The Real Reason Many Men Can't Get a Girl | Girls Chase

The Real Reason Many Men Can't Get a Girl

can't get a girlWhy is it that most men can't seem to get what they want with women? How come so many men can't get a girl?

A few months back, a friend of mine asked me to author a post on leading women. I put it off for a while, because it's not as sexy a topic as, say, opening or locking in or overcoming objections or dating. Leading's just... a little vague, as far as topics go.

Yes, it's good to be an alpha male, and it's good to have a set process you follow, and to move on fast if a girl isn't following along. But how's that all come into play in a cohesive strategy for getting success with women?

If you'd like to achieve anything resembling consistent, reliable success with women, you're quickly going to realize that leaving things purely up to chance isn't going to cut it. "God helps those who help themselves," goes the saying -- which, boiled down, quite basically means that good things come to the people who go out and actively bring good things into their lives.

In other words, success comes to those who engineer that success.

But still, most folks don't bother engineering anything approximating success. Most average folks sit around waiting for success to find them. And it never does.

For success with women to start occuring for a guy, that has to change for him. So what's it take to advance an average man who can't get a girl into a man who consistently can?

Well, among other things, it takes this: he's got to be leading women.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

M's picture

Interesting thoughts, Chase.
I have a question.
What if your genuine desire for date1 is just to talk to her, be a bit sexual, and enjoy yourself with intention to escalate harder and invite her home on date2?
Is that date1 "doing something without a clear goal in mind", or I'm missing the point?

Had that situation a week ago. Went on a date, everything went really good and chill, she was a bit shy, laughing nervously and I didn't want to escalate too hard on date1, after some previous experiences.
She called me next day after the date. I sent her a couple of perverted messages. Then she invited me to go clubbing, I declined and invited her to meet later. After that.. she ignores me. Maybe she got laid that night, who knows, who cares. I think I learned a lesson to always at least try to invite girls home on date1/from club no matter the result. It doesn't make her wonder what your intentions are and it makes her comfortable. The results seem to be always worse when you think you'll do it later.

Thanks for articles, always interesting.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Thanks for the kind words, guys. Much appreciated, and very glad you liked the post.

M, regarding your question about direction on the date and that specific girl-

Those intentions for Date #1 are fine as far as straight-up intentions go, and they're solid and they'll work a fair amount of the time. What ends up happening though (and I say this from experience... I used to plan things exactly the same as you were here), once you get good at managing Date #1 and getting to know them and being sexual like this, most girls want you to take them home. Some will wait for you; others will get upset at you for not closing the deal and giving them what they wanted / needed.

This girl, it sounds like she was very into you, and possibly ready for it to happen then, and she continued chasing a little while after the date... and then nothing happened and she cooled off and the window closed.

Don't beat yourself up. Most guys, this has to happen to them a bunch of times before it gets firmly ingrained in their minds that telling themselves "I'll get her next time" often doesn't work because more often than not there isn't a next time (I don't know if I've met any guys who could say that 50% or more of their first dates that went well and didn't end in intimacy resulted in a second date... even girls that seem to be crazy about you can disappear inexplicably, after even a perfect first date, if you don't take them as lovers. Not always, but a surprising amount of the time).

Making it a rule to always invite a girl home at the end of date / night out gets you into the habit of going for it, and that's a great thing. In my experience, even if a girl declines going home with you, she's a lot more likely to meet up with you again later if you ask than the girls you don't ask tend to be.

Chase

M's picture

Chase,
That's just mind blowing. Gives me some encouragement.
It's hard to realize what's going on with all that different signals from girls.
Like one girl says "it's too early", second girl just leaves your home, third gives LMR, and fourth girl wonders why are you so slow.
Thanks for your reply.
Actually I stopped beating myself for mistakes in field a year ago, I feel like a life long student who learns from mistakes. I am 22 and still have a lot of to figure.

