How Preselection Works to Get You Girls | Girls Chase

How Preselection Works to Get You Girls

In early 2007, back when I was still trying to figure out how to achieve consistent results picking up women in bars and nightclubs, I took some time to look back over the successful pickups I'd had over the past 6 or 7 months to see what common patterns I could pick out among them.

I noticed a few trends: I'd often had a sociable night early on, talking to different people, before meeting a girl. Sometimes I had social proof.

And almost ALL the time... I had preselection.

It blew my mind when I realized it.

Right after I'd end an interaction with an attractive girl who clearly had a good time talking to me, I'd meet the girl I'd end up picking up. Like clockwork. I even started to think that, had the roles been reversed - say, had I met the girls in the reverse order, maybe I would've picked up the other one instead.

Could it be that all you REALLY needed to get girls was preselection and an emphasis on moving fast?

preselection

Even to-date, most of my fastest pickups have come after a smattering of preselection to grease the wheels of the coming seduction.

And if you're not using it in YOUR interactions with women... you are sorely missing out, my friend.

Allow me to explain.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Johny 'Hi Five' Gordon's picture

Hey Chase,

Wow! Steaming advice this time, but I was wondering at what you hinted to half way through. How would you utilize this in a relationship scenario? I had a 2 year relationship a while ago that I could probably have used this on, but we never went to clubs, bars or restaurants and mainly did sporty, outdoor activities. I'm sure I could have done a little teasing or something similar with a female team mate or paid one a little too much friendly attention, but I'm interested in hearing how you would create a preselection situation with this in a non-club situation.

Thanks in advance,

Johny 'Hi Five' Gordon.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Johny,

Good question. Preselection's something you want to routinely remind women of in relationships... but gently.

Ricardus talks about this in "How to Stop Playing Games" - the danger of overdoing it.

You essentially only want to use preselection if she's A) starting to get bored with you or B) starting to get bored in general. You can use it if she's getting rude or disrespectful, but if you're a strong dude that's happening because she's already feeling like you're never going to give her what she wants, and showing her you've got even more choice with women can push her over the edge into one of those nuke wars Ricardus talks about.

If she's starting to act a little bored, your plan of attack is this:

  1. Let her see you talking to another girl
  2. Make sure the other girl looks like the aggressor
  3. Go back to your girl, don't say anything about the other girl; treat it as a non-factor

#2 here is vital. If you've got a smart girl and she sees you orchestrating this, she'll think you're deliberately trying to make her jealous, and then the game-playing begins. If she isn't as socially astute, she'll still know something was off, but she'll just think you're trying to get other girls and then she'll get depressed or angry.

So - it's easiest if your fundamentals and game are already relatively solid and women are attracted to you anyway. The strategy I use when out with girlfriends is to put a little initial energy into catching a random girl's attention - she could be a waitress, or a cashier, or anyone, doesn't have to be a girl at a bar or a social event - and then backing off. Still being flirty, but only the "socially obligated flirtation" rather than a more active "I'm trying to get you" flirtation. You know, kind of like how you'd flirt back with a girl you weren't really all that into who started flirting with you, just so she'd lose face, but not enough to tempt her to push it any further.

What happens is, your girl sees this girl working harder to get you, and you politely flirting back a little but more or less giving her the brush-off, and your girl is reminded that, yes, I've got a catch, with the kind of power over women I want my sons to have.

And later that night, she holds you a little more tightly.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

This article is on FUCKING FIRE. The effects of pre-selection recently happened to me when I was at a nightclub. I was dancing with some chick, talking to her trying to get her number, but supposedly she was there with her BF! And he dragged her out of there! So less than 15 seconds after they left and as I was trying to catch my bearings to see who was next in line for me to hunt, this beautiful woman stands right next to me, and places her breasts on me. But I was looking in the opposite direction and didn't see her at all. She obviously was trying to get my attention, and clearly saw my interaction with the girl before her. So I turned to her and tried dancing with her, but she was acting aloof like she didn't want to dance and she didn't like me. But the games were on! So I persisted and eventually we danced, and then I pushed for the close about 30 min after. She was there with her friends, so I had to head-off any objections by the friends before they had a chance to ruin my nite. I had to persist a few times before I got this girl out of there (with her friends' blessings) and on to a more fun after-party, but it was all fun to keep fucking persisting! A year ago and I would have given up after the first "no way!" I will never understand why a woman is more attracted to a guy that she sees having success with other women first (I dont need to see a woman having success with guys around her in order for me to be attracted...either I'm attracted to her appearance and style/vibe or I'm not. It's binary for me). But the point is, preselection, persistence, and moving fast works. Real Talk!!!!!!!!!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon,

Glad you liked the post. Great job with your persistence - it can make all the difference.

You noted:

I will never understand why a woman is more attracted to a guy that she sees having success with other women first (I dont need to see a woman having success with guys around her in order for me to be attracted...either I'm attracted to her appearance and style/vibe or I'm not. It's binary for me)

Indeed. There are some aspects of pickup, seduction, and relationship management that are SO counterintuitive to learn as men that they take longer to wrap your head around than other concepts. These are things like preselection, social proof, persistence, and confidence.

