How to Have Sex with Asian Girls

asian girlsHere is the next installment in my famous “How to Have Sex with… ” series. In the sphere of Asian girls, I’ve published pieces on How to Have Sex with Thai Girls and How to Have Sex with Filipinas.

Despite not having a particularly strong onset of yellow fever, I have spent a good amount of time in Asia gaining an intimate look into the lives, psyches, sexualities, and beds of Asian women. I have also hooked up with my fair share of Asian girls here Stateside as well.

So since I have experience with Asian girls of all kinds, I thought it would be appropriate to write up a post on how to have sex with Asian girls in general – both in the West and in Asia – and what to expect when trying to take them to bed.

asian girls

For the purposes of your successful pursuit of sex with Asian girl, it will be important to differentiate between how to have sex with Asian girls in Asia versus Asian girls in the West. Because I do believe that these are two very different ball games.

In terms of Asian girls in Asia, I will spend my time focusing on Southeast Asia and East Asia. Though there are beautiful and wonderful girls in South/Southwest/Northwest Asia, the cultures in these regions are much different from what most men consider traditionally “Asian.”

Additionally, I have limited experience in these areas (for now), so I will leave the door open for someone else to tackle these regions.

Asian Girls in Southeast Asia

asian girlsSoutheast Asia is one of my absolute favorite regions in the world. The sun is always shining, the beaches are breathtaking, the food is phenomenal, and the women are wonderful. It’s certainly one of the most pleasant places to meet women – Asian or otherwise (minus the ugly underbelly of the sex trade, but that’s outside the scope of our purposes).

What are Asian girls in Southeast Asia like?

  • They are extremely friendly

  • They are genuinely interested in where you come from and what you have to say

  • They are excited to teach you about their culture and language

  • They have very strong nurturing instincts

How do you approach and seduce Asian girl in Southeast Asia?

  • Being an attractive man still applies. Some people seem to think that just because you’re in a foreign country the rules of fashion and grooming seem to go out of the window. Though the fashion rules can be more relaxed in the tropics, you will do yourself a big favor by keeping up with your style. When I lived in Asia too often I had people telling me that I was the best dressed person in the room – or even that they had seen that day.

    And I definitely took my style down a notch for what I normally maintain in the West. But when you maintain a higher level of style than the men around you, you will make your job a lot easier. And when you have good style and fundamentals, you’ll often find…

  • Women sometimes will approach you or invite you to join them. Sometimes the best way to approach in Southeast Asia is to not to approach at all… because the women will approach you. This can be somewhat surprising for Western men, who are probably only used to this happening while women are in an inebriated state, if at all. But yes, Southeast Asian women are definitely wont to approach men – still in a reserved, feminine way – and make their opinion of you clearly known.

    Don’t be surprised if a Southeast Asian girl comes up to you and say “I like you.” or “You’re cute.” And if she’s too shy to do so herself (which is oftentimes the case), she will send her friend as an emissary to communicate her desires. Alternatively, Southeast Asian girls who like you will often invite you to come join them for a meal or drink. I lost count of how many Southeast Asian girls bought me drinks or even meals in order to simply fulfill their desire of taking care of a high-value man and welcome him into their world.

  • If they don’t approach you, approach them and offer a simple compliment. Southeast Asian women don’t have the faculty of slight (or not so slight) suspicion of men who approach them as you might experience in the West, and in particular in the United States. Southeast Asian girls love meeting new people – especially attractive foreign men.

    I should reiterate that last point. Southeast Asian girls love meeting foreign men – of all races, ethnicities, and origins. So if you’re visiting the region, that fact in itself will automatically work in your favor. And they will not reject your compliment. Even if they aren’t interested they will accept your compliment with a smile. So offer a simple compliment and get the ball rolling on the approach. If she is interested, she will be enthusiastic in finding out about you.

    You don’t need any fancy or clever openers here. Just be friendly and be clear and you should be fine.

  • Keep things moving forward and get past token resistance. Southeast Asian girls love to put up token resistance. Sometimes they will tell you that they forgot to meet up with someone. Or maybe they have to get up early. Or maybe they’ll just tell you to “go home” (which has definitely happened to me on more than one occasion). But as always, you need to pay attention to what women do, and not that they say. You just need to keep having her follow you. And if she continues to do so, then that’s the only confirmation you need that she wants to sleep with you.

