How and Where to Move Overseas as a Single Man | Girls Chase

How and Where to Move Overseas as a Single Man

We've periodically had different readers ask about this topic, and I've had it on our list of articles to write up for sometime - how do you move overseas and have it go well? Several of the questions readers have asked:

Chase, you are a true champ. All your material has really helped with confidence. I have started reading "How to Make a Girl Chase" and plan to start doing the homework assignments once the semester ends ;)

I would be extremely interested in seeing a post about moving abroad, going on that next adventure, getting out of your comfort zone, and "making it all up as you go."

move overseas

... that's from Lupo in the article on how to be smooth. Here's another:

Hey Chase, a little off topic but I'd like to see a post on moving out of the country and just traveling with a suitcase around different places. It seems like this would automatically make a person much more interesting by giving them entirely new reference points, as you talked about in the below post. Maybe something about the logistics and psychology of it would be interesting. I'd like to follow in your footsteps to Europe or Asia and leave the boring, expected, average corporate world in my dust.

... from Anonymous in "Girlfriend Moody? It's in Her Genes (But You Can Fix It)."

So let's talk about it - let's talk moving abroad, traveling overseas, travel hacks, lifestyles, money, food, friends, and women. I've broken this (rather lengthy) article down into four (4) sections, hyperlinked here for ease of browsing:

Should be fun.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Franco's picture

I imagine I'll be printing this out before I start picking my traveling locations around the world in the near future. This feels like a complete handbook for setting correct expectations, planning, and going to exotic places with beautiful women and awesome attractions.

Thanks for taking the time to write this one, Chase. =)

- Franco

Reinhard's picture

Hello Chase,

a week ago I finished a short two month trip of some major eastern european cities and like to adjust/extend some of your points. In no particular order:

Poland (based on Warsaw/Krakow):
The girls were definitely the most open on my entire tour. Looks wise (face) not particular, but they are lean. They are easy to talk to if you have at least some remotely solid fundamentals - in that case they will even approach you for a change! English language knowledge is somewhat average, i.e. its hit and miss. Stick to college girls.

Ex-Yugoslavia (Zagreb and Belgrade):
Girls are generally quite beautiful (faces!), lean and have larger breasts than in Poland. English language knowledge is good, i.e. better than in Poland. However, girls are less open than in Poland. They will clearly and unmistakenly signal you, if they are interested, but you still have to do all the work.

Romania (Bucharest):
Stay away from here. The city is outright ugly. The nightlife is boring - compared to Belgrade/Budapest/Warsaw there is only a very small selection of "real" bars and clubs. Like in Greece a club is often understood to be a cafe+loud music. So you have lots of cafe-tables where you sit with 2 or 3 friends. Not an environment where you can get to know new people. Girls are lean, faces average, but quite closed personalities - so they will hardly give any signals, even if they are interested.

Greece (Athens and Thessaloniki):
Very strange. Girls are beautiful, they really take care of themselfs in the nightlife. Everyone speaks English well. But boy are they hard to get, i.e. they are very aloof and closed (no signals!) but tend to warm up once realising you are not a local. Strangely several expats and locals ensured me, that the "clear majority" of married greek women has regular affairs. Nonetheless, you hardly find any clubs and bars in the city. Basically all nightlife is cafes (optionally with music, what they call a "club") and people stick with those they already know. So lacking many bars/clubs its hard to get involved intially. Though I heard that in summer the greek islands are a tourist hotspot and hooking up with girls on vacation is supposed to be easy there.

Turkey (Istanbul):
The nightlife if you are looking for girls is better than in Athens and Bucharest, but worse than in Belgrade and Warsaw - which is suprising, given the size of the city. The society is basically split: you have half of the girls being conservatively-islamically minded, the other half more western oriented. The party area around Taksim offers a huge selection of clubs and bars, though they are often quite small and cater tourists - i.e. they are half-empty off-season. A major problem is knowedge of English. Even the modern half of the girl population only has a mediocre level and you have problem keeping the conversation going. The western oriented girls are relatively easy to get in touch with as a foreigner (better than in Athens, worse than Warsaw), but local guys tend to react jealously quickly. Expect to have competition (clearly more males than females) in the nightlife - might be all the conservative girls avoiding clubs and bars.

I hope this mirrors what others have experienced in those cities!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Reinhard-

Great intel, and very useful information - this is awesome. Zagreb and Belgrade I've only heard bits and pieces on, but sound like they're promising.

The warning on Romania is well-taken - sounds awful. And Greece, yeah - everywhere in Mediterranean Europe I get the impression is difficult. Aggressive, sexual men and closed off, reserved women. Interesting note on the married women having so many affairs, though. Sounds like Greece might be a good candidate to try out day game with the lack of nightlife options. The Greek Isles (Mykonos, San Torini) I've had girlfriends rave to me about as wild party destinations, although I think they're 70% male or so. That said, certainly do sound crazy, though I'm under the impression it's more tourist girls from the rest of Europe you're sleeping there than girls from Greece - I could be wrong here.

Chase

Oskar's picture

Excellent post Chase, as always. When I travel anywhere for an extended period of time one of my main goals is usually to form the bulk of my relationships with "local-locals", those people who don't give a damn about where I'm from so, though they tend to be much more difficult to become close to, through them I can have a more culturally authentic and personal experience than otherwise would be reasonably possible. I categorize people when I am abroad into three loose categories to help distinguish what kind of relationship I want with someone while abroad:

1) Foreigners: these people are often looking to party and are usually quite easily located, as you will inadvertently be one of them. People tend to stick with those most like them, so Australians will usually band together with other Australians and be more likely to stick around other Westerners than, say, Indonesians. This makes sense from a security standpoint, as they will literally be coming from a similar place and dealing with similar situations. Building relationships with these people is vital but the experiences you have with them will tend to be more culturally (the one that you in, that is) superficial than with the next two categories.

