Get Introduced to Girls and Play the Game on 'Easy Mode'


Various readers have asked variations on the following questions on this site before, and it's the question I'd like to address today:

If you want girls chasing you, how do you open? Isn't the very act of walking up to a girl and starting a conversation with her chasing itself?

The answer to that last question is "yes", you are chasing women at the outset of your interactions with them, at least a little bit, although if you know what you're doing, much of the time you can mollify the effects of this early chasing by coming in very smooth and somewhat aloof, and quickly changing the dynamic so that the girl herself is soon chasing you (which is a much more pleasant, exciting, and productive dynamic for both you and her than the alternative is).

However, there is one way to meet new women in which you can start out in the "chased" position, provided you are out with one or more friends who either know the women you want to meet already, or have a good handle on opening and being received well: that is, to get introduced.

get introduced

I've long made use of getting introduced to women both to my own advantage (to have girls falling into my lap) as well as to help out my friends or, sometimes, students, back when I used to train in-field (to throw girls into the friend's or student's lap).

This is one of those things that I rarely hear anyone talk about, and I'm not sure why, because it's like pick up on "easy mode."

And if you're not taking advantage of introductions... well, let's have a look at what you've been missing out on.


get introduced

Before we explore this topic, a brief caveat: if you want to maximize your success rates with women, you MUST learn to approach girls and open on your own.

No two ways about that; you need to be able to spark a new conversation on your own, with nobody else's help, if you want:

  • Versatility (meet women anytime, any place, whether you have a wingman or not)

  • Flexibility (you're not always relying on someone else doing the opening, but can be the guy doing the opening and helping out friends, too)

  • Solid game (you're simply never going to get enough introductions to get enough practice meeting women to get good)

I've known a few very good looking men who used introductions as their only avenue to meet women, but they were somewhat constrained by whether they were in an environment where they knew people who could provide introductions.

It's also possible to construct an environment in which you get introduced to lots of new women naturally - being a DJ, a singer, a bartender, a hotel or hostel owner, or a number of other things can, if set up properly, lead to people constantly saying, "Hey Rand, this is Katie, she's staying at the hostel through next Monday."

Most of the time though, you will be on your own, so don't neglect learning to approach by becoming overly reliant on introductions... because they can be a tempting and powerful crutch to lean on, but if you lean on them too much, you'll atrophy.


Why Introductions Work So Well

If you have a bit of innate (or learned) social instinct, you know very well that when you are the initiator of a conversation with a girl, you're the one who starts off as the pursuer, and she's the one who starts off as the pursued.

Now, it's very possible for this dynamic to shift throughout the course of an interaction - or even earlier, when using opening techniques like slow opening to get her to (sometimes) re-initiate and start you both off on equal footing, or pre-opening to make the question of "Who's chasing whom?" more ambiguous - but you're never better than her peer going in.

If you appear significantly higher value than her, she can even end up wondering, "Why is he talking to me, and not to some prettier girl? Is this a joke at my expense, or does he have some problem or flaw that I can't see that makes him actually a lot less desirable than I am?" and auto-reject you on the opening. These are the girls you introduce yourself to, only to get an immediate blow out, despite the fact that you'd normally consider them subpar to the kind of women you date.

Enter the introduction.

When you get introduced to a girl, it's a whole 'nother ballpark.

get introduced

What happens in an introduction is that someone else has already initiated the conversation with a girl, and at some point then introduces you and her. Sounds simple enough.

When the introduction takes place, however, there is a subtle dance to determine who is more interested in meeting whom, and, thus, who is the pursuer, and who is the pursued.

If your fundamentals are solid and you have presence, when she first meets you, you can structure the introduction such that she feels right away as if she's chasing you.

If you're unfamiliar with doing this, think back to being introduced to a very beautiful or otherwise very appealing woman, and feeling right away like you were chasing after her, the moment you locked eyes with her and said 'hello.'

You can also think of meeting a very high prestige man - a celebrity, an über-popular person, a very big and muscular man who is intimidating by his presence alone, the guy who owns or manages the hot nightclub in town you really want to be able to get into - and feeling this as well.

