Pickup

Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

Attract Her Harder with the NLP Contrast Technique

attract her
When you contrast yourself with unattractive men, you attract her more. The key lies in how you highlight their traits versus yours.

Hello everyone. I hope you are doing great. Today I will share another NLP-based technique that you can use to trigger attraction and to make women perceive you as the right guy – for her.

What if you could contrast yourself against all the boring girls a guy meets, and be that much more delicious for her? Wouldn’t that do awesome things for your ability to attract her (and your success rates from those attractions)?

Many men get kind of scared when they see NLP-based material like what I’ll give you today, but I promise you that this technique is actually pretty simple. In addition, this technique that I am about to share is rather risk-free. There’s very little chance it backfires on you.

Worst-case scenario, it won’t work as well as you expect. But I will tell you, the results for me from this technique have consistently been amazing. This is a technique I use a lot when I go out to meet women, and it helps speed up the process.

I will first get straight to what the technique is, then I will explain the mechanism and discuss briefly when one can use it. I will later share some examples in order to make sure you get an idea of how this works.

How to Pick Up Girls in Lounges

pick up girls in lounges
Once you know how to pick up girls in lounges, you’ll find they’re some of the best places for this. More quiet, fewer distractions, and more intimacy make things easier for you.

I discussed night game in general in my 2013 essay “How to Pick Up Girls in Bars and Clubs.” This time around, I’ll detail how to pick up girls in lounges.

What is a lounge?

A lounge is a dark nighttime venue that plays subdued, rhythmic music.

The music isn’t the type you’d go nuts dancing to, or sing along with. It exists to create a background, rather than be the main event itself.

I’ve always liked lounges because I’m not a dance floor guy. Dance clubs and dance bars feature dance as the main event here. People lose themselves in the music and merge into the tribe. A large part of success picking up girls in these venues comes down to how you position yourself in the social hierarchy. Are you a sexy jock? The consummate party guy? Nightclub promoter? What’s your rank within this tribe?

Lounges have a lot less of the tribal element. You can still find tribes within them – like groups of people there to listen to a certain DJ, for instance. But even these tribes tend to be open to outsiders, and take themselves less seriously.

A lounge makes it easier to talk and seduce your way into bed with her. There’re fewer distractions to pull her away from you, and her friends care less about whether you’re part of the tribe (and what rank). Girls cockblock least in lounges, and help you sleep with their friends most here. Lounges are the venues you’re most likely to start hitting it off with a girl, and then her friends just leave the two of you alone to do... Whatever you want to do.

Nonetheless, there are standard elements to lounge pick ups it helps to know. In this article, I’ll show you what those are and how to pull them off... So you can take things from conversation to copulation.

So, let’s talk about how to pick up a girl in a lounge.

How to Calibrate Your Openers to Her Situation

opener calibration
Do you ever struggle with how to open a girl in a strange or novel setting? The 2-part Opener Calibration model makes talking to new girls easy.

It has been said that a masterful seducer – a man who can flip a woman’s script – can walk into a room, any room, spot a girl and know exactly how he will go about seducing her. When I started tweaking my day game process back at the start of the year, this was a thought that stuck with me.

We already know about the flaws of the direct opener (courtesy my first article on Girls Chase, “Day Game Tips: Make Her Curious”), and that if we want to choose our women, making them curious first is the way to go. This is especially true in day game.

But perhaps you might be wondering “How, specifically, can I make her curious in certain situations?” or “What if I’m in a venue where it’s not really applicable?”

A commenter from “Make Her Curious” asked:

How about situations where situational openers are not ideal? Like, picture a girl reading a book or just walking on the street or at the bench. It would be weird to come up and just comment about something.

– Kalyann

This is a good question. In this article I will do my best to not only answer this question, but guide you deeper into the related principles. Namely, the principles of social calibration.

Tactics Tuesdays: Target One Thing at a Time to Get Good with Women

get good with women
You load a barbell one side at a time. The most effective way to improve with girls is to use the same approach: one side at a time, then the other.

There is one thing that bugged me more than anything else when going out with someone new to hit on girls, and I never realized it till a few months back, and only then did I begin to put it into words.

