Secrets to Getting Girls: The Last 5%

last 5%I was sitting in a nightclub tonight, smoke and booze surrounding me, sipping on a Jack and Coke (or what passes for one in this country), and thinking about some past interactions and feeling vaguely annoyed. There was the girl on Saturday whose friend was pushing her to go home with me as hard as she could, but the girl was a little too shy and wanted to push that back. I didn’t push as hard as I could; I still have a decent chance with her – she’s set to come cook dinner for me later this week – but my chances would’ve been better had I pushed a bit harder and taken her home that night. She liked me enough, but rather than close it out when I had it I let it slip through my fingers. Then there was the girl I brought home Friday night but who stayed tense and I didn’t push anything with since I couldn’t get her comfortable. She wants to see me again too, but my chances in the future are far lower than they were that night she was sitting in my apartment.

If I count the number of women I should’ve been with that I didn’t get together with because I dropped the ball during that last 5% of the interaction, when I’d already handled things perfectly during the other 95%, I’d probably go crazy. There was the girl I fooled around with in my hotel room in Ho Chi Minh City who had my cock in her hand and her tits in my mouth, but I didn’t push as hard as I could have and nothing came of it. There was the girl I pulled out of a nightclub in San Diego after a Herculean effort, pulling her out of her own birthday party in VIP and fighting hordes of men competing for her, and her desires for a pretty redhead she made out with on the bar while everyone watched. I had her at my car, alone, with her talking about how she couldn’t go back to sleep at her own place, and I, feeling exhausted after all the work I’d done to get to that point, let it slip during the last 5% and lost it. There was the beautiful newlywed girl I’d met on an airplane who was stretched out on my bed after cooking me dinner, waiting for it, leafing through my SuperSex book while she waited me to join her, and I hesitated and lost it. There are innumerable more like this.

For every success, count at least three dropped balls during the last 5% somewhere along the line. It’s maddening.

Why the Last 5% is So Dangerous

The last 5% of the interaction is the most dangerous part of it there is. This is the point where the girl starts fighting hard and throwing up walls if your close isn’t executed perfectly, and this is the point where you as a man start feeling fatigued from the interaction if you’ve had to manage a lot and you’ve been trying to move things forward for a while. You can also very easily fall into the trap during the last 5% of thinking to yourself, “This girl likes me. I can always just see her another time.”

But that last thought is a fallacy – your chances of getting together with a girl are inordinately higher the first opportunity you get, and they drop drastically each subsequent time. So your chance at getting together with a girl is highest the first time you get a chance to go for intimacy with her; if you have to see her a second time for this, the chance that the two of you get together is markedly lower. A third time, dock yourself even more, and a fourth time, unless she’s an incredibly conservative girl and she’s committed herself to you already for one reason or another, it’s probably not happening.

It’s so easy to get caught thinking otherwise, though. You start feeling fatigued, and your mind thinks it’s easier to just fold than it is to push more and try harder. As it turns out, this phenomenon is a fairly well scientifically established one; after exerting a great deal of willpower, one’s ability to exert further willpower drops precipitously. Which means, if it took you a great deal of work to get a girl to a certain point, the temptation to simply let things fall apart in the last 5% can be great. Your mind, running on empty in the willpower department, just wants to call it a night, get some rest, and freshen up.

This is why acting with intent is of such vital importance – you need to know what purpose you’re meeting girls for and taking them home for. Without purpose, you can lose things at the end, and that’s never a good feeling later on when you go back and reflect. Sometimes you get those girls you let slip through your fingers, but it’s uncommon. Far more likely that you never see them again.

Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night

“Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” This is the kind of thinking I recommend you take into your interactions with you. When you’ve gone 95% of the way, and the end is in sight, fight against laziness, or lack of willpower, or whatever it is that tempts you to give up the ghost during that last 5%. The girl was ready to go, then starts backing away? Don’t let her gobe persistent and find a way to make it work. It feels like more work at the time, but you will look back and thank yourself later for having done it – rather than look back and smack yourself in the head like I still do with the examples I mentioned above.

Truly, I can think of plenty of moments too where I raged against inertia and lack of willpower and pushed myself through that extra 5%, and I’m forever grateful. My former girlfriend of 2½ years I had a moment where it was basically do or die; I’d just had a huge dinner, my stomach was bursting, but I had one window to get together with the girl and I probably wouldn’t have gotten another. The last thing I wanted to do was go up to her hotel room and make a move and get intimate, but I did, and she ended up being one of the best experiences of my life.

Sometimes you push during that last 5%, and pull out all the stops, and do everything humanly possible to get together with a girl, and it still doesn’t work out. But at least you’ll be able to look back and say to yourself, “I gave it my all.”

You must make the effort to finish the last 5%.

Experience’s Boon

The good news is, as you get more and more experience, the last 5% increasingly becomes as straightforward as the other 95%. You only get weird hang-ups or willpower run-outs during novel situations that tax you mentally more than the scenarios you’ve been through dozens of times already. My last couple of successful pickups I had almost no second thoughts during the last 5%, and everything progressed incredibly smoothly, with hardly any resistance from the girl at the end. This was because I was dealing with standard situations I’d been through over and over again and I was just executing the steps I was accustomed to following.