That's the feeling you want to give to women when you get introduced to them, and when you can do that, your seductions shift into overdrive:

  • You get massive initial attraction and interest
  • You get girls wanting to know everything about you right away
  • You get girls who are immediately sexually aroused by you
  • You're able to skip steps and move a lot faster than you normally would

... and all this is made possible because someone was kind enough to provide you with a little introduction.


get introduced

Now it's certainly possible to do introductions in a not-so-sexy, not-so-effective way.

Your friend can introduce you to a girl, she'll give you a funny look, and that's it.

But if you know what you're doing with your introductions, you can make a heck of a splash every time you get introduced.


Facts About Intros

Think of getting introduced as a kind of optimizing of the opening process for maximum impact.

There are different kinds of women you'll meet when you are out and about. These are:

  1. Women who are simply not interested in you, and will not become interested in you, no matter what you do

  2. Women who could be interested in you, if you push the right buttons with them

  3. Women who are sold on you, and no matter what you do they are going to continue to be dead-set on nabbing you as a lover of theirs

#s 1 and 3 you will run into sometimes, but they're not that common. How tight your fundamentals are determines the proportion of them you run into; the better able you are to attract women with your basic passive attributes, the less of #1 and the more of #3 you'll see.

Neither of these is affected by you being introduced or you doing the opening on your own. The woman who simply isn't interested will not become interested merely because she met you through an introduction; and the woman who's already sold on you will be no less attracted to you if you walk up to her and open her yourself than she will be if someone she likes and respects introduces her to you in a high-value way.

The women we're targeting with introductions are the women in the #2 category - the ones who may be interested in you, but it remains to be seen... and the good news here is, most of the women you meet are somewhere along the spectrum in this middle ground.

Some of them are closer to #1, and are tough nuts to crack.

Some of them are closer to #3, and only require you to get things a little bit right before you're off to the races.

But all of the women who are somewhere in the middle between completely interested and completely uninterested you will see benefits with from a solid introduction.

A few more fun facts about introductions:

  1. Whether she's a friend-of-a-friend or a new acquaintances matters. Say you're sitting at a bar when a really cute girl walks up and takes a seat next to you. You think about saying something to her, but approach anxiety wins out and you lose your nerve, instead continuing to stare straight ahead at the liquor shelf behind the bar. 10 minutes go by, then your friend approaches.

    If your friend walks up and opens the girl and it's a cold approach, then introduces you, it seems like this is "something your circle does", and she'll assume he is more confident than you are and lose any scraps of curiosity she might've had about you. However, if your friend walks up and starts talking to the girl and it turns out they know each other, then introduces you, her interest in you will be just as high as had you just shown up and been introduced - or perhaps even higher: she'll now be wondering why you didn't say anything to her yourself, especially if you seem charming, friendly, and sociable on introduction.

  2. When two men of relatively close fundamentals, presence, and status enter at the same time, the man being introduced is deemed higher status than the one doing the introducing. A curious rule of socializing, but tied to the Law of Least Effort; the King does not handle his own approaching, whenever and wherever possible. Instead, others do the approaching, and bring women to him. This goes out the window if the two men are clearly of different levels of social dominance, attractiveness, status, etc.; in that case, the man who's clearly higher up gets an edge, even if he does the opening. If there's any ambiguity at all though, give it to the man who gets introduced.

  3. The presence and status of the introducer reflects on that of the introduced. It's important that you're being introduced by relatively cool, attractive people, because your status is assumed to be slightly above that of your introducer. If you're introduced by a well-liked jock or a roguish, charming type, people will automatically think you're even a little bit higher in attractiveness, status, and desirability than he is. If you get introduced by the nerdy guy that nobody likes, though, they'll assume you're little better than he is... and you'll be off to a pretty bad start. So be sure to get introduced by the right people.

  4. Women don't have to want the introducer to want you. Say you have a good friend introducing you to some of his female friends - even if they have an entirely platonic relationship with him, so long as they still hold him in relatively high esteem, it's still very possible for them to meet you and find you sexually enticing. Just because they feel platonically toward him does not mean they will toward you (assuming that you yourself are a sexy man who's exciting to women).


Get Introduced and Make It Fly

get introducedLet's talk about your duties as the introduced: what do you have to do to get the most out of an introduction?

