You're Passing Up the Hottest, Coolest Girls | Girls Chase

You're Passing Up the Hottest, Coolest Girls

hottest coolest girlsWhen I first moved to California, I set up a number of dates in advance (thanks, online dating!) so that I’d be able to hit the ground running when I got there.

My first date I set up for one week after I’d arrived (I wanted a little time to unpack and make my place presentable first... plus, after a 5-day cross-country drive, I really just wanted to settle in for a few days and see some friends in town before I dialed up on girls).

When that first date showed up one week later, I was floored – she’d looked good in her pictures, but in person she was absolutely smoking hot. I fell instantly in love. But she never quite reciprocated those emotions to me, and when we ended up back at my apartment at the end of the date and I tried to kiss her, she rejected this, told me she was uncomfortable, and left.

My second date was the next night. For this date, I drove about 30 minutes north of town and met her near where she lived. She met me wearing a white, modest wedding-style dress (unbeknownst to me, she’d apparently just gotten married – when I saw it, I thought, “Is that a wedding dress? Nah... there’s no way,” but apparently, it was), sipping a plastic cup of champagne. She was very cute, with a quite attractive face and waist-length hair, but I wasn’t super impressed at the time. We slept together a few hours later, and I was pretty happy then, because not only did she have a pretty face and great hair, but her body was absolutely killer. I hadn’t really realized it when I saw her in her modest (wedding) dress.

The girl from the first date I saw a few more times over the years, and only years later did I realize that face-wise, she wasn’t really that cute. And body-wise, well, she was thin by American standards, but not so by international ones, and her breasts were non-existent.

She just dressed and acted sexy. Bright colors, big sunglasses that left more of her face to the imagination, alternately suggestive and aloof behavior, like what we talked about in “Elegance, Sexiness, and Average, Normal People.”

Yet, she’d been the one I was excited about, while the one who was the whole package I’d merely thought “meh” at the time about.

And I see so many guys doing this all the time, getting caught up on the wrong girls, and then getting bitter because of how those girls treat them.

It’s kind of a clown show that we all fall victim to.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

John C's picture

A month back I did the exactly same thing you are writing about and it worked. Now, I have a naturally beatiful, but very down to earth, no playing games girlfriend,

Great article Chase !

David Riley's picture

Hey John,

I'm glad to hear about your success and I wish you the best in your relationship.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Chase, you ever mentioned to find
someone women find sexy ( generally a celebrity ) and copy him. (posture,
movement, facial expressions, dressing style,...)
I'm quite young so I think that the actor Ian Somehalder is a good
role model. However, I can't help thinking that he is so good with girls only
because of his amazing good looks. I ALWAYS hear girls comment
on his looks ONLY, never on his walk, movement, .....
Your opinion? And do you think that Ian Somerhalder is a good model
when it comes to sexiness?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

Ian Somehalder is like you said an example of a good looking guy who women fawn over because of his good looks. I'm sure Ian does have some fundamentals that do help him get laid other than his celebrity status. Here's the thing looks without fundamentals is not going to get you laid.

When you look at someone like James Bond, he's a perfect example. He's got the sexy style that makes women go nuts. Now granted I know he's not a "real" person, but when you watch the films you want to mimic her mannerisms, such as:

Leading
Cool under pressure
Decisive
Not afraid to take action
Makes moves on women
Isn't consumed with one woman
How he moves slow

These are the same fundamentals that we strive to teach men on the website and ultimately the same thing you want to mimic. Now with Ian he's a good example of good looks. James Bond is an example of a overall complete sexy package, and how to become sexy.

Take care,

Just Dave

esahc etnama's picture

Chase, please make an article on hairstyles.
For now, I have a question concerning this. Your advise Chase/Dave will be helpful.
I'm an Asian guy, athletic looking with dark brown skin tone.
I wear small, sophisticated rectangular glasses. Based on my details,
what hairstyle do you think will suit me best? My actual hairstyle
is quite short and spikey hair. And oh, I forgot to mention : long hair
is NOT attractive on me so advise me only stylish and sexy short or medium length haircuts .
Thanks guys.

