12 Things Every Man Should Have Handled by Age 35 | Girls Chase

12 Things Every Man Should Have Handled by Age 35

Chase Amante

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things men should have handled
There’s a lot to focus on in life, and little guidance. Where should you concentrate your efforts? To these 12 key areas: women, money, strategy, and more.

I’ve had guys ask me over the years what areas of their lives to focus on outside of women. And younger guys have asked what they ought to have handled as they get older. Society’s grown more complex than at perhaps any other time in history, due to myriad factors. However, one of the biggest factors has been the near-total abandonment of preparing young people for what to expect in life.

In place of lessons and guidance, we give them feel-good Hollywood films and vapid platitudes. Things that for prior generations were known and expected in life are surprises for the generations now coming of age, left to their own devices to figure these things out (or not).

So I’ve worked to set out a list here of the 12 most important things for a man to have handled before he turns 35. If you’re young, these are the items in life you need to concentrate your energy on. If you’re older and you haven’t handled all these yet, it’s not too late to start. This isn’t a list designed to make you ‘feel bad’ if you haven’t accomplished these yet – this article isn’t about ‘feelings’. This article is about masculine concerns: what areas of your life can you work on that will improve your life?

The more work you do on these 12 areas, the better your life will be.

If your life is already awesome, improve these areas and it will become more awesome. If it’s less than awesome, improve these areas and you will change that too. Note that some men have some degree of natural ability in some of these areas. But no one is a natural at them all – and every man has room to improve in each.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.



Abazid 's picture

You Made Me cry. I am approaching 33, I have tried to achieve all of these with Absolutely failure.

Going to the Gym doing big movements with perfect technique yet small as an insect. Luckily i have muscles small as they are.
A car accident put out Me out of 4 tears Boxing for good besides gymnastics and sprintin. Been unemployeed for sooo long. Even through i have environmental engineering degree from good University. I have tried. I got very few Man skills but almost non thatis sufficent i open up My own Business or work. I have no creativitybqhatsoever. I go on Khan Academy and try to reteach myself the Science i have leaenes Plus other stuff but info is so over wellming. I love the girls in the country i live in but cant get one to save My Life. I wish to Just have hope. I am obsessed with full lips, Gym bodies with the gprgeous butts and the sexy boobs and braided Hair. However. Cant do it, i am boring as fuck even i read alot of history and i have travelled a little bit. I know how to dance, i grind on several butts but at the end of the Day i go home alone. I am terrified of making My ibtentions clear or even scared of success. Because when they see My situation bo woman in her right mind would want to Be with Me, i am boring.
I have tried and i fail and all iwish, that is not too late. And i sometimes i wanna Ask women if i creep then out or what.
I am so scared i had no adult hood onlybone woman My whole Life(luckilyshe was hot).
I Just really wish to believe that i have what it takes and that i can attract the women i Like which seems so difficult. Competion is ferrociius and despite My efforts, i fail xonstantly.
My greatest Enemy is hopelessness and lack of direction. Dont know what to do

stefxxxyyy's picture

thank you Chase this is life saving pure gold advice!

Sz's picture

In my opinion, this is the best article you have ever written. I remember I said it would suck for you to move on from this site, but you said you're just a guy and whatever, ain't no one else writing stuff like this. When you took a break a few years ago, I honestly didn't go to the site as much. Your articles are something different man, and why I'm addicted to this site. I hope you stay here for a long time.

What made you make the age deadline 35 instead of 40? I feel its more complete. Really curious.

It's funny, but you happen to have most of these 12 things already, but it seemed you just happen to get it handled without doing it on purpose. How the hell that happen ? It's like you did this stuff, then realized this is what you have to do.

sydney_sider91's picture

Yes I completely agree with Sz. The articles that have really changed me as a person (went from virgin to 6 lays in two years after discovering GC) have been the ones written by Chase. The ones written by the others are also top quality articles that I refer to often. They are like great supplements to Chase's core articles.

Sydney sider 91

Sz's picture

1.Could you explain the debt part? Are you saying putting money in for a Roth and 401k don't benefit much?

2. Where do you put your money in then ? Where would you put your money in if you're an entrepreneur? Or do you just work forever?