There are three (3) core elements to a well-done intro:

  1. Being warm, yet

  2. Being interested only very casually, and

  3. Being slow

Here they are explained:

  1. Being warm. If you're too cold or aloof on introduction, none but the most interested, or the most desperate, will bother to give chase. You need to give girls a little. So be warm with those you're introduced to; make a girl feel like there's a good vibe between the two of you when you meet.

  2. Being interested only very casually. This one's one that requires a bit of a fine line to walk on. You want to be intrigued in her, but only just slightly... and in a sort of playfully flirtatious, subtle way. More in the video below.

  3. Being slow. Slowness is a characteristic sign of dominance. It's also a sign of being unfazed and non-needy. Women often have men snap to attention when they're offered an introduction; most men seem to think, "Oh, a pretty girl! I'd best not make her wait!" and jump chivalrously into meeting her as quickly as can be. Here though, as everywhere, you want to mind sprezzatura, and be smooth, graceful, and slow in your movement - as you turn, as you make eye contact, as you smile, as you take her hand. A slow first impression is a powerful first impression.

I've used this clip on this site before, but the introduction of Sean Connery as James Bond is an absolutely pristine example of this - watch Connery's warm, slow, and playful-but-slight interest in Sylvia Trench:

Normally, opening that you handle completely only your own (sans introduction) is something that isn't too terribly important to worry about so long as you have decent fundamentals and you aren't tripping over yourself to meet a girl; it's just something you get through to break the ice and get into conversation.

When getting introduced is your opener, however, the opening is key to what is to follow. A weak opening performance on your part means the girl you're being introduced to is left disappointed; a strong performance leaves her excited, and in pursuit.

Assuming you follow the steps above, and perform well on your introduction, you'll be starting off your interactions with women in pursuit - and playing the game set to 'easy.'


Introduction Etiquette

A brief word on etiquette.

I've met a few men who were "introduction parasites" - they were very good at sleeping with girls they met off of introductions, but otherwise were unable to get their own women. They were dependent on other men handling the meeting of women, then bringing them in.

Yet, because of the nature of introductions, these men very frequently would end up with the top girl of any pair or trio of women they were being introduced to; because they were the ones to get introduced, they appeared to be the more desirable, more powerful, higher status men, while the friends of theirs handling the introductions were seen as the less desirable ones doing all the work, and would always end up with the second-best girls.

Personally, I've never bothered spending much time around men like this; unless you're atrocious with women and are able to learn lots from introducing these men to women and watching them work, they usually won't have much to teach you, and even less to provide you in other forms of value. Unless they're great friends who perform some other wonderful, exceptionally beneficial role in your life (and they very rarely are; people who mooch in one way usually mooch in many others, too), you probably don't want to spend too much, or any, time around guys who rely on you to ply them with introductions.

Likewise, don't be the guy leaning on other guys to do all his opening for him. You'll soon find yourself paired up with only the most clueless and desperate men out there, and they won't be giving you the kind of status reflection you're looking for in your introductions.

Rather, for optimal results with introductions, it's best to have an informal tit-for-tat type situation with your friends, associates, and wingmen: you introduce them to some girls, and they introduce you to some.

This prevents one of you from ending up in a de facto "higher status than the other" role when you go out together, which usually results in partnerships eventually breaking down.

Take turns doing the opening and introductions, and you'll find beneficial arrangements with much longer lifespans on them than the taker-style "why don't you do all the approaching, and I'll do all the sleeping-with-girls" arrangements that some guys like having but burn out fast.


On Getting Introduced

One final note: even some relatively socially aware men may not realize they need to introduce you if they're used to spending time in social circles where everyone knows everybody else, or they're used to going out with really aggressive wingmen who proactively introduce themselves first to the girls their friends are talking with and don't realize it's better for one guy to go in and the other guy to get introduced once the first guy is accepted.

When this is the case, you will have to tell friends of yours what to do. i.e.:

  • "I'm going to need an introduction - it's better than if I approach on my own like a stranger."

or, if you're doing the approaching:

  • "I'm going to go in and meet these girls. You just hang out and look cool, and when we're ready, I'll bring you in."

Introductions are not hard, and they're a very good way of initiating an interaction with a woman in a way that very frequently results in girls chasing you from the outset. That means you get to speed through the interaction, and it's also just nice and pleasant to have girls being very warm and flirty and affectionate with you because they like you a good deal.

