How to Get Foreign Girls

how to get foreign girlsI'm a reasonably well-traveled fellow. I've lived on two continents and ventured around on four, with time spent in between on islands in the Pacific and the Atlantic. When you travel a lot, one of the first quandaries you come across is this: how do you get foreign girls who don't speak English?

Well, if you listen to most of your fellow travelers, you learn the local language. If you're in Russia, you learn Russian. Brazil, Portuguese. Columbia, Spanish. Japan, Japanese. After all, you can't very well talk to girls if you neither of you speaks the other's language... right?

And if you can't talk to them, you certainly can't get anywhere with them... isn't that also right?

I'm here to tell you it isn't. It isn't right at all.

And in fact, what you'll generally find is, the most successful guys typically don't speak the girl's language, period. The guys who know the language struggle with moderate success, while men who can't even say "hello" are taking foreign girls to bed by the bushel.

How's it work, and what's going on? That's the subject of today's post. So step right up and listen while I tell you a few tales -- some of my own, and some the tales of a handful of the men I've met along the way...


Why Words Matter Little

Back when I first discovered that there were these men out there who studied and systematically approached the art of meeting and succeeding with women, as I'd been endeavoring to do over the course of the year prior to this discovery, I fastbought a few books and read them in quick succession.

One of those books was The System by a guy named Roy Valentine. It was popular on, but rather different from seduction community stuff. At a time when everyone was advocating memorizing and repeating lines and routines to get girls' attention, Valentine talked about using careful targeting to recognize which women were most interested in you, and looking for the same thing you were -- and then leading those who fit the bill decisively toward intimacy.

To me, this was much simpler, and a lot more refreshing, than a lot of the other convoluted things I read. Straight to the point -- good.

It was a big influence on my thought earlier on; bigger than the other books I read at the time. The idea spread through my mind, and rather than going out with the mentality that it seemed all the other guys around me had -- "I can make any girl want me, if I use the right lines / do the right things" -- I took a different tack:

"I will find the girls who like me as much as I like them... and then make it happen."

I have done, can do, and still sometimes on occasion pull out the old burn-the-club-down approach to meeting girls: just go out and meet tons of them until things finally go somewhere. But these days, just from doing it enough that I'm adept now at reading women's signals, I'm able to largely sit back and wait for a girl I like who likes me too, and just get her.

What I've learned with time by getting good at reading signals is it's next to impossible to talk a girl into liking you. Attraction doesn't work that way. However, by improving your fundamentals, you can vastly increase the odds that any individual woman responds well to you... and you go from there.

But game isn't about convincing women to like you. Game is about taking women's existing initial interest or attraction in you, and steering it, amplifying it, and using it to make something happen.

How's all this tie into foreign girls and speaking a foreign language? Let me explain:

All the guys who are trying to master a foreign language in order to get girls are coming from that "I can make any girl want me with the right lines" reasoning.

Attraction doesn't come from what you say, though. It comes from who you are and how you present yourself.

If you want women to respond better to you, you work on your fundamentals: body language, posture, hairstyle, fashion. You get in better shape. You improve your voice. You get confident with women through experience and learn to lead and act decisively.

The words you use have next to nothing to do with it.

Professor Emeritus of Psychology, UCLA Albert Mehrabian put forward something he calls the 7%-38%-55% rule; you may have heard of it. Mehrabian's rule states that body language (including posture, facial features, and eye contact) accounts for 55% of how well we like someone we're interacting with face-to-face, while tone of voice accounts for 38%. Actual words mop up the leftovers with an astonishingly small 7%.

Words only account for 7% of how much any girl you meet likes you. Your voice tone and your nonverbals account for the other 93%.

93% is a BIG number. And still, most guys focus in on their words, instead of their voice and their nonverbals. Argh.

Taking this into consideration... can you start to imagine where the guys who place all their emphasis on learning the local language may end up going far astray in their efforts to do well with foreign women?

how to get foreign girls


Tales from the Field

My first time meeting up with an expat seducer living outside his home country, he warned me about the local girls. I was relatively inexperienced with foreign girls at the time, so any advice was welcome.