    In my Filipina article I pointed out a moment where after a woman told me to go home (and I kept moving things forward), she said “Okay, you can sleep over in my bed. But, we’re not going to have sex. We’re just going to sleep.” When she said this, I smiled and nodded and said “Of course not.” And when we arrived, I actually did try to go to sleep. And then I woke up to her nakedly kissing me. Oh well.

    So don’t be fooled by the token resistance. Some girls are just nervous and/or intimidated by a strong Western man. Others don’t want to appear easy. But in most cases, the resistance will be pretty weak. So keep things moving.

East Asian Girls

asian girlsNow that I’ve outlined what to expect out of Southeast Asian girls and how to proceed in seducing them, let’s take a look at what you will find with East Asian girls.

What are Asian girls in East Asia like?

  • They are very reserved and somewhat socially awkward at times

  • They are intelligent and usually have a talent or two

  • They are very polite and submissive

  • They will be excited to get to know you if you warm them up

  • They don’t like much physical contact in public

  • They can be overly cutesy (think Hello Kitty or those Asian booth pics with pink backgrounds and too many stars)

  • They can be anywhere from quirky to downright weird (think cosplay)

How do you approach and seduce Asian girls in Southeast Asia?

  • Being an attractive man still applies. Notice a pattern here? No matter where you are in the world, or what kind of women you’re dealing with, being an attractive man never stops applying.

  • Being a white male is a great advantage. I was hanging out with one of my college friends in China last year, and when asking him about Chinese women, he said to me: “It’s really unfair if you’re a white guy here. Chinese girls think that all white guys are basically George Clooney.” Now my friend is a pretty handsome guy in his own right, so I took his words with a grain of salt, just thinking that just must’ve been his experience with dating in China.

    But as I spent more time in the country, I was realizing that he was absolutely right. I saw some pretty homely white American and European guys with the most attractive Chinese girls on their arms. The proof was definitely in the pudding.

  • You have to get her attention with a masculine frame. If you go out and about in East Asia – especially in the big cities – you will see that a lot of girls will spend time on their phone when they’re surrounded by friends (mostly males). And this isn’t the type of phone zombification that you see in the West where girls are simply addicted to Instagram.

    Upon closer inspection, you notice that these girls are nervous – and actually somewhat bored. This is because most East Asian men don’t engage Asian girls in meaningful conversation or fun interactions when they’re out and about. The girls are there more to play the role of ornaments for the men. Or alternatively, to come out and boost the male’s social confidence due to the fact that most Asian men are too nervous to interact with girls unless heinously drunk.

    Because of this fact, you have to break the hypnosis with a masculine frame. You have to get the girl to invest in you. You can approach in the day or in a night venue. But no matter what you do, you must keep your foundation in mind. You have to be dominant. You have to be centered. You have to be cool. I suspect that this is why East Asian girls are obsessed with Western men. This stereotype is already ingrained in their mind, and they just assume that white men will fulfill it. Surely you won’t be the one to disappoint them.

  • You absolutely have to lead. East Asian girls are probably the most traditionally submissive women you will ever encounter. They will not lend much of a hand to you in their own seduction, so you must boldly lead them to the bedroom. And if you can do so while maintaining your frame, they’ll wet themselves in anticipation for what’s to come. And just as I pointed out in my submissive women article, you’ll have to take the lead in the bedroom as well.

    I’ve found that Asian girls do very little in bed and expect the man to do the lion’s share. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it is definitely something to be aware of. And if you can dominate them in the bedroom, they will absolutely lose their minds.

asian girls

First Generation Asian Girls in the West

asian girlsNow that I’ve taken care of what to expect with Asian girls in Asia, let’s discuss the expectations and approaches for Asian girls in the West.

Now, if a girl is first generation, chances are she’s been instilled with traditional values from her parents. So these girls will be similar to girls you’d find in Asia in various ways:

  • They are not likely to have sex with you on the first date

  • They are feminine and more reserved

  • They are nurturing and kind

  • They are hardworking and motivated

  • They usually have pride in their heritage in public

  • They are usually bilingual (always a bonus)

How do you approach and seduce first generation Asian girls in the West?

  • Solid Fundamentals. As always.