So long as you mind the rules of good introduction-accepting:

  1. Being warm, yet
  2. Being interested only very casually, and
  3. Being slow

... you'll get your introductions off on the right foot, and get some girls chasing after you in what may be one of the fastest, easiest, and most consistently reliable ways to get this happening.

Always,
Chase

Related Articles from GirlsChase.com

Comments

Jake's picture

Girls that won't chase?


Hi Chase,
I'm new to all of this and trying to learn and I'm learning a ton from applying your articles.

However, I'm wondering, are there some girls that simply won't chase? For instance are there girls that will be interested in you and want things to move forward, but will not initiate talking to you, texting you, calling you etc. simply because they don't think a girl should do that.

I'm particularly wondering because I went out with this girl last Friday and she said we should see each other again. But when I ask her when she's free she says her whole week is busy. So finally I just said "Well you're pretty busy so I'll leave this one up to you, let me know when you're free :) take care". However, I don't think this girl is the kind to ever text a guy first, like it's against her rules or something. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

Chase Amante's picture

Re: Girls that won't chase?

Author

Jake-

Assuming a woman is sufficiently interested in you, telling her to let you know when she's free when she's said she's unavailable for a long stretch of time (i.e., like a week) is enough for her to initiate, even if she normally won't do that.

Women's logical rules go out the window pretty fast when they meet a guy whom they like a lot, whom they know likes them, and when they find themselves in a situation where it's very easy to rationalize and makes sense for them making the next move and you've left the door wide open for them to do so with zero fear of rejection.

When a woman's said she's busy and hasn't offered otherwise to meet up or reschedule, and you've thrown the ball in her court in a smooth, calm, cool way and asked her to follow up and she doesn't, it just means she really isn't all that interested.

Chase

Danny's picture

Whoa!! Another fasinating lesson


Hey Chase,

Just wanna drop by and tell u that this is another fascinating lesson. You are just too socially savvy. Your ebook and all the articles written by u definitely worth the money I paid.

Knight's picture

Comments


To whom it concerns, well done on implementing comment notifications. A much needed feature.

Jason's picture

Responding to "I'm not ready..."


Hi Chase!

Thanks for another great article! It's quite a coincidence but I just got introduced by one of my gal friends to this girl a few days ago. My friend met me at a club and introduced me to this Asian girl from Asia. I got too drunk and broke one of your rules regarding dance floor tactics and ended up making out with her. She became really inebriated and so my friend took her home after about 2 hours. I did get her number though and I sent her a text like you suggested saying "hi, great meeting you, etc". She responded with a emoticon ":)".

After a few hours I asked her out to dinner and then she didn't respond for a day and a half before I got the following message:

"Hi Jason, sry for late reply, im not sure if Jenny (my friend) told you I was just broke up with my ex last month, so I don't think Im ready for a new relationship now. But I really really glad if i can be your one of your friend."

At this point, I've never actually gotten one of these texts RIGHT after meeting a girl and so I don't know how to respond. I'm not that interested in her and was just trying to know her better to see how I felt about her.

I am really curious how you would respond to her text being in my position if you weren't that interested and am open to keeping her as a "friend" ( I usually don't) as she has a lot of other attractive friends I could meet.

Thanks Chase and thanks for the article, it's super as always!

Jason

Chase Amante's picture

Friend Zoning a Girl with Pretty Friends

Author

Jason-

Just responded to your initial comment on this girl here:

Following Up

Regarding the new developments - I'd respond with something like: "Rockin'. You seem like chill people. Tell you what, I'll be your guy pal and chat with you about relationships and life and we can grab food and hang out if you'll play matchmaker and introduce me to some of your cute girlfriends. Deal? :)"

That way right away she knows what the deal is (that she's going to be introducing you to girls), and if she freaks out or doesn't like it or if she's trying to slow game you for herself as a backup, she'll say "no" to this right away or won't respond, and then you'll have saved yourself some time (and much hanging out in the friend zone for no real reason).

Chase

The M's picture

Apologies, saying what's on my mind


Hi Chase,

When a girl gets embarrassed or apologizes for something, I always immediately say, without thinking, "Oh, that's alright/totally fine."

But the Rico Suaves in my life get an impish smile and make a little teasing comment which sets her off (in a good way).

