How to Get a Phone Number from a Girl Every Time You Ask

how to get a phone numberOne of the most glaring things missing from the content available on the blog here has been an authoritative article on how to get a phone number from a girl. I put up "Natural Number Swapping" sometime back, and that covers the basics; Ricardus has covered phone numbers somewhat in a couple of different posts.

But there isn't any one comprehensive post written on everything you could ever want to know about becoming insanely effective at getting phone numbers.

Time to change that.

Today's article is a tour-de-force of all the most potent, powerful tips and techniques on how to get phone numbers that you could ask for, so you can get the numbers you want from the women you want them from, whenever you want, every time (or pretty close to it).

There's no reason you shouldn't be able to follow up with a girl that you like later on after meeting her.

And after reading this article and following its advice today, you'll see exactly why - and phone numbers will be a breeze.

how to get a phone number

Phone numbers aren't a big deal.

Really, nothing is a big deal... or, it shouldn't be, anyway.

  • Meeting girls isn't a big deal
  • Going on a date isn't a big deal
  • Sleeping with girls isn't a big deal
  • Taking a girl as your girlfriend isn't a big deal
  • Getting married isn't a big deal
  • Having kids isn't a big deal
  • Growing old isn't a big deal
  • Dying isn't a big deal

These are just normal, ordinary, regular parts of life that everybody goes through and everyone experiences.

And the men we admire - and the ones women go nuts with - are the ones who stay calm, controlled, and relaxed throughout... because for them, things aren't a big deal.

The wise old man sitting on a mountain top doesn't jump for joy if he finds out he has a grandchild... he smiles, and gives a few calm words of congratulations to his son or daughter on the new arrival. And we respect him much more for it than the guy who loses his shirt over what's a wonderful, but otherwise normal, life event.

Put in this way, you should be able to step outside yourself for a moment and realize that getting phone numbers is no big deal.

If you're good at knowing how to get a phone number, you can go out and get 10 or 20 phone numbers from new women in a day. All you've got to do is go out, keep meeting new women, and keep asking for their phone numbers.

But if you make it a big deal - if you freak out, get nervous, or get excited - it's going to be a much more uphill battle.

Girls Want Guys Who've Done This Before

Like we discussed in the article on preselection, women are most attracted - far and away, and by a large margin - to men that other women want.

Without seeing other women pursuing a man, women use a man's confidence as a proxy for this - if he's confident, he must have done this before and succeeded, which means women must want him, which means SHE should want him.

If he's nervous, that means this is a BIG DEAL for him, which means he probably hasn't done this very many times before and succeeded, which means a lot of women don't really want him... which means she doesn't want him.

Cue the "creepy guy" thoughts and comments from girls.

"Something about that guy just seemed off."

To get around this, you've either got to:

  1. Have done this many times before, or

  2. ACT like you've done this many times before.

The chief thing is, you don't want women thinking this is your first time around the phone number rodeo. So if you're new or inexperienced, kill the nervousness.

How do you do that? Well, principally by following the next step...

Meantime, YOU Don't Want to Think Too Much

Yes, you want to pull off a smooth, solid phone number ask.

And yes, you want to make sure you come in the right way with the right strategy.

how to get a girl's phone number

But no, you will not be successful if you are devoting a ton of time to obsessing over what you're going to say and how you're going to say it before you say it.

I remember a time, long after I'd gotten very good at getting girls' phone numbers, where I'd met this girl on an airplane on a trip I was making out to Milwaukee. She was very pretty, very sexy, and clearly very interested in me. And I decided that rather than simply ask her as soon as it felt right and get it out of the way as I usually do (we'll discuss below), I'd wait until the end of the plane ride and make some big production out of it.

Well, wouldn't you know it, years of experience and conditioning went out the window and suddenly the end of the plane ride came and I was as nervous as when I first started asking women for phone numbers years before. Needless to say, I asked her anyway, and it was not smooth, and I did not get the phone number, and I never saw her again.

