Tactics Tuesdays

Once you've begun working on your abilities to pick up girls for a little while, you'll soon find you run into a flavor of situation again and again that manifests in a variety of forms and a variety of ways: girls acting not as you expected them and you feeling a little surprised, shaken, and fazed.

This post is all about how you can be unfazed, even in the face of the sometimes-disorienting behavior of new women you'll meet while out and about.

Because as you'll come to realize, getting fazed - and remaining unfazed - isn't necessarily about having already been through every situation already. Instead, what it's actually about is a state of mind and freedom from "hoping" for a specific outcome to come about that you can't control.

In addition to that, there are a number of specific, technical steps you can take that will free you from the risk of ending up fazed at some point, because they avoid taking you down the roads that most often lead to guys getting fazed.

And the funny thing is, the more you're able to remain unfazed, the better able you are to bring about the things that can end up seeming out-of-reach to the men who do get fazed.

But, we're getting a bit abstract. Before I say more, first allow me to explain.

Yesterday evening I was out walking home, when I noticed a tall, thin girl with long hair and a good body in front of me, walking very carefree in heels, tight jean shorts cut off just below the butt, and a tank top, swinging her hips very sexy as she went. She turned around and looked back in my direction, then started singing in a very sweet voice. She turned around to look back a few more times - I was walking faster than her, so gaining on her and closing the distance. I thought about approaching, but then thought about what it takes to get approached by women.

Here was a girl throwing off tons of the things you'll see when girls show interest:

• She was blatantly looking back at me (she probably knew I was there before I knew she was; even when you're very socially aware, girls are still often going to be the first to spot you before you spot them)

• She kept looking back at me, which means there was something that was very interesting to her... or, she was trying to get my attention

• She started singing, which you might not realize, but women will often start to sing or talk on their phones to attract male attention (you can use this same tactic yourself; we'll see that in a moment)

I didn't particularly feel like approaching - I was tired and worn out from a long day, and I wasn't dressed the best. So instead, I wanted to see if I could get approached.

And that's what I'm going to talk with you about today: how can you get women to approach you instead of you having to always approach them?

If you saw The Dark Knight, you probably noticed that Heath Ledger's Joker was an extremely captivating and, despite his villainy, charismatic character. And if you've wondered why that is, as I did for some time after first seeing the film, a big part of it revolves around his success at making a point.

The ability to make a point is an ability you won't hear most people talk about, because it isn't one that most people think much about or often even recognize exists as a distinct skill set. But it's a very powerful ability to have, and it's one that aids you enormously in just about every facet of your life. Particularly, with women.

How exactly do you define "making a point," and how to do you get better at making one? And, on top of that, why is it so useful a skill to have? I'll touch on all that and more in today's Tactics Tuesdays post. Do note that this a more advanced technique, and you'll probably need at least a few years of actively picking up girls (or experience in some other similarly intensive enterprise with high social exposure) to start doing this one.

One of the hardest things for me to do when I first started out teaching myself how to seduce women was to give orders and command women.

"You mean, I'm supposed to just tell girls to do stuff, and then they're going to, like... do it?" I thought.

Impossible!

And yet, as I started meeting men in 2006 who were already getting the kinds of results with women I wanted, I watched in awe as they commanded women to do things... and the women just did it.

So, I started playing with that myself.

I began with women I knew well. Then women I'd been talking to for a while.

Then I started pushing the limits on my newfound ability to command women.

I started doing it with women I'd just started talking to. With women I'd just met. I even started giving commands to women as the very first thing I said to them.

And it just kept working.

As I went, I learned how to command women better and better, in ways that they instantly followed - voice tone techniques, specific ways of wording a command, and a lot more - that made it easier and easier to pull off seemingly ridiculous things with women I hardly knew. This post is about how to do what I learned to do when it comes to commanding women.

Some years back, as I played around with cold reading, I soon found it often wasn't to my advantage to label people. I'd try; coming up with all kinds of cutesy labels like, "Ah, so you're an adventurer," or, "You're a pretty ambitious person, then." These were seemingly positive labels, but often the women I used them with would reject them. "No, not really," they'd say. It was odd.

I began to realize there was power in labeling. When you label someone, you are, in effect, telling them who or what they are. You're setting yourself up in the position of deciding someone else's identity.

That gives you great power if you can pull it off. It also gives you great responsibility toward the people you label.

But it also opens you up to being knocked down a peg or two, the same way we discussed combating people trying to "tool" you or make you look silly or weak in "Dealing with Disruptive Men;" basically, by politely but firmly shutting this down.

As I began to explore labels more, I gradually got better at using them correctly with other people - and shutting down the efforts of people who sought to use them in a damaging way with me.

Commenting on the post on building social status, a reader asks the following about how to be a warm person:

“Hi Chase, great site, great article. Could you discuss more about warmth? You discuss it quite often, but you could dive into this topic more in-depth? It's a powerful tool to use in all aspects of life, so your breakdown of this would be much appreciated!

Thanks”

Happy to oblige, Anonymous.

Back in 2001, a young female customer walked back into the tire store where I worked as a technician and salesman to complete a transaction she'd begun the day before with me. I wasn't there, so another salesman helped her. "That guy who helped me yesterday was nice," she told him, referring to me, "but I felt like he had bad intentions."

When this salesman told me she'd said this, I was surprised; I knew I'd adopted an edge over the past few years - it had been designed specifically to make sure no one would want to fight me, since I was always alone and frequently in dangerous situations. But I didn't think it was actually scaring off women.

I went to work trying to change it, but even a year later, friends on my college dorm room floor told me, "The girls on the 7th floor said, 'That kid with the red hair is scary.'"

When I heard this, the first thing I thought was, "All right. I've adjusted my face for men - to be intimidating and frightening - long enough. It's time I adapt myself for women instead."

Within a few years, I was regularly hearing things like the following:

"I only just met Chase, but I felt like we'd been friends for ages."

"It's so great hanging out with you; I feel like I can tell you anything."

"Spending time talking to you makes me feel like I can breathe."

How I figured out how to be a warm person and how I made the switch to that from "scary and intimidating" is what I'll detail in this post.

In the comments section under the post on "Get Girls in Bed," a reader writes in asking about dance floor game:

“Hey Chase,

Been reading your blog for the past couple of months now, and I think there's less than 10 articles to go until I have read everything on your website.

Awesome stuff to say the least, I feel like I've hit a goldmine after reading your pieces.

From your writings I can see you are not the biggest fan of seducing women in clubs since it's loud and not conducive to many aspects of seduction. However, I keep seeing guys who do pretty well in clubs. Can you write a piece on gaming in clubs? Particularly what to do on the dance floor when conversation isn't really an option?

Thank you.

Best regards,

A”

In fact, as I commented in my response to A, I do like nightclubs for meeting women - I've hands down spent more time honing my abilities with women in them and have met more women at bars and nightclubs than anywhere else - but I find them to be some of the most difficult places to do well with women for most guys, the environments in them are the most stacked against a man you'll see, and they're among the worst places to look for girlfriend-quality women you can go to... so I tend to recommend against them for guys when giving advice.

But, for straight training purposes, for coating your skin with a layer of steel and developing rock-solid frame control, and for quick pick ups once you've got your vibe and your process down right, clubs are hard to beat.

A's question is one of the first one's that come to mind when you start thinking about nightclubs though, and it's one we haven't discussed in any detail on this site yet: what do you do about dance floor game?