Hope I'm not boring or needy (wink) but I have another question :)
Yesterday I went to a club alone and approached a lot of girls (maybe 9-10). A couple of them seemed into me but they were with their friends. I didn't try to ask them home because I thought they wanted to stay with their friends. Just got some phone numbers.
How to deal with that? I should have asked girls home with their friends sitting next to us and listening to what I say to her?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey M,

Nah, you're not boring or needy, brother ;)

That's a very "it depends" sort of situation. What it depends on is primarily:

  • How into you she is
  • How cool her friends are with you and in general

If you can tell she's very into you and her friends are cool with you, definitely invite her home (let her deal with explaining to the friends if you're unsure about it. If you're confident, just tell the friends, "Hey, I'm going to steal Becky for a nightcap. I'll make sure she gets to bed on time though.").

If she's really into you but the friends are borderline, you should go for it. If she's really into you but the friends are against it... you should still probably go for it anyway. Why? Because as soon as you leave, the friends are going to start trying to talk her out of seeing you. So take the strike while the iron's still warm.

If she's neutral but the friends really like you, tell her friends you're pulling her first, and then it makes her inclined to go with you ;)

Anything other than that, grab her number and set something up later (the next day, preferably).

Chase

Jared's picture

That managing emotions point is very interesting but a big problem for me though.
I'm a person who, much like reading this article, tries to gain knowledge and understand how stuff works. In other words, I am self motivated.

I have a hard time wondering why I should 'manage' someone else's feelings. Like, does she not have control over herself? It's a HUGE turnoff for me, people in general (not just women) who have a hard time thinking for themselves.

I DO encourage, but at the end of the day, who is responsible for themselves and their emotions? That person. Just like I cannot expect someone to make me happy - I have to already BE happy myself. If I'm feeling down, I need to remember what makes me happy. I can make life easier on her, yes, but that only goes so far.

Your thoughts?

Anonymous's picture

Dating is too complicated and after repeated rejections confidence evaporates. I live near Washington DC and I head for the strip clubs of Baltimore. I am nice to the girls and they are nice to me. Everyone wins.

Steve's picture

Always a good read Chase, Don't ever stop!

Anonymous's picture

Been reading your blog for a couple months now and I must say, you're one hell of a writer with a knack for social analysis. I do pretty well with women, but use your posts as reinforcement to what I already know but couldn't so immaculately put into words. Keep up the good work!

PUA Vault's picture

Have to say, I really like your insights. Posts are always in-depth and full of valuable information, and no wonder you're the top rated blog on my site ;)

Iamadinosaur69's picture

I have bad luck with girls and always put into the friend zone. I guess it's true that I may not like I'm a leader but I can physically do what a leader can do. My friend I guess he's a leader because I know he leads the convo every time he talks to a girl or even to me. He make the moment fun when it comes to talking because he has questions when he talks for feedback. I have a difficulty time attemping to talk how he talks. When it comes to talking to girls i struggle but when it comes to doing something I'm a walking doormat because thinking being nice will get me somewhere. Guess not. I just need drills or something to help me be a leader. It's not that easy when you don't know which step to begin or take.

Demetrius's picture

Hey man i like ur blog. I need ur insight on a situation Im In and been going though. When u get the time I explain it to u because its kinda,long story

Anonymous's picture

I cannot exaserbate how much this article applied to me, i don't know who you are, but you very well have saved my life. I was on the verge of suicide, always waiting, having no direction, being the living dead. Very much the instant i started chasing what i wanted, being assertive about what i wanted, and making decisions that got me what i wanted. Things started falling into place for me. This young man has now found salvation, thanks to you.

Anonymous's picture

Thanks Chase, awesome article. My question is how do you take a girl to a hotel room on the first date without coming across as a dude that only wants to f#!k? What I have gotten from your articles is that girls want to have sex but they want it to feel like it just happened without feeling like a whore. As you mentioned a good way of doing that is to invite them back to your place or invite yourself over to their place for something innocent like a game of pool or a movie. The only problem is that I live at home with my noisy mother and often times the girls I date still live with family. So how can I lead a girl to a hotel room without seeming like I only want to F? the only thing I can think of is to invite her to drink and or smoke weed but not every is into that lol

Henry's picture

Hi Chase,

This question is irrelevant to the thread. But would you ever get involved with a single mom? Dating a single mom with even one kid could have many implications

