Physical escalation is how you take things from platonic to sexually loaded and heaving with desire and anticipation with a girl, often in a short span of time. Escalation is often all the difference between being a girl’s friendly guy pal and being her lover.
We’ve covered physical escalation in various forms on this site before:
... however, what I want to focus on in today’s article is a comprehensive look at physical escalation in an interaction with a girl, while out, say, in a bar or on a date. How do you get her aroused, horny, and sexually excited in public with you?
That’s the question I’m answering today.
Put simply, physical escalation is all about touching girls. In the seduction community this has been known as “kino” (short for kinesthetic).
Most people associate physical escalation with “making women horny”. There is no doubt that touching and creating a physical connection with a sweet girl is a good way to make her horny. Think about it, doesn’t a touch (especially around intimate areas) make you horny? The same things go for girls.
But this is just one aspect of what we’ll talk about today. Physical escalation is much more than just this.
Escalating the Vibe
Physical escalation, in addition to arousing women, can also work as a
tool to escalate the vibe. You must escalate the vibe - the energy
or emotion between you and her - in order
to have sex with a girl.
Let’s say you met a sweet girl in a bar. You still don’t know each other, and, at the moment, you’re just both talking about some silly stuff (or maybe even better, you are flirting or talking about sex?). Either way, having sexual intercourse with this woman you’ve just met still feels light-years away; in fact, you’ve only just learned her name.
First of all, it is not necessarily true that the distance in time from a random social interaction to having sexual intercourse with a person is always all that long, even if it might feel that way. Many times the vibe can change from social to sexual within minutes, sometimes an hour or within multiple days.
But most of the time it can happen quicker than expected.
The reason is simply that we humans all love sex - women too. If that weren’t the case, most of the men reading this article would most likely not be reading this article because you would never have been born... because your parents wouldn’t have had sex. Sex is a biological necessity sought by both women and men, without which we’d be unable to secure our survival (without taking into consideration assisted pregnancy, etc. – impractical at a global scale and for anyone who isn’t relatively well-off).
If a woman is into you and you escalate properly, sex will most likely happen. You might get some resistance, but don’t worry we will get to that in a later post.
But in order to make intercourse happen, you need to lead the interaction from a social one into a sexual one – you need to escalate the vibe. Physical escalation is one of the many tools that can help you to do this.
As we discussed in my article on sex talk, the frame you’ve set (i.e., the underlying meaning of the interaction) will affect a woman’s perception of you. If she perceives as a friendly man (a potential male friend?), she will most likely treat you like one.
However, when she starts perceiving you as a sexual man (a lover), the chances that you will have sex with her increases drastically, because sex becomes something expected from you.
When you touch a woman, and behave in a sexual manner (leading the interaction from a social one to a sexual one with a lot of confidence) it automatically makes her perceive you as a sexual man – which is a good thing.
Creating a Physical Connection
This is probably the most underrated aspect of escalation. When you escalate physically, you also make women comfortable being physical around/with you. How can a girl be comfortable with having sex with you if she hasn’t even touched you (or you touched her)? Again, it all comes down to escalating the vibe (i.e., progressively building up the vibe step-by-step from social to sexual).
But when you escalate, you also create momentum – you make her feel that there is something special going on between you and her. This makes her more comfortable about you being physical with her, as she sees potential in you as a lover.
But enough theorizing. Let’s get to the practical stuff.
What steps are involved in conducting a physical escalation with a new woman you’ve just met? I’ve broken the process down into a the steps below for you to follow the next time you’re out meeting girls.
Start Early On
In order to escalate the vibe, you need to start somewhere. Of course, when you are about to get physical with a lady you’ve just met, you will start out lightly (maybe just touch her shoulder once in a while). What is important is to start getting physical with a girl as soon as possible.
The more you interact, the more you flirt, the longer
you wait before starting to touch her, the more the nervous you will
become to actually do it. The idea of touching her will just
awkward to you, and you might
even chicken out (and not get laid). But
it will also affect her, as it will make her more nervous when you
touch her. This is because she now perceives you as a man “who doesn’t
escalate physically”, which will affect her expectations for how things
proceed. She will
perceive you as an a-sexual man.