As a man, you meet a woman who's super persistent and it's a huge TURN OFF. So, a lot of guys assume, "Yech, I'd be repulsed by some girl persisting with me... so I'll just slow game it with her and she'll realize what a find I am."

And then they watch her running off with that damn persistent guy. What just happened?

Because men and women are looking for different things from one another, their mating strategies and preferences are very different, and often difficult to understand. Ever meet a wise-cracking girl, or a super-direct one? Maybe you hooked up with her (or maybe not), but you certainly didn't date her. These girls are the ones who've decided they weren't happy with the men they were getting, so figured they'd start making themselves more attractive to men to get more - so they started doing the things to men that they found attractive when men did to them. Doesn't work out.

Most men would prefer a woman by herself to one with a guy.

Most women would prefer a man with a girl to one by himself.

This ends up being something you'll usually have to learn logically / rationally, and then only once you've seen it play out again and again does it start becoming an intuitive understanding you have.

Chase

Derrick's picture

I have NEVER heard preselection described so clearly. I didn't even think it was real, since before this I didn't even know what it was.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

I know, it becomes one of those "terms" you hear thrown about and just figure, "Eh, that's one of those old PUA myths that guys use to make themselves sound more hip to the jive."

But actually, it exists! Most guys don't use it properly, but it's a cannon when a lot of the other things guys are using are flyswatters.

Chase

Derrick's picture

Like I said, I didn't even know what it was, although I heard about how good is was.

Tyler's picture

As usual another great article. My favorite part is having the no outcome mentality when talking to the first girl... She's just for bait! I know my hang up lately has been hooking a set early in the night. I can be extremely social but can't seem to close early evening. Can't wait to go out with this frame tomorrow!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Thanks Tyler. Awesome to hear you'll be trying this out. Do report back if you see some results (or, encounter any weird situations!).

Cheers,
Chase

basalt1984's picture

Thank you for the post Chase, it blew away my mind. While I has faced somewhat similar situations (i.e girls coming up to me [What they did to me,I leave it to your imagination:D] after my girlfriend left the dancefloor) I always assumed women did this to just for:
1) little bit of fun or;
2) stir up trouble or;
3) just wanting something they dont have.

Now that I am single again, this will be a interesting technique to try out:D

KING SINCERE ALLAH's picture

you,ve done it again fellas! yall deserve a Noble Peace Prize, for getting my piece wet!!! but all jokes aside, ever since i've come to your site my game (mentality) has increased two fold. i'm in debt for life Chase! let me know if you ever need me for anything that isn't criminal.

i've asked this question before, i don't believe i received an answer. how does all this social mastery relate to Pimps?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

King Sincere,

As in, ACTUAL pimps?

If that is what you're asking, pimps often recruit by having one of their existing girls get new girls and bring them back to the pimp. A girl's a lot more willing to sleep with a guy her friend approves on. After that though, it's all psychological stuff and mind games, getting the girl increasingly invested in the pimp and doing more and more and bigger and bigger things for him, and creating a feeling of dependency.

It's interesting stuff, no doubt, but I certainly wouldn't recommend it as something to model yourself after. Pimp-ho relationships usually end extremely badly, as do the relationships that are based on pimp-ho dynamics (ratchet up the woman's investment, get her over-invested, make her emotionally dependent... at some point, she becomes acutely aware of the imbalance and massively auto-rejects).

Chase

A happy dude's picture

Hey Chase,

Awesome stuff as usual, I'm new to all this stuff as I've focused on other stuff before rather than developing relationships and always got friendzoned! I could be a guru on making friends. Recently I've taken all your advice and even with an operation which left my mouth swollen I've been able to get random woman down town to notice me so much more. I've gained confidence and now I hardly stutter, I just need to practice more with talking to my mates who are still way above me and considered as Alpha males by others. However, eye contact has been the best thing I've learnt. Today a rather bored looking young woman at a store was serving me and I just went through my business while making good eye contact and out of no where she started asking about my clothes and even asked if she could feel them. Later on I passed the store and she noticed me straight away and made conversation. However, how should I would? I'm confident with my walk at the moment but it's probably not the best. I believe I may be too rigid? Thanks!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Happy Dude,

That's great to hear, man. It's a lot of fun when you first start playing around with making eye contact and attracting more awareness from the women around you. Sounds like you're recognizing the power intrinsic in some of that.

Walk... I cover that in the book, but don't think there's anything on it on the site here. In case you don't have the book yet, here's a quick primer:

  • Chest out
  • Shoulders back
  • Back straight
  • Chin up or parallel to the ground

One of the quickest ways to learn is to keep an eye out for guys you see out and about who have a really confident-looking walking. Pay attention to what the guy's doing - posture, stride, hip and shoulder movement, speed of walk - and model it. What works for one guy, works for the next. I started out copying big muscular guys' walks when I was a teenager, even when I was pretty skinny, and people started treating me like those guys. It was pretty remarkable.