Anonymous's picture

As a fellow Asian man, I've tried various hairstyles. The ones that work for me would be Daniel Craig's hairstyle in Casino Royale and Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black. My hairstylist has also tried somewhat spikey hairstyles on me though I would have to be wearing contacts in order for that style to work on me. In order words, the hairstyle is incongruent to what people assume about me as an Asian man, especially in my work environment as an engineer. You can still project masculinity through body language by doing things such as having a good posture, a sexy walk, and bulging biceps.

Also, have you considered wearing contacts? I, too, am muscular in build with dark skin tone. I noticed that with glasses on, even with my really toned biceps showing that I still look nerdy and wimpy. As soon as the glasses come off, I see a world of difference.

I call it the Clark Kent-Superman Paradox.

esahc etnama 's picture

Thanks for the advise, man, really helpful.
For the contacts, I will definitely get them but in some time.
However, I have tried taking off my glasses when I didn't need
them and yes, I passed from Clark Kent to Superman!

David Riley's picture

Hey Guys,

I will let Chase and the other authors know about the possibility of an article on hairstyles for Asian men.

Just Dave

Michal's picture

Hi, Chase.
I kinda got into eye what "hot" really means, I dont know how and why exactly. Anyways as you mentioned I always looked at the face first because that is where beauty is, body can be shaped and changed. However some of your articles made me think of this how hottest girls want best guys. I understand that and it reasonable but then again I know I am not the best in my area and I am pretty sure there is some guy in her social circle that is her wanna-be-with-him guy. Maybe he screwed up and is out of picture for her and she friend-zoned him but that would not fall under the term that she wants him but there are some obstacles.

Also as I see for most of these girls life in a week is what I do in cca. 18 days. I mean visiting this place, going there, seeing this movie, etc. It shows me they are on a different level and I dont feel entitled to even try anything on her - these are girls at work. With those I approach I have no idea what their real value is just by her behaviour but I am still scared that at one point she might realize there is value gap in between us and lose her.

So I focus on my life mostly, improving areas there and I get challenged a lot nowadays. Especially by (former) friends who try to keep me down at their level. Like "You exercise so much but you dont seem to be physically enhanced". Basically attacking my working out gym sessions. You said high value people dont deal with it because they dont have time to deal with everyone. So I ignore this guy because he would keep saying shit with his own reasons. But where is that line where you "just get" challenged and where it is basically attack on you as a person? When I twist that statement a lot it can mean like he does not approve my "wanting" of being bigger and stronger and that playing football is more important.

Michal

David Riley's picture

Hey Michal,

You often want to avoid hitting on women at your job until you've become really experienced. It's like cutting a wire, cut the wrong wire and your toast. When practicing your skills in seduction, it's best to practice on girls you won't see again. Basically, you wanna focus on cold approaches. This way if you mess up during an interaction, its okay because there's no consequence.

Now as far as your friend hating on the fact you're working out, people will do that. People for some reason get mad when you attempt to improve yourself. The reason is a lot of times they're jealous because they don't have the courage to improve themselves. The thing about it is you can't let people stop you from doing what you love. Because then you'll be at the same level they are. A lot of times you have to explain to people you're doing it for you. If they don't like, they have to deal with it. You have your own life to live and people have already lived there's.

Take care,

Just Dave

The M's picture

Hey Chase,

OK, I love the main point of the article and will apply it, but I'm also a bit confused by some things you mentioned.

Fundamentals: In your "cold approach works better than anything else" article, you contrasted the differences in the thought process of a (flashy?) girl being approached by the nerdy dumpy guy vs. the attractive guy. Attractive guy won big-time. But HERE, you're saying that your truly beautiful girlfriends went right ahead and dated the nerdy dumpy guys because of their cool and interesting personalities, etc. So...what happened? Can I be nerdy and dumpy and get a truly beautiful girl?

