All Women Long to Taste Adventure

What do these men have in common?

  • The wealthy investment banker or self-made multimillionaire business owner lounging in the VIP section of the nightclub with bottles of champagne, or skating about town in his brightly colored Lamborghini.

  • The sexy Mediterranean man, a silky accent rolling off of his Spanish or Italian or Greek lips, a specific flair about him that makes him seem rich with experience, intrigue, and hints of the romantic.

  • The enigmatic artist, a lone writer or fervent painter, who exists outside the system – neither retail worker nor manual laborer nor cubicle desk jockey, but creative, tortured soul consumed by his demons, and by a passion few keep past their first decade of life.

woman adventure

All these men have various different things going for them that trigger an assortment of different attraction triggers in women:

Yet, there is also something about each man that the majority of men a woman meets lacks.

It is not something he is, so much...

It is something he offers her.

This thing he offers her is an adventure – one of romance, one of excitement, one of the unknown. One that seems to step right out of the romance novels women turn the pages of with ardor when no one is around to watch them (frequently slipping a hand delicately into their panties as they do so).

Adventure is the great equalizer, and it is the reason you will see overweight, balding, non-rich men ending up with women that trim, good-looking, well-off men struggle to get. Not because the former man is better, per se... but because he offered her something the latter may not have even known was important to bother offering.

woman adventure

No doubt you’ve heard women make statements like this before:

  • “I want to feel alive!”
  • “I want excitement!”
  • “I want to know what it feels like to be passionate about something!”
  • “I want to know what true love is!”

Would you ever make such a statement?

Of course not. This is not a thing men concern themselves with.

A man might want to be passionate... if he thinks being passionate might help him to get laid.

Otherwise, he won’t normally spend much time worrying about it.

But for women? They want to feel.

Women and Romance Novels

For all the hoopla over pornography (and pornography addiction), you’ll never hear a peep about romance novels. Women might freak out over men’s sexual material, but men just roll their eyes and groan over women’s.

In 2010, women spent $1.36 billion on romance novels in the United States.

40% of all mass-market paperback books sold? Romance novels.

55% of all popular mass-market fiction sold? Romance novels.

But romance novels are different... right? They’re not really like porn...

woman adventure

woman adventure

woman adventure

Yep, that’s right. While you were watching your favorite porn starlet enjoy a spit roast, she was fantasizing about “the paint store boys” and werewolves that want love.


And it turns out that women become addiction to romance novels just like men become addicted to pornography:

Shaunti Feldhahn, a best-selling author, was concerned to learn that many romance novels are not as harmless as they look.

“In fact, some marriage therapists caution that women can become as dangerously unbalanced by these books’ entrancing but distorted messages as men can be by the distorted messages of pornography,” she wrote.

According to author of “Finding the Hero in your Husband” and psychologist Dr. Julia Slattery, there are similarities between what happens to a man when he views pornography and what happens to a woman when she reads a romance novel.

“There is a neurochemical element with men and visual porn, but an emotional element with women and these novels,” she wrote.

Men are very visual, and viewing pornography produces a euphoric drug in the body. This drug is the reason pornography becomes addictive. When the natural high wears off, a man will crash and feel depressed (as happens with any drug) and crave another hit.

Women are more stimulated by romance than sex, so they read romantic stories (and they don’t have to be explicit to work) they can experience the same addicting chemical release as men do.

She said she is seeing more and more women who are clinically addicted to romantic books.

The Romance Writers Association said, “Romance readers are a very dedicated audience who don’t see these books as a luxury, as much as a necessity.”

These books may be more than a necessity; they may be an addiction.

Many women do not see their love for reading romantic books as a problem, while others are admitting dissatisfaction in their marriages that may stem from reading these types of books.

“For many women, these novels really do promote dissatisfaction with their real relationships,” Slattery wrote.

Women may find their standard for intimacy begins to change over time because may not be able to get as satisfied with their partners as they can reading a book.

