Call Girls to Success: Phone Secrets, Part II


call girlsOkay. In Part I of this series on Phone Secrets - yesterday’s “Text Girls to Success”, we went over a ton of tips, tricks and tactics for texting girls, for the rare occasion that using those minimalist rules for what to text girls isn’t enough and you want to put in some extra effort to give yourself another chance. Today I’ll cover the second part of the equation - what to do when you call girls and how to make it all go smooth.

What I have for you here is a bag of tricks that work well on the phone… and in many cases, they are all part of girls’ standard repertoire - these are the things you’ll see girls use on you.

Before we get into specifics on how to call girls and make it go well though, let’s have a look at some theory, as to WHY these tricks work – because once you understand the idea behind a tactic, you can come up with a million techniques of your own...

... rather than having to memorize anything.

 

Why She’ll Want (or Not Want) to Talk to You

Have you read the book Influence by Robert Cialdini? If you haven’t, I HIGHLY recommend you pick up a copy – it is the BIBLE of persuasion, and of getting people to do what you want.

Of course you want to use these techniques ethically, and only to move people into action where it will serve them as much as it will you; to get people to do things that are also in their own best interest.

In any case, everybody should be aware of the tools Cialdini discusses in Influence.

The most important idea Cialdini proposes is that there are certain so-called “influence triggers” – these triggers make it more likely that somebody will be influenced by you, and the process is usually unconscious and completely automatic.

The six most important triggers with the biggest impact on influence are:

  • Reciprocity – People are likely to return a favor; this is the *real* secret behind the Godfather’s power (you have seen The Godfather, right?), much more so than extortion and violence. A lot of guys try to use this principle to sleep with girls by buying them drinks, dinners and movie tickets. A more effective way to use this trigger in a seduction is by being real and using humbleness with a girl, which will often lead her to drop all the “BS and games” as well.
  • Commitment and consistency – Once somebody has made a verbal commitment to an idea, it is much more probable that they will follow through on it. This explains a lot of religious rituals in our society, and the best way to use this trigger in a seduction has been discussed on this blog in the context of being a sexual man- getting a girl to openly own her identity as a “wild girl”, at least around you.
  • Social Proof – people are more likely to want what other people want as well. The most obvious way to use this trigger when meeting women is to surround yourself with women when you’re out – other girls will automatically find you more attractive than if you’re going out alone or hanging out with your buddies. The best part: They won’t even realize this is happening. ;)
  • Authority – when people perceive you to be an authority, they will reward you with much more compliance than the average person. The good news, especially in the context of dating, is that it is very easy to be perceived as an authority. All you need to do is to act like you are the authority, and people will align themselves with that frame. This is why you always want to lead women on dates, and tell them what to do instead of asking them.
  • Liking – we are all more easily persuaded by people we like. A lot of guys do this wrong in a dating context by trying to be super nice and complimentary, which doesn’t work too well at persuading women to think they’re sexy and cute. However, sharing a story or two on a date that shows her your vulnerable side can go a long way in making you more likable to her, which will set up that all important “team” dynamic as opposed to the “opponent” dynamic that so many guys fall into when they see the girl as an “obstacle” to get around to get what they want.
  • Scarcity – this is a corollary to the law of supply and demand. When there is less of something, people automatically want it more. This is the reason why you don’t want to call girls every day, and why it’s better to have a busy life in which you sometimes make time to see her as opposed to chasing after her all day long.

call girls

 

Techniques to Call Girls with

Now, let’s have a look at some of these techniques in the context of calling girls and “gaming” them on the phone.

  • One thing you can do to increase your perceived value is to not pick up the phone when she calls you for the first time. Again, this is a standard tool in a girl’s arsenal, and something women do all the time when you make your first phone call… they’ve been reading girlie magazines with this kind of advice since they were twelve, and they’re still reading Cosmo now.

    At the very least, be aware when she doesn’t pick up the phone that she might be doing it JUST because she’s trying to make you like her more… which obviously means that she likes you a LOT.

    Incidentally, this is a very good frame to come from in ANY situation with a girl: no matter what she does, it means she likes me.

    I even know a guy who has this frame ingrained so deeply into his subconscious that he will reframe even the harshest rejections as nothing other than proof that she is massively into him.

    “She had to shove her hand in my face and call the bouncer to get me away from her, because she knew she’d end up sleeping with me tonight otherwise.”

    He really believes such things… and he sleeps with more beautiful girls than most men I know.

