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A
few hours ago I was in a girlfriend’s apartment with her and some
of
my girlfriend’s friends. I showered there, and when I finished my
shower I left the bathroom in just a towel, then returned to dry
my hair.
After my girlfriend’s friends had left, she told me one of her friends had seen me walking back and forth wrapped in my towel and proceeded to make an unpleasant face, then look away.
Now, if I was younger I might’ve been inclined to take this reaction at face value and assume there must be something wrong with my body, or maybe I don’t look that good in a towel and ought to stay covered up all the time. I’d feel self-conscious and take something like this as reason for doubt.
However, at this point, I know I’m in decent shape... I have some muscle, and little fat. I have arguably the best figure right now I’ve ever had. And I’ve had plenty of girls tell me I have a good body. So I know that “Ugh!” reaction likely doesn’t mean, “Ew, he’s so ugly.”
Instead, I figured this likely happened because that friend is devoutly religious, and her reaction was her forbidding herself to suffer impure thoughts / temptation. I told my girlfriend this, and she said that was her read as well (then asked me if I could stay dressed around her more conservative friends).
It seemed like a simple little interaction, but it highlighted an important point:
You must be careful not to take what women say or do at face value.
Comments
Being an asshole VS being rude ( social retard)
Hello, I'm slightly confused about something and I heartily welcome any reply/help.
I'm a beginner in the social arts and I'm working on becoming socially calibrated and boost my social value.
What's the difference between being an asshole whom women love and being a rude, not socially calibrated guy?
I have been reading this site for a while now and I have come to understand that one of my biggest issues is social calibration. I'm a complete social retard and I'm working on fixing it.
I try to combine being an asshole and being a cool, easy going guy but I failed.
When I become more of an asshole, I adopt some mindsets which, I think, are not helping me in becoming socially desirable. Here they are :
I think of myself as being superior to other people. I think of most people as beneath me and fail to treat others like equals. My belief is that being nice with other people means that I'm being dragged down to their level.
My arrogance drives me to be rude, like not even saying hello to people who I know for being in a few of my classes.
Th only good side is that some girls are super attracted to my behavior.
Now, I've read on Girls Chase that girls adore prideful men as well as a cool, nice, easy going socially calibrated guy. How to combine both? My guess is that I'm completely off track when it comes to being an asshole and that's what's making me socially retarded.
I completely fucked up my reputation at school for being that rude guy who "does not get it". I sure get some attraction but now that I'm thinking about it, it might just have been reactions I mistook for results.
Please help me identify how wrong I went about being an asshole and what it actually means cause I'm seriously confused. Meanwhile, I'm focusing on mending my reputation.
Thanks guys.
It is very hard to change
It is very hard to change your role in a group, once people got used to it. Basicly others do not wont to spend energy to adjust. Most of the times at least some people benefited from your role, be it just that it stabilized their social rank to know you beneath them.
So don`t beat yourself up too much. Maybe a lot of what you try is not really wrong. It might just be the wrong setting to test things. My advice is to use vacations etc. to try being different first. That way you can make beginner-mistakes without complicating the image important people have of you.
Then once you have experienced that new people respect you, when you act different, you can very gradually shift your behaviour in your established social setting.
I know what you mean
Kole, I can relate, and actually being an asshole is the first step getting good at gaming (at least it was for me) It gave me a lot of insight into where the boundaries are, and that wa good cause they are actually a lot farther then most 'nice guys' think. Check out the series of articles called : The Genuine Man. This provides good info on you situation and will also show you the next step.
Best of Luck
I don't think being an
I don't think being an asshole or rude can help you with any women! but one things that we all should know! they looking for the best that available! or make them feel better or improve their life! that's why they will prefer dating with rich guy, handsome or nice guy! some man will act rude or being asshole simple because it will lowering woman value! and make ass hole more value! and some women like that! but just like chase said, it can work, if all man treat her like a princess! but the idea is to be different!
but if were you , I will start with women that under my value! because it will make things easy and more smooth! but of course at least she have good sex appeal or what ever it is that make me have interest with her, e.g big boobs, tall, smart, money and etc. there are a lot women like this! all I have to do is to make a move and play with her! but most of the times, I can tell her if she have interest with me or not! buy reading her body language! if respond me well and body language showing she have interest I will try to ask her number! and then ask her to go out! if fail I will try another! this strategy called easy target! i.e Optimization! more efficient and effective!
lmao
PS. don't take my comment seriously! it just a joke ok! :P
Body Language Ambiguity?