Pornography addiction counselor Vickie Burress said reading romance novels or viewing pornography may eventually lead to an affair for some women.
“Women involved in pornography have a hard time keeping their family together,” she said.

Sounds like much of the same stuff we talked about happening to men in the article on porn addiction.

It’s not just a Western thing. I’ve found women reading romance novels in pretty much every country I’ve spent any significant amount of time in. It’s a worldwide thing: men are suckers for porn... women are suckers for romance novels.

And what’s the one theme romance novels all have in common?

Adventure, uncertainty, and the heroine being plucked from her drab, dreary, ordinary life by a man operating on a higher plane.

What Makes Her Want Adventure So?

Imagine life for the average woman.

Every man around her is... kind of the same. Not very interesting. Not very passion inspiring. Not very exciting.

Yet, all day long, she’s bombarded by stories of powerful, sexual men whisking women away on adventures, on TV, in the movies, in the books she reads, even in advertisements... and she bombards herself with these, too: she actively seeks them out.

Now, that’s not to say that most women aren’t fairly ordinary creatures themselves. Almost everybody is. Or, everybody is period – just depends how far back you pull the magnifying glass.

From an inch away, everyone looks totally distinct. 10 feet away, not so much. A mile? Pretty much all the same.

But just like YOU long for a cool life filled with awesome things and buxom babes, SHE also longs for a life of adventure.

woman adventure

She may not get it. Chances are, she will live out her entire life without ever meeting a man who truly takes her on a legitimate, wild, pulse-pounding thrill ride of uncertainty and emotion and life.

She will meet a string of ordinary men, and eventually choose the most appealing of these ordinary men whom she can hold onto and settle into an ordinary life with him, and that will be that.

And, for your part, you could be such an ordinary man, and you will still end up with a woman eventually.

Will she be your “dream girl”? Perhaps; perhaps not.

But if you could offer adventure... if you could create adventure... then you would live a life of adventure yourself, too.

For you would become the kind of man that most women long to meet: the kind who possess the power to pluck them from their dull, gray existences and fill their lives with passion and meaning.

She wants adventure simply because a deep, primitive part of her craves it. She longs for it as all women have longed for it throughout history, all over the world.

She wants to feel. And nothing makes her feel quite like an adventure does... or, an adventurous man who offers her adventure and includes her.

woman adventure

If you’ve been following this site a while, you know we’ve covered all kinds of things about being the kind of guy who just oozes romance and adventure:

... and of course, plenty of other articles on creating that sense of romance and adventure within the context of your conversations with women:

... and more (there are tons of articles on conversation alone on this site).

And we’ve talked about identities and vibes as well:

... and even where most men botch it up trying to be exciting and adventurous, but not doing so hot a job:

All of these things weave their ways back into the overall big picture of romance and adventure. But now, let’s paint the big picture for the kind of romance and adventure she’s looking for.

Misattribution of Arousal

Ever wonder why horror movies are so common a choice on dates (or at least, those dates that still entail snacking on popcorn and cuddling close in front of a glimmering screen)?

It’s due to a phenomenon known as “misattribution of arousal”; essentially what happens is, ANY heightened emotional state can be reinterpreted into an emotional anchor placed on another object (or person).

I’ll give you an example – Dutton and Aron’s famous “Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety” paper, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology back in 1974:

85 male passersby were contacted either on a fear-arousing suspension bridge or a non-fear-arousing bridge by an attractive female interviewer who asked them to fill out questionnaires containing Thematic Apperception Test (TAT) pictures. Sexual content of stories written by Ss on the fear-arousing bridge and tendency of these Ss to attempt postexperimental contact with the interviewer were both significantly greater. No significant differences between bridges were obtained on either measure for Ss contacted by a male interviewer. A 2nd study using 34 males involved a similar field setting and attempted to clarify findings of Study 1. A 3rd study in a laboratory setting manipulated anticipated shock to 80 male undergraduates and an attractive female confederate independently. Anticipation of own shock but not anticipation of shock to confederate increased sexual imagery scores on the TAT and attraction to the confederate.