Sex is not expected from you, and once you start touching her (after having waited for, let us say, two hours?) it will only be awkward for her, and she will most likely put up some resistance. In the worst-case scenario, she might even put you in the friend zone.
There is one exception to this rule, which is that you can wait with the touching if you manage to make her horny and set a sexual frame by using sex talk. But still, better be safe than sorry: always start escalating as fast possible, even if it is just you touching her shoulder – you’ve got to start somewhere, anyway.
Follow a Ladder – Escalate the Vibe
Again, you want to progress from a social vibe into a sexual one. But in most cases, you cannot just jump from a social vibe into a sexual one simply by doing one bold move. Single bold moves done out of the blue typically merely create resistance (and sometimes even progress into a rejection).
What we therefore want to do is to climb a ladder – escalating the vibe step by step. The process can be explained as making small moves and increasing the sexual-ness of the escalation according to her reactions. Here it’s key to keep your eyes open and observe her reactions.
You take one step forward if and only if she reacts positively to your moves. If the vibe she gives you is negative or neutral, watch your moves and put your escalation on hold until the vibe gets better.
You might also, if you don’t get the desired effect, take a step back and even create more attraction before moving on.
The whole purpose is to climb the ladder according to her level of interest. In my report about last minute resistance, I shared a few escalation ladders. The idea with these is to move from touching areas of her body that are socially acceptable to touch into touching more and more intimate areas. Here is an example of an escalation ladder that you can use:
Her upper arms and shoulder first…
Her belly next
Then down to her hips
Get closer to her butt (here, I recommend you to only touch the side of her cheeks – don’t touch her behind directly, you might come across as creepy, especially if you haven’t gotten a clear green light from her that such a move is okay)
Her hips again
And her belly (when you reach this point, you can isolate your girl by taking her home, or you may stay where you are and proceed further – up to you)
To the area around her breasts
Then sliding your hands down to her belly
To her hips again
Finally to her pubic area (but don’t touch her vagina until you are fully isolated at the seduction location)
Again, this is just an example; you might change the ladder to your specific situation. Remember, you don’t have to escalate all the way at the meet-location (like at the club, if you’re meeting girls in nightclubs). You can escalate halfway (up to, for example, step 5), and then go for a kiss in order to drag her back home. When home at her place, you should start doing the escalation ladder all over again (from the beginning) because some momentum will be lost during the pull (like during the taxi trip). Once at the seduction location though, you will of course go all the way.
When it comes to mating, we men are the dominant ones. This means that we are supposed to lead women through the interaction. However, no girl would like to be led by a men who is insecure, who doesn’t know what he is doing or who is hesitating on his moves. Think about it: would you skydive with an instructor who was afraid of doing the jump and seemed to not know what he was doing? I certainly wouldn’t jump with him.
The same thing goes for seduction, and especially escalation. If you escalate with confidence, you’ll find it will always go smoother for you. It’ll remove a lot of her resistance, and it will make her comfortable being around you. These are all good things. Nothing is sexier than a dominant man who leads the interaction with confidence.
Here are some advice:
Never hesitate. Have a plan. If you don’t have one ( your are not sure what your next move is) just do something (touch her belly or whatever). The results will always be better when you touch the wrong part at the wrong time, rather than when you hesitate. You also risk touching the right part at the right time. Yes, you need to be a man and take some risks.
Don’t observe your hands when you touch her. It’s anti-social and not sexy. Don’t do it.
Never have submissive body language when you escalate. Have straight body posture and never look down (unless you lost your phone on the ground). Have your chest a little out in order to express confidence.
Assume attraction. Assume that she digs it when you escalate on her. This will make you communicate much more confidence when you escalate. PS: as a matter of fact, women love getting touched by men (but only when those men touch them the right way).