You cannot overthink getting a phone number. As soon as you start thinking about it, you either need to ask RIGHT away, or just get it out of your head until it's time for you to do it.

Overthinking leads to you psyching yourself out, and you'll sabotage yourself every time.

A Few More Points on Psychology

The best sale doesn't feel like a sale at all, and it's the same with getting phone numbers. Your objective in getting a girl's phone number should be to make it feel as natural and effortless as possible. The better the experience, the more likely you are to get what you're seeking (her number).

But there's another side to this too: making sure that the number you're getting is good.

It's important that you know how to get a phone number the right way, because the way you ask for a number affects a bunch of different things, both immediately and downstream in your interactions with a girl:

  • It affects how likely you are to actually get the phone number
  • It affects how much and what, exactly, she thinks about you later
  • It affects how likely or not likely she is to answer your phone call or text message
  • It affects how warm she will be to meeting with you in person right away or not
  • It affects if she sees you as a friend, lover, or provider (see: "What Women Want")

Because how you ask for and get phone numbers has such a big impact on how things go downstream (not just your likelihood of actually getting the number), it's extra important you're handling things appropriately.

Fortunately, handling things appropriately is precisely what the rest of this article is designed to teach you.

how to get a phone number

While you don't want to be overthinking things (overthinking is what nervousness is all about), you also don't want to rush into asking a girl for her phone number at the wrong time or in the wrong way.

There is a proper way of building up to things.

You can ask for a phone number quickly, or you can ask for it after an extended conversation. The important part is, you ask for it once her emotions are in the place where you can most effectively take her phone number.

I'll give you two scenarios - now tell me which of these feels comfortable asking for a girl's phone number:

Scenario #1: The Instant Ask

You see a pretty girl on the street or at a bar and walk up to her. "Hey, can I have your number?" you ask, without so much as an introduction.

Scenario #2: The Conversation That's Jumped the Shark

You met a girl, started talking to her, and things went great... for a while. But the two of you just kept sitting there, and talking, and talking, and talking, for maybe a few hours, until there was nothing left to talk about. "Well," she says, getting up, "I've really got to be going."

"Oh hey, wait," you say as she rises to leave, "we should hang out some time! What's your phone number?"

... back to the meat of the post. Which of those two scenarios feels more comfortable?

Got an answer yet? I'll wait.




Here's the answer: it's a trick question - they're both really awkward!

And they're both unlikely to work.

But why? Well, the reason is, both of these phone number asks are completely inconsiderate of the woman's emotions.

They're asking at the wrong time, and they show a complete disregard for how the woman feels, what she wants, or what's most appealing to her.

And because of that, they're a total turn off.

Let's have a look at why that is, and how you can prepare yourself to ask women at the right times for their phone numbers.

The Emotional Arc of Getting Phone Numbers

Learning how to get a phone number properly is a lot like learning how to do anything else with women properly, from saying "hello" to physical escalation.

It's all dependent on emotions.

Which makes sense... emotions are the brain's intuitive logic center. When your subconscious mind picks up on things, it tells you how to act through emotions.

Guy seems confident, cool, attractive, and suave? Emotionally, a girl responds well to him.

Guy seems nervous, awkward, and uncomfortable? Emotionally, a girl feels creeped out and wants to get away.

That's the overall picture of how emotions work. The smaller view picture is that for every interaction, you're going to follow a certain emotional arc:

  1. Meet (you're strangers; she's unsure about you)
  2. Introductions (if your fundamentals are good, she's interested instantly)
  3. Repartee / chit-chat (she's finding you more attractive now; she's excited)
  4. Rapport (she's feels the emotional connection between you)
  5. Escalate (you move her or move things forward) or wind-down (you end things)

If you're doing things right (and want to have the best chance possible of having a girl give you her phone number and setting things up to go well downstream) you want to get a girl's phone number somewhere between Step #3 and Step #4 on the emotional arc.

how to get a phone number

The reason why it's so important to get a phone number after you've established some initial repartee but before things have begun to wind down and draw to a close is to capitalize on emotional high points.