2) The Foreigner-ophiles: Since I am from the US I refer to those in this group as Americophiles. These people are essentially those you encounter based on the fact that you are a foreigner (only applicable if you are from a country they like). They will be more likely to speak English (or whatever language you speak) than the other locals and will be more likely to want to take you on tours and share in other experiences with you than "local-locals" will. However, they may be "tainted" by past travels of their own or their interest in your culture, and may be in some ways be a skewed representation of the majority of the region that your travelling in's population.

3) The "Local-Locals": These are the people who have roots in the community and perhaps have little interest in foreigners. When I was living in Russia my goal was to build relationships with these people, people who would, when they met me, since I can speak Russian about as well as a 3 1/2 year old child, inadvertently see me as having the mental capacity of a hummingbird and treat me accordingly. There can be greater barriers to communication with this group but, though they can be the most difficult to form relationships with, they often will have the most to offer you in terms of deep cultural experiences.

The barrier to entry for any of these groups and their distinctiveness depends on where you are in the world, and these categories exist on a spectrum and are accurate only as generalities. However, this categorization scheme can be helpful in quickly determining what you want from any specific relationship.

Best,
Oskar

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Oskar-

Neat distinctions. Not having much language capacity beyond some middling French and Spanish, I haven't had the chance of meeting the "local-locals" in non-English-speaking countries, but I can imagine that'd be a lot of fun - just picturing a foreigner trying to integrate with a group of American local-locals gives me an idea of probably some of the reception you'd get with a crowd like this. It's got to be a world away from the experience you get with the standard "local who speaks good English and finds the idea that you come from a faraway land at least somewhat intriguing."

Chase

Oskar's picture

Excellent insight Chase!

"Locals who speak good English and find the idea that you come from a faraway land at least somewhat intriguing" is a much better way to describe the middle group without the negative connotations that comes with "your-country-ophiles". It's an important group worth recognizing; perhaps I'll consider it as a fourth "type" in between the first and the second. Thanks Chase :)

Seduction-wise, going for the local-locals isn't really your best bet, but it certainly can be interesting, though also frustrating for both parties. I remember one girl I was with who would, with a straight face, offer sexual favors in the most sterile seeming situations and I'd only later find out about it when someone who'd heard it would bring it to my attention. Though, since these people were local-locals who wanted to be with her they certainly weren't going to tell me in the moment... But perhaps it was because I was just inexperienced in noticing and believing in the escalation windows I encountered.

Best,
Oskar

Anonymous's picture

Where was your favorite place to travel? Also what's the easiest country to pick up beautiful women in?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Florence, Italy and Tokyo, Japan are two places that made some real "wow" impressions on me the first time I visited each, and where I mostly drove, walked, or subway-ed around with a big smile on my face, where I got there and thought, "Damn, this place is cool." Lots of amazing architecture and other stuff, and the women in both cities are very well dressed and made up to look quite beautiful. Very thin and in-shape in both cities as well. Both are places I plan to live for at least a few months in each at some point.

"Beautiful" depends on your definition, of course, but the easiest place I've been (or heard of) to get large quantities of fast sex is the Philippines. There are a lot of women there who just love sex; and because it's still a little dangerous (banks have their own assault-rifle toting guards keeping watch at the entrance, and you're advised not to go out in Makati at night without a Filipino friend if you don't want to be harassed, assaulted, or robbed), not as many foreigners head there, which means the novelty factor remains quite high for not being local. It's not just a "impoverished third world girl" phenomenon; the women from upper crust families are quite friendly if you're foreign and make yourself attractive and presentable too.

Chase

The M's picture

Wow, this is really great! Thanks for putting all of this together.

Best,
The M

Gem's picture

Chase glad you wrote the legit version of this article.

I remember being so excited when you wrote the troll version and then reading it and thinking hmm that can't be right... Ohh :( lol

Chase tax exemption in the US is extra incentive to live abroad from what I've heard. Do you know about how finances, income, taxes etc work for expats in various foreign countries?

-Gem

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Gem-

All my income is still U.S.-based, so I don't get any freebies myself, but if you're being paid overseas, you can get some nice exemptions. For this year, they're:

  • Foreign earned income of up to $97,600

  • Foreign housing costs up to 30% of the maximum foreign earned exclusion (with possible adjustment based upon geographic location), reduced by a base amount ($15,216 this year

Chase

bolt's picture

Hey chase do you have African American friends who traveled the globe like you. If you do, how were their experiences pick up wise ?