"They're very conservative," he told me. "Without knowing the language here, you probably won't get very far. Also, they don't like being touched by strangers -- so don't touch them."

That night we went out to a bar, and I met a girl who spoke little English. I went on instinct against my pal's advice and touched her quite a lot as we interacted. The conversation wasn't going anywhere, but I could tell she was very attracted. I drifted off with my pal, and a while later I ran into that girl again. She asked me if we were going to leave soon -- and then basically propositioned me. She wanted to know if there was a hottub at my hotel we could relax in.

"They don't seem so conservative," I told my pal.

This trend continued as my travels continued. I'd meet local guys; they'd explain to me how conservative the local girls were, how even if you knew the local language you'd still have a really hard time getting them into bed, and I'd find the women plenty warm regardless without us even understanding each other.

In Osaka half a year ago, I had an acquaintance telling me how it used to be that Japanese girls really liked white guys, but nowadays if you didn't speak Japanese you'd struggle. An hour after he told me this, he watched as a pretty Japanese girl bought me drinks and did her best to try and communicate with me in broken English... then, like that other girl years earlier, coyly implied she'd like me to take her home.

"I can't believe that happened," the guy told me. He spoke near-fluent Japanese, but of the girls he'd gotten in his time in the country, as far as I could tell from the pictures he showed me, none were quite as cute as that one I met on my first night there.

In fact, I've had girls I've taken to bed this year who haven't understood 90% of what I've tried saying to them. I talk to them, and they say, "I'm sorry, I don't understand." Some of them people have tried to translate between us. One of them I met up with on our first date, and when we went to my apartment at the start of the date, I figured that she knew so little English there was really only one thing we could do together. So we did that instead of chit chat.

Meanwhile, my pals all over who've spent so much time studying local languages keep complaining how hard to get the local girls are, and how even if you speak the language they're tough, and must be, they figure, next-to-impossible to get if you can't speak it.

To which I can't help but saying, "Balderdash."

But I'm not an anomaly. A few months back, I was chilling with a guy in Taipei who'd been bedding women like crazy. He knew about four words of Chinese. Didn't matter.

I had another pal who traveled through Europe without ever learning any languages there, but easily slept with a number of new girls.

And in fact, the most successful guys I keep meeting usually don't bother to learn much of the language at all, and even if they do learn some of it, they don't use it at all with the local women -- they just use it for getting around, but not for seduction.

It's enough to make most regular guys scratch their skulls in consternation and yell, "What's going on?!"


How Knowing the Language Can Hurt You

I had a theory. It was just my theory, I hadn't heard it elsewhere, but it stemmed from my thoughts on sprezzatura and the Law of Least Effort.

My theory went like this:

  • Strong men don't need to actively seek integration in other cultures
  • Strong men don't need to learn a language to get a girl (or do anything else they want)
  • Men are therefore likely to be perceived as "stronger" if they are a little culturally insensitive and don't know the language

In other words, the guys who are busily trying to integrate themselves into the local culture, burning the midnight oil to learn the local language, and trying to be something that, as hard as they may try, they just aren't, tend to be perceived as being weaker.

Whereas, the men who are respectful of the local culture but relatively ignorant of it, and are friendly and affable but not too sharp on the local language, will be seen as strong men who aren't running from their own culture / language / heritage and trying to get a place in the local hierarchy, but instead are just who they are.

And really, let's face it... if a woman wants a man who's fully integrated with the local culture, and speaks the local language fluently, she's going to find herself a local GUY!

Women don't go to bed with foreigners because those foreigners are neatly integrated into the local mainstream society.

Women go to bed with foreigners because they're different, stimulating, and exotic.

And the instant you start integrating... you lose that exoticness. You become more and more ordinary. You start seeming just like everyone else, and you get the same expectations placed upon you as everyone else.

