Elegance, Sexiness, and Average, Normal People | Girls Chase

Elegance, Sexiness, and Average, Normal People

elegance & sexinessI was sitting in a cafeteria having a quick bite to eat the other day when I saw an elegantly dressed young woman in a long but casual summer dress stroll in at the far side of the cafeteria, turn about slowly and elegantly as she assessed her surroundings – perhaps looking for someone, or perhaps just deciding if there was anywhere here she wanted something to eat from – before at last turning and walking back out the door she’d come through again, still with great elegance.

I’ve been thinking about elegance lately, and its cousin, sexiness. It occurs to me that taken together, these two qualities can largely describe every attractive person out there: he or she is either elegant, or sexy, or some mix of both.

It also occurs to me that almost no one out there really is all that elegant or sexy at all... neither the men nor the women, and it doesn’t matter where in the world you go to or what country you visit.

There are lessons here, for what you look for in a mate, what you allow yourself to feel entitled to enjoy, and how you construct yourself, and I think they’re all worth peeling back.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Anonymous's picture

Additionally to this your article...
I liked this one
http://raymmar.com/7-reasons-youll-never-do-anything-amazing-life/
which in huge part summarizes why someone is exceptional even when having to attend toilet on regular basis, and why someone is just an average Joe Schmoe even when he gets A in every college discipline.

Anonymous's picture

Chase, hope you're good man :)
Hi Dave,
man I've got some guys constantly hitting on me,
making me feel bad about myself, insulting me, tearing me down.
I can't make them back off with remarks cause they've got an
answer ready anytime.
My 2 problems :
1. I am not much of a talker so ANWERING THEM is something I find HARD.
2. I have tried to ignore them but they tend to think that I am doing so
because I'm so AFFECTED.
My question : Should I keep ignoring them? cause that's actually the only
thing I can do provided I REALLY cant answer back.
Help me out man, please.
Remember, anything related to me TALKING to them (insulting or not) , it not
going to work cause its not my thing.

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

Sometimes it best in this scenario to put as much distance between you and them. Surround yourself with other people, and don't do things that will get you called out. Above all though, just continue to be happy for yourself. If you weren't afraid of confrontation, I would ask them what the problem was. Sometimes bullies will call people out because of their own insecurities. You're going to have to learn to stand up for yourself one day though. You can't let people harass you and bully you. I would also recommend telling someone you trust too, see if you get help. People can only help you if you tell them about the problem. For now I would recommend learning how to become a more assertive person to build confidence in yourself.

Good luck,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

HI Chase and Dave,
I have a question :
How can I give off a DANGEROUS SEXY VIBE??
I find it difficult cause I wear glasses which kinds
take off this DANGEROUS excitement .

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

Here are some helpful article links to help you out for now.

Being Edgy

How to Be Sexy

Sexy Vibe

3 Flavors of Sexy

Take care,

Just Dave

uForia's picture

I now found what made my approaches rather strong but my escalations weak. I position myself elegantly from the start and even talk in a quasi-European accent (Maybe also mixed with my background in living in the West). So I finally found out what made girls actually open from the get-go, yet I now know that I need to work on the sexy factor. I don't know how Asian men like myself can pull this off as it looks awkward and creepy to me compared to how a white man does it (As you described).

And it's this essence that makes me unsure of my escalation attempts and just shrug off the interaction and let the girl go. Looking sexy is something that I am still extremely uncomfortable with and I don't know how I can pull this off. If anybody can give me advice for Asian men that would be great. I know there's that article on asian men and how it doesn't really make a difference, but appearance matters and Asian men look drastically different from white men, face wise. It would be so helpful if you had an Asian man as a writer, but any advice would be welcomed.

David Riley's picture

Hey uForia,

Here's a helpful article link.

Asian Guys

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

The reason why there aren't as many feminine women is clearly because there was tons of money and effort into making it that way by the culture creators.

The feminist movement was key part in destroying relationships between men and women. It has been very successful. It was all done intentionally but of course anything that's said like this is always deemed a "conspiracy theory" but it's actually fact.

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

It seems there has been a drastic increase in very masculine/harder women and increase in softer/weaker men. With women going out trying to act like men, feminine women are dropping off. Men on the other hand are having a very hard time acting like men because the male image is under attack. Feminine women are still out there, but you have to look in the right places. Book stores, gyms, and grocery stores are some safe bets to find them. Also, consider the part of time you are at too. College campuses and hospitals are great for finding younger feminine women.

Feminism has gotten very extreme and active recently with the increase of social media. Recently I saw very militant twitter post from feminist with the #YesAllWomen hast tag after the Elliot Rodgers shootings. Ironically, when women were voicing their opinion men chimed in with the #NotAllMen hast tag. A war them raged between the two parties. What some men failed to see is women didn't have a problem with all men, just some. A good portion of feminine women do in fact love men. They do wish to be with a "real" man though. A man that understand how to properly speak and understand a woman. Women value men who still act like men. Much like how men value women who still act like women.

Just some thoughts,

Just Dave

tayoisrich's picture

It seems sexy is best for street approaches (indirect direct) when you are trying to get women on a primal level and you have little time... while elegance is best in bars, clubs, parties and other scenarios where there is more time...