Watch any movie where two people kiss. They never kiss right after they've first met; nor do they kiss when things are awkward or uncomfortable. They always kiss right at the perfect moment, when things are at an emotional high point and it just feels right.

Asking a girl for her phone number is a lot like kissing her in that respect; if it doesn't feel right, it'll blow up in your face; but if it does, there'll never have been anything more natural.

So what should you be looking for, then? How do you know when the moment to ask has come?

You should ask her for her phone number when:

  1. She seems comfortable around you
  2. The two of you are "vibing" - e.g., conversation is happening easily
  3. She's contributing to the conversation, telling you things about herself, and asking questions
  4. You hit a peak within the emotional high period - she's laughing, hitting you, or clearly having a good time in some other way

You never want to ask her for her phone number on an emotional low point... things are winding down, she's seeming bored, or she's otherwise unengaged. That's because the moment you ask a girl for her phone number, she's going to say to herself, "Do I want more of what I'm feeling right now?"

If the answer is, "No, this is not that great," her answer to you will be "no," too.

But if the answer is, "Yes, this is wonderful!" then her answer to you will be "yes."

Make It About a Date, Not a Number

how to get a phone numberAnother reason that asking for a phone number can be awkward both for her AND for you is because she doesn't know what you want her phone number for!

I mean, she knows you like her, but...

  • Are you going to send her 200 text messages every day?
  • Are you going to call her at weird times to tell her about your "feelings?"
  • Or are you just going to use her number to ask her out on a date?

Because she doesn't know, the very first thing that springs to her mind when you ask her for her phone number is, "Um, why?"

But she can't ask that, because it's socially impolite. So she's forced to make a judgment call: do I want this guy to be able to have unfettered access to my phone to do whatever he wants, or do I not?

This is fine for confident, charismatic guys, because she KNOWS a guy like that is too busy to go strange on her. But if you're anybody ELSE... if you're just a regular guy starting out in game, who doesn't have James Bond super skills at wooing women yet, she's going to wonder if you might by any chance turn into a creep.

You know, those guys who pester women all day long with boring and annoying text messages and never quite seem to "get" it. Or who call her wanting to get into long phone conversations with her that don't lead anywhere and just take up her time.

If you aren't super suave, she's not going to know if you're going to be "normal" over the phone with her or not. So her entire judgment call comes down to how normal you've been in the interaction and how much she trusts you to maintain that normality once she gives you the power to call her.

Because remember, she's tied to her phone. Anyone who has her phone number can access her at any time and say anything to her.

And most women have had the experience of giving their phone numbers to a guy who seemed pretty normal, then became obsessed with them or went strange on them.

Want to get around this? Want to free the women you meet from having to ask themselves a giant unanswerable question ("Will this guy be normal or strange on the phone?") and instead make it really, really simple for them and easy to answer?

Then ask girls on dates, not for phone numbers.

It's much easier for a woman to decide if she wants to see you again than it is for her to decide if she wants you to have access to her via phone for the rest of eternity, so don't ask her for that latter one - ask her for the former.

Your goal in asking women for their phone numbers should be to always ask them about going out again first. This makes the phone number ask natural, and almost a second thought.

Because after all, if she does want to see you again, the two of you are going to need some form of long distance communication to coordinate that, right?

how to get a phone number

And now, we come to that all-important point: the one you've been waiting for - how to get a phone number from a girl.

You've got the psychology behind it down:

  1. Phone numbers aren't a big deal; you can get lots of them fast if you want to
  2. Women want confident men who've done this a lot (or seem like they have)
  3. You can keep yourself calm and collected by not overthinking things
  4. Getting things right is important for the downstream with a girl, too

And you've got the general setup under your belt:

  1. It's important to ask at the emotional height of an interaction, not a tail end
  2. The question of, "Can I get you number?" is a giant question women can't answer
  3. You can help a girl out (and get a lot more phone numbers) by making the question, "Would you like to see me again?" instead

Now all that's left is the technical stuff - the words, the actions, and the things you'll actually, you know, do.

