Pickup

You hit it off with a girl, or have a wonderful date. Then, suddenly, she has to go. You can avoid this, yet, with better time management.

Ever meet a girl on a bus or train and have a nice little chat, but before you could take her number, she stood up and said, “This is my stop,” and suddenly rushed out the door?

Or you took a girl on a date, with things going swell, only for you to try to take her home but find out she had somewhere she had to be in 45 minutes?

How you manage your time on your dates and in courtships, conversations, and pickups is key. You already know how crucial it is to move faster, hit escalation windows, and get the girl before attraction expires. But at the micro level, you must be able to manage the details of time management, too.

There are two parts of that battle:

1. The knowledge of how much time you have with her
   
2. The strategy around how best to use that time
   

The stronger you are on each aspect of courtship time management, the more success your courtships will bring you.

If a girl wants to hook up, and you do, that’s easy (well, easier). But what if she doesn’t want to hook up – how do you get her then?

I’m a fan of taking girls “off script.” It makes the courtship more personal and more rewarding for me.

If you want to know what this means, here’s all I mean by a script: every girl has a certain thing she’s on the lookout for at any given time.

For instance, her script may be:

• I want to find a boyfriend
• I want to find a husband
• I want to find a guy to hook up with
• I just want to make a new guy friend
  
• I don’t want to meet anybody right now
  

Most of the time on Girls Chase, the other writers and I suggest you look for girls who are on the lookout for what you’re looking for. So if you want to hook up, you look for girls who are down for that. If you want a new girlfriend, you’ll have an easier time of it with a girl who’s gunning hard for a boyfriend, much of the time.

This makes life easier, and it’s a surer path to you and the girl you want together in bed or in a relationship.

However, it’s also possible to take a girl off her script and provide her with a different kind of experience. If you don’t enjoy the process of seduction and you just want a girl who wants what you want as fast as possible with as little work as possible, this article won’t be of interest to you (and you’ll want to focus on looking for girls who are looking for you).

If you’re a beginner, I recommend you get good at teasing out signs of interest and approach invitations from girls, and not worry about trying to get girls who aren’t that interested in you until you’ve got more experience (and lays and girlfriends) under your belt.

Yet if the idea of taking a girl who wants a boyfriend and hooking up with her fast, or taking a girl who just wants to hook up or doesn’t want to meet anybody and pulling her into a passionate new relationship with you intrigues you at all, then read on.

If you just pop up next to a girl during day game, you’ll startle her. To avoid this – and get a smoother open – let her see you first, and make it natural.

Note from Chase: Daniel Adebayo is a Nigerian living in Canada. He’s been a member of the Girls Chase discussion boards for several years now, at a roughly intermediate skill level with girls and learning fast. His first article, on curiosity and day game, kicks off here.

Day game.

For me, those two words have held so much opportunity since high school. The idea that you could just see a girl in broad daylight and then seduce her – that was the pinnacle for me. And when I first embarked on this journey, I absorbed all the information I could find on this topic, took that material, and hit the streets.

Two years and more than a few approaches later, I’d had so many dates with beautiful girls, and even gotten a handful of them into bed. And yet, I was still quite unsatisfied. Something didn’t feel right. I mean, this was great, I was actually having sex – with hot girls too! But it still wasn’t what I had imagined two years earlier.

You see, the main thing was the amount of effort, or more specifically, the number of girls I was approaching was far in excess of the number of girls I actually got anywhere with.

So I went back to the drawing board, got imaginative, and started tweaking things. And after a few months I ended up with something enhanced, new, and better. It transformed my day game. And I’m sure this knowledge will transform your day game as well.

Work, school, while out on errands or your commute. Women are everywhere, and you can MEET them everywhere. With the right approach, of course.

I am a hardcore pickup nerd to the core. I have for the past 5 years set time aside solely to pick up women. This has made me critical toward other seduction strategies in the past under the belief that any other way is unholy.

But after living this long without dying of some serious STD or at the hands of an angry boyfriend, I’ve had more time to develop a deeper understanding of others’ realities. Not everyone can take the time to go out and just straight pick up women. I would never expect to see Elon Musk out developing his verbal skills with women or Donald Trump chasing tail when he’s got important wall-building to do (just joking, don’t hate me).

It is not everyone’s purpose to shag everything that walks, and it would be unhealthy for civilization as a whole if that was our only focus... But guys are still guys and they need a strategy to help them meet women, no matter their living situation.

So I am going to try and help you out as an individual and not as a pickup freak.

If you’re a busy guy, one of the best productivity hacks out there is to invite girls along with you on errands you otherwise have to run.

I know, how unromantic, right?

Well, not every date is about sweeping her off her feet and being her Prince Charming.

Sometimes, all it’s about is building the most effective path toward getting her into bed with you with as little muss and fuss as possible.

After all, you can charm her all you like once you and her are bedfellows.

Enter the errand date: where a large part of the date is structured around her helping you run some errands you have to run.

This is a super fun date, for a number of reasons... Not the least of which is that it builds in tons of compliance automatically, immediately positions you as the leader, and keeps the two of you moving, which leads to lots of shared experiences in a short amount of time... The very formula of a structured date, one of our three date templates.

But how are you going to get a girl to come run errands with you? And won’t she feel insulted? Or think you’re wasting her time?

Resilience: it’s your ability to take a hit (rejection) and keep going. The more resilient you are, the better your odds get with girls.

This week I’ve talked about the beginning being the hardest part, and about the belief some (many?) men hold that women are evil, due to bad experiences with girls, rejections, or even just loneliness, isolation, assumption, or projection.

Today I want to get a little more strategic and give you something you can immediately go out and start to improve on. I’d like to talk about how to be resilient.

If you’re unfamiliar with the subject of resilience in the context of meeting, dating, and sleeping with girls, here’s the explanation in puzzle form:

• Why is it that one man can suffer rejection from a girl, then shrug it off, go meet another girl, charm her socks off, take her home, and have sex with her...

• While another man may suffer rejection, drop down into a funk, start to feel bad about himself, feel bad about women, not talk to another girl the rest of the day, and go home alone?

The answer to this riddle is ‘resilience’ – the ability to bounce back from defeat; to take a hit and stay in the ring.

Because if you can’t shake off a hit, you’re just one big blow away from ‘crushed’.

But if you can shake the next hit off, you stand a pretty good chance to get that date, get that girlfriend... or just plain old get laid.

Talk’s over and she’s gone away. Then there she is: she re-approaches you. Get the re-approach right and she’s yours. But mess up, and, well...

Cold approach is hard.

You get a brief moment with a stranger, and if you do well she gives you some windows. Sometimes things reach a natural end though, where you don’t get the girl then, but it’s time for things to end.

You take her phone number, plan to meet her later, and that’s it for now.

Or maybe it hadn’t gotten that far, and you just say farewell.

Sometimes if she really likes you though... And she starts to feel like she should’ve made her interest clearer or left a window open for you... She will return.

She’ll present herself again, and she will give you a second chance.

She’ll re-approach you, or give you an explicit verbal or nonverbal signal.

But if you don’t jump on her re-approach, that’s usually going to be it.

You’re finished if you miss it.

You might have another shot with her later if you know her via social circle... If you fix attainability and build the preselection to interest her in you again.

However, if it’s cold approach, 99 times out of 100 you’ll just never see her again.