What to Do When a Girl Doesn't Text Back


girl doesn't text backA reader writes in:

I found something strange. Everytime Im having long interactions with girls in pickups on the streets, I bomb. I mean, she dont text back. It reminds me of Murphies law: If everything cant go wrong, IT WILL. I recently approached 10 women of which gave me attraction signals. They touched me, called me cute, called me the most interesting person, smiled, was high energy, stayd 20 minutes with me, and asked me to text them. I had good interactions with them and was smoothe and confident. I bonded wtih them and made plans to see them. They never texted back and I dont nkwo why.

I did another experiment where I cutted my interaction short about 3 minutes and asked for the number. Most of the shorter ones agreed on dates and texted back, and note, most of them gave me negative signs first. Is it because women use guys that they give fake "attraction signals?" Why do they seem so much into me at first but never bother to actually get into contact again? It happens over and over so much that when a girl give me signals thats too good to be true,I can almost predict that I will never hear from her again and Im alwasy right. I know it sounds counter-intuitive but I think the women who give you immediate signals are maybe time waster"? And what is your thoughts, do you find the same?

Brings back memories.

When I stepped up my activity levels in 2006, I noticed an odd trend: the women I spoke to for longer periods of time, and seemed more into me, ended up being less likely to ever return my phone calls or texts.

How bizarre, I thought to myself. This certainly doesn't make much sense.

But the numbers didn't lie. So, I did the only logical thing I could think to do: I worked to shorten the time I'd spend with girls whose phone number I intended to grab, and only spend a longer time with girls I intended to take home that day or night.

Almost overnight, the problem of girls not texting back and girls not calling back all but disappeared. But it still left me scratching my head a bit... why did spending more time with a girl and having her come to like you more lead to her falling off the face of the Earth and not returning text and calls later?

 

Things That Lead to Unreturned Texts and Calls

Think of a girl you met that you really liked, that you maybe spent 30 or 40 minutes talking to the first time you met her. She was charming, beautiful, exactly your type.

Got her in your head?

Good. Now, if you can, remember how you felt the first time you called her or texted her. Felt pretty darn nervous, didn't you? Heck, maybe you didn't even text or call her at all. Hopefully that wasn't the case, but there are plenty of guys out there that's happened to... it happened to me, too. In fact, I was this close to never calling the girl who went on to become my girlfriend for 2 1/2 years; it was just too nerve-wracking to dial her number on the phone. I almost didn't talk to her again after the night I met her.

Guess what? Yep -- that happens to girls, too.

It isn't always the reason, and in fact it's only one of four main reasons we're going to take a look at that can cause a girl to not reply to your text messages or phone calls. But girls being nervous and putting pressure on themselves is one of the Big 4 Reasons why they don't respond.

It's probably the most surprising reason for a lot of guys, so that's why I chose to lead off with it. But there are three other reasons, too. The four reasons women might not reply to you are:

  1. Too much anticipation / nervousness: if a girl really likes you, she might be too shy to reply to your correspondence. She might end up putting a great deal of pressure on herself to do well with you -- or be too jittery to type out a reply or answer your call. She may really, really want to talk to you, but never end up doing so.
  1. Too much of a state-shift: this one's a little tougher to get your mind around at first, but if say you met a girl and both of you were really excited and high energy, and you call her back later or text her when she's feeling much lower energy than when you meet her, she's likely to look at that ringing phone or blinking text message and think to herself, "I can't talk to him right now; it's too much work."
  1. A bad ending: "The end is important in all things." So goes one of my favorite quotes from the Hagakure. Even if you had a dynamite opener and the majority of the interaction went swimmingly, if the ending goes awkward or stale, the chances you never hear from a girl again go up dramatically.
  1. She wasn't all that interested: this happens sometimes to everyone. Resist the temptation to attribute every non-responder to a girl not really being interested, as most guys do -- it's quite often one of the other three reasons that's too blame. But sometimes it's really is just that she wasn't as interested as she'd seemed. It happens.
girl doesn't text back

Of these four reasons, #3 and #4 are the most easily correctable.

#3 -- bad endings -- gets fixed when you get your closing streamlined. Check out the post on getting a girl's phone number and get more practice going for closes and you'll begin to self-correct and get smoother and more natural with time.

#4 -- getting contact info from girls who actually aren't all that interested -- gets fixed as you become more attuned to the signals women are giving you. You become more aware of how to tell a girl is interested in you, and you plainly and simply stop taking contact info from girls you know aren't all that interested.

#1 -- girls being nervous to respond because they really like you -- is tougher to change. You have to do a lot to minimize nervousness and maximize comfort while you're there in-person with a girl, and you've got to make sure that the text messages you send afterward or voicemails you leave are exceedingly warm and friendly. She needs to feel comfortable responding to you, above all.

#2 -- girls experiencing a state-shift between how they felt when they first met you and how they feel when you call or text -- is the hardest to change. It entails actually changing the way you interact with women when first meeting them so that when they receive your text or call later, in a calmer, lower energy state, they'll be a lot more likley to respond.

That can mean you need to completely overhaul you interactions with women, especially if you're an energetic, high energy guy.

Fortunately, there's a shortcut around all of these learning curves, however; and that shortcut is...

 

Spend Less Time with Women and Get Them Responding More

Sounds counterintuitive, I know, but bear with me on this one.

Spending less time with a woman before you go for her contact information does something very special for you. It allows you to screen out the women who aren't all that into you, while simultaneous eliminating the bad things -- girls getting so into you they're too afraid to talk to you later, girls getting used to talking to you in a too-different energy level from their usual energy level, and bad endings to your interactions with girls.

Said differently, it's about as close to a cure-all to the problem of a girl not texting back or a girl not calling back or answering as you can get.

The women who seem very interested in you on first meeting you aren't time-wasters, and they're not being insincere. They really may enjoy the long conversation they have with you -- or maybe they're trying to be polite and sociable with someone who's taken the time to come up and get to know them. But, it's vitally important to note the difference between reactions and results. The two are different thing altogether, and reactions can oftentimes be misleading.

A girl's smiling and laughing and chatting with you are mostly reactions. Her moving somewhere with you, or giving you her number readily when you ask for it fast -- those are a few examples of results. Results are what you ultimately need, regardless how promising (or not) your reactions may be.

When you ask for the number fast, you get a real result. The girls who like you will happily give theirs; the ones who aren't so inclined will hesitate, or refuse outright.

Very fast way of sifting the wheat from the chaff.

 

When a Girl Doesn't Text Back

But, let's say regardless how your interaction went when you met the girl the first time, you ended up with her number, but now you've called or texted her and she hasn't replied. What do to?

When a girl doesn't text back or when a girl doesn't call back, the first thing you want to do is not panic. It's not the end of the world, and it doesn't mean you've lost her for good.

It just means she hasn't gotten back to you yet.

I once had an interaction with a girl where I texted her the night I met her and got no reply.

Then I called her a day later, and got no answer. I shot her a text in lieu of leaving a voicemail, and she texted back apologizing for not answer but saying she hadn't realized it was me.

A few days later, I tried calling her again. Again, no answer. I texted her again, and again she texted back later.

One week after first meeting her, I called her. Again, no answer. I left a voicemail. She called me back, complained that she had nothing to do that night, and I invited her over to have dinner and drinks with me in my apartment, and a few hours after she came over, I took her as my lover.

Persistence. It's the difference between the men who want it -- and get it -- and the men who don't. I had a guy I was mentoring who'd have women disappear and act completely disinterested, but he'd just persist relentlessly and eventually women would reappear, agree to meet up with him, and he'd finally take some of them to bed.

