The 3 Things to Know If You Want to Be Charismatic

Some guys seem to be born lucky... They have a natural charisma about them that just magically DRAWS people in. Women are attracted to them, men follow their lead, and everybody likes to be around them. They just KNOW how to be charismatic, and no one ever had to teach it to them.

For centuries, people have been wondering what exactly this magical aura is, and what causes somebody to have it.

In fact, the French call it the “je-ne-sais-quoi” – in English: the “I don’t know what.”

You will even hear women say these exact words when they talk about a man they find irresistibly attractive. “I just don’t know what it IS about him!” – Because often this man isn’t particularly PHYSICALLY attractive.

And while women don’t know why they like him, they also can’t stop calling him, or dropping whatever it is they’re doing to meet up with him… or sleeping with him, for that matter.

Many people simply admit defeat around this kind of man… they think he got lucky, he “has it”, and that “you have to be born with it”.

But is that really logical? If you did the exact same things as this man – if you behaved in the same way, had the same body language, and said the same words – if you KNEW how to be charismatic – wouldn’t you have the same effect on people?

No brainer… of COURSE you would.

A world-famous chef might be able to prepare a better “Crème Brûlée” than you can – and he may have a lot of talent in this area that you don’t have.

But guess what. If you can take the exact same ingredients and combine them in the exact same way, you WILL get the exact same dish.

No two ways about it.

 

Be Charismatic: The Mindset of the Charismatic Man

You have two options.

The first is you can make friends with one of those guys who have this irresistible Personal Magnetism, and imitate everything they do.

Record their conversations, videotape their movements, analyze all the recordings and practice laughing the same way, touching people at the same moment in a conversation and making the same kinds of jokes.

That would, however, be rather lame.

The second option is more interesting: Realize that all his behaviorisms, words and actions spring from a fundamental mindset. He’s not THINKING about what to say next – he simply approaches the entire world with a specific outlook… and everything he does flows NATUARLLY from there.

An example would be an excellent waiter in a restaurant who always gets the biggest tips.

If you were a waiter too and wanted to get the same amounts of cash, you could try to listen in on his conversations with clients and try to imitate everything he does and says.

He himself is probably not even that aware of what he says though – most likely he simply has a certain MINDSET that causes him to act in the right way AUTOMATICALLY (and it’s probably to serve the customers as best he can, and give them an unforgettable experience at the restaurant.)

But hold it now… that’s for WAITERS.

The same mindset would NOT work very well on attractive women. In fact, trying to SERVE them as best you can is probably just about the WORST mindset you could have to spark attraction. This is called supplication - and supplication sucks.

So if serving a woman doesn’t help you to be charismatic... what kind of attitude actually does create IRRESISTIBLE charisma?

I’m glad you asked - there are three, actually.

 

(1) Conviction

Charismatic people are always convinced of what they’re doing. They don’t suffer from self-doubt… it’s just not something that even crosses their mind. If they’re going to do something, they’re going to do it with CERTAINTY.

I first learned that when I observed a negotiation between a millionaire friend of mine and his banker.

People are always trying to figure out whether what you’re saying is TRUE, and whether it’s IMPORTANT.

Their first clue is whether YOU believe it is.

Because if you don’t even believe in yourself – how can you ever expect anybody else to believe in you?

Daniel Peña, one of the greatest businessmen of the last few decades, goes as far as to say:

“I may be wrong, but I’m never in doubt.”

And I don’t suggest that you have to take it this far… when you don’t know the answer to a question, it can demonstrate a lot more confidence to admit that; besides, if you make things up, the truth is going to come out eventually.

Nevertheless, you’re always better off if you speak with CERTAINTY, walk with CONFIDENCE, and act with CONVICTION. It communicates to the people around you that you know what you’re doing, that you believe in what you’re saying and that you have a plan that you will see through to the end.

This kind of behavior is absolutely magnetic… ESPECIALLY to women.

 

(2) Friendship

Another thing that charismatic people do very consistently is to treat EVERYBODY as if they were their friend.

It doesn’t matter whether they’re talking to somebody they’ve known for decades, or to somebody they’ve only just met.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a beautiful girl, an old lady in a wheel chair or a delivery boy.

Charismatic people treat everybody the same – they treat everybody WELL.

The idea that a true leader, an “alpha male”, is so dominant that he bosses people around and treats them harshly is outdated… that may have worked during the industrial revolution 150 years ago.

But ever since Dale Carnegie has come along (get a copy of his legendary book How to Win Friends and Influence People if you don’t already know it by heart), we know that people don’t respond very well to this kind of leadership anymore.

It’s more than just treating people as friends, though – a charismatic person treats everybody he meets as if they were their BEST friend.

Try this the next time you’re in a social situation. Simply imagine that who you’re interacting with is the BEST friend you’ve ever had in your life.

PRETEND!

Maybe you can think of somebody you knew from back in high-school and that you haven’t seen in a long time, or maybe there’s one friend you have that you can talk about anything with.

Treat that NEW acquaintance with the same familiarity and warmth… shine your light on them, so to speak.

They will notice… and they will likely reflect that warmth back to you.

Even if they don’t (because they haven’t read this article J), they won’t be able to help but notice how charismatic you are.

 

(3) “Never Care…”

…as they say in Asia! The third rule is to stop caring about what other people think about you.

Yes, you are convinced of everything you do, and your every gesture and word demonstrates a great deal of confidence.

Yes, you hold other people in high esteem and treat them well… just like they were your BEST friend.

But at the same time, you don’t care in the SLIGHTEST whether they will do the same for you.

That doesn’t mean you should be careless… rule number two still holds. It does, however, mean that you stop worrying about what people think about you… and how they perceive you.

This is huge – because even if you get the first two elements right, but you’re still looking for approval from other people, it will completely destroy your charisma… and render it COMPLETELY ineffective.

Remember how I said to shine your light on people… approval seeking is the interrupter that switches this light off at the SOURCE.

Why?

Well, the reason is that it completely undermines rule number one.

If you act as if you were acting with COMPLETE confidence, but people can tell that you’re subtly checking in with them to see if they agree – this clues them in that you weren’t really that sure of yourself after all.

 

Exercise:

At the next social event or party you will find yourself at, practice these three mindsets. Behave and communicate with UTTER conviction, treat everybody as if they were your BEST friends, and completely let go of all worry what people might think about you.

Then let me know how it went for you.

I’m betting that, before you know it, you’re going to have a lot better idea how to be charismatic than you did immediately prior to this exercise.

And if you’ve got your charisma going, and you’re ready to tackle the women-thing even more, then you really owe it to yourself to get on our exclusive newsletter and get a lot more insights like this delivered straight to your inbox, so you never miss a thing. I'll start you off with our free report, "The Unconventional Guide To Phone Number Success" -- which you really shouldn't lose out on getting a copy of. You can sign up using the form below:

Onward and upward,

Ricardus