phelwan's picture

In my opinion and take with a grain salt:
The best places I have seen black dudes get women is number 1: Germany, then Denmark, Norway, Sweeden, Finland and you may want to try some Eastern block countries such as lithuania, estonia latvia. Even go as far as russia. I would try the developed nations first, or if your on a budget the third world countries such as latvia. Though i am not black these countries are filled with "white women". So think about fashion fundamentals, you being black with solid game surrounded by white women. Who stands out, the regualr white sweedish guy that all Swedish women are used to or the black american on an "adventure"? However be sure that when you do visit these countries everything "game" wise is on lock down and solid. There can be no excuses to getting your "Flag" (having sex with a foreign girl in her home country) Being black has its advantages these days. Across the globe i am noticing a trend in my travels that black men who fit the "rapper" look with solid fundamentals get quality women due to extensive media coverage around the globe. Fashion is definitely key so play with it when visiting and take a couple different outfits. Think, most girls who are into watching a lot of t.v. and follow media closely will wonder what it like being with a black man. Since most of the time these girls are listening to Lil Wayne songs and have no clue what he says or means but are wearing "YMCMB" shirts and hats. This leads to a theory of mine that most women are literally "blind". I am convinced that regardless of what color you are as long as have your game tight through rigorous training and experience a woman will not see you as a colored man but as someone she simply wants to sleep with. I have seen racism and experienced racism myself although i am not black in countries. However, most women that are going to let you fuck them arent racist, the ones that are who cares about them dont need them.Also be on the look out for male haters, when i run seduction in different countries i go on hours of pick up only seeing women. its like i have tunnel vision. You need a little bravery and some time (good rule of thumb is about three months or more if you want some solid lays.) when going to new countries and using your game. In some countries it will definetly take time to get use to how you are going to "lay pipe" through out the city. Its a new environment in a new country so go with a cool friend who understands what your doing if you need to. It the end its really no different. As i once asked a natural that i once met in Toronto how he got his girl and he said "just go out there and invite on of those girls to dinner" (Of course there more to it than that). Or the other time i was in krakov poland when i met a 42 year old short bald headed indian (talking mushroom top baldness where his head shines in the light) during my night game sessions where he would go to a night club to dance and pick a cute girl of his taste and bang her out in the alleys, parks or anywhere he thought suited his situation and all the while film his lays with 18-19 year polish girls because he didnt want to bring them back to the hostel where six others where staying in his room, unless he wanted to fuck them on the hostel rooftop. When i asked him what how he did it he told me "if they are not making out with me on the dance floor within the first 10 minutes i dont want them". So if you decide to go to a foreign country put your hands down your pants and grab your hairy balls look at them and go use them and get ready to appraoch like a madman until you culturally adapt and overcome and you'll be golden.

Phelwan

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Bolt-

In addition to that awesome response by Phelwan (Phelwan, that really was a really fun response!), yeah - I've heard Scandinavia is quite black-friendly, and I had Swedish friends telling me a few years ago there was a black guy craze where Swedish girls basically were going nuts for any dark skinned guy because they're so rare there and all the Swedish men were complaining about it. Not sure if that fad is still ongoing or if it's petered out some, but I imagine even if it isn't as crazy as a few years ago it's probably still in place to some degree.

Japan I know can be quite kind to black guys - Japanese people are very racist, against blacks AND whites, although somewhat moreso against blacks, but there are some Japanese girls who have black guy fantasies and get really excited about the idea of meeting one of those cool black guys like they see on TV.

Additionally, one of our writers right here on this site - Colt - is a black American, and he's shared some of his travel experiences here already and I think might plan to share a few more in the future:

Chase

Zac's picture

Hello Chase,

I noted that Westerners have lots of problems travelling in certain countries, as you mention. I know, that for me, as an Asian guy, I have heard from friends, that travelling to China, Malaysia, Indonesia, Bali, Brunei is relatively safe, although in Malaysia, there been car jacking recently. (Must take your family members along with you, and don't leave them in the car!)

Do you know anything about how Asians Malays are widely receive? (Asian brown guys like me, at least.)

Btw, on cheap travels, i don't know if you heard this company, but few of my friends i know a year ago, join this Network Marketing from the United States, World Ventures. They are moving out, venturing in Asia just recently, to expand their business by purchasing bulks of travel stuff and sell it to their members so they travel cheaper.

It looks good on paper, but i don't know much about the internal stuff on it. If you heard about the company, let me know. :) You might have already benefit from it.

Zac

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Zac-

Dark-skinned Asians I don't know too much about in other countries, though I did see a few dark-skinned Indonesian guys getting light-skinned Asian girls in a few East Asian countries. I see a lot more SE Asian women than men in the West, simply because the prospects are better for them; however, dark-skinned Asian men who get their fundamentals down very well seem to swing to the opposite end and become very attractive to women. A confident, well-spoken SE Asian man who's assertive, well-dressed, good-humored, and maybe has a little muscle on him breaks the racial barriers and gets a lot of positive female attention.

On network marketing - these things are always the same, man. You only make money if you have a BIG network of people to sell to, and you're able to get them to buy. They're basically pyramid schemes; the ones on the top make money off the ones on the bottom. If you're a super-connector with thousands of friends and you have no shame about relentlessly promoting to them, you can actually do quite well in MLM (multi-level marketing - that's the most common term for this kind of business), but most of the people in the organization are just there to pay in to those who recruit them. Think of it like this: you're either going to use a lot of other people as YOUR stepping stones, or you're going to just be a stepping stone yourself - that's MLM.

I had a guy try and recruit some of my floor mates to one of these things freshman year of college, claiming he was a millionaire and whatnot, and they wouldn't listen to me so I went down to their next meeting with him and asked him to tell me how he made his millions and asked why he was dressed in such shabby clothes if he was so well-off, and his only response was, "Listen man, if you don't want to get with the program that's fine, but don't interrupt things for the people who do." One of my buddies was still convinced, so I bet him $200 that he couldn't make half the $2,000 he was being guaranteed he'd make in the first month. I told him if you're so certain, a $200 bet should be nothing, right? You're going to make way more than that, plus you'll get 200 bucks from me for FREE when you hit your numbers! He wouldn't take the bet, and ended up ditching the program.

Anyway, these guys will promise you lots of resources, but don't really give you much. Before you sign up for anything, recognize that you're only going to make money from whatever friends you can sell on what you're selling, so sit down and ask yourself, "How many of the people I know can I competently sell to?" and then figure out what percentage of them you think you can convince to buy. Don't listen to the sales hype; this will be you selling to friends and family. If you don't have enough people you can do that with, or you don't WANT to do that, don't get involved in network marketing.

