Pickup

Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

Making the Approach: Picking and Choosing Girls to Meet


Note from Chase: this was a “lost article” of Alek’s that was originally supposed to be the a piece in his series on bitchy girls and hit and run game. It slipped through the cracks and never got published. In it, there is a reference to his upcoming article; this article’s in fact already out, and it’ll be linked to where referenced. But that’s the backstory – here’s Alek...


We may keep writing articles covering fancy seduction techniques, but what is the point if people don’t go out there and try them out?

Fact is, most people stay at home and don’t talk much to women, not because they are lazy, but because they suffer from approach anxiety. Now, many of you might consider this to be a post for beginners, but, as a matter of fact, many more experienced seducers have trouble approaching too.

making the approach

I will here share a confession and some insights on approach anxiety while criticizing the classic way of doing things (i.e., approach a lot until you get used to it). At the end of this post, I will share with you a different perspective on approaching women.

Again, this is not primarily a post for beginners. Many of us struggle with approaching – the approaching phase is not really pleasurable for most of us. That’s why this post is relevant to men of all levels.

Why Talking Less is (Usually) Best


I had a tiresome dialogue on a long train ride yesterday where I found myself being sidetracked on irrelevancies in what originally seemed like it’d be an engaging conversation.

Throughout the course of this unfortunately lengthy conversation (it was a 6 hour train ride), this man repeatedly ignored points I’d made, talked over me, and argued with me over the most tangential points to our primary conversation subject.

talk less listen more

The tragedy to me was that the conversation had started off with the possibility of being truly engrossing, only for my seatmate to repeatedly divert us to arguing over semantics like the definition of the word ‘training’ (which didn’t even matter; we could’ve used any other word if we had different definitions for what constitutes training and what doesn’t, but my interlocutor couldn’t let it go).

The funny thing was that repeatedly throughout this conversation, this fellow brought up wanting to trade numbers with me, to meet up with me again and bring me along to some free class he was attending, and other things of that nature; and he kept offering me food he had with him and even bought me a bottled water off the drink cart when it came by and I wasn’t present (and I didn’t have any small bills to pay him back for it). The entire time he kept telling me I could pay him back the next time I saw him, which only made me grate my teeth more.

I felt like a pretty girl being hounded by a really nice but really clueless and annoying guy. I kept hoping someone was going to come along and save me. Because it was a packed train ride, there wasn’t anywhere else I could escape to, either (though in retrospect I suppose I could’ve snuck off to the meal car; didn’t think of it). Eventually I was able to let this conversation die long enough for me to fall into a nap and be free.

It occurred to me that this man probably does this with everyone; he enters into these alienating conversations with people, tries to lecture them, ignores any indication that they may know as much or more about a subject than he does, and gets sidetracked on irrelevancies. And that can happen to anyone who’s reasonably educated and passionate about a subject from time to time; I’m sometimes (on rare occasions) guilty of this myself, too.

Yet, had this fellow known the value of talking less, instead of struggling so mightily to be heard and to be right, he wouldn’t have needed to resort to bribery and manipulation to try to coax me into meeting him.

He could’ve simply given me the chance to talk a little bit, and genuinely engaged with me instead.

Classroom Body Language Part II: Positioning and More


This is the follow up to “Classroom Body Language and Other Casual Situations”.


Women don’t see the world logically; when it comes to body language they explicitly avoid logic and instead just “feel” things out. They generally don’t think “Oh it is okay that that guy chose a corner” or “Well he just wasn’t feeling social today”, they generally take things you do as if it relates to them somehow and end up thinking you don’t like girls or are “usually grumpy” or something.

So if you want to get good at body language in a confined space, like in a classroom, you will need to act as if women will never hear your rationalizations for acting passive.

classroom body language

In the absence of girls reading you logically, you need to pay attention to what you do:

  • Positioning
  • Social momentum and how it is affecting your mood
  • How it might relate to her

Most guys just look for where to sit in a very logical way, but it is here at the start that their body language is set into motion to be bland, as they don’t care about what they are doing around women and lack appreciation for their environment and what their positioning communicates. Try to never just randomly pick a spot or let the crowd push you into a corner. It is okay to feel exposed; it will force you to stop playing around and think about your body language.