Chase - great article, as always. I've learned a great deal from your website. Lots of info I wish I had years ago. Beginner here, and I'm curious about your take on a couple of related scenarios:
1. I frequently get what could possibly be approach invitations, in the form of a linger, but usually without getting eye contact. (Example: Girl shows up out of nowhere a few feet from me at store, looks past me at some things on the wall a second or two then walks away in opposite direction). I usually don't open in such cases since I'm not sure. So, my question is - can the linger sometimes be considered some sort of an ambiguous test (to see if I'm confident enough to approach)? FWIW, I'm 6-3/190, fit and I'm pretty sure I come across as a masculine guy.
2. I've noticed quite a few times lately when I've started a conversation with a woman (either single or married), she'll start to twist a ring and slide it up and down her finger. I've seen varying opinions on this but from your experience, would you say that's a sign she's interested in something? Or is it just nothing at all?
Thanks!
Re: Body Language Ambiguity?
KOC-
Yep, linger is quite often nothing more than just a regular old approach invitation. Girls know what they’re doing… only the most distracted women will do it fully accidentally.
And, playing with objects, especially if there’s a sliding-along-a-cylindrical-object bent to the playing (hand sliding up and down a glass, fingers stroking a straw, running a ring up and down her finger, etc.) tends to mean she’s thinking about stroking something else.
That said, playing with rings on your fingers can also just be something you do, so impossible to read too much into it.
The rule of thumb with women though is if it’s clear as day, she won’t do it. Look for ambiguous signals and assume they’re her expressing her interest as obviously as she feels safe doing.
Chase
Interesting Article
Hey Chase,
Great article. I love articles where you delve into the fleeting, almost fake aspects of females and how to deal with it. I literally recommend your site to all my single friends.
I have two questions for you that are puzzling me:
1- When setting up a second date after a good sexual first date, is it recommended or acceptable to have the girl pick you up from your house? I'm talking about younger women here. I do this because I believe it sends a lover vibe as opposed to a provider one. A provider's more likely to pick her up, in my opinion.
Also, I think it makes her invest a bit more. What do you think? Should I not be doing this?
2- If a woman is expecting a provider-type of guy based on my online dating profile, but instead I come off as more the lover type on the first date, is this a bad thing? Is it too much of a bait-and-switch or is it always good to be more on that lover spectrum?
Thanks a bunch, Chase.
Kevin
Driving, Profile Expectations
Kevin-
Cheers for the recommendations, man!
If by a sexual first date you mean you and her slept together, I’d recommend you just have her come over, park, and hang out at yours to do nothing more than talk and shag, assuming you have the logistics for that:
How to Start a Relationship with a New Girlfriend
That said, if it was just third base kind of sexual or if you don’t have privacy at your place (or, if she’s just being skittish about being alone with you again), perfectly fine to have her pick you up. If somebody has to drive, I prefer it be the girl myself.
As for the online bait-and-switch thing, hard to say. I haven’t played around with setting up a provider-style profile so don’t have direct experience with switching, but I think the numbers are something like only 30% to 40% of women you’ll meet up with off of online ever even read your profile, and people often aren’t anything like their profiles in real life anyway. I know every time I’ve met up with a girl offline, I immediately forget whatever was in her profile because those were just dry (or silly) words and now here’s this real live girl with personality and zest. I imagine it’s the same for girls… My suspicion would be the profile really doesn’t matter too much for how the date proceeds in-person. Photos and messages likely set the lion’s share of the expectations.
Chase
Why do women prefer experienced men?