Chase

Zac's picture

There's more to learn for me. I shall work towards it, i try. it's ambitious to be a brown guy who is successful with women and be a representative of Girlschase and post cool things in the forum and possibly here. For now Let's just keep it at that. :)

I thought i link this journal, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology,

<.ahref>ScienceDirect<.>
or this, Who’s chasing whom? The impact of gender and relationship status on mate poaching - Jessica Parker, Melissa Burkley

Apparently, i find a lot of social things like Social Cues on Volume 5, and 4. Take some time to read a few extracts.

Zac

phelwan's picture

Guys, seduction is part exiting your comfort zone and being different from the rest. You can stay in the U.S. and master our game there. Once you go to another country your US game will completely turn to shit and you will wonder WTF just happened im not winning until you adapt. Also, when travelling you need to learn to be a "social chameleon" meaning someone who can fit into one group socially as an independent with out any care in the world. Be smart blend in for the first few days. In different countries Dont go out at night unil your comfortable with your surroundings. then you can start your night game advances. Unless you know exactly what your doing within the country, You cannot expect to go to a foreign country and with in your "5 days of vacation" lay a quality girl. It can be done no doubt but you will have a hard time seducing women in a complete different country where you have no idea whats going on unless you spend 60 or 90+ days. Think of all the small things you can run into in your seductions in a foreign country such as in third world countries women dont have jobs so they have no money. Looks like your paying for her taxi or bus to get to your place or looks like she has no money on her pay as you go phone a lot and investing a lot. Many foreign countries are not as easy in "day game" to bring back a girl to your place within a couple minutes of meeting her. But is really easy getting phone numbers. Sometimes it takes a meet or two and thats it. Remember many people in 3rd world countries are just operating on there survival needs such as there biological needs (refer to chase' article on purpose). Other women see americans as dollar signs so learning the language and being able to converse with women is definetly key. I suggest learning the language if your staying a while it definetly works wonders. On the other note stop being scared of visiting foreign countries. Yes people get robbed and yes people get shot. But how many times does that shit happen right in your neighborhood. Stop being scared and saying ohh if i go to his country i heard this and that ill get held up. I walked in some of the most dangerous streets in south and central america at night alone and nothing maybe i was lucky but remember most people in the world are good people just be careful in what you do to attract the bad ones. Some self policing of how your are acting in a foreign country will definelty keep you from being robbed. The key is to blend in with your environment so that you can survive. Seduction in america is different from seduction in poland which is different than england. Also, think about visiting countries such as where they also speak english. Do you know how hot an american accent sounds to an australian or english woman?? They love it! Its the reason why a spaniard in argentina will get laid all the time because its a cultural thing of being the old kingdom. Imagine a spanish speaking casanova talking to an argentinian woman the accents different but same language and both are able to speak and trigger emotions with ease. So go out there live on your won terms leave the country for a while and go be a Maverick.

Phelwan

Anonymous's picture

You're right about language and the time it takes to find your feet but a little preparation works wonders.

To land in a new country running learn some of the language first. Fewer than 50 words will do. Even if many of the locals speak English and especially if the local tongue is not one of the worldwide languages it's the key to loads of opportunities.

You need the equivalents of: Hello, my name is, where is the [bathroom, hotel x, taxi-rank] left, right, straight on, please, thank you, I would like a [beer, cheese sandwich, room for one night] how much? add a few numbers and four or five basic words about your life [work hobby study].

That's all, but learn them before you arrive and get your ear in tune beforehand by listening to local language radio for a while.

This will save you a week of dead time, locals will not instantly write you off as some dumb foreign tourist cash cow who is only there for booze and sex (they will change their minds if you behave badly) and you can open girls in their own language - so badly they have to help you out - instant investment.

Regard language as an extra fundamental.

And add one physical skill, good dancing is universal but so are fruit-juggling, sleight-of-hand conjuring tricks and paper folding: fold a flower from a napkin while a girl watches then lean in to tuck it behind her ear, slip your hand behind her head while you apprise the effect smile slowly, transfer your attention to her eyes...

...and all without saying a word.

Two extra fundamentals should be enough anywhere.

Cheerio,

Mer's picture

Great article.

Just wanna add:
look is really subjective, as you say to why stop rate woman.
I find friends of me call one woman gorgeous, but despite I agree she is nice looking, she no that appealing to my type.
And vice-versa.
there are some abnormal places like Indonesia, so many people will agree about the looks of the woman there.

So, for in-europe / USA comparison, it's probably better each person will do it's comparison with picture as hard it can be.

H.K.'s picture

Chase,

I like most of what was written in this article however ,i was disgusted when you started talking about the middle east and homosexuals,first of all you talk about something so perverse in such a non chalant way,and also i think what you said is highly unlikely,the middle east is one of the places in the world where homosexuality can get u killed,so that's major misinformation.

On another note,ive traveled all over the world and i think you give america to much credit.The women here are the most masculine,and have the worst attitudes towards men in all the places ive traveled,they tend to be bitter or entitled.Also whenever you take a woman from an eastern culture and bring her to america she becomes westernized.

Another note on America,americas image is the land of the free yet,it condoned slavery for most of its existance,it is no more free then the majority of european countries.Not to mention it is becoming a police state. Americas image is also about people being wild and free and open,but most of the people here are not open,but rather live in cliques and can be in fact paranoid of strangers.Im not saying everybody but a lot of people are like this.I could go on and on about America.Most people here are ignorant of the world,lack intellectual knowledge to talk about interesting subjects,or even have a desire to talk about interesting subjects.America has one of the highest rates of mental illness in the world,the divorce rate is very high here and relationships in america are some of the least fullfiling in the world,and this comes from an individualist mentality among other things.