  • Another way to use scarcity in your favor is to be the one to end phone calls first. If she tries to do this to you, you can quickly reengage her by saying something like “Sure, just one more thing real quick” - and after that, you can be the one to end the call.
  • If you haven’t talked to her in a long time (usually because she was initially unresponsive, as we discussed above), you can reinitiate and flip the frame around: simply pretend you haven’t been talking to her in a long time because YOU had no time for HER, rather than the other way round. You can give her a reason, such as friends visiting from overseas, which adds social proof to your story.

    Example: you call her and tell her, “Hey, really sorry I haven’t been in touch. Had friends over from England and pretty much all my time went to catching up & going out with them. Anyway, I didn’t mean to ignore you; sorry for my rudeness ;) What’s been going on with you?”

    You’ll be surprised how effective this is with girls who’ve dropped off the radar if you haven’t used it before. Try it out on a few of them.. you’ll be impressed.

call girls

  • If you call girls and a girl’s not really engaged in the conversation or seems distracted, you can “save face” by being the one to quickly end the call.

    Maybe somebody else is calling you on the other line (social proof), so you tell her you’ll call her right back… and then don’t actually do it (scarcity - which is really the essence of making girls chase).

    The other option here is to call her out on it - “Hey, you sound like you’ve got a lot on your mind right now... why don’t we catch up another time?” This one’s high risk, high reward: she’s either going to snap back to it and love you for being up-front with her and confident in yourself, or she’s going to take the out and get off the phone if she really isn’t interested or she’s legitimately busy.

    Sometimes girls will follow this up with a really cool text and ask to see you sometime soon. Very important that you move fast and close things out with her on this date, though, because calling her out + letting her go is either really ballsy, or really considerate of you... and she’s going to decide which based on your performance on the next date. If you take it slow, you were considerate and go to the friend zone; if you take it fast, there’s a good chance you take her to bed.

  • Here’s a very effective little trick to knock a girl RIGHT off the little pedestal she perceives herself to be on when she’s got guys calling her… make her a little bit self-conscious at the beginning of the call.

    You might say something like “Hey sorry did I wake you? You sound sleepy.” This is a sneaky one, I know… but when you call her and she picks up the phone, chances are she’ll immediately go into the headspace of, “oh there’s another guy pursuing me”.

    If you can snap her out of that state and into worrying about how she comes across, you can level the playing field a bit and talk to her on more even ground.

  • As I mentioned previously, I like to send girls a text and ask them when a good time to call would be – simply because pretty much everybody is busy, pretty much all the time.

    If you do call her out of the blue, however, ask her if she’s free to talk to you, just so you’ll actually have her attention on the call. Once you get a green light from her, feel free to give HER a red light in turn, and say that you DON’T have a lot of time right now… hitting that scarcity trigger again before you start the conversation.

Again, remember that you only want to use techniques like these with women who are playing hard to get. Why’s that? Because this is all going to be OVERKILL for girls who actually LIKE you! You’ll send those girls into auto-rejection and then be wondering what happened, because it seemed like she liked you so much before...

These techniques are for when you call girls who are acting aloof or disinterested, or when you call girls you’ve been pursuing for a little while.

The girl who’s already into you, you can often skip phone calls altogether and simply use texts to arrange a meet (one of the very basics of how to text a girl effectively).

 

Setting up the Date

Alright, you’ve got her on the phone and/or responding to your text messages, now it’s time to actually get in front of her in person again… because as you know, even with 4G technology, it’s not yet possible to sleep with a girl unless you’re in the same room together.

Of course it’s better to schedule a meet-up while you’re still talking in person rather than trying to do so over the phone, but if you didn’t have a chance to do that during the first interaction, here are some tips and tricks to make that happen:

  • Double-Booking:

    Depending on where you live, and this is especially relevant in Southern countries and in big cities, girls are often unbelievably busy and flakey. For a while I was living in a city where people were so non-committal that I made it a policy to double-book every date.

    At the time, I had almost half my dates cancel at the last minute… and while many of them rescheduled for later, it’s still annoying and you end up with your thing in your hand, and back at square one.

    So I started doing what the airlines do: I double-booked all my dates. I would tell one girl to meet me on Wednesday night at 6, and another to meet me at 7. If the girl at 6 shows, you can text the other one to postpone your date with her… but if the 6 o’clock girl stands you up, you’ve got a second date to fall back on.

    As long as you’re in a culture where everybody is constantly canceling everything at the last minute (and you know this is a cultural issue if your plumber does it too), you might as well have her be the one on the receiving end… and then this technique ALONE will almost double the amount of girls you’ll hook up with.