Chase

Kyle's picture

I had a situation the other week that baffled me and this article brings new perspective to what happened. Here's the story:

I got back from a date that went particularly well at 3 in the morning. My roommate and a couple of her friends were at my place hanging out with her. I joined them for a drink and my roomie asked about my date several time, which I wouldn't give any more detail then 'it went well'.

Shortly into hanging out one of the girls latched onto me (I wasn't trying for special attention of any kind cause tbh, I was ready to go to sleep). When things started to slow down and people started leaving she asked me to go with her to smoke a cigarette where she went into full on eye fuck mode. Se ended up staying the night and we haven't talked since.

My sense is this was some mix of social proof and preselects on because I put zero effort into seduction. Anyways, thanks for the insight!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Howdy Kyle,

Yeah, this is a fun combination of preselection and hooking up with friends. Essentially, a girl from the periphery of your social circle heard about your success with women and it led to a hook up.

Preselection can be verbal, and in your case you got the strongest variety of verbal preselection - someone else brings something up about you and girls, and you play it off casually like it's no big deal but very subtly imply that something *might* have happened.

As a result, you hit this girl's radar like a nuclear submarine.

Fun times with social dynamics, eh?

Chase

Hunter's picture

What's the difference? They both seem to be related. Also, when you are going for preselection, how do you make the interaction go well with the girl you're talking to? A little bit more explanation here would be great. I use preselection in some areas, but I have no idea how to use it when I need it most. For the girl you're talking to to gain some preselection, are you actually trying to pull her out of there or are you just being friendly?

Thanks Chase!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hey Hunter,

Social proof is anything where a girl sees you being approved of socially by a group of people - e.g., you're clearly a leader of a group; you're on-stage in front of a bunch of people giving a talk or acting in a play; you're popular with everyone in a certain gym or bar or class or office environment. The emotion she feels is, "This guy is cool, safe, and normal." Her guard is lowered, and she's open to accepting whatever attractive qualities you have.

Preselection is where a girl sees other women around you, and especially other women ATTRACTED to you. The emotion she feels HERE is, "This guys is cool, safe, and normal, AND he's very sexy and attractive." Now, not only is her guard lowered, as it would be with social proof, but she's actually going to be more attracted to you than she would someone who simply had social proof. Showing that you're attractive to women is a key attractor, similar to being good looking or wealthy or confident or charismatic, because part of what women select for in mates is a man's attractiveness to other women (they're selecting for genes that will give them stronger sons who are more likely to pass on their genes, and do so with stronger and more attractive females).

The girl you're talking to to muster up some preselection you'll talk to the same as any other girl, but you'll want to make sure you're doing it in a very visually accessible and attention-grabbing place - to maximize both how many women can see you talking to her, and how frequently they come back to checking out your interaction. If you have a "fast forward" on your attraction - if you're able to make girls get super-attracted in a hurry, which you'll usually start to develop around intermediate to advanced levels of game - you'll want to use that with this girl, so that she starts displaying lots of signs of interest and attraction that other girls can see (one of the downsides of "fast forward" is that it's a lot easier to crash, but you won't be so worried about that with this girl).

Chase

Golly's picture

The domino effect can go the other way, though: if they see you with no girl around (it happens) it is going to be a dry spell nonetheless. Is it not?

Ahmed Hashmi's picture

I was invited to a female friend's birthday at a bar, and as I walked into the bar, and noticed her with a few friends of mine, we were having a mutual conversation. the next thing I noticed was that she invited other female friends.. I approached them humbly because I thought that it would be rude if I did not introduced myself to them,, as that happened, I sensed a negative vibe, and I thought to myself, ok whatever. I moved away from their table, and started talking to the buddies, I was walking around the bar as well, and I was speaking to a few girls at the bar other than the ones that were invited. As I stopped talking to the random girls at the bar. The invited ones had their eyes on me. I did not understand why, but now I do. My question is, what can I do now that I have their attention, and that I have proven to them that I'm an attractive man?

Anonymous's picture

so this girl at school had a thing with me, talking for a month now almost everyday, all was going good we were touching each other occasionally and I could've literally kissed her if I wanted to, I felt I had the power to do so. We got into an argument and then I mentioned that we shouldn't argue like that any more because we both know that we like each other. After saying that it kinda pushed her farther away, she also said that she didn't want to be in any relationship with a guy because she wasn't looking for one or it wasn't her thing after i had said that comment, friend zoned? its been a couple days and we both haven't texted each other, going to school tomorrow, would me using this pre selection technique work on this girl? or any other girl as a matter of fact im just trynna fuck lol

Anonymous's picture

i aint gonna take too much time, what i need is 1 : how can i get any girl, anytime, anywhere, using the pre selection, the social proofs etc

H-Town Legend's picture

A picture says a thousand words. Ive never been to a site with better photos than yours. I am reading up again and finally have a paid subscription. Gratitude man.

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