I say all of the above being born American,and having experienced other cultures.However,there are some positive things about america,the high standard of living,the safety(nevermind scratch that),the work ethic,the diverse and natural land,and maybe the independent spirit,the problem is that the independent spirt and mentality,can sometimes take away from more important things in life like relationships,if one only cares about his best interests and not others.

On Germany.Ive lived in almost all the major cities in Germany and you are right about Munich in general the women are feminine and approachable ,however in other cities especially in the northern parts they become more masculine..

On France your right about the french women being aloof,although it's still my favorite place to get a flag..

Your also right about scandinavian women being highly sexually open, and can be rather easy to lay.

Again spot on with the mediteranian women ..

On where to get airplane tickets everyone should check out

studentuniverse.com they have extremely low rates for students..

Matrix ITA Software is another great site for low fares..

Also skyscanner.com is great to compare flights....

As well as farecompare.com can also find low prices...

One of the things i like about this website is most of the information and content is different from mainstream ideas,lets see if it continues that way...

Author
Chase Amante's picture

H.K.-

Sorry if you were turned off by that - I debated including it - but this is the kind of thing that can be quite shocking if you're not expecting it. I have multiple confirmations of this occuring quite liberally in Egypt and Afghanistan; if you want other sources of information aside from what I'm passing along from my military and ex-military friends, these articles will provide some additional perspective:

We live in a strange world.

America is kind of a weird place, I agree, and the women do tend toward the more masculine side of the spectrum. I explored why I think this is (competitive necessities as women have entered the male-created and male-dominated Western working world) in this article: "Conflict Between Men and Women in the 21st Century."

I have experienced the Westernization of foreign-born girlfriends living in America as well, and it's been sad for me (since the changes have frequently been in the form of "rebellion" and showing me that they are "independent women", which they already were anyway, but now it's more about sexual independence and "female power"... kind of weird) but I have trouble deciding if it's better or worse for them. Seems to come with both plusses and minusses for their own happiness; they get more autonomy, but their relationships become more unstable and prone to failure. I've also experienced American women living abroad becoming un-Westernized to some degree. It's never a complete shift either way - an Eastern European girl living in Los Angeles never becomes completely American, and an American girl living in Tokyo never becomes completely Japanese - but their personalities do shift in some quite noticeable ways.

Good notes on Northern Germany and those travel sites. As far as the content on this site remaining un-mainstream... well, so long as I'm heading it up it's probably going to stay pretty far afield ;)

Chase

Hrnek's picture

Oh, maaaaaan. So detailed I will skip all my classes today.

Quick question for anyone:
Girls annoy men by being silent. So if they really crossed the line how do we annoy them the same way as they do with silence. To me, being silent does not seem optional. A guy is usually ok with her being silent but after around 9 minutes it drives him crazy.

So... How do I show a girl she crossed the line and also appear as a closed book and make her realize she crossed the line. My only guess is leave and do something productive.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hrnek-

The way I generally deal with this is to tell the girl to tell me what it is first - "Okay, what? Are you going to tell me what this is? Or are you going to just mope around and act like a lump of coal? I don't know what's on your mind or what you're doing or why. Are you going to tell me and get it off your chest, or are you just going to sit around and emit waves of gloom into the room?"

At that point, she'll either tell you, or she'll continue to sulk, at which point you then say, "All right, whatever," and then YOU go off and sulk / do your own thing and ignore her. Don't talk to her again until she starts talking to you, which she eventually will because now she has confirmation that:

  • You care (otherwise you wouldn't have asked what it was and made a big deal about it)
  • You don't know what the problem is and can't do anything about it unless she tells you
  • You're now annoyed at her annoyance and now SHE is being punished

This tends to get you to resolution fairly quickly, provided you don't crack and go back to her begging and pleading before SHE cracks and comes to you with an explanation.

Chase

Hrnek's picture

Oh and I forgot my piece of traveling advice:
I heard that on American websites selling plane tickets it is best to always clear cookies because prices go down a bit. I dont know why but...

About countries - I always thought our (Czech) girls are one of those beautiful. As a country, I am not sure if I would recommend people live here. Most foreigners live in Prague because it is the biggest, economical center with history and culture. But I cant really provide any comparision. Only that a lot of young Brithish guys travel there for weekends hitting bars, stripclubs and go for prostitutes.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hrnek-

Thanks for the thoughts on Czech girls and Prague here. I've heard from friends over the past few years that Prague is somewhat "fished out" and the novelty factor for foreigners is quite low there, since it's become a major tourist destination and so many foreign men go there to meet women. I had friends a few years ago telling me, "If you want to do Eastern Europe, do Kiev - it's the new Prague" - don't know if you have any thoughts on this or whether you've experienced other cities in the region.

Chase

Yink's picture

Hi Chase,great article there.I have a question:is it a good idea to date your ex girlfriend's close friend?,especially when you and your ex girlfriends break-up was not mutual(you did the breaking up) and she probably hates your guts.Won't she(your ex) convince her friend not to go out with you which can destroy your seduction.Or is it just a bad idea?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Yink-

That sounds like a distinctly bad idea that's certain to rake the coals and cause some major drama in your life and major upset in your ex's life. Probably leads to a split between these two friends as well. I'd only probably go for it MAYBE if the girl is already chasing after you HARD... and even then, have a real think on how you're going to be affecting people's calm (and lives) here.