Odds are, if you go out to talk to women, you do this at least some of the time too. Most guys do. And it’s bad for you. I’ll tell you what the thing is in a moment, but first, let me tell you about Seneca’s Barbell.

A month ago I read Antifragile by Nassim Taleb. In it, Taleb highlights the problem I noticed guys running into when I’d go out with them to chat up girls. The solution for this problem is what Taleb terms “Seneca’s Barbell”.

The idea behind Seneca’s Barbell is that when you work on part A of a two-part project, focus just on A; when you work on part B of that project, focus just on B. Do not work half and half on A and B at the same time, because you divvy up your attention between foci and prevent yourself doing either effectively.

As Taleb puts it, think of a barbell used by a bodybuilder. When he prepares the barbell, the bodybuilder places the weights on either side of the bar, not in the middle. Engage and become fully consumed with one side, then be fully consumed with the other. Never try to do both at once. Use your focus to its fullest.

Let me explain how this idea applies to picking up women.

Pacing and Leading a Girl on a Date or in Bed

pacing and leading
Pacing and leading is a potent neurolinguistic programming (NLP) technique used to first match someone’s state, then lead her. It’s extremely useful in dating and seduction.

Ok, so I decided to get into more practical stuff. During the summer I tend to go out so much more, which motivates me to write about more practical stuff.

Before I jump into it, a caveat: this post will be most useful for advanced players.

Sure, as a beginner, there will be a few things in this post that you will enjoy. That being said, this is not what a novice should focus on at first – there are fundamentals that are more key to focus on.

However, if you are an intermediate or even an advanced player, you should absolutely pay attention.

Today’s topic is pacing and leading, a very powerful technique that will allow you to drag people into your reality with little to no resistance. Pacing and leading is a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) technique that will help increase your chances of dragging people comfortably into your reality. Most people are not comfortable being led into a different world, and hence put up their defense mechanism. Pacing and leading allows you to hook them in, lower their guards, and smoothly drag them into you world.

This sounds probably super fancy to you who are new to the concept – and one can make very complicated posts related to this subject. I tend to see many books (many bad books) covering NLP and related subjects that are filled with mental masturbation and over-complications. I will therefore make an understandable, straight-to-the-point post – and you will see... it is not rocket science after all.

So here is how we will do it in this post. I will:

  • Cover the mechanism by which this concept works
  • Show different ways of using the technique
  • Share a few examples

When Day Game Gets You Fewer Dates and Lays, What Then?

day game frustration
It’s frustrating if your results from day game aren’t what they used to be. To solve the riddle of what’s happened, first you need to know what’s changed.

Hello everyone, it’s been a while. Have you ever felt frustrated because you were not getting any results at all from day game?

Or even worse (paradoxically), because you were so successful in recent weeks/months but are now not getting the same results, you feel like you’re crashing?

Well, I guess that happens to everyone, and it’s an annoying feeling for sure, but don’t panic. Let’s dive in a little bit and see what we can do.

I will divide this article into two parts:

  1. What to do if you’ve never been able to make day game work for you

  2. What to do if your day game results peak, then start to fall off or decline

I’ll will cover Part 1 with just a few lines, since there is enough material for beginners on this website already to keep you busy reading for a few weeks. But I will dive deeper into Part 2, which reflects what I’ve been through in the past months and is directed more specifically to intermediate/advanced day game practitioners.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Screen Out Gold Diggers

gold digger
Gold diggers can be a problem, especially if you’re richer than the girls you’re meeting. However, there are two (2) ways to reliably screen them out.

In my discussion of the belief some guys hold that “women are evil”, a reader named SBM asks:

The question is though, how do you screen for gold-diggers? How can you find out whether or not a girl you’re taking out on a date is in fact a gold-digger?

It’s a good question!

I, for one, love girls who are sexy, fashionable, and confident. These are tempting qualities for me in any girl. However, one of the drawbacks of qualities like this is that they’re often – perhaps even most often – found in gold diggers.

And while I’m not wealthy enough to attract top-flight gold diggers looking for a payout all of the time, I dress well enough that I get approached by them sometimes in the U.S. (particularly in Las Vegas, that seedy den of predatory gold digging paradise). And I run into them in Eastern Europe and Asia.