Love at first sight: It seems that your gut reaction is leading you to the well dressed/made-up girls, like the first online dating girl you mentioned - you were "in love" right away. But then the ones that are really beautiful and great for you are actually the ones who don't give you that feeling?

Personality issues: You drew a comparison between yourself and the hot girls - you both have to dress great, get expensive haircuts, work out, etc. to look good. And they apparently have lots of personality/self-esteem problems. How come you don't have all those same personality problems?

Caliber without beauty: Here's something that I don't think has been mentioned on this site before. What about girls who are less beautiful? And not flashy. But still high-caliber in other ways. If you look at top women in many fields, they don't have the most stunning facial/body features, and they're certainly not flashy, but they have a level of focus and ambition and achievement that would blow a lot of pretty faces/bodies out of the water. Even though I am more attracted to the pretty girls, is it really a good idea to rule out these less pretty but more accomplished girls?

Best,
The M

Author
Chase Amante's picture

M-

There's always a chance, but also bear in mind that there are LOTS of frumpy guys but comparatively fewer pretty girls who want to date them. Most of these guys when they get a girl like this are floored because it's the only time they've had a girl like her (and they won't get another one like her after she gets bored and breaks up with them).

Nothing's ever guaranteed, but fixing your fundamentals vs. staying frumpy is the difference between giving yourself a 1-out-10 shot vs. staying put at a 1-out-1000 shot... or thereabouts.

Re: in love - can only speak for myself, but with every girlfriend I've had I felt a strong "Wow - that girl" emotion that made me certain this was a girl I HAD to have. It's some kind of compatibility thing. Some were dressed flashily when I met them, but others were not at all. The feeling with a standard issue sexy girl in revealing clothes is excitement, but not the same. In the case of the first girl, we really did end up having a strong connection, and while she didn't check my logical boxes, emotionally she did.

Personality issues - who said I didn't? ;) Anyway, it's a spectrum - at the extreme end of the male spectrum I suppose you'd have the guys who are super conscious about their bodies, put on solid muscle and keep all the fat off, wear only the finest clothes, etc., and those will generally be the guys with the most weird psychological stuff going on. I'm not as extreme - I go out in t-shirts all the time, wear my glasses instead of contact lenses, let my hair get crazy, etc. If I had to guess, I'm in the "above average" box of flashiness / madness.

Or there may be sex differences - in most species, the males make themselves flashy for drab females, and females pick the flashiest male to mate with. Some guys try to do this with wealth; others with social status; some guys try to use fashion, posture, nonverbal, etc. fundamentals.

Re: high caliber, less attractive women - well, I never said what your standards had to be! That's very different for everyone. Even if you set a standard of "must be beautiful", that's highly subjective from guy to guy. Often what Guy A thinks is a stunner Guy B is not attracted to, and vice versa. And it's quite common for unattractive women to be so charismatic or such stunning conversationalists that men compete for them regardless - Cleopatra was this way, for instance - unattractive, but so poised and stately that the most powerful men in the world all courted her hand.

Chase

The M's picture

Thanks for the fast reply, Chase! As usual, you cleared up my confusion with admirable precision.

M

moonriver's picture

Chase:

Dude, you have the gift of clarity, my friend. This post just nails it.

And your writing talents are killer. You have this ability to distill complex subjects in plain English while still sprinkling in a few rhetorical gems ... whether it be the "carnival of the bizarre" or "whirlwind of chaos", those phrases beautifully capture the moment. As they say, brevity is the soul of wit.

Keep up the good work.

Anonymous's picture

Lol Chase you remind me of the story about a chinese who got birth to an ugly child and the man complained, he even opened a case against his wife only to found out that his wife used plastic surgery before they met. She was supposed to pay some cash more than $100 000 lol because the man won the case!

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

I actually laughed reading that comment. Yes, men do have to be careful about the type of women they court.

Just Dave

Gentle_Phrases's picture

Chase, this article makes me feel uneasy. I can't tell if it's because you're drawing nearer to some sort of strange truth or because you're suggesting a mental model that feels like it has an important part missing...or both.

Interesting stuff. Really has me thinking.