I've tried to change my reaction, but don't want to make her feel bad or be a total asshole. Should I just go ahead anyway, or is there a better way I can calibrate this now?

One other question: I noticed that my conversations become a lot more interesting when I really pay attention to what's going through my mind and just say it (of course, along with active listening). Sometimes it's just a flash of an image or a thought, and that's it, but if I grab onto it and say it playfully, it often adds some spark. I'm not sure if you've described conversation this way before, but does this sound kind of like what you do?

Best,
The M

Chase Amante's picture

Re: Apologies, saying what's on my mind

Author

M-

Great observation on saying what's on your mind. Yes - actually, I've noticed it in an opposite way - I noticed that the instant I start thinking thoughts that I DON'T want to say in conversation, that's when conversation gets awkward and I need to refocus myself. Like, if I'm talking to a girl and suddenly think, "Man, I bet she looks really good without that dress on," my next thought is, "Whoa, better get refocused on the conversation, otherwise you're going to stumble and miss a step there fella... and then there won't be any seeing her without that dress on later." So long as you can speak your mind, and your thoughts are properly lining up with the conversation, things flow very smoothly. This is much easier for guys who are better versed in conversation than for newer guys, though, who will tend to think a lot of things that have little bearing on or relevancy to their conversations (like, how nervous they are right now, or wouldn't it be horrible if she found out they'd only slept with 3 girls before?).

On girls apologizing - depends on what kind of game you're going for and what stage of the interaction you're in, but much of the time I find this fun and something that contributes to the interaction, yes. "Sorry" is usually an automatic response, and "Oh that's okay" is too - it feels very boring and uninteresting with both people do this. If she spills her drink on you and says "Sorry" and you say, "You going to lick that up?" instead, you've effectively called her out on her autopilot apology and shocked her back into the moment - you look very clever and socially aware for having done this.

A good way of responding to autopilot "Sorries" without being a jerk is either going into the realm of absurdist guilt trip humor (she spills the drink, says "Sorry", and you very melodramatically sigh and say "That's okay. I mean, I only own this one pair of pants and all, and now I'm going to have to walk around pants-less everywhere from here on out, but it's fine. Don't worry about it"), or asking her if she's going to do something silly (she sits on your hand, says "Sorry", and you say, "Do you usually try to touch men's hands with your butt, or is that just for me?").

If you add some chase framing into your responses (notice that all replies I have here are sexual in one way or another), this spices up the vibe and is not asshole-ish in the least.

Chase

Kurac's picture

Approaching


Do you know how many times a week/month girls get approached? I mean, most men don't approach girls regularly and even when they do it's in nightclubs or when they are drunk, via social circle...

I would say at least 1/3 of men don't approach (either because of anxiety, porn addiction, high standards etc).

So, who does all of the approaching if it's true that 1 average girl has many guys interested in her? How often do they get approached directly during the day?

Chase Amante's picture

Approach Frequencies

Author

Kurac-

The majority of the cold approaches most women get are by drunk to VERY drunk men in bars, clubs, and parties... most men simply cannot approach without being at least somewhat inebriated.

Some men will try to flirt with women while waiting in line or for a bus / train / plane or waiting to pick up luggage in an airport or looking at vegetables in the produce aisle, things like that, but it's usually not anything more than, "You're really pretty," and, "Would you like to get dinner sometime?" Most men are opportunistic... I had one girlfriend tell me about a man who stopped to give her a ride to work when she couldn't find a taxi one morning, and turned out to be a doctor and asked her out in the car... another one who told me she'd been approached by a guy riding the subway one day (I thought I was the only one who did that!).

From what I hear from most girlfriends, genuine daytime cold approach only seems to happen once every couple of weeks for a girl who's living in a big city and walking or riding the train to work, and even more rarely if she drives (since she's never outside during the day).

Most people meet each other via social circle though, and women having guys hit on them from work, circles of friends, activity groups, classes, etc. is where most women have guys talk to them. Those are very dependent on how many men the girl is around; if she's in a lot of different circles, she'll have a lot of different men chasing after her at any given time. Even a very beautiful woman won't have too many men pursuing her if she isn't very socially active, and even very homely girls can have lots of pursuers if they have numerous and broad social circles.

Chase

bassman's picture

Girl from past


Hello Chase, Thank you for all the great articles. This one is the closest I have found to my current situation.