How to Get a Phone Number the Easy Way

There's an easy way to get a girl's phone number, and we mentioned it above - simply ask her out first.

That goes like this:

You: [in conversation with her] ... wow, I can't believe you did that.

Her: I know, right? Well, I didn't have much choice... she was the meanest teacher I ever had!

You: [laughs] You don't say.

Her: How about you, did you ever have any really nasty teachers?

You: I did, you know what - [pause to change course] I'm probably going to have to take off soon, but I'd like to grab some food or a drink with you again sometime later this week or next. Would you like to do that?

Her: Yes, definitely.

You: Okay, awesome. Let me grab your phone number so we can coordinate.

This goes so much more smoothly and easily than the traditional, "Can I get your number?" line that most men throw at women you'll be blown away and amazed.

And the reason it works so well is in all the groundwork we've laid down earlier in the post:

  • It makes the number not a big deal
  • You ask confidently because you need it to set up the date
  • It's a natural part of the conversation so you remain calm
  • It's established correctly so things go better downstream with girls
  • You ask at the emotional height, not a tail end
  • You completely remove the question of, "Can I get your number?" altogether...
  • ... and you make the question, "Would you like to see me again?" instead

Much easier, much more natural, and you'll have a close rate that's through the roof. You will almost never get a "no" to this once you've got some experience under your belt and you're executing it at the right time in the interaction and without any hesitancy or uncertainty, because it's essentially built on a yes ladder that leads directly to the phone number:

  1. Is she enjoying herself? Yes.
  2. Would she like to see you again and continue enjoying herself? Yes.
  3. Should she give you her phone number to see you again and enjoy herself? Yes.

The only thing you've got to do, other than follow this process, is give women a good enough experience in conversation with you (or elsewise) that they want to have an experience like that with you again.

And for that, we've got a number of great articles on here about conversation, including "The Art of the Deep Dive," "The Conversationalist," and a whole bunch more; and we've got Spellbinding, our program on having amazing conversations. Once you're following these and giving women amazing conversation, wanting to see you again is a given.

It's that easy.

But there's one other way you should know about... and it's a heck of a lot of fun.

The Two Minute Number Close

What if you are legitimately in a hurry trying to get somewhere, and you see a beautiful woman walking down the street... but you just don't have time to go get in a conversation with her?

Is she just a vision of beauty you will never get to know?

Not quite. There is something you can do.

That something is the 2-minute number close.

how to get a girl's phone number

This is a more advanced technique than the one we just covered for getting a girl's phone number. It's going to rely a lot more on your ability to open well, convey a strong sense of presence and charisma right away, and to be confident and self-assured while running day game.

But if you pull it off, you'll have a beautiful new woman's contact information in your hands (or, in your cell phone, more likely) in only a couple of minutes.

Here's how it works:

  1. You'll approach her, open her, and give your name
  2. You'll explain that you really wish you had a moment to talk to her, but you're in a hurry
  3. Then, you'll tell her to give you her phone number
  4. Finally, you'll finish that up by qualifying the ask so she doesn't feel it's too "easy"

And here's what it looks like:

You: [suddenly noticing and approaching her] Excuse me... I saw you walking here, and I just had to come tell you that you have the most stunning walk I've seen all day. I'm Chase.

Her: [a little surprised] Thank you - I'm Amelia.

You: Amelia, great to meet you. I'm in a big hurry, and I really can't stop and chat, but I saw you and I might never see you again and you might never see me again, and I think both our lives would be the poorer for it. So, I'll tell you what... [pause, take out your cell phone] I want you to tell me your phone number, and I'm going to call you and you'll have my phone number too. And sometime later this week I'll give you a proper call and we can talk on the phone and figure out then if you like me and I like you. And if we both like each other, maybe sometime we can meet. Okay, let me have your phone number.

Her: Okay - it's

You: Great. I'll shoot you a text later so you have my number too. Wonderful meeting you, Amelia! I'm off!

Her: Goodbye!

You'll get girls who will politely refuse, and that's fine. But you'll also get girls who will give you their phone numbers, and you can call them later.

