How to Be a Good Lover (and Give a Girl Orgasms)
“Nothing much to do... I’m at home and I think I’m so addicted to your passionate sex... I still can’t get over last night… I love it.”
If you’re not regularly receiving text messages like that, even from seasoned party girls - and you could use a primer on how to be a good lover - read on.
The next text she sent me was:
“Hmm… what is your secret magic?”
I didn’t tell her… but I’m going to tell you.
And if you don't know how to make girls crawl the walls, you really need to learn how to. It does a lot for your confidence… and it does a lot for your ability to hang onto a girl you really like.
Really, there's no reason that you shouldn't be able to give a girl an orgasm multiple times when you're sleeping with her.
And once you're able to do this, then you can approach women knowing that you will give them the best sex of their lives... And that's powerful.
What IS “Good In Bed”?
If you ask just about any man whether or not he’s good in bed, 99% of guys will say that they are.
Just like most guys think they’re a better than average driver…
But of course, that’s impossible. Only 50% of drivers are better than average. And it’s not automatically the 50% that are male…
The point is, we guys have a big ego and we often have a very optimistic view of our own abilities when it comes to any skill that is associated with masculinity… and for that reason, we often don’t seek to improve our skills in that area.
Including how to be a good lover.
I used to be the same way… until I started to get into tantric sex and other oriental sexual practices.
And suddenly I realized that most people don’t know what “good in bed” even means!
The first girlfriend I had after studying some of these techniques was able to come three times within 90 seconds… and I’m not even talking about serial orgasms, but three separate ones.
Sometimes her climax would last for five minutes… and I once counted her coming 19 times in one single night.
The next morning, she was sitting on my bed, leaning back against the wall and staring at the ceiling… she could hardly string a complete sentence together anymore – and she, too, wanted to know where in the WORLD I had learned how to do that.
I’m going to reveal some of the secrets of being really good in bed right here.
Hittin’ What Spots, Now?
Some guys apparently still struggle to find the clitoris… I don’t assume you’re one of them, but if you ever have to explain it to your friend who doesn’t do anything other than play World of Warcraft, tell him it’s the thing above the vagina that feels like a mouse wheel.
Different strokes for different chicks… some girls like it when you rub their clit very gently, barely touching it even. Others like it rough and you can use your flat hand and rub it back and forth as fast and hard as you can… you have to gauge her a little bit.
And make sure you use plenty of lube if you do the latter…
So that’s the clit.
The second spot is a little bit more interesting – I’m talking, of course, about the infamous G-Spot.
The G-Spot – A Myth?
Believe it or not, there was an article on BBC not too long ago, claiming that the G-Spot “doesn’t appear to exist.”
If you’ve ever seen how women respond when you stimulate their G-Spot, you will find that claim as hysterical as I do - I can only conclude that the scientist who wrote that paper not only made a fool out of himself by publicly proclaiming that he is unable to pleasure women, but also that he needs to get laid more… a lot more.
Somebody needs to point him to our blog…
Yes, the G-Spot does exist – anatomically speaking, it is the female equivalent of the prostate… just like the clitoris is the female equivalent of the penis.
It can be found inside the vagina, and you can easily reach it with your middle finger… it becomes engorged when a woman is aroused, and stimulating it can cause female ejaculation.
Just like with the clitoris, different women like to have their G-Spot stimulated in different ways… some like it when you move your finger in a circular motion, others prefer a quick back-and-forth from left to right, and some like a gentle come-hither motion…
The possibilities are endless, and you will have to find out what she likes best by trying a few different things and seeing how she responds… it’s also a good idea to ask her.
Communication is always a winner in any relationship.
In the end of the day, however, this isn’t as much about technique as it is about psychologically stimulating a woman by being a strong masculine man who takes the lead.
The Deep Spot
This spot is a little bit harder to find than the other two… and as its name suggests, it’s pretty deep inside a woman’s vagina.
In fact, it is so deep that a surefire way to find it is to move your fingers so far inside that you can feel her cervix… then bend your fingers a bit, and you’ve got it.
The Deep Spot is made up of the muscles that contract when a woman orgasms… which means that if you massage and stimulate these muscles, you can’t HELP but give a girl orgasms.
It’s really cute to see the expression on their faces when they realize that, even if just for a minute, you completely own them… you own their pleasure, and you can send their mind on a rocket ride to the moon and back.
This is what causes sexual addiction… if you get this technique down and use it with a girl, you won’t have to worry a whole lot about how to make her want you and to keep her around once you’ve slept with her.
Women just can’t get enough of this one!
Note that the Deep Spot isn’t actually a “spot”… It reaches from the front of her anterior fornix (below her belly button) all the way to the back, near her rectum…
…and by the way, if you stimulate the back of the deep spot during anal sex, it can make some girls speech impaired for a while from the endorphin overdose!
I took the liberty of naming this spot after myself, because I haven’t seen anybody write about it before.
The R-Spot is right between the G-Spot and the Deep Spot… and it is very small.
In fact, it feels a bit as if there was a grain of rice under her skin… and not all girls even seem to have this spot.
With girls who DO have it, however, you can often get them off in seconds by stimulating the R-Spot… look for it.
You might be in for a surprise…
Which brings me to my next point. Not all girls are the same sexually… and while this might sound obvious, there are still a lot of “gurus” out there who claim that you can give the same sexual experience to any woman.
That is simply not true…
It’s the same with guys… some of us get off on a blowjob in seconds. I even know guys who prefer it to sex!
With others, a blowjob does nothing for them and they’ve never had an orgasm from oral sex in their lives.
