These are questions millions of men scratch their head over every day… should you touch her on the date, and if so, how much?
Will she think you’re creepy if you touch her too much… and how much IS too much?
Will she think you’re a shy wimp if you don’t touch her enough… and how much IS enough?
Let’s have a look at what science has to say on how to touch women… what happens to a woman physiologically when you touch her, what kinds of hormones get released and how does this affect the way she will FEEL about YOU?
Basics of Touch: Touching Her Skin
Ever heard of oxytocin?
The Wise Wikipedia says that oxytocin is “a mammalian hormone, best known for its roles in sexual reproduction.” That’s good news… because mammals… hey, that’s US!
You’ve probably guessed it by now… touching somebody, skin-to-skin, causes oxytocin to be released. That’s more good news, for a few reasons:
- Oxytocin increases a woman’s testosterone levels, which is responsible for the human sex drive (yes, also in women)
- Oxytocin is also the biochemical agent that triggers bonding feelings
- Oxytocin is a natural feel-good drug. In fact, all emotions are biochemical processes, and very addictive ones at that.
Ever notice how you feel a sudden sexual tingling when you accidentally brush your skin against a girl in the subway... even if you haven't even seen her yet, or if you hadn’t felt attracted to her before?
Voilá… That’s oxytocin at work.
Mother Nature has even more good news: women respond much more strongly to oxytocin, because this process requires estrogen to function… and women have MUCH more estrogen than men do.
Touching women... even lightly... can make them think about you differently, or even get aroused. It can build electricity between the a woman and you and trigger that primitive part of her brain… and bring naughty images to her mind.
What’s more, once oxytocin is released into the blood stream, it creates the desire to be touched even more… which will then lead to even more oxytocin being produced, and so forth… it’s a loop that feeds on itself and spirals the desire higher and higher!
This is also why touching is an essential ingredient if you want to turn a friend into a lover (if you really want to learn how to do this, read the article about “How to Get Out of the Friend Zone” here).
Finally, oxytocin also plays a huge role part in building trust, and even in the bonding process. In fact, oxytocin is the very reason for motherly love – which many consider to be the strongest and purest form of love.
Basics of Touch: Touching Her Clothes
So if it’s all about skin-to-skin contact… does that mean that touching her on her clothes is pretty much useless?
The answer is that it won’t create the same biochemical response and arousal – but when given a choice of not touching her at all or touching her clothes, always go for the latter. This has a few benefits:
- It establishes that you’re a comfortable touching people (just make sure that you don’t touch ONLY beautiful girls… that might come across as creepy).
- It establishes your physical dominance – you’re invading her space and exerting control.
You can observe that when a politician greets somebody and shakes their hand, he will often try to touch their elbow with their free hand.
You can touch the small of her back when she walks through the door, even if her clothes cover her skin – this still establishes a leading dynamic. And in courtship, much like in dancing, the man is expected to take the lead.
- It establishes rapport – if you touch somebody you’ve only just met the way you would touch an old friend, it will quickly seem like you've known them forever –to bystanders as well as to the girl you’re talking to.
Touching Women Right: Light Touching
Another piece of advice on how to touch women right - let your touch be gentle, macho man.
Imagine a feather lightly brushing along her skin, giving her tingling sensations and goose bumps… a light touch is often better. Quick light taps on the back of her hand, or a brief touch when there is laughter.
At other times, you want to physically take control of her with a strong lead; you might suddenly press her against a wall to make out with her, for example – mix it up!
Something even more powerful: many women have very thin, almost invisible hair on their skin… If you can brush this hair with your skin, without actually touching her, this will trigger a lot of HIGHLY sensitive nerve endings.
Breathe down her neck to achieve this same effect… once you're making out, you can even lick her skin, then blow some warm air on the moist spot - and the evaporating saliva will send chills up and down her spine!
How to Touch Women Like a Pro: Advanced Touching
If you’re already more advanced, there is something else you can do… and that is to NOT touch her a lot early on.
That’s right… if she can tell that you’re at ease with the situation, and that you COULD easily touch her but simply choose NOT to, just because you enjoy teasing her… this can build up powerful emotional response potential in her.
It’s what I usually do these days, and it can help to build a tremendous amount of sexual tension. You can even come close to her and ALMOST touch her… but then pull back again.
What’s women’s FAVORITE word when it comes to sex?
If you said “anticipation”… you’re on the money.
That said, don’t hold back too long, because eventually you will have to touch her.
No touching, no sex… I think we can all agree that this is sound logic. :)
You want to smoothly lead into the physical escalation, and not have it be an abrupt transition, so you will probably have to start touching her some time before you make your big move.
But keep your first touches very light, or refrain from touching her at all, to build that anticipation and sexual tension.
If you haven’t played much with anticipation before, you’ll be amazed how much it drives women absolutely wild with desire. But that’s exactly what it does - it turns them into burning, half-crazed lust MACHINES who can’t wait to quench their thirst... for YOU.
Onward and upward,