In this very well articulated article, you stated: "women prefer men who are experienced with women over men who are inexperienced with women."
Why is this the case? What's going thru women's minds when they make an evaluation between a so-called experienced/polished man, and an inexperienced/unpolished one? Is it women's hypergamic tendency to trade up in the dating arena (i.e., they want a man that they feel isn't their equal or their inferior?)
Experienced men are more likely than not to be able to be tied down by any one woman...yet women want these kind of men, the kind they can't have (long-term). From a logical perspective this is a losing proposition, but the heart wants what the heart wants I guess. So if you can clarify why, that'd be helpful!
Why Women Date Experienced Men
Curious-
It all comes back to preselection:
How Preselection Works to Get You Girls
If you consider the number of possible factors a girl has to assess to really get a feel for how you compare to every other guy she meets who’d like to date her, it starts to seem clearer why women rely so much on preselection.
If she needs to evaluate a man on, say, 500 different dimensions of varying importance, and maybe 20 or so dimensions of great importance, and of course men will lie and deceive and puff themselves up and try to act better and sexier and more accomplished or trustworthy or reliable than they actually are, it starts to look like a pretty daunting task to evaluate all that.
If you then take a woman who looks for just one single catch-all quality, like confidence, that gives her a rough idea about how successful this guy probably is with other women of her caliber or better, and uses that as her baseline to evaluate him from, it makes sense.
A more experienced man will tend to be more confident, more relaxed, have better frame control, etc., around women, and these serve as indirect clues about how well received he’s been by other women (which then tells her that other women have evaluated him and found him worthy… or, if he’s clearly inexperienced, the opposite is true: he’s untested merchandise).
Experienced men can be and eventually are tied down by some girl at some point. What women are doing in a hookup culture like is so prominent in the West is progressively working their ways through various types of men to find out what kinds of men they can get themselves:
When an inexperienced girl goes for an experienced guy, she’s wading in to try her hand with a man of his apparent caliber and see if she’s able to rope him in.
When an experienced girl goes for an experienced guy, she’s either going in because she thinks she stands a good chance at getting him, she’s still evaluating whether she can get men like him, or she’s gambling to see if he’s a guy later on the settle down curve whom perhaps she can snag in an upset victory (and there are also just girls with high sex drives who aren’t thinking long-term at all and just want a good roll in the hay).
If a woman discovers she can’t tie down her top picks as she ages (e.g., she’s a 6 but she’s been hooking up with 10s, who she discovers won’t commit to her… to use the 1-to-10 scale I usually don’t like), she gradually lowers her sights to discover what a realistic range for her is. That’s when you meet the girls who say, “I used to hook up, but now I just want something serious” – she’s burned out on 10s and 9s and 8s and now she’s looking for a good 7 or 6, which previous experience tells her is about the limit of what she can hold onto – to settle down with.
The girls who are 10s start dating guys who are 9s and 10s when young, and often end up marrying quite young because there’s no reason for them to stay single too long and continue to explore. The girls who are 9s start dating guys who are 9s and 10s when young, and often have a number of committed long-term boyfriends and end up marrying fairly young themselves.
The girls who are 8s get disappointed after having some relationships and hooking up some with 9s and 10s and eventually quit dating the 10s and focus just on 8s and 9s. And maybe they marry a 9, or they get fed up with the 9s and focus just on 8s and 7s. Etc.
(and of course these ratings include everything – looks, personality, status, all manner of intangibles and so on)
The girl who’s a 5 and knows she’s a 5 might start out aiming at men who are 7s or 8s and eventually find she has to lower her sights to men who are 4s or 5s or 6s, but it takes time to figure that out.
When a girl’s young, all these very attractive men are on offer and available to her in a hookup culture – it’d be foolish of her not to try and see if she can net one of them for herself. There’s no way for a girl to really KNOW if she’s a 6 or a 10 until she gets out there and finds out what the market is willing to give her, so she has to try first.