3. If you have a mortgage or a car, how could you be out of debt by 35? What if you can't pay your house off, or want a new car or need a new one? Unless you have hella money, you would keep paying on a loan you currently have, or have to take out a new loan sooner or later.

Could you please explain that part.

Dick's picture

Any advice on how to learn to copywrite, Chase?

Alexander Abraham's picture

Look up some books by Robert Bly and Peter Bowerman. Both are great places to start, in particular these are the ones that I've read and recommend:

Robert Bly:
1) Secrets of a freelance writer: how to make 100,000 a year or more
2) The copywriters handbook: a step by step guide to writing copy that sells
3) How to create irresistible offers

Peter Bowerman:
1) The Well-fed writer
2) Back for Seconds

All of which are good starter books but both emphasis a lot on cold calling which you don't really have to do anymore. Thanks to Upwork getting better people are actually able to make a living from it (in the books they're really against sites like that, but these books were also written back when sites like that really sucked)

They helped my skills with copywriting until I found that I didn't like it as much as I thought I would and went to something else :P

In addition, you might also like these two books:
1) Take the cold out of cold calling: web search secrets
Sam Richter

2) Smart Calling: Eliminate the fear, failure and rejection from cold calling
Art Sobczak

sydney_sider91's picture


Another great article that hit home. It's something I've been worrying about for a while.

Just last night, after coming home from a long day of engineering and working on my sexy walk (and missing my scheduled gym session), i was sitting in my room worrying about how I'm stretched very thin trying to master too many things at once. I've been making consistent progress in the 3 fields of work, PUA, and gym, but progress has been slow at times.

This article helped put it in perspective again and provided lots of tools and tips to get me there. Will be referring to it often.

Sydney Sider 91

Alexander Abraham's picture

This and the media mind control article are probably my two favorites on this site.

I would like to add to the article that the greatest thing that helped me with my vices was actually the Enneagram. I'm a type 5 and one of the bad parts of a type 5 is that we tend to be a little too comfortable with armchair wisdom and just reading/learning without action.

When a type 5 is really growing to their full potential we start to become more 8-like and really take action. That's something that helped me understand one of my greatest weakness'; procrastination. Sure I'm a little bit of a hedonist as well but I think that comes with finally starting to get somewhere with women, I feel like it's mandatory to go a little overboard lol

Unlike any of the other psychological typing systems (though I don't know much about Big 5) the Enneagram goes into the positives and the negatives. It doesn't shy away from our darker natures as human beings. It accepts that people have a dark nature and gives you the tools to help get over them.

Going back to myself for example; it helped me understand the root cause of my own inaction. And that's one based in fear. It was silly to me at first but after really thinking about it, it's right. Overcoming that is what I've been focusing on for a long time and I've seen a lot of improvements in my overall life. Thanks to GC and knowing what my weakness' can be I've also worked on being more emotional and less angry with emotions in other people as well.

The same with knowing that I need to be more 8-like and take charge in life.

I'd encourage other people to check it out, in my opinion the best website to start with is:

PersonalityCafe.com also has some good stickied posts in their forums but in my opinion it's gone way, way downhill since I found it. But, still some great nuggets of wisdom in the stickied section

Learning about the Enneagram is highly recommended :)

Anonymous's picture

Should I give up if I want to learn online skills and freelance because I'm black? I heard that it's extremely hard for black people to find freelance work. I also feel that they would not take me seriously at all because I'm black and I've never done anything like this before.

I never even had a full time job, so having clients who probably already doubt me, make me worry .

Do I have a chance with freelance?

2. Trades take time, and I heard you get paid shit for like 5 years until you become a journeyman and whatever, and I also heard there is math in the trades you listed and I'm horrible in math, would it also be good to learn a trade while you work on computer skills? Let me know your opinion.

3. How did you get good with conversions? How did you learn it and where can I?

4 . How did you market yourself to freelancers without having done it before? I want to become a freelancer, but like I said, I'm worried about questions number 1 and having no experience.


Brett's picture

Hi Chase,

being probably your age peer I have to say: Very spot on and very inspiring not only for the younger guys. Thanks.