The better bet is almost certainly hitting the streets, bars, malls, cafés, or whatever you like, and finding someone new who isn't going to end you up in a twisted, complicated love triangle situation.

Chase

Spyro's picture

Might be moving out to Cuba next year. Anyone have any experience there?

Alex Ljubenov's picture

Hey, Chase

This ls a great, very thorough article. I would like to share some stuff about the women in Bulgaria, where I'm from. Your friends are pretty much correct. During the summer things get crazy, there are hot girls virtually everywhere you look. There are lots of cool girls that you can really have great conversations with. There are all kinds of clubs, bars, pubs and parks where you can have a great time and meet cool people. If you ever decide to try something different, Bulgaria would be a really good choice. And there's much more to see and experience than just local women.

Cheers, man!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Great intel on Bulgaria, Alex!

Now you've got me even more convinced I need to visit there ASAP... :)

Chase

Zac's picture

i did my search months back. I could only put a "YES" on this vote. Sofia is place to go, too.

Zac

fasare32's picture

pictures! oh, i mean post. i feel like a kid again, less words, more pictures! :)

Balla's picture

Hey chase, I just wanted to clarify the situation with the customer, I never checked her out, I just would see her passing by, the only time she seen me look at her was when she was looking at me first, which was her chasing, because I caught her looking at me. The reason I didn't approach was because I couldn't find her and was working, so the next time I saw her as we were passing by each other that's when I asked her how she was. It was a quick glace no checking out, no staring, she happen to come out of an aisle while I was walking and then I said what I said because it was the first thing on my mind and it was just that quick I couldn't think of anything witty, I just smiled and asked her how she was.

Chase I really do listen to your stuff, and im very aware of what im doing and I understand that if I was checking her out she would be scared, that's why I was confused about her acting like that since I never checked her out.

I think she's just a shy or anti social girl like that, whenever she came in she would get like one thing and just be gone so quick, I never even had time to check her out and she sure didn't make it seem easy to either since she was so swift.

I think it's just her not me.

The only reason why im talking about her is because she's one of the most attractive girls ive seen in my store and shes my type.

Just a few quick questions,
1. What is wrong with how you doing?
I thought it was a good opener?

2. You said be witty and I know your making an article about it, but what should I have said in that situation to be witty and what should I have open with instead?

3. Do I still have a chance with her if I ever see her again? What should I do for the next time?

Thanks Chase

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Balla-

Noted on the chick. Yeah, could be; sometimes you never really know exactly what it is. However, any time a girl's clearly scared of you, that's a sign you need to take some of your edge off and be more approachable. Once she's deemed you "scary", that's probably going to be it with her, so… time to meet some new girls elsewhere (preferably not at work!).

"How you doing?" sounds inelegant and gruff. It's also informal and chummy - something you'd say to a buddy, rather than a new acquaintance. Since she's a customer, I'd probably stick with "Hi" or, if you have more of a chance to talk, "How's your day going?"

As for being good with people - practice makes perfect. Talk to as many different people as you can, wherever you meet them - cashiers checking you out for purchases, the driver of the bus you're riding, the old lady standing next to you waiting for the light to change at the intersection to cross the street. The more conversation with the more random people of all shapes, sexes, and sizes you meet throughout your day, the faster you'll become better with people, and especially with meeting NEW people.

Chase

Markus's picture

When you travel in Asia, some girls may come to you solely because you are white....

Balla's picture

Chase I forgot you also said im not very good with people, how do I become good with people chase?

Francisco's picture

Hi Chase,

Thanks for the article. I recently went into graduate school studying chemistry and there are about 20 some students in my program. One of the students is a girl from China who I'd like to date. However, I am totally swamped with work right now and won't have time to do anything with her until like 1-2 months from now. In the meantime, I have talked to her about 4 times now, and randomly run into her here and there.

I always try to keep the conversation to a minimum to not get friendzoned. However, I can tell this girl likes me so is there a way I can keep her on the hold without getting friendzoned? Or should I just try to go on a date with her now then cut contact to at least let her know there's something nonplatonic between us? Thanks!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Francisco-

Hm, that's a little bit of a judgment call there. I think personally I'd try to sleep with her as quickly as possible, and then just tell her I'm super swamped for the next two months but I really like her and want to see her, and just keep it to once a week for the next two months and only have her come over on, say, a Wednesday night, talk a bit, sleep together, have some food, and then send her home so you can finish some work.

If you absolutely don't have time to either go for first date sex or use a little date compression to make it happen over a few separate dates spaced not so far apart, then I'd probably just keep contact and conversation as minimal as possible until your schedule clears up, then pick things right up and possibly even tell her something like, "Hey, you know, I thought you were cute from Day 1, but I was just so flooded with work that I had no time for other people at all. I've finally got all that out of the way now and would really like to grab some food with you sometime - would you like to grab a brunch or a lunch later this week or sometime next?"

Obviously, first plan's ideal since you're striking while the iron's hot (and you're getting to enjoy being with her over the next couple of months, AND also setting some great precedent of her respecting your time right from the outset because she KNOWS you're super busy) - if you can find the time to do it now, do it now, and then just give her an amazing experience and do a good job communicating that you really like her but are really busy but still want to see her a little bit anyway - she'll understand, and be thrilled.

Chase

Sam2's picture

Chase,

While I deeply appreciated the fundamental dating community idea that a skilled man can get most women out there, I also knew that culture defines our social existence including our attitudes towards sex. I am happy to see articles dealing with the cultural differences among women of various nationalities.