If in your experience naturally beautiful women so often end up with dumpy-frumpy guys, who don't parallel them in looks or lifestyle, couldn't making yourself a much more attractive man (in the "hot" sense via cosmetics, surgery, dominance, and an expensive gym membership) make you LESS attractive to them? In fact, the "flashier" you become in that sense, the more you'd be more likely to attract "hot" women who are screening for such qualities...the sort of women who are the most apt to reject you with impunity. So wouldn't there be a different self-improvement "route" to follow to attract naturally beautiful women, so to speak?

Krauserpua runs a pretty good blog on daygame with plenty of proof of his exploits. The other day he sent out a tweet that really puzzled me. He said:

"Some players fuck habitual sluts. Some players fuck normal girls on their occasional indiscretion. It's not the same game."

How do you feel about that?Is there some connection here?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

GP-

Note this - "who don't parallel them in looks or lifestyle" - not what I said! People tend to choose mates who are at a certain level of mate value to them. So, for instance, for one girl, a gorgeous surfer dude with a good sense of humor but who's kind of a bum may have roughly the same mate value as an average-looking guy who's rather charming and is successful in his career. The one guy's the "fun" guy she'll date for kicks, the other's the "serious" guy she'll want as a boyfriend, but she'll find both attractive. Of course, she'd LIKE the guy who's the whole package, but he may not be accessible to her.

As for whether upping your looks or other attractive things about yourself making it harder to get girls - yes, it does, if you don't make the corresponding adjustments to make yourself more attainable. Why is why attainability is such a huge part of attraction! All things being equal though, a highly attractive man who still seems attainable to her is going to be more desirable than a less attractive man who's also attainable... but highly attractive, attainable men are very rare commodities for nearly all women; most are forced to make compromises in their dating choices.

As for Krauser's quote - that's a great quote, and very true. If I had to point out a connection, it's that flashy girls do tend to be sexually looser, whereas less flashy girls tend to be the "normal" girls, yes. Not always; lots of exceptions (especially among the "non-flashy girls" category); but that's generally the rule. That's probably another contributing reason to why some guys get so frustrated about it - they know the flashy girls are sleeping with lots of guys, but they won't sleep with THEM, which feels quite "unfair"... everybody else gets to dip his breadstick in these girls' garlic butter sauce, so why can't he? Sleeping with slutty girls is not an issue of just showing up though (unless you're really good looking); there's actually a certain kind of game they need. Personally, I had a much harder time with "sluts" for a number of years than I did with "normal" girls... it took me a number of years to reach the point I could sleep with them consistently, actually (mostly attainability issues, but also some things they are looking for that I did not used to provide).

Chase

Gentle_Phrases's picture

“…Not what I said!” Whoops, didn't mean to put words in your mouth there. Thanks for the clarification, Chase. I'll reread that part of your ebook.

*Lol, I appreciated your garlic butter joke, by the way, you perv ;)

"Sleeping with slutty girls…there's actually a certain kind of game they need." - light-bulb moment! I had an experience in a club last week that validated your comment AND this entire post *forehead slap*.

Cliff Notes:

Two sisters attractive sisters "adopted" me for the entire night in a club and wouldn't let me out of their sight (so serious) after I approached them with my VERY best effort. I got to watch the "hot/bitchy/scantily clad" sister hunt for and get plenty of free drinks, invited to the VIP (she dragged me along and the guys let me in JUST because I was "with her"), orbited - yet not approached - by men much more attractive than me, and given multiple invitations to "after-parties."

The "beautiful/NON-flashy/conservatively dressed" sister, who was very, very pretty - objectively moreso than her sister - received no approaches that night, other than mine.

...

+1

Funman's picture

Hi Chase,

Great article as always.

1) Are they any venues you meet beautiful girls? Perhaps any hobbies etc? Do you mostly meet beautiful girls via social circle?

2) Any places to avoid when you are looking to meet beautiful girls?

3) Does your outer game changes when talking with beautiful girls in comparison to when communicating with hot girls?