What Dutton and Aron found was that simply making men more frightened increased their motivation to follow up later with an attractive female significantly; the physiological arousal made their attraction for her go up dramatically.

Another study, “Passionate love and the misattribution of arousal”, conducted in 1981 and published in the same Journal of Personality and Social Psychology arrived at an even more nuanced conclusion:

Two studies provide evidence that misattribution of arousal facilitates romantic attraction. In Exp I, arousal of 54 male undergraduates was manipulated through exercise. Arousal Ss liked an attractive female confederate more and an unattractive female less than did controls. In Exp II, arousal of 66 Ss was manipulated in a positive (comedy tape) or negative (mutilation tape) way; other Ss heard a nonarousing tape (textbook excerpt). Results replicate the interaction found in Exp I: Valence of initial arousal did not affect attraction to the confederate. Salience of plausible labels for arousal is hypothesized to mediate the misattribution effect.

That is to say, whether exposed to a source of positive arousal (comedy) or negative arousal (mutilation), there was an increase in attraction for attractive members of the opposite sex and an equal increase in distaste for unattractive members of the opposite sex.

It didn’t matter whether the initial emotion created was positive or negative; either way, ANY strong emotional response amplified one’s feelings toward an opposite sex individual.

If she’s attractive, she looks more attractive; if she’s unattractive, she looks even more distasteful.

Many men seem to understand this intuitively; it’s why they do things like take girls to scary movies or scary roller coasters. But not all of these things lend themselves so well to easy sex logistics in our move fast world.

Romantic, adventurous men understand these principles at a higher level: they understand that if they can create the emotions of adventure and romance in a woman, they can amplify their own attractiveness to her and make her positively swoon.

Offering Her an Adventure

Your presentation (how you present yourself) to her is fundamentally important, but I won’t go into that in this article because we’ve already covered it in such detail other places on the site. For more on this, see the articles linked to at the start of this section.

Instead, what I want to do with this section is arm you with some tactics and strategies you can implement to begin offering adventure to the lives of the women around you.

Before I do that though, one last bit of research: “Distinguishing arousal from novelty and challenge in initial romantic attraction between strangers”, published in 2004 in the journal Social Behavior and Personality:

This study attempts to disentangle the influence of arousal from novelty and challenge in the context of interpersonal attraction. Further, this study attempts to demonstrate the robustness of the arousal/attraction effect. Cross-sex stranger pairs participated in one of four game-like physical activities in a 2 (high vs. low novelty/challenge) X 2 (high vs. low arousal) between-pairs design, then completed a measure of romantic attraction. As predicted, those participating in highly arousing activities showed significantly greater romantic attraction to their partners than did those participating in less arousing activities. There were no significant effects for novelty/challenge, contrary to expectations based on theory and previous parallel research showing such effects on love and satisfaction for couples in long-term relationships. Additionally, this is the first study to show an arousal-attraction effect using real randomly paired partners (as opposed to confederates or photographs), in which their actual interaction was the source of arousal.

So that you don’t get stuck offering the wrong sort of adventure:

  • Highly arousing / exciting activities enhanced attraction
  • Novel or challenging activities had no effect on attraction

Get that? So all those really novel, interesting, unique dates guys take girls on, trying to be original... no impact.

Couple that with the poor logistics and lack of connection typically going on during these, and you can sort of get some of the reasoning behind simplifying your dates.

Now... what can you do with a woman that is highly arousing and will cause her to become far more excited by you, through associating those physiological reactions of a faster pulse, heavier breathing, sweating, and the like to you?

Here are some examples:

  1. Unexpectedly rapid seductions: this one’s at the top of the list because really, you ought to be doing this one with every girl regardless of the situation. She’d be comfortable going to bed with you after 4 hours of solid face time? See if you can get it to 2 hours. Or 1 hour. Or less. The faster you can make it move (smoothly), the less control she’ll feel she has over the situation and the more arousing the entire experience becomes. If you’re not used to going fast, it can be a little jarring at first, but it’s highly memorable for women, done right, and very exciting. When a girl says, “It just happened,” and smiles nostalgically, she isn’t thinking of the guy who took five dates to get her in bed.