Anonymous's picture

Hey, Chase

I have read a lot of your articles, but I was wondering if you have any articles that would be for late bloomers? I have a LOT of work to do for myself, but for some reason I have found that this was my wake up call... lol

Anonymous's picture

the reason why many of us good straight men can't get a girl is that many of them are certainly gay today, and we should not be cursed at when we are trying to start a conversation with the one that we would really like to meet. i really had this happen to me, and i even know other men that this has happened too. i never realized that we have so many very mean and nasty women nowadays, and how in the world can us good men meet a good woman since many of them are like this today? i didn't do anything wrong to have them curse at me like that. and God forbid if you stare at a woman too long, she is ready to call the police on us. how sad.

Anonymous's picture

You're absolutely mistaken. People in Western countries are much more assertive. It's the people who leave the third world countries that are assertive. The ones who stay and make up the population of the place are not as assertive as those who leave. I've been all over and have noticed this in every place that I've been. And in many of those places, people (no matter which type they are) will not fight for themselves or their friends. Very odd. But it's because they will never burn a bridge, even if it should be burnt.

Bert's picture

Hello, I need an advice please. Im from South America too but it´s not all OK with me now...
My story.
I´ve met a girl a month ago, she is from another city, I knew she was interested in me because my brother told me. Then we started sending texts, and finally I called her to get a date. Everything went fine, I invited her to my city had a good time, even though, she is shy and hardly initiates a conversation, moreover, never texted me first, (actually she did it just once).
The second date was in his city, went to a party there, everything was fine, we had a little sex indeed. I could discover that she is very interested in me (her friends told me) but she is afraid I am a "ladies man", and thats not true I want a real relationship because a Iike her.
The problem is that she never texts me first, but always answers me back and likes to keep the conversation going on
The reasons are not clear, my theories are the next ones:
1- She broke up with his boyfriend a year and a half ago, maybe she is still confused
2- She is so shy and insecure so she has doubts
3- She thinks Im the guy who bounces from girl to girl and she cant trust me
4- She just wanted a touch and go with me

I need you to help me please, what do you think ? I dont know what to do, maybe, based on your experience you could make me see the things more clear
Thank you and sorry for my basic English, I hope you understand

GattlingJack's picture

I have almost the exact responds from this girl that I'm very interested in. I can't tell where she is the type of girl that just wants o wait and see or just shy. And she is never the first to text but she always follows through. Afterwards I found out that she really did like me and a lot and I messed it up by thinking that she was just leading me on so I did the whole not messaging her back until she messaged me but that didn't seem to work. I also called her to shedule a date but she Says she busy so I took it as she wasn't interested in me. Later I found out that she genuinely is busy and I acted as tho she wasn't interested in me which let he's her to be with someone else. He was a nice guy.... I actually hurt her feelings. Now recently I met another girl. She reminds me of her. This girl that I hang in out with now is really interested in me. She says she wants a boyfriend and eventually a family but is hesitant to want to get to know me... every time it seems like I got closer she's pushes away... wtf am I doing wrong. I'm not a player, I'm not trying to be why can't she trust me???

Cs

Anonymous's picture

Don't be the leader, don't be the alpha, let women do that instead. Let women walk all over you. Women can always jump from man to man.

Ross's picture

This blog/ site is really good stuff. Very intelligent advice on the matter. Thanks!

Anonymous's picture

Thanks for this article. Very well written and addresses some *distinctly* important points, as to how we (men) should carry ourselves. Thanks for your insights.

gravy train's picture

Great advice and obviously solid methodology. However, what I think you fail to realize is this: some men, like myself, are hardwired as being passive and despite limitless resources and dedication, no amount of training, hard work, or conditioning will change our pre-programmed habits, personality types or social tendencies. We will ways fall back into the same rut and never truly become the suave leading males we need to be. It's something I have always struggled with and I've come to the realization that it is just a part of my programming and cannot be altered. It is an immutable reality. So I have come to make peace with myself and accept a life of tedium and dissatisfaction.

