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How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 5: Odds and Ends

meet girls in gay bars
The final article in the “meeting girls in gay bars” series: the best place to open, how to isolate in gay bars, the gay after party, and more.

Greetings!

Welcome to the 5th and final chapter (for now) on seduction in the gay environment. To date, I have shared this 5-part guide in addition to two other articles that indirectly cover relevant elements on this subject. If you haven’t read those articles yet, here they are.

And here are those related articles:

Just like our previous article, this one will focus on elements of the seduction process that are unique to the gay environment (things that are particularly awesome about it) that you should exploit. We’ll also discuss potential difficulties and other things to watch out for – and how to deal with them.

The focus of this post will be on the surroundings, the situation, and the context in which the seduction takes place. You’ll learn how to understand and properly manage the logistics, some of which are in fact different in this environment.

There are also some logistical “shortcuts” or “cheats” that I want to cover.

Let us get into it.

Most Guys Who Suck with Girls Have No Idea Why

suck with girls
When a guy doesn’t do well with girls, usually he finds something to blame. But most of the time, what he blames is not the true culprit.

Everyone is an expert, as the saying goes. The less you know, the more you are convinced there’s nothing you don’t know. People will repeat non-stop how your success with the opposite sex is predetermined. I have too many friends who have been approaching women for years, still whining about things they cannot control instead of focusing on improving what they’ve got. It is ridiculous.

But it makes you wonder: how much is there for the average person to improve, given proper practice and incremental development?

The Endgame Guide: How to End Dates and Pickups in Bed

seduction endgame
The endgame of a seduction is one of its’ most crucial points. How do you get her alone, sexual, and escalating toward the bedroom with you?

So you’ve got a hot and friendly girl in front of you at a club, but you don’t know how to take the next steps that will lead to your arrival inside her warm spring back at your place. Don’t worry, you are about to get some practical tips that will help you visualize the process, build your confidence, and get that hot girl horny and having sex with you.

If you have done much clubbing, you have probably found yourself in a situation where you have met a hot girl and wanted to bring her home with you, but making it actually happen seemed like a fantasy. You’re not alone! That’s why I wanted to put together a guide detailing some of my own quick and dirty tips to help you out.

This guide is primarily directed to guys who practice night game, but some of this stuff is also very helpful for bringing girls home and having first-day sex with day game.

Let’s get to it.

Tactics Tuesdays: Confusion Game (for Disinterested or Difficult Girls)

confusion game
Some women are a lot harder to get than others. But if you keep them on their toes, in the dark, and following your lead, you can yet get them.

This is for more advanced practitioners of game. If you still ride seduction training wheels, don’t worry about this yet. You can circle back to this article and its contents once you’ve progressed a bit further.

Confusion game is the term I’ve long used to refer to a style of game focused on befuddling answers and high uncertainty. This style of game only works if you have strong fundamentals; and, in particular, it only works if you have a strong sexual presence. Women you use it with must be sexually interested in you.

The underlying premise of confusion game is this:

The mating process involves having a woman overcome or set aside her logical reservations, that she may indulge in her physical / sexual / emotional urges. By triggering the latter with good fundamentals and game, and disarming the former with thought-entangling confusion, you give her the ability to set logic aside and indulge in her desires.

Further, by keeping her in a state of confusion, you establish yourself as the unambiguous leader. You are the one who knows what’s going on and leads the way. She is in the dark, and must trust you and stick by you as you lead.

Confusion game is not a girl-getter in and of itself. If you are not too attractive yet, and you go around confusing women, all you will end up with is a bunch of confused women.

However, when coupled with an all-around solid seduction skill set, confusion game allows you to bypass too-logical reservations women have. It is a way to throw a wrench into a woman’s objection machine. And on top of this, it allows you to build and maintain a firm, unshakeable lead – you are, after all, the only one who actually knows what’s going on.

Why Do Guys So Often Take Girlfriends Right After Major Pickup Breakthroughs?

pickup breakthrough
Like clockwork, a guy makes a breakthrough in game – then gets a girlfriend. And before he solidifies his gains, the gains are gone. Why’s this happen?

I talked to Hector the other day about a phone coaching student of his. His student had just begun to break through a barrier he’d been stuck at, began to get more and hotter girls, and then... he jumped into a monogamous relationship.

It’s a trend in seduction. I’ve witnessed it innumerable times over the past dozen years. I used to hear grizzled old veterans make dire warnings against it on hoary old seduction boards: “Be careful, because right when it finally starts to come together for you, that is when you’ll take a girlfriend and drop out of the game.”

A few years in, I’d see a guy pop back onto forums after having vanished for a year or two. And you’d see him and be like, “Oh yeah... that guy! I think he was just starting to get good before, right? What happened?” Invariably, he’d explain that he’d gotten into a relationship before, just as he was peaking... but now it was over, the girl and he had split up, and he was easing back into the swing of things again... except now he had to climb back up to that barrier he’d been breaking through a year or more before. And now he had to try to break through that barrier all over again.

And I would see this happen, time and again, and say to myself, “Why don’t guys just hold out a couple more months? Why not solidify their breakthroughs and make them permanent first? Why do so many men rush off to monogamy as soon as they break through? And how exactly do all these chicks identify the guys who hit new heights and so efficiently snap them up off the market the moment these guys break through?