I’ve seen that you published a bunch of new interesting and insightful articles again.

It seems however that my follow-up comment with questions in your article "It's Cruel When Men Don't Stick Around After Sex Argument“ slipped your attention, so I am reminding it anew. How do you feel about my questions titled altogether as „Why not Love?“

Hope your fine

P.S.: Unless that is not a secret: What is the martial art school you are involved in yourself? I don’t see you mentioning it in the article.

stranger's picture

Amazing article, Chase. I keep going to your site every now and then, and read your articles. And you always seem to cover just the right things.
Will definately be working on the skill building for income, and some others.

Been recently thinking about this tight knit group of friends, have some (old) friends who are not really moving forward in area's of life I'm interested in improving. It's hard to find people who share similar interests and have the drive to succeed and some actual skill already at multiple area's of life. But i guess its okay to have friends in different parts of life. I will read your suggested articles on the group of friends.

Are you aware of Dr Jordan Peterson? He is a psychologist turned christian who, in his lectures, teaches life lessons kind of like the ones you've written about in this article. Only his opinion on pick-up is not really positive. But that may be due to his being together with his high school girlfriend for just about all his life.

Thanks again for the great read

SZ's picture

1. "Some of these skills are easy to make money in than others. To make money as a writer, for instance, you’ll need to be at a fairly high degree of skill. You can be at a comparably lower level of skill as a programmer and still make good money, however."

I know it isnt easy to program, but please explain the programming easy part to me, can i learn this fast? I have heard many people say you need to spend 1000s for a boot camp or go to school for it to get a job, basically they're saying learning code for free is not the path of getting a job. I even read on the forum a reader said you would need school to get money with programming. Is it possible to get a job with programming with no school? How is it easy per-se? What are the other easy skills you could learn?

2. What would you have went back to school for ?

3. Why didnt you want to find another job? And what made you want to become an entrepreneur instead ?

4. How do we deal with all of these people who want to be entrepreneurs? How do we beat the competition since a lot of people keep talking about it.

5. I know guys who are very discouraged about the entrepreneur lifestyle, they say you cant do it, you need a job, you will fail, etc. They make it seem like getting a job is the only way to really survive and it's many of them that agree. I feel it's good because theres more room for me, but It discourages me a lot because it sounds almost impossible.

vrey's picture

What’s up Chase?

Been a silent reader for a while but I must say that this is a mega article. I enjoy your year end reviews and I would put this in that same category im terms of quality and content. I know these take forever to write due to the sheer volume & depth. Thank you. Keep it up. You’re mega.

Atra's picture

Again, a fantastic, thought provocing article!
A few thoughts I made:
Re 6: Yes, friends are important. However, you don't know who will support you before you need it!
Re 10: the ability to defend oneself also apply socially. Trusting that I'm able to defend myself verbally makes me much less scared in socially challaging situations.

Bunk's picture

"If you’re brand new to the idea of meeting women as a skill set, start with these articles first:

How to Get Girls: The Last Post You’ll Ever Need
Do You Really Need to Learn Game to Get Girls?
Why Cold Approach Works Better Than Anything Else

Is it just a coincidence that everything here just happens to align with author's financial interests?
For example:

1. Why is 'game' promoted despite being a cargo cult pseudo-science?

Because it can be packaged and sold as information product. It's a perfect fit for a blog.

Also because it can be learned by anyone (accessible + bigger market) and you can blame the end user for failures (similar to other self help crap out there).

2. Why is mass/cold approaching promoted?

Because SYSTEMS are easy to sell. However, systems require lots of different interactions.

Therefore, you have an incentive to promote whatever results in many interactions, so that you can create and sell a system (e.g. 'daygame model', 'one date system', 'mass approach blueprint' etc.).


This is just the tip of the iceberg. You can analyze any article and you will see how it serves financial interests of writers.

User is in a reality distortion field where things that might hurt the bottom line are suppressed or ridiculed and things that enable the business to work are actively promoted.

Chase Amante's picture

going his own way

going his own way

going his own way

Jimbo's picture

And slicing meat aligns with the butcher's bottom line. What's your point?