Kamakshi prakaash's picture

That is absolutely not true u should just empty ur tea cup how can it be full when it is already filled? U can absolutely do it I did it

eliterocker's picture

What I dont understand is what evolutionary reason is there for women to want men to make all the decisions? Are men inherently better decision makers than women? Ahhh drives me nuts trying to figure this shit out

Anonymous's picture

Most of the women nowadays go out with the ugliest guys that i have ever seen in my life, and since many girls like guys with money which may have a lot to do with it. I feel very sorry for the guys that are being taking advantage by these women, and yet us good looking guys can't even get a date. But now women are very picky too.

Anonymous's picture

I totally agree. GRRRRRRR... As for myself I'm college educated have a great career and all I still see is decent (not hot) which I don't want as they are beyond stuck up but decent good looking ladies that have good jobs all I see is them with pathetic losers.... YES LOSERS... GUYS that have no jobs, don't have sh*t going for them, guys that clearly have "rap" sheets longer than one can count... But then women with good decent careers continue to overlook guys that have their sh** together. Girls continue to shoot themselves in the foot time and time and time again cause girls keep looking for guys with money... Well news flash ladies most guys that are well educated, have careers going make something called DECENT MONEY...NO NOT A MILLION DOLLARS A MONTH, WE DON'T HAVE MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS IN SOME OFFSHORE ACCOUNT. We are working in our careers and working our way up the ranks. Oh but waiiiiiiiittttttt that isn't goooooood enough for ladies..... Grrrrrrrr!!!!!! BS ladies... Just BS!!! Get off your HIGH HORSES LADIES!!!!! Oh and then on top of that ladies (good quality, good educated good job ladies) dating loosers now I have heard recently some are going for homeless dudes.... WHATTTTTTT are you effin kidding girls?????? SERIOUSLY?????? What in the he** is wrong with you ladies (either going for the pathetic loosers, holding out year after year after year after year for some cobbled up tv la la land notion that Mr. Rich is going to sweep you off your feet, lavishily spend on YOU blah blah blah or going for beyond losers homeless, druggie crack head.... But oh Mr. got his sh*t together (is educated, has career, goes on sweet vacations etc.) pass them by time and time again cause somehow somewhere your idiot dumba** girlfriends keeps telling you they are "boring" all the while your girlfriend got it right, married a good decent guy that has his sh** together, starting the family... Quit listening to your dumba** girlfriends!!!

Dave hfgg's picture

That's cause us "losers" are way fucking cooler than you "nice" guys. Ur an idiot cuz we all want the same thing from these women, but at least I'm honest about it and direc.. Ur an entitled moro.. Girls don't owe u anything just cuz ur climbing a ladder

Anonymous's picture

This makes sense to me. I find myself getting angry at women sometimes because they don't ever come onto me. I feel like I'm waiting for a girl to come that never does. I get it now though. They want to be chased. This is actually comforting to me now. I can take control and lead, because I am a man. So I must embrace my manliness. I can do this.

ChrisY's picture

Experience makes me agree. Nobody hands you what you want on a plate. But in explaining the passive attitude that we fall into, let's realise that we all hate rejection instinctively. Rejection creates a mutually reinforcing pattern of pain avoidance. Once bitten, twice shy. As a result, you stop trying, and if you stop trying, you avoid the sting of rejection, you make no girlfriend, and then all those lonely nights turn into a long sequence of lonely years. So the real challenge is to overcome the emotional damage that failure causes.

Anonymous's picture

The real reason why many men can't get a girl?

Yep, I can answer that question..

They refuse to buy a plane to a place and a culture where they still exist.

Anonymous's picture

Well the real good old fashioned women are all Gone, and today they are very Sad.

Anonymous's picture

Absolutely bang on my friend

Most people try to brag, or showboat, or one-up, or dazzle others with their accomplishments. Leaders don't do this, primarily because once you reach a certain degree of accomplishment, you start so far outclassing everyone else you meet that you either toss them into auto-rejection right off the bat, or else force them into a competition where they're trying to one-up you.

mislead's picture

Great article, full of actual answers, solutions. Now it's time to put it to the test. Truly, it makes so much sense. I know I personally have spent so much time worrying about myself (what if I make a mistake, am I tripping over my words, what does she think about me?) that I've neglected the girl. Time to set clear goals, and get the girl. I've bookmarked this site!! As someone else pointed out, very good, eloquent, smooth easy reading. Thanks!