There are a bunch of questions here, and they’re worth looking into if you’re hard at work on your skill set with women... and want to make sure it’s a skill set you keep, rather than one you find yourself trying to recover lost ground in later on.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 3: Your Approach and Vibe

meet girls in a gay bar
In gay bars, you don’t want to be an approach machine. Instead, it’s often best to let girls come to you. Also vital here: your vibe and conversation topics.

Welcome back. This is part 3 in my series on how to meet girls in gay bars. You may read parts 1 and 2 here:

In this post, I will start getting into the whole “how to seduce in a gay club” thing, but keep in mind that this will not be a seduction guide from A to Z.

Most of the usual seduction rules still apply in gay venues. I remember the times I’ve brought skilled seducers into the gay environment, such as when Pablo Garcia visited me a few weeks back and asked me how to work these venues. I usually tell guys to do what they would normally do. Truth is, it doesn’t take much time to figure out the dynamics in these venues. You will not be seducing dudes, you will be seducing bisexual and straight women. It is not that different from what you would usually do.

It is just the environment that changes. In the case of a bar, only the crowd has changed, but you still have to deal with usual “bar vibe” related things. For instance, with clubs, you still have to deal with wildcards, noise, chaos, and all that good stuff.

Overall, things are more or less the same, with the only exception being that big chunks of the crowd will be gay.

So in this post, we will discuss the elements that are unique to the gay environment as they relate to seduction. I will cover the things you will have to keep in mind when hunting in this community.

Basically, I will cover a set of rules. In my next post, I will cover how you can work through each phase of the seduction and cover the elements that are specific to this environment.

Anyway, let us get back on point.

If You Go Out to Meet Girls, You Need to be Cross Gaming

cross gaming
Do you do day game, or night game? When you cross game – that is, do both day game AND night game – you get the benefits of both, and more.

Have you decided to start to cold approach but wonder which type to choose – day or night game?

Or maybe you’re already experienced at one or the other, and you’ve asked yourself whether it’s worth it to branch out. Should you stick to your niche... or diversify?

To put simply, should you make a choice between these two times of day, two styles of meeting women?

I believe quite firmly that the answer is to do both.

This article sums up my reasons for why you should be ‘cross gaming’.

What is cross gaming?

Cross gaming is making use of multiple avenues to meet and seduce women. While there are several ways to cross game (i.e., social circle, online, etc.), for the sake of this article, we’re going to focus on the cold-approach aspect of both day game and night game to meet and seduce women.

In this article, I’m going to explain why you should start cross gaming... if you aren’t already.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Handle a Bad Night at the Bar

bad night at the bar
Have a bad night at the bar and you may want to give up and go home. But it’s not over just because you’re off to a bad start.

Every time you step outside your door, you enter a world filled with different, random, unknown others. Some of those others will be delighted to meet you. Some will be indifferent to you. Some will be rude, dismissive, or flat-out hostile. And on any given outing, the proportions of each of these groups you meet will be somewhat random.

There are a variety of ways you can increase the odds you meet folks delighted to encounter you, and minimize the odds you meet folks who want nothing to do with you. Some of those ways include:

Yet, you won’t always be able to implement all these items. Sometimes you may want to check out a new venue, or you reach a preferred venue on an off night and discover the crowd is different from usual. Suddenly, you’re not tailored to the girls present and the environment is not so low competition.

And regardless the steps you take, there is always that element of randomness in the people you meet. Sometimes you’ll go out and every girl you talk to wants nothing to do with you. Other times you’ll go out and the second or third (or even the first) girl you talk to is all over you and ends up going home with you.

Each time you’ll be inclined to think “it’s you.” When the girls reject you left and right: “I must be really off my game tonight,” or, “Did I dress in a weird way or something? Am I putting out a weird vibe?” And when girls are all over you: “Damn, I’m good!”

Yet much of the time it’s pure chance. It’s often dumb (bad) luck when you get that string of girls who reject you all in a row. And more dumb (this time, good) luck when one of the first girls you talk to is the one you take home.

Today, I’m going to give you some tools to employ when you hit bad luck any given night. This post assumes you go out and talk to various (i.e., more than two or three) people with an intent to find a girl to take a number from or to take home. If this is not your style, it still might be an interesting read; in that case, read it through, file it away, and pull it out should you ever find yourself emboldened to meet enough girls to find that one you click with and can take home.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 2: Gay Bar Patrons

gay bar patrons
The list of gay bar patrons include a colorful cast of characters… and 3 varieties of eligible female.

Hey, and welcome to the second post in my series on gaming in the gay environment.

Previously we discussed the different types of gay venues, some of their basic dynamics, and how to handle them. Today we will discuss the different people who attend those venues. Most gay venues tend to be open to everyone, but there are certain types of people you will find here most often. Since these types of venues are niche, it is key to understand the crowd.

I will split this post into two sections, first discussing the girls (who are not gay), then explaining the regular visitors who are part of the LGBT crowd. Basically, in the first section I will cover the people who you’ll seduce, and the other section will be dedicated to the crowd you’ll have to deal with.

Before we begin... the disclaimer:

Disclaimer: If you happen to find an awesome gay club or discover that gay clubs are good places to get laid, please do not tell all of your bros. Truth is, I have seen many great gay venues die because of this. They are something special for a reason, and if too many straight men come over, the vibe will be ruined and the venue will cease to be what it is. I have been hesitant to share the info related to “gay game” for this reason, and I hope you understand and keep this info for yourself.