Elite Eye Contact

Every guy new to the social arts works on his eye contact. He practices holding eye contact, maintaining it even in the face of social pressure from others who continue to hold eye contact back. He learns the importance of maintaining eye contact while speaking with and listening to others. He learns not to shift his eyes around from eye to eye while looking at someone else.

What many don’t realize is that there are advanced eye contact techniques that you can use to take your eye contact to the next level. Eye contact as it’s used by the most socially adroit, most highly calibrated members of society. Call it elite eye contact, if you will.

What elite eye contact is is using your eye contact to communicate power and status. Standard good eye contact communicates confidence and social aptitude; elite eye contact goes beyond that to communicate extreme strength and elite social status. There are a few different veins of elite eye contact, and each builds on the next. Because of that, we’ll look at them here in sequential order.


Eyes That Wait


Unlike lower status individuals who constantly scan their environment and scan the eyes of others for eye contact and nonverbal signals, men using elite eye contact do not normally initiate eye contact with others, and usually don’t engage in eye contact at all until they have decided that they will engage someone socially.

A high status man, when out and about, will usually let his eyes rest up, above the heads of others. Elite men look over others, and only meet their eyes with others’ when they’ve decided to interact with those others. Even when others gaze intently into their eyes, they do not meet those others’ gaze unless they are prepared to either speak with them, or communicate with them nonverbally.

So, if you are practicing elite eye contact as you’re out walking on the street, and you notice (through your peripheral vision) a woman looking into your eyes, you will only meet her eyes when you decide to interact with her, perhaps by opening her, or perhaps by smiling at her. And you would never bring your eyes to meet hers without her first gazing into yours; to do so is to seek a reaction from her – to seek to get her to look at you. It is always better to wait for her to look first.

If you decide to open a woman who is not looking at you, just make sure to pre-open her. This way you can continue to preserve your mystique of being the elite man others strive to make eye contact with.


Eye Contact Half-Steps


Once someone is making eye contact with you, and you decide to make eye contact with them, you can use eye contact half-steps to make your eye contact feel extremely powerful and intense. Depending on how you follow half-steps up, they can come across as either incredibly sexy, or incredibly intimidating.

The way eye contact half-steps work is that, once you’ve noticed someone looking at your eyes and decide to return her gaze, you move your eyes half the distance toward hers, then pause for a second. Then, you move your eyes again to meet hers in full.

It’s important to speak to a girl immediately after doing this. Otherwise, you run the risk of scaring her off. If on the other hand you instantly engage her in a very warm, seductive way, the brief surge she feels upon receiving this kind of eye contact will quickly turn into excitement and interest. It’s a very powerful eye contact gesture.

If you decide to use it to intimidate (if, say, a tough looking guy is staring at your eyes in a challenging manner), you can carry out the eye contact half-steps maneuver and not follow up with verbal engagement, and simply hold eye contact. The level of intensity you deliver from this kind of eye contact will disarm all but the most determined aggressors – it’s one of the most effective nonverbal means of dissuading anyone who was considering causing you trouble from actually doing so.


Shy Eyes


Once you’ve made eye contact with a girl, you can use something called shy eyes. Shy eyes are where, you glance somewhat down – but not all the way! You want to glance about halfway down, and let a small smile spread across your lips simultaneously. Wait for about two seconds, then bring your eyes back up to make eye contact again.

It’s called “shy”, but it’s actually quite sexual. Because you smile to yourself, it removes the feeling that might otherwise be present that you’d been intimidated by the girl; instead, the shy eyes coupled with a smile communicate to her that you are thinking about her and you.

This is slightly different from the glance-and-smile discussed in the post on pre-opening in that the glance-and-smile utilizes a sideways glance, while shy eyes utilizes a downward glance. The glance-and-smile works well as a standalone pre-opener, while shy eyes is something I’d typically recommend using after you’ve established solid, dominant eye contact already, such as by using eyes that wait or eye contact half-steps. You don’t want to seem too shy; using shy eyes after you’ve demonstrated dominance can add a nice yin-and-yang to your eye contact that women find incredibly alluring. You can also use shy eyes throughout an interaction with a woman to great effect.

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Use these forms of eye contact to up the power and effectiveness of your eye contact communication, and catapult your eye contact into “elite” territory. These are the ways that high status individuals use their eye contact; use these techniques to say great things about yourself to all the women you meet.

Chase