Why to Throw Out the 1-to-10 Scale for Rating Women | Girls Chase

Why to Throw Out the 1-to-10 Scale for Rating Women

1-to-10 scaleBefore stumbling into the world of pickup in late 2005, I'd never used the 1-to-10 scale. Maybe that's because I didn't really have friends; I wasn't comparing notes on girls. Or maybe it was because I wasn't trying to impress anyone by telling him I'd nailed a "total 10."

But in pickup, it seemed everyone used the 1-to-10 scale. Girls were 5s, 6s, 7s, 8s, 9s. Debate raged about whether a girl could ever really be a "perfect 10", or if true "10s" were naught but a myth.

Men would post photographs of the girls they slept with, and label a girl an "8", only for other men to chime in and ridicule them: "Dude, THAT girl is an 8? She's a 6, at best! Stop inflating your ratings!"

Then those same men doing the ridiculing would post pictures of girls that they were dating, and claim that these girls were "8s" or "9s"... and they wouldn't look any different from the women those men had just finished calling "5s" and "6s."

If all this seems silly, trite, and petty to you... it is. It's no better than other form of status jockeying and social ladder climbing, where guys try to seize bragging rights and "prove their worth", frequently by simply reporting the number rating of the girls they've gotten and trusting that everyone else knows what that means.

But not only is the 1-to-10 scale highly subjective and an absolutely terrible metric to use for comparing results across multiple individuals... but it destroys your ability to get truly beautiful women, too.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

GET CHASE’S MASTERY PACKAGE

Get Your FREE eBook on Texting Girls

how to text girls pdf

Sign up for our email insights series and get a copy of our popular ebook "How to Text Girls" FREE. Learn more ...

Related Articles from GirlsChase.com

Comments

Hrnek's picture

Hmmmmmm. Got me thinking actually. You see, I am quite analytic person. I developed this judging system because I draw girls but only those who I like. And they are usually very, very pretty. I liked that last picture with those 6 women, because yea, I saw I am looking for a girl whose looks I like. I am disqualifying these girls because of their looks and it feels horrible. I usually dont mind the body, couple of extra pounds and such, I am more into face and her style.

But in public, it all comes down (for me at least) to eye contact. When my eyes meet hers I judge based on how she looks at me. Because the way people look at world is in their eyes and the way they look. As the saying goes, eyes are the windows to the soul.

I mean, I must like her face and her style. I dont mind extra pounds or imperfect body. Someone else needs perfect body and disqualifies girls based on this. So I would suggest them to just look at face and point out in their head what they like about that for example. But what do I do when she looks at me? For me it is most accurate kind of judgement. But when she looks at me and I see "you have no chance" or it might be "ugh, he looks weird, I wonder if he really is" with slight interest and postponing her judgement of me. Other times it is like "ah, I guess I will have pancakes for dinn... ah, he is looking at me, better move my eyes here... oh yea, pancakes for dinner".

What is your opinion on this? I certaintly go for girls whose face and style I like but the most important thing for me is how she looks at me.

phelwan's picture

Hrnek,

The man that never took the chance, never had the chance. Live by this.

Phelwan

Hrnek's picture

Well I am usually like "Ok, let's find out". Then I experience fail attempt and self-reflect what went wrong. And the problem I ran into is: My approach was bad, I came off wrong and such OR the problem was in her. She did not feel like talking, she is commited to her boyfriend. At the end, I am usually like: "Well if I was better, if I did not have red nose because of cold or my posture was better or I said it with better tone or was better shaved, did not move my head there OR just was much sexier and attractive she would not be that cold to me. I realized I have troubles striking light conversation early on, some little joke or witty remark to ease her. But the way she looks at me is usually right. And I am more like: "Ah, ok so that look was more of a - I dont feel like talking to right now."

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Hrnek-

Usually, good eye contact is a good indication you'll get a warm reception from a girl, yeah. Whether or not you approach regardless depends on where your ego's at just yet, and how far into learning to get good with girls you are. But generally, when you're a beginner, the things you see as "sure bets" are usually only a small portion of the REAL "sure bet" signals women are throwing your way because until you approach EVERYTHING, you don't learn what's real and what's an illusion.

Case in point: if I have a woman look at me and act overly dramatically dismissive, I'll often approach her straightaway, even if I wasn't planning on it. 70% of the time, these women will reject you HARD the instant you approach. But the other 30% of the time, it turns out they were "playing aloof", and were doing that specifically to get you to notice them and pursue them. So when you come in with something very sharp and witty, they laugh, try to play aloof a bit more, and then start warming up very fast.