  • Follow the Same Opening Formula. You still don’t need to do anything fancy to get the ball rolling with these girls. Chances are you won’t even know that she’s a first generation Asian girl until you actually start talking with her. But if you do know, or at least have the suspicion that she is, just open with a compliment or an indirect direct opener.

  • Be Playful. Because traditional Asian upbringings transferred to the West can be quite strict, I’ve found that first generation Asian girls really appreciate men who are playful and can bring out their lighter side.

  • Just Ask Her Out on a Date. Since they still have traditional values, you don’t have to jujitsu your way into “grabbing coffee or dessert with nebulous romantic implications” as we’re so used to doing her in the West. Just keep it simple and ask her out. If the desire is there, she will most certainly say yes.

  • Push the Sexuality in Stages. As I pointed out earlier, these girls aren’t likely to sleep with you on the first date. But you are still the man and you do need to make things happen as quickly as possible. So push things to just+ as far as she will allow them, and then pull back. And keep building up the excitement and sexuality through 2 or 3 outings before pushing for sex.

Any Other Generation Asian Girls in the West

What if you have an interest in an Asian girl who is second or third generation? Treat her like you would any other Western girl. I’ve seen some Western guys treat 2nd/3rd generation Asian-American or European Asian girls like the girls are actually from Asia. And this move is a surprisingly poor one based on a misguided assumption that just because they have Asian blood in them they will behave a certain way.

Any Asian girl who has been exposed to generations of Western culture will behave like any other Western girl. So act accordingly: follow the advice on this site and realize that just because she is Asian doesn’t mean she’s special. If you can’t find the traditional girl you’re looking for, the key is to get back onto your path and keep searching.

Why Are More Westerners Looking for Asian Girls?

asian girlsThere’s definitely a move in the West toward making Asian girls the true prize in this part of the world.

Why is this so, considering that these girls were probably on the bottom of the totem pole just 10 to 15 ago?

Simple: Asian girls tend to be skinny (i.e., healthy), nurturing, and traditionally feminine. And these qualities are quickly falling by the wayside as we usher in an age of more aggressive, individualistic, and overweight women.

So Asian women are simply maintaining the standard the Western men used to expect from Western women.

And now they’re steadily climbing their way to the top of the pack.

Asian Girls Are Tight: Fact or Fiction?

For guys who have never hooked up with an Asian girl before, they like to speculate on what they’re like physically. It is a generally held belief that most Asian girls are tight, which can make sex a slightly difficult (or at least more challenging) prospect for certain men.

So what’s the deal with this belief? Is it true or not? In my experience, this is true in most cases. Asian girls tend to be tighter, which can make sex uncomfortable for her if you’re more well-endowed. Or if it’s not uncomfortable, it can be harder to get things started to begin with (I remember an occasion where it took me 15 minutes to ease my way into an Asian girl’s body. I almost gave up. But it was worth it).

And it often is only made more challenging by the fact that most Asian girls are so very skinny. But don’t let this discourage you. Great sex can still be had.

So there you have it. In case you were wondering, this belief is based on what I and the men I’ve talked to have experienced.

Biggest Downside to Asian Girls: Craziness

They are called “crasians” for a reason. Asian girls take the birthday, wedding, and prize cake for being the single craziest subset of girls I have ever dealt with. If you’re on their good side, then it’ll be like living in paradise.

But if you hurt them emotionally, they will lay into you like you’re their fiercest enemy. If you try to leave them, they will keep tabs on you with the acumen of Sherlock Holmes. If you become emotionally distant, they will get emotionally desperate and cling harder than Mufasa to a cliff side.

To this day I have not met a single Asian girl who didn’t have at least a little bit of crazy in her. So if you do get involved with an Asian girl – particularly on a deep emotional level – don’t be surprised if any of the above happens to you. Consider yourself warned.

Wrapping Up

Having sex with – and possibly dating – an Asian girl can be one of the most enjoyable experiences you can have as a man, especially if you are a non-Asian man. Asian girls are sweet, they are caring, they are genuine, and they are cultured.

But as you now know, the kinds of Asian girls you will encounter – and how you interact/seduce them – will vary greatly on where you are. But now you have the tools to employ for each scenario.

