Book Excerpts: Being Attainable to Women

attainableFor my first few years actively learning how to get girls, there was one thing I struggled with above all else: how to be attainable. Value I understood; be an attractive, high-value man, and women will want you. Investment was straightforward enough; get people putting in more work, and they'll come to value you more highly.

But how the heck did attainability work? I couldn't get my mind around it. I got the concept logically, but emotionally I was still checked out.

I had no clue how to really be attainable. I couldn't even figure out how to tell if not being attainable enough was my problem... or if I was coming across lower in value, or I needed to get more investment.

The excerpt I chose for today's excerpts post covers some of the ground floor stuff on attainability. This selection is from my eBook, How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams, and in it, we go into the four essentials you need to know to properly manage your attainability (and keep from sending women into auto-rejection [you're too unattainable] or just friends [you're too attainable]).

Here's the excerpt:

Here are the four essentials for managing your attainability:

  1. Screening her. Screening is basically probing for things you like. Asking things like, “Do you cook?” and, “Are you artistic?” are screens. She has to know that you have standards. This works both ways in attainability – if she feels a man lacks standards, she might feel he’s either too easy to get because of it, or doesn’t really care about the interaction (or her) enough to screen her, and thus is too hard to get.
  1. Accepting her value offerings. Women offer value quite often on their own that men do not accept. If a woman offers to get you a drink, thank her and, if you’d like one, accept. A lot of men have these ideas that they should not accept things women offer them, to appear stronger or more independent or some other rubbish like that. But what rejecting a woman’s value offerings really does is it makes her feel instead like her efforts to please you are being rejected. If a woman offers her time, or her effort, or even to tell you a little more about herself, unless you really must turn her down, your attainability is going to tend to be much better served by accepting. If you must turn her down, be generous in how you do so: “I’d love if you cooked. I already ordered some delivery for tonight; let’s cook tomorrow. I’d very much like to eat your food again.”
  1. Rewarding her. When a woman responds well to a screen, or offers value that pleases you, or does something else you like, it’s extremely important to remember to reward her. Otherwise, she’ll begin feeling like her investing in you is going unrecognized, and will begin viewing you as too hard to get – no matter how much work she puts in, it’s not enough.
  1. Addressing her challenges. When a woman challenges you, she’s testing how strong you are and how valuable you are. It’s important that you respond to challenges the right way. Sometimes it requires you to challenge her back; or dismiss her challenge outright; or even address it in a non-supplicating way.

Being attainable is one of those "matrix" concepts that you'll usually have a harder time getting your head around the longer you've been thinking of getting girls as predominantly a question of impressing them enough and being high enough in value for them. It's an entirely different way of thinking about things - that girls don't just reject you because you're not good enough for them, but because they feel like they can't get what they want out of you.

It's crazy, when you first start coming to grips with it.

No matter where you're at with mastering the art of being attainable, however, you can use these tips to keep you focused an on-point.

And if you really want to get attainability down, you'll want to grab a copy of my eBook (where I've got an entire chapter on learning how to be attainable and getting big part of attraction handled). In it, an incredibly comprehensive, 406-page how-to guidebook on picking up and getting together with girls, I break the process down step-by-step into the most minute details so you understand everything, and then I sum it all back up again in an easy-to-remember, easy-to-follow and dead simple to use process to get you getting wild success with the girls of your dreams today. If you haven't picked up your copy yet, you owe it to yourself to go here and download it right now:

See you next time,
Chase Amante

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Smit's picture

Man, I just can't stop reading some of these articles. It's like epiphany after epiphany.

I started reading about pickup about a year ago and it actually made things worse for me when it comes to women. I never had a hard time attracting women and friends but I just had a hard time actually going for their invitations without seeming desperate so I usually acted like I wasn't interested. Something I learned when I moved around a lot as a kid.

I met this cool girl about six months ago. It went really fast and I liked her a lot and she was really into me. The sex was amazing, same interests, same background. I just went overboard on the unattainability part, somehow thinking I had to be someone else to attract her to me, which she already was. All this pickup theory going through my head After a while she just couldn't believe I was into her. All the teasing, not relating to her, just being an asshole on purpose. I'll spare you the details but it was a lot of drama which in my eyes was unnecessary. In hindsight I can see that acting like you're too unattainable is really destructive. Not only with women but also with making friends.

She's gone now. It still stings a bit. Not because I feel that she was "the one" but I regret not seeing where things could have ended up. Wish I had read this sooner though but I can already see some of these principles working for me when it comes to women. Lesson learned...thanks for sharing this.

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