Pickup

Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

How to Never Feel Nervous to Meet Girls Again


nervous with girls
She’s over there, but you feel so nervous about going up to meet her. Maybe she’ll reject you; maybe she won’t be nice. There are a few things to realize if you feel this way, though.

What could you achieve with women if you were fearless?

Think of all the things you could have done and said.

I myself did not start off doing this void of emotion. It used to be so bad for me that I would shake uncontrollably from just the thought of approaching a random person. Everyone has felt this way to varying levels of potency at one point in their life or another. So what is there to do?

You will never completely rid yourself of this. Over time it will dissipate more and more but it will always be there. Yet you can elevate yourself from it. I personally have come a long way from where I used to be. From my meager one approach a week to now being able to approach on command whenever I want.

How do I do this? Needless to say it is not because I conquered my fear but instead because I learned to approach in spite of it. And you can too. You can go into a venue feeling out of it and leave it feeling like a god consistently by taking on the right mindsets and actions. What are they?

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Turn Around a Girl in Auto-Rejection


dating turnaround
A girl who’s in auto-rejection gets cold and snubs you. To turn it around and effect a recovery, you must use this 4-step formula.

This is a firefighting post.

I say that because if you do things right you won’t have to fix anything. But we all make mistakes.

On my article about screening girls for same-day lays, a reader asks:

About that girl giving massive iois and i didnt approach due to exams coming up.. Its difficult to go into social mode when you have your head in books all day since over a month. And to top it all off, she has gone cold.. typical auto rejection, which is my main sticking point for sometime now. She gave me massive blatant in my face AIs but i failed to take action. Price paid. Very frustrating. I have read all your articles on auto rejection.

[...]

Please come up with some technique to turn around auto rejection as its seems impossible once girls go in that territory. You advised value boosts and preselection to turn around auto rejections but would not those make us seem more unattainable and worsening auto rejection as she sees me with other girls and thinks she wasnt good enough? Thoughts?

I was reading your old forum posts and you said not to accept responisbility for her reactions as it make you seem weak. What in this situation when her ego is hurt? Will accepting responsibility that i wanted to come talk to her earlier but could not due to exams better the situation or worsen it? Or should i blame it all on her that its difficult to approach you as you have a lot of security around? ;) (Her parents or brothers are chaperoning her mostly). How about opening with i know i should have come earlier but.. ‘launching into reasons’? This seems like obsessing but i just want to get your take on it.

Is it better to go in as soon as you sense a girl is auto rejecting or give a time gap and re-engage later? And is it possible to turn around their opinions of yourself after ghosting for a while or once its set they see you that way whole life no matter what.. even years later?

Why doesn’t chasing work when the girl is AR? Shouldn’t her hurt ego feel relieved as being chased is an ego boost?

Auto-rejection. If you’ve just tuned in, that’s when a girl feels like she can’t get you... So rejects you before you reject her. It’s a response that lets her shield her ego from a guy she thinks doesn’t like or respect her.

It’s also one of the hardest issues to fix. Particularly if you’ve just met.

Yet, there’s opportunity there too. Because if you can fix the mistake, her passion for you goes through the roof.

How to Be a Lovable Dick, Part 1: Why Being Nice Isn't Always Nice


lovable dick
Sometimes if you’re nice to a girl, that isn’t actually what she wants. She may want nice or she may want tough... it depends on where she’s at.

For most of 2015, I took an interesting route with my behavior.

I knew that attainability was a big barrier for most girls. They knew I was a player or heard about me being a player. Plus, I’d already come so far with my curve into becoming a Genuine Man (and you can read my massive 10 article series on that journey).

So, I decided to test the boundaries of niceness. How completely sweet, caring, and doting could I be with a girl and still dominate her, turn her on, and ravage her like a savage animal?

The answer? Very.

An interaction can go from meeting her to sleeping with her with nothing but smiles, sweet words, loving staring contests, and incessant compliments. Even if she has a borefriend, too (always thought you needed to position yourself as a careless asshole to juxtapose against his capitulating and needy behavior).

However, I also went a bit too far in my niceness. I let girls act aloof, sassy, bitchy, and rude, with no consequence whatsoever. I even got friend-zoned a few times because of this, which hasn’t happened in a while (but was very funny to see).

I needed to get some edge back. So I decided to, well, become a bit of a prick again. And now that I consciously did so, from the ground up, I clearly see why dickish behavior works (and when and how it doesn’t).

Tactics Tuesdays: Screening Girls for Same Day Lays


This should be a fun one.

Slightly advanced. Not too advanced. This should be fine for intermediates on up.