And if you get into anything more serious with these ladies… know that it’s probably going to be a rollercoaster ride. But to pay homage to Dwayne “Lil Wayne” Carter: “What should you scream for? This is your theme park.”

Enjoy the ride.

Carpe diem,


Colt WilliamsAbout the Author: Colt Williams

Raised in the American Midwest, Colt Williams made a name for himself in dating with a style based on soulful poetic seductions and playful dance floor antics. His style is all about inspiring girls and drawing them into one’s world. You can book phone coaching with him here, or get a copy of his guide to getting laid on Tinder, the product of months of study and experimentation by him on the medium.


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KennyM's picture

Great article, man. I'm just a bit confused on what point you make, which is under the subtitle "You have to get her attention with a masculine frame."

Can you elaborate on this? I'm a bit confused by what you mean with the example you gave of girls who are out in public with their men.

Also, do you think Asians are crazier than Latinas, Colombian women? I have found Colombian women to be the craziest thus far although I've never been in a relationship with an Asian.


David Riley's picture

Hey Kenny,

A masculine frame exhibits the following:
Masculine Presence
Sexy Body Language
Sexy Walk
Sexy Smile
Sexy Eye Contact

Some girls are distracted and just want some attractive male attention. They're just hoping to run into an attractive man today. Girls go through an ordinary day to day life for the most part. So when they actually run across an attractive guy they're completely blow away.

Crazy Factor: To each their own, I've dated a good number of Asian girls. They were mostly Filipino though. I wouldn't say they were crazier than some of my ex black girlfriends though. That's just me though. Any girl can go crazy depending how much she likes you. Some girls are crazy in different ways, black girls would stalk me, white girls would try to sabotage my social network, Hispanics would cuss me out, and Asian girls would just flip out and then forget about me over time.

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Ok, once again you mention that if you're white that's a great advantage because East Asian men tend to not lead. What if you're an Asian American man? I recently visited a Californian city and noticed to my chagrin that the Asian women I saw tend to be with white guys. Sometimes I wonder if my own kind has turned her backs on us Asian men...

I only say this because I have been using online dating for months now but am unable to scare up a single date. I discovered much to my displeasure that Asian men are discriminated hard against, meaning we have THE lowest interest and response rate of any other races. My recent Tinder experiment shows this to be the case, too (100+ likes and only 1 match). The white guy continues to be king. I'm referring to the OK Cupid study.

Even though Chase's friend wrote one article a while back about how race really isn't a factor, anecdotal evidence, like the OK Cupid study, indicates otherwise.

I'd love to see more articles aimed toward Asian guys. With the bulk of the writers being white and one black man, the lack of role models for Asian men as lovers and romantics interests in basically anything (media, movies, etc) is very disheartening at times. Thanks.

Anonymous's picture

You're right. I'm an Asian male in my late 20s living in the CA bay area. I'd say about 80% of my Asian female acquaintances and friends have a white boyfriend or husband. One "friend" specifically and repeatedly laments how it's too bad we're not dating because I'm not white (she only dates white men). It's like an epidemic of intra-racism.

I think you just have to accept this. Before it's too late, keep looking until you find someone who is open to Asian men (i.e., treating every race the same or specifically looking for Asians). If you're lucky, you'll find an Asian girl interested in you on OkCupid like I have. I think the most valuable tip you can take from this article is to be playful. I've found that is literally the most effective thing for Asian girls of our generation if you're not a PUA alpha or whatever.

At the same time, you can study what your Caucasian counterparts are doing to be successful with Asian women. Yeah, some girls will go after white guys because of the looks, but perhaps there are also things you can learn about them. What is it (besides things you can't change) that makes them attractive?

Hope this helps.

Chase Amante's picture

Hey gents-

Worth noting that California is probably arguably the worst/hardest place to try and meet women in the United States. The male-female ratios in the Bay Area, for instance, tilt strongly in favor of women (San Fran itself isn't too awful at 112 single men 18 to 29 for every 100 single women, but Santa Rosa, Vallejo, and Stockton are all at 24 to 28 + single men in that age range, and San Jose's at 130 single men to every 100 single women).