Steelcore1085's picture

I get some of your points. The thing is, if a girl is not interested in a guy and he keeps relentlessly pursuing her when she doesn't like him, it'll most likely reach a point where she decides to accuse him of sexual harassment, and that scares the shit out of a lot of men. Especially me, since I am definitely not attractive at all.

The only time you'd really get the reciprocated attention is if you are extremely good-looking like Brad Pitt or Channing Tatum. Girls love guys who are physically attractive. If you don't have those good looks, then you might as well say goodbye to any chance of getting the attention of a girl. If won't happen.

Call me a pushover, but I'd rather be a lonely MGTOW who only focuses on his career and his friends than to pursue a girl and to have it to really bad. Not interested in that shit, dude.

Franco's picture

Steelcore1085,

We get the "girls only want THIS type of guy -- they don't want me" argument all the time. And yet, I've seen just about every "type" of guy get with every "type" of girl in my time.

Give this read:

"I Can't Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]"

- Franco

That one guy's picture

It could be the real reason is that you're just different.

Women are not as complicated nor as sophisticated as they like to think they are. They're people, and they do all the same dumb things all humans do. Namely, they collectively refuse to think for themselves. They think like the group thinks, lest THEY find themselves being seen as 'different'.

Ever wonder why so many women keep ending up with the same kind of losers over and over again? I mean, you'd think they'd learn their lesson after the first one or two, right? Any woman is going to have a preconceived notion of what a 'man' is 'supposed to' be. She's been formulating it since she was a small child, and what she observed in men around her as she was growing up is a very significant part of it. Those men, doing what they did as they went about their business, are the backbone of her 'programming'. If she sees in you what she always saw in them, then you'll probably fit her mold as a 'real man'. If you're not like anyone she's seen before, or worse, too much like someone she saw and had developed a dislike for, you'll be out of her comfort zone and she won't want to have anything to do with you, unless perhaps you somehow end up being popular with her friends... then the picture changes. But barring that, no luck for you!

If it makes you feel any better, I've always been in this boat. I fall through the cracks with women. The first issue is that women who are attracted to me are either all married or twenty years older than me, but let's ignore that for the time being. Those who are unattached and roughly my own age but somehow still attracted to me (rare, though it may be) DON'T KNOW ME and *think* that maybe they do because something about me reminds them of someone they know, or knew, and had a positive impression of. Then they start to get to know me, and discover 'PDQ' that they were waaaaay off base and I'm not at all the type of man they thought I was. Result: Confused and scared! Nobody likes to be wrong, and most people are ashamed to be. Consequence: They retreat. To familiar territory. To the kind of men they've always hung around and know. They may be treated like dirt by them, but when that's all you know and all you think you deserve, then you feel okay when that's what you get. It's the old 'devil you know vs the devil you don't know' scenario. In my case, I fit NONE of the local stereotypes. I'm the ultimate half breed. I have just enough of something to pique some women's interest, but not enough of it to really stand out in that respect and everything else about me will generally be irrelevant to them. Kinda' the jack of all trades but master of none.

Unfortunately, the kind of women who would be open to a guy like me are long gone. Most left the area shortly after high school. The rest were all hooked up by then and staying in a relationship usually never has been a problem for them. If one doesn't work out, that's okay, they already had the next one lined up before the last guy knew anything was amiss. If you want to be the new guy, you'd have to have been in a situation where she could get to know you fairly well over a period of time. I was never lucky enough to find myself in that situation. If you get on any of the dating sites in this town, you'll find scarce few local women. Most of what you will find: 1)Fakes... the obvious scammers that are everywhere. 2) Frivolous: Real women you recognize, but not really looking (playing games, usually jealousy games) or else someone created a profile with their picture(s) to make them look bad (probably an ex or a 'frenemy' for revenge, etc.) 3) The true undesirables. Sadly, they're not the physically unattractive, those women usually won't bother posting a picture so you never know who they are. It's the ones who treat everyone like dirt and then wonder why nobody likes them. They're always single, and ostensibly always 'looking', but when you encounter them around town they won't look at you, never smile, are rude to people, and seem generally lost in their own little world. You can try to send them a message, but they'll probably never respond... which is likely a good thing for you!