Thanks in advance,

Funman

David Riley's picture

Hey Funman,

Here are some helpful article relating to what you asked about.

Where to Meet Girls
Difference When talking to a Hot Girl
How to Start a Conversation with a Hot Girl

Let me know if you have anymore questions.

Take care,

Just Dave

Gentle_Phrases's picture

.

Tyler's picture

Hey Chase,
Thanks for taking the time to write this insightful piece. It was an excellent read and totally resonated with me. It sure is easy to be distracted by the flash, but I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for those diamonds in the rough!
Tyler

Anonymous's picture

So if by chance that "accidentally" a guy bedded with one of those flashy girls, then how does the guy dismiss her requests after, like relationship or future meetings? Surely the guys that bedded her before left her bitter, so is there way around that?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

A lot of times you can tell a girl you're too busy for a relationship. I can girls that I travel a lot and do a lot of work projects, so I won't be around that much. This shifts the blame more on myself, this way she won't personally feel rejected and bitter. Women will only get mad when you promise them a relationship and then don't deliver.

Take care,

Just Dave

Jamar's picture

Hey Chase hold up a second.
So your saying approach the natural beauties instead of the girl puppets because they generally nicer. But wouldn't ut necessarily still be bad if a girl who is nice is generally not mean hard for her if shes not interested. I mean what if your chasing her and shes pressured to be vague about her feelings so she doesn't.

Franco's picture

Jamar,

There's a simple answer to this one: don't chase her and she doesn't have to be mean. =)

Although, in most cases, you'll just find that the nice girls tend to stop responding to your text messages and phone calls after awhile because they aren't sure how else to tell you "no" without offending you.

- Franco

Colt Williams's picture

Jamar,

Franco is absolutely right. When of my best girl friends is gorgeous and she is one of the sweetest girls I know. She'll go on dates with pretty much any guy who has some level of value just to give him a chance. If she ends up not being interested, she hates being mean. Even when I call her out on it, she'll say "I don't want to be mean to him. I'll just ignore him and hope he gets the point :-)"

-Colt

David Riley's picture

It seems like everyone knows a girl like this. I cosign what Franco said and endorse Colt because I know girls like this too. Unfortunately, most guys will still hopelessly chase these girls.

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Hah, loved this post, quite eye-opening,witty, and loved the anecdotes too! Keep them coming!

Driver's picture

Awesome article man.

On the subject of validation, I was wondering what you think about stripping a girl of validation, or withholding validation to get her to chase. Is this something you do or would recommend? I've had success with it and it's boosted my results, and some girls chase harder than I've ever seen until I mess up and validate them. I feel bit bad doing it but as long as they see me as having even slightly higher status/value it works.

Examples would be obviously patronizing them if they try to impress. Telling them that what they're trying to impress me with is boring. Etc.

You might know where I got this idea from. Another great in the community. I was wondering where you stand on it. I don't think I've ever seen you write on it. Thanks. Cheers man.

J's picture

Hey guys question, is a girl who cuts herself.... even once worth going for I like one girl in particular but didn't know she cut herself is she emotionally stable or should i becareful

David Riley's picture

Hey J,

When a person mutilates themselves, even if it happened just "once", they need some help. The thing about dealing with emotional people is they are very unpredictable and spontaneous. You never know what they may end up doing. Another thing too is you don't want someone like that to get attached to you because it make them behave worse. People tend to get upset over things they can't control. The mentality normally for someone who cuts themselves is because they feel it's the only pain they can "control". I would avoid it because it will affect your overall mindset. I'm sure she may seem like a cool girl but it's best to distance yourself before its too late. I use to go to school that had some depressed girls in it, and they cut themselves. It was very sad, but unfortunately there was nothing I could do to really help them. Except tell someone else so they could get the help they need. Just my thoughts.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase/David:

Writing from India. This is what happened recently in a big city in India with me :D