Great body language will allow you to sit anywhere openly.

Few people know this, but body language relies on social momentum, so never cut and run from exposure; never shroud your shoulders and turn away from everything. Small social interactions fuel body language, and this fuel is necessary to highlight how you feel about women to the women who look at you.

So You’re a Showoff… How Do You Use It?


being a showoffIn “Locating Good Low Competition Sexual Markets", a reader writes in asking about the desire to show off:

Hey, Chase,

I would like to see your article on desire to show off. I have such problem in me that usually I want to be seen as awesome and seek for approval, but it is something that really fucks up with my goals, because I forget my stuff to do and chase approval of peers and girls instead. Such situation where I get flaky girls not responding, or rejections actually bothers me a lot and is extremely painful and I feel so stuck in seeking validation, so I’m insecure and this off putting, I know. Any thoughts?

The desire to be impressive; it’s one that almost every man has to some degree or another.

Some of us have it on a grand scale, while others only have a tiny drop of it; but if no one cared about being powerful and letting all the world know it, action movies (and tales and stories) where the guy gets to save the day wouldn’t be nearly so popular in our time and times past, and dreams of becoming a star or celebrity would be far less common dreams to dream.

Yet, the desire to be impressive can lead us to some pretty ignominious ends:

  • Crippling approach anxiety because we fear looking the opposite of impressive if we approach her and come off poorly or are rejected

  • Inaction when we should take action, because we don’t want to risk making the wrong move, looking bad, and messing it all up, all of this leading to missed escalation windows and expired attraction

  • A tendency for a great many men to require liquid courage before they’re even ready to start approaching, and a much easier time approaching anonymously in dark, crowded nightclubs (where it’s harder, the competition is fiercer, and the overall quality is lower) than on the street in broad daylight (where it’s easier, the competition is nil, and the overall quality is great)

  • Valuing reactions over results, because buddies or disciples are far more impressed by hopped up antics that get girls clapping and screaming than they are by subdued conversation... even if that latter is more likely to lead to a girl in your bed

Plus all number of other success saboteurs.

How do we deal with being a showoff then – do we suppress it, or can we use it?

Next Level Seduction Pt. 4: The Power of Childhood Games


This post is Part 4 in my series of Next Level Seduction series, a series dedicated to illuminating and breaking down the most advanced concepts, processes, and subtleties involved at the highest level of seduction. It’s about discussing ideas that most men may not necessarily think about and identifying the nuances of living your life as a highly sexual and desirable male. So, if you’re new to the game, you can either ignore this or try not to be intimidated. You can read Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.


Do you remember that experience when you were younger; the feeling of being an adolescent or teenager and wondering about what girls were thinking?

And then, somehow, you found yourself in a situation where you were in a circle with a bunch of your friends. And there was always small talk about classes or the newest movie everyone wanted to see, but inevitably, one inquisitive child would ask about or propose playing a game.

Maybe it was truth or dare. Maybe it was spin the bottle. Maybe it was seven minutes in heaven. Or maybe, just maybe, it was never have I ever. And then there would be that moment; that moment where a couple people giggled, a couple people looked at each other, a couple people blushed, and one or two brave souls admitted that they wanted to play too.

seduction games

And then the game would begin. And by the end of it, something memorable would always happen. Maybe you got to kiss your crush at the time, aka, the girl of your dreams. Maybe you got to feel a girl’s body for the first time. Or maybe you just saw two of your friends disappear into a closet and were riveted and shocked when they told you the story of what happened during the recap the next day.

But, no matter what happened, that experience (or those experiences) have always remained with you. Maybe you brought it back in high school and something interesting happened. Maybe you experimented with them in college and brought back that playful childhood inquisitiveness.

But the thing is…the feelings from those experiences never really go away. Everyone — man or woman — has that awkward child in them who just wants to flick a glass bottle and have it stop while pointed at the person they have a crush on.

And playing a childhood game can be a great way to set yourself up for a unique sexual experience— at any age. People never get tired of them. But why is that?

