faster, if possible, and she's responding well. Try to move every girl you talk to within ten minutes, maximum. The ones who don't want to move you probably weren't going to get anything productive out of anyway; if she seems REALLY into you but won't move (because of friends or some weird circumstance), grab a number and call her later. Hanging around does you no good. And the girls you get to move with you quickly will commit themselves to you -- and their interaction with you -- right away. The earlier this happens, the better.
• Be fast. Don’t wait to call a woman after you meet her. Text her a few hours after you meet her and tell her it’s great to make a new friend and sign your name. Call her the next day and build some rapport. Then call a few days later and ask her out. Get her out with you that same week!
• When she’s in your place, don’t hesitate. Be confident, suave, smooth. Be aggressive. No means no, obviously, but women don’t want timid men hoping they’ll make the first move, either. The first move is yours to make, and the longer you wait, the more awkward it becomes. So make it FAST!
It's crazy when you think about how many women guys lose by moving too slowly. If you're a cool, normal guy, who takes care of himself, grooms himself well, is friendly, outgoing, and sociable, with at least a little bit of sexiness and confidence about you, I guarantee you you will get a lot more girls by moving faster. Is it possible to move too fast? Yes -- depending (enormously) on the girl, the guy, and the situation. Different girls move at different speeds in different situations with different guys. But in my experience, the vast majority of guys lose girls by moving too slow. So, if you've ever had a girl who felt like a sure thing take off because you missed that window, don't get discouraged. Instead, take heed -- and next time,
Update, 15 March 2010:
Be sure to check out this article's follow up, "Move Faster II", right here, for even more tips and techniques on moving faster with women.