Are You a Unique, Special Individual? You're Probably Missing the Basics | Girls Chase

Are You a Unique, Special Individual? You're Probably Missing the Basics

Chase Amante

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unique special
Sometimes you don’t want to follow the instructions. The instructions are for other folks, not you! But if you still aren’t getting results, maybe it’s time to change things up.

Over the years, we’ve seen myriad guys come and go who struggle with a specific problem. These guys are among the most frustrated folks we see at Girls Chase. Not only are they frustrated themselves, but they frustrate everyone who tries to help them, too.

You see, what they want is a magic pill. They want you to tell them how to do everything you teach guys how to do – only they want you to teach them to do it faster and easier than how you teach all those other guys how to do it.

It doesn’t matter how fast the method you’re teaching is. It could take two weeks to work; they’d still want to know how to do it in four days. When you finally persuade them to put the work in, they take a couple of half-hearted shots at it, all their dreams don’t instantly come true, and they give up. It’s too hard, they’re too unmotivated they say. Then they want you to motivate them. Or, even better, give them some kind of shortcut you haven’t told them about before.

We’ve seen it a lot on the discussion boards. Some of the guys we banned in 2017 were long-time members who kept asking for magic pills, chafing at the suggestion when other members suggested they start with the basics, then whined about how hard it was and how unfair their situations were.

And I wondered to myself: “What the heck is these guys’ problems? Why can’t they just do the work and quit whining about it? Why do they ask for magic pills over and over and over again? They’ve GOT all my stuff – and all everybody else’s stuff – right here on the darn site!”

Sure, there’s a lot of material here, and it can be hard to know where to start. That’s why we have the quiz and our programs, though. Both of those are condensed information that takes you through a guided process. There’s also the newbie assignment on the boards, which only takes 14 days and a little courage to do. We have paths for guys who are new and want to start getting results. But some guys don’t take them – then not only don’t they follow the paths we’ve laid out for them, but they continue to complain about not getting results anyway. What’s going on with people like this?

Well, as it turns out, a piece of scientific research fresh off the presses (published at the end of December) has figured out what’s going on with people who do this.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

GET CHASE’S MASTERY PACKAGE

Comments

Michael   Carr's picture

Chase, thank you! this website over the past 7 years or so has changed my life and i needed this advice. thank you, i hope one day we get to meet. it turns out we have a mutual friend from Ireland named Tom!

-Michael

SZ's picture

Hey Chase, hope you can read all this on why I am the way I am, and my side on things. I would appreciate it a lot.

I will admit that I half-ass things, as in I expect to be better in something within a time frame I find reasonable, or a catch a lucky break.

There are points I do agree with, it seems that I have to talk more, I hate talking to people I don't know because it feels like I have to be on point, especially with women, when I try to do that I'm in my head a lot, nervous, and feel like I can't mess up, or she doesn't want to hear what I have to say, which I will admit I feel.

So I will try to talk more.

I never felt entitled I was better and I can get past steps, I do feel entitled to lucky breaks tho. I feel that it's justifiable because you should have a girl sooner or later that will like you and sleep with you dispite not being that good skillset wise.

I feel that way for anyone doing anything, someone has to have that lucky break or they will go mad. If someone works on something for a long time and gets no breaks, why would he continue? Or not go mad?

My 3 main problems.

1. Fitness
2. Money
3. Women

1.With fitness, there's times where I would be on a diet for a while, lost weight, gained strength, but looked exactly the same.

So sometimes I say fuck it.

2. With money, I have had nothing, but low paying jobs for years, and applied to many jobs out of the ass with very, very few job offers, I can tell you know all of the job offers I got, anyone can do.

I am well spoken, have worked hard on my resume, even paid money for big interview, studied it, I'm educated and I'm even trying to go back to school to learn more. I even networked with people from companies that still didn't hire me. So with money and a job, I need my own way to make money, the job is just for safety and pay bills. I'm going back to school to get a better one so I can make more.

My main gripe about this is that I know multiple people who have better jobs than me from the same job I worked with before. They didn't do what I did, I'm sure they didn't purchase anything to help them get a job, they don't have any crazy skills, I know for a fact because I know these people personally and we worked the same job.

They just got lucky, they applied and got hired. I know these people, talk to then and asked questions.

My thing is sure, I don't have many skills, but they don't either.

I have applied to 100s of jobs to only receive a call back from 3 shitty ones, beggers can't be choosers right? Sure, but I already took on those other shitty jobs, I can't pay bills with them, so I need something better.

I'm the way I am because why can't I just get a job where I can just pay my bills and then be able to devote time to learn skills and towards my education ?