So, this revolves around not boyfriend zoning yourself when screening girls for something quick.

screen same day lay

As you may know if you read this site regularly, it’s good and important to screen girls:

... and after you screen, it’s important to qualify:

Screening and qualifying is important for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is making sure you end up with girls you’ll be happy to be with.

Another reason it’s important though is for making a girl feel like there’s a reason you like her. If she feels like you are trying to sleep with her and she doesn’t understand why, you’re going to end up with attainability problems on your hands (because she’s going to follow Occam’s Razor and assume if you’re interested in her without communicating a good reason for being interested in her, it’s simply because she’s a random piece of ass).

So, you’ve got to screen.

Yet how you screen – particularly when you’re trying to put together something fast – is important.

10 Years Picking Up Girls: 3 BIG Lessons


In this video, I tell you how my perspectives on women have changed over the 10 years I have been meeting and picking up women. I also point out some of the ways beginners think about picking up girls that aren’t always the most helpful, and share with you some alternate mindsets you can use when you go out to meet girls:

How Much Should You Invest in Girls?


Over the years, I’ve urged you to do less for girls and not be so eager to please:

Some of the other writers on this site have urged you to do this as well:

invest in herYet, there is a flip side to this too; and that is that the man who is too stingy with his effort appears petty, tryhard, and socially stunted.

If you’re too much of a compliance miser, girls sense it’s because you fear being too nice. Which can send them into auto-rejection... when they realize you’re deliberately refusing to do for them out of a desire to hold onto power and control (as opposed to, say, not doing for them because you just don’t comply a lot because you’re a free man, outcome independent, and do only what you want to do).

What’s the right balance to strike, then?

How much should you do for girls... as opposed to how much should you not?

That’s what this article is about: how to strike the right balance with your effort.

How to Spike Her Buying Temperature


I do not usually like posting about this kind of stuff, because I feel the more advanced things cater to a very small percentage of guys and I know most benefit more from studying more of the basics.

But, I want to keep everyone awake with something fun, so here is a cool technique I have taken and perfected from one of my mentors. Enjoy!

What I call a ‘Buying Temperature Spike Loop’ (it’s a mouthful, I know!) is a grouping of different techniques put together and arranged to cycle (loop) through to bring forth a reaction from a girl that is in your favor.

Because this is comprised of many different concepts I will go down the line on the mechanics of what makes this loop work; explaining buying temperature, breaks in rapport, compliance, and then at the end I will put it all together and show you what it should look like in practice.

buying temperature

Done properly, what should this technique do?

It should:

  • Build Comfort

  • Build Attraction

  • Build Compliance

  • Get Logical Buy-In

  • Force Qualification

Sound better than good? Perfect. Want to learn it? Frothing at the mouth yet? Yes/no. Cool.

Don’t be So Afraid to Compliment Others


Several times over the years, both on this site and in our newsletter, I’ve discussed compliments: both how to compliment, as well as when to do it, what compliments work best, and even a few nonverbal tricks to make your compliments more convincing.

Despite that, I notice most guys still don’t compliment much, and I suspect this is largely due to a few common fears around complimenting:

  • “What if my compliment draws attention to my own undesirable traits?”
  • “What if it sounds like I’m just trying to ingratiate myself?”
  • “What if I inflate her ego too much?”

I’m not going to tell you those fears are preposterous, because those things do happen.

However, I will tell you those fears are most likely overblown.

And I’m also going to tell you that if you even have these fears at all, you have little to worry about when it comes to paying compliments.

afraid to compliment

Let’s tackle some of these concerns though, and address what’s behind them.

How to Figure Out Your Standards for Hookups and Flings


Today I will just discuss something that I have been thinking about a lot lately – namely, your hookup standards. By standards I am referring to the different elements or traits in a woman that you enjoy, making you willing to pursue her.

hookup standards

Standards are very personal, meaning that there is a subjective element to them. Remember that at the end of the day, you decide which women you want to put effort into.

This post will just be a reflection over standards and not make any claims about what is right or wrong, but rather what choices will give you the most success in the long run. It is the practical element that I am about to discuss.

The perspective of this post is to discuss how one can either:

Anyway, let us get on with it.

How to Get Laid When You’re Really Busy


This year I’ve been busy; really busy. I perform standup seven nights a week, I’m in law school, and I’m a powerlifter. This shortage of spare time has meant I’ve had to change how I approach getting new women in my life.

get laid busy

I’m sure being busy is something that many of you can relate to. That’s why I’ve written this post, which will tell you the best ways to integrate meeting beautiful women into your busy schedule.

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