For these girls, you do need to properly call them on the phone. I mentioned in "How to Text a Girl" that I never make phone calls to women anymore. This is the exception. When you've got zero rapport built up with a girl, it's a lot more challenging to get her out for a date, so in this instance, when you've simply met a girl briefly and grabbed her number, you do need to actually talk to her on the phone.

The upshot though is that when you successfully pull off a ballsy move like the 2-minute number close, you get massive attraction from women.

Parting Thoughts on Phone Numbers

The first method we reviewed for asking a girl if she'd like to grab food or a drink with you before asking for a phone number is going to be your bread-and-butter phone number ask. It's the easiest way to get a phone number, it works in almost any situation, and it's extremely consistent and reliable.

The 2-minute number close is a special situation that you'll only use when you're reasonably advanced and when you're in a reasonable hurry - when, for instance, you're on your way to the airport, or to an important meeting.

Most of the time though, you'll be fine simply asking a girl if she'll join you out again later that week or the next, and then simply asking for her phone number so the two of you can coordinate. It's how you take something that most guys make a REALLY big deal... and turn it into a harmless detail that you simply need to wrap up before calling it a conversation.

If you've been sweating over how to get a phone number from that girl you like, you can stop sweating. All you need is a couple of minutes of conversation - then just ask her if she'd like to see you later on (remember not to be specific; if you ask her if she wants to see you on Thursday, she's probably got plans, so stick to general like "later this week or next week" - nailing down specifics is what the phone number is for), and grab her number.

And just like that, we took a daunting topic like how to get a girl's phone number and gave you the psychological underpinnings of what you're up against, the general setup of how to pull things off right, and the exacting techniques you need to grab a phone number from a girl in well night any scenario.

Not bad for a day's work, eh?

Until next time,
Chase Amante

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Balla's picture

Another great article man, I love that you use so much detail when you explain things and that you don't leave people hanging. You even make new post on stuff you covered before with better detail. But anyway I read in your comment on the last post you said "black guy game" can you please explain what good strong black guy game is? Thanks!

Chase Amante's picture

Thanks, Balla.

By "black guy game," I basically mean very aggressive, very direct game.

Bad black guy game looks like this:

Guy: [hollering at girl as she walks down the street] "Whoa, girl you look good! Why not come on over and stop for a second here?"

Good black guy game looks like this:

Guy: [rolling up next to a sister] "You know what, Miss, I saw you from across the room and I knew I'd be kicking myself if I didn't come find out who you are and what you're doing here. You just have this look about you that screams 'man killer,' and I am intensely attracted to danger. My name is Chase Amante [holding out hand]."

The interesting thing is that good black guy game can be really good, and guys of any skin hue can use it. They just don't for some reason, because most light-skinned guys are conditioned to play things more conservatively and normally lean toward indirect. You will very often see black guys putting it all out there, which leads to either flaming crashes or triumphant victories, compared to the white guys' neutral "testing the waters" approach you'll usually see with them (excepting the guys who are good, of course).


Balla's picture

K thanks man. Sounds like you can make a pretty good article about "black guy game" and how to use it". And funny thing is what you wrote sounds exactly like how a black guy would spit game. I really think it would be a good article.

Chase Amante's picture

Haha, you're tempting me to poke the fire there, man... that would be a fun article to write. Although, good black guy game isn't all that different from typical direct game... but there are a few differences.

No promises, but I might put something up on it ;)


Knight's picture

You're brilliant Chase.
Keep refining everything, you're one of the greats. Also, at school regularly there are a lot of guys who will make jokes in class (not really nasty ones, as they're my good friends, but to just make themselves look better and create a few laughs between the group). How would you go about defusing this situation? Until I reach the point where they won't do it at all. At the moment I just try and shrug it off with little emotion, but sometimes I end up laughing with them. D:

Chase Amante's picture

Howdy Knight,

Grazie! It sounds like you're handling those kinds of guys just fine. I'm picturing the coolest guys I knew in high school and college, and if someone were cracking jokes at their expense in class, they'd laugh a little bit and be a good sport, but otherwise ignore those guys.

