How to Date (and Sleep with!) Religious Girls

date religious girlsReligion is a touchy subject for many.

And in terms of seduction, it can make even the most able of seducers confused and frustrated.

But the thing about religious girls, just like feminists, “perfect 10s,” models or any other out of the ordinary girl is that at the end of the day – they are still just girls.

They still want to be loved and have amazing sex and be led by a dominant man.

But if they are religious, they are told that they shouldn’t want the sex part; which creates a varied spectrum of life decisions depending on how devout a particular female is.

So, today, I’m going to discuss this spectrum, and how to deal with taking religious girls to bed… and what to expect if you choose to date them.

date religious girls

Let me say now that I completely respect women of faith (just as I respect all women). They can be some of the most stable, caring and supportive girls you could possibly be with. And this post isn’t about tricking them, undermining them, or otherwise trying to spite or insult their beliefs.

It’s rather about giving 98% of them what they truly want, but have been conditioned to think they don’t want or need.

And if you are able to give it them… the results are always rewarding.

Just like your family, for most people, religion is something you don’t choose. You just grow up being taught and influenced by a certain set of rules and beliefs. By the time you’re of the age to question things, you’ve already been conditioned with many deep-seated beliefs that you may not even realize.

I grew up in a spiritual family, but one that doesn’t necessarily believe in organized religion, which I think was a rare happy medium for me as a child. But I’ve gone to churches, synagogues, temples and pretty much any other spiritual building you could imagine; I do appreciate the deep lessons of a spiritual experience.

However, many people feel that they have religion forced upon them. And just as in physics, if something is hit with a force, it will react with an equal and opposite force. So when people become more exposed to other social influences like school and clubs, they start seeing the possibility of rebelling against their upbringing.

This can be true especially for women. This is not always the case of course, but there is a special pressure put on religious young women to save themselves until marriage. And with the sexual drive contained and repressed in each and every woman… this can create a very big problem. Women start to see what they could have, and start branching out as their families have a weaker and weaker influence on their thinking.

The Turning Point

As you steadily improve your skills with women, and cultivate yourself as a stylish and powerful man, your standards for women who you will consider for long term relationships will steadily increase.

Before I took to improving my own skills, I had been in a few serious relationships. And I would say that all but one of them were with girls that were high-value even for my standards today. But what I didn’t take time to reflect on until years later was the fact that every girl I’ve been in a serious relationship with was religious. Very religious.

What I also didn’t take time to think about was when I first met each of these girls, they were wholesome, timid, and just generally nice girls. But after I started getting physical with them on a few occasions, they would express their strong desire to have sex (always after some token resistance, coupled with a bit of guilt).

date religious girls

And after eventually taking them to bed, the same thing happened every time. They turned into the most wild and sexual women I’ve been with to this day. Far and away. And I mean not even close. (Actually, as a quick aside, one of these ex-girlfriends called me a couple of days ago, complaining about how the fire has gone out in her current relationship. And after two years, she has absolutely no desire to have sex. I was stunned. I used to do unspeakable things with this girl. So yeah, the 2-year drop, it’s a very real thing. And if you can’t give her amazing sex, watch out.)

And after taking some other religious girls to bed later down the line, and interacting with many more still, I learned that this is anything but an isolated trend.

Everybody needs a release every once in a while. And in the case of these women, their desires had been pressurizing for years, only to explode when they finally got their chance to let loose. I can only imagine that this makes the experience that much more intense for them. And when they realize what they’ve been missing out on for so long, a switch gets flipped and they can’t get enough.

And this doesn’t go only for religious girls, but for any girl who has been sexually repressed for most of her life.

But for my money, I think that the change in religious girls is the most drastic.

That being said, every girl has a sexual beast inside waiting to be unleashed; the question is: are you the man with the key?

There are certain responsibilities that come with this role in the life of a religious woman. What you must understand in order to be successful are the different types of religious girls, and how each one will affect your life.

date religious girls

Just like with women in general, there’s no “one size fits all” model with religious girls. And the type that you encounter will greatly influence how you go about interacting with her and creating a sexual relationship.