Long and short of it: sexually experienced men are the 8s and 9s and 10s of the dating world – they exude confidence, preselection, etc. Younger women want to try these guys out and see if they can be the ones that tame them. Older women either know they can get these guys (they know the guys are in their range) or they’re taking a gamble to see if maybe they’ve found a 9 who’s in “pick a winner” settle down mode and maybe they’re the lucky girl.
So, even though lots of girls are competing for these guys, girls still want them, just like every guy wants the thin hot girl with a sweet personality even though she’s got 20 guys fighting over her, and the average-looking girl with a little extra weight around the waist is sitting over there feeling lonely. People try to maximize their mating options, and only lower their sights once they’ve become convinced that a certain class of mate is off-limits to them (off-limits as a sex partner if you’re a man; off-limits as a committed relationship partner if you’re a woman).
Chase
Super article! I have an experience that can relate to this…
Something very similar happened to me about a month ago with a very pretty female colleague. During some down time at work, she happened to be walking behind me and commented on my now-much longer hair (almost shoulder length now): "You look like a school girl — you need a hair cut!" to which I replied, turning to face her yet without slowing my pace, "I really like YOUR hair…" accompanied by a sly grin. She ate it up! Her face broke into an adorable smile, and for a moment, I could almost sense her heart flutter. She actually did have a new hairstyle with some bangs that I found quite cute on her — I know she felt both flattered that I had noticed as well as impressed that I had the balls to compliment her in the face of her teasing me. I had managed to turn a miserable moment into a flirt, and we both enjoyed it!
This woman has typically enjoyed giving me shit for nonsense in the past, and she is one of the most beautiful women where I work — she knows (perhaps instinctively) that she can get away with being bitchy to most men, even for no good reason. A few years ago, I would have probably said something goofy in a nerdy effort to dodge her negative comment, and then she would have laughed me into an even deeper hole… not today. :)
Thanks to this blog, my mind now works very differently where the wonderful world of women is concerned. I do believe the fact she bothered to say anything about my hair at all is probably a sign of her being attracted to me, and her negative comment was her attempt to deny that fact to herself. My dynamic with her is interesting: at times, she teases me brutally, yet in other moments, she coyly reciprocates my flirting and eye contact.
For years, I had been the very overweight, nerdy guy with no experience with girls, and she's known me since then. Now, I am the cut guy who wears form-fitting fashion unapologetically and playfully accepts teasing from her and other women about how many girls I am seeing at once (even though much of that vibe is hollow buzz I insinuate deliberately — my lay count is currently less than ten). I think she is attracted and curious about sleeping with me but also embarrassed about it — she is also married.
My apologies if this was too long a read, and I hope it does not sound like boasting — hopefully it was uplifting. :)
Cheers!
-M
Teasing
Nice to hear it, Mischief.
Funny how teasing often doesn’t change much from junior high to the workplace, does it?
If she’s teasing you or making fun of you it means she likes you, whether she’s saying your pencil case looks stupid or your hair makes you look like Jesus.
Work’s a weird one with a lot of competing considerations going on there, so often better just to keep the flirting for fun. But if you do decide to pull from there, can certainly make for some adventures…
Chase
Many thanks for your affirmation and advice
Sometimes, when I go back and re-read my own posts, I realize just how wordy and flowery my writing can get — probably too dense a read and therefor tricky for an expert like you to respond to, so I thank you for taking the time to do this. I truly appreciate your words of wisdom and especially that you share so much freely. Hopefully, I can add equal value in return by sharing my own experiences more succinctly.
Adult teasing would make me livid as of only a few years ago… and bitter. I used to think, “what the hell, people still think it's OK to act like this?!” Now, I embrace the challenge of other people's ill behavior like a test — a test for which passing proves strength of character and wisdom. In the case of women, the wisdom to know that a tease actually means you, the guy, are really on her mind — what a flattering sign! Very happy to get your affirmation on this.
I also appreciate and agree with your suggestion to leave things to flirting when it comes to the work place. The last thing any guy needs is to cock up a seduction with a colleague and hurt his career — there's plenty of fish out there!