You know what else aligns with the author's financial interests? His clients and readers actually getting results and improving their lives. No business is free from feedback, whether on its premises, or on others, and reputation matters for one to stay afloat for more than a couple of years. I've seen mentions of this site on others, and they don't seem to be this excoriating for a supposed scam.

Why not simply point out of the specific pieces of information that you deem misleading or deceptive? Because demonstrating profitability is not the same as demonstrating false advertisement.

Also, Game was never advertised as a science. It's just the set of things you do and say to girls to get them to bed or to be your girlfriends. We all do it. And as any other activity, it can be improved and even excelled in.

Mischief's picture

But regardless, by the time you’re 35, even if you’re a bit of a loner by nature, you need your tight-knit group of guys. Every guy needs other men to keep him sane and to have his back.

Chase’s memes are f’ing priceless! I am 38 and far from having a tight-knit group of my own… with the possible exception being this blog. The internet is to men what the sexual revolution was for women. We need to take advantage of this, not so we can win some confrontational battle of the sexes, but rather so that we might recapture the opportunity our male ancestory once had: man-to-man connection that a feminized society has worked so hard to shatter. For the record, I don’t see this as any conscious sense of female malice, but I think it is the result of the feminine breeding strategy having got the better of men in power who, consciously or not, lost touch with their own masculinity.

Chase is right: men need to bond with men. There are critical elements of the male experience that women are incapable of comprehending (as I am sure is true in reverse).

Thank you for another valuable article.


She enters your world… not the other way around.
Manners. Maketh. Man.

Anonymous 's picture

I wrote to you a while back about getting student loans to cover my credit cards, you said it was ok to do, but to keep paying while in school. I was wondering if I should still do that because if I do, I'll be 40k in debt with student loans if I combine it with my credit cards, but it's the same debt anyway, the student loans just let me get breathing room to get a car and apartment, instead if paying credit card payments.

I'll also have car payments and the apartment, I'll have to pay myself. So I'll be in a lot of debt.

So how could I be debt free by 35?

I'd live at home, but wouldn't I be looked at as a loser if I stay at home? How can I fuck girls like this?

I'm a late bloomer with all of this stuff. So I'm scared as hell I won't be where I should be at 35. I'm mostly worried about money, I have all kinds of debt; student loans, few credit cards in the 10 thousands,i will get a car loan and apartment, etc. and the way it looks, it looks like I won't be done at 35, I don't have the best job either. So I have my job, pay all of these bills and loans. So I'm stuck and have no idea what to do. I wish I could just use all of my money to put down on loans, but since my job isn't the best, I have to pay all of my bills, and a little on the loans. I don't want to be paying like this for 10+ years. I'm so stuck, I fell for the college kool aid and got loans for a useless degree, I have many credit card debts, and then car loan I will get, etc. I'm just trying to figure out how can I do this. All of these loans say I won't be able to pay them off for many many years, all of this just happened out of no where.

Should I just give up the dream of being debt free at 35?

Am I a failure if I don't achieve this at 35?

I'm a late bloomer with women also, don't know if it matters to tell you, but if you have advice please tell me.

Thanks Chase!

Anonymous 's picture

I can't just shake AA at all. I went out today and at this super market their were some cute girls, most I have ever seen. I went near them, but nothing, I couldn't do anything, but stand there for a second and walk away. It doesn't seem real to me that girls will like me or I won't get blown off.

I have been like this for years, no matter how many times I go out or read the aa articles, I still can't do it.

It's so bad now because I have so many days that I have to release my self because I can't take it anymore, so I do it.

I know you said porn was bad, so I keep using my imagination, I figure it can't be bad because I'm not getting girls anyway, might as well feel good and release, and since it's not porn I'm good. But I'm guessing that it's messing me up, my urges are so strong and not getting any makes me do it so often.

Anyway, are there any tips I might have missed on making this aa better? I feel I have it worse than most people, and I've been trying to do it for years.

I just feel like a creep and feel like it's a waste of time just to get rejected, I mean, if they wanted me, they'd make it known right? Not even subtly.