The following is a spectrum of religious girls that I’ve laid out, from least pious to most intensely devout, and what to expect with each one.

#1: The Ordinary Girl

This is the run-of-the-mill girl who also happens to be religious. These are the girls who are very similar to non-religious girls. They may go to a religious institution and practice some sort of faith, but that doesn’t really come up in their day-to-day interactions. These girls still take on sexual relationships and party just like anyone else. They are happy to discuss their faith it if it comes up, but it’s never forced upon you.

Taking this girl to bed: Proceed with your process as usual, as you shouldn’t really see any hiccups that wouldn’t arise with any other girl.

Dating this girl: You should expect the same thing that you would expect out of any average girl. So rather than focusing on her religion, pay attention to things like time orientation and look for characteristics that are important to you.

#2: The Chill Girl Who Used to be Religious

These are the girls who had religion shoved down their throats for most of their life. They’ve decided that they see no personal value in their religion or may even object to specific aspects of their faith. Though these girls are still liberal, they are not quite as liberal as the ordinary girls because they’ll still have remnants of years of social conditioning in their brains.

Taking this girl to bed: The usual process will work here again, but these girls are internally looking for some confirmation and reward of their newfound liberal mindset. The easiest way to spot this girl is to deep dive her. I assure you that this will be one of the first things that come up if you are a proper conversationalist.

It’s important to demonstrate to these girls that you are a man who understands that the expectations that were asked of her were unrealistic, and that you completely accept and applaud the fact that she has decided to enjoy her life. Usually, joking about it or making a light comment is the most effective, as she is not looking for a serious debate, but a fun guy who gets bonus points for understanding her.

Dating this girl: These girls can be hard to date because they are often in the “catching up” mentality. They feel like they’ve been repressed for years, so they are often jumping from casual fling to casual fling to gain more experiences and close the gap. You have to be especially chill with this girl, and try to bed her and spend time with her without making any mention of wanting something more serious. Girls know what you’re doing, so if she elects to spend more time with you, there’s a potential for taking things further. But if not… alas, such is life.

#3: The Insecure Girl Who Used to be Religious

date religious girlsThese girls also had their faith shoved down their throat, but rather than break away and take it in stride, they feel guilty and worry about being judged for their decision. Leaving a school or quitting a job can be hard, but a religion really is a way of life. So some girls who don’t agree with their own personal faith can feel like they are betraying their family, community, and even part of their own identity.

Taking this girl to bed: These girls are definitely the most unstable in this spectrum. Sometimes they are happy with their decision, and to reassure themselves, they’ll go through periods of extreme promiscuity. And other times they’ll regret their decision, and go through periods of forced celibacy.

If you catch them during one of their “on” days/nights, they’ll be fun and flirtatious. And if you deep dive them about the things they believe in, they’ll usually use really strong negative language with regards to religion, like “I hate it” “I can’t believe anyone would fall for that” “I used to, but I was stupid then.” At this point you should deep dive further and find out whether she is an atheist or other type of religion-hater, or if there’s a different reason. Just asking, “Why do you feel that way?” will do the trick.

It’s also worth noting that you’ll rarely find these girls alone due to their emotional volatility. So I’ve had many an occasion where friends mention to me the state of one of these particular girls. The easiest way to bed them during these “on” moods is to move as fast as possible. They’ll be looking to get physical quickly and want an intense experience with no regrets.

If this girl is an “off” mood, she may flirt with you a bit, but she’ll be guilty and somewhat depressed, so either you will screen her out, or she will reject you when you try to move things forward.

Dating this girl: Dating this girl is inadvisable. Unless you want a whirlwind of emotion and the weight of her family and personal life on your head. And if you do, well, it’ll be your responsibility to essentially act as her “guide.” She’ll usually accept your date invites out of curiosity or the desire for validation. And if she does, she will be looking to you to give her wisdom on her life problems. This usually ends in her becoming very emotionally attached to you, or with her actually slowly friend-zoning you because she sees you as too valuable a confidante. This instability will only be combined with the fact that she’ll likely still be emotionally immature.