So, in a way, dropping the ball during the last 5% can actually help you figure out what you need to target. For instance, this past weekend taught me I need to be targeting:

  • Situations where I bring the girl home and she’s still uncomfortable
  • Situations where the friend is pushing my girl to go home with me but the girl is resisting

Good lessons for a weekend I didn’t even feel like going out during.

Overall, though, the theme here is one of the ones we see throughout seduction: the more experience you get yourself, the more fluidly, effortlessly, and effectively you perform in future encounters. Each dropped ball gets you closer to having it all work out for you next time, so don’t let it get you down. Just learn from those girls you lose during the last 5%; don’t beat yourself up too much; and get out there, meet some more girls, and push a little harder next time.


Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Teflon's picture

I have been doing this pick up stuff since 1997 and grew up as a natural (I worked in the film industry and photo assisted for some mens mags while in college so models, Playboy chicks and industry girls were always easier for me than civilians.)

But this is how I can tell you are not in the U.S.: the fact you have girls literally pushing their friends on you. The only place in North America where I've seen girls actively encourage and lobby their friends to go home with some strange guy is Montreal Canada. (Montreal also happens to have the best nightlife because of this and Canadian girls love American guys)

This notion of girls pushing their friends onto a guy to take them home is much more common in other countries (I've traveled to 35 countries so far, including South-East Asia, Eastern Europe, Western Europe, Japan and the Middle East). This behavior from girls, for the most part, is NOT happening in the U.S. - most girls here cock-block as you know, and guys AMOG. The U.S. is a culture of running interference and jealousy, which is a scarcity mentality, not an abundance mentality. But even in Canada I had other guys encouraging girls to leave with me - only in Montreal.

So while your articles and info is some of the best I've read and are skewed towards a more natural form of game, which I have been doing for years, you need to point out at all times that you are OUTSIDE the U.S. and therefore your rates for closing are going to be even higher than if you were in the states.

FACT: After running game and mastering pick-up in the U.S. - well that's like playing for the Yankees... Every other country is like going back to Double AA Ball. That's why I tell guys to buy plane tickets and not dinners. : )



koper's picture

Hey Chase,great article again man.
My question is this:If you DO f**t it up during the last 5% but you keep contact with her and she is genuily busy,what would you do?
Be confident and arrange a meeting no matter what or let her take her time?
Thanks in advance mate,you articles are eye-opening!

Dryphter's picture

Exactly what Koper asked..I'm in the same situation..what do I do??

Anonymous's picture

Exactly what Dryphter asked.. Chase can you please answer!? cant find it anywhere. She's busy says No i cant. If you ask again you are chasing? Or give her little bit time (couple of days) and ask her then?

Franco's picture

You really can't f**k up the last 5%... that part is very important. If you've known her for a long time, you might get another chance. But if you don't close the deal the first time, it becomes a LOT harder to get her to that point the second time. There can be multiple reasons, but the main two seem to be this:

1) If you back off based on her last-minute resistance (i.e. she is saying things like "I'm not sure..." or "it might ruin our friendship..."), then you are validating her concerns. She'll legitimately think you backed off because you are not looking for something more than a one-night roll in the hay.

2) You show weakness. Remember, if she REALLY doesn't want to sleep with you, she can leave. Until she actually gets up and leaves, you should keep pushing for the close.

If you did mess up the last 5%, your best bet is to try to get her out as soon as possible again (as if you never even went on the first date). But next time, don't mess up the last 5%! ;)

Hope this helps, fellas.

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,
Found your website last week and love it. The last 5%, hmm. I attend university and met this girl from one of my classes. Though I was attracted to her I never made a move because we both were in relationships. I decided to flirt with her online during the vacation and made my intentions known.

She ended up at my place after some persistence on my part. By this time we had gone out a couple of times and I was touching her and she seemed comfortable more or less. When she came I ensured that I moved as fast as I could however, kissing was a no-no for her since she is paranoid about STIs and the like. She's also "morally just" and insisted that we can't do this because it's wrong and clearly wanted to cry (genuinely).

With little clue what to do I stopped before I began to escalate physically again, touching everywhere through her clothes before tears came again. I'm thinking that maybe she loves her dude. I remember in one of your posts that this is something to avoid if that's the case but just still wanted some clarification on the situation I've outlined. Would be welcome.

hilliard.matthew's picture

Beautiful article... I have been trying to understand this phenomenon you call " the last 5%" concept myself recently. I have to really want it to push through the last 5%. Sometimes it feels like I did 95% of the effort just to see if I could close if I really wanted to. I probably shouldn't make the effort if I'm not really that interested, and yet it has helped me learn the ropes better than anything else could.

But when there is a vixen that I honestly desire, that's when I act with pure intent. Then the concern is that I might try too hard because I really want it. The intent has to be there, but at the same time the High Value/Low Effort vibe must remain intact. My success rate with high quality women is where I am trying to improve.

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