I hear voices in my head...

David Riley's picture

Hey Tayo,

I would say that's a very accurate and fitting statement. I go for a more elegant look when I'm at work and a sexy look when I'm off the clock. Women eat up both looks and they're fun to play around with.

Take care,

Just Dave

Danny's picture

Hey guys would it be possible for you to get up an article on sexual humour and more stuff for same day lay seductions ?????

David Riley's picture

Hey Danny,

I will let Chase and the other artist know.

Just Dave

G's picture

Been waiting for a similar article for a while BAM!

I really the appreciate ideas towards advanced mindsets. Mastering this concept seems to open opportunities for those ladies carrying a start struck effect on men,

(I'll say it twice... opportunity for those types of females... you know).

Many men are stuck on approach, and lot of material seems geared towards beginners. Once past approach, there's still quite a bit to learn... and fun to be had ; )

David Riley's picture

Well Said G,

There's so much fun you can have in seduction and many different techniques you can play around with. I like you all are very excited for the new articles coming forth.

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,
Ive lately noticed the same thing about the lack of seemingly elegant guys.
But I feel like you need to be masculine in order to pull off the elegant vibe though (Like having a deep voice, or having a beard).
Since I dont have either of these in spades, I feel like being elegant would just come off as delicate or girly…and I feel like girls wouldnt want you to be more delicate and refined than they are.

What are your thoughts?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

If that's the case I would recommend practicing in a mirror to dial back the right amount of elegance you want to convey to the opposite sex. You still be masculine and elegant without the beard. It's about your overall vibe that communicates to women. Women can see through facades a mile away. You have to get your inside to match your outside. It's like the classic statement of clothes don't make the men. You want women to feel your air around you, you'll know when they do. Because they'll be more receptive to you. From there you can do what you'd like.

Take care,

Just Dave

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

If that's the case I would recommend practicing in a mirror to dial back the right amount of elegance you want to convey to the opposite sex. You still be masculine and elegant without the beard. It's about your overall vibe that communicates to women. Women can see through facades a mile away. You have to get your inside to match your outside. It's like the classic statement of clothes don't make the men. You want women to feel your air around you, you'll know when they do. Because they'll be more receptive to you. From there you can do what you'd like.

Take care,

Just Dave

anonim's picture

Chase it used to be such an outstanding website. Now looks like all comments are about shooting links and a smartphone thing... seriously, why are you changing this site from clever intelligent site into a joke?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anonim-

You mean the one link above someone posted to Raymar's site (or maybe the one Social Kenny posted the other day to his own site)? If a link seems sufficiently relevant and the content is good / not spammy, we'll allow it. I browsed both articles myself and both seemed okay. That's been the rule since Day 1 - there are tons of other comments throughout the site that have links in them too.

99% of comments with links in them have been and will continue to be immediately moderated into oblivion (e.g., Kenny regularly posts links to his site and I think that's the only one we've ever approved, or maybe only the second or something like that - this one went up because it actually seemed relevant this time)... while there's no way to ensure that every single comment that goes up is a masterpiece to everyone, since people's tastes tend to differ, we do have a certain minimum acceptability standard we keep the comments to generally, and if something doesn't meet it, it doesn't make it onto the site.

Chase

tayoisrich's picture

Sometimes posting links is better since there is already a detailed article that talks about the issue...

In my own opinion and experience GirlsChase is better than a lot of PUA sites that teach men to act like trained baboonish clowns in front of women... (like those fake cocky and funny routines that I use to read before that only works for American women & not in other countries!)

I hear voices in my head...

Black Mystery's picture

When we are in love with a girl whose value is too high for us, our normal feelings get magnify. Every emotion related to her. Fear, Love, Care etc. And when they get magnify it leads to prompt decisions. These decisions are mostly emotional decisions which hinders rationale decisions. Therefore it's important to have girls value normal or below that. Girls value is high mostly because of:
1) She's exquisitely beautiful.
2) She's hard to get.
3) Men lacks substitute in their lives. Absence of these 3 would surely bring down value of girl from high to low.

Black Mystery

Next Best Thing's picture

Hello Chase&Dave,
Quick question: Should I hide my soft/goofy side from women? If so, till when? After a month of dating?....Two? Most of the time I'm like James bond, but sometimes I jus wanna be my softer/goofy side, gets exhausting bein Bond all day. I have no problems meeting women, my problem is that once I get comfortable w them i tend to loosen up a bit n become emotional (goofy, jealous, insecure, lovey dovey, etc) and I'm not sure if they like it haha If I hide it completely then I feel like I've tricked them n they're not meeting the "real" me! What should I do?