That might also just be a confidence / experience thing; these days, if a girl does anything other than neutrally break eye contact with me, my first thought is, "Oh, she SO wants me on her!" which... is not always the case. But SOMETIMES it is, with women that most men would think were completely uninterested in them.

The only way you find out is by approaching women like that repeatedly, until you get a fair idea of how often what they're doing genuinely reflects how they're feeling, and how often what they're doing is merely designed to get your attention because what they'd REALLY like is to meet you.

Chase

African boyo's picture

Hi chase i just wanted to ask how one would go about becoming the leader of social circle thats already established. Basically from becoming an outsider to leading the group and becoming its focal point. Is this even possible??

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Boyo-

It is possible, but it's normally a slow game of gradually winning converts and eventually pulling off a coup, unless there's already a power vacuum when you enter that circle. Essentially, if you join a circle and there's no clear leader, you can quickly rise to the top if you know what the group needs and your suggestions and leadership are welcome and good.

If there's an entrenched leader though, you'll really only steal the group away from him after you've invested considerable time building a good reputation within the group, gathering up as many people as in it as close friends and allies as possible, and gradually making additional suggestions about what to do that the group likes and responds to more than it does to the leader of that group. At some point, once you're established enough, it's then time for a coup; you'll wait for a moment when the leader is making a really bad suggestion that the group clearly dislikes, and you'll make an alternate good suggestion that the group responds to. The more the leader fights to have the group follow his leadership, the bigger the groups rejection will be when it chooses to follow you, and the more successful the coup. Usually, the failed leader will leave the group.

If you join a group where the leader is very charismatic and very much in-tune with what the group wants and needs, you probably won't be able to take charge of the group; the best you can hope for is to become his second-in-command, and inherit leadership of the group when he tires of it or moves on.

I'd recommend the article on being an alpha male for a more in-depth grasp on leading groups, but I'd also caution it isn't quite all it's cracked up to be - you're often the most desirable guy in the group by default, but leading a group sucks up a LOT of time, can be very headache-inducing, and I'd probably only recommend it in a closed setting without much new person flux - something like high school, or a small college in a small town, or a work environment in the middle of nowhere where you can't get out and meet more people otherwise. Outside of small, closed environments, heading up a group is usually more trouble than it's worth and you can get better payoffs elsewhere.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey chase.. !

Intrigued a girl in a conversation something about something I am going to do and then she begged me to tell about it.

I resisted it with a smile to tease her more.. but unfortunately, even though I don't like to tell this, it was ended up with sad. She got really upset with me at the end of that conversation.

I am pretty good at intriguing these days, but I can't handle it after all..

To be honest, I really don't know, you have ever faced a this kind of situation, but I would like to know,
If you were me chase, how would you handle it.. ?

Do you tell it after all ?
How to handle the end of this situation with happiness instead of sad.. ?

Thank you.. !

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Yes, that's the DANGER of intrigue... that you overdo it, and build up an immense amount of anticipation around a certain thing. I used to do it with girls who for one reason or another wondered if I was gay... I would just lead them on and lead them on and not give them an answer. It drove them REALLY wild and they'd start going crazy, but it reached the point where they'd start auto-rejecting out of frustration or to try to force a reaction out of me just to find out if I was or not.

For "crucial" questions these days, my recommendation is that you use just enough intrigue to spike her interest, then give her a matter-of-fact answer to avoid the issue becoming a big deal, and find a more productive way to build intrigue.

That might look like this:

Her: Are you gay?

You: Oh - why so interested?

Her: I just want to know! Are you?

You: Planning to ravish me if I'm not? Or maybe you only like gay men?

Her: No, I just want to know!

You: I can see that... you're positively dripping with desire.

Her: Tell me!

You: Well, what do you think?

Her: I don't know... yes!

You: Why's that?

Her: Because you dress too well to be straight!

You: [laughs] Well, I'll take that as a compliment! But no, I'm not gay. I do have a lot of gay men hit on me, though.

Her: Well, gay men have good taste!

You: [smile]

This way, instead of drawing it out forever, you build up her anticipation, use it to get her chasing after an answer from you, and then eventually give it to her (after making her guess, and asking her why she guessed what she did). Thus, she gets some satisfaction, and instead of being fixated on that one thing, you can now move on to something else in the conversation.