You can't engage directly with them or you put them and you on the same level, so don't go telling jokes back or anything. Just let them do their thing and laugh a little and pay them no mind. Just imagine how a really hot, popular girl would react if someone were doing that to her... if she was uptight, she'd try and ignore it entirely, then blow up and get upset, but if she was one of the REALLY cool popular girls that EVERYBODY liked, she'd just laugh and brush it off. You should be doing the same thing as her (and it sounds like you are).


Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase I love the website. There's just so much great information and its kind of overwhelming. Is there any articles I should start on? (I'm just starting out with this stuff).

Chase Amante's picture

Hi Anon,

The site's primarily designed as expansions and outcroppings of the Girls Chase programs, which are designed to provide that kind of condensed step-by-step "work on this at this time, this at that time" instruction. So, there's not a beginner's guide article on the site per se, because it would be too huge to have as a stand-alone article rather than simply wrapped up as a book or video package.

That said, if you're just getting started with the material here, probably the best free resource on the site for new guys (in my estimation) is "How to Get Girls: The Last Post You'll Ever Need." It goes pretty in-depth into the actual mindset you need to have to be most successful with women, and there are plenty of links to specific topics on things that will be important to learn for you to have the fundamentals down, too.

Hope that helps get you going, and cheers & happy exploring,

G.eorge C.looney's picture

Hey Chase!

First, kudos for this "insight"; it has been helpful :D

Since I am a die-hard follower of yours I know you usually only answer to questions that are posted early on. Sooo... there is a problem that's been bothering me... like acid slowly dripping on my mind.

I have to thank you for all my improvement (wich was insanely notable over only four months) and really want to express all of my gratitude! TNX Chase!! :D

Skipping to the problem:

I have my fundamentals laid down really well, girls talk/gossip about me, I have social proof, I seem to be leading and dominant (so they told me and showed me) with next to zero effort, I keep girls around, have popular and rich friends (I'm, girls stare me down, I'm chilled out, Bond type, I'm hard working on my conversation right theese weeks, I get girls investing, calling me, texting me, inviting me over, buying me drinks, I approach girls.... DAMN, they even approach me lately, they speak most of the time, I use chase and sexual frames, blahblahblah, they gaze like they want to eat me, play with their hair... and so on and so forth.

I've read around 95% of your articles and let's say trained myself to an intermediate level... or something more than a pure begginer lets say.
Tnx to you again ;)

Still I have problems when it comes to Physical Escalation... but not problems with getting laid. I have serious problems with the transition from conversation to kissing. Once the kissing is on I have very few problems with bed magic.

I have actually never read any insight that would break down how to get closer and closer, when/how to start putting my arm around or something, hug her, kiss her on her cheeks or I don't fkin know... My question would sound like this:

HOW to get to kissing part if you do everything wright?

I have serious problems with this transition. And I angry even more because I know I would have gotten laid so many times If I had only mastered this part... And I will sooner or latter.

Sooner If you helped me a little ;D

I have 18 years if this can help you with your answer and I pick up/date/seduce girls that are from 17 - 24 years old.

Well Chase, Thank You again for everything, Thank You in advance and excuse me for any English mistakes, I'm not a native ;D

greetings from Slovenia,

Yours sincerely,

Chase Amante's picture

Hey 007,

That's a good question, and yeah, that can be really annoying when you haven't got all the pieces lined up there yet.

Let me try and tackle that in an article sometime this week. Keep your eyes peeled...


007's picture

Thank you!


Chase Amante's picture

All right, Double-O, post is live:

How to Kiss a Girl Like No One's Ever Kissed Her Before

Hope that does the trick!


Hunter's picture

Hey Chase, I'm so glad you got to this, I actually had an exact question about phone numbers only to have you answer it with finesse!

I was pondering however about the aspects of city game vs closed space game, small towns or places you return to because you have to, school or work.