Although I feel I have come a long way with understanding women over the past three years (thank you for that), my game is still on the rough side — am still largely a beginner when it comes to bedding new women with much frequency. Passive fundamentals (including mental shift) have been my focus the last 18 months or so — otherwise, I tend to play game on the very safe/subtle side for fear of social/professional repercussions… for now. :)
Cheers!
Mischief
Badboy!=Bitter Pussy
I think must people must just assume that you're somewhat bitter at the world or something from your behaviour. This can turn some girls on but in general folks will just think you can't handle your problems and see your attitude as a bit childish.
My opinion is that you just went too far into the dark side. Most guys are nice, boring and accomodating and you're the exact opposite. Some of your beliefs like "everybody is inferior" are really fucking weird too. Even if everybody is inferior, treating them nicely isn't putting them on your level. I treat animals well, but I'm not a dog, you see (I'm not comparing humam beings to dogs, btw).
The genuine sucessful man have no reason to treat people this way. He gets what he wants, he obviously isn't accomodating or acts like he owes people stuff, but he respects people because that's better for everyone (as long as they respect him as well). Just think how you'd act if you had everything you wanted, or you could get anything you wished.
Cheating & Stuck in Roles
Hey Chase,
Great article bro!
Just curious about how you spot cheating in your MLTRs or LTR + ONS as lovers.
Being lover is great! Secret, mysterious, sexual atmosphere...but then there are restrictions too.
Since as a lover, we can't be possessive, can't check their phones, or ask them, and maintain a "you live your life; I live mine" but also implying strongly that if they go for other guys, "you become their woman and not mine" if she brings it up (and they often do these tests ).
But obviously, we're not checking her phone. How do we know if she did so we can reinforce our standards of "you monogamous; I not?
Being a secret lover (not knowing her friends), it makes it hard to find out from anyone else too.
If we don't know, we can't enforce our terms.
I do remember you saying about kissing pattern, shaving or if she starts acting differently and removes investment in the relationship.
But on top of that, how do we bring it up without looking like a boyfriend in MLTR or LTR (her mono; we ONS)? Essentially, looking strong as we do it; not insecure.
Re: Stuck in roles
When we interact with other people while having a identity that underlies in our interactions, we sort of facing autopilot expectations and responses associated within those roles, so we never get to know each other and form a true connection.
Ex. Employee and employee
Employee and boss
Server and customer
Sales and customer
Teacher and student
I noticed how my employees, we talk about work.
How my boss talks about work with employees
And the classical waitress/saleswoman who acts warm and connecting but only as part of her job. (Article: How to pick up hired guns - in short: Talk to them within time constraint; ask them out)
It's a restraint from forming true connections - the masks from being in primary roles.
How do we get past these and form true connections?
Thanks Chase,
Lawliet
Detecting Infidelity, Breaking Out of Roles
Lawliet-
That’d be an article in and of itself!
But here’s a tip: if she goes from passionate to cold, that’s usually a good sign the passion’s gone somewhere else. Exception is if she’s sick, in some kind of malaise, etc. Seems like you’ve taken note of most of the signs I’ve commented on before (kissing, shaving, investment, etc.). A woman can only really be passionate about and devoted to one man at a time.
As for how you bring it up… it’s not a topic you bring up directly. Unless you’re in an open relationship and you want to talk about whom you’re seeing and who she is. Or you’re in a serious relationship and you just want to accuse her outright and see how she reacts with the furnace on her. Otherwise, you can sniff around for hints and pay attention to what changes with her, but it’s one of those things where short of direct evidence or a confession you can only ever be fairly confident one way or the other and never 100% sure.
As for breaking past roles, that’d be another one that needs its own full article. But a lot of that has to do with breaking the individual out of auto-pilot and behaving in ways contrary to what’s expected. Often that’s by being overly familiar, doing lots of self-disclosure and asking for disclosure in turn. Other people will either be pleasantly surprised by this or put off by it, depending on if you’re someone they want to get to know or not!