What do you do when a girl that you have known for years, finally bedded (definitely gave her an amazing experience) and made fall head over heels for you goes cold and doesn't respond after about a week of being together? All I have mostly read on this site is about girls which you have no past with or haven't bedded yet.
Could it be a "state-shift"? I can't see how it could be her labeling me bf material after I already slept with her. This article is close, but doesn't go into what to do after bedding her.

I posted more details in the forum:
http://www.girlschase.com/boards/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2890&sid=0f41283fbc...

Thank you for all your hard work and effort. You are a pioneer in my opinion.

Chase Amante's picture

Auto-Rejection

Author

Bassman-

Just got a response up for you on the boards here:

Re: Girl From the Past.

This one seems to be auto-rejection based on how you handled her desire for a whirlwind romance right out of the gates.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Going out with 2


Wow, exactly the kind of article i was hoping to find on this site today.

It would have been exhausting searching for it.
It really sums up almost all my questions i have, but one.

I have a girl-friend ( just a friend ) from high school that has a gorgeous cousin of hers, living right next to her house.

I told her that i wanted to meet her and asked her to introduce me to her.
Now what i am asking is this:

"If she says yes ( hopefully ), what would be the ideal place for a meet up? A coffee shop or their place ( since they live next to each other ) ?

If they want their place that would violate the rule: "have the date on your terms, not hers"..

Now since i engage in 1 on 1 with girls i am flirting or want to date, this time around i will have to go out with my friend and her cousin, in order to meet her, because girls here are conservative..

What would the next step be? Should i whisper my friend half way thru the date for her to leave, and leave me alone with her cousin ?

For the date i am thinking having it fun and entartaining, letting her do all the talking, etc etc, and plan for a 2nd date just for me and her.

What do you think Chase?

Thanks.
Regards.

Chase Amante's picture

Friend's Cousin

Author

Anon-

In this case, I'd suggest making it a "fun" date where you, the friend, and the friend's cousin all go do something like go to an amusement park or a lake or a pool party, and maybe go get some Mexican food and drinks or something else nice but casual afterward to unwind and all talk and hang out and get to know each other. Having the friend there will make it less "weird" (like a blind date tends to be) and if things go well, you'll have an easy time asking the cousin to grab drinks or a bite with you another time and grab her contact info.

Chase

V's picture

Why do things keep going wrong for me?/Stop Failing


Hey chase, it seems everything goes wrong for me for some reason. I work hard to make myself better and put my pride on the line to get girls, and when I get them things always seem to go wrong.

It's more than a sticking point because there's so many different scenarios that can happen. It can go from getting a number to not getting a date, to getting a girl home then not being able to escalate, to having the girl naked then at the very last minute she doesn't want to have sex. It ranges from problem to problem, but something always goes wrong. Its not just cold approach girls either, It took me a lot to approach this one girl in social circle, I almost slept with her but didn't, then people found out and I got made fun for it. So basically I put my pride on the line just to vet made fun of. What can I do to stop having things go against my favor?

Thank you

Chase Amante's picture

Soldiering On

Author

V-

Really the only thing to do here is keep soldiering on. You will have lots of failures and continually get close and almost there, only to have things go to hell in a handbasket plenty of times before you get to the point where you're consistently driving interactions from first meet to intimacy on a regular basis (and even then, you'll still have plenty of flame outs, but you won't spend much time worrying about these, aside from a brief analysis of what you should've done differently, because most of your energy will be spent on finding newer and sexier girls to bed instead).

I could tell you plenty of stories of having girls naked or almost naked in bed, and losing it at the last possible moment. Many of these I now look back on and go, "Oh! I was SO stupid back then... if I had that one today, I'd close it in a heartbeat!" But when you're learning, you haven't had those lessons sink in yet that need to sink in for you to consistently fire on all cylinders.

Failure is the stuff success is made of - keep stacking up failures, and you'll turn around one day and realize you've built success.

Chase

TR's picture

Girl or Dude introducing you?


Where would a girl rank on the levels of people introducing you?

Would they be roughly level with a buddy with tight fundamentals, better than a real geeky friend, or is it more of a social proof kind of thing where her looks/interaction with you matter a lot more. Maybe whether or not she was a cold-approach from earlier or a friend also matters?

