Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.
This year I’ve been busy; really busy. I perform standup seven nights a week, I’m in law school, and I’m a powerlifter. This shortage of spare time has meant I’ve had to change how I approach getting new women in my life.
I’m sure being busy is something that many of you can relate to. That’s why I’ve written this post, which will tell you the best ways to integrate meeting beautiful women into your busy schedule.
You’re with a group of three girls you’ve just met at a nightclub, and you’ve really hit it off with one of the girls, this girl Ava. She’s cute, perky, and a whole lot of fun.
Suddenly, you’re yanked out of an engrossed conversation with Ava by a fracas nearby; one of the other girls in the group, Miria, is shouting at one of the nightclub’s bouncers.
First the other friend jumps in.
Then your girl, Ava, jumps in too.
You hang on the sidelines, unsure what to do.
You could feel it’d been going pretty well with Ava, and you thought you stood a pretty solid chance to pull her home tonight.
The argument between the girls and the bouncer end, with the bouncer telling Ava and the other friend that they need to keep Miria on a leash or he’s going to boot them out.
Ava and the two girls debate among each other, emotionally fraught. Finally, Ava turns back to you and says, “Sorry, I think we’re just going to leave.”
“It’s okay, I understand,” you say calmly. You aren’t sure exactly how to react, but you decide to play it cool and do your best to look unfazed. “Let’s trade cells so we can connect later on.”
“I’m really not in trading-numbers mood right now,” she says, “Sorry. I just want to go home.”
Then, she turns away, and her and her two friends take off.
Them’s the shakes, right?
Could it have gone any differently?
It could have – had you paced her reality, instead of freezing in the headlights.
I hear too much garbage in the pickup community from guys who do not know what they are talking about in regards to game; too many beginners with good marketing skills, charlatans who want your money, or guys with good skill but who do not understand what it is they are doing that is actually helping them out and pointing at some obscure technique they think is the one true key to success. Well this is the no bars guide to what will get you good with women in the shortest period of time.
What I am going to review here is once and for all what will and will not help you. And once we know what is helpful diving into each point, you may better harness your learning curve and make massive gains in regards to your abilities with women.
I have found each of these present in everyone with massive success with women, and if you take them seriously you too can have the same skills as even the most wildly talented seducers.
Are you interested? Are you on the edge of your seat? I hope so. Now, what should you focus on and what will waste your time?
Hi there. I hope everyone is doing well. Today we are focusing more on some theoretical stuff and less on beginner material.
This post is fit for everyone practicing cold approach pick up (the most exciting form of pick up, in my opinion).
I have in the past already discussed social momentum quite a few times already. Today we will also discuss momentum, but look at it from a different perspective: from a macro perspective.
Social momentum (micro) - discussed previously - covered how you felt; your emotional state when out meeting women. Positive social momentum could help one get laid, as he will not only feel more like interacting with strangers, but also be more comfortable doing so. When you have (micro) social momentum, you feel like an unbeatable god, as you:
Approach more women, feeling on fire
Have bigger balls and are bold in your approach, as you don't really care all that much about rejections
You will in many cases be more high energy and hook more girls (as you will come across as more exciting) - the pitfall here is that you will have to tone it down when getting into "seduction mode" (unless you want to end up being perceived as a dancing monkey)
You will feel more confident
If you have been out in the field a few times, you have probably already reached this type of momentum. I will not cover "how you get there" in this post, as I have covered this aspect already a few times. If you need advice on how to reach social momentum, then check out these post:
Yesterday I responded to a post on our forum about succeeding with girls in the 19- to 23-years-old range from a guy in his mid-30s who noted he does fine with women over 23 but struggles to get anywhere with younger gals. I wanted to flesh this one out a bit more and make it a proper post.
If you’ve been following the site for a while, you probably remember I tackled younger women in this post, about three years ago (has it been that long? Wow...):
“Attracting and Dating Younger Women”
However, that was a more involved post, with a lot of research, psychology, explanation, and discussion of not only the initial seduction but the ongoing relationship too.
This post will be a more tactical one, and one specifically aimed at how to pick up younger women, particularly in the late teens / early 20s age range that’s so easy for some guys... and so problematic for others.
This is Part II of my introductory series on how I went from being a lonely fat guy
to a guy who now enjoys all the success with women he wants. If you
have not read the first article yet, I urge you to read that one, then
come back here.
There were highs and there were definitely even more lows during my
journey to mastering the skill to attract women into my life. It would
be impossible to count how many times I got shot down. No matter what
results I was getting, I believed deep inside that this was a skill I
could learn. You have to believe the
same of yourself.