I have done direct openers in places like school and around my city of medium size, but it can go awry easily and when it does, you hear about it back! It is almost normal to meet girls again whom I've approached before. The fleeting moment of awkwardness is fine, but if every girl I approached went awry at school, that'd be too much to handle.

I remember your post on direct vs situational approaching. I advocate direct approaching, but I feel they are not the best in places I return to frequently because I have to.

Can you go over the aspects of situational game? I know most guys actually get stuck in situational game, but after doing more direct openers, I'm having a hard time in situational environments coming off too strong or putting too much social pressure on her!

Thanks again, don't you guys stop anytime soon!


Chase Amante's picture

Hey Hunter,

Sure, that's a great topic. It's a very nuanced one, and it's easy to get wrong. In a lot of ways, direct is actually a lot easier to do than indirect... you've really got to work the clay on indirect.

Let me see about getting a post on that up.


Manny's picture

Nothing but great content on this blog. Seriously this is by far the most helpful blog i've found and trust me i've seen plenty. you sir are a master and definitely know exactly what your talking about rather than simply theorizing. I'll have to get around to reading your book. its pretty daunting at 400+ pages but if these articles are any indication of what to expect, im sold.

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase, i love this site, its got information that has changed my life. I have a question about a recent number swap. I noticed this girl who worked at the grocery store and it seemed like she was interested in me by our interactions and conversations. It seemed like she would be telling me random stuff about her without me even asking. So the other day i decided to ask her out, so I went in and a conversation started up. once again she ended up telling me just some random stuff about her day again without me even really asking, then at a moment where I felt it was right I told her that I thought she was a cool girl and she said thanks and I asked her if she wanted to get some coffee with me some time. She responded by saying that she was taken but we could start as friends and she gave me her number. I feel like I gave her that weird vibe which is unfortunate because I was feeling really calm and confident. I also feel like if she was really involved with another dude she wouldn't have given me her number in the first place. So my question is: is this salvageable and if so how. I was planning on giving her a call but I thought I'd better get some expert advice.

DTD1986's picture

She's taken. Forget about her. Sure you can exchange numbers but you have to say to her: "Well if it doesn't work out, let me know," and leave it at that. There are plenty of available women out there - go out with them. I know this is an old comment, but this reply is for other people in the same situation.

Edmond's picture


I really need some help from ya. I fell in love with a girl who is currently working as a promoter at Fos(clothes). I've read some other articles and it says that it's much more better to ask a girl for a date first instead of her number. Can you show me the way to do it? I just need her to say yes to my invitation for a movie and I know I've very little time to do it as she's working. Can you just show me some good way when I'm approaching to her without getting any rejection? Provide me some samples if possible. Thanks man!

:)'s picture

Hi Chase,

I am very, very, very intrigue with this article! Thanks for posting this wonderful article!

Anyways I really can't seem to find one of your articles on asking one of her friends for her number.

Is this acceptable? I mean I haven't spoken with her in so long, just recently I've begin to think about her and now I want to take action.

Is this acceptable at all?

Anonymous's picture

I'll explain the scenario, I was on a night out and seen a girl who I made eye contact with a few times, she was one of the hostess/dancers in the club, I went over and spoke briefly then asked for her number, she said she's not allowed when she's working and to add her on Facebook, I told her I'm already friends with her and she said to message her the next day
Which I did saying 'so was I'm working just an excuse then?' To which she read and didn't reply. What would your advice be now? Do I forget her? Message again? Or speak if I see her on a night out? I know I shouldn't have said that to start but it's to late now.

P.'s picture

Hello, Chase! Brilliant article as well, yet I got a couple of questions. Everything you wrote above it works also with married women? And you're using the same strategy with both women around your age and older ones?
Thank you in advance,

Anonymous's picture

I just give them my number an d tell them to give me a call, is that still effective?

Anonymous's picture

Interesting article, but I wonder how relevant or important getting "the number" is nowadays with modern technology. Today with social media like email or facebook contact and what information you allow can be filterable or even guage and check you out on your social media background, even smartphones today you can block calls if desired. Is getting "the number" still the be all end all today of initiating dating and interest like it was years ago?