Persistence via text or phone can work wonders... BUT, it's quite important that you persist in a cool, laid-back, socially savvy way, because there are all kinds of wrong ways to persist, and men for some reason are particularly good at finding them. Don't fall into the traps that most men do of getting needy, whiney, compalin-y, or pissed off at women for not replying; that guarantees you don't get a reply!

Instead, here are some things to keep in mind so that you're persisting in an intelligent, attractive way that'll make a girl far more likely to want to start talking to you again:

  • Don't get mad or accusatory. Yes, it may seem rude that she hasn't replied, but... you're a stranger! She doesn't know you from Jack yet, and doesn't realize what an awesome guy you are. Getting mad is 100% guaranteed to scare her off, so refrain from anything like, "I don't understand why you're being so standoffish."
  • Don't get whiney. Just as bad as mad is sad: whiney, complian-y men are a huge turn off to every woman on the planet. "I just want to talk to you -- I'm not trying to be too pushy, but blah blah blah." No. It isn't appealing to you to get something like that from a woman, and it isn't appealing to a woman to get something like that from a man.
  • DO be nonchalant. "Hey Karen, figured I'd drop you a line since we haven't connected in a few weeks. Just got back from the East Coast and starting to delve back into work again... ugh. Hope life's been treating you excellent... let me know what's new with you! - Chase" Treat the situation as if no one is to blame and the two of you are just reconnecting after a little time being busy with your own things. If you have some hurt feelings, stifle them; phone calls and text messages are not the places to be airing grievances or bandying about bad emotions. You want to be a breath of fresh air; a provider of good feelings and peace. That's the kind of thing that will make a woman want to pick up the phone and start talking to you, because she probably doesn't get it anywhere else in her life.
  • DO refrain from being overly entertaining. "Just saw the most amazing movie today!" "OMG, think my head is going to explode, you'll never believe what just happened to me...!!!" Anything like that is no good. That kind of stuff is okay -- maybe -- three or four texts into a conversation you're already having with a girl. But texting that to open a text conversation cold -- as your text opener -- drips of tryhard reaction-seeking. Worse, in my experience, it rarely works, and when it does it gets you attention from girls who are curious -- rather than girls who are interested. Stick to normal stuff and you'll be fine.

girl doesn't text back

Finally, don't be afraid to give a girl a little time off if she doesn't reply for a while. My rule of thumb is something like this:

  • She doesn't reply once: give her a day of radio silence.
  • She doesn't reply twice in a row: give her 2 - 3 days of radio silence.
  • She doesn't reply three times in a row: give her a week of radio silence.

Then, if she's still not replying, you may want to try something more bold and experimental, depending on the situation. There's no one-shot, surefire way to reengage a girl who isn't responding; it's going to vary enormously depending on why she isn't responding in the first place.

If she's too shy, a nice, warm voicemail might do the trick, or toning down your texting if you're coming across to entertaining or too "loud."

On the other hand, if it feels like too much of a state-shift for her, sharing some more normal details of your life and asking her about hers via text may turn out to be just what the doctor ordered for helping her to see you as more "human" and less a dynamo.

It isn't always possible to turn things around when a girl doesn't text back... but sometimes it is.

And, if you do things right, and you keep the time you spend with a girl you're going to grab a number from to under 5 to 10 minutes, you might just find you substantially increase your phone number conversion rate... strange as that may seem!

Always,
Chase Amante

Related Articles from GirlsChase.com

Comments

Chris's picture

Man, i'm 22, and no girl ever looks my way...


Unless i'm only designated as the "friend". I seldom ever get viewed as the potential lover. I've had such crappy luck with girls for years now, to the point where i'm sexually frustrated, as well as emotionally. But rescently i've changed how I approach girls in general. This past year I have tried a more confident, frivolous personality, but while still keeping my humor and chivalry. I still use the basics like telling a girl she's beuautiful, and of course making them laugh (i'm a really funny guy, which makes me think that can be a problem sometimes because then maybe they'll just see me as the "entertainment" and not someone they would take seriously, contrary to the popular belief that a girl likes a guy with humor.BTW I use witty and savvy humor, not throwing pies in my face.). Anyway, I also let go of my old ways of being needy or moaping around because I can't get any girl to notice me. But damn, I still can't do it. Funny thing is that i've gotten like 3 girls at my college who willingly give me THEIR number, a couple who have told me in my face that they think i'm attractive but they DO NOT F'ng answer after a couple of texts! I HATE THAT. But I don't show it! I make myself off as the cool guy who doesn't care. Still though, it takes a toll on me given that i'm a virgin, never had a girlfriend and am surrounded by tons of couples, beautiful girls who have boyfriends, and an obsession with sex and porn because I have no other way of satisfying my masculine needs for a woman's embrace. (Don't get me wrong, I don't come off as creepy, i'm very discreet and private about my obsessions.) I don't buy that BS that girls can just "sense" when a guy has problems, I just am way too nice and charming on the surface. But what sucks more than anything, and that I just CANNOT do anything about is the whole "some guy already beat me to it" situation, i.e. they ALL HAVE BOYFRIENDS OR A KID! Seriously, my case is severe. I don't think even you can help me, oh love guru. But give it a shot if you can. If not...then i'll either kill myself or try a dating site. The former is something i've wanted to try for so long....
P.S. That last sentence does NOT define me whatsoever, it's just that i'm really, really frustrated....my physical body has just not gotten...anything.

Champion's picture

Your problems are what you make them to be


Chris I'm going to use few minutes of my time to respond here, I don't usually do it but since I stumbled on your "miserable" post, I'll give it a shot.

There are few things I sense that you are unaware of despite what you've written.. here are some of them;

- Stop worrying about getting women SO MUCH. You sound like women are the key to your happiness. There's a reason you are born. You are a champion!

- You care too much about what others think about you, which you have made an "identity/self-image" of - in a negative sense. I.e. "You are a funny guy but you are afraid to come off as the entertainer". What does that matter? It's great you can be fun and have women laugh but you also need to be sexy (read the how to be sexy post by Chase). REMEMBER YOU ARE WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE! The only way you can change your view on yourself is to experience new things. Which means, stepping out of your little safe comfort zone.
Just things that doesn't make sense. Things you may have thought of but doesn't make sense at all. You just never do it. I promise you, when you do, your reality changes.

- Stop using time on people who doesn't fit into what you want. Decide what you want and head towards it. There's a reason you don't have what you want. I'm gonna be bold here

YOU JUST DON'T WANT IT BAD ENOUGH!

You have to want success as much as you want to breathe.

Okay.. there are a lot of things to comprehend here but take your time to take one step at a time..!

Good luck and tell yourself "it's okay". "Everything is as it should be". Don't let the negative draining feelings get to you like, jealousy, hate, resentment, apathy...

- Champ

Anonymous's picture

Spite really isn't attractive


If you think that the basic ability of people to read emotions doesn't apply to you and that it is bullshit than what do we have to say? If you are bitter, people will notice. You can count on it. Your whole post, even the positive parts, are absolutely drenched in spite. I highly doubt you're such a master of disguise to hide it all.... If you wanna call that BS, be my guest and nothing will change. Stop being so bitter and work on focussing on yourself instead of 'what you want to portray and how you want to attract women'. That really isn't an attractive view on life.

Katie's picture

Hey Chris:0) Smile and don`t


Hey Chris:0)
Smile and don`t be grumpy:0)I lost my virginity when I was 23 ,never even kissed before etc...not a big deal ,don`t stress out.
I actually made a silly mistake because I got drunk and we danced ...you know ,being close and warm .....wow! you see I have just found a SOLUTION for you ))))) YOU HAVE TO DANCE WITH YOUR GIRL ....be creative ,invent something ,a party or celebration SHE CANNOT MISS ,ask her to dance -DONE !!! She is yours!!...well I would be hahahaaa)))

My husband now is not letting me dance with anyone -he is scared knowing ``how it all works ``on me as he used it himself )))
And if you are a cool ,funny guy be sure girls LOVE IT -I`m one of them so trust me (well maybe not exactly a girl anymore hehehee !)