There are studies on people that either have a growth or a limiting mindset. If you do not believe in your own ability to grow and change yourself, then you will miss out on lessons and opportunities to do so.
One thing I did right with learning how to pick up women was that I took everything one step at a time. I must have spent nearly a year just learning how to approach women and start a conversation while managing my fears.
From there I was constantly working on building attraction with my body language and conversation. I worked on that for another couple of years. Every part of interacting with and attracting women I learned one piece at a time. It is very easy to get overwhelmed with this stuff.
On this site alone you have all the resources you need to learn everything from approaching girls cold, to making meaningful relationships. However, depending on where you are at specifically, it doesn’t help to skip ahead.
There was a quite wonderful article in the New York Times the other day about the use of storytelling and narratives.
In the piece, “What Happens When Baseball-Stats Nerds Run a Pro Team?”, the authors reveal their discovery that simply conveying bare factual information ultimately proved less inspiring – despite its accuracy – and that when they began to spin a narrative around the reasons for their actions, players took this more to heart, put their emotions into the game, and started winning.
There’s a great parallel here with talking to girls, too: because if all you’re doing is conveying facts, you’ll struggle to get buy-in, pleasure, excitement, and attention... even if your facts are the best facts in the business.
As you know all too well if you read this site regularly, emotions are a woman’s bread and butter: she doesn’t want to know your details.
She wants to feel something. Facts don’t do this for her. Stories do.
If you can make her feel those up and down emotions, that thrill, and that excitement, she is as good as yours.
A miserable fat
guy, invisible to women. That pretty much summed me
up 9 years ago (on the left). Sure, I was a “good guy” at heart, but I
lived my life from the sidelines.
I will never forget the god-awful rotten feeling I had inside when I saw a guy around my age (21 at the time) driving next to me with a cute young blonde girl in his car. “How the hell did he get that girl?” quickly turned into “What the heck is wrong with me?”.
I want to share with you my journey that took me from being that fat lonely guy, to teaching guys how to meet women for a living. Even more important, I changed myself into a man I am proud to be.
I learned a lot of insanely valuable lessons on my journey and did more things wrong than I did right. In these articles I’m going to tell you what worked and what didn’t so you can have an awesome life filled with options with hot girls.
I want you to be able to avoid the mistakes I made and capitalize on my good decisions so you can achieve your goals with women in the shortest amount of time possible, with the LEAST amount of work.
Buckle up and get ready for a wild ride...
I’ve seen a sickness in men, and it is chucking out validation like bread at the duck pond.
Here, I’ll show you what I mean.
Let’s say you compliment a girl, and she refuses it. Like so:
You: Your hair is spectacular.
Her: Oh, actually I haven’t even combed it today, haha.
What do you say next?
If you’re like most guys, you let girls off the hook with something along the lines of:
You: Well you can’t even tell. It looks awesome.
Or, let’s say you text a girl, ask her out, yet she declines (in a nice way). Like:
You: Andie, let’s go to this wine tasting they’re having Thursday night!
Her: Oh no, I sooo want to go, but my parents are in town this week! I have to spend time with them!
How do you respond? If you’re like most guys, it’s something like:
You: Oh man, well, I’ll miss you, but have fun with your parents!
Do you sense anything slightly wrong with these responses?
Is there an almost indecipherable air of excess ‘niceness’ in them?
That excess niceness you’re picking up on is validation – and letting her off the hook.
I saw a girl on the subway a few weeks ago. She was pretty, she had a scarf, and she was standing next to me. I open her by saying, “Nice scarf,” and she responded ,“You too.” We got to talking, the conversation was fun, but I could tell she was in her head. So what do I do? I recite a poem from my favorite West African poet.
Now I don’t know any West African poets, nor do I know any West African poems, and I definitely don’t speak Swahili, but I thought I would have fun and experiment with this interaction. So I recite a poem in a made up language on the spot and then translate it. She was blown away; her face was like “Did that really just happen?”, and when I told her that I had made all of that up, she burst into a huge fit of laughter. All of a sudden, she was out of her head and into the interaction. I would have never tried something like that if I hadn’t learned it in improv class the day before.
Now I am not saying reciting poems to girls in gibberish is the answer. What I am saying is that there are a lot of principles in improv that you can apply to seduction. This post will start with some of the philosophical underpinnings of improv that will help you with game, and then I will write about some exercises that you can do infield to warm up.