I met a girl in a queue for lunch in college. While talking we started flirting and all and we moved to a table where she chose to sit away from her classmates even though she had just met me. Then she mentioned in the course of the conversation 5 times no less that I must be knowing this city really well. I guess she wanted me to show her around and I told her I would. I gave her my number and we exchanged the numbers. She had a class-we are college students-so she went off for her class. I messaged her her that she could call me when she wanted to explore the city :). She responded immediately that she would for sure. A few hours later I phoned up and casually said we could go to a nearby restaurant and have dinner there. Then she said that she and her friends were planning to go out to eat and asked me to join. So we all went off for dinner-though my instinct told me not to :(. In the auto rickshaw ride to and from the restaurant we were travelling together and even together she kept playing with her hair all the time. In the restaurant too she told me that we should go out together on Saturday morning for breakfast and that she was so keen to see every part of the city, after which I said that we would do so. When we finally reached the college, I moved her to a place and we chatted for a while. She got a call, and quickly ended it. I (perhaps stupidly) asked her whether that was her boyfriend/significant other. She got uncomfortable and said it was just a friend and that she had to leave. I walked her to her place, which is an apartment complex near the college. At the complex gate she said she has an early morning class and so she would have to go inside. There was a male security guard there-and this is India-though a very liberal city and college-and I got cold feet about actually going inside. She gave me her hand but I hugged her from the side. Then I asked her how her schedule looked and she said about group outings but I pointed out that that we could go out-just the two of us. She nodded her head and I held her hand for a few seconds. I then messaged her at night that it was great talking to you "pretty girl" and that I would see her tommorrow. After half an hour she messaged stating that "yeah sure thanks :)". In the morning because of various reasons I didn't run into her and at lunch though I messaged her, I couldn't make it to the lunch table because of some work. So effectively I would up telling her I would meet her at lunch but did not do so. Later on, in the afternoon and evening I called her up-as I did not want to sit around doing nothing-and casually enquired how her schedule looked during the weekend and whether she would be free during the weekend. She told me on phone and in person-that she had to go attend something during the weekend and that she had to get cracking on her project. So from being madly keen to go out with me
What went wrong and where? Can anybody diagnose this? What could I have done differently?
Also, after I started working on my fundamentals like posture, dress, voice and so on., I notice more girls paying attention, giving me second and even third looks and responding more warmly-thanks Chase-but the big problem I have is a girl being very nice to me in the beginning and very warm but later getting cold and aloof completely. For a long time I used to just imagine that things would simply happen but now I have gotten used to the idea of actually approaching and asking for dates. This was the first time I did so-that too on the day I met the girl-and now I know she must have been attracted to me that she chose to sit with me over her own classmates. But was my big mistake not calling her soon after her class ended? It ended at 4 pm and I called at 7.30-800 pm to invite her for dinner. Anyway, thanks for your help-first time in my life I even asked a girl for a date within just a day or two! But how to avoid girls getting cold?

Gem's picture

Wonderful reflective piece Chase… honestly there’s a ton I could comment and discuss regarding this article but will relieve you of having to sit and read through a long verbose thread of that sort.

I’ll be extra wary (in the days to come) of keeping my eyes peeled for beautiful women separate from the hot women my eyes are magnetically pulled to.

Hope all is well with you and that your other startups are coming along all right :)

-Gem

David Riley's picture

Hey Gem,

I'm glad you got something from this article and even after reading yesterday, I saw a difference in my interactions with women. One thing I want to note that since Chase has me helping out with comments, I have noticed him answering guys questions lately on articles. Feel free to say whatever is on your mind and if you need help with something I feel Chase should answer himself, I'll pass it on too him.

Take care,

Just Dave

Gem's picture

Hey Dave,

Thanks for the reply… noted on the thought about the comments… I’ve read on and off from girlschase for quite a while now and various pieces of what Chase has had to say have been key elements in causing me to shift paradigms and form/consider new viewpoints (many of which have become central and rudimentary in regard to my life today).