In this context, I would like to ask you what you know about Greek women. I am myself Greek and while I achieved great progress- unknown to the average local man - in my dating life here in Greece thanks to your writings, I still believe that with the same amount of effort I would get more and faster elsewhere. I have friends with no skill in women who went to Czech Republic for a week and got full of numbers, dates, and sex.

In case you haven't heard anything about Greek women, allow me to invite you to Thessaloniki (the second largest city of Greece) to enrich your reference points and see to what extent "move faster with women" actually works.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Sam-

Greek women I've always been fascinated to learn more about, but I've met very, very few of them, and I don't know anyone who's spent much time in Greece. I've always assumed, though, that they're more or less similar to the other European Mediterranean women - Spanish and Italian women. Aggressive, assertive, sexual men, and retreating, reserved, cagey women. I've had friends move to Spain thinking they were going to have an easy time of it, only to find they ran into a brick wall trying to get anywhere with Spanish women, and I'd imagine it's similarly frustrating in Greece.

That said, I'd LOVE to do Greece at some point, so I may just take you up on Thessaloniki!

Chase

Sam2's picture

Chase,

Your intuition is correct about how frustrating it can get with Greek women, but not because they are shy/reserved. They are just indifferent to meeting men - at first - and have the "I am just out to have fun with my girlfriends" attitude. The cold approach is almost unknown here, as the game is played basically on the social circle. For anyone with the slightest sense of game and cold approach skills the game in Greece would feel terribly static. You will rarely see women giving you signals and you will mostly see them in 4-people groups. For this reason, every time I cold approach my last concern is competition from other Greek men. Contrary to what you thought, their "assertiveness" consists in sending shots from the opposite corner of the bar. Under these circumstances, having spent my last summer with a woman I stopped on the street during daytime makes me feel good, but I am sure that in Eastern Europe Slavic girls will be much easier to deal with.

V's picture

Hello Chase, What do I have to do to guarantee success?
What I mean is what is an absolute way for me to be successful and be the man younger women want when I get old? im mostly doing it for myself so I can live carefee but if I can get young hot girls too, ill do both. I would like to know what I can get into for sure that will guarantee success for me. Like what careers I should be going for?
I know you said being old and having a business is good, but what if I don't ever have a good one, whwt if I never make it into sports or entertainment? That's why I would like to know about good careers making bank.

Im not too good in math or science, what degrees can I get that will make me alot of money if I don't take a lot of math and science?

If I have to do those both to make a lot of money what should I go into?

Also, what can I do now while im in school to make good money?

I know I've read about you suggesting freelance work, but I don't have time to study for that.

What else can I do While im full time in school?

Thank you!!!!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

V-

Well, there are no guarantees for anything in life, I'm afraid, though if you work both hard and methodically, and incorporate learning from great sources into what you do, you'll generally see steady progress and eventually success in whatever you do.

Working on Wall St. is one relatively surefire way to make good money IF you can make it there and IF you can stand the pressure - it's tough to get in (and you DO need some math), and a lot of people fail out because they can't take the pressure and the insane workweeks. For that, you must essentially sacrifice your personal life for a few years before you graduate from being a low level grunt and gain access to the easier hours and higher pay available. But yeah - if you want to MAKE money, WORK with money... that one's about as reliable as it gets, assuming you can make it in and stand it.

You can teach yourself computer programming, which doesn't require math or science, just getting familiar with the language. Ruby on Rails is a very popular language that promises to be used for some time, and it's currently one of the highest paying languages; the average household income of a Ruby developer is $100K. A good tutorial for getting started is here: Ruby on Rails Tutorial [UPDATE: more resources here: Introduction to Ruby on Rails]. Of course, this is going to take dedication and methodical learning as well - you must work hard, and you must follow through.

There are also all the oil field jobs that are booming right now - kids with only a high school degree are working the oil fields and making six-figure salaries. However, the price of this is that you're mostly living in the middle of nowhere, there are virtually no women around, and you have no life. There's a good article in the Houston Chronicle on this one here: "High-paying oil field jobs come at a price."

Basically, whatever you do, you're either going to have to work really hard to develop the skill (like Ruby), give up having a life (like the oil fields), or both (like i-banking) if you want the big bucks. Even if you end up starting your own business - if you're going to make it, this is generally a lot of long, hard hours, for minimal pay, and crossing your fingers and hoping you'll make it. There are plenty of different things you can do to be successful, but none of them are easy, and you have to pay the price - sometimes upfront in learning the skill, sometimes later in giving up your freedom, or sometimes a bit of both. I'd probably recommend programming, simply because it's the most flexible and you can get a job, do freelance, or start your own business with it, but you have plenty of options - those above are just the three most "sure things" that I know of.

Chase

Stash's picture

Chase, I had the most confusing experience recently.
So i met this girl from online and everything seems to be going well,im deep diving her,i really thought she was into me because she kept mirroring my actions,if i would pick up a glass and drink so would she,if i would take a bite of food so would she.Maybe those are just reactions,but my gut was telling me that this girl likes me.So we keep talking for about 2 hours,good flowing conversation ,i keep touching her ,and I continue to lead well.At the end of the meet,I invite her home. She says to me,"but what are your intentions"? and then she said "because im not interested in doing anything,like sexual with you". She was very blunt.But she still agreed to come with me to my house..So at this point i was really confused about her interest levels..When we got to my house,i got buy in from her, she took off her shoes.I lead her to my room,but i waited to long to make a move on her ,because she seemed so adamant about her earlier statement,and her disinterest.She was on my bed,laying down I popped on a movie..She proceeded to tell me that shes only interested in guys a lot older then me,and also that she is bisexual..She is about the same age as me.She also said that she is very paranoid of getting an std,and also to not take it personal that shes not into doing anything sexual with me,that it's more about where her life is right now. Shes saying all this while on my bed,so i thought I might as well make a move on her just to see.So i tried to kiss her,she moved away ,throughout the night I threw everything in the book at her.Manhandle kisses and bursts of passion many times.She never got up and left,alhough she did say she would leave in a half hour but she stayed about 3 hours.She would let me run my hands around her ass,and she kept massaging me.From time to time she would take my hands of her and tell me that "im going to have to start putting up walls".I wasnt' able to kiss her the entire night,and she was very stern about not hooking up with me.I had my shirt off with her laying on top of me,legs intertwined,but i't's like that all she wanted to do.