  2. Blood-pumping physical activity: if you need to break the café / dive bar scene (say, on a second date; or, if you just want to do something different yourself), something with physical activity that is either:

    1. Highly active, or

    2. Highly unexpected

    ... does the trick quite nicely. When I’m near a beach, one of my preferred dates is walking along the ocean with a girl, and picking her up and throwing her into the drink after a bit of flirting back and forth. The temperature of the interaction after a moment like this can shoot so high it’ll burst the top off a thermometer. Anything that’s playful and physical is good; laser tag, paintball, play wrestling, massages... one guy I know used the game Dance Dance Revolution on every pull, and came to rely on it so much he’d take the game around with him when he traveled to make sure he had it handy for girls.

  3. Offering the imagery of a more fulfilling life: very few women you’ll meet (or men, for that matter) live truly adventure-filled, romantic, fulfilling lives. Most are just stuck in the grind. That’s why it’s so easy for them to become addicted to things like romance novels or smart phones or social media. But if you can help her to imagine a life beyond these things – one in which she feels truly alive – you can peak her arousal quite highly.

    Colt’s post on inspiring women is a good primer on doing this; by being the artist or the foreigner or the wealthy man, or even just the man with big dreams he’s working on bringing to fruition, and then encouraging her to chase down her dreams as well, and helping her to open up about what those dreams are, you can free her from her grind, at least for a while and while she’s with you.

  4. Impromptu, rule-breaking detours: here’s one that’s fun, but you may have to train up your spontaneity a bit first: get into the habit of taking impromptu detours when out and about with girls. Sneak into an abandoned building that you notice as you pass it by; go into the back area of some shop or store or mall you’re not supposed to be in; take the stairs to the roof of a building you know you’re not allowed to visit. Climb the fence to skinny dip in a pool late at night after closing time (try to make sure there are no cops / security guards around before taking your clothes off first, though).

    If you lead strongly, she will follow; and if she knows it’s off limits, it’s very exciting for her. Just don’t do anything so risky that it’s going to get you into serious trouble; but, usually, for sneaking into off-limits areas, the worst that’s going to happen is someone will yell at you and tell you to leave. And if that happens? Thank him profusely! Because he just increased your girl’s arousal even more. In fact, I’m still not sure if it’s better to go undetected or get found out and chased off. Both are quite good for arousal.

woman adventure

  1. Doing scary things: horror movies, Halloween haunted houses, visiting real (or, supposedly real, if you’re not so superstitious) haunted locations, walking across shaky bridges or going to other tourist locations where there’s a steep drop... anything where it’s scary AND you can get privacy with her fairly easy (i.e., not a roller coaster ride in the middle of a family-friendly theme park at 2 in the afternoon) can be a real pulse-raiser. Just make sure whatever it is you’re doing, it’s safe.

  2. Motorcycles: I’ve had friends who ride repeatedly endorse these as the “magic pill to getting pussy.” And in truth, I don’t think I’ve met a girl yet who doesn’t get very excited at the chance to climb behind a guy and go for a spin on his hog. The mix of danger and adrenaline is like an instant infatuation potion for 98% of women out there (be sure to bring a spare helmet when you visit the bars to find someone to ride back with you; there are some nasty pictures out there of girls taking it to the skull when the guy they were riding with wiped out).

  3. Comedy shows: if you have good, nearby logistics, comedy shows can be excellent... especially if you know the performer is very good. I find that a single performer with a multi-hour show beats an improv troupe or a series of performers doing skits or stand-up routines, probably because it’s higher consistency of great humor if it’s just one very talented comedian than it is with a grab bag of people.