Be honest ,be YOURSELF ,and remember she is NOTHING better than YOU !!!
If you make a PRINCESS of her in your head -she will feel it ,she will feel the pressure of keeping up with this picture you have in your mind ...and she will not be acting naturally ,it will make her stressed if she cares about you...make it fun ,make it smooth,make it NATURAL.....don`t try to act funny if you are not in a mood for jokes - be yourself:0);0)

One more thing - go to the website ``Powerful Intentions`` ...Aha! never heard about it ? You will see how people can MANIPULATE brains and feelings in order to make someone loving you....It is very powerful so be sure you want to use it and build a relationship not just a one off because you girl possibly will fall head over heals in love with you -strong stuff.... is slow ,I believe ,but I KNOW it works !!! Go there ,read some Remote Seduction ,top up with what you get from Chase -and done !She is YOURS !!!
Yeeaahhh !!! GO and DO IT now !!! You can!
xxxxxxx

Danny's picture

Chase, So i have been talking


Chase,

So i have been talking to this girl for about three weeks now none stop. All of a sudden she slowed down on texts and eventually just stopped talking to me at all. I sent her a simple text asking if i had done anything wrong. she replied saying " no you didn't everything has been overwhelming lately". I simply said "Okay i will let you have your space, and told her that i had begun feelings for her and didn't wanna mess anything up". Her response was "You dooooo?" i said yes and have no heard from her since, any ideas on what to do?

MichaelRecycle's picture

Nice article. It's great to


Nice article.

It's great to see an article on this. Some women don't have phone credit to text..

Here is my secret that works almost 100% of the time. Never send a text with expectation of a reply.. Simply this works like a charm.. Hey Kate!!! Awesome meeting you. :)

That's it. There was no question to her like how are you... Blah blah blah crap :) women Love wondering wow why did he do that and go quite.. After I send this one text THAT I THE LAST TEXT I SEND... If she wants to meet.. She knows who to call... No not ghost busters

Mick

Patrick's picture

Somewhat sad and confused...


Hey Chase!

I have a question for you. I read your article above and it sounds like mostly everything I've done with this awesome girl I started dating not too long ago. Here's the thing: We both go to the same college together and we met, not intentionally, through a classmate of mine who happen to be in her class as well. We talked a whole bunch when we met each other for the first time. I found her on facebook afterwards and we talked real casual for quite some time. (This started last year around September or October) Now, we've gotten to the point of dating each other. She was with someone at the time we first talked and met. Our first date was something fun and loose; we bowling and we played two games. It went great; something for us to know more about each other. The second date was the following Sunday. It wasn't really planned either and I has asked her if she would like to come have some dinner with me and my family after I got out of church. It wasn't really for her to meet my family. Just for us to hang out again and get to know each other more. It went great as well. She seemed calm and conversational with my family. Now the third date came, and this one was the best one. The whole date lasted 6 hours. We watched a movie and came back to my house to play some Mortal kombat. I was making her laugh, she was playfully/flirtfully hitting me, we were real close on the couch, etc. But here's where I think I messed up. When her mom called her and told her to come home, we left 30 minutes later. I walked her to her car and we stayed out there for about 20 minutes talking. I think this is where you talked about the "ending parts". Everything that night was spot on and I think she was really into me from all the signs I saw. Basically, I left her without a kiss and it seemed she was "fiddling"; wanting me to kiss her. It's been almost two weeks since we haven't had another date. She's been talking to me still, but I just can't seem get another date going. Should I give her space? In my head I'm wondering, I need to get a date quick before I lose her and she loses interest in me.

Bravo's picture

Why did she not get back to me ?


I knew this girl for some few times. I kinna liked her and she liked me. I asked her to go out and she said yes with great excitment. I had the best date in my life with her. She was so much into me, she kissed me on the lips for long and was very romantic. Once I returned home she texted me back and tried to check on me in a nice way. I responded back with thanks. Next day I texted her and she texted me back. (So far every thing was amazing!)
After two more days: I texted her while I was at work, she did not reply to me. I waited two more days and went to her work place (She works close to me) to check on her. I found her no longer working there !!!! ... I was shocked
I called her right away and she did not answer my call and I left her a long message indicating that I am here to support her and be with her. The people at work she quit by herself.
I waited for a whole next week and tried my last time of texting her and she has not responded back to me either yet. Some people at work told me she has not responded to anyones' calls or text since then.

Whatta hell is going on with her? Is she dead or what? she was very much into me and out of a sudden she disappeared.

Is there anything I can last time try after all this. Cuz I did like her? How about trying to go to her house ? ... Hey I am not a stalker and I know what stalking is but I wanted to know why is she ignoring me.

Tyler's picture

I have no idea what to do


Sooo this girl I went to High school with messaged me on Facebook randomly and told me I was the only reason she came to my work, she was a little tipsy. I told her that I was gonna be there all summer so she could stop by and see me whenever she wanted. Well we messaged back and forth on facebook and she gave me her number and told me to text her. So I did and she texted me very often at first, she would even tell me good night? Anyways we met up for my birthday and drank alot but she passed out before I could seal the deal. Then I went to work the next mornin and she kinda texted me and then she stopped one weekend. I gave her some time then texted her how she was doing and I guess she got kicked out of her house. So I understood that her stress was at maximum so I told her if she needed anything to call/text me and I would help her out and she thanked me. Well I texted her good mornin the next day.. no response so I waited about two days. Still no response so I chilled with my brother and his girl and took some pictures of just me n her on Facebook. The next day the girl I was tryin to get with sent me a message apologizing about how long it had been since we had talked and I said its whatever. So she seems interested in me again and I asked her out on a date and after I waited about 3 hours for a response she sent me a text saying yeah :). I then asked her some questions and she responded to a couple and then didn't answer one so I waited two days and sent a text saying good morning, no response. Next day basically sent the same message, no response so I sent her a text at about 1 p.m askin if she was still down to chill. She responded saying yes and she apologized cause she was asleep. Well long story short I asked her when she wanted me to pick her up and she stood me up at about 10 p.m She sent me this message " I hate to be a complete bitch but can we do a raincheck :/ ? " So i just responded sure keep me posted kinda annoyed. She rescheduled the next day after I got off work. She almost did the same thing again the next day, it was about 6 p.m when I called her and asked her if she was down to chill still, and she responded yeah, etc.. we met up had a great evening. Made out, she said she enjoyed getting out of the house and that she doesn't just put make up on and do her hair for just anybody. Told me I smelled nice, and I was warm. We went to the beach and it was kinda cold. Great evening. She told me at the end that she would text me as soon as she got home however she texted me to stop speeding and that's the last I've heard from her. That was 3 days ago and I texted her today only and no response. I apologize for how long it is but that's the whole story haha. Idk what to do and thanks for your time. ~ Ty

Gary's picture

I don't think she's interested


Hi, just need some advice on the situation I'm in.

There's this girl who I really like. We work in a retail store. She is very, very friendly and we always chat for a bit when we see each other. Eventually, I decided to ask for her number.

Now I think I flunked my chance. She kindly says good-bye to me as she leaves work. I approach her and say good-bye. Then as I get number, I asked what would she prefer, a call or a text. At first, she said whatever is fine, then she said text. I texted her later in the day, asking how was her day, then I try to start a conversation, like where she's from. In response, all she texted me was that her day was fine and how was mine. She didn't answer my other question. It seemed like she's uninterested. I texted her again a while later and she didn't know who it was.