Either way, you’ll assume the role of her best friend, because she will either be alienated, or alienate most other people she had as friends. The one religious girl I dated seriously whom I did not consider high-value was one of these girls. It was one of the most difficult and draining periods of my entire life. Though, the solace that I did take was that eventually she recovered emotionally and became quite stable. But this took years, many overly emotional nights, a little therapy, and a lot of personal growth.

If you’re up for that all that… go for it.

#4: The Questioning Girl

This is the girl who is religious and still actively practices her faith… but is wondering. She often thinks about the many sexless relationships she’s had, and what might have been had she decided to take the plunge. She feels her sexual desires pressurizing, and is only more confused by how many girls around her talk about their sexual exploits and how amazing it is to do the deed.

Taking this girl to bed: This girl will certainly be a virgin. Unless you’re at a high-intermediate or advanced level, chances are you won’t bed this girl on the first night, or the first date (if that’s a different occasion). Your success will really depend on the circumstance. I’ve found that these girls don’t like “just hanging out” or cooking a meal, or anything that may lead to a quick escalation.

They like to be in control of the playing field. A typical chill date works best, but be ready to persist hard if you want to take things back to your place or her place. An alternative is just to hook up in an unusual place like a park or in an alley. She will be enticed by the excitement, and her automatic response will be shut down, so she’ll do what she actually wants. But this doesn’t always necessarily lead to sex. You can get sexual with her, but she will probably be pretty stalwart in making sure you don’t go further than she’s comfortable with. So if it doesn’t lead to bedding her, be chill about it, and live to fight another day.

As you move along this spectrum, the amount of time and resistance, as well as the amount patience on her part, steadily increase.

Though, I have talked to some guys, and had an occasion myself, who just kept persisting and persisting, slowly breaking down her defenses until she got what she knew she really wanted. But my skills were low at that point, so it took me a really long time, i.e. several hours of physicality. That’s right, hours. So it happens… but prepare for the long haul is you’re just starting out.

It’s also important that in setting a sexual frame, you be more chill and subtle about it. These girls can be easily scared away, so you want to focus more on building a connection while maintaining a subtle sexual frame. However, in certain cases you may not even find out she’s religious until you’ve moved her if you haven’t fleshed that out yet, so this one definitely has a gray area. But, it’s best to shoot first and ask questions later. If she gets scared away, all you did was screen out a girl who would’ve given you a headache.

Dating this girl: You should only officially date these girls after you’ve slept with them. If you do so before, they will be too used to the routine of not having sex with their boyfriend, and they will do the same to you, even if you are a strong man. That’s not to say that it’s impossible to bed her at this point; it’ll just be much more difficult.

Since they are questioning, they are looking for a strong man to pull them to the side of freedom, so if you can’t be that man…you’re just like everyone else. With this girl, it’s important to be unpredictable and devil may care (but too not over the top).

Assuming you confirm yourself as the strong, free man she needs and you handle things well in the bedroom, this girl will likely dote on you and be quite attached to you since you’re her first. So if you’re alright with this, then proceed.

In terms of the chill girl, insecure girl and questioning girl, you’ll find them most during the transitional points of young life. That means you will find them – far and away – most often in college, with some starting to bud in high school. Occasionally you’ll find some during a quarter-life crisis or even during middle school (for our teenage readers), with some outliers occurring later in life after certain milestones or tragic life events.

#5: The Faithful Girl

This is the girl who never misses any religious gathering at her temple. This is the girl who loves her family, is loyal to the community, and usually joins a fellowship group during high school and/or college and/or her professional life. To avoid the problems that various guys present, these girls try to actively avoid dating men who are not religious.

Occasionally they may not even date men who don’t believe in their exact religion. These girls can be any age, but they are usually married by their mid-20’s, so in terms of this article, you’ll probably only encounter them before that point (and if you happen to encounter them later than that point, they’ll be too set in their ways to change for one man).

Taking this girl to bed: These girls are also virgins, and have been saving themselves for marriage to the right man. But occasionally, the right, non-religious man does come along. However, this girl will be a master of resistance. She knows every trick in the book to avoid having sex. You can go on dates with her (in fact, you’ll have to go on at least one with her), you can escalate with her, but chances are you’ll be denied.