In fact, I've seen this oddly in effect while traveling. Spending time with expat buddies who are "integrated" and local women, my expat pals will chide me for doing something that violates local cultural norms, and the women defend me. "It's okay, he doesn't know!" they say. The norms don't apply to me; but you better believe they do to my pals. After all, they've integrated.

This even happens here in China, where I've been, when not traveling through Asia or the US, for a year. Guys who've been here far less time than I have "integrate" right away, and even sometimes lecture me on how I should behave. These guys get treated more or less like locals by women, while I still get special "foreigner treatment."

"Foreigner treatment," I should add, also includes rapid intimacy. As a foreigner, you're both exciting and "safe" to sleep with quickly-- because you're not locally integrated, there's little chance of a woman's indiscretions with you making their way back to her social circle and hurting her reputation. Not so for the integrated guy -- he flips her "local" switches and she automatically behaves more conservative around him.

But what about if you've been in the country a long time?

Occasionally I'll have a girl say something like, "You've been here for a long time now, you should know," to which I just shrug and respond with something like, "Eh, I'm a slow learner," and all is well. Foreigner treatment retained.

I've noticed that women I'm in relationships with will push me to integrate. They do a lot of things to teach me about the culture, and try to teach me the language and otherwise push me to learn. I'm constantly telling them I plan to... and actually, I would like to know some languages other than English, and do plan to quite often, I just... never have the time, and it isn't high enough on my list of priorities that I'll sideline business-building or globe-trotting or girl-getting for language-learning.

The point is, knowing the language and adapting to local social norms can hurt you... because it subconsciously signals to women that you're integrated, and thus ought to be treated more like a local than a foreigner.

Me? I don't want to be treated like a local. Locals get higher scrutiny, longer time-to-intimacy, greater resistance to getting physical, and must fulfill expected social obligations, like meeting girls' friends and possibly even their parents. No thanks. Maybe if things go really well between us... down the road. But not before we've been to bed a bunch of times and have a solidly established relationship between the two of us (meddlesome third parties need not interfere), and certainly not before we've ever been to bed in the first place.


Gaining Perpetual Foreigner Treatment

how to get foreign girlsFirst, a disclaimer: I grew up an outsider, so I'm used to it and even prefer it. I feel downright uncomfortable being considered firmly part of a group; I much prefer to be a lone wolf, doing my own thing, than "part of the pack." So I really don't mind being treated like a foreigner, personally.

I've noticed that lots of guys traveling to foreign countries desperately long for acceptance. In all honesty... I don't get this at all. If a man wants to blend in, what on Earth is he doing in a foreign country? There's a far better place for him to blend in at that he'll have a much easier time of doing so in: it's his home country.

Okay, I've felt a few stirrings here and there of what I assume most folks must feel a lot more strongly than I do. People staring at you on the street; people trying to con you or overcharge you because they assume you don't know the prices or money or language; people dismissing you as a foreigner or telling you you couldn't possibly understand because of some cultural difference. All these things put social pressure on people to conform. "Conform or get out," seems to be the message.

Fortunately, as lovers of beautiful women, we get pretty good pretty fast at ignoring what mainstream society has to say about how we should behave and how we ought to live our lives. Ignoring this kind of social conformity pressure is no different.

Here's the secret to being treated well as a foreigner without integrating:

  • Be warm
  • Be friendly
  • Be genuinely interested in the local people and culture... just don't be too knowledgeable

And that's really about it. You don't have to have a lot of money or be brilliant or dashing. Most people are just happy that you're warm, affable, and respectful, even if you don't know anything about them or their culture or language. So long as you aren't rude or dismissive, you'll be fine.