Chase
Good to see you're still
Good to see you're still writing Chase :)
Further comment on "snub game"?
Superb article, Chase. It clarifies quite a bit of the "irrational" behavior one sees so often from women. It would be great if you would expand on the term "snub game".
"...though some women do use ‘snub game’ like this... usually because they really like men who give lots of chase)."
Is that when women try to make it very obvious they are "ignoring" you, to get some kind of reaction from you? Thanks again!
Snub Game
Gordon-
Yes, that’s exactly what it is.
L.A.’s actually one of the places I’ve seen this used most, so you might be familiar with it!
Some women have learned that the kind of men they like (charming, aggressive men) respond really well to a woman who acts in an over-the-top aloof kind of way. So they catch your eye, then turn their nose up in very dramatic fashion as if you’ve just offended their sensibilities by daring to look at them. And then when you approach, they continue to act as if how dare you talk to them… for a short while.
And then, provided you hang in there and do a good job, they gradually warm up. A little.
They basically position themselves as hard-to-get objects for the men who really like to chase. There are men like this, who give chase and chase hard, and these are the women angling for men like that (and you must employ that type of game, to an extent, to get them, since they’re generally better at being aloof than you will be – aloof game doesn’t work so well on them, but aggressive works great).
Chase
Frat
Chase, I keep hearing that being in a frat is the way to go, I keep hearing that is the only way I will get attractive girls in college.
People keep harping for me to join a frat. and if I dont, my college life will suck.
I really do not want to though. What would you say? can I still have a great experience without doing that? how can I have fun in college and sleep with attractive women without doing the frat thing?
thanks
Frats, Fights
SZ-
Well, it seems like you haven’t made much progress, and what I take it is one of your biggest problems is you just don’t do enough approaches or get the exposure to girls you need to progress.
Getting better at something you’re not good at is about putting yourself in uncomfortable situations where you can learn. Whether that’s committing to go out and do 10 approaches a night 4 times a week, or that’s joining a good frat that’s going to put you in contact with lots of attractive, willing women, it’s uncomfortable at first only until you get used to it. Then it BECOMES comfortable.
I’d suggest you need to get in the habit of living a lot less comfortably. If there’s a good frat you can join that will give you access to attractive women, my recommendation would be to swallow any pride you have about going through hazing and set aside any discomfort you have about being part of a group and go join it.
Re: girl getting pulled away dancing and she goes willingly, just let her go. No good comes of trying to yank her back or trying to crowd out the other guy.
Re: getting in fights, if your ego can’t take it, you’ll have to fight, yeah. If it can though, spend a little time learning to defuse confrontations without being a jackass or a pussy about it, and you may find you even have guys who wanted to fight you now trying to befriend you or buying you drinks. I suggest you pick up a copy of Dead or Alive: The Choice is Yours and read the stuff on attack rituals and defusing potential fights. Far better to only fight if you have to fight and walk away the rest of the time. Easy to accidentally kill a guy if you deck him wrong and his head hits the pavement, and that goes both ways too (you never know if this guy you’re trading blows with has 10 friends waiting out back for you with broken bottles).
Chase
Q
Quick question Chase:
Are there times when two people (you and a girl or a guy) just have so little in common that a conversation with any real depth or length is just not possible and will always be a struggle? I am particularly talking about friends of friends who I socialise with every now and then - I can't really deep dive with them because I have known them a while and it would just seem a bit 'off' to suddenly start deep diving - all that we end up talking about is casual catch up stuff - then after that there's just not much to really say.
We are different people, she's a complete air head (lovely girl but dim). I wonder whether it just is the case sometimes (particularly with people you know) that there just isn't much to say? I love meeting new people and regardles of level of intelligence and age etc there is ALWAYS something interesting to find out about them, they are a person you have never met before, being able to discover their life is beautiful.
But with people you already kind of know... How do you keep the discussion running? Thanks.
Social Circle No Conversation
Leo-
Yeah, I’ve had that occasionally with the lovely airhead types too. The really girly girl bubbly types who are excited to see you but just have zero conversation.
