Women Don't Actually Follow Their Own Rules

Hey, in your eBook "How to make Girls chase" you mention it's best to pre open a girl before you approach so she feels she noticed you first.

Well it doesn't make any sense how you'd pre open her then ground your opener.

Like standing next to her, she looks at you, then you turn your head and say, "I saw you standing here..." It doesn't make sense to me. Since she feels you noticed her just now.

Grouding the opener makes sense to me if you saw her from far away then said it. But if you pre open by touching her or being close to her, it feels... forced.

Can you elaborate?

Howdy Chase,

I see you mentioning around anecdotes about women and Greek Islands and stuff.

Well I am Greek, though from a place where not a lot of tourists go to (at least young ones, there's just families and old people where I am at).... so these things sound new to me, which is quite ironic.

Yet how do you recon I can take advantage of that fact?
Should I go on vacations to these places and just do regular pick up stuff we learn here?

Cheers

Ok so I got two nights of approaching and liked to know your thoughts.

I feel it would be better if I separated each day by post to make it easier to read and answer.

Friday night I went to a popular bar, very, very crowded, and full of white people and few minorities, mostly college kids.

So both girl's I talked to were white.

The first one I said what's up to and the second one said what's up to me. It basically ended after that because I'm rusty and I honestly didn't know what else we could say while at the bar.

1. I could have have asked how her night was, but then after that what? What more would I have to talk about to not make it platonic? I also don't want to talk and talk because that doesn't work. So what would be good to say after hi? Like what type of conversation and how do I not make it seem platonic and sexual and fast? Basically, I want to know what the hell to talk about if I want to fuck her not just talk, have the convo be short and quick and something easy to remember.

2. I think that spot isn't good for pick ups because it's overcrowded. How do you feel with how I described that place?

3. Think those girl's were just being nice or do you think there was attraction at all? That's another reason why I didn't continue the convo because I didn't want to look like a fool if they were just being nice.

Random questions:
1. I tell women I hustle when they ask what I do. Don't know if that's bad or not, what do u think?

Also, what do you mean by find something and say I do that? I'm referring to the part where I said I'd say I'm a writer and you said not to because I don't write and to find something and say I do that. I kinda don't know what that means could you give me an example of what you mean so I can work on it?

2. Should I lie about my age in college or should I not tell? What sounds better? How would I not answer it all together without sounding like I'm ashamed and old? I was thinking of saying I was two years younger than I am, but I don't know if that would matter, don't want them asking me to buy drinks for them either.

3. I was thinking about the car article you recently wrote. What if the girl you're tryna fuck has a better car than you and better job? I'm working on myself so that's what I'm up against, does that affect me much?

4. How do you think I can do with women as an older dude in college? I'm tryna pick up everywhere.

Thanks Chase

Saturday:

Went to this club with some friends.
I was kinda drunk, but not super sloppy drunk, I was chill, but you could tell I was.

Anyway, this night really drove me crazy. At first I was chillin and I approached a few girl's by grabbing their waist. They would turn around and look at me then say no, and I'm an attractive dude, so I was like damn.

I literally don't know what else I can do because I really feel like this is a racial thing, I've been noticing that all girl's seem to like light skin more than brown or dark, even dark skin black girls. They just act more receptive, they get so happy when a guy from another race likes them. I'm using examples from what I've seen.

I literally see it in front of my eye's, all girl's go to the light dudes. What am I supposed to do? I have light dudes with me and I'm the only dark one, and they don't really show me love and go for my lighter friends who don't even do anything, im being serious, they dknt do anything, no talking, no game, nothing. We dress the same, I have more muscles than them, so no question it's race or skin color. How the fuck do I beat this? This is a hump I'm going over and want to beat it. I don't know what more I can do?

2. It annoys me that my friend likes to bring a date to the club, I have to go find my own chick, should I stop going with him and go alone or just work my magic no matter what?

3. What can I do when I have bad nights like this? They are frequent and it's hard not to feel fuckin bad and worthless, especially when you're putting in work with your entire self. I say I have a lot more bad nights than good, I want to change that. How can I turn this around? What do I do after having many bad nights? It gets to me because this has been going on for years, including the light race thing. I have no idea what to do.

This is more than just pick up, I'm talking about going out here and there, not like everyday. I need this to stop, I've been working my was off for years and this shit is hard to beat, I'm in the south where they worship light skin and they also do that all over the world, so I need to solve this thing here before I move anywhere else.

4. Should I stop hanging with my friends because of this and go solo? Or do I just fight threw?

5. How do I make sure in safe when I go out to clubs and bars alone?

6. What kind of bars do you recommend and do you recommend to go out alone?

7. It's hard for me to go out alone, how do I do it? I keep stopping myself all the time.

Really, really didn't want to ask all these questions, but so much happened that night and I was in my feelings deeply, I felt terrible from that night. I want to succeed. I will fight and win!

"However, if I really like a girl, I will get excited when I hear about her rules, and just turn up the charm and do various things to get her into an immediate frame of mind"

Could you elaborate on, "turning up the charm" and the "various things you do" ?

Your article was funny because I was in somewhat a similar scenario like the guy going for the condoms. Thing is, I was just taking a girl's pants off then, she stopped me, and freaked out saying she was on her period, I didn't even get a chance to get a condom. I was sucking her tits, then when i went to take the pants off, she was screaming at me, like she snapped out of a trance, and put her top back on. What do you think her problem was? And how do you prevent that?