I will say now, don’t have sex with these girls if you don’t intend to be in a relationship with them. I know this site is about taking women to bed, but it’s also about not hurting girls. There are times when keeping it in your pants is far more advantageous. You could ruin this girl for life if you sleep with her and then disappear. And you could hurt her for a long while if you sleep with her and just try to make it causal.

The most effective way I’ve encountered to make this happen is to express how much you appreciate her, and how connected the two of you are, and how sex is that necessary final step. If you make sex only about the physical aspect, she will be offended and think you only want her body. If you make it about connection, then she will be moved.

But she will say no – which is to be expected. But you’ve brought out a thought that she’s probably already been having. And if you keep pushing harder every time you’re in the heat of the moment, she will eventually be overcome by her desires and her feelings for you that she will want to do it.

But how you manage things afterward is extremely important. She’s just made a very big decision on your account, so you need to make sure to reassure her with your words and your physical contact when all is said and done.

Dating this girl: If you’ve slept with her, then chances are you are already dating her or on the road to dating her. Since this girl is so strongly connected to the people in her world, you will now have to be a part of that world. You will to get to know her family, hang out with her friends, and she may even invite you to her church. In certain cases, since she’s already had sex with you and cares for you, she may even suggest getting married. It won’t always happen, but you should definitely be prepared for that possibility along with these other responsibilities.

The loopholes: Some girls are dead set on keeping their virginity, even if they have extremely high libidos. So I know plenty of girls who will do everything except vaginal penetration – which includes anal sex. And there are some still who will have “just the tip” sex, just to keep their hymen intact and still technically be virgins by religious standards. Some guys are up for this sort of thing, others aren’t – depends on your preference. But this just goes to show the intensity of the battle between a girl’s faith and her sexual needs.

#6: The Intensely Devout Girl

These are the girls who may as well be wearing a chastity belt. They have all of the features of the faithful girl, but may consider actually joining the church, and actively try to recruit people to their faith. It is extremely unlikely that they will marry someone outside of their religion. Which means that it is very unlikely that they will date someone outside of their religion.

date religious girls

Taking this girl to bed: This would be truly a feat. It’s not impossible, because they are still women, but you would have to be in it for long haul. Everything that this girl stands for in her life revolves around her religion, so you would have to be at the top of your game, be extremely patient, a little lucky, and give her the pleasure of a lifetime.

But in my opinion, the risk is too high. I dated a girl who was intensely religious for a few months. After we had broken up, one day I asked her what would’ve happened if we had dated for a year. Her reply was: “I would’ve probably slept with you and hated you forever.” ‘Nuff said. If you do pull it off, unless you’re ready to essentially marry this girl, you’re gonna be in for a world of hurt. And she’ll be significantly damaged as well.

Dating this girl: The prospects of dating these girls are good, if you’re okay with no sex until the point you do or don’t decide to marry her. You can take things slower than usual (while remaining sexual) since things won’t reach their biological conclusion anyway. If you are all right with that, then go for it.

What If You are Deeply Religious Too?

I’ve seen this situation multiple times in the past. Two religious people who have both been saving themselves start dating. And I’ve seen the results end up all over the map. In some cases, they rush into marriage for the sake of sex, and then end up regretting being with the wrong person because their infatuation led them astray. At that point they go through an embarrassing divorce that anyone with any sense could’ve seen coming.

I’ve seen other people use the sex loopholes to fulfill themselves until the relationship ran its course. I’ve seen others still get married and actually form a rather happy and healthy bond.

But what I have never seen, strangely enough, is two very religious people have sex before marriage. I’ve only seen tortured souls jump through a million hoops just to avoid getting each other in the sack. Or maybe they’re just really good at keeping secrets.

In any case, I definitely have a certain respect for the power of will of these individuals. Though, I do feel bad because they are denying themselves the very thing that we were put on this Earth to do. And I think they realize it every time they try to find a creative way to fulfill their needs.