    It’s also much better if you have row seating and can sit near the back with her in relative privacy and darkness; shows where you’re at a dinner table and it isn’t easy to blend into the crowd and get increasingly physical as the time and laughter wears on aren’t nearly as good. Small shows are better than large shows too, because large shows can be logistically difficult to get away from (big crowds streaming out the exits; clogged traffic on the roads; etc.). Don’t see Bill Cosby or Robin Williams, in other words (for a date, anyway).

There are other things that do it too, like winning fights (few things turn a girl on like seeing you beat some guy up... especially if he deserved it), but those aren’t so easy to plan for or control.

Just think:

  • Unexpected / out of control emotions, and/or
  • High levels of physical activity, plus
  • The ability to connect with her one-on-one during or not long after

If you can mix those ingredients together, you’ve got some dynamite going on.

Real Life Romance Novels

If you think back to those romance novels we looked at earlier in the story, what do you notice?

  1. One’s on an exotic island of “sin” with “decadent pleasures” and “dark passions”

  2. Another’s in a paint store – the lights are dimmed, and it’s safe to assume this probably happens after-hours... sneaking into a closed store she’s not supposed to be in, “primed for passion” (nice play on words there, by the way – “primed”, “primer”: the first coat of paint... get it?)

  3. And the last one is beast-men of mythical power who “want love” – here it’s the female fantasy of “giving in” to a man who is far more powerful and desirable than she is, yet who wants “love” from her (and she knows that the “love” such a man wants is in fact driven by animalistic lust)

(also, right – shirtless men with six-pack abs all over the cover... but don’t think you necessarily need those, any more than a woman needs gigantic breasts and an extreme hourglass figure to have a shot with you, like what you see in most men’s video games, comic books, and pornography:)

woman adventure

Of course, these are all fantasies you can tap into one way or another:

  1. The sinful island with dark passions... easiest if you meet her on vacation, of course – yours, hers, or even both of yours. But even if not, you can still talk to her about her desired travels, and where she’d like to go, and get her imagining it and describing it to you, and the effect is still a good one

  2. The store after-hours where she’s not supposed to be, and now she’s going to get her serving of passion... if you want to emulate this one, just sneak her somewhere she’s not supposed to be

  3. As for the werewolves one... well, you’re not going to become a hairy manbeast if you’re not one already, but you can still get some of that über edgy appeal by getting the right mix going on of sexy, mysterious artist, or edgy, rebellious bad boy (possibly with motorcycle), as these are essentially what the werewolf image taps (as opposed to, say, the elegant seducer or the Byronic hero that is the vampire)

The point is, YOU can be a real, live, walking, talking, breathing romance novel mystery man, if you focus on bringing romance and adventure into the lives of the women you meet.

Get her pulse pounding. Make her have to catch her breath. Make her wonder what’s coming next. Make her feel like she’s doing something dangerous, but not SO dangerous that it isn’t fun. Keep her on her heels, uncertain, and forced to leave her fate in your hands.

Make her feel alive.

This is what she wakes up every morning hoping to feel, and goes to bed disappointed that she didn’t. There are a great many women who only ever experience this in between the pages of their romance novels... which is why the demand for these books is so great.

View it as your way of giving back to the world; your efforts to create excitement and intrigue in the gray lives of the wonderful women around you, once pretty girl at a time.


Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


Get Your FREE eBook on Texting Girls

how to text girls pdf

Sign up for our email insights series and get a copy of our popular ebook "How to Text Girls" FREE. Learn more ...

Related Articles from


Nick's picture

On the second study of misattribution of arousal in your bold

" there was an increase in attraction for attractive members of the opposite sex and an equal decrease in distaste for unattractive members of the opposite sex."

maybe I am misinterpreting but shouldn't equal decrease be equal increase? Threw me for a loop for a second or two, anyway fascinating article.

Chase Amante's picture


Good catch! You are correct - that ought to be "increase." I've just fixed.


robertnyc's picture

Chase - I like the article but maybe as a beginner this view of women loving adventure is not matching up with my recent experiences.