Some guys like gold diggers, or are comfortable with the exchange gold diggers want. If you’re such a guy, who thinks it’s perfectly reasonable for a girl to trade her looks for your resources and financial security, this article won’t be of much interest to you. Or maybe it will be, as a kind of reverse technique. Just do the opposite of it and you’ll attract the gold diggers and repel the girls who don’t believe in this trade.

However, if you’re like me, and you dislike the foundation gold digging rests upon, then read on, and let’s talk how to screen these girls out.

7 Dating Mistakes that Doom Men’s Love Lives

dating mistakes
You’ve hit a plateau and just can’t get results with girls. When this happens, it’s down to at least 1 of the 7 common dating mistakes.

In my article on overcoming loser mentality, a reader named Sub-Zero comments:

I didn’t mean to confuse you with my comments about not approaching and everything, but I do approach and have practiced stuff from your site.

what I mean about not approaching is mostly day time and night street game.

I just haven’t gone up to girls during the day time and approached them or tried to pick them up.

I do mostly grind on girls at the club, and I talk to them as well, but the grinding part is mostly my approach, I sometimes go into convo and get numbers.

I have used techniques from this site, and have gotten lays from it.

it’s just hard for me to put myself out there to potentially get rejected and wasting my time. I always have felt like think that since I was young.

that is how I feel, but I know I can’t feel like that.

I have been here for years and I should be better than where I am at, I have gotten numbers, deep dived, but i haven’t gotten many dates even though I’ve been here for years.

maybe you see something I don’t.

I didn’t realize I have been on my head so much until you pointed it out.

I do approach, but I don’t really count them because it’s not like day game approach, I feel like that is really cold approaching.

Sub-Zero’s commented multiple times in the past that what he wants is to have lots of success with women, and in particular he wants to have lots of success with women 10 years his junior.

These things are, of course, achievable.

The problem is that how he goes about achieving these objectives (and how many guys do) is flawed. He makes a number of very key dating mistakes.

I’ve seen time and again guys frustrated with their results making one or more of these same dating mistakes. The mistakes all center around the same error: the guy gets too caught up on doing certain little things, and misses the big picture.

So, to shake you out of any of these mistakes you may be making, today I want to shine a light on the seven (7) biggest dating mistakes men make... And what you need to do to overcome them.

The “I Have to Get Every Girl” Insecurity

get every girl
Ever feel bad because random girls don’t like you? This is the “I have to get every girl insecurity” – and it can lose you dates and lays.

Not so long ago, I was out with a girlfriend. I’d just left a café I was working at to meet her, waiting outside. When I got there, I greeted her, and then she pointed me to a girl next to her I hadn’t met before. “This is my friend,” she said.

I glanced at the friend, and she glanced at me, and I saw a half-second automatic expression of displeasure flash across her face, before she forced a smile and said hi. I said hello. And I laughed to myself.

The friend wasn’t particularly attractive (she wasn’t ugly; just ordinary). The reaction could’ve been because she didn’t like my look / something about me, or it could’ve been because I accidentally (instinctively) checked her out quickly upon turning toward her (and she didn’t like my look / something about me). I can’t really help it, it’s just an automatic thing, and it excites girls who like me but turns off the ones who don’t.

Either way, once I excused myself to use the toilet, but before I returned, I thought about this interaction, and realized that while this did not bother me now, four or five years ago I’d have taken it personal and felt hurt. And I thought back and realized I’ve seen plenty of this (girl flashes me a look of distaste; I find it amusing), and it hasn’t bothered me in a good long while.

A girl was rejecting me – right? That’s a negative judgment.

But I got a kick out of it. So what’s changed?

7 Quick Tips to Help You Learn Seduction Faster

learn seduction
Seduction is a terrific skill to learn, yet it takes time. Note-taking, watching the best, and turning your phone off are 3 of 7 big wins that speed up the process.

I take the seduction of women very seriously. It is my life, you can say.

Over the years, I have acquired many different strategies and techniques to improve and sharpen my skills.

This week I decided to delve into a few things I do to keep sharp and on top of my craft. As such, I’ve written about seven (7) quick techniques I use to make sure I am at the top of my field... And which will help you learn seduction fast.

Here they are.