But if you are a religious man, I have no right to judge you. If the life of celibacy is the life you chose, then carry on, good sir. You have my respect. But I would just advise you not to marry a girl for the wrong reasons. Use the right head to make the decision.

Wrapping Up

I’ve given you the completely spectrum of religious girls that you will encounter during your manly escapades, and tips on dealing (or not dealing) with each one. This can be difficult territory to navigate, especially if you’ve never done it before. But you will be giving many girls the liberation and freedom that they’ve sought for most of their lives.

Just be sure trust your instincts; they will usually give you a green or red light based on a million other factors about a girl besides just her religion.

Because after all… they are still just girls.

Carpe diem,


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Anonymous's picture

Great timing :)

Hey Colt.

I've actually been introduced a week or two back by a friend of mine to his cousin who has recently been baptized and stuff. I'm not really sure in which category she falls under, but she's the "God this and God that" typa girl who sometimes acts a bit like The Insecure Girl Who Used to be Religious. She attends a lot of church-related events and likes to refer to the Bible in any given situation and in many things I've said to her. She's 16. On first meet, we chilled in a car parked outside their yard for about an hour or so talking and laughing openly about her past where she consistently compared me to the casanovas she's been with before the time of her baptism. Our conversation got to a point where she'd literally feel disappointed that I wouldn't let on about my past as she has - it got mildly awkward and uncomfortable so I decided to up and leave.

The next day I got a call from this good friend of mine and he had the girl on the line. She asked me if she could see me before she leaves for school. During our conversation in the car I lied to her about my religious beliefs, in fact about a lot of things that'd manage to get her off my back about how God changed her life and how he could change mine too, anyway, She gave me a hug and saved her numbers on my phone. The following day Before I even thought about calling her, she shot me a rather mood-amplifying call to check up on me and see if I am doing well or whatelse, followed by two
sms/s: "I alwys thnk god abt u,i wl alwys cre abt u ohk,gd bls u.wl twk 2mrw aftr skwl" and "U jst trst in th lrd nd whn u r rdy 2 2wk u knw wt 2 do"... I've known her for two days at the time of the call and sms/s. What I have noted about her is that she takes love, sex and relationships way too seriously for her age, to a point of serious commitment and further marriage.

"I've danced the night way, been with a boy who'd beat the living daylights out of me" she'd remind me, "and yet here I am because of (guess who)" with an assuring smile on her face. She falls more into The Faithful Girl and The last time I spoke to her was on a Saturday evening when I told her that I won't be bumping into her on the provincial school trip to some science expo. (today) so she proposed that I pay her a visit whenever my schedule is free, (usually on weekends) instead.

What strikes me about this girl though, is her constant indulgence in my past sexual relationships. Questions like: do you believe in sex after marriage (in other words: are you still a virgin) or how many girls have you slept with and do you enjoy sex.

It makes me wonder what she wants to see me for.

Colt Williams's picture

Your Situation



Sorry the massive delay! But let's get to it.

As with most religious girls, this seems like a very complex situation. Let me start by saying that because this girl is so young, she probably felt 'used' or 'slutty' if she let herself fall for multiple seducers in her adolescent past.

It sounds like she does like you, but in the eyes of her religion and her community, she doesn't want to hook up with a guy just for the sake of sex. So when she asks those questions, she's sizing you up as a partner. She wants to hear something like "I've had sex with a couple of girls (or haven't had sex), but I strongly believe in sex only in marriage and with the right person." Then at that point, I think that if you tried to date this girl, it would probably work, but there would be a massive amount of resistance to sex. 1. Because of the experiences she's already had and 2. because of her perceived religious duty.

And if you did have sex, she'd probably feel very guilty about it afterward. Overall, unless you very deeply care about this girl, and are willing to make some huge sacrifices, I'd say spare yourself the trouble and find a girl who you can be honest with and vibes with the way you live your life.

All the best,


Anonymous's picture


Hey, i've been reading many articles on this site explaining the writers own views of life and was actually interested in knowing what yours or any other writers like Chase's view was in religeon and their your own beliefs.