What are the benefits of avoiding integration? They are:

  1. Sidestepping local expectations. Local guys have to court a girl for a long time before they ever sleep together, you say? Like, months maybe? Maybe longer? Maybe get all of her friends' approval first? Maybe meet family members of hers first? Maybe even propose marriage? Doesn't matter -- you're not a local guy. Non-integration saves you from having the expectations levied upon you that get levied upon locals -- and, usually, upon more integrated men, too.
  1. Retaining the "excitement" factor. I know when I was in the States, when I'd see a beautiful, exotic-looking girl, then go up to meet her, only to find out she spoke flawless English, all of the excitement about potentially discovering some exotic belle from a distant land dried up. This same thing happens with women when they hear you speak their language. They realize you've been there for a while, assume you know the drill, and assume you're integrated. Excitement gone; you're not some fresh, untouched arrival brimming with enthusiasm for a new land and new kind of people. You're yesterday's news. This let down's pretty easy to avoid, though... if you don't integrate.
  1. Getting to be a "dirty secret." If you're not local... and something happens between you and her... no one's ever going to know. So goes her reasoning -- and when it comes to what a woman's willing to do with a man, reasoning is king. Staying non-integrated helps you move a lot faster -- and pull a lot faster.

In other words... in failing to integrate, you get treated as a good short-term candidate, who's not boyfriend material.

The integrated guy who knows the culture and knows the language... he's invested a great deal in making himself suitable for long-term consideration with local girls, so he get instantly promoted to long-term candidate.

I've even asked girls about this, and they've confirmed to me what I suspected: they view the foreign guys who took the time to learn the language and culture as having learned those things and tried to integrate in order to get local girls. Foreign guys who spoke the language and integrated were viewed as actively trying to get local women.

Trying to get local women also seems to pose some the following question:

  • Why is the guy working so hard to get women here? Don't his home country women want him?

The guys who don't bother to learn the language or trying to integrate are, on the other hand, viewed as men who, when they met girls, just happened to meet them, without putting in any extra work or effort. Because of that, they get perceived as stronger, more attractive, and more eligible for fast, short-term flings, and, when they decide to have a relationship, end up being more highly valued in that relationship and command a greater deal of loyalty and stronger emotions.

That's right, I'm telling you you'll do better with girls if you don't bother to learn their language or integrate into their culture. I realize this is politically incorrect. That's okay though; this entire website is. I'm not here to advise you on what's proper, considerate, or thoughtful toward foreigners; I'm just here to advise you on what works. And this is what, I've seen time and again, works.

how to get foreign girls


How to Get Foreign Girls

So how do you succeed with women who don't speak English?

Two words: you lead.

Ask yourself this: if you find yourself with a cute girl, and she's smiling at you, and looking at you coyly and flirtatiously, even though you don't understand her and she doesn't understand you... what can the two of you do together?

You can't get to know her.

She can't get to know you.

You aren't going to debate the relevance to modern sociopolitical thought of the works of Friedrich Nietzsche.

She likes you, you like her, the two of you can't talk... what do a man and a woman who are attracted to each other do together other than talk?

Right. You've got it now. If she likes you and you can't communicate, you just lead, lead, LEAD confidently and decisively to intimacy.

I've slept with a fair number of women this way. Successful guys I've met while traveling abroad have slept with fair numbers of women this way. It works.

Counterintuitive? Perhaps... but only if you're thinking about physical intimacy as some long, drawn out process which women simply won't agree to without the man going through the vetting process.

I'm all about shortening or skipping the vetting process wherever and whenever possible. I'm not in the tryouts for being a woman's boyfriend... neither should you be. You can make her your girlfriend after you've gone to bed together a few times.

In the end, when it comes to getting women who don't speak English, you don't need to learn the local language and norms. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say you shouldn't learn the local language or norms -- or at least don't use it too extensively with a girl before you've slept with her, and certainly don't use it when opening her!

You just need to lead confidently and decisively toward intimacy, and you'll get more girls than the guys who've plowed months into learning how to say, "I think you're beautiful," in the local dialect. People were finding each other and getting physical together long before language evolved; you'll be surprised how effective base attraction works without words. I'm almost tempted to say it's easier to bed girls who don't understand you. There's nothing there but animal instinct, and no words to get in the way. You either make it happen or you don't.