Sometimes you're just in a bad spot and there isn't a thing you can do about it. All I can recommend is that you just be yourself and cross your fingers. The alternative is to try to be someone your not, and while you might get somewhere, it probably won't be anyplace you're going to be happy being.

Franco's picture

That one guy,

There's plenty for me to disagree with here, but rather than write a dissertation on all the misconceptions you have here, I'd rather give you two recommendations to hopefully get you started:

1) Read this article:

Just Be Yourself: The Worst Dating Advice Known to Man

2) Move to a new location.

In regards to number two, it sounds like you still live in the same town that you graduated high school from. Generally, almost all of the guys I know who never moved out of my hometown either:

(a) Married/knocked up their high school sweetheart very early.

(b) Are dating girls from the same social circle from high school.

(c) Doing neither of the above and not having success with women at all, like yourself.

When you're in an area that just has a small pool of the same women that have been there for awhile, you're not going to be able to have the same type of success that a man living in, say, Los Angeles or New York is going to have. Big cities contain hundreds of thousands of people living busy lives in a dense area, and it's possible to be constantly meeting new women who don't have a clue about who you are or what you're about until the second they meet you.

Essentially, it's a chance to "start over" and become a man that women want to be with. If you don't believe that you can become a better man that women are more attracted to, then that's fine; you can continue to lead a dull life "being yourself" and allow those of us who have improved ourselves to gobble up all the beautiful women who desire us. No man who succeeds with women is ever going to complain about the guys who don't succeed with women. It's up to the unsuccessful guys to understand that they have more control over their own love lives than they realize.

Whether or not you end up going down the path of improvement with women is entirely up to you.

- Franco

Anonymous's picture

Well now that there are so many women that have their Careers since many of them i will admit that their making much more money than many of us good men do. And today many women are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy, which really speaks for itself why many of us men Can't meet a good one at all. And we really Can't blame ourselves since many of us should've been settled down by now.

Tormented's picture

Pooh. You tried and I respect that. I don't want to lead a woman unless she's virtuous and old fashioned. In other words, has members, respect and capable of guilt and sincerity. Do many women, I don't even want to lead. But I'm an American born white 34 y.o. used yo being self reliant. I know what I want. I am decisive. It seems in my experience the opposite is true. I evoke mixed signals and passive aggressive from women..the problem is when they truly get to know me in natural ways they tend to open up and like me, like when I was on the track team in college and in my department at university later, and at work but they all have bf or when I lived in community. My experience is women are just and slippery and ill mannered and yes I think what can I do to bring out other side of women but I rack my brain. Then I meet occasional woman who is different, and it's profoundly validating, sanity making, but if I'm interested in marriage/ltr I have to be selective so she didn't quite make it but she proved women can be old fashioned and friendly. She felt guilt towards herself, she wasn't self righteous arrogant woman. They are like cigarette burns in my brain. Their behavior becomes ridiculous towards dating. They are not desperate enough or interested enough for me to date. I want women but they force me into mgtow. I guess I'm mgtow involuntarily. I have given it more than a college try and i want a family but I want my sanity. I don't believe in hurting women physically but it's lehal to hurt them emotionally. I mean more like chastise them, for their faults so they can grow, rather than anything. They need to be taught lessons because most didn't have fathers obviously. And women reading this who disagree and shudder, just know you may he an exception. I've met many wonderful women. Most have lucky bfs. I've met many professional daters. I refuse to have women manipulating me into changing to confirm to a negative view if nan. I've never said I was a nice guy. I'm not a jerk either. Women often polarize men like we live in a world of duality and extremism. I'm on cyclical time, I believe there's good and bad in everyone and I love folkish memes, not progressivism. I refuse to be the object of your categorization. I have my purpose so move bitch get out the way. Like Jesus in revelations (I'm not religious AT ALL btw) I spit out the lukewarm 50:50 type women who can't make up their mind whether they like me trust me or not. However, I don't spit them out because of desperation. I don't have backup. Its not logical why I've never had gf and am 34 tall 6'3 lean and muscular in mensa good job own house. I've probably slept with 15 women in my life, mostly one or two night stands, I'm not proud or ashamed bit always wanted something more. I think I have integrity. I agree with a lot of the alt right. A lot of women do have attitude, meaning an unjustified bad attitude. I'm not perfect but am willing to give ppl a chance. I'm not looking for a perfect woman..just someone good enough. I'm not perfect but I'm always focused on self improvement. I tend to be an impatient person. I have things t achieve yet. Sue me. I'm not a drunk or in debt. Zero non mortgage debt, zero crime history, yet people judge me and prefer others. Been described by marni libris as handsome. I'm not arrogant. I'm just wondering what is the malfunction. I wasn't born arrogant. I don't like following social scripts if I found a better way because to me i am a free spirit limited only by reality and discipline but culture tries to dicatate how to behave. I just get brainflammation from modern women I like. It's so hard to find one I like that's sinhle that when she shows interest and pulls out or plays games it tortures me and I'm not a masochist. Sadist maybe. Believe me. Believe what I say. But weight lifting and work raise self esteem. Hobbies too I guess. All else esp women lower self esteem. Women are not a good source of self esteem or companionship. They are a toll on your self esteem. I'd like to think it's otherwise. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence as San Pena likes to say but I have to say I realky don't know what the fuck to do