Colt Williams's picture




I appreciate your curiosity! I am a deeply spiritual person, but don't strictly subscribe to any religion because I find a lot of problems and inconsistencies with specific religions. but I completely respect anyone else's sense of beliefs. I will probably talk about this more in-depth at some point, but I hope that's a good enough answer for now!


Craig17's picture


Soo my girl is in the fourth group, and I've gotten her to the point where she will say yes to sex with me. Her parents are pushing her hard not to tho, as well as her other religious friends. Since they noticed she had an interest, her parents are no longer allowing her to see me on any basis. What should i do in this situation? Its just that i was really into her and she really wanted me as well.
Thanks for any help.


Colt Williams's picture




That's a tough situation, I know how that goes.

Really there are only 2 things you can do.

Either 1. Let it go, and find a girl who wouldn't be so much trouble to bed.
or 2. You have to be much more secretive about when you meet her and make it clear that if you escalate to sex it'll be "your little secret" to her. If you manage to go with two, it will only heighten the experience for her when she sneaks off to meet up with you and sleep with her lover while maintaining her good girl image, which is really what every girl in our society wants.

Good luck sir,


savacheone's picture


Dear Colt,

Thanks for sharing a very insightful article. Before I start my queries, I'll share a bit about myself. I'm a Christian male, 28 yrs old and have a well-paying professional job. I live in an Asian city state which has girls of Chinese ethnicity as their majority, but is rich and modern. It is certainly considered a first world country by WTO standards. I serve in church and would say I'm relatively respected by my peers. However, I'm also sexually active and had several bed buddies which I've primarily sourced from internet dating sites (no one knows about this). The one barrier I've never been able to cross and will not cross is penetrative sex.

My query is simple: How do I convince and identify religious women (probably in category #4 and #5) in specifically an Asian country which (pretends) to have a conservative outlook and bed these hot Christian babes? I don’t even want penetrative sex with them- oral sex would make me a very happy man.

The real challenge here is that ladies in my country feel that their socially compelled to be chaste, unlike USA, where liberal sexuality is quite acceptable. I normally am able to strike up a conversation with these girls easily, either about religion or anything else. But when I deep-dive about religion, which I’m pretty good at, it sparks good conversation but probably dampens their sexual desire. Conversely, if my conversations are peppered with sexual suggestiveness, they roll their eyes and become somewhat defensive.

I would be grateful to hear your insights on my predicament.

Also, it would be great if one of the writers here could write about bedding girls from conservative countries. I do know that white men have an advantage bedding girls in my country though, but I want to know how we indigenous guys can achieve similar success.

Anonymous's picture

Are you from Singapore?

Are you from Singapore?

Anonymous's picture

Smart Dude!

Smart Dude!

Colt Williams's picture

Conservative Asian Women



I have been to this city-state of yours, and know exactly what you mean. I think the easiest way to handle your situation would be to A) focus on arranging a meet-up with them one-on-one where it would be easier to discuss sexual topics and B) frame your interactions as an "us against them" mentality as Alek did in his threesome article. Have a strong sexy vibe going, and make a comment about how women are taught to be conservative in your country, but you think it's unfair and limits the amount of great relationships that could happen.

And C) don't treat them with kid gloves. Obviously some women are conservative, but I've found that it's the conservative women who are most looking for a dominant man to sweep them off your feet, so try to be a little bit of a bad boy in their eyes, and that will illicit a strong reaction from women.

Finally, I suggest reading some of David Tian's stuff. His entire focus is on girls from your country, and I bet he could provide bucketloads more useful information that I could.

Good luck to you,


robertnyc's picture

Reformed bad girls

Another type of religious girl that I have encountered is the reformed bad girl. Usually these girls were wild in their teenage years and early 20's but became religious after sowing their wild oats. They now are pretty active in their churches but still dress provocatively and look pretty sexy. I can't tell if religion is a passing fad for them or why they got into it because it seems like sexuality is still simmering under the surface but they are holding themselves back.

Any tips on how to seduce thee reformed bad girls?

Colt Williams's picture

Read Below



Thanks for the comment; see my response to Anon below!