I really respect Chase and all he does. In addition I’ve always known that it’s important to be around and learn from your heroes. That thought plus me having a really insatiable curiosity (that has gotten me in trouble more than a few times) has led me to coming back to this site time and again to ask Chase about stuff that has stumped me (usually asking about business or philosophical puzzlers more than seduction; stuff that I’ve been entertaining in my head but couldn’t really ask anyone other than a wise, learned mentor).

Glad to see that you and some of the other capable/accomplished senior members of the site are taking some of Chase’s workload answering the questions (I knew that the day would come where the opportunity cost for Chase of answering all the comments all the time would depreciate to a nadir).

Will ask you/Chase any important questions I have in the future and look forward to reading the articles to come of the site :)

-Gem

David Riley's picture

No Worries Gem,

It's what we're here to do, Chase has done so much for all of us, it's time we help him out a bit. I'm glad to her about things going well for and you talking on bigger and more challenging positions. Any question you have in the posts that I feel Chase could definitely answer, I will pass on to him. I'm glad to hear that you are still reading the sight and getting very constructive things out of it.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Dear Anon,
As you know the principles of gaming are a lot different in INDIA. being an Indian i must say moving them TOO FAST and bedding them here would defenitely backfire unless she`s a W . The best thing that works in INDIA is not to put em on pedestal and never ever CHASE THEM, i mean NEVER.She must be gettin huge amount of texts and calls from other guys already .What have you done to make yourself stand out from the rest??.The posture ,voice ,Dressing everything and the response is a huge plus.But I`m not quite sure about the amount of texts and phone calls in such a short span.That sounds little pushy and needy for a first date.Especially a date with her friends and the Question about the Phone call .That must have killed the game.She must have smelled the desperation. Always remember to

1. Keep your frame.
2. Never Chase.
3. Be nonchalant with phone calls or any other distractions unless ur in LOVE.
4. Abundance mentality.

But every little experience will make your game lot better.:)

Happy fishing

Anonymous's picture

Anonymous, being an Indian your response was timely. Much of what this site says is indeed useful and has already slowly started having an effect. What do you mean when you say "keep your frame?". Also, when you like a girl and want to invite her for a date, how exactly do you do it without making it feel like you're shoehorning her into your schedule? I ask this because when you do ask a girl for a date, this site says you shouldn't ask her to call you etc. It says take the path of least resistance. So how to ask for a date in India in a way that leaves it clear you respect her so want to it be when she is free. So you want to ask her what time/day works for her. How to do so? Also, how soon after you realize you like a girl should you ask for a date-in Indian situations? How fast can you move?

Secondly, I am trying to slowly ramp up my sexiness and attractiveness. I want to work on one aspect at a time. Right now I am trying to be more attractive to women in general rather than winning over a particular girl. In particular my fashion sense. Any other tips for a guy working on his sexiness?

Anonymous's picture

Hey Dave,
I am starting to turn myself into a man because of this site, and now I have noticed that girls are giving me attention, in my highschool, I was with a group of friends, and some other girls came over to my group, and we all talked eventually one girl fake "whispered" to another girl saying I was handsome, the other girl replied "yea hes hot", I looked at them and gave a small smile and Blushed, I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, this has been going on for several weeks now, where I am in a hallway and girl passes and smiles at me, or a girl calls my name or something, or a girl stands close to me in class and whispers in my ear, I am not used to girls acting this way towards me, I always blush and I guess pretty bashful, I just want my cheeks to stop getting red, how do I stop this? How do I stop blushing?

One other question, if a girl flirts with me in the group we are in, can I call her on it and participate, like "your just trying to butter me up so you can get in my pants" or something like that, or will the girl distance herself from me after to not seem sexual?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

In high school, I actually found that if you rub your cheeks and relax it will stop blood from going that direction for the most part. Now depending on your complexion is won't completely stop it. For the most part you want to contain yourself and relax. Take some deep but non noticable breaths and just keep cool. You have to treat these comments like they're no big deal. The girls are more than likely doing it because they like seeing the effect it has on you. They more than likely believe it's cute and or adorable. This could help or hurt you depending how you allow it to play out. In high school it's okay for guys to be cute ,but by the time you're 19 to 21 women will want you to be more sexy. This is why I refer to high school as the more forgiving time period with girls because they're figuring things out just like you.