Most of those people I worked with don't even have degrees, and if they do, it sure ain't STEM, it sure ain't in something they're doing now. Others just have a high school diploma and only experience from the one job I had with them.

And the funny thing about my shitty jobs ? Not only did they pay like shit and I worked under 25 hours, I was forced to leave those jobs, no matter what I did, atvthese baby jobs, it wasn't good enough, so I had to leave them.

I remember an article you wrote and in one part was a made up story, ( i dont remember the exact details) but it was about a guy who had to feed his family, he couldn't find work, so it would be understandable that he would sell drugs to feed his family. I won't do that, but you catch my drift.

I'm going super crazy about my education too because I want to do STEM, but I'm so horrible in math and I tried to hard to understand it I have wasted time trying to get better that I couldn't dispite my efforts. I'm afraid if I can't do STEM I might be a failure. I Don't want that to happen. I want to be successful.

I think that me going crazy is justifiable for this because I have going through with this for many many years.

3. Girls, I do admit that I have a negative mindframe in general. My whole life I have been dealing with shit that I feel I didn't have to, or I never catch a break, and I know this deals with women because like you said mindset.

I admit, I have mostly tried to dance with girls instead of talked, mostly of of instinct, I absolutely hate talking.

I'll admit that I have yet to do day game because like I said I hate talking and feel I would get rejected anyway.

Haven't tried online much.

But I will say, there's times where I have went to the club 3 times a week at times for about a year or 2 and didn't even get one date. I also talked to them or just danced. I guess I talked because I went out so much, I tried more. I have to do that again. But you don't think a guy doesn't deserve to get some type of break after doing this? Even a damn date !?

And I will admit that I do half-ass it and don't take it seriously to the point where I go out other than the club to approach women, it's still a foreign concept on my mind, and that I will just waste both my time and women I approach.

I will change that.

When it comes to girls, it'd be high on my list, but the other two are higher so I can be better with taking care of myself, then focus on women after, but not having achieve those and women also makes me go crazy.

I have nothing to fall back on and be happy, everything is a struggle.

An example are the some guys I read on the forums crying about women or something being unfair, but guess what? They at least have good jobs most of the time, they can take care of themselves.

That's my main thing with all of this anger and rage. I can't do good with anything? Am I that bad I can't do any of these things right?

I will be honest with you and say that with girls, I have not went hard enough, but the other two I know I ain't half ass them at all.

That's where all of the time wasted comments come from, I am do pessimistic and have victim mentality, and depression because most of the time, things don't go my way at all. I have had no break at all with these things.

I really do feel that having dealt with that makes it reasonable why my mindsets are so fucked up. It's more than girls, way more, if those other areas were handled at least halfway, I could actually focus on women more instead of worrying about making money or being on a diet.

Then I always talk about age because I'm getting older and older and nothing has gotten better, only worse. I was in a better position 5 years ago than now. All I have now is debt.

Some people can be happy and not achieve success, not me at all.

But like I said before I never believed that I shouldn't have to work as hard as other people. I understand that, the women thing sure, I can work harder.

The other two, mostly money. I have no choice but to try to make a lot of money fast, I made low money too long. I took the slow path with money, where that get me?

I'm not complaining just telling my side of the story and my view on things.

If you have an opinion let me know.

I had a few questions too.

1. How do I finally get some lucky breaks here and there dispite all my efforts? When do they come? I've been waiting for years.

2.. What is described as half ass attempts? How much harder do I have to work on these things? Most of my problems I did not half-ass in my opinion, maybe you view it different.

3. When you said I was obsessive, could you explain what you mean? That's the only description I was lost about.

4. Just wanted your opinion on college opportunities with women. Would you say if I worked I would miss out greatly with getting valuable experience with women, if I worked full time?

My friend makes it seem that way and has even told me to take out a lot of loans in order to go during the day time where women are abundant, then he said to join a frat (very time consuming)

I just wanted to know your perosnal opinion on the college opportunity with women and if I will miss out greatly if I go to night Classes Instead Of day.

Thanks

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Happy New Year Chase!
Hope everything in your business is going well!
I'm personally excited for what this year has to come...since I'm starting to get down my sexy vibe, but still need tons of work.

Thanks to your email on "We are not a light switch", it helped a lot in getting that flirty sexy vibe.

I had a time when a girl and I made eye contact, I did the bedroom eyes with a smile, and she looked away and then "flinched" looked back (double take), and stared. She was with her mom, and her mom walked, and so she followed and looked back again (third time) to see what's up...

It was almost like she's confused. I don't know. But I guess something worked?