In short, if you've been traveling and limiting yourself by laboring to "blend in," I recommend taking a little while and trying the opposite: don't blend in. Try being a foreigner for a while. You might be surprised at how well a great many women respond to it.


Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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swingcat's picture

Thanks for the insightful post Chase.
Lots of the things you are saying ring true.

However, what you are saying here> "I will find the girls who like me as much as I like them... and then make it happen."

and here>
But these days, just from doing it enough that I'm adept now at reading women's signals, I'm able to largely sit back and wait for a girl I like who likes me too, and just get her.

In retrospect, I followed this approach for way too long and I do regret it. A few years ago, I used to go to a club, do one or two rounds and look for IOIs. Then, I would open a few of those girls that had just giving me EC or vicinity or some other AI. Strangely, I never got any overt IOIs or AIs from girls that I would rate 8 or higher. So back then, I always went for the easy lay. Obviously, gaming and bedding a girl that just sent you an IOI is a lot easier than cold approaching.
Only recently have I started to stop looking for IOIs and only approaching the hottest girls. Again, in my experience these girls will not send out IOIs, or at least not to me. Of course, these cold approaches are more challenging, but these sets will make you grow the most right?

You are pointing out a lot of limiting beliefs and I do mostly agree with you. It is absolutely counter productive to completely assimilate because girls love how we are different and how they can "educate" us. And picking up girls with a few learned standard phrases like "you look cute" is just lame. Given the choice to speak native level Chinese though I would not hesitate a second and I very much doubt that this would mak

RedpoleQ for instance does not speak a word of Korean or Japanese but has been very succesful at picking up local women. I think part of the reason he is so successful is not despite the fact that he does not speak the local languages but due to the fact that he doesn't.

However, he has completely adapted his game to these circumstances.

In my opinion you should work with all the given ressources you have to your best advantages. When approaching women here in China I speak English because it is much stronger than my spoken Chinese. If the girl I approach does not speak English however, I speak Chinese.

There are quite a few Chinese girls I know who ONLY speak Chinese and who told me they always dreamt of meeting a foreigner.
Out of experience I know that with nightgame you can pull girls without speaking a single word. What about daygame however?
And for nightgame, how can you go beyond SNLs without being able to communicate?
You mention leading. Yes, that is indespensable but how do you establish comfort or comfort? How do you non-verbally qualify? Maye you can post some examples orFRs, since you mention that you have quite a few of these experiences. I think this would be really helpful.

>Foreign guys who spoke the language and integrated were viewed as actively trying to get local women.

This might be a women's first impression here, so opening in English definitely makes sense. But I would actually feel a little embarassed having lived here for a couple of years and not being able to engage in communication. In terms of gaming, complete ignorance might help but your quality of life depends on a whole lot of other factors other than meeting chicks, like catching a cab, going to the grochery store, a basic level of independence.
So I think in terms of erradicating some limiting beliefs like "you have to speak the local language in order to hook up with girls" which is bs of course but in terms of practicality I would still opt for a more assimilative approach. Plus, even if you understand local culture and speak the language speaking the "dumb, ignorant foreigner card" works wonders ;)


Chase Amante's picture

Hey Swing-

Lots to reply to here. Plenty of good questions you have in this comment. Let me address:

  1. Targeted vs. Un-Targeted Approaching: could be a good post in here, and maybe I'll get one up on the pros and cons of each side at some point. There are certain benefits to straight cold-approaching without getting an approach invitation first, so I'm not discounting that approach at all.

    For me personally, where I am with my vibe and technique, I generally get approach invitations from the women I find most attractive, and there tends to be mutual attraction. It ends up making a lot more sense for me to approach the women who look best to me and who like me too than it does for me to approach women that are lower percentage hits and frequently aren't the girls I most want either. I still do, on occasion, if I'm determined to pick up / work on a specific skill / am not getting much interest for some reason, but I usually can use the more efficient method of approaching women who've already shown interest, and manage to meet girls I like who like me and save myself an average of a few hours of approaching each time that I can then put into other stuff, like working on my businesses.