Another way of dealing with this is just to not even get into the topic: as soon as she asks, just give her an answer, and build intrigue another way. She asks, "Are you gay?" and you say, "No - do I look gay?" Now you're into a conversation where she's trying to qualify her incorrect assumption about you, which also puts you in the driver's seat.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

So now I'm curious Chase. Do you think it's valuable to keep a journal or write field reports about our experiences or to not do any of that kind of reflection?!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Yes, absolutely! It's probably one of the more valuable things you can do for your development: it forces you to go back through an interaction, recall all the details, write them down, and you'll very often realize places where you made mistakes and can easily do better the next time around while you do. It provides public accountability, and often an added motivation to get out there - to show all your friends on the discussion forum that you're still getting out there - and opens you up for additional feedback from others reading your reports.

The only recommendation I'd make is that when meeting a girl you REALLY like, whom you're really excited about, try to avoid writing or thinking too much about her until she's already yours and you've taken her as a lover, to avoid sabotaging yourself by making her bigger in your mind.

Chase

Thedoctor's picture

The funny thing is i scrapped the 10 pt rating scale a long time ago. Main reason being that my "10" was most guys' "7' or "8"'s. Or so I used to be told by people whose opinion I never asked for. These guys would tell me these girls are cute, not hot, and often tell me I could do better. And when I dated a girl who was a "10" on their scale, but an "8" on mine, I told myself I'd scrap it the whole thing and go for YES/NO.

Either I want to sleep with her or I don't want to sleep with her.

A common response to this is: "well yeah, but she's not dating material." to which I reply "I want to sleep with her, if and when it happens, I will then decide whether I want to date her, cause that may factor into my decision"

It always boils down to a YES/NO. You either want to or you don't. People get confused because alcohol often becomes involved in the situation and that YES/NO line nose dives.

Just my thoughts. Keep up the phenomenal work Chase!

-John

Zac's picture

Amazing,

It's like once a man is able to see through or know that beauty is like a "variable", a label, you tend to do your stuff, and apparently, all masters of any field tend to see things as variables. (That's a compliment. Haha..)

The girlfriend i had was good, but she didn't seem "existent" until i took notice a year later that she was indeed beautiful, because my cousins said she was.

Your article will help other guys remove another barricade. :)

Zac

Flames's picture

I can't really say I've been a fan of 1-10 ratings ever and I agree that's it's entirelly subjective anyway. There so many things that make people attractive I would be doing myself an injustice to pick out one thing and prefer to see a girl as a whole. I'm actually quite attracted to a girl at the moment who just smells really good. Would I date her? Probably not, but I can't help taking a deep breath whenever she's around. How's that for weird? :)

You've also lightly touched on why I never write field reports. Apart from me not being a fan of kiss and tell. I wouldn't really gain anything from writing a successful report except a mild ego stroke from the community and my 'failures' I really don't see as failure anyway. It's not that big a deal if nothing happens with a certain girl and I'm more than capable of working out where I went wrong.

Aside from that in that pic of those 6 girls I only really thought the two either side were attractive looking, and indeed the one on the left looked like the girl I was chatting to last Friday night.

Regards
Flames

Black Mystery's picture

Hey Chase,
Currently 19. I used to be confident while approaching beautiful stranger chicks.
But last year something happen that stops me now approaching beautiful girls.
I did compliment to a girl in my class last year who was 18 years old, cute but lack in personality development and ultimately experience. Regardless of this I did approach her and asked her," Is anything special today? Cause you are looking beautiful." That moment she didn't say anything just had weird gesture on her face and she moved one step away from me as if I am going to rape her.
That was so discouraging I tell you. I was wondering what the hell did I say so much for such a response? Usually girls respond well. Since that day, whenever I plan to talk to a girl memories of that incident stop me. I literally regret for talking to her.
Have you ever been through this chase? How do you trouble shoot yourself?
Thanks in advance;)

Black Mystery

Author
Chase Amante's picture

BM-

Yeah, I've had plenty of incidents like those, though they never stopped me for long. My reaction when these happen comes in two parts:

  1. "Well, SHE'S a total weirdo!" That's my first thought after a heartless rejection like this. Who rejects people like that? Only complete weirdos who get off on making other people feel bad.

  2. "[laughs] I totally botched that one." Once emotions have cooled down and I can take a step back, I laugh about how horrible my opener must have been to get that kind of a reaction, and stop and figure out what I did wrong so I can tweak it. Usually it's a case of going in with awkward timing / awkward body positioning / awkward eye contact or facial expressions / some combination of the above.

