Tactics Tuesdays: Command Women (and Have Them Listen)

command womenOne of the hardest things for me to do when I first started out teaching myself how to seduce women was to give orders and command women.

"You mean, I'm supposed to just tell girls to do stuff, and then they're going to, like... do it?" I thought.


And yet, as I started meeting men in 2006 who were already getting the kinds of results with women I wanted, I watched in awe as they commanded women to do things... and the women just did it.

So, I started playing with that myself.

I began with women I knew well. Then women I'd been talking to for a while.

Then I started pushing the limits on my newfound ability to command women.

I started doing it with women I'd just started talking to. With women I'd just met. I even started giving commands to women as the very first thing I said to them.

And it just kept working.

As I went, I learned how to command women better and better, in ways that they instantly followed - voice tone techniques, specific ways of wording a command, and a lot more - that made it easier and easier to pull off seemingly ridiculous things with women I hardly knew. This post is about how to do what I learned to do when it comes to commanding women.


Why Commands Are a Good Thing

If you're on this site, it's safe to assume by now you know the importance of moving fast with women. The guys who move fast get the girl; the guys who take their time have attraction expire on them and then they're chasing after girls forever after.

And you probably know the importance of gaining investment with women; when a girl's invested in you, she's a lot more likely to follow your lead, a lot more likely to feel attraction for you (women are attracted to strong, powerful men who lead them... and not so much to weak men, who follow them / chase them, or to men they're neutral with who are neither commanding them nor following them), and a lot more likely to end up together with you, when all is said and done.

Well, when you command women, you do both of these things. Commands:

  1. Help you speed up the process, and commands also
  2. Get women investing and following your lead.

What's not to love?

If you get good at commanding women, it becomes really easy to get success with a lot more women than you might believe.

But... most guys never get good at this. Even a lot of men you'll see who are naturally very good with women often aren't able to command women to do things - and their seductions are more often left to chance than their own ability to steer and direct them.

What's it take to learn to command?

A couple of things. They are:

  • You've got to swallow the pill and start commanding girls
  • You've got to take the time to learn the right kinds of commands
  • You've got to take the time to learn the right voice tone to get good results

But once you've got those down, you get a very powerful new weapon in your arsenal: the ability to tell women what to do... and have them listen.

Interested in having a tool like that in your toolbox?


How to Command Women

command womenI'm going to talk about those three things now: starting doing it, the right kinds of commands, and the right voice tone.

Let's talk about starting out first.

If you're like most men, you've been trained since birth on how to be a gentleman. You know that, of course, a gentleman does nice things like hold a door for a lady and compliment a lady on her choice of attire; and you know that a gentleman always pays for a date and takes his lady somewhere respectable.

And you also know that, aside from a few, "After you, miss," and, "Ladies first,"s, you never tell a woman to do anything. After all, it's all about freedom and equality in our society these days... nobody wants to be TOLD what to do - right?

Well, right - at least, they don't want to be told what to do at work.

And they don't want to be told what to do by their friends.

And they don't want to be told what to do by their parents.

And they'll tell you they don't want to be told what to do by their lovers.

But who do women get attracted to? Do they get attracted to those nice, neutral guys who never ask anything of them and always just give? Do they sit there in a hot sweat at night thinking about how William held the door open for them?

No way.

Women get attracted to men who make them chase. Men who make them invest.

Men like you - once you get comfortable giving commands, that is.

You're most probably going to be fighting to overcome years of "agreeableness" training that Western society trains its youth with. "Don't step on anybody's toes," is great advice for not getting in fights with people, but it's not exactly great for getting a girl's pulse to quicken and face to flush. Instead, you've got to be a man... a commanding man.

You've just got to start doing it, get over the discomfort, and become comfortable ordering women around.

What kinds of commands should you give to women, anyway?

Commands like this:

  • "Have a seat."
  • "Move over a little bit."
  • "Slide down a bit on the bar here."
  • "Give me your hand."
  • "Let me try your drink."
  • "Turn around, let me see your dress."
  • "Don't leave, we just started talking."
  • "Join me for lunch."
  • "Let's head back and watch a movie."

How often do you say things like that to a girl? If your answer is, "Not often," or, "Never," then you definitely need to overhaul your interactions with women.

If that feels intimidating, stop for a second and ask yourself if you ever hear women talk this way with guys... or if they ever talk this way with you. You'll probably realize that you do. Women in our society are used to having to lead men, because many men are too agreeable - or too afraid, perhaps - to lead themselves.

Of course, women aren't actually attracted to those men they're forced to lead.

Instead, you want to be leading them.

When do you command women like this? Throughout an interaction.

And how do you command them?

Here are examples of what your voice tones ought to sound like (note: thanks to Eric from the comment section below for helping to get this working):

Wrong Voice Tone Right Voice Tone

You want to be using the voice tones I use in the "right" example (on, fittingly enough, the right side of the table above).