There MIGHT be a little hope left in this situation, but I doubt it. I really don't think she is interested at all. I will wait and see what happens when I see her, but I really, really doubt this will go any further as I had hoped.

Pot's picture

Need a lil enlightenment


Hey so I found your article I practically read everything..
So I have a question thats bothering me ..

See I've met this girl she is (three years older than me) in my work place .. I asked her to have lunch
Twice .. And we seem to kick it off pretty well .. Also been having all the right signs and also complimented that I sound a lot matured than I looked (I think that's a plus point) sometimes when I text her she replies but sometimes she doesn't ... And one night I was supposed to give her a call to talk about certain things .. And she said "you'll have to wait" but it ended with "I'll talk to you tml Kay good nights " instead .. It's been two days and I have not hear from her ... If I text her or ask her out for dinner am too clingy in any way ? is there any way I could still save this ..? I hope she might not see me as her "lil brother because of the age gap...

jon's picture

should i give up? i am very confused


I made alot of mistakes cause i couldn't read signals properly. 2 years ago i met a girl, she was quite fun to talk to. She would always see me and say hi but after i get her number and chatted with her it was all good until i went to another country for off road cycling i couldnt reply her cause i have not international balance in my phone when i returned back i messaged her tried call her to explain the situation. She never replied or return calls. I thought i lost it so i never dared text her for 2 mths until one day she finally txt me but that was the time i heard she liked someone else but she continued texting me but i never gave prper replies as i thought it was not right to chase. Another guys girl so i one day she came telling her probl but i never gave her the last reply and we never for years... It was only recently i found out she really was into me when i ask my friend to help me out in thevnext situation.

7 mths ago i saw a girl in school that i suddenly have feelings for her but i kind of dismiss it. Than during the holidays i saw her on the train with her mother but she seem to be looking at my direction but i have no clue she was looking and me or someone else. My friend told me she looked familiar so i want home and asked her on facebook. Her answers were very confusing... She say like as though she dont even know it herself than she asked some things about me like my class. She ended it when she gotta go. The way i msg her was to my friends like a gentleman in a ballroom... Which i should not have done... Than things started stranging up, i notice she always turn direction whenever i saw her. Once during the end of sports day, i was waiting for my friends and chatting with when she walk past me but she suddenly turn back to another group, the people keep staring at me. I was abit creeped out. then i caught some of her glance quite often. I left and this was not the first but once during training i ws watching over the cadets in my cca when i saw her at the window pane but she was hiding and her friends was looking at my direction. I am actually a physically fit guy my friends like call me bruce lee in cca and when i hang around with them. Another time during my camp in school i was climbing the stairs when she went toilet when i heatd someone saying "he just went up stairs" i lookef around but i was the only one. Then recently i chatted with her on facebook mobile in school it lasted the whole day she asked whether i was going prize giving day and i did go but i was on a bad mood that day so i was well... Quite rude to her when passed a brochure
i was actually scared so i spoke without thinking everthing changed from then on but everthing changef from then on she always looled away from me when i am returning back to class after aasembly sometime i see ger smiling to thevtree with her friend. She ws a prefect something like a monitor. She never looks at me but othet than that i always having a stare with her then i never met her for awhile cause of exams until last week i chatted with her but she logged off after five mins i sent her the last msg on facebook. Then on i got quite confuse furthrmore she always msg me different than to her friends she hardly put smileys. She talked like how i chatted with her the first time... Like abit gentlemanly? I felt like i could not win... So i become damn confuse that now i feel like giving up. I felt like i left on the lurch she didnt even tell me why she.never replied my last msg its alrdy been a week but somehow sometimes i still catch her eyes for a few seconds.... I feel damn messed up..

Ma'am what am i supposed to do? Should i let go? I cant tell properly. I cant read signals and honestly i am scared... I scared if making the same mistakes twice. Please give me your advice on this situation. Please reply as soon as posible. I have now thoughts of letting and i have suspicion she might like someone and if true i have to let go cause of my morale values...

From: distressed scared and confused guy

Eric's picture

Could you help please?


Well first off, I've been reading your posts for quite some time now. They are all so helpful. So what I need help/ advice on is a out this girl I know who just stopped texting me back. About a month ago I asked her out. She said that we would talk about it later (she had to go). So that being said I assumed that I would text her later. I texted her the following day. No reply. I waited another day or two. No reply. I tried to text her three or four days after i asked her out. Still no reply. Normally she would say "oh, sry I'll text u back as soon as possible cuz I'm kinda busy right now.. Sry." I tried to text her this weekend but still no reply. Should I just be persistent? Should I try again later this week?

Thanks if you read this and give me your input on the situation. :)

Anonymous's picture

Ethnicity?


Love your work chase...

Right, went back to the uni club last Friday and talked to some girls to guest us in (not at uni anymore). Luckily worked on the first group.

So I started talking to the girl who got me in. Wasn't at all interested in chatting her up, as I was with friends and we just wanted to get pissed and dance. But she was so very nice. I mean so polite and so.... well Nice! I wanted to just make her feel happy (she just broke up with someone). Just to show her a good time...

So I offered her drinks for the night for letting me in. Went inside, bought her and her friends drinks. After that I asked her if I could take her out sometime. She smiled and asked, "Seriously?". I said, "yeh, seriously!". So she takes my phone and puts her number and full name in. After that I said, "Well, I'm gonna be with my friends but any time you see me around and you want a drink, let me know. I owe you the night." I smiled and walked away. Later on we met in the smoking area and while passing she said call me, I said I will.

So... Text her in the morning asking her how her night was. Guess what? No reply.....

What do I do? I am obsessed now. She was so nice, so plite, so innocent. Just want to show her a good time my intentions are seriously just that at the moment. Should I call, should I text?...

This one of those times when situations prove to me that no matter how hard I try to be normal, to come across as a nice, polite and chivalrous guy, the social stigmas and stereotypes against my ethnicity will always be a huge problem. My white/black friends know I'm a great guy, but no matter what I do, out there in the girlschase, I will always be the stinky, rude, male chauvinist south asian guy... :(

Any advice, Love guru? If you inherited the most hated ethnicity, would you be so good with women? Should I even try anymore?

Gentlemen, the world is such an unfair place... why does it exist?

Ladies, you are nature's most beautiful creation and all I want to do is treat you with the utter respect that nature's masterpeice deserves...

I digress... quite a bit.

Thank you for reading Chase.

Harry 's picture

after 2nd date


I met this girl through online dating. the think that caught my attention about this girl is her looks and her personality in her profile. Make the story short, i chat with her for a week and got her no and our first date was having lunch together. Our second date we spent our memorial holiday by staying over for a nite in Virginia. We chat a lot and try to get to know each other more while driving back and forth for about 10 hr. After about an hour we reach her apartment and said goodbye, she text me saying that she enjoyed it and hoping i will get home safe. That was Sunday, and i text her on Wednesday and have not got her reply since then. Btw, today is Thursday, and i plan to call her tonight and leave a voicemail if she does not pickit up. Planning to set up 3rd date with her but so far no response. I need advice..should i wait or what is the next step?
Thanks

Anonymous's picture

Help


I met a beautiful girl, we talked, we laughed, kissed, spent our first date together for about 6 hours. She just had broken up with her boyfriend. She asked me for my number at the end of the night and it was over with a kiss.
The next day I didn’t call, however the day after I Text her asking her out and I got a reply saying "I have plans already" Since then then i have texted twice and called twice, did not get a reply.
What should i do.
Also i hate texting and her voice mail is not set up yet.
Thank you in advance

Anonymous's picture

Be A Good Guy But A Bad Boy !!


