Spell Broken: Big Mistakes That Shred Conversation | Girls Chase

Spell Broken: Big Mistakes That Shred Conversation

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

spell brokenThink for a moment of a time you were talking to a pretty girl you'd just met. You started hitting it off -- things were going great. You took the conversation deeper and deeper -- getting to know her more and more. It felt like the two of you were bonding at this incredibly close level, and it kept getting closer. There was more and more magic... more and more chemistry... crazy amounts of electricity sparking in the air...

... then, suddenly, the spell was broken. It was like the two of you came up for air, then realized that you'd emerged back up at the surface and couldn't get back down to where you were before.

It was as if you'd awakened from a dream.

Then, try as you might, you couldn't get back into that dream again... and both of you knew it. The interaction with this girl -- this girl you'd been bonding and connecting with so deeply mere minutes before -- ended soon after.

It became too awkward to continue once it'd returned to that surface level of shallow conversation and superficiality, and she uncomfortably excused herself, telling you she had to go find her friends or that it was time for her to head home.

But you were close -- you knew you were. There was so much intensity between the two of you, until it just... evaporated.

Comments

Tomas's picture

Just have a question. Some women do exactly one or more of those. They don't keep things light and/or stuck at topics and/or hold on to opposite opinions provoking debates and/or criticize... it might be even done unconsciously.
Sometimes she breaks the spell almost systematically and you cannot do anything. Those women may be attracted at first, but they literally undermine their own attraction to you. And I mean, not by your fault.

How should such situations be handled? If you persist, she loses all attraction. If you address the elephant in the room, she will be offended and sent into auto-rejection. In both cases, she will blame you for the result, not herself. Another option is just to disqualify her and run... Or is a better way?

Anonymous's picture

I have ran into similar situations and it's best to lighten the mood and divert the subject before the conversation starts sinking. If things go downhill, I'd comment on something random or ask a humorous question like "have you heard so & so in the NHL got traded for a bag of pucks?" (joking). Slipping in a sincere compliment might also work. IMO anything that kicks or gives the oppurtunity to tune into a different subject is better than nothing at all.

David's picture

Hi,
I'd like to post a comment on this aricle. Spell Breaking is really maddening and I lost the sharpest women exactly this way. And having read some of Chase's articles, I just realized why this happens.
It all boils down to deep emotional trough. You meet a gorgeous woman and get into a conversation. It goes great, you are a sexy man and she is very attracted to you as you are talking together. Within half an hour, she wants you badly. You may want her as well, however, you enjoy the maximum from the conversation at the moment. But remember, deep diving is rarely about sexual stuff, while she craves more of you as a sexual man.
And this causes the break. She likes the deep conversation and goes with that emotion, but at the same time she feels that it's only moving you away sexually from her (i.e your attainability goes down). This is a conflict of expectations and she starts to feel like you don't want her or you're too slow. Finally, the tension breaks inside of her and the conversation is spell-broken. She wanted sex with you, but autorejects you instead.
One more thing - losing a woman this way belongs to the most painful cases I know.

David

darieush's picture

I agree with this. I feel like by not escalating in a sexual direction we are falling into a trap.

jaap hermans's picture

Ive had this happen to me so often over the years its not funny.

having playful into deep conversation, often making out with the girls aswell. and then it just stops. going deeper doesnt help, it seems like it is all lost. often I keep trying to pull but it just doesnt work anymore. Too soon, too deep.
I've always thought it was something I did but couldnt put my finger on it. I assumed my value wasnt high enough, and I had to up my value for girls to be more attracted to come home with me.
This article really hits home for me. probably I should mix in more humor and switch topics or something.

Though eventually it comes down to me giving her too much attention, too much deep diving, it seems as though I am too invested in her. Which is probably driven by neediness/lack of abundance with women.

j h's picture

One time I actually had the reverse happen to me.
There was a girl i'd met at a party.
We had exchanged numbers and she came to my house a couple of days later.
We were supposed to have a drink, but ended up sleeping together within 5 minutes of her arriving.
After sex I didnt really have much to talk to her about, I really hadnt done a lot of deep diving or anything of the sort.
I didnt want to be rude so I just let her stay for a bit. And while she was there I figured I'd have a conversation with her, but I didnt know much about her so I just asked some questions. After a while she was asking me a lot of questions aswell. She was basically deep-diving me. It felt kind of unnecessary and annoying to me, but I didnt want to be impolite as I had just slept with her. Eventually I slept with her again, and she stayed over.
The next day I faked having an appointment early and she left.

Afterwards I didnt want to see her again, the diving had felt a little too deep for my liking. like why did she ask me so many questions, why did she want to get so personal so fast.
I dont know why but I dont want to see her again. the sex wasnt bad or anything.

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