Mike's picture

I have discovered the *TRUE* secret of dating, the problem with most problems is that people look for complex answers to things that are simple - they want it to be complicated, when it doesn't need to be

Trust me - I KNOW what I am talking about

Dating women is so very simple.....Its called "Natural Selection"

God designed the female of the species to seek out the strongest and most attractive of the species to insure that the offspring will survive, i.e. carry forward the best traits - that is why the beautiful plumage in some species such as birds, they use this to attract the female

The exact same method is used by the female of the human species, she seeks out the strongest and most attractive of the males to insure the children will carry forward those traits to survive, i.e. women are only interested in looks

Women often say "Oh looks don't matter" when they are dating men, but I have talked to 1000s of them over the last 25yrs - and time and time ago, our conversations over the phone/email/chat go great - we laugh, and joke around - and have a great time, but as soon as I email her my picture, I immed get dial-tone; now I am 6ft-4in tall - and "average" looking, I don't frighten small children nor work as a "monster" in horror movies, I am just average looking - but time and time again, I have gone out on dates - and they don't show up, or they take one look at me - and run the other way..why, I am not "Tom Cruise"

Of course - money can replace looks, Bill Gates can afford to buy a small country as a Christmas present to Melinda

I have had personal postings on:

) Udate
) PlentyofFish
) Match.com
) WW personals

And either I get a letter from a lady answering my add, or I answer hers - the very VERY first question/statement is ALWAYS "Send Pic" - just ONCE I would LOVE to get a letter from a woman saying "Hello" or "Nice to meet you"

I over hear women talking, one woman will say "I met this great guy" - and immed, some other woman in the group will always ask "Is he good looking?"

Women don't care about personality, or intelligence - they just care about appearances, and to prove this point - go into a store and look at items that women buy, see how they are packaged in very pretty packages, you don't see Wards putting socket-wrenches into pretty packages - no, they just say 1/4-inch x 8-point drive, and the price

Women *ARE* only interested in looks

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Chase Amante's picture

The ones with the Tattoos are real horrible.'s picture

Well it is real Fact that there are many women nowadays that are Gay unfortunately since they like to Curse at us Straight Good Men for No Reason at all when we will try to start a conversation with them which i have come to the Conclusion that Most of the women now are either Mentally Disturbed or Gay just like i just said since me and my friends have had women Curse at us for No Reason at all. Such Pathetic Losers too. MGTOW.

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