We've had a few Asian commenters on the discussion boards note that the worst cities they've found for Asian men to meet women in are the ones with large Asian populations - San Francisco, Vancouver, Toronto, etc. These are just hard cities in general as well - some of the toughest places to meet girls in, and the ones where you'll see the greatest number of attractive, successful men pairing off with mediocre women because that's the best they could do. They're definitely cities that are "buyers' markets" for women (as compared to, say, NYC or Chicago).

+1 on playfulness. All my friends who specialize in Asian women (from Asia or first generation in the West) exude playfulness and it seems to be an adapted personality trait. Although I have known a few Asian men who did extremely well with the very dominant, aggressive personality style too, though that isn't suited to everyone I suppose.


Anonymous's picture

Hmm...I'm about to take a job in a small coastal city just an hour's drive south of Silicon Valley. Reading Chase's comments about San Jose having a 130-male to 100-female ratio is now giving me second-thoughts, as I was going to use that as a stomping grounds. Then again, I have lived for far too long in one of those small towns in the middle of nowhere that Chase keeps talking about having to move away from in order to have a dating pool. So, I guess being closer to a big city is still a step-up for me.

lucifer's picture

Hey Chase,

I am still struggling to understand the numbers here:

How can there possibly be an overall oversupply of men in the younger age bracket if at birth men and women are more or less evenly split?

I just can't wrap my head around it..

Chase Amante's picture


So far as I can tell, there are several reasons for this:

  1. Men date younger quite frequently, while women do not do so nearly as much. A 30-year-old man dating a 22-year-old woman, and then a 40-year-old man dating a 32-year-old woman - not all that uncommon - means one less single man for the lonely older single women, and one less single woman for the lonely younger single men. Thus, larger populations of single older women and single younger men

  2. U.S. infants are born at a rate of 105 male births for every 100 female births, with few of these males dying from accidents or war in modern times; this means an extra +5 single males everywhere in the developed world until these men start dying earlier from heart disease and cancer, as they are wont to do, eventually leaving single older women alone (since they live longer)

  3. Another possible compounding factor, though likely nowhere near as important as the former two: since 1980, immigration in the United States has brought in more males than females, adding to the male surplus, especially in major cities, which is where immigrants tend to head


Jeff's picture

As an Asian male, I agree. I think we're dead last, way behind any other race. I think it's two fold: 1- the media and 2- our ideas of what women want.

The media does traditionally portray Asian men as weaker and less masculine. Does life imitate art or does art imitate life? Truth is, most Asian men I know, aren't the "manliest" in the western sense of the word. And this brings me to my second point...

Asian men tend to think all women want a financially secure, boring, serious guy. Look at any Japanese anime movie. The lead guy is some boring tool who wears glasses and is way too serious. He gets the girl at the end because the manga is written by a dorky Asian guy. In reality, this is the nice guy who never gets the girl. Almost all of my Asian friends know nothing about how to get women. I stand out from them as I've been school pretty well by Chase. I know what women want and I know how to act around women. So I get way more action than other Asian guys.

Now, you mention Tinder and these other modes of getting women. When it comes to just looks, sorry to say, we're almost dead last. Because the stereotypes come into play. Women are seeing a pic of an Asian man. She'll swipe "no" on Tinder. But if you walk up to a woman and talk to her the way this site talks about, then you have a shot.

Just deal with the fact that looking like an Asian man is a negative. Sort of what it must have been like to be black in the 1940s. Whatever, though. It's life. Deal with it. Just meet women IN PUBLIC (not online) and go strong and give everything you got.

Let her see that you're a real man and she'll be yours.

asian dude's picture

It would be would wise not to feed yourself with what the media tells you in the first place. Just today alone.. i saw a huge porpotion of Asian/non-asian female couples today and my buddy is married to a white women. Let me also add to the fact that my mentor is half white half asian whose father is Asian. I mean if you know your history.. Asian guys where dating non asian women in the 1930s and this was during the time of the Anti-miscegenation laws. Ever heard of Mexipino? that started with Filipinos/Mexican women...

You need to understand women are social creatures in i wouldn't be suprised if asian girls are dating out...never bitter though, because i would have to ask myself if i would date these women myself...and not the fact just because i see an asian girl.

shit... i know this article is about sleeping with asian girls...but i would recommend you reading the articles:

Tapping Your Social Circle to Meet Loads More Girls.