I still don't know if she was interested in me,but it does'nt make since to me that she would lay with me and massage me and all that if she had no interest in me,i mean shes only know me for a couple hours..

Do you think she was into me?
If she was why would she directly tell me shes not interested?
Do you think she would have hooked up with me if i made a move in the first few minutes?

Thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Stash-

Yeah, women you'll meet from online will be like that sometimes. The only time I've met women like this are from Internet dating.

They can be SUPER matter-of-fact and absolutely douse any sexual atmosphere you've got going on. When you run into this, these are generally girls who are fact-/logic-machines - frankly, while I pushed forward a few times with these girls, it's never all that satisfying, and I usually just avoid these women when I meet them. They tend to be rather sexually experienced, but also not very sexual - it's kind of an odd combination. They seem to mostly just consciously decide, "Okay, I will have sex with this man," or, "No, I will not have sex with this man," and then act accordingly, and there's not much you can do to change their minds.

Based on what I've seen from this type of woman before, I'd say it likely wouldn't have made much difference had you taken action with her right away (never hurts to try though).

If you ever have a girl say, "I'm not interested in doing anything sexual with you," where it's a DIRECT shut down and very blunt like that (i.e., not the "We are not having sex tonight!" thing that girls who like you will say), it's a matter-of-fact statement and an indication that it's time to cut your losses and get out. When on occasion I run into a girl who says something like this nowadays, my response is, "I understand. I think we're interested in different things, and express ourselves in different ways. Nevertheless, I've had an enchanting time getting to know you," and then I send her on her way... always, however, with the distinct impression that she is walking away thinking, "Well THAT was a waste of my time."

A good way of summing these women up: when you get this reaction, it means they were looking for something specific, and you are not it.

Wish her well and pop the escape hatch.

Chase

ryan's picture

Hey Chase, i'm surprised you didn't include women from the Persian countries (Uzbekistan, Iran, Afghanistan, Tajikistan). They're incredible from my experience, though seeming you are well travelled, i assume you have had a bad experience perhaps? Interested to hear about their omission :(

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Ryan-

No specific reason, except that even when I go places that are supposed to have large numbers of Persian women, I simply never meet them. I don't know what it is... L.A., Las Vegas, New York, and Kuala Lumpur are some of the places I've spent some time and heard repeatedly have large Persian populations, but I NEVER meet these women. Street, nightclubs... not sure what it is. I'd certainly be interested to know more about them, but at least to-date, I don't know if it's me or if it's them, but we just don't seem to find each other!

So, in this case, it's simple omission from lack of experience, rather than anything else.

Chase

Colt Williams's picture

GC readers,

As a world traveler, let me throw in my 2 cents and add to this already great article based on some of the experiences I've had.

Countries Mentioned in Post:

Lebanon -- Lebanon is an absolute whirlwind of a country. That place is the spot. Beirut is the massive party city that you purported in the post. One of my favorite clubs in Beirut is this club called Bomb Shelter. Its exactly what it sounds like. It's a club in an underground bunker. It's incredible. The lebanese really know how to party hard. Even the smaller cities are great for both sight-seeing and going hard. The women are decent to beautiful (mixture of arab, and western european -- many of whom speak arabic/french), energetic, and pretty easy to get along with. Not the most sensual you'll ever meet, but not the least either.

Romania -- I don't like to laud women very often (unless we're talking brazil or like 2 other countries), but 95% of the Romanian women I know or have seen, have been somewhere between fairly beautiful and bombshells. One of the most incredible women I've ever known was a Romanian girl I met in China (yea..right?). She was tall, perfect complexion, model beauty, had a master's in applied mathematics and spent half of her time in France working on her phd in Astrophysics because "she wanted to be challenged and it was the most difficult doctorate she could find." Needless to say, everyone was obsessed with her. And her sensuality...unreal. And I know a handful of Romanian girls through childhood (big Romanian/Russian community in my city), and I can safely say that all of them are beautiful. And they are hardly anomalies from what I saw in the land itself.

Countries not mentioned:

Ecuador: I've never been, but I've heard great things about Quito and especially about a town called Cuenca. And from what I've seen/have been told, Ecuadorian women are pretty easy on the eyes, and tend to be fairly sensual.

Portugal: My best friend lived in Portugal for the last year and he never stops talking about how incredible it was. It terms of pick-up, seems to be a mix between expatriates and portuguese women, but he said it was a beautiful country and that the culture was vibrant and welcoming.

More U.S. Cities:

Seattle, Austin, Louisville, Denver

All four of these cities are places I've spent at least a fair amount of time in, if not more. They are all bigger cities geared toward cultural attractions and young professionals, and I can say that each one has an amazing feel about it. They are all so welcoming, vibrant, and usually if you go near the city center, teeming with young, attractive, fairly intelligent girls in their mid 20's. Game time.

There you go. Onward,

Colt

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Colt-

Awesome share - thanks for posting your experiences.

Neat to hear that Beirut is still good. Might be worth braving that Middle East turmoil for, huh.

Chase

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