Every time you are attracted to a women and appraoch them be nice, do not smile much, keep your conversations short, and picture them having sex with you. We all live in an overly saturated sexual society. Most people are in relationships today because of sex. This is why there are so many divorces today. When sex begins to suck.. with your wife or husband you then go online and find someone to have an affair with. I am a nice guy, good-looking from what women tell me and sometimes they think my niceness is a weakness. But my alter-ego is someone who will rock their world sexually and this is my bad boy side. I am multi-dimensional. Women today suck not because of men but because of the decisions they made. Rule of thumb of when you text and/or call and the babe/s do not call back.....once you hang with them don't be shy to hold their hand or stroke their back or place your arm around their waist. If you are nervous doing this they will know. Do it because you know they are the way they are (wacked) and after the first date you may never see them again. People use sex today as a drug to dull their pain. Always remember the biggest sluts would slap the face of someone who called them a slut and porn queens off the set act like they are prudes. I was very fortunate at 44 to have had relationships with 5 women who where nyphomaniacs. Even though I was getting good sex I was empty inside. Love with sex is more valuable than gold. Finding a good women today is worth more than all the coal in China, trying to find her is like looking for her in China.

J.W.'s picture

Hi Chase, I would like to


Hi Chase,

I would like to hear some suggestions here.
I'm digging through your articles and working on them currently. Your work is I found dangerously amazing!!

I have one girl who I managed to exchange cells with is not responding my text after a couple of messages exchages. This girl I met on the street in my college town refused to move with me after I asked to "let's go grab coffee or something". So I texted her that night with the format you suggested. :) They are great. Thank you. AND I got response back saying that she already has a boyfriend and told me
"we can still hang out if you want".
I :"I really don't care. You already sizing me up as a boyfriend. Let's chill because weather is hot"
She : "Haha. What's your major?"
Me : "Take a guess. "
She : "Umm engineering?"
Me: "Too Broad. Don't you think?"

Then No Response. I'm wondering what happened. I was thinking I need to be more confident since she already has a bf.

2) There is this another girl I managed to move after talking on the street. Okay. We sat in the icecream shop and chilled for an hour. I was buidling comfort. (it seems to me I did it right "connecting her" )Then I had sth to do after that so we decided to keep in touch and went our ways. Okay. I texted her once sayinig" nice meeting with you". No response. Hmm, Interesting.

Could you please tell me what you think about this?

Looking forward to hearing from you :)

mike's picture

what to do?????


i am super alone in my life ... i have been three relationships in my entire life. Everytime girl left me. I had no idea after being soo good to eachother, why she left me. When it happend first time. i was thinking like " ohh man that's life do not take it personal". but my recent relation with a girl was soo BAD!.. she was in relation with guy. during her relation with other guy. she started to talk to me and start loving me. When she was badly abused by that guy. she was crying on phone while talking to me. i really helped her and took her from that bad situation. but now she is playing with me. i have no idea how to deal with her. should i do the same, what last guy did or should i leave her without saying anything??

johnny wang's picture

Dude, please help me out!


There's a girl that I never thought I would talk to because our differences. A week ago we just started chatting and hanging out randomly. Everything was going so well and she was pretty interested, but 2 days later she wont return my texts. I tried to set up a date again but she never told me when she's free.
This is when I started to second guess my self. Since she's a urban hipster style artistic girl with a complicated life and I'm a main stream douche bag Asian rich kid, I first thought that it was our differences that stand in our way. This idea troubles me every day, I also asked my self maybe it's because I'm being such a Mr nice guy. I rarely touch weed and never smoked a cigarette unlike her. Now i feel depressed and started to smoke weed.They say "Nice guys finish last", so is it true? Please help me to set up a date with her, because I think she's special to me :(

Thanks,

Anonymous's picture

There's always a reason why people do things


As far as explaining the odd trend you've noticed, I think there's one other factor that I didn't see mentioned in any of the above comments: People, especially women, want what they can't have. And people like attention. So when you've spent a lot of time with girls who really seemed like they were interested but then disappeared on you, it may be that they lost interest because you came across as too "nice" or "boring," meaning they felt like they already had you hooked, and there was no need to try to prove themselves to you. Just getting the attention was enough for them.
And then the ones that you initially showed interest in, but then cut contact short--that can be a real hot button to push if she's even the slightest bit insecure (which it seems almost everyone is these days) Basically thinking "Hey, why did he stop liking me?! What did I do wrong?!" And then she wants to chase you. Basically the same reasons why they say women like guys that are jerks. Hope that makes sense.

Dave's picture

Bartender at strip club gives you her number....


How about this? I am no stranger to the game, and no stranger to PUA moves or girls who you have to game to get.. And I am very comfortable in places like strip clubs or bars doing the exact opposite of what 99% of the guys there are doing, i.e the wrong thing. Ok, so i move to a new town and go to a new strip club to see a friend, he drinks i dont by the bar for an hr. During this time a new bartender comes on and seems to pay me some mind, she introduces herself ect. I leave, but 2 hrs later come back... She says "hey Dave you came back" we continue chatting but im not drinking. I leave again in an hr this time she gives me her num... 2 days later i text and no text back.
I see her again at bar, this time she puts her num into my phone. and is more assertive and friendly, invites me to bar with her after her shift which i decline and then leave. I then send a joking text shortly after leaving, she responds, then responds hey that was you who texted me a week ago but you didnt leave name.... i said i did in 2nd text maybe you missed it... no matter i figured i just had wrong number. And then that is it for the night.
the next day i send a funny text to her about her root canal appointment that day (trust me it was funny and easy to lol at) and no pressure or nothing like that. I get no response.. 3 days later i reach out by phone and leave a message. saying hello, its xyz just reaching out saying happy4th, and all that other fun stuff... i got a funny tale to tell you next time we speak so reach out to me when you get chance... (it was short polite and friendly) again i her nothing back...
So is that odd? As a former student of the game i dont get what i am missing here.

Dave's picture

extra


OH i should add neither night did i ask for her number, she freely gave it and told me to call... on the 2nd night when i said why dont you just call me when your free she told me.. why wont you call me its ok, really.
Note: at that point i am not sure you knew that i was the guy who texted her the week before and she never got back to.. and for the purpose of the forum il share the text, i send a lame joke aimed at the strip club without including my name to which i expect a reply of "who is this" and i received to which i answered Its your favorite new patron with a likely vain attempt humor, this is dave from the other night just reaching out saying hello.
Not my best text game, but now awful. Then the 2nd i seen her is when she took my phone and put her number in it... ect ect.

Sang's picture

Abruptly stopped reply


Hi Chase
Thanks for the article, I sometimes use those method as well. But my situation wasnt mentioned in it so I was wondering if you could help me out.
I know this girl name Kate from prom. But we only started talking since 3 weeks ago. Everything was fine, we even gone to hangout with a group of friends. We all had a great time, then afterward I asked her for another date and she agreed. Bu it was canceled cuz her cousins is visiting, so I invite her to my party this Sunday and she said yes. And on Tuesday she started to ignore me on everything, I tried to call her, text and even Facebook message but no reply. What should I do? Should I keep giving her silense? It already been 4 days already

Kyle's picture

I don't know what to do


Chase thanks for the articles helps a lot. I never have had much trouble with dating or what not but the one girl that I am wanting the most I am left confused by.

First off we went to high school together. I hadn't talked to her in a year or so maybe a little longer just because we go to different colleges and it is hard to communicate like that. But the last 6 months I got her number and texted/called her and no response. I waited a day and received a text message from her saying that she was sorry she missed my call she wasn't around at that time. That is fine. I text her about 2 months later asking her out it was short notice but it was the best I could do with both of us living away from home and she said she would love to but had to take a rain check because she was going on a trip. So last night I texted her asking if that rain check was still good. I got no reply. So I am wondering what should I do next? I don't want to resend the text message but I am afraid if I call her or text her it will just annoy her. I really want this girl, but am starting to get really discouraged. Sure there are TONS more out there but this one just gets me going.