Just curious on the technicalities of this, I'm going to assume that a pretty girl would make a great introduce-r, and my experience tells me that most girls that have been introduced to me by their girl friends have all been very warm/open to me.

Chase Amante's picture

Girl Handling the Introductions

Author

TR-

Same social status rules apply as with a guy - the higher her (perceived) social status, the better you'll be received. Usually this means "pretty", but girls can have a lot of clout with different circles from a number of other things, too (personality, an established role in the circle, etc.).

Your observation on the other factor is right too - if a girl is showing a very warm attitude toward you and being flirty or sexual, you get another point boost right there - immediately you're judged a desirable, preselected man.

If you can get beautiful, flirty women to introduce you to other men, that's like taking the fishing with dynamite that is introductions and tying a little ball of enriched uranium onto that dynamite stick (so long as the girl you're being introduced to isn't SO shy that she'll auto-reject just because another woman seems interested in you).

Chase

Wolf's picture

5 important question, please answer


1.Chase, what's the quickest way I can get over a dry spell? I've been approaching but haven't had sex for over a year (please don't judge me) and I can't seem to get over that hump. What do you recommend I do to get rid of it? The fact im not getting laid seems to bring my confidence down and makes me treat women more scare and it makes getting laid such a big priority that I can't reach it, its like chasing a girl the more you chase she runs, it's like the more I want to get laid the vagina keeps running.

2.Chase I wanted to know about levels of aggressiveness, I wanted to know how hard to touch on a girl and how to approach her and not get a charge, I also don't want to be limp and not be aggressive enough that I lose the girl, whats a fine medium?

3.When you're approaching girls what do you tell yourself chase? How do you push yourself to do it? I read all of the articles about aa it's just I'd like to know how to really push through it.

4.How do you pick up girls through the drive thru?

5. I'd really like for a way to see what I've asked you before, like a time line of what I've asked and you answered, that way I can keep studying what you tell me. Its very hard for me to find out where I left a certain comment. Let me know if a time line comment thing can happen.

That's all, thanks chase.

Chase Amante's picture

Dry Spells, AA, Touch, and More

Author

Wolf-

On dry spells, the best thing I've found is going on a super-exploration run and trying to find as many new and interesting places to meet women as possible in your city. e.g., if you usually only go out Friday nights to XYZ club for night game and Sunday afternoons to ABC street for day game, set aside Saturday during the day to check out other streets, shopping malls, etc. and do approaches there; check out Salsa Night at the local salsa bar on Monday evenings; go to the Mexican place's Taco Tuesday happy hours; check out Hump Night at that cantina you always hear is good on Wednesdays; and just stock your week with AS MUCH going out to new places as you possibly can, with goals of talking to at least 3 new girls in every new place just to get a read on how receptive the women are to you there and how worth the place is returning to.

On touching girls - see this article: "7 Ways to Touch a Girl + 3 Ways to Have HER Touch YOU."

On approach anxiety - everything for me personally is in my article on this: "Overcoming Approach Anxiety", but I personally don't really deal with this much anymore. The only thing I deal with is momentum if I haven't been approaching for a little while or if it's in a new place / town / venue that I'm not all that comfortable with for whatever reason… and in that case, my thought is just, "All right, well, we'd better get started somewhere, and this girl seems as good as any." The thought is more about "getting started" than it is meeting / impressing a girl or getting a date with her or getting her to bed. You can't think about those things until you're warmed up and approaching already, unless you're in a mood where that EXCITES you to approach (which, sometimes, that's exactly what you need to think to get yourself approaching - "Man, wouldn't it be great to have this girl in bed? Let me go talk to her and find out").

Drive through - I have no idea! Maybe, "Let me get a Big Mac with cheese… and your phone number!" Jokes aside, I'd probably just try talking to her and then telling her, "You know what, you are REALLY cute! Am I breaching customer etiquette if I ask you if you'd be interested in grabbing a bite or a drink some time with an eligible young bachelor like myself?" Purely speculation there, though - should you try this and pull it off, do report back!

Comment search - yeah, we've had a few people ask for this functionality before. I'll check up on it again and see if it's something we can quickly whip up or if it's something that requires more complicated coding on the backend to do (and isn't as quickly implementable).

Chase

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