David Riley's picture

Hey Next,

You want to gradually pull out your "soft/goofy" side in layers. You have to ease a girl into it, otherwise like you mentioned she may not like it. When you first start talking to a girl up until you sleep with her, you gotta play it cool. However, once you've become intimate with a girl you start peeling back those layers. You want her to do the peeling though. Women love surprises and discovering things for themselves, you don't want to rob her of the opportunity. Women can tell when you're not being real with them and it turns them off. You can still be "soft/goofy" in a sexual way. You can still it into potentially being cocky and sweet, it's something you have to play around with. The main thing though is to ease a girl into it.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Chase has been saying a lot how women choose lower value men because they want a man who will give all his love to her. If a woman actively chooses a nice guy or an outcast over a high value guy, doesn't this contradict everything you're teaching? Why be the hard to get guy whom she's "more attracted to" but doesn't love and doesn't choose over a nice guy?

What I've noticed is that confident/more dominant neurotic women always end up with somewhat of an outcast type of guy. He's either some big brute who she walks around with and treats like her guard dog or some small, nice guy who other "alpha" guys are laughing at. It's really strange but it seems like these women aren't completely stable themselves. They seem to have too much of something whether it be crazy, attitude, insecurity or whatnot.

On the flipside, more normal, submissive type women choose normal high value guys who are usually very emotionally stable, under control, manly, successful, well respected, popular, and the list goes on.

I wonder if rebellious, neurotic type women seek guys who are really strange (by society's standards) because it makes them feel different--like they are above society and cooler than everyone else. While the typical dating guru will say "oh, women like those big brutes because they are confident bad boys," you can't use that excuse anymore for these small, wimpy guys who other guys are just laughing at. These guys aren't dominant, and while you could argue that they are charming or "secure," I really think those arguments are copouts. These guys are not dominant, sexual and act like the immature little boy who starts squealing when he's laughing because he can't control himself. Sure, these guys are obviously more intelligent than the average person, but surely you would agree that this isn't enough to attract a woman... how can a woman submit to a man who really just isn't manly like these guys? Why wouldn't a woman who wants a nice, intelligent/classy guy pick a guy who is those things but is also a manly, sexy guy with sexy confidence? Why are they choosing the guy whom the high-value women don't really want and whom guys don't value for whatever reason? I'm guessing the women who choose kind of these outliers probably aren't a walk in the park themselves, so maybe crazy attracts crazy?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

It's part of evolution, women seek strong mates. However when they can't find their desired mate they settle. Keep in mind when women get older they tend to settle for weaker men because they weren't able to tie down that alpha. They don't want to be alone or they settle for the guy who will give them everything they could ever want. However, the woman is truly never satisfied because the weaker man is more invest than she is. She eventually gets tired of sleeping with the weaker man and may even cheat on him. She begins to lose respect for the weaker man as he begins to chase her and beg her to stay with him. She becomes so disgusted with him that she either leaves or resents him and cheats on him. The women settled for the best she could get.

Here's the thing she chose stability of the nice guy rather than unpredictability of the bad boy. She got tired of chasing after the bad boy once she knew she couldn't tame him. Chase encourages us to not chase women and own our balls, so we don't end up getting taken advantage of. He's trying to provide us with the proper mindset to keep guys from getting "played" or constantly rejected by women. Women respect you way more when you don't try to put them on a pedestal. Women respect men who know what women want and understand them. Chase wants guys to become high value men who women go nuts over.

Also to note the older a woman gets and depending what kind of lifestyle she lived, her options start getting lower and lower when it comes to marriage. Women have the upper hand for short term flings, but men have the ability to out last women for options for marriage. Now you do have exceptions to every rule and some women are taking better care of themselves these days. Typically though, some women think their looks will never fade. The same could be said of a man who believes he'll never go bald or get fat. In the end women do want a guy who has the whole package, but there's so much competition for that guy, they normally give up.

Take care,

Just Dave

J Wick's picture

Loving this elegance style. I think it is right up my alley.

Though I do feel like the way I learn is not so much by just doing the movements and steps (which I have been doing) but also understanding the mindset of someone in the moment of elegance.

For instance I was in home depot doing my best to be elegant and I just didn't know what to do with my eyes. My body movements were relaxed and calm, but my eyes darting. So much to look at, yet nothing interesting to see. The most interesting thing are people walking by but then looking at everyone walking by isnt very elegant either! haha

My thoughts on this is just to not worry about where my eyes are for now and soak up the peripheral views, however I imagine there are better ways I have yet to stumble on.

I tend to have an overactive mind, which I am steadily calming down, but at the moment I think its coming out in restlessness in my eyes.

Yes I realize there isn't really of question in here Dave, just want your thoughts on the matter. :)

P.s. would you say elegance is also in doing more with less? For instance, this comment could be much shorter haha

Ankit's picture

Hello..I am a regular reader of your blog. Right now I am on developing stage of sduction. Firstly a very thanks to your hard work (gratitude :). Now come to the point second, can you help the guys out there want to work on them very hardly but have some financial issue to join 0.001% community . What if there is some guys want to get off from the office work? Is there professions (specify) that can help you get income while travelling from country to country.? I don't wanna be a guy who spend his hard working money on travelling alone. Isn't there profession, that get you paid for travelling(or while travelling) from country to country? Help these guys out there by your valuable knowledge from experiance. Thank you :)

David Riley's picture

Hey Ankit,

I will see what Chase has to say about and make this a possible article.

Just Dave

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