    I'd say go based off where you're at. If you're not getting approach invitations from the women you most want to meet, continue doing large numbers of approaches and work on tweaking your style / nonverbals a bit to better interest the women you want. The really beautiful girls DO give approach invitations... but generally they're a LOT more subtle / shy / coy about it than the less attractive women, who need to be more obvious about it to increase their odds of getting a man.

  1. Succeeding Because of or Despite? Second time this week someone's mentioned RedpoleQ to me, actually! Guess the man's fairly well known in Asia. Sounds as though he fits the model of what I've generally seen works overseas. There may be foreign guys fluent in their local languages who post big numbers; so far, the only guys I've seen with large, consistent success though have been guys who stick with English. There seem to be some underlying reasons as to why this would be; but I'd certainly be open to hearing other viewpoints if you have examples of foreigners who are very successful with women using a learned local language. I'm not counting it out; just noting that I haven't seen it, and based on my current understanding of how women assess value, and from my own theorizing and from what I've heard from women themselves, it seems that confident men meeting women in the local language will tend to be at a disadvantage (contrary to what many might thing) compared to confident men meeting women in English.
  1. Women Who Speak NO English. I've met a few of these girls who don't understand ANY thing I say at all. For them, I generally will simply motion them to follow me and try to move things fast. They may follow; they may bow out. I suppose if you know the language, you can use it to some advantage there; I'd imagine for these girls there's also some degree of excitement about moving ahead with a guy they CAN'T communicate with. I don't really have enough data on women with zero English ability to comment on what's the more effective strategy here, so I don't want to start espousing stuff I can't stand by.
  1. Day Game -- Can You Pull Women Without Words? I've noticed when picking up girls who speak very little English that I may talk a lot and they'll smile and nod and then after we sleep together they'll tell me they really didn't understand anything I was saying before we got together. I actually think this makes it easier to bed a girl – she's putting in a ton of investment trying to understand you and keep up with the conversation, and effectively that puts her into the position of chasing.

    So I'd believe you if you said you pulled a girl who didn't understand you, but you talked to her and she just smiled and nodded the whole way back to your place. I suppose you could do it totally wordlessly if you had really good logistics or really strong initial chemistry. A lot of it really does depend on how strong her initial desire is. I don't do daytime approaching so much -- usually just if I happen to notice a really pretty girl somewhere nearby me and want to talk to her, I do -- but if this is something you're very interested in, can always ask some more frequent daytime-approaching friends of mine.

  1. Establishing Comfort / Qualification Nonverbally. This one's a REALLY fun topic, actually, and I'll try to get a post up on it very soon. There's a LOT of stuff you can do without words to make girls feel comfortable and special. Facial expressions and gestures come into play here big time. I'll have a post up on it next week; remind me if I forget!
  1. Long-Term Language Learning. The embarrassment thing is the effect of social pressure -- social pressure is what makes people feel embarrassed. Conformity pressures are actually very strong pressures, and they're pretty tough to resist for most people, so don't worry too much about it unless you have a really good reason. I'm very anti-conformist myself, so I actually bristle at people trying to push me into conformity, which is very helpful in not conforming when I so choose.

    For sure, knowing the local language if you'll be somewhere for a long time is very helpful. I'm still an ignorant foreigner everywhere I travel, so I've gotten very good at getting what I want without knowing a lick of whatever the local language is where I am, and I'm very quick about making new friends who can help me buy stuff for local prices and accomplish the things I need to accomplish. If you're planning to be somewhere long-term though, I wouldn't question you wanting to learn a language to be self-reliant! It's a good thing.

Whew, think that covers everything, right? Anyway, good discussion here, brother; lots of good questions -- hope I answered them effectively.

Now, it's off to finish my preparations for Mongolia with me.