Vaun's picture

Help


Hey Chase, I met this girl and we hav been dateing now for about 2 weeks and sence yesterday she stopped texting me back. O btw we met over ps3 and we liv it different states. I got her number and all and she sent me her pic and she's pretty hot but yesterday morning I sed good morning and she replied then I sed Wut u doin? And she didn't reply. Then later that night I sed goodnight and still no reply. Then this morning I sed good morning and agin no reply. Then at like 4:32 I text her hey and no reply. I always texted on her iPod because there's something wrong with her phone so I checked game center and it sed she was playing her iPod 3 hours ago so she oveously saw my text but didn't reply. So not to long ago I asked her if she was mad at me and she still didnt text back. I need help so if you could reply ASAP that would be great. Thanks.

sunnil's picture

missing a friend whom i used to like


hello ,
i met her four year back , when i was doing my film making course, we became friends , after one month she left the college ,for last one and half year we were chatting on facebook only , we didn't meet , we shared our mobile number also , i started liking her and she told me i can share my feelings with her , i told her and she said no ,, she said she is already dating to someone , i know she was not dating anybody at that time , she was lying ,we were still good friends. we were talking, she knows that i like her ,6 month back she started her own business, most of the time she was busy , we stopped talking like we used to talk before . i used to text her msg and ther was no reply from her side , sometime she got angry at me for this , it has been four mnth she didn't talking to me , i didn't send her any message for two mnth and tried to move on . but i still miss her and send her text message ,but she is not replying . wat shuld i do ? she is angry at me .

Anonymous's picture

Help


So I met up with this girl and we went to the movies. It was her,me, a friend and two other girls. We seemed to hit it off pretty well and I think she likes me. The next day I added her on Facebook and she accepted. Later that day I messaged her a simple hey and she responded simply as well. I then asked her if she would like to come over Saturday because I am having a bonfire. She can't because of cheer camp and I said oh ok well when you're back in town to give me a call and we should go the the movies or something. She hasn't responded and I'm just kinda confused. I'm 16 by the way.

Anonymous's picture

Went on a date


This girl messaged me first on a dating site saying how my profile made her laugh out loud, she seemed generally interested and asked me to hang out. The day we hungout we went to the beach and drank wine everything went quite well I have to say, told stories, shared some laughs. we were going to go for dinner but it was closed so I offered that she comes back to my place and I made sushi and we indulged in more drinks, she later knocked my screen door off as she walked through it and I made an effort to make her feel not too embarrassed. A little while later I walked her to her car and we shared a few kisses. I texted the next day and it took about 5 hours for her to get back to me (she wasn't working or anything) when she did get back to me we texted back and forth for the remainder of the night (this is where I made a mistake I think) I told her I thought she was really awesome and I wanted to get to know her better, she told me she is normally pretty nervous on first dates and wasnt too sure how she felt yet. I then gave her a day off without any texting. The day after that I sent her a friendly little hello asking how her day is going. It's been 24 hours without a response. Anyone have some input? I either scared her by telling her my feelings (although on the date and everything went great I was a complete gentlemen and thought there was a mutual connection) or she's meeting with someone else off the dating site and leaving me on the back burner. I dunno. Any input would be great, thanks!

Stefan's picture

Second text


Hey Chase, quick question.

When I try to set up a date and she doesn't respond, should my follow-up text a day or two later refer to the suggested meet-up or should it be completely casual with no reference at all?

None of them feels right - if I bring it up again I feel pushy and if I don't bring it up it feels like I'm trying to pretend I never suggested it in the first place. Which is better in this case?

Appreciate it!

Anonymous's picture

So there's this girl from my


So there's this girl from my church and she just got hired at my job a couple months ago. I trained her and we've been talking a lot and working with each other when our shifts overlap. Last week, I asked her if she wanted to catch a movie. She said she's not sure and maybe. Then she asked me if I text and I was like definitely in my mind, but I said yeah. So she gave me her number. Then the next day I see her at work, and we don't say hi or anything. The same thing happened for the next couple times. It's now about 5 days after I asked her out and I've texted her a couple times asking her if she's free. She replied the first time saying that she's at school. The next time she doesn't reply. So I'm not sure if she's interested or what. She's the nice type and doesn't trick people or anything, but I'm not sure why she would give me her number if she's not interested.

Anonymous's picture

Women/Females are Hyprocrites


You know, come to think of it. It's rediculous that Females don't call or text you back yet they get upset and angry when you don't.

adrian.lam92's picture

This Girl


Hi Chase,
Long story short, I'm interning in a production firm this summer so I work with good-looking talents more often than not. Recently, I met this korean model who I moved fast with (talked for 5-10 minutes and made sure I was disqualifying myself as a friend zone candidate..."I think you're really cute" etc.) and exchanged numbers. I shot her an initial text a couple hours after meeting her; this is how it went:

Me: happy to run into you today :) - Adrian (1:16 PM)
Her: Hey, hi. Sorry for the late reply. I was at work. Nice to meeting you today :) (7:03 PM)
Her: Are you using whatsapp? (7:03)

At this point, I was ecstatic to see her response. However, not being a fan of long "pointless" text exchanges nowadays, I decided that "Are you using whatsapp?" was too boring of a lead question to pursue and did not reply until two days later. I then shot her a text:

Me: Hi X, sorry I've been busy. Let's find a time to eat! What's your schedule like next week?

It has been two days and I haven't received a text back. I called her for the first time a couple hours ago (around 9 PM Monday night) but no one picked up. Currently, there are a few reasons on my mind as to why this is happening (in no particular order):

A) My attainability went too low by ignoring her text for two days (causing her to go to auto-rejection)
B) Her english wasn't that good when we talked so maybe she's frightened/embarrassed by the thought of sitting through an entire meal speaking a language she is not comfortable with
C) She's not interested (which i find harder to accept - since she gave me her number in such a short time with me being direct with my intentions, and her two texts response to my initial text)

Chase, how do you see and analyze this situation? In relation to the part where you talked about your persistance with this one girl in the article above, can you show some examples of texts you would send to a girl (texts in lieu of a voicemail, and texts after texts in lieu of a voicemail and so forth)? I find it difficult to hit the exact chord of being persistant but in a non-needy way, especially in the situation of texting a girl when she ignores my texts, which can easily give way to a needy vibe.

Needless to say, thanks Chase for this site! it has improved my life in so many ways =)

-Adrian

fnidner's picture

I already bedded her


I have this girl who is the textbook example of not replying to calls and being rejectant over texts - but we already slept together!
The few times I have met her, we've ever kissed or had sex, and she uninvitedly promises more, and has often told me that we are perfect lovers, since neither of us want anything serious. But now I can't make an appointment with her!
I can write practically anything, or ignore her for days or weeks, or call her.. but the only thing I get is a response like "oh hi" or "i dont know".
I'm perplexed!

Sam's picture

Gone cold


So theres this girl ive been seeing on and off for about 6 months. When we met there was an instant attraction we traded numbers and started talking alot we went out a few times. after our first few dates i would take her home and she would talk my ear off about everything then one night i asked her to come over and stay with me. I made dinner and she stayed the night (no sex) after some heavy making out and clothes off all the signs were there so i went for it but was stopped due to "bad timing" so the rest of the night i held her. After that night things started to die off she didnt text me as much any more we only saw each other maybe twice since then. I asked her if i did something wrong she said no that she was just really busy and meeting up with old friends and she sent me a cute picture to make up for it and apologized to me but then it just went back to how it has been. Am i missing something here? advice?

nik's's picture

how to get her safely


hi i had been just dumped by my gf. nw she got a new bf. bt she is still in intrerted to have sex wt me.today morning i called her best friend she tolds she is nt in contact as earlier. m intrested in this girl now . she is having physical relation wt a guy.m texting her but she not responding . she knows me but this was first time i talked wt her. how to get this girl without knowing the girl who dumped me as i have chance there also.