Different Escalation Tools
I would like to quickly cover the different tools that you can use when you escalate.
Touch: the most standard escalation tool. Touch is often done with the use of your hands, which you will use to touch the different areas of a girl’s body. There are three ways you can use your hands:
The first of these is by softly caressing different areas of her body (like caressing her shoulders) – this works well for creating comfort and making her feel comfortable with you being physical with her (i.e., work wonder if you sense that she is a little uncomfortable).
The next way is by sliding your hands over different areas of her body – which is a rather neutral move that has a very versatile effect.
The third type of move you have is “the grab”, where you grab different areas of her body (such as her rump or hips). This last move is a very dominant move and is a little risky, but can be very useful at the end of your escalation ladder.
Eye contact: very powerful. Look at her deep in the eyes and feel her horniness increase. I usually select one of her eyes and stare into it. But once she breaks eye contact (because she can’t really handle the tension), you should break it too (in order to not come across as the creepy staring guy). However, one rule of thumb is to NEVER break eye contact first. It will make you come across as insecure and submissive. Most women find this unattractive, for obvious reasons.
Cutting spaces: an underrated tool. Once you interact with a girl, slowly but surely cut the spaces between the two of you. You do so by once in a while moving one step closer to her. After a while, your whole bodies should be touching each other (which is hot).
Kissing: kissing is hot, but let me warn you about kissing. Women find kissing fun and they might kiss you just for that reason. It often means nothing to them. Sometimes I think it is much better to not kiss, just to let her wonder why you haven’t kissed her. Sometimes, however, I think kissing works great just to push things a little further (to escalate the vibe and break a physical barrier). Never overdo it, though. Most men have a tendency to kiss too much. This will bore her out. Do you want her to associate your kisses with boredom?
Biting and sucking: simply awesome. After having broken multiple physical barriers and having escalated the vibe up quite a bit (maybe even kissed her) you can suck and lick her neck and ears (not every girl likes it when a man plays with her ears, though – just a little warning).
You avoid getting resistance in the form of anti-slut defence (which is a reputation defence mechanism women employ to protect against being labelled as a “slut” when they behave in a sexual manner) by isolating (i.e., getting her away from her friends and getting to be alone with her).
The fewer people there are
around her, the more she will allow you to escalate.
Before doing any sexual moves (such as doing something intimate), you should isolate her. Once isolated, the chances that she will accept your sexual moves become much bigger.
Close When the Iron is Hot
Once she is hot (i.e., horny), get her to a seduction location and sleep with her. I can’t count how many times I have ruined it by not following this rule. Women are led by their emotions, and when you escalate, you generate horniness. As horniness is a type of emotion, it can change at ANY time – especially if you are in an environment, such as in a club, where there are a lot of mental stimuli going on.
Therefore, you need to go for it once you feel it’s on, else you might risk her mood changing or her getting bored (because she is horny and you didn’t take the next step).
Physical escalation is one of the most crucial ways to get women in bed. Not only does it make girls horny, but it also creates a perception of you as a lover in her eyes – which we by now know increases the chances of getting laid.
Women love getting touched, but they only love this with the right man: the man who knows what he is doing. This post has shared multiple tools that will help you to be that man in your future adventures. Here is a short recap:
Start early on – get her used to your touch.
Follow a ladder – escalate the vibe by increasing the sexual intent with step-by-step moves. Your goal is to lead the interaction from a social to a sexual one.
Confidence – when you are confident and you know what you are doing, the escalation will go much smoother
Escalation tools – you can touch, use eye contact, kiss, cut spaces and bite and suck.
Isolation – when isolated, women will be more open toward you and more likely to accept your moves. Sexually loaded moves should be done while isolated.
Close when the iron is hot – later is maybe too late.
That was it. Now, many of you might face certain other difficulties, such as resistance when you escalate (i.e., her reacting negatively or in a cold way to your moves) but do not worry, I will be dedicating my next post precisely to this problem.
I hope you enjoyed this article. Feel free to write a comment or ask questions.