Women really are petty.

What does it mean when you always want to do things your way because you believe other people are wrong and youre right? Idk why I always feel I have a better way to do things but most of the time I fail because I dont follow the advice. Is it narcissism? I dont think so, I think Im low self-esteem. Could it just be immaturity? Please help, I want to fix this!

How do you spit game Chase? There's times where someone will say to me, go spit game to her, and I have no idea what to say to get her number or to sleep with her, my mind goes blank, I either say something lame or nothing. What can I say? How do I spit game and get a number and attraction on the spot like that? It seems like you more or less say smooth things to get her, but I have no idea what to say that fast or quick.

I'm more of the silent type and have read the new silent article, but it seems that it's easier to get laid by talking more, how can I start doing this to get laid more? It would be a complete 180 for me because I'm so quiet.

Hi Chase,

an interesting article. I have a few comments:

1) You wrote: “Regardless your feeling on the goodness or badness of thoughts, this little experiment should show you one thing about yourself: you already expect men to follow their big rules, and women to break theirs. Life – and the experiences you’ve had within it – has trained you to hold these expectations. If a man does not follow his big rules, you lose respect for him, and view him as having behaved in a way womanly way – that is, he behaved in a way you’d be a lot more likely to expect women to behave...Almost everyone, regardless of his politics, expects the man to hold to his professed personal rules, and loses respect for him if he fails to. Meanwhile, almost everyone, regardless of his politics, expects women to bend and break their personal rules; this is just what women do.”

Are you sure that “almost everyone” thinks this way? While I may respect less a man who changes too much, I do not think of him as womanly (and vice versa). I see as womanly men those who f.e. dress like women, are metrosexuals or are overly romantic. But in this case there are just people with different degree of following their rules.

2) You wrote ”The man’s job is to provide: genes, resources, beliefs, training, and safety.”

As far as I know, women provide genes as well, it is not specifically man’s job.

3) You wrote: “No woman competes to prove to you that she is the most reliable, dependable, respectable, consistent, steady woman you’ve ever met. It’s not what you pick for in a woman.”

In most cases it is right, but if you want a LTR, you look for some level of dependability as well (handling money, loyalty etc., see your article about screening for wife). And she wants to be seen as a good girlfriend material as well. Also for more rules-based men are dependable women more relatable.

4) You wrote: “The importance of immediacy vs. long-term considerations varies from woman to woman and situation to situation....There are women who stick more to rules than other women, just as there are some very changeable men. But you should not have illusions about women and think of them as men with breasts. It is in a woman’s interest to be changeable.”
In many ways women are similar to men in this respect. The dynamics between the immediate and long-term interest is similar (or same) for both sexes. The difference is that women have interest in being changeable, so they tend to take the rules less seriously.
5) The decision tree you described explains decision making about whether there is immediate interest or not, but not its relation to the rules/the long-term interest. It is in fact decision-making when there are no rules, because otherwise the model should include a variable related to the rules (now here there are only variables related to the immediate interest, like sexiness of the guy and easiness of having sex).

6) I am quite a rules-based man, so it is sometimes difficult to deal with fluidity and to understand people who are not rules based (how can they live like that…?). Depending what the rules are, they make it easy to avoid certain kind of problems, but also make it difficult to deal with certain situations. If the rules are maladaptive (f.e. some self-limiting beliefs can become rules), it is not easy to change them, because I feel like betraying my identity or losing my integrity when I try it. So mindset change is difficult, if you take the rules seriously. Since I do not change much, I tend to assume that other people are more or less like this and Iusually do not try to persist much or convince them about something. After all, if I once say no to something, the fact I did it as such is often one of the reasons to reject the same thing the next time, because I feel like losing my integrity if I change my position. Do you have some advice how to make adaptive changes in personal rules, mindsets etc., if you are more rules-based person, to avoid being overly rigid in some situation?

Thank you

Anonym

Great article! Quite mind-blowing.
However it would be really cool if you or other authors could expand more in future articles on the ways of bringing a girl to an immediate/short term mindset.

Hello Chase, this was a fine read. I like those peaces with general observations about human nature a lot. For example that men and women compete at different scales, or crazy women as short term optimizers.

Have you considered to make money by writing novels or scripts for movies? I believe many wealthy authors pretty much focus on what you do too. They get a feel for social concepts, then embed them into stories. Hollywood is all about that. They pick up common problems/desires and then showcase ways to deal with them that cater to a very inhomogenious audience.
It`s like playing on three chessboards simultaniously with the exact same moves and winning on all of them despite different opposing moves. This may sound impossible, but since it`s all staged, the art is to find games that can be made to work with as little "wow that`s unrealistic" as possible while mainting a lot of "wow that`s exciting" for people with very different world views. For example one challenge is to make the story great for the people who "get it" as well for those who don`t, be it lack of intelligence or emotional self defense, that stops them from "getting it".

Overall the key is to construct the stories in a way that obeys the percieved social rules of many very different people and gives everyone hope and a little food for thought.
It`s a bit like in Fables, where it is possible to introduce people to concepts in a very easily digestive and nonoffensive way.

I feel coming up with new, controversal yet true, perceptions of social stuff is what makes or breakes good books and movies. This is the core. You produce these core concepts at a spectacular rate. Maybe all you need is to put your allready existant writing skills into action and create fascinating stories, that leave people feeling they have touched on greater concepts.

Yours, trying to give value back.

Good stuff!