Maybe I need to work more on my fundamentals or on my seduction skills but it seems like I am often offering adventures and sexy times to women and they are just not up for it. A few months back I planted the idea of a sexy lunch time rendezvous at a cute single lady's apartment near her job. I thought meeting would brighten her day and give her some romance and adventure but she just thought I was a bit crazy and didn't even nibble on the idea. She would rather have a boring lunch at her office rather then a sexy noon time romp was my thought at the time!

From recent experience I would say only 1 or 2 women out of 10 responded favorably to my trying to offer a sexy adventure. The other 8 or 9 just weren't interested for no apparent reason, they didn't even try to make an excuse like they had a previous commitment, etc.

I love the idea of bringing excitement and adventure into women's lives but when my attempts to do that are mostly rejected without any apparent reason its hard not to feel disappointed/a bit bitter and to question whether most women are really interested in having romantic adventures like you describe.

Anyway, being the romantic adventurer is certainly something a man can aspire to and I hope to get there one day! I'd be curious to know if you ever ran into the issues I am having when you were starting out and how you overcame them. Thanks!

David Riley's picture

Hey Robert,

It all comes down to a woman's mood and how much effort the activity is going to take. When a woman's at work she's primarily in work mode, and more than likely trying to relax. Now if you suggested the activity for a relaxing stroll after work, she may have been up for it. Women get into routines and unless you're worth breaking routine for, she's not going to budge. Also meeting girls at their jobs is a bad idea if you haven't slept with them. That normally signals you want something serious, even if she's interested she won't go for it.

When a girl dismisses you without making an excuse, it's a sign she's just not interested. Some women are happy with the attention you give. If you're the one putting in all the effort, she's lost interest. I stopped trying to convince girls who weren't interested in going on adventures, and went to where the adventurous girls were. I would go to parks during my lunch hour or breaks in the day. I would walk up to the girls who were by themselves and looked bored. I knew those were the ones who would be interested in what I was selling. Overall, pitching adventures to girls is better in person. Especially when you first meet them. It lessens the chance of them dismissing you.

Take care,

Just Dave

Chase Amante's picture


In addition to what Dave had to say about mood, your own presentation and convincingness in wanting an adventure plays a big role in it too.

A guy who says, "Let's sneak onto that off-limits patio," in a slightly hesitant voice and who's doing it mostly just to impress the girl and who yields as soon as she says, "No... I don't want to get caught," has a very different effect on a woman than a guy who says, "Come on, we're sneaking onto that patio," and when she says, "No... I don't want to get caught," he grabs her by the arm and drags her anyway with a big, confident grin.

Most women fantasize about adventure, but get cold feet in real life the moment before they'd take the plunge. One of the big things they look to the man to do is force them over those cold feet and into action, and this is one where your experience of bringing women into adventures and shrugging off protests or lukewarm initial responses comes into play. When you're just starting out, you'll take these reactions at face value; after you have some experience under your belt though, you KNOW she's going to love it, which just makes all that hesitancy she gives you at first (that you then bullishly overcome) all the more delicious.


Emile's picture

Hey Chase! Great article mate! Explains why its so easy to hook up with girls in abandoned places or the roof! But can you help a brother out with one thing? Humour. I tend to gravitate towards silly stuff. And im aiming for the smart ass wit... Ive seen some articles you posted but still dont seem to get it. Id be forever gratefull if you could send something my way!


David Riley's picture

Hey Emil,

Check out some of these more in depth articles on using humor in seduction.

Mastering Playful Banter
Cocky and Funny
Teasing a Girl in The Right Way

Take care,

Just Dave

Von's picture

So chase, we can take girls to the movies if it's only a scary one? And we can take girls to lazer tag dates for a first date too? do you have to pay for it ? How do you get a girl to pay for lazer tag herself without it ruining the mood?

What about sports? Is playing sports together a good date for adventure?

Thank you

Chase Amante's picture


Almost any of these are fine SO LONG AS you have a plan for what you're doing and you're doing it for a reason.