Anonymous's picture


Today I got to talking with a girl from my building on the way home from campus.s It was a casual conversation with some sparks.

Anyway, it just felt natural to keep things in acquaintance mode. She was definitely attracted to me. I think the advantage of being shy but charming is I maintain a bit of mystery. Letting some girls go on the chance that I run into them again establishes that I can take or leave it.

In the past girls that I've talked to on the shuttle or wherever end up remembering me later on. It's surprising how good of memory girls have.... What do you think? Is building a rapport from multiple run-ins also a good strategy?


Falcon's picture

Certain words in our culture have the potential to take on negative associations or have implicit adverse
implications. "Cell phone" and "texting" are two that come immediately to mind given the current war against cell-phone use and/or texting while driving.

Then, too, women are more aware than ever before of the possible dangerous implications of sharing information about themselves that they would once freely give to a man who approached them politely and with a degree of charm.

The superior option to asking a woman for her phone number is to merely say something like. "I really would like to talk some more but I've got to run. What's the best way for us to stay in contact?"

She's got four options: 1) There is none; 2) By phone; 3)By e-mail, or 4) By meeting someone at a specific time or a time to be decided.

If she seems hesitant or refuses you can give her two more options and say,

"Here's my card. (I would create a blog about something that suggests you can be funny, interesting, and well worth knowing). Check out my blog and if you change your mind you can call me ir email me--your choice--and we'll set something up."

If nothing comes of it, this approach still gives you many more opportunities to connect than blowing through an attempt to just drop your nets for her number. You may even find she calls you.

Jonathan's picture

Hey Chase,
I would like to say thank you for this article as I now find getting girl's numbers to be pretty easy. Once I did it right the first time, I've been getting numbers ever since.
Today I used some of what you said here about setting up the question "Would you like to see me again?" But it was with a girl that I already had her number. I only began using your get her number techniques after that random success with her. But I haven't been able to muster up courage to transition to where we could go out together. Today, I mentioned that I would like to see her sometime this week for a wine tasting event (although I already knew the day). She was delighted and she asked when would if be. She had class that specific time and day, but she also asked "should I skip that class, because I really want to go and we are only doing presentations in that class"
I said, "I'd like it for you be there at the wine tasting with me"
She told me she'd text me when she got home so she can decide. An hour later she confirmed that she will skip her class to go with me to the wine tasting!
It was a great and happy surprise, and I have you to thank for that! We're going this Thursday evening
Thank you again for such valuable information in your articles!

Hessam's picture

Dear Chase Amante

First of all I want to thank you for your amazing website and comprehensive helps and advices.

Although that I know you're not much agreed with choosing a girl through social networks (internet) o getting their numbers this way but I have a question about this issue.

I'm really really good at chatting with girls through internet and make them laugh, excited and curious about myself, get their numbers and transfer my masculinity based on and in accordance with all of your fundamentals and advices. But there is a problem here!

After getting their numbers and my first text message, most of them become really really weird and unresponsive to me!

What is your opinion about this behavior? Don't you think that is one of the exceptions and calling them to make them calm and remove the awkwardness is really needed?

Best Regards

tyler's picture

im currently in highschool and this really hot girl is in my math class and has a locker in the same area is me and I was wondering if this line would work:

hey whats your name, my name is tyler I think your beautiful.. can I have your number?

Anonymous's picture

So how would the 2 minute number close work in a reverse situation? Recently, this cute girl started working at this supermarket I go to after I finish work at 1: AM. I'm in no particular hurry at this time, but I wouldn't want to distract her too much from her job, especially since she might be a newer employee there.

As someone who's very shy, with zero experience in dating and very little confidence in myself, all I've managed so far was a quick hello to her and a smile. I got a return smile and hi back, but I don't know what to do now.

Josh Rhodes's picture

There is this cute girl who works at my postal office and usually she works alongside other clerks. And I was wondering how I work past that awkward barrier of asking for her number without embarrassing her in front of the other clerks?

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