Anonymous12345's picture

So I've been talking to this


So I've been talking to this girl on and off for 2 years. She doesn't really text back too much but she replies to me within days.she has an ex but he isn't good for her. I asked if she could be mine and she said awwe we will have to hangout more. She may have gotten back together with her ex I'm not sure but I'm gonna give her time to reply and text me i wanna know if im doing anyhing wrong pleaae help thanks . I didnt.kmow where tongot

Anonymous's picture

So, here's my question: lets


So, here's my question: lets say you get this girls number and she's always replying to your texts. She even texts you in the morning to start the conversation and you both text all day. You even call each other at times and she's confessed that she's really into you. So lets say you can't come up with anything interesting to say on a dull day and you're extremely busy, do you think it's safe not to reply to one of her texts for a while, and if so how long?

Anonymous's picture

One week text and calls


So basically I met this girl and managed to get her number. We started texting initially and I made a few mistakes by being too whiney on the meeting part and keeping the phone calls too long. Well those mistakes being pointed out we had a week worth of doing that and now she hasnt replied to my text or call so I figured after reading the article that I would leave her alone for a couple of days and pretend like nothing happened and just sort of drop her the nonchalant text that I'd be in the area on the weekend and if she'd like to have coffee or something with me so I can avoid further texting and calling and get to dating her to avoid wasting the time or is there a better way to go about this.If she replies in the negative then I'd most probably take it as she is not into me and keep movin along with the other targets

Thats what I'm thinking after reading the article but if you have some better advice I'd be all ears.

P.S. Aside from the first meeting and phonecalls there has been no other face to face contact so I'm hoping I can turn this into a winner

Anonymous's picture

I think she is too shy


Hey Chase, I have been reading your articles for weeks now, and it really has changed my life.

I'm looking forward to read your comments on what's happening to me, and give me your advice if I should persist on this girl or I can easily go and find somebody else. So, I met her at the campus and after a conversation of 2 minutes we swapped phone numbers. I did not text or call her; I was waiting for her to start which actually happened. She gave me a call 4 days later but when I answered my phone no one was on the other side of the line. About six hours later, she texted me to apologize that her phone called me by mistake while it was in her purse. We then spent hours texting that night

3 days later, I texted her but she didn't reply. After another 3 days I sent her the following: "Hey xxxx, hope the past couple days have been awesome for you! Glad I'm here after a crazy weekend in Vegas. Listen, we should grab an ice cream or something and chill. What's your schedule like this Thursday?"
She immediately agreed but to go out on Friday. Unfortunately, today is the Friday and she is not answering.

I'm really confused, is she interested or not or just she's shy and trying to hide from seeing me. Or maybe she regretted giving me her phone number and the phone call was really by a mistake. But if that were true, why she had agreed to go out. Can you tell where you see this relationship is going? And if I should give it a chance, what should I do?
PS: I've lost a lot of time preparing for that date she didn't come to
Thanx Chase

Spence's picture

How can I get her?


Hey, Chase,

Last year in high school I had some classes with this girl, Jen, and she was just a friend at first but then i got feelings for her but we stayed friends. I dont know if she had feelings for me though but she was always friendly and smiled at me. So over the summer i didnt ever text or call her because i didnt know her number. So this year, i have no classes with her, so i approached her at a football game and said hi and she was really excited to see me and gave me a big hug. So later i asked for her number so we could keep up since i would never be able to talk during school. And i texted her a few times, but her texts were always short and it didnt seem like she was interested in me that much, maybe just a friend. So i told her how i felt about her one day after school and it was super awkward, and she didnt really say anything back she kind of just said "ok, well thanks for telling me. Is that everything you wanted to say?" and i said yes and she left......
So the next day got out that i told her how i felt, and i got shit on by other people. so I texted her back saying that i just wanted to ask her to homecoming but i didnt have anything planned after i told her to meet me after school and that i made up the part that i had feelings for her.... oh and she said (the feelings weren't mutual) the day before. but now it seems like she thinks im weird and so everything is awkward, but i want her to become friends with me again and maybe even more than friends after a while. What should I do?? Im heartbroken and Im still in love with her :(

Anonymous's picture

HeyIve known this girl for


HeyIve known this girl for about a year now...never really interested in her but she's attractive and blah blah...anyway went to a part recently with her and my other friends. We ended up dancing all night and things escalated and we pretty much had some high sexual tension make out / dancing session and she loved it and i fuckin loved it lol. Well now im attracted to this girl and got her number and texted her and no reply on 2 hours. I know its nothing but dude i wanna han out with her NOW! Lol. In my text i simply told her i wanna go out dancing with her again....how long do i wait for an answer back? I see her every friday so i was thinking i'll wait til friday.

Anonymous's picture

So here is my story. I met a


So here is my story.

I met a woman online and we hit it off really quickly emailing, then texting and then phone calls. We decided to meet for a first date. It went really well. Talked for a long time, held hands, walked, and a kiss good night. We continued texting and set up a second date. Again it went really well. Great conversation. Made plans for a third date and got a kiss good night. And again we continued texting. Exchanging photos of our kids (we are both single parents) etc...

Day before date three she had to cancel because of sitter issues, but told me to check back at the end of the week when she would know her schedule better.

Then, on Sunday morning, she sent me photo of her kid playing, and we chatted a bit. Later that night, I asked if she found out her schedule. But she said she hadn't heard from the dad yet, so she didn't know. I told her that if she didn't hear from him to pin something down, we could just spend some time talking instead.

She never responded to my text. I sent another benign text the next day - but no response. Waited three days and send a text just saying hello and wishing her well - but nothing. Its been four days now, and I just sent the text you suggest above.

Thoughts?

Jonathan's picture

Hey so I could use some


Hey so I could use some advice. There is this girl (she's and aries by the way) we used to work together along time ago and used to hang out alot but never alone, just at parties and out with other people. I always had a thing for her. Just the other day after not seeing her or talking to her for 2 years or more I seen she was on facebook and decided to message her. (I just recently broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago so I'm back in the game ha). We messaged back and forth for about 30 minutes or so and she mentioned she might be going out to a bar in town and after a little conversation I told her to meet me there in an hour. I gave her my # and told her to hit me up. I got to the bar, sat in the parkin lot for about 10 minutes talkin to a buddy of mine on the phone and she texted me said she was on her way. I also got a couple of my friends to meet me there. Didnt want this to seem like a date just a night out with friends having a good time. I was the first on there. I sat at the bar ordered a beer and chilled watching the game for a while. She then arrived. All of us had a great time. She seemed to be really into me. I was confident, assertive, and just having a blast. Having other friends there was really good because I did'nt devote all of my attention to her which really is a good thing. We had drinks and all got a little drunk. I could tell she was really into me the whole night. She would always find a way to touch me, either by putting her hand on my back, brushing my arm, having our feet or legs touch i really felt a equal attraction there. Near the end I told her i was riding with her to her house and she was totally cool with it. We got to her house, took a couple more shots smoked a cigaratte, and I just went in for the kiss and she liked it. I kissed her a couple more times, then it was time to go to the bedoom. She said before we went up "no sex" just making out and cuddling, and I agreed and said thats fine. I also established earlier that I wasnt looking for any relationship and she said she was not either. So we go upstairs, get halfway naked, and hop in the bed. We start kissing for a minute then I start playing with her a little(if you know what I mean) and one thing just led to another. We had sex and it was great. I made her orgasm multiple, multiple times, and I know we both really enjoyed it. She also saved the bottle of liquor I brought over, put a line on it and dated it, and said we'd save it for next time. The next day she took me back to my truck, I told her we'll hang out again some other time and told her to just hit me up. She said u better(hang out with her again) and said she would(hit me up sometime). That night I went out again with my friends and had a couple beers and watched football. I told my self all day dont text her let her texy me back. But after 3 or 4 beers I wanted to hang out with her again and texted her(knowing I shouldnt) and jus said let's do something. She never responded which I figured she wouldnt and now its been 3 days with no response or text to me. So my question is do u think she ever will or should I try to initiate it maybe tomorrow cuz i'd like to hang out with her tomorrow. The thing is she an aries and aries girls dont go for guys that chase they like a challenge but how do I give her a challenge if I'm not hanging out with her at all. And I was thinkin the text i send if I do will be something like, lets finish that bottle of vodka sometime. Thoughts?