In your case, that sounds like the kind of comment you'd make to a girl you know really well and speak with every day, but if she's reacting the way she did I'd imagine she wasn't someone you knew really well and spoke with every day. When you use a, "My, aren't YOU different today!" comment with someone you never talk to, what that communicates is, "Hey, we never talk, but I watch you every day, and I've been tracking what you do! Today you're different!" which makes you sound uncomfortabley stalker-like.

The "what's the occasion" opener also frequently feels like too much prying and/or like you don't really "get it"... when I have women come up to me and ask me what the occasion is for XYZ thing I'm wearing, I just want to smack them and say, "Don't you get it? I don't NEED an occasion... if I want to dress in something nice, I'm going to dress in something nice! Duh!"

That said... I used the "Oh, what's the occasion?" opener plenty of (awkward) times when I was starting out, and it always gets a lukewarm reaction at best - just something you've got to try and fail at until you realize it's not something a socially savvy person uses to spark a conversation with a stranger.

If you want to use direct or compliment openers, I'd recommend the following articles on these:

Chase

African boyo's picture

How do you respond to a girl who asks yo see your phone...i usually say no and usually a fight follows and i end up supplicating...this happens with almost all my girlfriends...how do i stop this dynamic from developing in the first place

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Boyo-

I usually respond with, "Why, because you want to text all my exes and tell them to stay away from your man?"

And she'll say, "No, I just want to see it!"

And you'll say, "Right... so you can delete all my previous text message histories, or get upset about what I texted girls in the past, or remove every remotely female-sounding person's phone number from my phone. No thanks."

And she'll say, "No, I PROMISE I won't do ANY of that stuff!"

And you'll say, "No fucking way, every time I've EVER let a girl see my phone in the past, it's been drama."

And she'll say, "I promise! NO drama!"

And you'll say, "No. Women always promise there's going to be no drama, and then break out ridiculous oceans of drama over the most stupid, inane shit. My phone's locked, my phone's staying locked, and you're not going to get in there, delete stuff, call people, and cause me drama and headaches, and that's it."

You just maintain that stance: letting her into your phone means she's going to mess things up and cause you headaches, and therefore you are NOT letting her into your phone. And she'll stay on the defensive, justifying herself and pleading for it, and you'll just keep hitting her with how much drama she's going to cause, no matter how much she PROMISES not to (these promises are never kept, by the way - any time a woman tells you "No drama - PROMISE!" you can be sure that a tidal wave of drama is certain to follow if you give in to whatever request she's making).

If she doesn't like it and won't leave it alone, then leave. She'll come around and apologize for her childish behavior when she realizes you have good cause for not letting her into your phone and she's being immature.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase.I have already red some request for you regarding PE problems article, and it would be much apreciated.Mainly because thanks to your articles and advices, guy can exibit alpha-male behavior and generate attraction in such ways that girl think you must be most awesome lover ever, but you cant confirm her beliefs in the sack.
My problem is not exactly premature ejaculation ( not a two pump chump, althought i woul really love i could last longer ), but as i sad before, based on my behaviour ( fun, charismatic, good sence of humor, very good at sexual framing and sexual inuendos, teasing etc.) i feel in bedroom i am disapointment for girls, not because i am that bad but because based on my behaviour they expect guy with tons of experience who will f.ck their brains out.
I dont think i am bad lover, but again based on my behaviour they expect much, much more !!! I can say that i am skilful at touching, kising and foreplay, but i lack at department of lasting long enough during intercourse, to give girls great experience.
thanks !!!

Trevor Joren's picture

Cool Man,

I have been waiting to discover that article that really hooks me. Your article was so damn good in fact that I went all the way through the comments. I can't say that I have done that before. When I got through them I had a nice flavor. It really is the best part. It shows this a good blog, with a strong community. Hats off to you Chase!

I do have a question for you though Chase. I am curious to understand people's reaction to the work that you do. I mean, it is admirable that you write about your passions, but when they find out it has to do with PUA techniques, what are some common reactions you face. I'd also like to hear some of your responses.

Anonymous's picture

The big flaw with 1-10 system is that it focuses on completely wrong things. Most guys think that 10 has to be flawless like pics on cover of men's magazines and whatnot. What they don't realize is that those covers are heavily photoshopped and women wear tons of makeup there as well. Also perfection does not guarantee visceral attraction at all. Pic of Mona Lisa is probably perfect aesthetically, yet somehow it doesn't get me going.

Therefore solution is just to evaluate intensity of personal attraction towards specific woman.

Add new comment

The Latest from GirlsChase.com