I really want to beat this aa, it's been holding me back for so long, I literally read an article, go out and I can't do it, I can stand near them all I want, but I get no attention. I want to beat this so bad, and say fuck the thoughts, I'm thinking of all of the girls in losing, but I never done this before, so then I realize how limited I am. This sticking point has to go.

Anonymous 's picture

So I was working on some coding, and side hustles this morning and then I realized, how the hell can i do all of these things and train in them effectively?

I thought I could do all of these things, like work, school, side hustles, learning skills, working out, girls etc. With an hour focused on each, but I'll get better slowly or maybe I will give up.

I realized, how am i supposed to do fit all of this in every day and become good at this stuff quick.

I wish i didn't have to work or to go school, that takes up a lot of my time, then you got to fit in working out and meeting women.

I want to learn all of these things together because time is of the essence. I need this stuff handled within a year, well at least somewhat handled.

How would you fit this in if you were in my position ? There's no wrong answer so please tell me what you would focus on mostly, and the amount of time one should put that focus on the most, basically what's the most important to work on first and how hard to focus on that, then what are things you can kinda focus on that aren't as important as others.

I work full time to meet my needs and I'll go to school full time because this is something I want out of the way.

My list of things are here:

1. Full time Working
2. Full time School
3. Working out 3-5 days a week
4. Side hustles for extra income, I don't know the hour ranges just yet
4. Learning a monitizable skill, what ever you can recommend how many hours seem to be good a week
5. Meeting girls, dates, sex of course, I believe you said 3-5 outings for 4 hours, then plan dates and lays accordingly.
6. Learning fighting styles
7. Leisure Time if course
8. 8 hours of sleep, you know I need my sleep
I will be doing this while trying to get a car and an apartment.

I have done all of these before, and know its very time consuming, but not at once because I never thought of it in this way. I also never worked so hard and have been so busy, so it's hard for me to adapt right now.

I know you don't have experience with all of this, but I really would appreciate a hypothetical answer, just because I feel you can manage it better than I could.

P.S. A car and apartment is on the top of my list, I want these so bad, but cant afford them. I can't get another job because if I do, then I won't be able to work on this stuff at all or even bring girls back to my place.

I know not having a car messes things up. That has to be done one way or the other.

But, I feel not having an apartment messes me up so much, I feel it makes things easier, plus I feel it's expected of me to have one now at least, people assume I have my own house already. So I definitely have to step it up.

I feel like a less of a man without these, maybe I'll just go to girls places instead? I don't want them to think bad of me because don't have my own place.

My pay is just too low to do all of this unfortunately, do you know anyway I can be able to afford these things without having to get two jobs?

I know many people with crappy jobs that have they own place and car, I don't know how, but they do it.

Thanks Chase!

Sz's picture

Hey Chase,

Do you think 50 has a sexy good walk in this video? It's at :38 and ends at 1:23.


And do you think the size of his muscles are good for attracting women, or do you think it's too much ?

Tell me how you feel about everything and if it's good to emulate it

SZ's picture

I'm sure you heard about net neutrality Chase.

I heard about it here and there, but after reading it today, I'm shook.

It just sounds like they're gonna restrict everything from us or make us pay a fee.

I want to start learning skills online and im wondering how am I gonna do that? How am I gonna have online businesses with this happening?

Do I have to work in corporate now like everyone else? I can't be my own boss now without a brick and motor business?

What about this site? Is it going to be ok over here ? I need this site. I'm on this site all of the time, I don't want anything changing.

Idk what to think because this is all new to me, but I'm worried.

SZ's picture

And I forgot to mention that I'm worried as hell about accusations now more than ever because of all of this hollywood stuff going on, if it's happening to these men, how the hell are we safe?

I want to sleep with all girls no matter race, I'm a black dude and this crap worries me.

How should I move in this situation ? Stick to black girls? Or am I ok to sleep with all girls?

I need to sleep with all race girls because black girls aren't abundant where I am, and I'm in the south so I don't know if that makes it better or worse if I mess with white girls.

How can we be safe in these times?

P.s. with this new net neutrality thing, do you think our online privacy is somewhat safe or will it be worse? I feel comfortable writing on here, so I don't want any changes.

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