miles louis's picture

How to woo a girl who's very shy and doesn't return calls/texts?


am the popular,cutest and the most sexiest and well dressed guy in my department(university)...so i always get this attention each time i come into the lecture hall....there is this girl that i have crush on in my class so each she stares at me in a very romantic way...which means she is giving me a green light and sometimes she says hi when she sees me on the road so to me that was a good impression that she likes me...so this became so obvious that we both like ourselves and we both knew that....and students in class noticed that and my friend too...so my friends asked me to go talk to her which i did the first conversation went like this, me: hi naomi
naomi: hi,hope there is problem
me: not at all
naomi:ok
me: naomi i wanna talk to u about something
naomi:ok
me: i just wanna tell u that i like u and ur style and ur composure like seriously am ur big fan keep it up.

it all ended there for that day...and i noticed something about her she feels confident if she around her friends but feels weak and shy wen she is alone...so two weeks later i told her how much i like her and how closer and intimate i will like to get with her and i was talking with her with much confidence she couldn't even look at me in the eyes coz she was so shy and we exchange number a day later i called and asked her about how she was doing and hope she is ok it all went well...about 3 days later tried call her but she is pickin up her calls i have tried her number twice a day with 2 days interval ...but same story and i texed her something like this
"hey naomi,figured i'd drop u a line since we haven't connected in few weeks.just got back from school and i have to keep up with reading coz we might be back in school anytime soon so i heard( strike)....but hope life have been treating u excellent...let me know wats new with u" how about that? but haven't gotten a reply yet still hoping.... what do i do? please help me i love this girl so much and she is very cute. plz help me chase!!

pauly c's picture

awsome start offs but no replys


Chase need your help buddy, by the way love the article man pretty awsome

Heres my case buddy I met this waitress/server at a night club, I got her name & # and also before I got it I asked "If she was seeing someone" she replied "No but she was talking to someone & nothing serious was going on" so at that point I asked her for her # and she said this " I usually dont give out my # at clubs but for you definitely".... & by the way I got her # under 6min lol....soo throughout the night whenever she came by she would show signs of interest ( touching my back, my sides, hands and ect...) but I never did, I was a bit nervous for her for some reason thinking if she was caught flirting around, that something might happen.....so i wait three days...by the way this girls really pretty, model type, you know the 1 that would make you feel really nervous talking to her when you were younger lol just to give you a heads up of what im dealing with....so ya i wait three days, I call and it sounds like shes out & about so she says she"ll call me back, didnt happen that day so I called the next day and left her a message saying " hey friend, whats up, it's paul gimme a shout when your free bye. didnt reply aswell so i called her again the next day but didnt leave a message this time but left a text instead saying

Hey friend what's up? haven't heard from u, hope your doing alright....went to the hospital last night, had sudden side pain attack but all's good I'm a soldier I'll b alright lol... let me know whats new with u

"the best things in life are the ones that are hardest to get"

all true by the way lol but ya its been a week didnt reply but i know theres some interest cause shes on tweeter lol and she actually posted that she "admires my ambition"..... so ya chase i've never been in this situation I usually get the calls through, the texts, the "what took u so long" lol and all that good stuff but i dont really know what to say next.... I do feel confident that if i get her in person things would change

Tania's picture

I needs a mans advice please


Ok so theres this guy I used to go with but we just stopped seeing each other and I hadnt seen him for a few years I saw him randomly a week ago he called out to me and said hi so I went up said hi and he was telling me rhat he thought I had forgotten him I diddnt I lost his number wen I upgraded my phone I told him and he game me his number again and then I left saying I would txt him I txted him later that night and said I was glad I bumped into him he just replyed backk and said ok.after that the next day I asked how he wass hesaid fine ididdnt txt him again till today 2 days after and I asked if he wanted to catch up for a coffie after work he said he wasnt in the area I said that it was ok and then he said he doesnt finish work till 3am. So now im confussed I still like this guy but it doesnt seem like he wants to talk to me anymore or knw me what shud I do and say to him?

Anonymous's picture

No response yet..


Chase,

What's good man? Hey, I just met this girl online yesterday. This may sound ridiculous, but we hit it off within the first hour of texting. She had a flat tire on jer way to work but she continued to text me until she got to work. That was around 10am. She last texted me at Noon. However, I replied to her last message with some questions for her. 5 hours later, still no response. Then I sent her some pics of me to see if it would alert her, still no response. Here it is 8pm right now, still no response. Man, when we were texting, she told me I'm her type of guy and everything. Hmmm... Maybe I showed too much interest. Sucks man. What should I do? I really wanna text her and ask her if O said anythint to make her mad, but that can blow my chances. What would uou do? I could really see myself with her! Help...

Anonymous's picture

Fundamentally disagree with


Fundamentally disagree with some of the advice:

The article claims that "spending less time with women and get them responding more" is banded around as the cure of all cures for why women might not be responding.
Moreover, the entire point of the article appears to be based around getting women into you, which may be achieved through responding.

However, by spending less time with women you might be gaining the wrong sort of attraction. Women who see you for a few minutes don't really get to know the person in front of them, they only get to know what they see in front of them.

When you want women to respond to you it is usually because you have some level of affection for this person, but affection or feelings is useless unless it goes both ways, and by spending less time with women they aren't really getting to know you.

So, ultimately, perhaps this advice is great for those who are aiming to score on what is in front of them, but by trying to get many women to respond that you don't know very well, you're not really finding the right person for you without wasting a lot of time.

This doesn't really even apply to just if you're looking for a relationship; even if i'm just looking for something really casual the type of person i'm looking for is so important - you're choosing to spend time with a person, doesn't really matter what you do with that time.

Anonymous_Dil's picture

Dumbass me


Hi,

I'm 25 year old Indian guy (born and raised in Canada though) and I really quickly met a 19 year old Asian chick at a bar (I found her age by finding her on facebook, but not adding her lol). I got her number in under three minutes. During that conversation she offered to give me her number and I said "oh is this what you say when you put down some guy lightly", and she then immediately offered to call me with her number. Cha-ching I was pretty happy for the night. By the way, I don't think I at any point I complimented her!

Two days later I text her with a "how are you?". She told me she forgot who I am, so I remind her. She responded positively to that. I asked her, for fun, if she followed through with the advice I gave her that night. She told me (with an explanation mark lol) that she didn't remember. I respond saying "ridiculous". She responded that she was a bit too drunk to remember. I responded with "Alcohol is a beautiful cop out, convenient for memory failures lol". And that's the last I heard from her...

Am I an asshole lol? I feel like I definitely should have asked something about her at some point EARLIER. What do I do?!

Apparently I should 1) not respond for a day and then 2) just say "how are you" or call her?

Thanks

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