Anonymous's picture

Being religious

I was raised in a very religious family, I mean my grandparents are all clergies/children of clergies. I've seen a lot of strictness and experienced a lot of conflicts first-hand.

I'm 19 now and recently I saw my parents marriage go to ruins...
I think maybe...
it's because my parents rushed to marriage at a very young age when they were not marriage material for other needs...

my Grandad who is religious yet experienced, said to me that I should have casual encounters and tell girls I'm temporary marrying them for a night or a week (that's actually a thing i my relgion 'Shia Islam' btw!!)

Out of experience he saw that as a young man in the west I have such need to get laid, and he's right... and well I've been making life awesome.

I'm on holidays in Iran now, and have made a few approaches, funny thing... when most of these women realize I have western freedom-kind beliefs they are very open to me... I mean very open! (in italic)

About that last part in this article, I urge religious not to make the mistakes that I've seen have been made by religious people. Also increase the attention they give to their wife after marriage a lot!

Anonymous's picture

#7 Born Again

I agree with RobertNYC that there is another classification that is poorly lacking in this article, the girl who was average and then became very religious.

These girls are not virgins and have chosen their religion rather than being raised religious. Some were wild party girls before and others were just average with their own sense of morals but they all have a point in their life where they weren't happy and found religion which is now making their lives better (in their perspective). So now they behave similar to the Faithful and Intensely Devout Girl.

But figuring out how to proceed with these women is mind boggling. I have found myself trying to steer conversations towards their past, as it is easier to relate to, but it completely ignores who they are at the moment which falls short for building a connection. My intuition and experience tells me that these girls are not first nighters and desire more commitment (along the lines of a serious relationship) before going to bed, but once that commitment is there you don't have to wait for marriage.

Up to this point I usually give up before getting to bed with them because I don't feel that they are worth the work, but now I have found a girl that is worth the work and I don't want to screw it up. So any insights on how to proceed from this point?

We have had several hour long conversations and recently she invited me to church which turned into an enjoyable afternoon of hanging out and getting to know each other. Due to schedule conflicts we are planning something casual (hiking with unplanned hanging out afterwards) a few weeks from now. I will see her in the meantime, but probably not where we are one-on-one. Thanks in advance.

Colt Williams's picture

Reformed Bad Girls



it's actually interesting that you mention the reformed bad girl. I considered writing that up as another category, but decided that there wasn't enough difference between a couple of the other ones. But it looks like I was wrong!

I actually dated a reformed bad girl for quite a long time and it was one of the most fulfilling and one of the most challenging relationships I've ever had.

One the one hand, you can approach relations with them in a very sexual way. Since they have such a high sex drive, they will respond to your advances and will probably be some of the more passionate girls you can be with. But this will probably leave them feeling "set back" or "up to their old ways" and will make them very upset.

On the other hand, you could do it in a very traditional "let's chill and go on dates" kind of way. This gets them really excited about you as a person, but risks you losing that sexual "spark." This actually happened to me with my reformed bad girl. I took it really slow in the beginning because I respected her new lifestyle, and after a few dates, she told me that she had begun dating someone else.

We eventually got together (and I do mean eventually) but that was because I became 10x more sexual as a man.

But in the end, with reformed bad girls *you have to give them the whole package*. You have to be very sexual, but you have to frame it to them that your sexual desire comes from how much you value them as a person and not just as a body to have sex with. I would always tell my girl that I loved how curious she was, and how persistent she was with her goals, and a bunch of other things *in addition* to her being crazy sexy, and that I wanted her because she had the whole package.

And that always worked *perfectly*. You have to validate them as women and as religious girls. But I will tell you, this style takes a lot of your energy, and it's one that needs constant upkeep and maintenance. Basically you're going to have to do it a lot. But if you're up for that, go for it!

All the best,


Joelo's picture

Should I Agree?

I have been asking this female neighbor out. She is a Jehovah's Witness. For along time she resisted but later asked me if it will lead to marriage. I did not answer her. Should I go back and accept that it will? Actually, she is a virgin. All I want is to have sex with her.

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