Anonymous's picture

Does race apply to these steps? Or is it perceived as even more exotic

Anonymous's picture

I agree with what has been said, however you do need to know some basics thats where things such as short courses, phrase books or Luvtranslator can come in very handy

Dalaran's picture

Interesting new perspective Chase. I've been in paris for 5 months for study abroad. Met this girl in an aikido dojo. I love aikido and the people were friendly, so I get integrated into the group really fast. Somehow I "persuaded myself" to fall in love with this girl and her personality. Shortly before I left I decided to let her know that I found her really interesting. She was surprised and mumbled something about me leaving soon so it wasn't going to work.

Met her one last time for a drink. She was in financial crisis so I bought her the drink (normally wouldn't do that) At the end she gave me a long kiss goodbye.

I feel like I genuinely like this girl and would like to continue to pursue her over long distance. Do you think it's gonna work?

Also, I have the feeling this is the kind of serious girl who isn't up for sex on the first few dates and is very profound on the inside. So I decided to court her instead of game her. Would a girl like this be willing to have sex with me in the first few dates if I manage to get it right? Just wanna know, so I won't be wasting time in the future.

Keep up the good work man!

Aaron Guenther's picture

I can pick up languages very easily and quickly. However, I can converse in many different languages too. I'm very fluent in Spanish, for example, so wouldn't that be to my advantage if I already know the particular language in terms of getting chicas? After all, if I already know it, I already know it, right?

Frantic's picture

If you are in vacations in a foreign country, being a tourist can be seen as sex tourism... In Asia, the few interesting girls will run away if they know you are in town for a short time.

They will jump on if you tell them that you just moved here and you are here to stay. "I just moved here. I am staying at the Four Seasons until I find a nice house."

George H.'s picture

This makes alot of since Chase... now i understand why i was being ridiculed at my job(panera breads) when a group german girls came in to order and have been here for visiting or had just moved w/e, and i know a little german. so when they started ordering i had spoke about my past(lived in belgium) and my cousins in germany. and then i was speaking german later on when thye where seated to them cause i havent spoke it in awhile and they started laughing like hyenas! it was so embaressing i just stoped talking to them and walked away from there table! so to take notes i assume your article ''How Knowing the Language Can Hurt You'' would relate to this event?


Vigoroso's picture

Swingcat.. I know Redpole Q very well, and he actually is very supportive of knowing the local language as a vehicle towards success in pickup. He speaks excellent Japanese (he's American) and knows basic Korean as well, in addition to whatever he picks up in his travels around Asia. I find this article fascinating, because it goes so much against the grain of what I've been taught and keeps getting reinforced into me.

I'm about to take three weeks traveling to Fukuoka (Japan) and Bali, and plan on running a lot of game on J-girls. I was about to bone up on my limited Japanese that I learned some years ago, but after reading this, I'm thinking about giving it a miss and seeing how it goes.

Thanks for this article, Chase.

mikeh71's picture

Swing Cat, Ignorance is usually not a good thing especially in a foreign country where so many locals have a lot of advantages over you. feign ignorance may work to advantage however. Just because you know a local languages does not mean you need to share that knowledge with anyone, even better you can understand what is being said giving you a slight advantage.

Anonymous's picture

I could have written this article myself, we've got quite a few things in common too, I think.

Just one thing I'd add when you say: "I'm almost tempted to say it's easier to bed girls who don't understand you".

I agree, but in that case, well, looking good and sexy is all the more important.
Words, a deep dive, a connection and a good personality can make up for some good looks, but in strong language barrier cases, well... You better be downright sexy :).

Velour's picture

hey chase,

im interested in traveling more and definitely want to meet girls when im abroad. however, when i have traveled and stayed in hostels, i noticed that the rooms were not very private and in one there were even bunkbeads.

im wondering if you have some insight about where to stay or what to look for in accomodations when in foreign countries, so that you have a place where you can take a girl and escalate with some privacy.


Fred's picture

What advice would you give about a country like India where besides their local language many girls know decent to excellent English? Those girls from rural areas who don't speak it are probably off limits to a foreigner because they are super traditional. Getting caught having sex out of wedlock can get you killed too.