It's cute and silly to see these kinds of things, but I don't mind them happening more ;)

Re: Passing her screening tests

I was reading your "Tactic Tuesday: How to deal with her text screens".
Makes me wonder, "How to deal with her DIRECT screening on dates or approaching etc.?"

Like "Do you have a job?"

We aren't talking about indirect screening "I like guys who gets promoted and have good job prospects"
in which we can reply, "I got promoted to sole manager of the cleaning crew at my workplace!" in a playful, yet sexy way with improv and playing along.

But if they're being direct and grilling you, can't really sidestep them with improv.
Do you have a job?
Ummm no, I quit lately

Oh ok... (Good bye)

Ummm bye!

And of course, the ultimate solution would be topping our sexiness so we don't get these screenings.
But in the situation of getting them, how do we pass them (without going into boyfriend and answering directly to qualify to her screens...which I don't like)

Re: Attainability / Value
In the same article, you mention about "low attainability can get her disqualifying you over text"
And then you followed with an example : "So you really don't have a job? :/"

But isn't low attainability when she feels you're out of her league?
Whether or not you have a job, sounds more like "Value", characteristics in a man she looks for, checkboxes for, and hence, "valuable to her". And if she doubts that you have a job, and that's a characteristic she looks for, doesn't that suggest you're low value, and hence, high attainability?

This can be shown in your "Dialing down your value volume" where you said men show "TOO MUCH VALUE" by showcasing their accomplishments and job aspects. So having these "job" or meeting her checkboxes are indication of value... Then why does this disqualification happen when you have "low attainability" as opposed to "low value".

I'm a little slow so if you can clarify for me the definition here would be great.

Thanks Chase,
Lawliet

BMontana's picture

Hey Chase, happy new year to you and your team! :)

Your article actually made me realize on thing: If I had to choose between the basics/having game and being natural attractive (looks, status etc) yet with less game, I still might choose the latter. Having game and basics is great and you can use it a lot but having too much knowledge about women , their mindset and the dating world can become like a burden. The good looking goof might still be happier in life, cause he he gets all the attention first, no matter what. He will also think that his looks and kindness is all what women care for (and probably his money) and even though he will be crashed at one point in life, he will say to himself not all women are like this and still be happy.

Well it's like, when you discover that Santa does not exist. Aren't you disappointed? I bet most of us have been disappointed. You spend weeks, maybe months or the whole year to behave like a good son in order to get gifts and then you realize Santa didn't get you anything, because your parents couldn't afford him anymore. lol

What I am saying is, knowledge can destroy your illusions, dreams and hopes but it can also rescue you from suffering big heartbreak. That's why I believe most guys who need Pick up, Blogs like GC etc. are guys who first always lacked of the natural attractiveness in the first place and that's why they lacked of confidence as well. Even when they become more attractive through the years, physically and mentally, they still fear to lose and get heartbroken sooner or later whereas the natural attractive guy probably never really had to work on himself at all (except for going to the gym, if at all). His game might suck but he is probably more confident and happier. I don't think guys like Brad Pitt have game at all. He comes off pretty boring to me. But women still go for him or his type of male, if we exclude him being a rich celebrity. So I guess most guys who have game but lack in other areas like looks, height and social proof are still jealous about the natural attractive guy. I guess there are rarely popular hot good looking guys with game because the good looking guys with less game don't need to sit here hours and hours and read about the female mindest. They are too busy going out and sleeping with them. And sleeping with many women is probably the best lesson anyway, it will tell you a lot about women. The only problem is that those guys who sleep around a lot might alos be a little naive as well but they are still happier in life. So I can understand why many newbies on this site lack the ambition of learning the basics and going through failures many more times until they got it.

Just my 2 cents. ;-)

SZ's picture

I vow to change, and I want my situation to be better than its ever been in the next 6 months.

I never been time oriented until some time last year, I know before I would leave the same old comments over and over again for years, but I wasn't aware of how much time I wasted until recently.

I'm talking about my growth as a person, not really girls, they can be added to it too, but they're not as important.

I want many things and have been wanted them, I have to get then now.

My only problems are doubt and uncertainty, that's what's holding my mindset back.

1. I keep thinking about all of these years where I tried to improve myself and have failed, 5+ years, I'm in a worse position in my life than I have been ever, and now, I want to be in the best position this year and better every year after that, in the next 6 months no less. I'm tired of not being remotely successful.

All I ask of you is, how can I stop my main doubt, which is "if you have been trying to succeed in life for this many years, how can you succeed now? , you have been trying to succeed for over 5 years, how can you achieve more in 6 months?"

That is what's in the back of my mind haunting me, it's what makes me want to give up.

What I mean by succeeding is not being a man child, I want to make some moves.