The only thing you can do with them is tell jokes and banter. If you can do that, they love you. But a lot of the time they’re looking to social butterfly in my experience, possibly as a reaction to them knowing they don’t have much to talk about with people and can’t hold their own in a conversation long. So they just look pretty and flit about and get validation pings from everyone.
I try to make it a point to remember as much as possible about people I meet so I can ask them about it the next time I see them. That helps, even with the airhead types. You can ask her, “Hey, so how’d it work out with that actor guy you were seeing?” and her face lights up and she tells you some ridiculous story and you’re both laughing, but you know she doesn’t care about anything you could tell her (even if you had your own actress girlfriend, she probably doesn’t care), and she doesn’t have much else herself to say, so then it’s time for her to flit on.
It’s important to be mindful of others’ goals, too. If someone really wants to talk, she’ll hang around for conversation. If she flits away as soon as things die down, that’s typically a sign she’d rather butterfly than talk to any one person for too long, and that’s often a part of why the conversation never gets far off the ground: she just doesn’t want it to.
Chase
Club
Chase 2 questions about the club or just in general.
1. What do you do when you're dancing with a girl and a guy pulls her away and she accepts his dance? (she doesn't fight back) I ignored it til she came back for one girl, the second girl I put my hand out and she just kept dancing with the other guy.
These were two different times, I would grab the girl back, but I feel that wouldn't be the right way and that would be extreme chasing. Could you explain what to do in that situation?
2. I was arguing with a guy because he did something to get my attention and seemed to want to start with me, I didn't back down and we popped shit to each other.
What would you recommend for something like that? I'm not going out like no punk, I'd rather just get girls, but I can't walk away from that.
thanks
reply
This is a reply to if i did what you said when trying to fight negative thoughts and to approaching.
1. I took up boxing, heavy weight lifting, and I play ball. This helps, but I still think about it from time to time and when I'm not active it runs through my mind a lot.
is there a way I can combat this? or do I need meds? it's has become obsessive and it has been going on for months, 24/7.
I moved away from it, I try to read, all of it.
2. As I rookie with day time approaching, how the hell do I approach 100 women in a day? I have no idea where to start or go, can I even get laid as a beginner doing this?
that is my main problem, I don't see an abundance of attractive women, even at the malls, or clubs, they are very far and few or they are with thier boyfriends.
Even though I don't like to approach, seeing 100 attractive women, even women that are ok and dtf, I would be excited, never seen that much, even in school.
I'd appreciate it if you can give me an idea of where I can meet 100 a day
on the newbie assignment, I got stuck after hi -_-, so yeah, the other parts I haven't been able to do yet, for some reason I freeze. Would like to stop that.
thanks
Obsessive Thoughts, Approaching
SZ-
Be careful with the mood-altering drugs. Even the FDA has come out and admitted they cause an increased risk of suicide, and there are a lot of clues SSRIs may play a role in mass shootings / murders. Even shrimp drinking water with antidepressants in it become suicidal (and there are 46 million Americans drinking water with pharmaceuticals in it):
http://www.infowars.com/what-are-mass-murder-pills/
Obsessive thinking is a problem, but it’s a solvable one. Read this article:
http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-overcome-depression
It takes discipline though. You have to be obsessed with ending the obsessive thought. And it’s uncomfortable to do.
As for 100 approaches in a day, I don’t think that was my recommendation – pretty sure it was 100 in a week. I’ve seen a few guys do 100 approaches a day challenges, but I’ve never seen anyone progress too much from that. When you’re doing that many approaches, the sole objective is to do a kind of hi-and-bye thing that doesn’t do anything for you.
(to tell the truth, 100 approaches a week is excessive too – but I think you need a little “excessive” to shake yourself out of apathy and get yourself out of your head)
As for the Newbie Assignment – sounds like it’s time for you to give it another crack. Check out these articles:
http://www.girlschase.com/content/overcoming-approach-anxiety
http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-demolish-approach-anxiety-forever
http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-develop-approach-addiction-and-des...
Chase
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