Which girls should I aim for? Rural or urbanised? Should I pretend I don't know English or Hindi with the urban girls?

I've lived 3 years in India without ever getting laid. :(
Maybe I'm just too ugly though (I'm bald but shaven short and only 5'8")

Adrian Adrian's picture

Chase I admire you soo much, as to say your a God to me and your words are my bible. I can totally relate to your words as if you have answered questions my subconscious mind have been wondering all along.

Coming to US and entering middle school, I can only look back at the excitement of my peers then, and how a girl even asked me out. And how genuinely not knowing the workings of my new environment got me a lot of special treatment, boy was it a lot of fun. Too bad I've incorporated it in my behavior that sadly as I rapidly integrated, people weren't paying me attention anymore. But guess what when I started working right after High School, my genuine ignorance, my genuine enthusiasm, my genuine politeness and genuine smiles, got me a lot of warm and friendly customers, patiently going along with my blunders (as I later learned from one of your article, it turns out people mirror each others feelings and emotions). But then as I was slowly criticized by my superiors to imitate their ways, I really broke down, they sure pressured me to conform. And if it wasn't for me saving my genuine cheerful personality, as I got pretty close to tossing it away in order to adapt to my superior mindset. I seriously would have gotten miserable like them. But thankfully I found support to my customers who gave me their sympathy (as they saw me being broken down by them). And does it turns out being your genuine cheerful self, showing humbleness can get you something in life, you just have to tweak as to not let yourself become an easy target to those who would ram you down, to build themselves up. And yes you do notice that once they get you closer to being like them, they will have the same expectation bestowed upon you, meaning more work.


I do love the fact that mr. Chase himself is a lone wolf like I, and just like him he loves to travel, and meet new people. He too shares my value of being non-conforming, something that I cultivated in life early on, that currently I was contemplating to eradicate, but after reading this, I might be into something that is not a loss cause after all.


Some thought's regarding the article made epic sense to me, seeing it for myself how it worked magic. As I always thought it was really disrespectful of American men, to go around our country speaking to women w/o even attempting to communicate in our dialect, but this one American guy I remembered, already had a group of 4 women, just melting in front of him, as he boldly asked for their name in English. And in their faces I could see an amalgam of excitement, adoration and joy. Now I see why not even my step dad who later married my mom, ever attempted to learn our language, as by default it was an after effect of Dominance, something that is closely conjured by his very high ego. A thing that is very sexy to women.

Being raised by my mom as a single parent, I guess it was blessing in disguise to have a father figure (my grandfather and step dad) who possessed an Iron fist mentality, the I don't give a sh*t mentality, as people with this attitude tend to usually get what they want. And if that means keeping women seeing you with a high value and desirability, that they can't seem to leave, even though they say they will (like my mom) then so be it. Taking this in mind, it just proves that women are subconsciously wired to see dominance as attractive. That putting it in action (like in the case of this article) can transcend through cultural barriers.

Although sadly in Anthropological stand point the english/spanish/french languages in itself has driven thousands of languages into extinction (something that is still prevalent today, resulting in an estimated loss of half of the worlds 7000 plus languages by 2050). And if languages are a carrier of culture, tradition and knowledge. I guess we just made our world a less than colorful and exciting place. New cultures, traditions and knowledge can be made, but I don't think you can replace it with something equivalent in my lifetime.................. yet again even if we do attempt to learn a foreign language we tend to pick a dominant languages anyway, so that's not really saving the other minority languages out there, as it makes sense to learn something that you can use in more places.


But yeah, my idea of impressing my host when traveling abroad by mastering their local tongue, just got some serious reconsideration, specially when the goal in mind is bringing home a lady. Oh and I just realized attracting foreign women by speaking her language is a form you trying to IMPRESS her anyways, needless to say the reason why most guys loss a girls interest.

Your devoted fan,
- Adrian

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