As far as the comments, depending on the group the but line to use would be "You probably say that to every guy don't you." You can use the one about her getting into your pants when your talking to just her. Otherwise some people in the group will take it the wrong way. This typically applies if the girls don't see you already as a edgy and bad boy type of guy. You can gradually wean your way into more sexual comments, but you don't want to start right off the bat with them. As a result you can easily transition from cute to sexy in no time. Hope that helps.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

It's funny I always have said to my friends that if I do get married it would most probably be to a very pretty girl, not a super "hot" one.

And you highlighted all the points of why I've been saying this for a while.

Good stuff, Chase.

David Riley's picture

Are the Best Girls ;)

Anonymous's picture

Can you ask one of the writers to make an article on how to make a woman regret dumping or cheating on you?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

I will let Chase and the other authors know about your request.

Just Dave

Bolt's picture

Hey Chase/Dave,
After reading this article and the "How much do looks matter in romantic success?" I'm curious, how do you guys really tell if a woman is beautiful beyond the makeup? I've been looking at pictures of celebrities with and without makeup and jeez makeup can make a huge difference (just google Scarlet Johansson no makeup). I've been finding it hard to tell how beautiful some of these women are. For example, I'd see a picture of a celebrity posing sexily and wearing makeup and then I'd look at her image with no makeup and she's not nearly as stunning! So my question is how can you really get an idea of how a woman would look if she wasn't striking a sexy pose and wearing tons of makeup?

David Riley's picture

Hey Bolt,

To answer your question, I highly recommend looking at the face, and I mean really look at it. I was at the gym today when I noticed a slender and curvy woman working out next to me who was staring at me. I looked in her direction and I was so taken aback but how hideous her face was all I could say was "hi". I said it just to be polite and then went back to my work out. Everything was great but her face, otherwise known as a butter face.

Another example actually happened after I got done working out at Chipotle. I walked into Chipotle and was standing in line and I noticed a short petite girl behind me. I started to open her then realized that she got had way too much make up on. I was so turned off that I just let our conversation fade off. A girl can get implants, work out as much as she wants too, but unless she gets cosmetic surgery there isn't much she can do about her face. That's why I highly recommend checking out her face first. Hope that helps.

Take care,

Just Dave

luc's picture

You mention high quality naturally beautiful girls dating dumpy-looking guys because they're not superficial.

If these girls don't care much about style themselves and don't care so much about how their BFs look, why bothering with "game" and top notch style and walking with splayed legs and all that "alpha male: stuff?

David Riley's picture

Hey Luc,

The answer is fundamentals not every guy is spectacular at holding a conversation. Even if a girl's boyfriend isn't just superficial he had to know how to get women interested in him. He had to know how not to put her on a pedestal and chase her. He would have had to spend time to know what makes him appear sexy to women. He would have had to develop a sexy walk and smile. He would have to had learned how to be decisive and make a move. He more than likely knew how to lead these toward sex with her. These are a lot of facts that guys tend to overlook when dealing with women.

Here's the mind blowing thing, men and women look for different traits to measure attraction. While a man looks at a girl and instantly thinks she's either cute or not and then chooses to approach. Women tend to look more at a man's personality. I'm not saying you can look like a bum because you still have to look decent. Women want to know are you an exciting guy or a regular everyday guy. Women want men who understand their emotions and can connect with them. Now this is where must guys stop, they build emotional connections. However, if you build an emotional connection with a women with a sexual connection. You end up as her friend.

Game is necessary for guys to not get caught up in the wrong girls. Game gives guys a better shot of dealing with women. Because a lot of times everyday guys are clueless about dealing with women. Women on the other hand have been studying how to deal with men for years. This is why a lot of times women may appear cold and heartless to guys who get rejected by them. On the contrary these women know what they want and a lot of guys don't fit that picture. Game gives guys a better shot of fitting the picture that helps them attract women.

Take care,

Just Dave

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