True Freedom Means Many Weak Ties and Few Strong Ones.

blah blah... thats how asian girls do gonna have to put yourself out there and be an asian its well worth it when you hop back to the asian circles. added with the insights on on this will be different to other Asian me bro...

you gonna have to get out of comfort zone and make friends with different types of people of all racial backgrounds, social class,,to expand your dating pool..

Anonymous's picture

As in, from Spain (as opposed to Latinas)?

Or more generally maybe, in any country where male competition is fierce as the guys have a tendency to be natural seducers themselves?

In my opinion, Spanish girls (and Mediterranean girls in general) are among the most sexy girls of the world, but they can also be quite hard to "get".

David Riley's picture

Hello Anon,

I will let Chase and the other authors know of your request.

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Heyy Colt, great article... I am a guy from India, and I am 19...I have been following this site for a while...great articles...but the girls here are not as open to having sex on the first meeting for the fear of being judged by the society...and being a country in which we live with our parents makes it harder to find places to have sex.. !! If any of the board writers have an experience on how to do better with Indian women, please write up an article, would love to read it..

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

Another user request an article on "Getting Indian Girls", I let Chase and the other author's know. Stay tuned!

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase! Great article! BUT I DESPERATELY NEED YOUR HELP. The new school year has started(I am a senior), and during the first week in my buisness class(1st hr) my teacher made us do an excercise where we had to get up and go around the room and talk and introduce ourselves. And if we found a person who had a trait on the paper, we'd get them to sign it(kind of like bingo).One of the girls (a REALLY CUTE ASIAN) came and introduced herself and we found out that we were BOTH BORN OUT OF STATE. She is also in my marketing class(3rd hr) and the SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN. After this, I began to think about my interactions with her and safely assumed that she has some interest in me. However, I didn't do anything with her, and she ended up becoming friends with a foreign exchange student from Bahrain( I too am Arab). It's the second week of school already, and I'm losing her. My question to you is, how do I get her to like me again?(what would you in my place?) I have read your article on girls in class(another great article,by the way). I'm thinking if doing the food in the bag thing but I kinda figured it's too late (she's also a vegetarian). She is also new to the school. Any helpful and useful advice/suggestions would be much appeciated. Thanks! -A BIG fan of yours

Nada's picture

Nice article! Great job really.

One thing that concerned me though, is when you said Asian girls are going up the totem pole because they have qualities Western men want in women. That's a good thing of course (I am an Asian woman, too) But it kinda makes me feel bad for Western and other women. I don't think interracial marriages are bad, but it's sad when a majority of men from one society will somehow abandon a majority of their women because they are fat or whatever the reason.

So.... I kinda need some reassurance that even if Asian women become the #1 desirable woman, no one else will lose their ranks.

EvanK's picture


Had to rain in when I saw this post... No, white guys aren't abandoning white women. Look around. Magazines, movies, TV... what do you see? It's usually the Western ideal of beauty. Not the Eastern ideal.

The article at which you are commenting doesn't say that white women will be obsolete. In fact, ask almost any guy what kind of woman he prefers, and he'll usually say white or Latin. Not Asian. Nerdy white guys tend to like Asian women, but I can guarantee you most white guys, like me, don't give two shits for Asian women. I'll always pick a sexy blonde or a sexy Latina over an Asian. Most guys do care about curves, sex appeal, and a face that isn't Asian. That's what we get from white and Latin women.


TheSarge's picture

I spent three years in college hanging out with the Asian students. I can tell you that the NE Asian women wouldn't touch a Black-American man if you paid them for it. There are several reasons for this. The first is they have been taught that we are the lowest of the low by the media and traveling white people. The second reason is even if the women are interested in black men, their parents will never allow it and will cause plenty of hell to prevent such a union. The Chinese, Japanese and Korean women were friendly with me just for the fact I was perhaps the only real American at my that eagerly pursued efforts to be their friend, sex and dating just wasn't going to happen. I have yet to experience any incursions into East Asia to enforce my observations to date.

So, any other ethnic minority who thinks they have it bad, believe me when I say it's not as bad as being Black. EVERY Asian woman I met in college only wanted to date their own; Chinese, Japanese, etc.

Sad. I'd do the most unspeakable sick #%@$ deeds to have an Asian wife. I'm not the only one who feels this way. Desperate? Nope, I only want what everyone else either has or wants.

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