I just got turned down by another low paying job today, so I'm lost.

I keep applying, but nothing. Anyway, do you know how I could beat that mindset I keep having?

2. Do you think it's possible to turn your life around in 6 months ?

SZ's picture

Hey chase,

So I just got done reading your day game vs night game article, thank God it was only a year ago, I thought it was gonna be like 2012.

Anyway I'm lost because it seems with night game, we should go for snl and nothing else because numbers are garbage, I agree and have had all of my flakes come from them, I had enough numbers for a phone book with no luck. I wasn't even the 1-20 you said that the chances were from the article.

Anyway, I never tried a same night lay because I felt that I wasn't ready to do that yet because I couldn't get a girl on a date from the club.

But it seems that I was supposed to do the opposite and go for the snl.

I don't really see you tell me to stop going to the club, just to focus more on talking instead of dancing, so I guess you don't mind me going there for a reason.

I'm guessing you want me to go for snl? Instead of numbers then? Or is there another reason you haven't told me to stop going to the club and just do day game, or just pull them home.

I haven't tried it because I didn't feel I was ready, but if that's what I have to do to improve please tell me because I haven't tried snl and maybe that's why I've been going through so many flakes.

I'm just wondering, is there a point going to the club if you're not going for snl?

Anyway, do I have to start going for snl? Or Do I have to start focusing on day game and come back to clubs later? Or is there another reason you didn't really tell me to just quit night game?

I'm at the point where I'll try anything because the numbers from clubs have not worked for me once.

Gil's picture

Since when did men want to hit on all women? Do dating advice coaches act surprised that guys aren't looking to be successful with women per se but with the few they have their eye on? After all, look at the women who decorate this website: young attractive women who make up no more 20% of the population of women. To a certain extent they are special: they unlike most women. They're women who can have serious options in the dating market.

anonymous 's picture

Hi Chase,

All of my friends have moved :(

I've always been a loner and have kept my circle very tight, so they are people who I only hang out with. I'm a very quiet person, I'm not some guy that goes around looking for new friends, or being a social butterfly.

Now I'll be doing things on my own, but don't know how to do it.

I would do everything on my own now, from hanging out, eating out, bars, clubs, parties, everything.

How do I still have fun as a loner, but not look like a loser, or feel like one?

I don't want to stay in the house, but I also don't want to look like some loser loner.

Thank you

Poinan's picture

Chase,

I'm in awe by your ability to analyze and break down things. How can I develop such amazing analytical skills as yours? Does have IQ have something to do with it ?

Anonymous 's picture

Hi Chase,

Do you think masturbating destroys your drive for taking control of your life and motivation, even if you don't watch porn?

Growing up I used to do it a lot and I was very timid, low self beleif, and hated sports, I'm wondering if that's why? I use to do it like 3 times a day.

I do it now, but it's more here and there. Sometimes I have days where I do it 3x, but I was wondering if I did it once a week or every other week, would that be good for my motivation and for me to start doing better in life and to be more aggressive?

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase,

First off I think this is a great article, I've also dealt with friends like this and it is quite a frustrating phenomenon. It seems weird that there are those who refuse to take your advice and decide to instead do things their own way, however will still continually come to you when they run into problems.

My conundrum is of another sort entirely. Basically I have always been a more school oriented individual, yet have been able to greatly increase my skills as a seducer even in my limited spare time through the tips provided by you and your team. However, as next year I will be attending medical school (which I am ecstatic about), I am worried that I won't have time to work on pick-up as a skill at all. Do you have any tips for continuing to improve or at least retaining the progress I've made/continually getting laid while going through an extremely rigorous educational programs or do you think I should just focus on school and then return to the world of pick-up after I'm done (which would be hard/saddening yet I will if I must).

Thanks a lot

Anonymous 's picture

Hi Chase,
If you work 8 hours a day and want to lift weights, get girls, and learn a money making skill, how many hours do you think would be good to work on that skill each day to not overwork yourself, but enough to get decently better?

And how many hours would you put in with that skill for the weekends? I'm going to do programming then I want to do copywrite.

.What do you think are some employable skills I could learn online to help me get better jobs? I want to learn skills that employers find attractive and I want to self-teach myself . I'm mostly talking about light skills, like experience, not programming or any time consuming skill. Like excel, sales, customer service, or skills people like in general for them to be more of an attractive candidate than others.

. How do I become a man and handle things like one? When I have depression or anxiety, I get sad, get emotionally sensitive, and feel defeated, I end up getting down on myself and don't do anything. I never was taught how to be a man, but I'd like to know how I can push through and keep finding ways to win.

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