If you're doing it just to be interesting or because you hope she will like it or you don't know what else to do, you're doing it wrong and are better off going with a café / coffee shop date where you just chat and invite her home after (or adjourn the date on your terms and set up a second date later if you're using date compression).


Torus's picture

Hi Chase,
Before I come to my question, a few tipps what I use in my relationship to increase adventure:
-Risk being caught. Could be semi public sex, but also as easy as slip a hand in her slip under a restaurant table or feeling her up at a friends party in the hall way/ her parents house. She will might protest but like the thrill.
-Plan a date without telling her the details. Just some ominous instructions like: wear sturdy boots. Or dress sexy- no slip. Your plan only has to be somewhat unusual- her excitement takes care of the rest. Restist her attempts to learn more beforehand- give mysterious answers only.
-introduce novelty in the bedroom. She will not asked for it, but might be quite willing to give in to more kinky stuff.

That leads me to my question. I am succeeding to far at sexualy liberating my girlfriend, by being really open myself and pushing her limits outward - she loves it. But when we talked about sexual fantasies, she just did not know what else would turn her on, but she is not too shy to ask for the things we did before.
That's why I bought with her two classic books of erotic literature (Nancy Friday) so she could get inspired and see what turns her on. She never read anything like that before and I still think it can be stimulating for both of us. But your articles makes me wonder:

Am I spoiling my girlfriend and setting up to high expectations by giving her/reading to her erotic literature?

Chase Amante's picture


To some extent, awakening a woman sexually is sort of opening up a Pandora's box. Once it's opened, you can't put the things that have come out of it back in again. If she's a high sex drive girl or has a lot of curiosity, there's a good chance you may be creating "trouble" for yourself later on down the line when you do this if you're trying to hang onto her, when she begins to wonder about what else is out there and what it'd be like to experience it.

Of course, the flip side is, if you don't bring her to a sexual awakening, your sex life will be... kind of dull. So, it's a judgment call: more pleasure and more risk, or more boredom and less risk? I'd argue that the nobler thing to do for her is probably to give her her awakening, even if it means that the two of you may eventually part ways; now she is free to be her true self and do what she truly enjoys, rather than continuing to keep it repressed to stay in lockstep with society.

But it's an individual choice every man must make, and you're under no obligation of course to sexually liberate a woman just because you can (and indeed, there are stages of liberation - getting her comfortable with oral sex and doggystyle when she doesn't want to do these at all at first at the extreme of one end, and getting her into swinger parties and orgies on the extreme other end - just because you unlock one level for her doesn't mean you unlock the next, though it can make her more curious about the next, especially if she's high curiosity and/or high drive).


PDB's picture

Would you ever make such a statement?

Of course not. This is not a thing men concern themselves with.

A man might want to be passionate... if he thinks being passionate might help him to get laid.

Hahaha, truer words were never spoken.

Ross Leon's picture

Also fun to point out that I recently viewed a trailer for a 50 Shades of Grey movie that has been gradually shifting it's way around the female sphere of influence. Girls are going crazy over the idea of a dominant man who sleeps with a normal, pretty girl, because that's the very thing that they wish would happen to them!

As a side, a girlfriend of mine told me that I should have been the lead - but I told her that I'm not a pornographic actor ;).

Adam Malek's picture


Could I have your on something, Dave? Chris Rock once mentioned that girls can not go back in lifestyle. My mother got fired a 16 months ago and now tries some self-employment and her business partner asked her how much she wanted. And she said what she had. Now this might be simple "I am used to earn this, so I want it", but I wonder, if a girl is used to, that her boyfriend pays for, takes her everywhere, to plays, expensive events, would she date someone who is not that financially secure? And if she did, how would that change affect the relationship?

Adam M.

Jimbo's picture

... for your woman: your running from a fight or losing one?

Does a man who loses a fight also loses respect of others? I haven't witnessed an actual fight in a while and my last fight was in junior high, so I forgot how humiliating it is for someone to get their ass kicked, if at all.

Add new comment

The Latest from