  • Time Limits:

    This plays on the scarcity trigger as well as on a whole bunch of other psychological principles, and it works very well: if you’re not entirely sure that a girl would be willing to commit to an evening of drinks with you yet, simply tell her that you will have something else going on around 8:30, but that she can meet you from 7 to 8.

    This works because it’s a smaller commitment to make; she’s more likely to meet up with you for an hour than she is to reserve an entire evening for you. It also takes advantage of the social proof trigger – you’re in demand, and other people want to meet up with you later.

    If the date goes well, you can of course extend it, and the thing you had planned at 8:30 is suddenly forgotten about.

    The disadvantage of this technique is that SHE might also make other plans for later, so there is a chance you won’t be able to take her home that night… but it increases the likelihood of her coming out to meet you in the first place And once you’ve had drinks with her, she’ll probably feel comfortable enough to commit to a real night out with you.

  • The Spontaneous Date:

    Smetimes the best way to schedule a date is to not schedule it at all – instead, just call girls or text them out of the blue when you’re free and ask them what they’re up to.

    One VERY effective strategy I learned back in the day from MY dating coach (who has since retired): ask her what she’s up to, and then tell her “that sounds incredibly boring”, and then that she should come see me.

    Another wording is to simply ask her if she’s feeling spontaneous, and telling her that you’re really looking for an excuse to procrastinate on work.

    The whole idea of the spontaneous meet-up is fantastic because it sets you apart from other guys, frames your get together as a little adventure and cements the persona you’re trying to project as you sexually frame the conversation.

  • If you don’t hear from her for a while...

    Cancel!

    This sounds crazy, but if she doesn’t text back for a while (yes I know she might be legitimately busy), go ahead and send her another text and cancel your invitation. Just tell her that you’re sorry, but you had to make other plans since you didn’t hear back from her.

    This combines scarcity with social proof again, and this little technique has proven to have a VERY high success ratio. I’ve often had girls call me right there and apologize for not getting back to me sooner.

    Some girls also got really angry that I’d just blow them off like that, but since I’m apologetic and nice about it, they’re always willing to reschedule… and NOW they don’t flake, that’s for sure.

    Remember... some people don’t like to hear it, but anger is a lot closer to love than indifference is. Better for her to pissed at you, then calm down, than it is for her to be always calm and feeling neutral.

call girlsAll right, between this post and yesterday’s, you now have a MASSIVE toolbox to help you text and call girls… consider it your HUGE Swiss Army Knife for getting dates, with one tool to fold out for every situation.

A couple of comments here before we wrap up though. First of all, techniques and tactics aren’t that essential once you develop the right mindset and confidence, and you can read more about that here on the blog as well (see our recent post on how to get lucky without relying on luck for a mindset infusion).

That said, the right mindset and confidence often develop automatically once you start seeing a lot of results… and a few tricks and techniques can get you there faster.

Consider these techniques training wheels… if you use them for a while, the mindset behind them will start to become ingrained in your subconscious mind, and you won’t even need to use any tactics anymore.

You’ll just always intuitively do the right thing.

And once you’re at that level, there will be another reason why you will never need to use any techniques to hit the scarcity or the social proof trigger: Your dating life will be so abundant that you will be LEGITIMATELY busy with all the girls you’re dating… you really WILL have an abundant social life that massively social proofs you automatically, and your time really WILL be scarce, even if you wanted to call or text a girl more – you simply won’t have the time to do it.

And that’s where you want to be.

How do you get there? Very simple… step by step, and by just setting one foot in front of the other on the road to learning how to seduce women like the masters of the art.

Onward and upward,

Ricardus

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Comments

mlntsj's picture

The First Call.


I met a girl at a movie theater after some heavy eye contact before and during the film. I approached her thinking that it would be stupid of me not to. I introduced myself and we exchanged numbers (she gave me hers then told me to call her do she could save mine on her phone). I suggested that we get together some time later in the week and that I would give her a call "soon". Her body language alone was very receptive to our interaction. I thought I had it in the bag..

Until I called her the next day only to reach her voicemail. I kept the message brief telling her we should meet up in the next 2 days for a drink. No response. I haven't contacted her since (no texts whatsoever).

It has been over a week now and I feel like I still have a chance to get to meet this girl. What happened? What can I do?

The way she kept looking and smiling at me was a total "gimme" and I don't want that to go to waste.

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