Today I’m going to look at those old childhood games that we all know and love, and I’m going to talk about why they’re absolute sexual dynamite.

7 Powerful Sexual Lines That Turn Girls On Fast


Since my recent posts have been covering basic yet important elements of seduction, today I decided to share a really powerful, advanced technique. So this post is primarily for advanced seducers.

The technique I will talk about – that of sexual lines – will allow you to get women chasing you in clubs and bars in no time. Another aspect of it is that women will chase you sexually, allowing you to escalate to really dirty sex. This technique is advanced and requires you to have your basics in check and be able to comfortably get sexual with women.

sexual lines

But what if you are a beginner?

Well, I will also share a simplified version of the actual technique that should give somewhat similar results but that’s less risky and easier to pull off. The price you pay however is that the simplified version will have less of an impact.

Locating Good Low Competition Sexual Markets


Last week, in “Game Imbalance Hypothesis” we discussed the concept that environmental influences greatly affect your game, which affects your sexual competitiveness in different dating markets.

And in “Navigating Highly Competitive Sexual Markets” we talked about how you can adjust to new and more competitive sexual markets than what you’ve traditionally been accustomed to (going from suburb to city, say; or dive bar to dance club).

Today what we’ll talk about is low competition sexual markets – the places you can go to stand the best possible chance of having your efforts to meet and get somewhere with women go as seamlessly and easily as humanly possible.

low competition dating

Those places you go where, with little or no adaptation required, you start stacking up reams of lays and high quality girlfriends, based on your skill set and fundamentals developed in tougher markets alone.

While high competition sexual markets are fantastic for training you up and forcing you to advance your game to new heights so to pass more stringent sexual selection criteria, low competition markets allow you to take what you already know how to do and maximize its output.

These places serve as multipliers for your success rates.

The 6 Rules of Cougar Dating (You Must Follow These!)


cougar datingOver the last few weeks we’ve covered “The 7 Greatest Things about Cougars” and “How to Have Sex with a Cougar”. These two posts covered why cougars can be so alluring, why it can be fantastic to be able to get sexually involved with them (as if you didn’t already know that), and how to go about actually getting one in bed.

So suppose you followed the methodology of the last two posts. You’ve come to understand the mindset of the cougar; you’ve come to understand what her circumstances and what her expectations are; and you followed the process of either meeting her in person or online and managed to take her to bed. And let’s say now you have put yourself in the situation where you have an established sexual relationship with the cougar.

How do you go about maintaining consistent and positive rapport with her? That is what I want to talk about today: the six rules of cougar dating.

Navigating Highly Competitive Sexual Markets


competitive sexual marketsIn my previous article in this series, “Game Imbalance Hypothesis”, I discussed why men moving from highly competitive sexual markets generally have an easier time in less competitive sexual markets, and why men moving from less competitive sexual markets generally have a tougher time in more competitive ones.

A reminder that sexual markets can include:

What we’ll talk about today splits into two (2) things:

  1. How you navigate these more competitive markets with tougher sexual selection criteria when you are a new entrant hailing from a less competitive environment

  2. How you differentiate between a competitive-but-good sexual marketplace versus a marketplace where it’s difficult to find new or quality partners simply because there aren’t many available to be had

The latter is needed is because knowing how to navigate tougher markets is not enough. You need to know if you’re even dealing with a market that IS a tough market – or if it’s simply a locale without much of a market in the first place.

Downplay Her Interest and Really Make Her Want You


I’m writing this in the same vein as “Be Intriguing. Be Memorable.” in the hopes of encouraging you to keep your core approach to women simple. This article is about how we need to allow a girl space to show interest without overreacting.

By not trying to take advantage of every opportunity and spring into motion the moment she shows a flash of interest, we not only communicate a lack of desperation but we give a girl the space she needs to expand on her already present good feelings naturally (without effort or thought).

downplay interest

If you give her space to feel her attraction, then the seeds you plant, no matter how small, will come across clearly. A clear and simple approach allows precision, consistency, adaption, and also abides by the Law of Least Effort.

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