Notice how, "Give me your hand," sounds a lot more like, "Give me your hand?" When you intone a command like a question, you're a lot more likely to get compliance early on when a woman is still skeptical about you. But when you're telling her to come sit with you or go back to your place later, you'll want to drop this.


  • Question-like tone early, when a woman's getting used to following you
  • Firmer, more inviting tone later once she's accustomed to following now

By using these, you can get women following you easily and well - and then you can start doing the crazy stuff.

"Come, move over here with me," you can say as you first meet a girl. She'll seem a little confused, akin to "Who IS this guy?" but if you're confident and you guide her along and you say it with the right intonation, you've actually got a pretty high percentage chance of having her come with you if you're not making her walk very far.

You can try all kinds of stuff, actually. I've opened girls with things like, "Let me see your hand," then brought the hand up around me and pulled the girl in and had girls try to kiss me (turn your head so they only get your cheek if you want a better chance of pulling them home with you without a lot of resistance later; alternately, if you're just having fun and seeing how far you can push things at the beginning, it's fine to let them kiss you).

Basically, if you're not using commands with women, you're missing an important part of your pick up utility belt.

So... start using them!

See you 'round the bend.


Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Eric's picture

Chase Amante's picture

Thanks Eric, that worked perfectly. Much appreciated.


Al's picture


Nice article. Liked the inclusion of sound clips - very useful and keeps things fresh.

The 'have a seat' line gave me a good chuckle. If you told me that recording was Chris Hanson, I'd probably believe you. Very similar intonation.

And that's as good a reason as any to adopt this voice tone. Notice how Chris Hanson pretty much always gets compliance, even though the predator's first instinct is surely to run away.

Hey, if you can make hardened sexual predators bend to your will, that cute, slightly shy girl behind the checkout shouldn't be too much of a challenge right?

As a side point Chase, have you considered writing some articles on sexual technique? The site is getting to the stage now where seemingly every aspect of getting girls has been covered. As far as I'm concerned, this is the only obvious gap.

Following on from the 'Being really, really good in bed' article, I honestly reckon this could be the key to skyrocketing your readers' game.

Let's face it, as long as you have any hangups about your sexual ability, you'll probably never get that all important 'sexy' vibe down. Even if you get your outward fundamentals tight as hell, there will still always be a little voice in the back of your mind saying 'all this game is just bravado man. When it comes to it you probably won't be able to satisfy her.' And I'm sure girls will pick up on that.

In fact, part of the reason why I never used to get girls was because a worryingly big part of me didn't actually WANT to succeed. I desperately wanted to get laid, but at the same time I was afraid to go for the close in case - heaven forbid - I got it. I would rather not try than risk the girl discovering that the confident, charming guy she thought she'd met was in fact shocking in bed.

I've largely cracked that one now, but there's still a part of me that holds back and acts as a less sexual man than I should - because I'm not entirely sure I can deliver as 'that guy.'

However, any time when I have tested out full-on 'eye fuck' mode, it's been absolute dynamite - even with stunning girls. If I just felt qualified to be like that whenever I pleased, I'm sure a whole lot more sex would ensue.

Anyway, why don't you take a seat and let me know what you think man?


Chase Amante's picture

Hey Al,

Ask and you shall receive!

How to Be a Good Lover


Benjamin's picture


I'm quickly implementing your strategies and it's getting stronger, and stronger with time. And...

telling females WHAT to do was one of those experiments that *blew my mind* when it worked...because, as you've said, we've been taught to be gentlemen to a *fault*.

Here are a few things I've noticed (that, I'm sure you have too, Chase) in add- ition to what you said:

#1. Females, or...most people for that matter...WANT to be told what to do. I couldn't believe how much happier and attracted women are when the man is the one pulling the reigns...as it should be, but...as it were not taught in western society.

#2. When telling females what to do...if it leads to a good outcome...they'll give you all the credit...and if it's a bad experience...they'll give you all the blame.

Just wanted to add those two points to an already outstanding article that is, from personal experience, 100 percent TRUE.

Gary's picture

This information is Gold...Im definatley going to try it...no wonder pimps get their way all the time...They are really commanding....

Anonymous's picture

Why should one avoid the kiss quickly for a better chance of pulling home later.. ?

Rye Slyer's picture

When I read this tactics, the first thing I thought was: man, this guy knows his sh*t.
Only thing I'd like to point out, was the sentence "don't leave, we just started talking"
The "problem" with this command is the fact you're saying what you don't want them to do.
Your saying that you don't want her to leave (which is, in itself, a very nice thing to do).
What I would say, if I really cared about the fact she was about to leave, would be: "stay here because we just started talking"
Stay here, or sit down.
Worst case scenario would be to grab her arm gently (little to no force) while saying the sentence and looking in her eyes without blinking. Almost as if you're looking through her (don't know if I explain it well enough :-s )
Other than that: Chase, you're the MAN! ;-)

Keep up the good work

Rye Slyer

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