And it’s the same with girls. Some can come 15 to 20 times in a single night… that is absolutely true. Others might experience only a couple of orgasms or even none at all.
And while it’s possible to teach a girl that’s never had an orgasm before how to let herself go and cum for the first time in her life, that is a bit beyond the scope of this article.
But by the same token, some girls have a higher sex drive than others.
I’ve dated girls who were perfectly fine hanging out with their boyfriends or the guys they were dating and not have sex with them… yeah I know. That sounds insane to me too.
But it’s reality.
On the other hand, I’ve known a couple of girls whose sex drive outstripped just about ANY guy’s… I’m talking about chicks that you pleasure for four hours straight and after round four they jump you again and get all disappointed and sexually frustrated if you run out of steam!
Fortunately, we still have our hands… and if you learn some of the techniques above, you can really do some magic and hold a total monopoly over her sexual pleasure.
You better believe she’s going to call you back!
How to Be a Good Lover: Beyond Technique
As I mentioned above, it’s not all about technique. And while it’s not true that technique doesn’t matter at all, you also can’t give a girl the night of her life just by going through a million different positions and ways of stimulating her physically.
The mental component is important, as discussed above…
…and sex with a woman begins the moment you first talk to her!
It’s all in the psychological build-up, you see…
And if you combine that with physical build-up, you have a girl that will be so ready to go and dripping wet before you ever start having sex with her that she’s going to BEG you to penetrate her…
…which, by the way, will also make it ten times more likely that she’s going to have an insane amount of orgasms and experience the night of her life with you.
So what IS good foreplay really? Some kissing, some fondling, some caressing?
Nah… that won’t do it. Every guy does that. Here’s how you can set yourself apart.
Preheating the Oven
Want to know how to be a good lover for your girl? Well, here are a couple of things you can do to make her weak at the knees and melt in your arms before you even get started… and a couple of secret tips and tricks to give a girl orgasms, and for the actual sex as well:
- Smelling her neck, breathing into her ear and licking her skin: Lick a spot on her skin so it becomes moist, and THEN breathe on it. Your warm breath will make the saliva evaporate and give her the shivers. Works best on her breasts or her neck.
- Run your fingers along those parts of her body where the light thin hair is… the hair that is barely even visible. Stay about a millimeter above her skin, so you don't touch it… but you do brush that hair. Goosebumps guaranteed.
- Biting - a very sensual, slow bite that can be very erotic to a woman. You can also byte her whole lower jaw... I’m not even sure why this turns many women on so much, but I suspect it’s because it’s such an expression of raw passion and desire.
- Ass smacking – this really depends on the girl. Some women only get really aroused if you are super affectionate and sweet with them, others won’t leave your bedroom happy unless you smack them in the face and dominate them like a rag doll. Be careful with this and ramp it up slowly to find out what she likes.
- Tease her – licking or even just touching a girl around her vagina or her breasts (not actually on them initially) is extremely powerful. You can also lick her tits, but only for half a second and pull back… Wait 5 seconds and do it again. Avoid her nipple and tease her stupid.
- For cunnilingus, try to pretend like you're French kissing her vagina as if it was her mouth. It’s as exciting to them when they can tell you’re really enjoying her as it is to us when a girl looks us straight in the eyes with desire while she’s giving a blow job.
- Kisses - For some reason girls really like it when you kiss them all over their bodies... You can even give a girl little peck kisses all over her face. The same goes for softly touching her face, for your cheek touching her cheek and even for cupping her face with your hands as you make out with her.
- Put her legs on your shoulders or your chest, with her pelvis tilted up while you have sex with her – that way you can really hit her deep spot as you penetrate her, and her own knees will be massaging her breasts.
- Pull her nipple strongly with your lips, or softly with your teeth… then lick the middle of her nipple quickly up and down, back and forth with your tongue. Also try going in circles, around the nipple… you can even spiral your way from the outside in, getting closer and closer, always going in circles.
The reason why this is such a turn-on for women is because the nerve endings at the skin of her breasts are arranged in circles.
- Massage both her G-spot and her Deep Spot from the inside and the outside (her belly) at the same time.
- If you're good at multitasking, you can even stimulate your girl in four ways at the same time, with your left and right hands, your mouth and your member.
- While she's on top, raise your hip and just shake it back and forth. You can get a good angle at her spots that way, and her whole body is pretty much at your mercy... which is a huge turn-on for most women. She’s on top, but she has no control over what's happening to her at all.
- As you stimulate her G-Spot, instead of doing a come hither motion, go left and right, back and forth, with your middle finger, and extremely fast. The gland should swell and so your finger will slide off the gland on either side every time you cross it.
That’s a whole bunch of dynamite I’ve just given you to play with… and as such, I have to give you a warning.
Do NOT use this full arsenal on women you’re not in the least bit serious about. You can REALLY create a powerful sexual addiction in women if you do, and you don’t want women you’re seeing only casually to get too attached to you. You need to be careful you don't hurt a girl by doing this with the wrong girl.
Trust me on this, there is absolutely NO benefit whatsoever in getting girls to fall in love with you when you’re not in love with them. It will only create drama, they will give you the ultimatum and what could otherwise be a pleasant experience for everybody will end in tears.
So reserve the real nukes for the girls you REALLY like.
It will be one heck of a solid foundation for a relationship if you can rock her world… like no man she has EVER met, nor will ever meet… in her LIFE.
See you later.
Onward and upward,
UPDATE: for even more blow-her-mind sexual techniques you can use right away, see "Make Her Orgasm Hard from Sex in 8 Minutes or Less."
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