Tactics Tuesdays: Command Women (and Have Them Listen)
One of the hardest things for me to do when I first started out teaching myself how to seduce women was to give orders and command women.
"You mean, I'm supposed to just tell girls to do stuff, and then they're going to, like... do it?" I thought.
And yet, as I started meeting men in 2006 who were already getting the kinds of results with women I wanted, I watched in awe as they commanded women to do things... and the women just did it.
So, I started playing with that myself.
I began with women I knew well. Then women I'd been talking to for a while.
Then I started pushing the limits on my newfound ability to command women.
I started doing it with women I'd just started talking to. With women I'd just met. I even started giving commands to women as the very first thing I said to them.
And it just kept working.
As I went, I learned how to command women better and better, in ways that they instantly followed - voice tone techniques, specific ways of wording a command, and a lot more - that made it easier and easier to pull off seemingly ridiculous things with women I hardly knew. This post is about how to do what I learned to do when it comes to commanding women.
Why Commands Are a Good Thing
If you're on this site, it's safe to assume by now you know the importance of moving fast with women. The guys who move fast get the girl; the guys who take their time have attraction expire on them and then they're chasing after girls forever after.
And you probably know the importance of gaining investment with women; when a girl's invested in you, she's a lot more likely to follow your lead, a lot more likely to feel attraction for you (women are attracted to strong, powerful men who lead them... and not so much to weak men, who follow them / chase them, or to men they're neutral with who are neither commanding them nor following them), and a lot more likely to end up together with you, when all is said and done.
Well, when you command women, you do both of these things. Commands:
- Help you speed up the process, and commands also
- Get women investing and following your lead.
What's not to love?
If you get good at commanding women, it becomes really easy to get success with a lot more women than you might believe.
But... most guys never get good at this. Even a lot of men you'll see who are naturally very good with women often aren't able to command women to do things - and their seductions are more often left to chance than their own ability to steer and direct them.
What's it take to learn to command?
A couple of things. They are:
- You've got to swallow the pill and start commanding girls
- You've got to take the time to learn the right kinds of commands
- You've got to take the time to learn the right voice tone to get good results
But once you've got those down, you get a very powerful new weapon in your arsenal: the ability to tell women what to do... and have them listen.
Interested in having a tool like that in your toolbox?
How to Command Women
I'm going to talk about those three things now: starting doing it, the right kinds of commands, and the right voice tone.
Let's talk about starting out first.
If you're like most men, you've been trained since birth on how to be a gentleman. You know that, of course, a gentleman does nice things like hold a door for a lady and compliment a lady on her choice of attire; and you know that a gentleman always pays for a date and takes his lady somewhere respectable.
And you also know that, aside from a few, "After you, miss," and, "Ladies first,"s, you never tell a woman to do anything. After all, it's all about freedom and equality in our society these days... nobody wants to be TOLD what to do - right?
Well, right - at least, they don't want to be told what to do at work.
And they don't want to be told what to do by their friends.
And they don't want to be told what to do by their parents.
And they'll tell you they don't want to be told what to do by their lovers.
But who do women get attracted to? Do they get attracted to those nice, neutral guys who never ask anything of them and always just give? Do they sit there in a hot sweat at night thinking about how William held the door open for them?
Women get attracted to men who make them chase. Men who make them invest.
Men like you - once you get comfortable giving commands, that is.
You're most probably going to be fighting to overcome years of "agreeableness" training that Western society trains its youth with. "Don't step on anybody's toes," is great advice for not getting in fights with people, but it's not exactly great for getting a girl's pulse to quicken and face to flush. Instead, you've got to be a man... a commanding man.
You've just got to start doing it, get over the discomfort, and become comfortable ordering women around.
What kinds of commands should you give to women, anyway?
Commands like this:
- "Have a seat."
- "Move over a little bit."
- "Slide down a bit on the bar here."
- "Give me your hand."
- "Let me try your drink."
- "Turn around, let me see your dress."
- "Don't leave, we just started talking."
- "Join me for lunch."
- "Let's head back and watch a movie."
How often do you say things like that to a girl? If your answer is, "Not often," or, "Never," then you definitely need to overhaul your interactions with women.
If that feels intimidating, stop for a second and ask yourself if you ever hear women talk this way with guys... or if they ever talk this way with you. You'll probably realize that you do. Women in our society are used to having to lead men, because many men are too agreeable - or too afraid, perhaps - to lead themselves.
Of course, women aren't actually attracted to those men they're forced to lead.
Instead, you want to be leading them.
When do you command women like this? Throughout an interaction.
And how do you command them?
Here are examples of what your voice tones ought to sound like (note: thanks to Eric from the comment section below for helping to get this working):
|Wrong Voice Tone||Right Voice Tone|
You want to be using the voice tones I use in the "right" example (on, fittingly enough, the right side of the table above).
Notice how, "Give me your hand," sounds a lot more like, "Give me your hand?" When you intone a command like a question, you're a lot more likely to get compliance early on when a woman is still skeptical about you. But when you're telling her to come sit with you or go back to your place later, you'll want to drop this.
- Question-like tone early, when a woman's getting used to following you
- Firmer, more inviting tone later once she's accustomed to following now
By using these, you can get women following you easily and well - and then you can start doing the crazy stuff.
"Come, move over here with me," you can say as you first meet a girl. She'll seem a little confused, akin to "Who IS this guy?" but if you're confident and you guide her along and you say it with the right intonation, you've actually got a pretty high percentage chance of having her come with you if you're not making her walk very far.
You can try all kinds of stuff, actually. I've opened girls with things like, "Let me see your hand," then brought the hand up around me and pulled the girl in and had girls try to kiss me (turn your head so they only get your cheek if you want a better chance of pulling them home with you without a lot of resistance later; alternately, if you're just having fun and seeing how far you can push things at the beginning, it's fine to let them kiss you).
Basically, if you're not using commands with women, you're missing an important part of your pick up utility belt.
So... start using them!
See you 'round the bend.
Get Your FREE eBook on Texting Girls
Sign up for our email insights series and get a copy of our popular ebook "How to Text Girls" FREE. Learn more ...